


you are in love

by wildestdreams



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Bottom Harry, Bottom Louis, Fluff, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Pining, Slow Burn, Smut, Top Harry, Top Louis, please read story notes for additional warnings!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-29
Updated: 2016-06-23
Packaged: 2018-05-03 17:03:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 36
Words: 270,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5299295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wildestdreams/pseuds/wildestdreams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The one where there’s late night coffee runs with deep conversations, lots of frat parties with cute frat boys, TV show references, numerous social network interactions, first kisses in the rain and a slow burn love story between two unlikely people.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. the one with the bad sausages

**Author's Note:**

> **important. please read!**  
>   
>  first off, this is a fic that i had previously written on 1dff called "breathe." it's my favorite work of mine and i have a personal attachment to it because so much of this fic was things that i went through. louis' character has a lot of me in it and harry's character has a lot of these two guys i liked. and i just really wanted to share this in a larry standpoint, so i figured why not. i changed a few names, some situations that wouldn't apply to a slash fic, etc. it's quite literally my baby and is well over 200 k.  
>   
>  **now for the warnings.**
> 
> i've left out some additional trigger warnings from the tags that i should warn about, but didn't think it's as necessary to tag it as i should explain it first. there is a situation of secondary rape/dubious consent at some point in the fic. both parties are drunk and some things got out of hand and there was a misunderstanding. it's not explained in explicit detail, however, and i think most of you should be okay reading it. if you'd rather me explain exactly what happens, then when the chapter comes with the scene, i'll definitely warn you and i can just explain what happens so you won't have to read it. in addition, there is also a matter of infidelity between h/l at some point in the fic, but the lines are blurred a bit, so i'm not sure if it's necessary i tag it. once again, if you'd like to know more about it in detail, feel free to ask me.  
>   
> so, without further ado, i present to you another fic with frat boy harry, angsty goodness, and probably too much smut.

Louis was a right mess.

His hair was sticking up in different directions and plastered to his forehead while he was sweating through his jumper from running around so much. He wasn’t complaining, though. Louis’ best mate, Eleanor Calder, or El, as they all liked calling her, was making him laugh till he couldn’t breathe. The two of them were at a local funfair a few blocks from their shared flat, which they’d moved into together about three weeks ago.

“You look like a mad person,” she laughed, pointing to his hair. “There’s also some candy floss in your hair. Hold on.” She stilled Louis and set him upright so she could take out the pieces of candy floss that had gotten stuck in there.

“How’d it get stuck in my hair?” Louis asked, still wheezing from laughing so much.

“I don’t know, Louis,” she replied, picking out little pieces of blue from his hair. “You took it on that last ride?”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “I was eating it and then I stopped ‘cause your ugly mug was screaming so loud.” He laughed thinking about it again.

“That one was proper scary,” she said, giggling nonetheless. “I think I got most of it out. You might need to shower, though, when you get home.”

Louis shrugged, running his hand through his sticky, knotted hair. God knows how his fringe was holding up. El and he managed to go on all the rides at this fair at least twice and the air was sticky hot, making them sweaty and sticky as well, but neither of them cared. Although, they did bump into a few fit boys and El kept walking away from them, making Louis run after while laughing.

“Where to next?” he asked her, once they’d both settled down.

“The Ferris wheel,” she said. “We haven’t gone on that yet.”

“That’s where all the couples are going,” Louis pointed out.

“We can be a little romantic,” she insisted, grabbing his hand and dragging him towards the line.

Louis laughed. “Alright, alright. Let’s get some sausages after because I’ve been eyeing the truck since we’ve gotten here.”

“Sausages from a truck are quite ghastly,” she remarked once they’d gotten on the long line.

“It’s delicious.”

“You enjoy McDonalds, so I’m not surprised.”

Louis barked out a laugh and threw his head back. El hated McDonald’s for some ungodly reason whereas he loved it. It’s _McDonalds_ \-- who didn’t love it? So, every few days, El would Facebook him articles regarding accidents that happened to customers who ate there. Just last week she sent him an article about a woman who got an STD after getting a chicken sandwich there because one of the employees jerked off on it. It made Louis laugh for a day straight.

“Do you wanna see the vines I took of us on all the rides?” Louis asked her after.

She nodded, grinning and stepping closer as Louis unlocked his phone and pulled up his vine app. He didn’t have many followers and he didn’t think he’d get any either. The only things he posted were stupid vines of El and him doing mundane things. These new vines of them on all the rides were epic because they looked nuts, screaming their heads off and laughing from sheer fear.

As they were watching and laughing over them, someone approached the line behind the two. “Eleanor?”

They both looked up and Louis noticed a guy with a girl close beside him. He was somewhere near Louis’ height with a headful of Ginger hair and a friendly smile. The girl beside him was a bit on the tall side with short, choppy, blond hair.

El’s eyes widened and she grinned, closing the gap between them and giving him a hug. Louis hung back, letting them greet each other, and stared down at his phone awkwardly.

“Ed,” El cooed, pulling back, still smiling. “How are you?”

“Good, good,” he grinned. “Just out, spending the day with Taylor.”

“Hi Taylor,” El said, moving away from Ed and hugging the girl. She hugged back, grinning.

“You look amazing!” Taylor beamed. “Did you get a haircut or something?”

“Yes,” El nodded. “Trying the blond look for a bit. Was a risk.”

“No,” Taylor shook her head dismissing her comment. “You look amazing.”

Louis was so busy watching Taylor and El talk, he didn’t notice Ed turn to him. “Hey,” he said, smiling at Louis. “I’m Ed.”

Louis smiled back. “I’m Louis.”

“Nice to meet you,” Ed said, extending his hand and shaking hands with him.

El turned back to them and smiled. “Introduced yourselves?” she asked. Louis nodded and she stood beside him again. “Ed, this is my flat mate. The one I was telling you and the others about a few weeks ago.”

Ed’s eyes widened in recognition and he grinned wider. “Right. You’re the infamous Louis Tomlinson that El keeps talking about. Heard loads about all the adventures you two have and now I finally get to meet you.”

Louis blushed slightly and gave El a nudge. “I’m wondering whether any of the stuff she’s told you is embarrassing or not.”

Ed laughed. “It was funny, don’t worry.”

“And I’m Taylor,” his girlfriend said, walking forward and smiling brightly at Louis. “Nice to meet you. None of these losers bothered to introduce us.”

Louis laughed. “No matter. Nice to meet you, though. I’m Louis.”  

She smiled at them and leaned against Ed, who wrapped his arm around her narrow waist. She was a bit taller than him, but they made it work. They were a really cute couple. “Anyway, you two enjoying the funfair?”

“Yeah,” El nodded. “Been here for a few hours and we’ve gone through all the rides except this one. Louis kept avoiding it saying that it was for couples.”

“Oh, don’t worry about that,” Ed shook his head. “Niall and Liam have gone on this at least three times together, looking well impressed with themselves.”

El laughed and grinned, excitedly. “Are they here?”

Ed nodded. “Zayn and Harry, too. They’re somewhere in this mix. I’m sure you’ll find them. We only got here a half an hour ago.”

“I have to see them,” El said. “I think it’s time I introduced you all to Louis, anyway. He’s started at Imperial just this term.” She turned to look at him with a smile. “They all go to Imperial with me, too.”

“Oh, nice,” Louis said. “It’s a good school. Much better than my last.”

“Where did you transfer from?” Taylor asked.  

“Kings College,” he replied.

“Do you like it at Imperial so far?” Ed asked after that.

“Yeah,” he nodded. “But, I’m kind of looking forward to graduating, really. It’s senior year and I just want to be done with school.”

Before the conversation could continue, the gates opened for the next batch of people to get on the ride. “We’ll see you guys later then?” El asked, looking at Ed and Taylor and they nodded giving her a smile.

El and Louis got on a carriage and the guy conducting the ride pulled down the bar to hold them in and the ride moved them up to let in Ed and Taylor. Once everyone was put in, they closed up the gate and the ride started. Louis turned to El with a smile. “They were nice.”

“Yeah, Ed’s a gem and Taylor is so nice,” she said. “Their relationship makes me so jealous.”

“Why’s that?”

“They’re sickeningly perfect for each other. They’ve been dating for a while and they both play guitar and write songs for each other. I know Ed more, though. I met him, like, my sophomore year at uni. His mates and him are all a part of some frat. Theta Chi, I think, and they also play football so they’re pretty well known on campus. You’d have met them, anyway. They’re really hot.”

“And you’re, like, friends with them?” Louis asked her.

She nodded. “I only know them because of some composition class I took sophomore year with his friend Liam, who I’ll introduce you to. He and I started talking and then he introduced me to Ed and the others.” She grinned for a second as the ride stopped with them all the way on top. “It’s weird because I actually knew Harry first.”

“Harry?” Louis asked her.

“Yeah, he’s one of them. Really cool guy and he’s in more than half of my classes because he’s also a law major like me. I’ve known him since freshman year and we didn’t talk. Kinda liked him a little, too.”

“Oh,” Louis drawled out, smirking. “Are they single?”

“Yeah,” she nodded. “Not sure about Harry, though. I never got the nerve to ask him, but I’ve creeped around his Facebook a little and I think he might be in a relationship.”

“It’s alright,” he said. “Three out of five.”

El laughed and they turned to look out at the view in front of them, enjoying the rest of the ride. Once it was over, they got off and started out towards the sausage truck after Louis whined for the last thirty seconds of the ride, threatening to break El’s shower caddy if she didn’t come with.

However, it was another queue they had to wait in, because El spotted someone and smiled, bringing Louis over. “Hi boys,” she smirked, looking at two boys who were stood on the line. Louis peered over her shoulder and wondered if they were friends of Ed that they were just talking about. They were fit, after all. One of them had brown hair on the sides but a quiff that was bleached blonde. The other had on a beanie that read HYPE.

“Eleanor!” the bleached blonde one grinned, grabbing her and giving her a hug so tight, she was lifted off the ground. He put her down and smiled, rumpling up her hair, affectionately.

Beanie boy grinned at her, too, and gave her a hug before she turned back to Louis. “This is Louis,” she said. “Louis, this is Niall and Liam. Friends of Ed.”

“You saw Ed?” Niall asked.

El nodded. “Louis and I bumped into him and Taylor at the Ferris wheel queue.”

“Well, if you see him again, you tell him he owes me ten quid for the bloody game he kept playing, trying to win Taylor a fucking bear,” Niall said.

Liam smacked him on the chest. “You tell him. It’s not like you live far. Plus, it was your fault. We all know he’s bloody useless when it comes to any game.” With that, he turned to smile at Louis. “Hi, sorry about this one. I’m Liam.”

“Louis,” he smiled. “And it’s alright.”

“You’re the flat mate, right?” Niall asked.

Louis nodded. “We just moved in about three weeks ago.”

“How’s that going then? Planning to rip each others hairs out soon?” Niall said with a laugh.

El and Louis looked at each other and shook their heads. They loved each other way too much. “Quite the contrary, Horan,” El quipped. “Louis and I are doing great.”

“You say that now,” Niall said. “But wait a few more weeks and then you’ll want to kill each other.”

Louis frowned. “Wow. Who do you live with?”

Liam smacked Niall on the chest again and shook his head. “He’s only taking the piss. He lives with Harry, and Ed and Zayn and I are down the hall, but he’s just as much of a nuisance as the rest of us. Plus, he lucked out with Harry, considering Harry cooks and cleans. Zayn trashes our place and Ed smokes weed inside. Really, Niall, you have nothing to complain about.”

“Harry gets up every morning at the arse crack of dawn to go fucking running, waking me up as he goes. It’s the bloody worst, Li,” Niall complained back.

“Oh my god, Louis,” El said, suddenly turning to look at him. “Their living arrangements are so cute. They’re like the show _Friends_. Liam, Zayn, and Ed live in one flat. And Harry and Niall right across the hall.”

Louis’ eyes widened as he looked back at the boys. “No way,” he grinned. “That’s the dream.” Louis turned back to E. “Why don’t we have more friends so we can do something like that?”

“It’s because nobody likes us,” she pouted.

“I wish we were more charming.”

“Too bad we’re just arseholes.”

They started to laugh again at their own joke annoyingly so and turned back to the boys who looked at them in amusement. The queue moved up again and soon it was their turn. Niall ended up buying Louis his as well and the group walked together towards the drinks section. There were a few trucks stood about, handing out pints to people of age, and they settled down near a table with their food.

“Zayn and Harry are getting drinks,” Liam explained. “They’ll be here in a bit.”

El nodded as Louis stood next to Niall to finish his sausage. It was quiet while the two ate and Liam and El chatted about some professor that Louis didn’t know. A while after, two guys approached them, holding two pints each. Louis looked at them closely and his eyes immediately squared in on the one with the fedora.

Now, most people found that unattractive, but Louis for some reason found it rather cute. He was good on the face, too. He had little brown curls peeking out from underneath the fedora and cute, big eyes. The other boy was almost too good looking? So much so that Louis didn’t know how long he could stare at him before his self esteem pummelled down below that he couldn’t find it.   

“Didn’t know we’d have company,” the self esteem killer said, setting down the drinks before giving El a big hug. “Otherwise we’d have gotten more.”

“We bumped into them on the sausages queue,” Niall said. While El was hugging fedora boy, self esteem killer looked at Louis and smiled.

“Hey,” he said.

Oh, Christ. “Hi, I’m Louis,” Louis said, giving him a composed smile, trying to keep his cool.

“Zayn,” he smiled. “Nice to meet you.”

Louis was suddenly so fucking glad he transferred because Kings College had the worst guys -- looks and personality wise -- and _clearly_ Imperial had all the gold.

El looked over at Louis then, pulling away from Fedora boy. “Oh, that’s my flatmate, Louis. Louis, this is Harry.”

Fedora boy—Harry—turned to look at Louis and smiled. It was unfair, really. He had a dimple and the most endearing face Louis’d ever seen.

“Hii,” he said, drawing the word out.

“Hi,” Louis replied, smiling back.

El laughed. “I didn’t think I’d be introducing Louis to all of Theta Chi today, but guess it had to be done at some point.”

“You go to Imperial, too?” Harry asked.

Louis nodded. “Just transferred for my last year.”

“So, you don’t know anyone besides El and now us?” Niall wanted to know.

“No, not really,” Louis replied. “I mean I’ve talked to a few kids in some of my classes, but that’s it. I’ve kinda been up El’s arse since I started, being needy and all that, begging her to have lunch with me everyday.”

“Well, now you’ve got us,” Liam said with a smile. “Speaking of which, I’m still hungry and that sausage was shit.”

“I told you!” El yelled, looking at Louis. He shot her a look with a mouthful of sausage, which in fact was quite awful, but he was starving.

“We should get something to eat before going home,” Zayn said. “We’ve got nothing at home.”

“Well, I don’t know about you guys,” Harry started to say. “But Liam and I cooked last night.”

“What did you make?” Zayn asked with a bored expression. “Ramen cup noodles? Because, I’ll tell you Harold, that’s hardly cooking. You’ve been skimping on the cooking, lately.”

Harry looked sour, which made Louis laugh, as he said, “Well, it’s more cooking than you ever do, Zayn.”

Zayn shoved him with his shoulder, laughing. “Where’s Ed?” he asked.

“El and Louis bumped into him and Taylor by the Ferris wheel last,” Liam told him. “Reckon we go get them and go out for pizza.”

“Sounds good,” Zayn agreed.

Liam looked over at El and Louis. “You guys will be joining, I hope?”

Louis looked to El and she nodded her head. “We’ve only got bread and peanut butter at home,” she said to Louis quietly. She turned to Liam and smiled. “We’d love to.”

“Sweet,” Niall said, suddenly slinging an arm around Louis. “I’ve got so much to ask you about Kings. I’ve got mates going there and I almost went there meself, actually.”

They all started walking towards the Ferris wheel as Louis answered Niall. “It’s an alright school. I made a few friends there and the parties were alright, but I just hated it.”

“Why’d you hate it?” Harry asked, coming up beside them and joining the conversation.

“The professors were not good,” Louis said. “And I think I only had like three friends because everyone else was vapid.”

Niall laughed. “Do you, by chance, know Craig Barnaby?”

Louis laughed, nodding his head. “That tosser threw up on me at a party once,” Louis told him.

Niall let out a loud laugh, throwing his head back. “Good ol’ Craig. Still such a bastard.” They eventually found Ed and Taylor by the gates and all started walking towards the nearest pizza place. Niall and Louis talked the entire way as he asked Louis about several people he knows who goes to that school. Weirdly enough, Louis knew more than half of them for someone who only had, like, three real friends once leaving.

“So, why didn’t you end up going there?” Louis asked him. “You mentioned you were going to, but then didn’t.”

“Right,” Niall said. “They didn’t give me a scholarship for Music Tech, which is my major, and I’m not well endowed enough in the money department to pay my way through uni. Imperial offered me a pretty hefty scholarship and I couldn’t be happier by choosing that school. I’ve made lifelong friends, thanks to this place.”

Louis smiled. “That’s nice,” he said. “They say that in uni, you meet the friends you’ll have for the rest of your life. I don’t agree with that entirely because I haven’t felt that way about friends since college. Uni has been alright, but who knows if I’ll keep in touch with anyone I’ve known for the past three years in Kings.”

“What about El?” Niall asked, looking over at her. She was walking ahead with Zayn and Liam, talking about something. Ed and Taylor were still hand in hand, while Harry walked beside them smiling about something. “You two are roommates and you seem great together.”

“El and I’ve got a funny story,” Louis said, smiling over at her. She turned when she heard him say her name.

“Talking shit about me?” she asked, laughing.

“Yeah,” Louis nodded. “Ton of it.”

“He actually just told me how bad your morning breath is,” Niall played along. “Invest in some toothpaste, El. In the meantime, I’ll get you the mints and gum.”

Louis laughed as she flipped them the bird. “Fuck you both,” she laughed. They’d arrived at the pizza place and piled in, searching for the biggest table. The place was nearly empty, except for one guy sitting alone with his phone out by the window.

They found a big booth to fit them all and Louis slid in beside El with Liam on his other side and Harry and Niall right across from him. They discussed how many and what kind of pies they should get for at least five minutes before Zayn made the executive decision of getting two large cheese ones.

“So, how did you guys all meet?” Louis asked. “El said you’re in a frat.”

“Yeah,” Zayn nodded. “But Liam and Harry went to college together. Then we all got to know each other in uni. We didn’t join the frat until halfway through sophomore year.”

“Do you like it?” Louis asked.

“Do we _like_ it?” Niall asked, grinning, red cheeked and so happy. “We fucking love it. The parties are mental. Especially the ones our frat throws. You guys have to come to a few. Taylor always comes.”

“It’s true,” Taylor nodded, sipping from her Sprite can. “It’s really fun. You two should definitely come. The themes are always creative.”

“In fact,” Niall said. “Why don’t you come to the mixer we’re throwing. It’s for the frat, but it’ll be in my and Harry’s flat.”

El looked at Louis and nodded her head slowly, trying to figure out whether he wanted to go or not. “I mean, it couldn’t hurt?” Louis said. He looked back to Niall. “When is it?”

“This weekend,” Niall said. “Here give me your phone, I’ll put my number in and text myself so I have yours. I’ll text you the details.” Louis pulled his phone out from his jeans pocket and handed it over to him.

While Niall typed in his information, Harry and Liam turned to El and Louis. “What about you two?” Liam asked.

“How did you meet?” Harry asked.

“You mentioned it was a funny story,” Niall added, looking up while fishing his phone out of his jeans pocket.

El and Louis smiled at each other before turning back to them. “I transferred to Louis’s college for sixth form and everyone already knew each other. I was such a loner and I would always see Louis with his friends. He was popular, mind you, and always did theater productions, which I found so cool and wanted to be his friend so bad.”

“She always says that,” Louis cried, laughing. “She says she always wanted to be my friend, but she never approached me. I didn’t know, so I never approached her, either. Plus she hung out with some really sketchy people that I didn’t like so I didn’t want to bother.”

“That’s only because you didn’t want to be my friend!” El yelled, throwing her arms up in the air.

“You never approached me!” Louis argued back.

“That’s because you were intimidating and you were a little emo. It scared me,” she said.

“I went through a phase,” Louis told her. “But I was not scary.”

“You scared me and you didn’t want to be my friend.”

“I didn’t even know you wanted to be my friend. We had one class together and I barely showed up.”

“Because you hated me!” El laughed.

Louis was laughing, too, because they always did this whenever they talked about their past. Argued back and forth about how they didn’t used to be friends.

“I didn’t hate you. I was indifferent.”

“Wait,” Niall said. They turned back to him and the others and noticed them all staring, completely amused and watching them bicker. “How did you become friends then?”

“Oh,” Louis said. “It happened after we graduated sixth form. After freshmen year of uni, we bumped into each other at a mutual friend’s party and just started talking and it’s never been the same since.”

“I love you two,” Taylor giggled. “Watching you talk is like watching a TV show or something.”

El laughed. “It’s not the first time someone has said that to us, believe me.”

“But yeah, we get along so well and we have the best friendship so I’m happy to be living with her and now going to the same uni,” Louis smiled, nudging El with his shoulder. She giggled and put her arm around him. “It’s funny because her mum was quite wary about her living with a guy, until she found out I’m gay.”

“There’s a truth,” El agreed. “But, I get to live out most girl’s dreams of living with a gay best friend.”

Harry laughed. “I knew a girl in college who solely wanted to be my friend because I liked boys, but didn’t understand that I didn’t have a preference of gender, so it wasn’t as quirky as she was making it out to be.”

“Oh, that’s awful,” Louis grimaced before laughing.

The conversation continued to flow between them until the pizza pies came out. They all piled their plates each with at least two slices and dug in. Louis was trying to lick the cheese off his finger when Harry decided to ask him his major.

“Um,” Louis mumbled, putting down his pizza and trying to dab his mouth with his napkin to get rid of the oil. “I’m a computer science and business major. El mentioned you do law with her.”

“Yeah, Harry smiled. “It’s pretty interesting. Can’t say I’m looking forward to law school though.”

“We can do it, Harry,” El smiled at him. “You’re brilliant.”

“Yeah, only because I’ll cheat off you,” he replied, cheekily. El looked shocked and a little taken aback. Louis laughed, turning to the others.

“What about the rest of you?” he said, chewing on another bite. “I know Niall’s Music Tech.”

“I’m doing art,” Zayn said.

“Music,” Ed answered.

“He’s also a singer,” Taylor cooed. “You should hear.”

Louis smiled. “I heard you are, too. Do you study music, too?”

She shook her head. “I’m an English Lit major,” she replied.

“I’m doing engineering,” Liam said slowly. “But, I should just say that I’m rubbish at it.”

“It’s true,” Niall smirked. “He somehow manages to pass, though. Every term his parents pop champagne in honor of him not being kicked out due to being a moron.”

Liam glared at him and pulled his earlobe, making Niall yelp. “That’s because I play football and the team is only winning every season because of me since I’m captain.”

Niall laughed haughtily after that. “Right, but who is co-captain, Liam?”

“You are, but I play better,” Liam argued.

“You can keep telling yourself that if it helps you sleep better at night, but I think everyone in this room knows I’m best. Including that lonely lad sat by the window.”

Zayn, Ed, and Taylor watched them in amusement. Harry, on the other hand, looked bored. “You’re both good, now shut up,” he said.

“Harry here sucks,” Liam said, turning to Louis and away from Niall. “He might be the worst player.”

“Excuse me, Liam,” Harry said, affronted. “Please don’t talk about me like I’m not right here.”

“While Liam is right,” Niall started to say after giving Harry a look. “I can vouch for Harold and say that while he is rubbish, he has improved.”

“How’d he make the team then?” El asked.

“He’s our friend,” Niall said, as if it was obvious. “So is Ed, but he’s actually good. We had to drag Zayn to try outs. He wouldn’t even run the laps. He fucking took out a fag and blew smoke in my face. Bastard.”

Zayn shrugged, grinning cheekily while Louis turned to Niall, looking slightly bothered. “You made all your friends join the team. That’s illegal, I think. It’s called nepotism.”

“No,” Niall argued back. “It’s called favoritism.”

“It’s still an ism,” Louis argued.

“You two are quoting _Full House_ , I don’t know if you’ve noticed,” Liam pointed out, grabbing his third slice.

“If this is not friendship in the making, I don’t know what is,” Harry remarked, smiling at everyone. Louis smiled back because yeah, that’s what it was. Friendship in the making.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you liked it! i plan to update this every sunday.  
>   
> [tumblr](http://quitefinishedlarry.tumblr.com/) / [fic page](http://quitefinishedlarry.tumblr.com/yail) / [chapter post](http://quitefinishedlarry.tumblr.com/post/134228357850/fic-you-are-in-love-author-wildestdreams)


	2. the one with the bay window

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! just wanna say thank you to everyone who has given this kudos/comments/bookmarks/hits. means a lot. please bump this up as much as you guys can. i promise you won't be disappointed. a huge thanks to marie and [mac](http://realitybetterthanfiction.tumblr.com/) for coming through and helping me beta. she's been the absolute best :)  
>   
> i will probably start doing double updates weekly once im done with finals. for now, i hope you enjoy!

After Niall texted El about helping set up, both she and Louis got dressed, (although most frat parties have themes, they decided to keep this first mixer without one) and walked to their flat. It was a ten-story building and each floor had four flats. The boys’ flats were directly across from each other.

“Which one do we knock?” Louis asked El, looking between the doors. One read 13 while the other was 12.

El shrugged and knocked the one on her side. The door flew open a few seconds later with Zayn behind it. “Well, hello,” he said, grinning. He moved aside to let them through. “Boys. Our little helpers are here!”

“But the party is in the other flat,” Liam said, walking out of the kitchen, which was directly in front of the doorway. He grinned when he saw them. “No worries, though. We can chill here for a few. Niall and Harry are getting dressed across the hall.”

He walked over to give the two hugs, and Louis took a moment to look around. The flat was spacious and looked pretty pricey. Even split three ways, Louis was sure the lads must all be well off to afford the rent. There was a little dining area through the kitchen area and on his left was the living room. It had two three seater couches with a flat screen telly facing them. Louis could spot several video game consoles plugged to it, which meant he definitely had to come by again and check out which games they had.

Beyond the living room was a hall leading to three different doors. On Louis’ right was another hall with several more doors behind it.

Ed popped out of one of them, dressed and ready for the party, Louis assumed. “Hey guys,” he grinned, walking over and greeting each with hugs. “When’d you get here?”

“Just now,” El answered. “You guys have a really nice place.” Louis wasn’t the only one checking it out then.

“Would you like a tour?” Liam asked.

“Yes,” El answered.

“C’mon then. We’ll start through the kitchen and work our way around.” Liam led them through their kitchen, which was full of cereal boxes and a couple of bowls spread out on the counters. They had a small dining room table surrounded by five chairs with the living room right next to it.

“It’s great when we want to watch music videos and have our breakfast in the morning,” Ed said as they walked through to the hall. The first few doors down the hallway led to a bathroom and a closet as well as Ed’s bedroom. It was disgustingly messy aside from his guitar, which was kept in its own case, so they were quickly ushered out of the disaster zone and to the other end of the flat. There was a closet and bathroom adjacent to each other with two bedrooms right across from it. Liam got the smaller bedroom while Zayn got the bigger one, but only because he wanted a walk in closet.

“I like organizing my clothes, shoes, and hair equipment, and I can’t have a small closet,” Zayn explained.

“Zayn’s a fucking diva,” Ed told them, earning a steely glare from Zayn as they all headed back to the living room.

“Just because you like to sleep and live in your filth, doesn’t mean the rest of us do,” Zayn argued.

“I don’t have time to clean my room,” Ed fought back, slumping down on the couch. They all took a seat with him and laughed as the pair argued. “I’m a busy man. I have better things to do than fuss with my hair.”

“Plus, you spend, like, three hours in the bathroom,” Liam added.

“I do _not_ spend three hours in the bathroom,” Zayn said indignantly.

“Right. You keep saying that, and next time I’ll fucking time you.”

Just then, the front door flew open and Niall burst through. “Where the hell have you two been?” he asked, looking at El and Louis.

“We got lost?” Louis answered warily.

The boys, minus Niall and El, laughed. Niall only sighed and opened the door wider. “We are across the hall, and Harry’s taking the time of his life in his room. Will you lot come help before this party turns into a shit show?”

They all grumbled and got up, following him down the hall. Niall and Harry’s flat was designed a bit differently than the other boys’. They had spotlights that were dimmed, making the room look a bit eerie. Niall led them through a door on their right and they walked through to be led into the living room, dining room, and kitchen. It was spacious and open. The place looked about ready, but some things, like cups, were still unopened.

“I’m going to be giving you tasks,” Niall said, standing in front of them all. “Ed, get the music started and make sure the speakers are plugged up. Test it out. Zayn, get the drinks ready and put them on that table I set up. Louis, El. Which one of you are good with drinks?”

“I’m pretty good,” Louis said. “Can make a mean margarita.”

“Alright, help Zayn,” Niall commanded before turning to El. “El, you can help me take out some snacks and set out disposable cup and plates. Sound good?”

“Yessir,” they all chanted, throwing Niall mock salutes. They each headed off in different directions to get everything set up. Louis was standing with Zayn in the kitchen, mixing some drinks, when Harry stepped out through the doors next to the living room.

“Hey,” he grinned, spotting them. “How are you?”

“Good,” El answered before getting back to placing red cups on the table.

“I’m alright,” Louis replied. “You?”

“Doing alright. Just showered and got dressed. I was studying all day and that pissed off Niall cause he had to go shopping alone.”

“Studying already?” Zayn asked, wrinkling his nose. “Lectures have only just started. What the fuck have you been studying?”

“I don’t like getting behind on my work. I’ve started all the reading, and I just wrote some notes,” Harry shrugged, standing beside them.

Zayn made another sour expression, making Louis laugh. Harry smiled at him. “How are you, then? Classes treating you well? Has it been a big adjustment?”

Louis shrugged. “It’s pretty much the same in every uni, I think. But I think I like this one more than Kings.”

“It’s because I’m here,” El yelled, grinning at them.

“That too,” Louis added, laughing. “But all in all, the professors are nice so far and the work load has been alright.”

“That’s good,” Harry nodded. “I’m glad you like it. Must be hard switching unis so late in the game.”

“I never really felt at home at King’s to be honest, so I’m kind of relieved to be out of there,” Louis told him. “What about you? How are your classes going?”

“So far, so good,” he answered. “I’ve only had a few lectures, but they’ve been interesting.”

“Will you two shut up about school?” Zayn snapped. “We’re about to have a party, the first one of the year nonetheless, and you lot are fucking gobbing about fucking school. It’s really killing my buzz.”

“You’ll be buzzed enough after you’ve got a couple of these in you, Zaynie,” Harry said, gesturing towards the drinks they were making. They were pouring different sorts of alcohol into different bowls with food coloring in them. Niall’s idea of “punch”.

“I think I want to make jello shots,” Zayn said. “Think we’ve got time?”

“Already in the fridge,” Niall said.

“Niall, you left all the boring work for us,” Zayn whined.

Suddenly, the flat was booming music from every corner. Louis startled and looked up to notice that there were speakers wired in every room of the flat. Shit. They did not play around. Louis wondered how many noise complaints they were going to be getting tonight.

“Leave it to Ed to start off with A$AP Rocky,” Zayn muttered, rolling his eyes. “We should be starting off with Drake.”

“A$AP is amazing, alright? Drake can wait. Plus, Taylor likes A$SAP,” Ed said, walking back into the room. “When are the other boys getting here?”

“In a half hour. The sorority is getting here in another hour,” Niall replied.

“A mixer is where you party with another sorority, right?” El asked. “Are you allowed to invite outsiders like Louis and me?”

“Yeah,” Ed shrugged. “I invited Taylor to come as well, but she’s busy tonight with some of her friends. Plus, I’m sure whoever is coming told their friends as well. This place will be packed.”

“Shit,” Niall said, dropping what he was doing and charging out of the room. They all looked up at him in surprise. “I forgot to lock my bedroom. I will not make that mistake again.”

El and Louis looked at the others in amusement and confusion. “We had a party once and Niall walked into a threesome happening right on his bed,” Harry grinned, cheekily.

+++

As predicted, it didn’t take long for the party to get crazy.

Theta Chi, which was the frat the boys were in, had about eighty nine guys in it. Only three fourths of them showed up, and Louis only got around to meeting half of the lot that were able to come. The sorority that came for the mixer (Sigma something; he couldn’t remember) and there were only twenty girls in it. The amount of people that were just outside guests were about somewhere in between those numbers.

Basically, the place was packed, and it was hard to maneuver around.

Louis somehow managed, but had lost sight of El a long time ago, despite the two of them promising to stick together.

Instead he made his way around the flat, occasionally stopping when he saw someone he knew. The Weeknd was blaring through the speakers and people were grinding up on each other in the living room. There were people playing ten different drinking games in every corner of the flat, and there were two keg stand contests going on.

After about two hours, Louis found himself with Liam and a few of his frat brothers, playing flip cup. The boys on their team were Andy, Dean, and Maz. So far they’d won 3 games out of 5.

“I’m surprised you’re not falling over,” Dean remarked, watching as Louis downed another cup. “You’re so small, but you hold your liquor well.”

“I’ve great tolerance,” Louis boasted, grinning giddily before smoothing it out to something stern. “And I’m not small.”

“You’re on my team forever,” Liam said, slinging his arm around Louis’ shoulder and downing his cup. Louis laughed and felt himself swaying a bit as he moved to the song, which had switched to a dubstep remix of a Zedd song. “I haven’t won this many rounds before.”

“It’s team work, guys,” Louis said, admonishing the compliments.

They watched as the other team went through their turn, but one of the guys could barely lift a finger and his cup didn’t flip, declaring them the winner for the fourth time. Their team cheered in victory, jumping up in the air and doing a group hug. When they pulled apart, Louis noticed El walking over with her nose wrinkled.

“What’s going on?” he asked, looking at her.

“A boy just tried to kiss me,” she said. Liam and Louis burst out laughing, along with the other boys, and she gave them a withering look. “Not funny.”

“It’s generally what happens at parties, innit?” Ed asked. “Everyone’s looking to pull.”

“I guess I’ve just never surrounded myself with such people,” El shrugged.

“Are you not having a good time?” Liam asked, a bit concerned.

“No, I am,” El said quickly. “Let’s dance. I’ve had a few drinks and I love this song.” She grinned and the boys cheered as they walked towards the dance floor in the living room. El put her back to Louis as he leaned into Dean and they danced to the music. It should have been disgusting, what with so many sweaty bodies swaying along with them, but it felt liberating and so much fun.

A few minutes in, El seemed to have started letting loose and Louis noticed her make her way over to Ed and Liam, grinding with them, but laughing too hard for it to look sexy. Louis started to laugh and felt Dean’s arm slip around his waist to pull him more prominently against his front. Louis turned to face him and pushed them even closer, smirking as he grinded back against him.  

Three songs and several more minutes of grinding later, Louis left Dean on the dance floor and pushed his way to the kitchen to grab himself another drink. It wasn’t any less quiet there, in fact, louder due to all the different conversation going around. He saw Zayn and Ed smoking from a bowl with a few other people, their cheeks pink and grins wide.

Louis grabbed his drink and walked around the house, deciding to explore a bit more. He watched as Niall chatting with a few girls and had no doubt that he’d be hooking up with one of them tonight. As he made his way back into the living room, he noticed Harry standing around, seemingly removed from the festivities with a strange look on his face. Louis watched as Harry dodged a blonde sister in a short dress and slipped into his bedroom, closing the door behind him. Louis cocked his head to the side in confusion. Now, if Louis were sober, he’d probably let Harry be. However, Louis was quite far from sober and he ended up following Harry and knocking on his door before walking right in.

He hadn’t gotten a tour of their flat, so it was his first time in Harry’s bedroom. The first thing Louis noticed was that it was dark. The lights were off and it took a minute for Louis’ eyes to get adjusted. It was quite big, with a spacious bed in the middle. What caught his eye was the bay window seat, overlooking the city below and shedding some light into the room and Louis was instantly drawn. It wasn’t until Louis was standing in front of the bay window and looking down, that he noticed Harry wasn’t even in the bedroom. Harry walked out of the adjacent bathroom and cleared his throat.

Louis quickly turned around and Harry grinned. “Oh, it’s you,” Harry said. “I couldn’t see in the dark and thought it was one of those sorority girls that’s been pestering me all night.”

Louis laughed. “Nope, just me. I saw you come in, and I don’t know...I just followed.”

“It’s alright,” he said. “I didn’t mean to walk out, but there have been these three girls from the sorority who have been coaxing me to hook up with them.”

“And you don’t want to?”

“I have a boyfriend.”

Well, that was news. Kind of. El did mention she suspected he was with someone, but they hadn’t talked about it since. “Tell me about your boyfriend,” Louis said, smiling as he sat down on the seat. It had some cushions to lean back against and Louis made himself comfortable. Harry smiled and walked over, sitting beside him.

“I see you like my bay window,” Harry said, ignoring the question.

“It’s nice,” Louis told him. “I’d kill for one. We have a balcony at our place, though. That’s nice.”

“I had to fight Niall for this room,” Harry chuckled. “He finally gave in and said he’d rather get the privacy of his room being away from all the other rooms in the house.”

“His loss,” Louis said, shrugging. “Now, tell me about the boyfriend.” Louis smirked at him.

“Met him in my last year of sixth form. We hit it off, I guess. We’ve been dating since.”

“That’s a long time. Years,” Louis remarked. “Why isn’t he here tonight?”

“He’s busy,” Harry told him. “His name is Xander, by the way.”

Louis nodded, smiling. “Fancy name. Sounds cute.”

“He is,” Harry smiled. “What about you? Anyone in your life?”

Louis shook his head. “I had someone back in my first year in uni and that ended in a disaster. Since then, I’ll occasionally make out with someone here and there, but other than that...nothing.”

“Well, there’s nothing wrong with that,” Harry said.

“No, I know,” Louis said. “I’m actually happier being single than I was when I was in a relationship. It’s only every once in awhile that I’ll find myself wanting to be in one, because it has its perks. But right now, I’m focused on myself, you know?”

“I get it,” he said. “I’m guessing your focus is school stuff.”

“Yeah,” Louis said. “I want to graduate, and I want to do well. I also want a kick ass job and a nice place in the city. That’s what I’ve always envisioned for myself.”

“I hope you get everything you want, Louis.” Harry smiled at him sincerely, and Louis giggled.

“What are your dreams or, like, plans for the future?”

“Law school after I graduate and then hopefully working. It’ll take me years,” he grumbled.

“Isn’t this something you wanted to do?”

Harry looked up thoughtfully at that. “Can I trust you?”

Louis nodded his head.

Harry bit his lip, looking down at his feet. “Truthfully, no. I’m doing this for my parents. They’ve always wanted me to do this, and I thought, why not? Good money, right?”

Louis nodded, feeling himself get a bit sober. “Well, what do _you_ want to do?”

“I dunno,” Harry laughed, running a hand through his hair. “I like singing. I also really like golf. But I think it’s safe to say that neither will get me anywhere.”

Louis laughed, leaning his head back against the window. “So, even though you don’t want to do law, you wouldn’t know what else to do if you had the choice.”

“I wouldn’t,” he agreed. “Well, what about you? Computer science and business. Is that what you want?”

Louis shrugged. “Not really. I enjoy doing a lot of things, but none of them would have gotten me anywhere either. Plus, the demand for jobs in that field is very high.”

“I’ve heard,” Harry said. He sat back and thought to himself for a few seconds. “It’s weird, isn’t it?”

“What?”

“You grow up and you’ve got all these hobbies, right? Passions. And when time comes for you to pursue your _dreams_ , you realize it’s not always possible. You have to choose something that will get you by in life. And your dreams just change entirely and you don’t even realize.”

“Never thought of it that way,” Louis said. He was getting more and more sober with every passing second in this conversation. It was nice.

“It’s just strange,” Harry added. “I remember being a little kid and I used to sing all the time. Growing up I was in bands with my friends and before I knew it, my dreams changed. I didn’t want to be a rock star anymore because just the idea of it seemed so silly, you know? It’s become one of those childhood dreams.”

“What do you dream of now?” Louis asked.

“Similar to yours. Finish school and move out to the city and have a nice place, be with friends and loved ones. I grew up in Holmes Chapel, down in Cheshire. It was the smallest town and growing up there was nice. However, I can’t see myself living there my whole life. I also want to travel.”

“Me too!” Louis told him, getting excited and grinning. “I want to go all over Europe and Australia. America too, if I can manage.”

“Same here,” Harry smiled back. “A lot of people laugh at that. Say we won’t have time and what not, but I just don’t agree. If you want something hard enough, you’ll get it.”

Louis nodded, agreeing with him. Then he chuckled to himself and turned to Harry. "Well, I can definitely cross off having a deep, drunk conversation about life with someone for tonight."

Harry let out a loud, barking laugh. “We should probably head back, anyway."

“Yeah,” Louis said. “They’re probably wondering where we are. Good talk, though.”

“Yeah,” Harry said. “I enjoyed it.” He gave Louis a warm smile before getting up and leading him out the room.

+++

It wasn’t for another few hours that people started to slowly trickle out, and it had taken a great deal of effort from all of them to help the people that passed out get home safely in cabs. Louis had spent the remaining time hanging out with Harry, watching all their friends go crazy. Ed and Zayn were high as fuck, and they were trying to dance with Liam and El. Niall did end up hooking up with one of the girls he was chatting with, but sent her on her way as the party died down.

It was early morning when El and Louis were getting ready to leave, but decided on helping the boys clean instead. Harry and Niall gave the two some joggers and clean t-shirts to wear before they set about throwing empty, used cups in trash bags.

It was Liam that suggested they play 20 questions.

“Good way to get to know each other,” Liam reasoned.

“But we do know each other, Liam,” Ed said, somberly from where he was lying down on the couch.

“I meant for us to get to know Louis and Eleanor,” Liam retorted. “I’ll go first. When you see someone potentially attractive, what’s the first thing you notice?” He was grinning cheekily as he finished asking and El and Louis laughed.

“Obviously his wang,” Zayn joked.

El flipped him the bird before turning to Liam. “Smile! If he’s got a cute smile, I’m in. Or a baby face. I love baby faced boys.”

“Does that make her a pedophile?” Louis heard Niall ask Harry who dropped the cups in his hand and laughed hysterically.

“I think hair for me,” Louis said. “I like a man with a good head of hair, but he has to have, like, style. I can’t have a guy with his hair parted in the middle. That’s disgusting.”

“Interesting,” Zayn said. “I’ve always figured it would be body, you know?”

“Body is pretty far  down the list,” Louis said.

“We don’t really look to see if he’s built up,” El added. Somehow they ended up going through with the game, but lost count of how many questions were asked because each answer diverted them to another conversation, and they ended up losing track of time. It was early morning by the time they all crashed on the floor (which was now clean, thanks to their combined half-drunken efforts) and fell asleep.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you liked it! see you next sunday.  
>   
> [tumblr](http://quitefinishedlarry.tumblr.com/) / [fic page](http://quitefinishedlarry.tumblr.com/yail) / [chapter post](http://quitefinishedlarry.tumblr.com/post/134673166795/fic-you-are-in-love-author-wildestdreams)


	3. the one with the beyoncé roll

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks to [mac](http://realitybetterthanfiction.tumblr.com/) for betaing! you're the best :) everyone go check out her fic [take my breath away](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4608612/chapters/10503018)!  
>   
> side note to readers: i've lowered down the chapter count and squished a bunch of them together. hopefully that seems less daunting. plus, starting this week i'll be doing updates twice a week.

When Louis woke up the next morning, he was met with the sight of Niall’s drool drying around his mouth and cheek. He had a penis drawn over one cheek and was snoring softly. Louis slowly sat up, feeling his skull pounding in his head, and tapped Niall on the shoulder. They were both sprawled out on one couch and when Louis looked down, he saw Ed and Liam on their stomachs sleeping soundly.

“Niall,” Louis said, turning back and poking him harder. Niall shook, startled and opened his eyes slowly.

“Oh my god,” he cried, rolling over once his eyes started adjusting to the light streaming in through the windows. “ _Fuck_ , I feel like crap.”

“I can’t even remember what happened last night,” Louis said slowly. He looked around to notice his surroundings a bit more now that he was starting to really wake up. Along with the two boys on the floor below them, El, Zayn, and Harry were on the opposite couch, also sleeping. It didn’t look that comfortable, what with El taking up double the spot and Zayn lying on top of Harry while he was sat upright.  

Niall was still groaning beside Louis as he slowly got up and stretched. Louis walked to the kitchen and grabbed an empty cup and poured water into it, before chugging it down. He was parched and he really needed some food in him. Like yesterday.

“ _Why, God, why_?” Niall began to moan loudly. He was still clutching his head and rolling around on the couch. His moaning seemed to have woken up Liam, who was starting to sit up and look around confused as to where he was.

Louis made his way around the flat and found a few more strays. Tons of people ended up staying back, too scared to drive out on their own, especially after all the alcohol that was consumed the night before. After making a round, Louis found himself back in the presence of his friends, who were trying to wake up. Liam was fully up with Ed still snoring beside him. El, Zayn, and Harry were yawning on their couch while Niall looked like he was grieving the death of a loved one while hiding under an arm covering his eyes.

“I’m starving,” Louis announced once he felt his stomach rumbling again.

“Me too,” El groaned. “And I’m hungover.”

“I would offer to make a fry up or summat,” Harry began, his voice deep and sleepy. “But we’ve got, like, no groceries.”

“You’ve still got some guests left, too,” Louis told them.

“We should tell them to go home,” Liam said. “Maybe we can go out to eat?”

“Anything’s good,” Louis said, making his way back to the kitchen to grab another cup of water.  

After the boys bid goodbye to their guests, they all got freshened up and headed to a local breakfast diner. They chatted about the party over pancakes, eggs, and hash browns. Turns out, El totally made out with one of the frat brothers and couldn’t even remember his name. They were all laughing and teasing her about it, and Louis’ eyes drifted over to Harry. He could remember bits of their conversation in his room. He wondered if Harry remembered it, too. Harry gave him a small smile before lifting up his coffee cup and drinking it.

+++

El met Louis outside of Huxley Building after his Management class and laughed when she caught sight of the grimace on his face. “Bad day?” she asked as they walked down Calender Road.

“I’m still feeling hungover from that party,” Louis said. “Next time, I will not go that hard. It was too much, El.”

“Same,” she said. “But I’ve taken like three paracetamol already. So, I’m feeling alright, I suppose.”

Louis hummed and looked ahead. It had been about a week or so since school started. Campus was usually dead around the time classes were in session, but since the Activities Fair was being held on Queen’s Lawn, it was buzzing. Louis could hear the pep squad from his classroom, cheering about school pride and all that shit.

“Were you going to go over?” Louis asked El, gesturing toward the crowd on the lawn.

“Wanted to. Niall had texted me, saying he was representing the football team along with Zayn, Ed, and Harry.”

“Let’s go say hi,” Louis said. “I’m free until after 3. I’ve got my Business Law class then.”

“Okay,” she agreed. The two walked towards the crowd and made their way through the different clubs set up as they tried to convince people to join. Along the way, Louis had somehow lost El to the Belly Dancing Group and found himself around the sports section alone.

“Louis!”

Louis turned around and spotted Taylor waving at him from behind a board that read Cheerleading Team. Louis smiled and walked over. “Hey Taylor. How’s it going?”

“Good,” she smiled. “Recruited a lot of new members.”

“I didn’t know you cheered,” he told her. “I can hardly do a sit up let alone all those gymnastic types of shit.”

Taylor giggled. “It’s the only sport I can really do. I’ve been doing this since I was in primary. I’m rubbish at everything else. Have you joined anything yet?”

Louis shook his head. “Can’t see anything that’s caught my eye, plus I’m not really looking to join anything that will take up a lot of my time. I’ve also lost El to Belly Dancing a bit back there. She loves dancing so she’s better off.”

“Yeah?” Taylor asked, with a grin. “Had no idea. She’s never told us. That’s nice though. Why don’t you look around a bit more? If you keep walking you’ll find Zayn, Niall, and Harry. They’re set up for the football team.”

“Liam and Ed don’t play?” Louis asked.

“No,” Taylor laughed. “They do, but Liam is actually representing Theta Chi at the moment. And Ed’s representing another club -- one that he formed actually.”

“Oh,” Louis said. “I see. So, I guess I’ll keep walking and go on over to them.”

“See you around,” she waved. Louis gave her a wave back before continuing to walk down, passing by several other different sports teams. He spotted Harry’s curly head standing next to the football team table and walked over.

Zayn spotted Louis first, though. “Hey Louis! What’s going on? You bunking class to see us? That’s quite sweet of you.”

“Don’t get ahead of yourself. Just got out of class and I’m free till after 3,” Louis told him. “Do _you_ guys get to bunk class for this?”

“Yep,” Niall grinned, cheerily. “We’re excused all day. And good thing for me, too, because it was my turn to give my speech for speech class.”

“Who’ve you got?” Harry asked.

“Rosenberg,” Niall answered. “She’s nice, but extremely strict.”

“I had her,” Harry said nonchalantly. “She loved me.”

“Everyone loves you, Haz,” Niall retorted. “Have you seen your face? You’ve got a really nice, charming face.”

“Niall’s obviously got himself a crush,” Zayn smirked. “Next he’s going to write sonnets and haikus about Harry’s curls and dimples.”

Niall punched him on the arm and Louis laughed. “There you are,” Louis heard from behind him. He turned and smiled as El ran over. “I joined the belly dancing club!”

“You did?” Louis asked, surprised. “Oh my god, you were actually serious about it. I didn’t know you could move like that.”

“I’ll learn,” she shrugged. “I’ve been meaning to join a dance type of club for so long. I’m so excited.”

“Me too,” Niall said. “I’m coming to all the performances.” He winked and El rolled her eyes before looking at their sign up sheet.

“Got a long list of recruitments, I see,” she hummed, flipping through all the pages.

“Yeah,” Zayn answered. “The new freshmen are psyched to join. What’s better is that after they sign up, we convince them to join Theta Chi as well. Two in one.”

“Are you all doing anything other than football and frat stuff?” Louis asked.

“I actually really wanted to check out Gaelic sports,” Niall replied.

They all turned to him, extremely confused, as he rolled his eyes at their expressions. “What’s so shocking about that?” he snapped. “It honors all the sports of Ireland. I need to represent my country, don’t I?”

“By all means, Niall,” Zayn started. “Represent Ireland some more. It’s not like you aren’t already a walking embodiment of it, what with your need to incorporate green into your wardrobe everyday.”

“Don’t forget the brogue,” Harry added with his best impression of Niall’s accent. They burst out laughing because it sounded _exactly_ like him.

“What did you get on your last exam, _Niall_?” Zayn asked, looking at Harry with a mischievous smirk.

“I tried me best, Zayn,” Harry started, once again with an Irish accent. “But I ended up with a turdy tree.”

“Oh, fuck you,” Niall said, shoving Harry playfully. Harry burst into laughter and tried fighting off Niall who continued to try to attack him.

From behind, the boys’ football team coach, Paul, walked over. “Are you lot getting recruitments or sodding around?”

“The thing is, Coach Paul,” Zayn answered. “Niall really wants a break to go sign up for Gaelic sports. He wants to represent Ireland since it’s the best country in the world. After all, you’re Irish as well aren’t you?”

El and Louis started snickering as Coach Paul thought about it for a second before nodding. “I am Irish. And proud. I guess you guys can go have a 15 minute break, I’ll sit down here for a bit.”

The boys jumped off their seats and walked around to join Louis and El on the other side to walk through the rest of the clubs/organizations. Niall did end up signing up for Gaelic Sports. After that, Liam came with them and joined boxing club with Zayn.

“Isn’t that Ed over there?” Liam asked, pointing further down towards the Indoor Activities. They all followed his lead, and sure enough, Ed was stood behind a table that read ‘Lego Club’.

“What’s good?” Ed greeted, once they approached.

“What’s this?” Louis asked, looking at all the different things Ed had built with Legos.

“Ed’s president of the Lego Club,” Harry told him, appearing beside him. “I’m a part of it, too. He said I could be vice president.” Harry looked way too happy about it, causing Louis to start laughing.

“Is it fun?” Louis asked them.

“The funnest,” Ed replied, laughing. “Join. It’s really chilled and we play music more than we build this stuff.”

“I’m down,” Louis said after a while. This was the perfect club to join. It wouldn’t take up a lot of energy or time, which would give him time to focus on his studies. He leaned down and signed his name on the sheet, noticing only a few others had signed up.

They all chat with Ed for a few more minutes before continuing their walk. By the end of it, they all had joined a club or two on their own, but they all wanted to join something together. So, they sought out the least popular club and signed up.

It turned out that the Ultimate Frisbee club had gained eight new members.

 

+++

 

Louis was sat in the dining room doing a few calc problems when El walked in, looking like death. He turned to look at his phone and noticed it was well past midnight. “Where did you come from?” he asked as she dropped her bag and books on the ground before slumping over one of their couches.

“I was in the library,” she groaned. “Revising.”

“All day?” Louis asked.

She nodded meekly. Louis continued to do problems as she sat there in silence. “Bumped into Taylor while I was there.”

“Yeah?” Louis asked, not taking his eyes off his paper. “How is she?”

“Good,” El answered. “She was studying with a few friends and came by to say hi to me. Her and Ed are like the most chilled out couple ever.”

“I agree,” Louis told her. “They aren’t attached at the hip. They, like, do their own thing.”

“It’s so rare to find young couples like that nowadays because everyone’s experiencing all this and it’s new for them, so they feel insecure or _too much_. Then they just end up being clingy and annoying.”

“What was your last relationship like again?” Louis asked, chuckling.

“A disaster.”

They both started laughing, and she pulled herself up and went to her bedroom to wash up. Louis was done with his homework by the time she came back, showered and with a towel wrapped around her head. “I attempted dinner,” he offered as she walked into the kitchen and looked into the bowl. It wasn’t much. He just made some grilled chicken and boiled pasta before adding it in with a pre cut salad.

“It’s delicious,” she said, walking out a few moments after with a plate full. She had ranch dressing in her hand as she sat down across from him. “Did you hear the party this weekend at Theta Chi is construction themed?”

“No,” Louis shook his head, laughing. “What? We have to dress up in, like, hard hats and Timberlands?”

El nodded her head, laughing as well. “You going to dirty dance with Dean again?”

Louis narrowed his eyes at her. “Depends. You going to make out with one of the frat boys and forget their names again?”

El threw a piece of pasta at him and he ducked. It landed out on their balcony as Louis had left the door open. They both shrugged and turned back to each other. “This one’s at their frat house on campus, not the boys’ flat.”

“Darn,” Louis said. “Was hoping to sit in Harry’s bay window again.” El looked at him, confused, and he realized he had never told her what happened. “At the last party, I ended up following Harry to his room when he went in alone and he has this massive bay window, right? So, I sat down and he sat down and we both talked for a while about the weirdest things.”

“Like what?” she asked.

“Life...dreams and the future.”

“So weird, those things,” she said, sarcastically. “ _No one_ ever talks about stuff like that.”

“Shut up,” he snapped, giving her a dirty look as she giggled.

+++

Niall’s face lit up as he scanned the sushi menu. “I’m definitely getting the Beyoncé rolls.”

“There is a _Beyoncé_ roll?” Zayn asked.

“Number forty eight,” Niall pointed out.

Zayn and the rest of them bent their heads down and scanned until they got to forty eight. Sure enough, they had a sushi roll called the Beyoncé roll. _Amazing_. They had all decided to come for sushi after classes ended. It was also a great excuse to try out the new sushi place a block down from the campus.

“Speaking of Beyoncé,” El exclaimed. “I’m still obsessed with her newest album.”

Louis snorted and she gave him a look. “I’m sorry,” Louis said. “I just realized I’m never going to get rid of the image of you singing Partition stark naked that one time you thought you were home alone.”

The boys all looked up, their attention perked, and eyes wide with curiosity. “Do you want to elaborate on that, Louis?” Liam asked.

“He will most certainly not,” El huffed adamantly.

Liam pouted like a child, which prompted El to start laughing. “We all have embarrassing moments, El,” Liam coaxed. “I’ll tell you mine if you want. It’s quite similar to yours actually.”

“Is this what I think it is?” Niall asked.

“What do you think it is?” Liam replied, but then quickly shook his head. “No, don’t answer that. I’ll just say it. Freshmen year when I was a pledge for Theta Chi, one of the things we had to do before initiation was run around the entire campus naked. I was uncomfortable, but I still did it, and then when I was running around the school, I bumped into my English professor. He couldn’t look me in the eye for the rest of the term.”

Louis laughed along with the others as Liam’s cheeks reddened. “Anyone else got one that could top that?” Louis asked, turning to face the others.

“Me mam’s walked in on me jerking off before,” Niall told them. “I was mortified to say the least.”

Louis covered his mouth in shock, but continued to laugh. “That’s definitely worse. Oh my god. Anyone else?” Louis asked, starting to like this game.

“Well,” Harry added. Louis turned to look at him and realized this was the first time he’d talked since they’d gotten here. Harry had seemed a bit down lately, but Louis didn’t know why. “After graduating sixth form, I got an internship at this office. There was this massive meeting going on, and I had to go deliver a message to someone in the meeting, but I walked right into the glass door. Everyone stopped the meeting and came to see if I had a concussion or not.”

“That’s not _that_ embarrassing,” Taylor said. “I have a really bad one.”

“What is it?” El asked.

“I was seeing this guy for a bit. We weren’t official. It was a fling type of thing, but I was trying to impress him, so I got a haircut on the day of one of our _hang outs_. Later on, while we were hanging out, we went to the park and I was standing next to the swings by the bars. I kept flipping my hair to show off, and I flipped my head so hard that I ended up banging it on one of the metal bars.”

“Oh no,” Louis grumbled with a laugh. “Alright. I’ll tell mine. I was at a rager back in Donny a few years ago and it got really bad to the point where I had no idea where I was going or what I was doing. I woke up at the fucking airport of all places.”

“Where the hell were you trying to fly to?” Harry asked, laughing.

“God knows,” Louis shook his head, chuckling himself. “I was a mess. Mum flipped a shit, too. Jesus.”

“Mine’s worse,” Zayn said. “I farted at the mosque once.” The whole table burst out laughing as Zayn turned a shade of red. “It was horrible because when we pray there, we’re meant to be clean and once you let out gas, you basically can’t pray anymore. I had to start over and everyone was staring at me.”

Everyone continued to laugh through Zayn’s story before turning to Ed since he was the last one left. He looked reluctant, but shrugged.

“Alright, fine,” he sighed. “I was at Taylor’s house one summer and I was on her bed naked---.”

“ _Ooooooo_ ,” Niall cooed.

“Shut up,” Taylor rolled her eyes.

“Anyway,” Ed continued. “She’d gone to the bathroom and I was just lying there, my hands behind my head, just chilling. The door suddenly flew open and I expected it to be her, but it was her parents.”

“ _Oh my god_ ,” everyone cried.

“How did you even recover from that?” Louis gasped.

“I was grounded for a month,” Taylor pouted. “But Ed sort of fell off my bed and put his clothes on as quick as he could. I tried to run in and save him, but I was also naked so I stepped out in a towel. It was a rather awkward conversation with my parents afterwards.”

“I can imagine,” El said, eyes wide.

“All I can say is,” Louis started. “El should really look into being a stripper if the law thing doesn’t work out, because she was very good at dancing to Partition.”

Louis got a piece of sashimi thrown at his face for that last comment.

+++

El and Louis didn’t really have any real construction worker type of outfits. They both ended up settling on jeans with white tops and some brown boots. Liam went out and got them tool belts to wear, and after that they were set. This party was much like the last one, but a lot larger since it wasn’t a mixer between a frat and a sorority. Everyone, including people who weren’t a part of the Greek life, showed up.

The frat house itself was nothing special. In fact, the house was actually pretty run-down based on the peeling paint and crooked greek letters nailed above the door. The real appeal of the house was the open living room turned dance floor, flashing club style lights, booming music, and constant flow of beer from the number of kegs lined up against the wall. The floor of the frat was already a mine field with discarded red solo cups. Louis was happy that he had worn thick boots, because his feet were already sticking to the ground from spilt beer and god knows what else. While Louis thought the theme of tonight's party was silly, it seemed his was not the popular opinion since everyone in his sight was decked in their construction worker best.

Louis met a few more new people and chatted with them, including some whom he recognized from classes. He took three shots with El, Ed, and Liam before venturing out to see what else was going on. Much like the last party, a dubstep remix of a Miguel was playing loud on the speakers, and people were dancing all around.

He spotted Niall and Zayn a few feet away, taking drags off a cigarette between them, and walked over. Niall grinned like a Cheshire cat when he saw Louis and placed a hand on a screwdriver on his belt once he was close enough.

“Let’s screw,” Niall smirked.

Louis laughed, throwing his head back. “Funny,” he retorted. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” Zayn said. “A friend of mine passed this to me, and I couldn’t throw it out. Niall offered to share with me.”

“You don’t like cigarettes?” Louis asked.

“I like it plenty,” Zayn answered, blowing out smoke. “However, Lacy Howards has been eyeing me all night, and I’m thinking I’ll be getting lucky tonight. I don’t want to have cigarette breath when we hook up.”

“And what about you?” Louis asked Niall. “Has the _let’s screw_ line worked on anyone else?”

Niall shrugged, grinning. “Haven’t tried it out. Think I should?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Duly noted.”

“Where are the others?” Louis asked. “I know where El and Liam are, but I haven’t spotted the others.”

“Ed’s with Taylor since she came tonight,” Zayn answered. “Harry’s being a little emo because he and his boy are having problems.”

“Yeah?” Louis frowned. It surprised him about Harry.

Niall nodded. “They were great, and Xander’s really nice. But they’re fizzling out, you know? It’s just been so long and it’s sort of lost its excitement. I don’t know how they’re holding on. Xander’s so uninterested. So is Harry, kind of. But he’s a bit of a hopeless.”

Louis decided not to ask anymore questions, but kept it in mind as he nodded and turned back to the party. A few of their friends, along with some of the other boys in the frat, were walking over to them just as Zayn threw the cigarette out.

“We’re going to play suck and blow,” Liam said.

“I haven’t played that in so long,” Louis exclaimed.

“I have _never_ played,” El tacked on.

A few of them looked at her in surprise, but Niall quickly told her the rules and the basis of the game. It started off with one person holding onto a card with their mouth by sucking it in and passing it on to the next. Whoever dropped it had to make out with the person they were passing it to. El nodded in understanding, and they started the game.

It was starting to get pretty easy until someone suggested they do a round of shots. Louis downed his shot and shook his head as he tried to focus on his surroundings, but it was starting to get a little hazy. He blamed all the pot being smoked a few feet away from them, blowing the smoke in their direction and making it hard to see.

As they continued the game, Dean somehow ended up next to Louis. He smiled at Louis and took the card from Niall before passing it on to him. It didn’t end up on Louis’ mouth, but instead the floor. Everyone started cheering around them, and Dean smiled before leaning and kissing Louis. Louis kissed back and opened his mouth to let his tongue in once before pulling away.

A part of him felt like Dean had been waiting to do that for a while, but Louis didn’t let on that he knew. Instead he focused on where the card was going. It ended up between Ed and Taylor. When the two of them purposely let the card fall and grabbed on to each other to make out, the game ended. They all left the still snogging couple alone, and Louis grabbed El’s hand to go on the dance floor.

+++

 

 

Twenty minutes later, instead of slaving over his stupid paper on his laptop, Louis found himself sitting on the hood of Harry’s old, used Volkswagen and sipping coffee with him. They were parked beside a small coffee shop just off campus and there was literally only one other person there. The guy looked like he was doing some top notch studying with four cups of coffee surrounding him and his books on his table by the window.

Harry and Louis hadn’t spoken much, other than the usual hello and what not. Harry  seemed tired, but he said he couldn’t sleep, which Louis didn’t quite get. Louis adjusted the beanie on his head and leaned back against the glass pane.

“What’s El up to?” Harry asked, turning to look at him, while lifting his coffee cup up to his lips and taking a tentative sip after blowing on it.

“She was passed out on the couch when I left,” Louis told him, chuckling. “There were about five textbooks open so I assume she knocked out in the middle of revision. She studies so hard.”

Harry nodded, laughing himself. “She shows up everyone in our  class, but not in a bad  way. She’s an overachiever, and I admire that.”

“I know,” Louis agreed. “I wish I was more like her. My paper would have been done ages ago. However, I don’t think I could ever be as smart as her.”

“ _Heeey_ ,” Harry drawled out, looking at Louis like he offended him. “Don’t talk down on yourself like that. You’re plenty smart. Sometimes you’re busy and you can’t always get a paper done _right_ away. Happens to all of us, I’m sure, including El.”

Louis smiled at the thought of Harry not liking him talking down on himself. It wasn’t just now. Harry always seemed to do that. Louis had noticed it a few times before when they’d hung  out. He remembered this one time  Niall was talking about his footie skills and how he really needed to brush up because he didn’t think he was that good. Harry had sat him down and gave him such a nice pep talk, which had Niall blushing and hugging him for a good five minutes after.

Harry seemed like the type of guy who just wanted everyone to be happy and sure of themselves. It was a nice thing. Not a lot of people were like that. There were  some who _pretended_ to be like that, but Harry’s concern for others was all real and genuine.

“What class is the paper for anyway?” Harry asked.

“English,” Louis sighed. “It’s kind of a stupid class considering it has nothing to do with my major. However, I didn’t take it at King’s and it’s a required course here, so now I’m stuck having to discuss and analyze the relationships in Shakespeare’s plays.”

“That’s not _too_ hard,” Harry said slowly. “Shakespeare’s plays were all literally teenagers messing about and people dying here and there. You can totally do this.”

Louis shrugged. “I know I can, I’m just too lazy to.”

“If you want, I can help. I’m pretty good in English.”

“I’ll let you know if I need anything,” Louis said, smiling at Harry.  

“I mean, discussing and analyzing other people’s relationships is simple, it’s only hard when you try to do the same for your own.”

Louis watched Harry carefully as he suddenly went into deep thought. “Is that why you can’t sleep?” Louis asked. “I know you’re tired and your eyes are probably really heavy. Too much on your mind? ”

“Pretty much.”

“Mind if I ask why?”

Harry shrugged. “Life’s weird.”

“Can’t argue there.”

“It’s like you’re living your life, and it’s set a certain way, yeah? And you’re just living it and going down this path, but then things just slowly start changing around you and suddenly you’ve got to change your entire route. It’s weird.”

“I can relate to that,” Louis said to him. “Did you know when I started applying to uni’s I had a completely different major and school in mind? And not only did my major change, but I changed schools too. I never wanted to go to King’s or Imperial. I wanted to go somewhere completely different, and as time passed and life threw different curveballs my way, I had to change my path  too, I guess.”

“But are you happy?” Harry asked, looking at him intently.

Was Louis happy? Sure, he never thought he’d be where he was now, but when he thought long and hard about it...it wasn’t that bad. He was with friends, and he had great things going for him. So, yeah, he could reasonably say he was happy.

Louis nodded his head. “I’m happy.”

“You’re embracing the change.”

“Everyone should embrace all the changes that happen throughout their life. Life is never meant to be lived at a stand still. It’s always supposed to keep moving and evolving. It’s how you take the change and react to it that matters. If your response to change is positive, good things will come.”

Harry was staring down at his hands in his lap. His coffee was resting between his thighs on the car metal, slowly cooling down. “You remember when I told you about my boyfriend, Xander?”

Louis nodded his head. “You’ve mentioned him.”

“I think that we’re going to break up,” Harry mumbled.

“Oh.”

“Yeah,” he continued. “It’s not, like, anyone’s fault. We aren’t fighting either. Things are just...all of a sudden changing. Mostly between us. Things are starting to fizzle out, and we’re just drifting apart, but the more I think about it, the more I realize that it’s been something that’s been happening for a long time. I was just too blind to see it.”

“Can you be a bit more specific?”

He nodded, turning to face Louis. “We started dating the year before Uni started. Then we both went to different schools and obviously got, like, a whole new circle of friends. He has his friends over there and I have mine here. He also lives on campus, so I don’t really see him a lot.”  

“Where does he go?” Louis asked.

“Manchester,” he replied. “It’s a bit of a trip whenever we do see each other, which isn’t often. With my course workload and his, it’s next to impossible to find time. The most we’ll see each other is maybe a weekend or two every month other than summer. Texting, calling, and video chatting has become a bit like a chore for both of us, quite frankly.”

“When was the last time you saw him?”

“Last month, I think.”

“That’s not so bad,” Louis offered, trying to cheer Harry up. “It’ll be fine.”

“I don’t know, Louis. I feel like we’re both holding on to this thin thread that’s become frayed. These things happen to couples, I just never thought it would happen to us.”

“What happens now, though?”

“I have no idea,” he said, shrugging. “It’s life, like you said. It throws its curveballs, and we’re just supposed to take it and go with it.”

“Exactly.”

Harry smiled softly, turning to look at the road ahead as a few cars drove by. His dimple was sunk in, and he seemingly looked a bit less burdened. Louis was glad he was able to help Harry ease some of that weight.

“What about you then?” he asked, still facing forward. “Found anyone new you like?”

Louis almost laughed out loud. “Nope. I’m single and I’ve been single for almost two years.”

“People stay single for years. Not a big deal.”

“Yeah, I know,” Louis said. “I’m not complaining at all, to be honest with you. I quite prefer it this way.”

“You like being alone?” Harry asked, turning to look at Louis again.

“No,” he shook his head. “I don’t mean that I like being alone. I think it’s more that I like being independent. I’ve had relationships...mostly flings. And I’ve liked a lot of guys even though we didn’t even date, which might sound confusing. Okay, how do I explain this?” Louis thought for a few moments before looking at Harry. “Have you ever felt like you’ve felt everything there is to feel and now you’re kind of just ready for the real deal?”

Harry thought for a moment, scrunching up his brows. “Do you mean you’re looking for _the one_?”

“I don’t know,” Louis said. “Like, okay. All my life I’ve liked all these guys and some of them I had _things_ with.”

Harry started to laugh, loudly, his voice ringing out. “Define _things_.”

“Not like that,” Louis groaned, covering his face briefly as he blushed. “I mean like hook ups and flings. And I’ve also had a relationship here and there. Like actual ones. And my last one was, like, a disaster. I wasted my time on this idiot, who I don’t even want to talk about.”

“But I want to know about him,” Harry insisted, still grinning.

Louis rolled his eyes. “Maybe another day.”

“Fine, fine. But continue with what you were saying.”

“I think,” Louis started. “What I’m trying to say is that I’ve spent all my life liking all these guys and I took the past two years to really look at the choices I made. Some of them were okay, but most of them I regret because they treated me like shit and I deserved better. I went from liking one guy to another guy and I fell too hard and too quickly. It always ended up a mess, mostly on my end. I think it was a result of me just being a dramatic teenager, but now that I’m growing up and I’m older, I’ve seen the error of my ways. I know now what I’m looking for and I know what I want and need. So, if I see someone I really like that I know will be good to me, then I guess I would be down for it. However, I won’t waste my time anymore falling for people who will only hurt me in the end.”

“You’re comfortable and you’re happy where you are,” Harry concluded from Louis’ little speech.

“Yeah, I am. Like, I’m not actively looking for anyone like I used to. If it’s meant to be, it’ll happen on it’s own.”

“That’s quite nice,” Harry said. “I like that you’ve figured out who you are and what you want because most people our age haven’t.”

“Thank you,” Louis smiled. During Louis’ speech, Harry somehow shifted back and leaned against the glass pane with him. The two of them lied there, staring up at the night sky. “I do miss that stuff though, sometimes.”

“What stuff?” Harry asked, looking at Louis again.

“The flirting and the hand holding and the cute stuff.”

“They’re pretty nice, I guess. When was your first kiss?”

Louis laughed. “When I was, like, four. I kissed this girl I used to play with.”

“That doesn’t count,” Harry insisted. “You were like a toddler.”

“Okay...the one after that was probably in Year 8. I liked this guy...I actually thought I was in love with him. It was in a dark classroom and he told me he loved me. I was proper smitten.”

Harry chuckled quietly. “Mine was in Year 6. I kissed a girl back home in the park against a tree. It was _pretty_ steamy.” He looked so smug, Louis couldn’t help but giggle as he looked up at the sky turning a soft purple.

They continued to lie there and talk about different things. Mostly just questions going back and forth about their lives. It was fun. So fun, that Louis bolted upright when he saw the sun slowly start coming up, making the sky turn a light blue.

“Shit,” he gasped, checking the time. He literally had less than three hours to get his paper done. Harry looked at him and his own eyes widened when he realized what Louis was suddenly so panicked about.

“I’ll drive _super_ fast,” he promised, practically falling off the hood of the car and getting into the driver’s seat. True to his word, they reached Louis’ flat in five minutes. Louis got out and closed the door before looking back at Harry.

Louis put his hands on the car door where the window was open and leaned down toward Harry. “Thanks for the coffee and all. It woke me up.”

Harry laughed. “Hopefully it keeps you up long enough to finish your paper. Thank you, too, by the way. For spending time with me.”

“I had fun,” Louis told him honestly. “It’s rare for me to find people who I can sit down with and completely lose track of time. It’s nice.”

“We could keep doing this if you want,” Harry offered shyly. “Next time one of us has to stay up or can’t sleep.”

Louis grinned at him. “I’m down for that.”

“Cool,” Harry smiled, dimples popping. “I’ll let you go. See you at school.”

Louis waved to him before backing up away from his car and letting him drive away.

+++

Louis somehow pulled through the next few hours and printed out his finished paper before trudging to school. Thankfully, he only had two classes that day, and once he handed in his paper at his last class, he quickly went back home. Well...as quickly as he was able to in his zombie-like state. Louis was crashing hard when he got to his room.

He knew the perfect way to make sure he slept like a baby. He took a warm shower and then drank a glass of milk before making his bed and getting into it. He felt so content, finally giving into his slumber. However, his phone started to vibrate under his pillow so he fished it out and unlocked it.

 

+++

 

+++

“Okay, I’ve got one,” Harry said as he sat across from Louis in the senior common room. “Tell me something that you miss.”

“Now, _that’s_ a question,” Louis said, rather impressed. He thought about it for a while before shrugging. “I don’t know, to be quite honest with you. I do get nostalgic a lot about old times.”

“Like what?”

“Like...old friends who I don’t talk to anymore. Or like the way things were before. Even if like I’m happy with how things are right now, I’ll feel nostalgic for old times when things I guess were simpler, simply because I was younger. However, when you’re a teenager, everything felt like the end of the world. Boy, was I naive.”

“I can relate to that. Sometimes I think about how simple life was back in Cheshire,” Harry chuckled. “Before I had a serious boyfriend. Before I had to start thinking about getting my own place and getting a job. God, I do miss that.”

“Me too,” Louis agreed.

+++

 

+++

“I know that we’ve been covering some pretty basic areas while doing this question a day thing,” Louis said. “However, I kind of want to ask something that’s been on my mind for the longest time.”

Harry, who was leaning back against the glass pane on the hood of his car, seemed rather comfortable as he stared up at the slow sunrise. His legs were crossed and he looked peaceful. “The point of these questions is that we get to ask each other anything we want. Anything that’s on our minds, innit?”

“True,” Louis agreed, still looking at him rather than the sunrise. “Why don’t you sleep?”

Harry finally turned to look at Louis, and Louis expected him to look bothered, but instead he laughed. “Why don’t I sleep?”

“Yeah,” Louis said. “You’re always up at the wee hours of the night. And in the morning you’ve got classes and you’re a law student. I’m positive that you’ve got a ton of coursework, which you do. And you’ve got friends and a frat and football. Are you a robot, or something? A vampire?”

Despite Louis’ teasing, Harry wasn’t laughing anymore. He looked like he was at a loss for words as he sighed and rested his head back so his face was tilted up at the sky. “I don’t know. Why do you think I don’t sleep?”

“Well,” Louis said slowly. “I don’t know either. It’s why I’m asking, obviously. You know what I’ve heard, though?”

“Hmm?” he hummed. “What’s that?”

“People who don’t sleep at night are either lonely, drunk or in love.”

Harry chuckled at that. “What about you then? Which one of those are you?”

“I’m obviously not drunk and neither are you, unless you spiked your coffee when I wasn’t looking.”

“Are you lonely, then? Like, do you ever get lonely not having that someone in your life?”

“Sometimes, yeah,” Louis whispered. It was weird that he was even saying this because usually he didn’t let people know this side of him. He always let them think he was okay and that he didn’t need anyone...that he was fine on his own. With Harry, it was surprisingly easy being honest. “Sometimes it’d be nice to have someone, I guess.”

“It would, wouldn’t it?” Harry whispered back, almost as if speaking to himself rather than Louis.

Louis wondered if Harry was lonely, too, despite having Xander. He didn’t answer Louis’ question and Louis didn’t want to keep prodding him to the point where he became uncomfortable. It was obvious that Harry himself was trying to figure out what it is that he wanted or needed. It was clear he was going through something and he was just trying to make sense of it.

+++

When Louis got home it was around six in the morning. He walked into the flat and found El in her bathrobe in the kitchen. “Hey,” he smiled, feeling awkward as he closed the door behind him. He pulled off his beanie and put it on the counter. El was pouring herself a bowl of cereal and turned to Louis once she put the milk back in the fridge.

“You just got home?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.

Louis nodded. She knew that some nights Louis slipped away to go for coffee runs with Harry. They always promised themselves that it would last only an hour or so, but every night they just lost track of time and ended up staying until the sun was completely up. And even though El knew, Louis didn’t know why, but he still felt weird talking about it with her. As though he got caught doing something he shouldn’t have been, which was ridiculous.

“You were with Harry again, right?” She was leaning back against the counter, eating cereal and staring him down.

“Yeah,” he replied meekly.

“Okay,” she hummed, taking a big bite in. “What the hell is going on between you two?”

“ _Nothing_ ,” Louis cried. “We’re just two friends who talk and get coffee.”

“In the middle of the night!”

“So?” Louis shot back. “It’s morning on the other side of the world. Maybe we’re just in the wrong time zone.”

“Well, too bad you’re currently living in _this_ time zone. You’re looking more and more like a zombie every day without any sleep.”

“I do sleep.”

“You go to class, you come home and crash, wake up and do some course work, and then you’re out with him all night.”

“I don’t do it every night,” Louis insisted.

“I don’t know why you do it at all,” she shrugged. “Like, you could talk to him in the morning. Go over or have him come over. Meet up on campus. Anything. You guys are crazy.”

El had a point. Louis understood where she was coming from, but he was quickly realizing that he’d rather talk to Harry than sleep. He _wanted_ to talk to him more than he _wanted_ to sleep.

“Anyways,” she said. “It’s your thing. So, I guess I shouldn’t judge. What do you guys even talk about?”

“A lot of things,” he mumbled. “Like, we ask each other a question a day, and sometimes we literally just talk for hours about the simplest things. And then there are some nights when we talk about really deep things. It’s nice.”

“How are he and his boyfriend doing?” El asked.

“Not so good,” Louis replied, thinking of all the frowns and sad looks that overtook Harry’s face whenever the topic of Xander was brought up during their late night coffee runs.

“Yeah, Niall was telling me something about that. Trouble in paradise.”

“No paradise,” Louis scoffed. “From what he’s told me, they’ve been drifting for a really long time, and lately it’s just become worse. He’s quite upset about it. Talks about it with me sometimes.”

El gave him an impressed smile before adding more cereal in her bowl. “That’s cool, I suppose. Have you ever seen Xander?”

Louis was stumped because for as much as Harry talked about him, Louis realized he had no idea what the lad even looked like. “No,” he replied. “Wow...I really haven’t. I’m going to look for him now.” He quickly pulled out his phone and went on Instagram to do some stalking. He came across a few recent pictures on Harry’s account, since it seemed Xander didn’t have an Instagram account, but Harry had plenty that he’d posted over the years. Xander was as tall as Harry -- if not taller -- and he had short, brown hair with a wide, charming smile.

“He’s cute,” El commented, now standing beside him and looking at his phone screen.

“He really is,” Louis agreed. He had no doubt that he would be, but there was a part of him hoping otherwise, and Louis didn’t want to delve too deep into that.

El laughed. “You don’t sound that happy.”

Louis glared at her. “I don’t want to know what you’re insinuating, but whatever.”

“Right,” she drawled out, giving him another knowing smirk. “Anyway, he seems nice.”

“He seems it, but he’s upsetting Harry. And that’s not cool.”

“Every story has two sides,” El reasoned. “Like, Harry could be equally upsetting him. It’s not really anyone’s fault, right? They’re both just drifting apart?” Louis nodded his head. “Then maybe he’s struggling just as much as Harry is.”

“Maybe,” Louis nodded, scrolling down to see more pictures.

+++

 

Niall, Liam, Ed, Zayn, El, Taylor and Louis were all stood in a line in Louis and El’s living room. “Okay,” El said, with the stereo remote in her hands. “On the count of the three, I’m going to play it again. Let’s do this one more time.”

Louis laughed with the others as she pressed play for the upteenth time and the first notes of “Everybody” by the Backstreet Boys started to play. The seven of them did the whole music video dance routine to perfection as they had been practicing for the past hour or so. Turns out, they all loved themselves a little Backstreet Boys from time to time and just couldn’t resist. What else were seven uni kids supposed to do on a Friday night?

_Uni! Party! Turnt!_

“Am I original?” Niall crooned.

“Yeah!”

“Am I the only one?” Ed sang.

“Yeah!”

“Am I sexual?” Niall grabbed his crotch and thrusted into the air.

“ _Yeah!_ ”

It was really funny because they all decided that Niall was Nick, Ed was Brian, Liam was Howie, Zayn was AJ, and Harry was going to be Kevin, but he wasn’t here so Louis took his place. He was the only one that didn’t come over because it turned out he was meeting Xander after a month not seeing one another. The two of them were currently over at his flat. It kind of sucked not seeing him, but Louis tried not to be too upset about it because maybe this meant he and Xander could talk and work things out. Louis really just wanted Harry to be happy.

After more dancing and singing, they finally settled back on the couches with a few takeaway boxes from Hunan Palace down the block.

“Did we tell you guys about date night?” Liam asked Louis and El, shoveling fried rice in his mouth.

El shook her head. “I know about it, but you guys haven’t mentioned it. Is it coming up soon?”

“Yeah,” Zayn answered. “In about two weeks.”

“What’s date night?” Louis asked, biting down on his chicken wing.

“Date night is a frat thing,” Niall interjected. “All the boys get in their best tuxes and ask their bae to go to date night. We dance, we drink, we have a good time. This year is supposed to be really good.”

“Why’s that?” El asked while Zayn rolled his eyes at Niall and mouthed _bae_ as though he couldn’t believe Niall just said that.

“Because we’re planning it,” Liam laughed.

“It’s going to be legend-wait for it-,” Niall began before pausing with a big grin. “Harry! Legand _Harry_. Clever, innit?”

Half the people in the room rolled their eyes, while the other half scolded him on his bad jokes. It only made Louis wish Harry was here. Louis decided to text him and see what was up with him. Harry probably wouldn’t respond as quickly since he was spending precious time with Xander, but Louis was wrong because he did right away.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next update will be on thursday!  
> [tumblr](http://quitefinishedlarry.tumblr.com/) / [fic page](http://quitefinishedlarry.tumblr.com/yail) / [chapter post](http://quitefinishedlarry.tumblr.com/post/135154950570/fic-you-are-in-love-author-wildestdreams)


	4. the one with the dead end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just say wanna say a huge thank you to anyone who's reading, commenting, etc. it means a lot. i know the fic is slow (i tagged slow burn after all :p), but it does pick up and i'm sure some of you will like it. i also wanna say thank you to [mac](http://realitybetterthanfiction.tumblr.com/) for betaing! she's been of massive help. also, if you wanna see some extras for the fic (playlists/edits/flat and uni layouts, then follow me on tumblr! i'll be linking it below.  
>   
> enjoy! :)

El and Louis were tidying up the flat since Saturday was their designated clean up day. It was El’s idea because she liked to keep everything clean. Louis didn’t enjoy it much and eventually found himself taking a rest every five minutes while El took turns cleaning the kitchen and the bathrooms. Louis felt guilty at times when she gave him the easy stuff to do, such as vacuuming and dusting, while she took care of the heavier stuff, but Louis was always hopeless when it came to cleaning or doing any sort of strenuous work. It’s a good thing El enjoyed cleaning.

“You’re so lazy,” she remarked, looking at him lounging on the loveseat in his bedroom after having vacuumed his room.

“I’m taking a break,” Louis told her as she walked into one of the bathrooms. He was looking at all his social networks to see if anything else updated since he last checked ten minutes ago.

“You rested, like, ten minutes ago.”

“Whatever, you muppet.”

Louis went back to browsing his phone and decided to check Instagram, liking the selfie that Niall just posted when he got a call from his younger sister, Lottie. Louis smiled as he pressed answer. “Hey Lots,” he said, putting it on speaker.

“Hey, you! Haven’t heard from you in a while.”

“Sorry, I know. I haven’t had much time with school and everything.”

“Yeah? How’s the new school treating you?”

“Good,” Louis replied. “Course work has gotten pretty loaded already.”

“Is that Lottie?” El asked, walking out of the bathroom and into his room. Louis nodded.

“Hi El!” Lottie greeted.

“Hey Lottie. How are you, babe?”

“Good, how are you? Hope my brother isn’t being a complete nightmare to live with.”

“Um, _excuse me_ ,” Louis interjected.

El laughed. “He’s been great, don’t worry. We’re having fun.” El paused for a bit before smirking. “Did he tell you about Harry yet?”

“I’m going to punch you in the face,” Louis said, lunging towards El. El laughed, trying to fight him off.

“I’m only trying to catch her up!”

After Louis playfully swatted El away, trying to make her shut up, he reassured Lottie that Harry was just a friend and nothing more despite whatever crazy thing El might be insinuating. Then, the three of them gossiped about the people in their town and everything that was going on back in Doncaster. When Lottie hung up, Louis and El managed to finish cleaning before ordering Chinese takeaway to eat while watching season three of _Once Upon a Time_.  

+++

Louis and El walked to the frat house for the party that night, and when they got there, they saw Liam and Zayn standing outside and smoking. “Look who it is,” Zayn said, grinning as he breathed out smoke from his mouth. “You guys look lovely.”

“Thank you,” El smiled, hugging Zayn before saying hi to Liam. “It’s cold out, so we’ll be going inside.”

“Join us once you’re done with the smoke break,” Louis called after them as they waved back to him.

The place was packed like every other weekend with people dancing and drinking everywhere. The bass was thumping with a rap song, and El and Louis bopped their heads together and walked by, laughing. They walked to another room where the drinks were placed up against a wall on a table. Harry and Ed were standing over there, making drinks and chatting when they walked up to them.  

“Hey,” Louis smiled, nudging Harry before shooting a grin to Ed as well, who gave him a quick one armed hug.  

Harry turned to Louis and smiled. “Hey, you,” he said. “Just got here?”

Louis nodded. “How are you?”

“Good,” he replied. “You?”

“I’m alright. I need to ask you about the other night,” Louis said, slyly, in reference to Harry’s weekend with Xander. He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, causing the other boy to chuckle and blush with the insinuation.

“I’ll tell you when we’re alone,” Harry said.

“I’ll hold you to it,” Louis said. “I’ll see you guys in a bit. Going to walk around a bit more.”

“Alright, see ya,” Ed said as Harry gave him a nod. El decided to stay back since Ed asked her about the new _Game of Thrones_ episode, meaning she was going to stand there for another ten minutes straight talking about that. Louis made his way around, finding himself stopping every few minutes to talk to someone. It was safe to say that he enjoyed the crowd at Imperial a lot more than he had at Kings. As he was talking to one of the frat boys, Andy, he heard his name being shouted.

“Louis!” Louis looked past Andy’s head and saw Niall walking over with Dean and waved to them.

“Hey guys,” Louis grinned. “How’s everything?”

“We’re on the hunt for someone to ask to date night,” Niall explained. “Dean’s looking for a fit lad, I’m looking for a fit lass, and so far we have nothing.”

“Shoulda done what I did,” Andy said. “Asked someone at the Delta Sig mixer that was last week.”

Louis laughed, shaking his head in a disapproving manner. “There are loads of fit lads and lasses in here, guys. Don’t be discouraged.”

“I’ve been eyeing Barbara Palvin for a bit, to be quite honest,” Niall admitted. “She’s fit and we kissed a time or two, but nothing serious.”

“How about you go and make it serious,” Louis winked at him, making Dean laugh.

Niall seemed determined after that, though, making his way over to Barbara, who was stood a few feet with a few girls, leaving Louis and Dean alone. Louis smiled as he watched Niall making conversation with Barbara. “I hope this works out,” he told Dean.

“Me, too,” Dean replied. “Has anyone asked you to date night?”

Louis turned to him and shook his head. “Nah,” he shrugged.

“Well, um,” he eyed Andy for a moment, who was staring at his phone. “Uh -- could we talk a little later?”

Louis nodded his head and smiled at him before excusing himself from the two to make his way around again. He found El, Ed, and Zayn all sitting on a couch, and the one beside it was where he found Harry all alone with his phone out. Louis walked over after grabbing himself a drink and sat down beside Harry.

“Hey texty texty,” he teased him.

Harry looked up at Louis and smiled, locking his phone and putting it in his pocket. “What’s up?”

“Not much. Did you know Niall’s asking Barbara Palvin to date night?”

Harry barked out a laugh. “I’m not shocked. He’s been into her for a while, but hasn’t made a serious move, which I think he should. She’s sweet.”

“Yeah, she’s great,” Louis said. before sipping his drink and angling his body towards Harry. “Enough about them. What are you up to?”

“I spoke to Xander last time he was here…,” Harry said quietly, leaning in to Louis a bit to offer them some privacy.

“And?” Louis prodded.

“He kind of agrees about us, like, not being how we used to be.”

“That’s good,” Louis said. “So, it’s not just you being paranoid. Now you can work on it, right?”

“We said we’d try,” he smiled. “I was happy with that. And by the way, earlier you were making some suggestive looking faces at me asking me about that night. I hate to burst your bubble right now, but we didn’t do anything.”

“Really?” Louis asked, a bit shocked. “But it’s been so long. Most long distance couples would bone the first second they get a chance.”

Harry laughed at his bluntness. “I mean, I guess so, yeah. I don’t know. We talked a lot. And then we just watched a movie and went to bed.”

“You’re like an old couple.”

“I don’t mind,” he shrugged. “He said he’d come to my date night, so I have plenty of chances.”

“Yeah?” Louis asked. “That’s nice. I really hope you two have a good time.”

“You’ll be there, won’t you?” he asked, frowning in confusion.

Louis shook his head. “No one asked me.”

“I thought Dean -- didn’t he ask you yet?”

“Dean?” Louis asked, getting even more confused. That’s when he remembered Dean said he wanted to talk to him back in the hall. “Oh, _wow_. Dean wants to ask me?”

“Yeah,” Harry nodded, smiling sheepishly. “Sorry if I ruined the surprise.”

“It’s okay,” Louis replied, laughing softly. “I just -- I’m still surprised, so.”

“I think he fancies you a bit,” Harry smiled, nudging him. “He’s a _great_ guy.”

“No, I know,” Louis laughed. “I don’t know. I haven’t really thought about it. Dean isn’t really my type, but…”

“Even if he isn’t, you should give him a chance,” Harry said quickly. “You might be surprised. There’s more to people than meets the eye, right?”

“True,” Louis nodded before his eyes drifted over to Barbara and Niall, who were making out against a wall. He blinked, raising his eyebrows. “I guess Niall’s got a date, then.”

Harry followed his gaze and smiled before turning back to Louis. “They’re a thing, kinda, but they do things backwards. I think they like each other a lot, though. I have hope.”

“You would, wouldn’t you,” Louis asked. “The hopeless romantic in you lifts me up, Styles.”

Harry laughed and slung his arm around Louis. He then proceeded to steal his drink and Louis tried getting it back for approximately two minutes before he gave up.

+++

 

“So, you’re going to date night with Dean?” El asked Louis.

Louis nodded his head, popping his feet up on the banister. The two of them had left the party an hour ago and came out to their balcony to relax and talk. It was a bit chilly so they grabbed some blankets and El made them tea. “He asked me when we were about to leave and I said okay. Harry told me about it before he did. Said that he thinks that Dean fancies me.”

“I think everyone thinks that,” El said. “He looks at you really weird. Like he can’t see anything past you. Question is -- do _you_ like him?”

Louis shrugged. “I think he’s alright,” he responded eventually. “Did you see his snap story? He took a picture of me and kind of told everyone he was taking me.”

 

“That’s...a little weird,” El laughed.

Louis laughed, nodding his head in agreement. “Like, where is this all coming from? Since when does he like me so much?”

“Didn’t you kiss him?” El asked.

“A few weeks ago, yeah,” Louis nodded. “I was dancing and we were drunk. It wasn’t that big of a deal to me.”

“Well, if you don’t like him, best be honest,” El advised warningly.

Louis shrugged again. “I’ll go to date night with him, see if it’s there for us. If not, then I’ll just tell him. You’re going with Liam, right?”

El nodded. “But only as friends because I think he likes some girl in his Ethics course.”

“Should be an interesting night then,” Louis commented, sipping his tea.

+++

 

El and Louis were picked up by Dean and Liam from their flat, and they headed back to the boys’ flat to pregame with the others. When they arrived, they found them all bustling around and getting dressed, trying to tie their ties or shine their dress shoes. They were all dressed really smart and classy, wearing dress pants with crisp button ups; it was rather jarring seeing them like this after only having seen them in joggers and vests before today. However, they changed it up a bit between themselves and managed to incorporate a bit of themselves in each outfit. For example, Harry wore a patterned suit whereas Niall went simple with a navy blue shirt and skinny tie.

Ed was taking Taylor, of course, who came over and hugged El and Louis before helping Ed with his tie. She looked gorgeous in her short, navy dress that complimented her long legs. Zayn, along with several of their other frat brothers, were taking a few girls from this other sorority. Niall was there with Barbara, of course, the two of them looking like they could barely keep their hands off of each other. It seemed that Harry may have been right about Niall having a little crush if his soft expressions were anything to go by.

Louis noticed that Harry was flitting back and forth between Zayn’s bedroom and the bathroom with his phone pressed to his ear. He didn’t want to approach him and interrupt whoever he was talking to so, Louis grabbed the drink Dean handed him and talked to his date instead.

Dean was being funny and charming as usual. Louis could kind of tell at this point that Dean was into him, so just like everyone told him to, he was going to give Dean a chance. They mostly talked about their classes and some of their favorite TV shows. Dean was currently binge watching _Arrow_ and animatedly telling Louis the entire plot with spoilers. Dean also told him about his passion for drumming, which Louis found really cool, and asked Dean to teach him sometime. All in all, they were getting along fine, just like Louis knew they would considering they were friends.

After a while, Louis noticed Harry had given up on the phone call he was on and was sat on a sofa alone. Louis excused himself away from Dean and walked over to him.

“Hi,” he smiled softly as he sat beside Harry.

“Hey,” Harry said, plastering on a smile as soon as he saw Louis. His eyes didn’t twinkle quite as bright, though, so Louis didn’t buy it. “You look lovely tonight. Love the suspenders.”

“Thank you,” Louis chuckled. “You do, too. I like the bold look on you.” Louis fiddled with his lapels and Harry trailed his movements with his eyes.

“Yeah. I sorta think the whole generic colored suits are kind of boring,” he told him.

“It’s nice. Suits you.” Harry smiled at Louis appreciatively and looked down at his lap. Louis nudged him with his shoulder softly. “How are you feeling?”

Harry shrugged, slumping against the cushions. “Not so great, to tell you the truth.”

“Why’s that?”

“Xander isn’t coming tonight,” he said. “He told me all day he was getting ready to leave and then he doesn’t show up, so I call and he tells me that he didn’t even leave because he remembered he has a exam on Monday. So, he cancelled.”

Louis looked at him sympathetically and pouted. “I’m really sorry. I know you were looking forward to it. Must be disheartening.”

“I was looking forward to it,” he nodded. “It’s just shit, you know?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“And I feel guilty for feeling bad because he has a valid excuse. School is very important, especially to him. He can’t drop his things and come for a frat party when he has an exam, but still. I feel shitty.”

“It’s understandable, but you should still have fun,” Louis encouraged.

“I don’t know,” he shrugged.

“No, don’t be down,” Louis insisted. “Like, this is your date night with all of your friends. You should have fun and hang out with them. It’s okay if he isn’t here.”

“I don’t even have a date, though,” he pointed out. “Defeats the purpose of date night.”

Louis laughed. “So what? I highly doubt everyone will have a date.”

“It’s kind of the point,” Harry tacked on. “I just want to stay home now. I should study, too, and catch up on my classes.”

“Harry,” Louis said, almost whining. “Please don’t do that. I will literally dual date both you and Dean to this fucking date night if it means you’ll go. I don’t want you to stay at home and be upset. You deserve to have fun.”

He sighed, looking at Louis for a long time. They didn’t break eye contact, and eventually Harry gave him a smile and nodded. “Fine, I’ll go.”

“Good,” Louis grinned. “And you can see Xander later. He can come for another event, yeah? You still have a chance to work things out.”

Harry shrugged, biting his lip. “There comes a point when you just don’t want to try anymore. You realize that it’s a _dead end_ and there’s no reason to continue.”

Louis could only stare at Harry in confusion for a few moments before Niall rounded everyone up to leave because the limo was there. They both stood up and Dean appeared beside Louis. “We’re going to talk later,” Louis told Harry. Harry gave him a small smile before joining Zayn and the rest of the group a few feet ahead.

They all ended up splitting up between two limos. El, Liam, Zayn, Zayn’s date, Ed, Taylor, Dean and Louis all sat in one. Somehow Ed convinced the driver to plug his iPhone in the AUX cord and they blared Drake the whole way. This made Liam and Zayn so happy and the three of them couldn’t stop singing along to every song. What Louis wasn’t enjoying was how touchy Dean was being all of a sudden. He insisted on putting his hand around his waist, even though Louis wasn’t quite leaning into it. El noticed and kept making eyes at Louis.

Louis just shrugged to her every time because he had no idea what to do. When they arrived at the hall where the event was held, everyone piled out and cheered as they walked in along with their friends from the other car. The place was decked out in black and white balloons as well as gold streamers. The Theta Chi letters were put up on the big wall up front and there was a massive dance floor in the middle of the room surrounded by big, round tables.

It kind of reminded Louis of prom, which Louis hadn’t attended in favor of going to a Rihanna concert instead. Best decision of his life.

There was a dinner before the real partying got started, which was delicious. Everyone was sat together, sharing stories about their childhood or something funny that recently happened. Louis was sat between El and Dean and once dinner was done, El and Louis walked over to the drinks table with Taylor.

“Okay,” El said once they were away from their dinner table. “What’s up with Dean?”

“I don’t know,” Louis said, leaning against the table. “He’s being so touchy. Like, where did that even come from?”

“You don’t have feelings for him?” Taylor asked him.

Louis shook his head. “I’m really not feeling him. I think I’ll probably say something if he tries to take me out again. Like, I’m pretty sure at this point that I only like him as a friend. It’s just not clicking for me.”

“Oh, well if it’s not clicking,” Taylor pointed out, holding two cups of drinks, the other one most likely for Ed. “There’s no need to continue it, you know?”  

“And it’s best to do it before things get too far,” El also added. “I’m having fun with Liam, though.”

“It’s not that I’m not having fun,” Louis said to her. “I am because Dean is really cool, but there is no chemistry. However, maybe it’s not that big of a deal and I’m reading into it too much. Who knows if he really even likes me like Harry’s been saying.”

“Is Harry doing okay?” El asked after Louis mentioned him.

“He’s so sad,” Taylor pouted, looking over at Harry where he was sat quietly by himself at the dinner table. “Since Xander isn’t here, he’s just...ugh, I feel really bad.”

“Have you ever met Xander?” Louis asked her, curiously.

Taylor nodded. “A few times. He’s super nice and friendly. I just think that things are hard between them. Long distance relationships don’t work for everyone.”

“That’s true,” El nodded, thoughtfully. “We should try to cheer Harry up or something, though.”

“He seemed alright at dinner,” Louis pointed out. “I tried not to be a mother hen and stare at him all through it to make sure he was okay, but I noticed him laughing and talking.”

“Still, I’m sure that he’s upset,” Taylor said. “You can tell he’s just acting.” Which, yeah. She had a point.

“Maybe if we can get him drunk and dancing, he’ll be okay,” El suggested brightly.

“Good idea,” Taylor snorted. “I can see the frat boy in you is truly coming out after hanging out with all these boys.”

Louis laughed at the two of them and El’s suggestion. Maybe they were right, but another part of him also felt that Harry probably didn’t want attention right now. He might be embarrassed and Louis didn’t want him to feel like he was being put on the spot. He just wanted him to be smiling and happy again, but Louis knew it was easier said than done.

After he and the girls got their drinks, they walked back to their table. Instead of sitting, they were all standing around and talking now. When Dean noticed Louis walking back, he smiled and extended his hand out to call him over. Louis smiled and walked over to him where Dean once again placed his hand on Louis’ lower back. “Did I mention that you look extremely gorgeous tonight?” Dean smiled.

Louis smiled and nodded. “A few times, yes. You flatter me too much.”

“Not nearly enough,” he argued. “Are you having fun here with me?”

Louis nodded his head once again. “Yeah, good to be with friends. Glad you asked me.” He hoped Dean got the hint when Louis said _friends_ , but he didn’t let on.

“Excuse me for a second,” Dean said, finally extricating himself from Louis and heading towards the drinks. “I’ll be right back.”

Louis took the opportunity to head over to where El was standing with Niall. She was grinning while Niall looked flushed and rather down, and Louis wanted to know all about whatever was going on there. “Niall,” Louis drawled out. “Why the long face, bud?”

“I think I’m in love with my date,” he said dramatically. He had a drink in his hand and Louis was pretty sure he was drunk because he hadn’t seen Niall without one all night. Every time Louis looked over at him, he was downing drink after drink.

“What?” Louis asked, looking over at Barbara, who was dancing along to a Maroon 5 song with some of the boys. “I mean, that’s good, isn’t it? She’s your date.”

“Is it good, though? Guys -- I don’t want to just bang her anymore,” he said, half slurring and throwing a hand up, exasperatedly. “I want to do more, like, talk to her about her day and take her on dates. Jesus, listen to me. Who have I become now? I don’t know.”

El laughed out loud, throwing her head back while Louis tried to supress his own smile. “Niall, come on, man.”

Niall looked at them solemnly before saying, “I’ve been ruined. Barbara’s ruined me.”

“Oh my god,” Louis muttered while El continued to laugh hysterically.

“It’s true,” Niall said with wide eyes, continuing. “She ruined me. Ever since I met her and laid my eyes on her in that Philosophy course back in sophomore year, I can’t look or think about another girl. How can I? She’s _it_.”

“Niall,” El wheezed out. “Please just go dance with her. You don’t want to stand here and have an existential crisis over her while she’s right there. You’ll ruin her night.”

“She speaks the truth,” Liam said, appearing beside El before turning to her. “How about you and I go dance?”

“I’d love to, Liam,” El smiled, taking his hand and walking to the dance floor. Louis stood there with Niall as he looked over at his date.

Niall shrugged, squaring his shoulders and puffing out his chest. “Here goes nothing.”

Louis giggled and watched him walk over to her and whisper something in her ear. It didn’t take long for both of their mouths to be attached, going at it like a couple of animals. Modern romance, ladies and gentleman. What made it better was that the DJ chose that moment to start playing “Trap Queen” by Fetty Wap. Louis could hear Ed rapping it somewhere and he laughed to himself some more.

Dean came back to him then and once again put his hand on Louis’ waist as he held his own drink. “Want to dance?” he asked.

“Sure,” Louis nodded. He followed Dean to the dance floor and joined their friends. They danced together for a few songs before El came around and made it into a group thing with her and Liam. After some time, Taylor and Ed came over to dance with everyone even though Ed couldn’t dance for shit, really.

Taylor moved over to Louis, swaying her hips along with his. “Tried cheering up Harry,” she said into his ear.

“How’d that go?” he asked.

She shrugged. “Alright for a while, but then he made some excuse and left.”

“You don’t know where he is?” Louis asked, his brows creasing.

She shook her head. Louis hummed in response and continued to dance with his friends. When they all got tired, they retired back to their table with drinks and sat around chatting until they were thoroughly drunk and ready to head home. When the limos dropped off Louis and a very sleepy El, Dean kissed him, chaste and quick, as a goodbye. The two roommates then somehow managed to get into their flat and respective beds.

The last thought Louis had before drifting off to sleep was that Harry hadn’t shown up for the rest of the night.

 

+++

 

Louis pulled on a pair of trackies, a jumper and a beanie over his hair before walking downstairs with his phone and wallet. Harry was sat outside his building already, a small smile on his lips when he saw Louis. Louis waved at him before getting into the passenger seat and buckling up.

“How are you?” Harry asked.

“Good,” Louis nodded, smiling at him as he started the car and drove towards their usual spot. It was a bit earlier than they would normally go out, so Louis figured Harry probably just wanted to talk about something.

“How’s your hangover?” Harry laughed, looking at Louis.

He chuckled. “It’s alright,” he said. “I didn’t drink that much, so it was okay. Not like Niall had.”

“Oh god,” Harry groaned, a grin on his face. “He was so annoying to deal with. Cried this morning while puking, did you know?”

“No,” Louis shook his head, laughing. “Poor kid. Did you know he, like, completely outed himself last night? He was going on and on about Barbara. He really likes her. Or said that he loves her.”

“Niall loves Barbara?” Harry asked. “Amazing.”

Louis hummed in response and looked out the window as they arrived to the coffee shop. Harry parked the car at their usual spot and he got out, stretching his limbs. The coffee shop wasn’t that crowded tonight, just one or two people in sofa seats revising.  

“The usual?” Harry asked Louis.

Louis nodded his head and Harry went inside with his hands in his pocket and head hung low. Louis wondered what it could be that was wrong, although he had a hunch after the events that transpired last night. The things Harry had said before they left for the party repeated over in Louis’ head and he wondered if Harry was still thinking something along those terms -- dead ends and finding no reason to try anymore. Whatever it may be, he knew he was going to find out soon because he could tell Harry was wanting to let some things off his chest.

All in all, though, Louis just felt bad, really.

Harry didn’t deserve what happened last night. He was a good person who deserved to always be happy and smiling because he brought joy to his friends and had a smile that could brighten up any room. It was then that Louis realized how fond he’d become of Harry. After spending weeks of time together, Louis could only assume he’d care about Harry, but not to to this extent. Harry just had that effect even on everyone. He was just such a good person that he made it hard for anyone to dislike him. Everything about him was genuine, which was why Louis really didn't want him to be so sad.

When Harry walked back out with two cups of coffee in his hand, Louis smiled and took his own appreciatively. “Thank you,” he murmured.

“No problem,” Harry replied, sitting down beside him. It was quiet for a bit as they sat and blew on their hot coffees. The weather was getting chillier, but they had cozy jumpers and beanies on their heads. It also helped that their body heat was radiating between them, making it nice and warm for them.

“You left early last night,” Louis started.

Harry hummed and nodded his head. “I wasn’t feeling that great.”

“I figured.”

“Had a chat with Xander, though,” Harry added.

Louis nodded his head in acknowledgement, trying to stay hopeful. “What did you talk about?”

“A lot of things,” Harry told him, voice hollow. “We talked all night.” Louis could feel it coming in his gut before Harry even said it. “We broke up.”

Louis pursed his lips and was unsure of what to say next. Harry had grown quiet beside him, and it was just the sound of their breaths and the wind whistling around them as people walked in out of the coffee shop. Louis slowly lifted his hand up and rested it on Harry’s shoulder, giving it a gentle rub.

“You alright?” he asked him when Harry leaned into the touch.

“Not really,” Harry replied, honestly. “But I will be.”

“That’s a good way to think about it,” Louis said gently.

Harry nodded. “We--just knew that this was what needed to happen. Like, we were probably meant to break up a long time ago, but we were ignoring the inevitable. Last night, I finally realized that and I left early to call him and we just talked. Everything came out in the open. I felt a lot better, really. It just wasn’t working. Remember how I said that there comes a point when you just don’t want to try anymore?”

“Yeah,” Louis replied.

“Well, we didn’t want to. We couldn’t be there for each other anymore and that’s what a relationship is all about. Neither of us were trying and hadn’t been for awhile, unfortunately.”

“Well, I mean long distance is hard,” Louis said. “Not everyone can do it.”

“I know,” Harry hummed. “We tried and that’s what matters. Nobody is the bad guy, I know that. And I don’t regret a thing. He’s a great person and I’m glad we got the time that we did.”

“So, you think you’ll be fine?” Louis asked him.

Harry smiled softly, turning to Louis. “I think so, yeah. I think that it’ll take a bit of time considering I was with him for so long, but I’ll get through it.”

“I know you will,” Louis smiled back, rubbing Harry’s back. “The way you’re handling it is very mature and it’s understandable to be upset and to miss him. You’ll be okay, though. You’re really strong.”

“Thank you,” Harry nodded. Louis leaned in to give him a hug. Harry accepted it graciously and turned his face into Louis’ hair, speaking softly. “Thank you for being here for me and for talking to me about all this.”

Louis chuckled. “That’s what friends are for, yeah? I’m glad you trust me and you feel comfortable enough to tell me all this.”

They both pulled away and Louis sat back again, sipping his coffee, while Harry did the same. Once they were done, they trashed their cups and Louis looked at him. “What now?” he asked.

Harry smiled, shrugging. “Do you have to be home soon?”

Louis shook his head. “Revision can wait another day. You’re priority right now. I can be with you as long as you need me to.”

Harry grinned shyly at that and opened his car, gesturing for Louis to get in as well. “Do you want to go on a drive? I just wanna drive for a really long time. Don’t even care if we get lost a little, I just want to see someplace new.”

“Sounds like a proper adventure,” Louis laughed. “I’m in.”

“Yeah,” Harry nodded. “I’ll pop in my favorite playlist, too.”

So, they did. Harry drove and drove and they went places they’d never been before. It was nice, though. It was nice listening to some good music, seeing pretty places and being with a friend when they needed you the most. Louis didn’t mind when it was with Harry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next update will be on sunday!  
> [tumblr](http://quitefinishedlarry.tumblr.com/) / [fic page](http://quitefinishedlarry.tumblr.com/yail) / [chapter post](http://quitefinishedlarry.tumblr.com/post/135406835780/fic-you-are-in-love-author-wildestdreams)


	5. the one where it's exactly what it looks like

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> once again thanks to [mac](http://realitybetterthanfiction.tumblr.com/) for betaing. these chapters wouldn't come together without her! and thanks to everyone who's reading, reccing, commenting. i love that you're all enjoying it as much as i enjoyed writing it! this chapter is mostly just seeing harry/louis get closer. they talk a lot about their past/present/future. they find something other than coffee runs that become _theirs_ and it's just a really cute ch! i hope you guys like it. some details such as some of the things louis talks about comes from a personal place. he talks about his last breakup, which i had written to mirror my last breakup and i loved doing that. writing about personal things can be really therapeutic. so, yes. thanks so much! enjoy :)

“Do you have regrets?” Harry asked Louis one night, lying down on the hood of his car and staring up at the night sky. He had his hands shoved in his pockets, little curls peeking out from beneath his dark green beanie.

Louis hummed and thought about it, while sinking half his face into his scarf from the cold. “I think so, yeah. Although, I feel weird about them because you know how they say you shouldn’t have regrets?”

“Yeah,” Harry nodded. “They say that you shouldn’t have any because at some point that was exactly what you wanted.”

“I don’t really like that saying,” Louis told him. “Like, okay yeah, maybe I did want that thing at some point, but the thing is, I only wanted it when I didn’t know what would happen later on. Like, what the outcome would have been or how negatively it impacted my life.”

“What do you mean?” he asked, frowning at Louis.

“I just think that that quote is bullshit. I regret stuff. I regret a lot about my past, like boys I’ve liked and trusted and the way I felt about myself,” Louis said. “I regret them, but I won’t deny they were learning experiences.”

“The boys you’ve liked meaning the ones you told me about before?” Harry questioned.

Louis nodded. “Like, they treated me badly and it was stupid of me to waste all that time liking them when in the end it just led to me getting hurt. I trusted them too easily and I’d believe whatever they said. It was very naive of me. Now, when I look back I regret it and it’s so embarrassing.”

“I think a lot of people feel that way because we make mistakes as we’re growing up. Especially when it comes to love and how we react to other people.”

“Probably. Like, everyone has probably liked one person in their life who they think about now and just cringe, you know?”

Harry laughed. “Yeah, mine would probably be Diane.”

“Who is Diane?” Louis asked him curiously, smiling.

“My mum’s friend,” he replied, laughing harder. Louis made a short, yelping noise and started laughing with him. Harry’s face was turning red as he shoved Louis, playfully.

“What do you mean your mum’s friend?”

“When I was thirteen, I thought my mum’s friend, Diane, was fit. Oh my god.” He was wheezing, not able to finish his sentence. “It was the creepiest thing ever. Gemma was the first one to find out because I wrote about it in my journal. She actually went and told them and Diane made it so awkward, mum stopped inviting her over.”

“You had a journal?” Louis asked him, laughing even harder.

“Fuck off, they were good for me because I could write my thoughts in it.”

“More like your wet dreams and dirty fantasies about your _mum’s friend_. Honestly, Harry.”

“I cringe when I think about it now,” he cried. “Like, I think I mostly liked her because she was so nice to me and I was always such a geek. Like, no one my age liked me back then. And Diane was nice. Too bad she stopped coming around. I couldn’t face my mum for a few days, though.”

Louis continued to laugh, clutching his stomach and after a while Harry just pouted. Louis tried to calm himself down and looked at Harry with a calm expression. “Okay, I have no room to laugh, I was just as embarrassing when I was younger. I lied to you about something.”

“What did you lie about?”

“Remember when I told you that I had my first kiss when I was four, but you said it didn’t count and then I told you about when my next kiss was?”

“Yeah,” Harry said.

“I lied because I kissed another girl when I was seven,” Louis shrugged.

Harry stared at Louis for a long time with a gaping expression until he said, “What kind of a child were you? Like, what were you doing, because it sure as hell wasn’t taking naps and playing with legos?”

Louis laughed and covered his face. Harry laughed beside him and they both quieted down after a while. Louis realized then that their bodies were pressed against each other. Shoulder to shoulder, thighs to thighs. He didn’t even notice it had happened, nor did he notice that they were leaning towards each other. It was comforting, almost like a semi cuddle.

“Hey Louis,” Harry said, softly.

“Yeah?” he turned to him.

“When you were telling me about things you regret, you mentioned that you regret the way you felt about yourself. What did you mean by that?”

Louis chuckled, nervously, because he didn’t usually like telling this story to everyone. It wasn’t a story, more like an ugly part of his past. However, he knew that it was something that he no longer felt weighed down by. He could talk about it in a new light.

“When I was younger,” Louis started. “I had extremely low self-esteem. I was self conscious about how I looked and I had depression for a while as well. Sometimes, I still do. Like, it’s seasonal. Whenever winter comes around, I go through bouts of low, low days.”

“I never knew that,” Harry said, extremely quiet and soft.

“Not a lot of my friends do, but it’s something that I’ve overcome and it’s not a big part of my life anymore.”

“Why were you self conscious?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” Louis laughed softly. “Like, everyone has things about themselves that they wish they could change. Certain features or a little bit of weight. I don’t know. It just got worse for me than it usually is for some people. I really hated myself for how I was and it took a toll on me.”

“That’s not good,” Harry said. He looked so soft beside Louis, his eyes full of sadness. “Like, Louis. Do you know how amazing you are? It’s literally breaking my heart to hear you say stuff like this even though I didn’t know you back then.”

Louis laughed and put his hand over Harry’s, which was now lying on his thigh. “You don’t have to feel bad. I’m fine now. I really am. I’ve overcome everything over the past two or three years. Since my last break up actually, I went through a really rough time and then this one night I just snapped out of it. It completely changed me.”

“What do you mean?” Harry asked. “What happened during your last break up?”

“One story at a time, Styles,” Louis said, chuckling. “Point is, I worked on myself and the things that I was self conscious about. I realized that being upset all the time was getting me nowhere and I had to do something in order to change that. Being happy is a choice, how you react to negativity is a choice. I accepted the things I couldn’t change, like certain chubby parts on my body and my nose, two of which I’ve always sort of hated. And I realized that I’m a good person who has a great heart and I deserve to love myself and want great things.”

“You do and you are!” Harry cried, enthusiastically, making him laugh. “Please don’t ever think otherwise.”

“I’m not,” Louis reassured him. “I know your first instinct is to feel bad for me and tell me all these things, but what I used to feel and think isn’t something that anyone can kiss away, or a bruise that they can just bandage up. It’s something that I had to live with and I’m moving on from. I used to wait for someone to _save me_ until I realized that what I need is for my loved ones to be there for me while I saved myself, which they did and still do.”

Harry was quiet for a few moments, letting what Louis said sink in. He did this weird, cute pouty lip thing as though he was thinking quite hard. “I never thought about it like that,” he said. “But, it actually makes sense.”

“Yeah,” Louis said. “Like, the first thing I learned was that I can’t rely on others to save me or make me happy and push my troubles away. It was going to have to be from me otherwise I was not going to ever be okay. You can’t depend on others like that. It was hard, but I read this quote once that really helped me.”

“What quote?”

“I don’t remember it word for word, but I remember, like, what the overall idea was. When I would get really down, I’d become lethargic. Wouldn’t want to leave my bed or do anything. Just wanted to sit in my room, alone with my music. Super angsty and what not. So, one day I was online and I read a quote, which said to get out of bed, make a hot drink and go outside. It said that I owed myself at least that much and that it’s something that will take time, that I’ll still want to cry from time to time, but those times will lessen as time goes by. I was reminded that I have dreams and goals that I have to achieve--that life is too short to be in bed, pitying myself rather than going out there and doing things that make me happy. I wanted to start everyday with a smile. An if something ruined it halfway through, then I was going to give myself a minute to breathe knowing I’ll be fine once again because every minute, every day is new and it’s up to us to make the most of it.

“There will be times when things will crash and burn, because shit happens, but I have to always remember that hope is a good thing. I can cling on to that and not let go. With hope, I can start my life again and again whenever I need to because it’s not the end yet.”  

Harry smiled at Louis, putting an arm around him, until we were _definitely_ cuddling. “I like that. A lot actually.”

“I did too,” Louis said to him, letting his senses be filled with Harry’s smell. It was distinct and reminded him of nights just like this when the cold drove them to get closer and closer to each other. “But, I look back now and I do regret spending so much time just being sad and making the wrong choices. I always was so dramatic.”

“Dramatic?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Louis replied. “I was a very dramatic teenager. I think that’s why I never had an in between or a grey area. I either fall in love very hard or I don’t like someone at all. I either don’t sleep or I sleep for ages. It’s in my nature, I think, to just be completely passionate about things.”

“It’s good, I think, to be passionate about things. You’re never half assed about the things you feel or do then. Seriously, though, I’m just glad that you helped yourself and overcame these things that you were feeling because a lot of people resort to super drastic things, like, suicide.”

“There were times when I thought about it,” Louis admitted to him, making Harry’s fingers clench around his jumper in means of holding him in place. “Only when I just felt really hopeless about things all at once. But, I just thought that this couldn’t be it. My life wasn’t just going to end here. Right? There was so much more I wanted to do. If you want to kill yourself, kill the person you have become and start new. Life keeps going and doesn’t stop for anybody. It’s always changing, so you have to just hope for the best.”

Harry was simply staring at him, so when Louis turned and couldn’t help but smile, he shoved him lightly. “What?” Louis asked.

“You’re just really fucking strong and I wanna hug you, okay?” he said to Louis before pulling him further into his chest and hugging him. Louis laughed, pretending to hate it as he pulled away.

“God, don’t be like that. I’m fine now. I’m very happy. I hardly ever think about that time of my life.”

“You shouldn’t,” Harry said, looking at him seriously. “Always smile. I want to always see you smile.”

Louis grinned at him obnoxiously and Harry chuckled, still holding on to him. Harry added, “Oh and by the way, I don’t know why you were ever self conscious about anything about yourself. You’re so pretty and handsome and gorgeous. Your eyes are amazing, Lou. Never seen eyes like yours, so blue.”

Louis couldn’t reply because he was starting to blush and his stomach felt a little funny. So he laughed and looked up at the sky. Harry did the same and they let the silence take over.

Something hit Louis right then. Having this conversation with Harry was a bit eye opening in terms of how much of himself he exposed to him. Like he said, he didn’t usually tell people these things about himself. Harry and him had been talking for a few weeks and with each time they met, they opened up more and more. Not just on Louis’ end, but on Harry’s, too. They were honest with each other about how they felt, their insecurities, their past. Louis felt comfortable with him, which was rare for him personally. He felt like Harry could understand the things Louis told him and the more they spoke, the more Louis realized why.

They were similar, was the thing. They had similar dreams and they were both determined to get there. The same things excited them and the same things concerned them. Looking at Harry, sitting next to Louis in the dead of the night outside of a coffee shop, Louis knew that he had come face to face with someone who was going to change his life. It was rare to meet people and just know that they would have some sort of impact in your life. His personality was fascinating to Louis and if he allowed, it could absorb him.

+++

Louis texted Harry two days later to let him know that he couldn’t go out for coffee on account of him catching the worst cold, like, ever.

Louis figured he could lay in his bed, watch Netflix and drink lots of tea on his own so he wouldn’t feel too bad about not being able to go out. However, he was pretty bummed. He really wanted to go out and see Harry even though he saw him everyday at uni. He still looked forward to their nightly visits because it was fun and it was their _thing_. It occurred to Louis then how essential Harry had become to him.

Harry didn’t respond back to Louis’ text and he wondered what he was up to. He didn’t find out until late that night when the doorbell rang. El and Louis were both quiet for a moment until it rang again. “Did you invite someone over?” she asked from her room.

“No,” Louis croaked, throat hoarse from coughing. “Go open it.”

He could hear her groan as she got up and opened the door. “What are you doing here?” he heard her ask.

“Nice to see you, too, El,” Harry chuckled. Harry? Louis lifted his body up from the blanket cocoon he made and peered out his open door to see Harry walk in and grin at him. “I brought soup.”

“Harry,” Louis could only say, laughing. “You brought soup for me?”

“Of course,” he said, opening the bag on his dresser and taking out the container and a plastic spoon. El stood at Louis’ doorway, assessing the two of them with her arms crossed over her chest. “When you told me you had a cold, I just, I don’t know. I still wanted to see you. So, I figured we could have our hang out here instead of outside. And instead of coffee, you could have this soup I made.”

Louis had an ear splitting grin on his face and El gave Harry a smile and wink before walking back into her bedroom. Louis didn’t get a chance to react or think of it because Harry turned to him and handed him the bowl and spoon. “It smells really good,” Louis said. “Thank you. And I’m glad you’re here, by the way. I really wanted to see you. I was feeling bad that I couldn’t make it.”

“Me too,” Harry grinned, sitting beside him on the bed. “It’s why I came. Felt weird not seeing you.”

So, he felt the same way. Interesting. Louis bit his lip and tried to not read too much into it, instead blowing on a spoonful of soup. He sipped it and instantly felt himself get warmer inside in a good way. “Thank you, once again,” Louis said, turning to Harry, only to find him watching him with a smile.

“Glad you like it,” he said. “It’s my mum’s recipe.”

“Mummy Styles knows what she’s doing.”

“Yeah,” he trailed off. “What were your plans for tonight?”

“Netflix,” Louis told him. “Do you want to watch something?”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “What’s there to watch?”

They scanned the list of TV shows and movies, trying to find the perfect thing to watch. “Oh, how about _How I Met Your Mother_?” Louis asked. “I’ve been meaning to watch it, but I want to binge watch and haven’t found time.”

“I’ve never seen it either, but some of the boys are mad about it,” Harry said. “Put it on.”

Louis clicked play on season one, episode one and leaned back against his pillows as Harry got comfortable, too. He toed off his shoes and got under the covers, leaving space in the middle so that they could balance Louis’ laptop between them.

They got through half of season one, when Louis started to doze off. When he woke up after that, he found Harry curled up on the other side of the bed, the laptop in between them. Louis rubbed his eye and slowly sat up, moving the laptop and putting it on his side table.

This had never happened. Harry had never just slept over, which wasn’t a big deal because it wasn’t like shit happened, but Louis didn’t know what happened after. What did he do now? He settled for just nudging Harry until he woke up, looking groggy and tired. “What time is it?” he yawned, looking at Louis.

“I have no idea,” Louis told him. “But the sun is up, that’s for sure.”

“I’m sorry I fell asleep,” he said. “It was way too comfortable.” Louis laughed and Harry grinned at him before lying back down and stretching. “The show was good.”

“I liked it, too,” Louis said. “It was funny.”

“We should continue to watch it,” he said. “Maybe tomorrow night or something.”

“Okay. I’m down for that.”

Just then, El opened Louis’ door and stepped inside, her eyes widening when she spotted the two of them. She laughed nervously and Harry grinned at her, cheekily with a wave. “Hey El,” he said. “I just want to say that this is exactly what it looks like.”

“What?” she asked.

“Oh my god,” Louis laughed.

“We had a great night together,” Harry replied, swinging an arm around Louis, making him fall over on his lap.

El rolled her eyes. “Quit taking the piss, H,” she said to him. “Anyways, I came to say that I’m making breakfast so get your arses in the kitchen if you want any.”

“Got you, babes,” Harry replied, sitting up and straightening his shirt. She rolled her eyes again and walked out. Harry turned to Louis and smiled. “Next time this happens, let’s make sex noises and jump on the bed and stuff so we freak her out.”

Louis laughed and fell back on his bed until Harry pulled him up with him and they walked to the kitchen for breakfast.

+++

 

 

Louis picked at his salad that he had stuffed with extra croutons and extra meat with extra cheese. He had made the mistake of eating all the good stuff first, so he was just left with the leaves, which were starting to leave a vile taste in his mouth. He had no idea why he chose to eat healthy today -- oh wait, it was because of fucking Harry.

“It’ll be good,” he had cooed into Louis’ ear, tugging him over to the salad line telling him how healthy he’d feel after eating.

What a bloody mistake that was.

Louis looked over at Niall, Liam, Zayn, and Ed, eating their Whopper’s from Burger King. He’d rather have that. El was having bloody pizza beside him while Taylor chose some soup. Harry was the only one out of the boys who ate balanced, healthy meals, allowing himself very few cheat meals. He told Louis it was just something his mother always taught and now that his body was accustomed to having good food, if he ate unhealthy, it made him get stomach aches.

When Louis looked over at Harry’s container, he noticed he was done with his salad, and he smiled at Louis, looking down at his half empty one.

“You alright?” Harry asked.

“I hate salad,” Louis told him.

“Shoulda gotten a burger,” Niall quipped.

“Fuck off, Niall,” Louis muttered. “I was trying to make a good decision and be an adult.”

“What’s eating salad got to do with being an adult?” Niall asked, making a face at him.

“It’s healthy and responsible.”

“It’s rabbit food.”

“Tell that to Harry.”

“It wasn’t that bad,” Harry interjected. “You filled it with all that meat and cheese and bread.”

“I know,” Louis replied, laughing. “Those were gone within the first five minutes.”

Harry laughed with him and grabbed his fork, taking some of his salad and putting it in his mouth. Louis slyly passed the container to him and Harry dug in, finishing the rest up for Louis.

“So, Louis,” Zayn started to say.

“Yes, Zayn?”

“You and Dean.”

Louis pursed his lips and nodded. “What about us?”

“What is the deal?” Zayn asked. Every eye was on him as they all awaited the answer. Louis laughed nervously.

“I know you all won’t believe me if I say nothing, but literally, _nothing_. I don’t have feelings for him.”

“Wow,” they all said together, their voices overlapping as some of them, like Niall, claimed to have known while others, like Harry, were shocked.

“I know that he has feelings for me,” Louis said, talking over them. “It’s just that I don’t think we click like that. We’re better as friends.”

“Have _you_ told him that?” Zayn asked, a smirk on his face.

Louis shook his head. “Not yet, but I think I’m done accepting dances at parties and invitations to date night as his date from here on out. It was rather awkward after a while.”

“He kissed you when we dropped you off,” Liam _giggled_.

“It wasn’t the first time we kissed,” Louis shrugged. “I just have to stop leading him on. It’s so wrong.”

“Poor Dean,” Harry said, sadly.

“He’ll get over it, Haz,” Niall consoled him, patting him on the back. He then turned to El and grinned. “What about you, El?”

“What about me?” she asked.

“We know little to nothing about your dating life.”

“I’m not dating anyone,” she replied with a straight face.

Niall cackled. “I know, but who’ve you dated, what’ve you done, who’ve you done?”

“Niall,” Louis frowned. “That’s so intrusive.”

“We’re all friends here,” he argued. “I’m only curious because El is fucking fit, so it’s shocking to see her not out and about doing stuff.”

“She hooked up with that one guy whose name she doesn’t remember at that party weeks ago,” Louis said.

“You will just not let that go,” El groaned, covering her face. She quickly recovered and met Niall’s curious eyes. The other boys were listening in as well, while Taylor pretended to be busy with her soup, but Louis knew she wanted to know, too. El shrugged. “I’ve never really had a boyfriend. Not one that counts anyway.”

“Why the hell not?” Liam asked. “Like Niall said, you’re well fit.”

“Thank you,” she smiled. “But I don’t know. I think my problem is that boys like me, but I don’t like them back. And then when I like boys, I either shy away or they’re way too out of my league.”

“No one is too out of your league, El,” Louis told her. “You’re sexy.”

“Sadly, no matter how sexy you guys all say I am, life isn’t always fair and not everyone will like you,” she said. “Although, as most of you know, I’m a bit of a romantic. I’m waiting for the one.”

“A _bit_ of a romantic?” Louis scoffed. “You’re always watching romantic comedies and crying.”

“I like a good cry during movies,” she cried. “It’s comforting.”

“You cry even when it’s not a crying scene,” Louis laughed. “Like when we watched _Stuck in Love_ that one time. You were sobbing like a baby.”

“You know who cries during movies?” Zayn asked, smirking.

Harry was scowling at him, so Louis could only guess as the entire table started laughing. “I’m with El here,” Harry pouted. “A good cry during a movie never hurt nobody.”

“You didn’t cry over your breakup as much as you cried during _Titanic_ , despite having watched it fifty times,” Niall snorted.

A silence took over the table as Niall’s words sunk in. No one had really brought up Harry’s break up. Louis would occasionally ask, but he seemed less than reluctant to talk about it. He would assume the same went for the boys. Harry had a small, uncomfortable smile on his face as he played with the remaining few lettuce leaves and tomatoes in his lunch and shrugged.

“How’s that going, by the way?” Ed asked delicately, finally breaking the silence. “Have you spoken to him?”

Harry shook his head. “Not really. He said it was best if we didn’t talk for a while.”

“He’s right, you know,” Zayn said.

Harry nodded. “Yeah, I know.” He looked up at everyone after. “Can we change the topic, though? I really don’t wanna talk about it.”

“Of course,” Ed replied, quickly.

“Let’s talk about Niall’s crush,” El clapped, grinning. Everyone started to laugh, including Niall. “How’s that going?”

“Alright,” Niall answered. “We text here and there.”

“That’s all?” Liam asked. “What -- are you taking it slow?”

“Something like that,” Niall replied. “Maybe I’ll ask her on a date, but she keeps telling me she doesn’t put out on the first date.”

Harry sighed, rubbing his eyes. “Niall, she already put out for you. Plenty of times.”

Niall looked blankly at him for a moment before realizing Harry was right and he grinned, going back to his food.

+++

Frisbee club was a bit of a mess. The president was a chilled out, laid back, pothead who thought life was best lived without rules and regulations. All he cared about was relaxing and having a good time. That was why meetings occurred every once in awhile and all that they were asked to do was chill out and play with some Frisbees. Of course, Louis knew this wasn’t some serious sport as it was. It was nice, like a de-stresser. He grabbed a rainbow Frisbee and looked around amongst his friends to ask one of them to play with him.

Louis saw Niall was playing with Ed, Taylor, Liam and El in a group. Zayn was sitting with the president talking about how many ounces of weed he wants to buy off of him for the next party. That left Louis with Harry, who was sitting on the grass, taking pictures of the sky to instagram.

“Get up,” Louis said walking over to him. “Play Frisbee with me.”

Harry grinned, chuckling as he got up and pocketed his phone. “Did everyone else ditch you?”

“A little bit, yeah,” Louis said. “I could have joined them, but this rainbow Frisbee was speaking to me.”

“It’s nice,” Harry said, appreciatively. The two of them threw the Frisbee back and forth between them, laughing and having fun, until they got tired and just ended up sitting down and watching the others play. It was quite funny because El in particular was quite awful, getting hit more with the frisbee rather than catching or throwing it. Ed, who had joined Louis and Harry after a while, was laughing with Louis about El when Harry spoke up, causing the two of them to get super quiet.

“I miss him,” Harry said.

Ed turned to Harry slowly. “Xander?”

“Yeah.”

Louis scratched his arms and rubbed them, trying to do something other than sit there awkwardly, because he had no idea what to say.

“It’s understandable, mate,” Ed said. “He was your boyfriend for a long time. You’re obviously going to miss him, yeah? Like, I get it.”

“I miss him all the time,” he answered softly.

Louis couldn’t describe how awful he felt for Harry. He had no idea how to comfort him without cracking a bad joke or hugging him because that’s all he could think of doing. He wanted Harry to laugh or feel like he had somewhere to turn to when he was feeling so broken. It was just a really crappy situation. Louis felt helpless. He was, however, grateful that Ed was there and was talking to him. Bros understood other bros. Louis used to think he was a bro, but clearly he had not reached that level of bro pep talk when one of them was going through a breakup because he knew fuck all what to say to Harry.

“It is what it is,” Ed continued. “You’ve got to make yourself busy and keep your mind off of him. Focus on studies or other people, like your friends.”

“I really want to call him,” Harry said. “I think I’m going to text him or give him a call tonight.”

“No,” Ed shook his head. “Harry, you can’t. He wanted space. You can’t text or call him and make yourself look like an idiot.”

“How am I looking like an idiot?” Harry frowned. “I was with him for years and now I have to think twice before I text him?”

“You texted him two days ago,” Ed reminded him. And oh, well, Louis didn’t know that. “Did he reply?”

Harry’s response was delayed, but it was stiff. “No.”

“Exactly,” Ed said. “Don’t let yourself go backwards, H. You’ve got to move forward, remember?”

“Yeah,” Harry said softly. “You’re right.”

Louis watched as Ed put his arm around Harry and Harry cuddled up to him. He smiled at them until he heard El scream. Louis quickly turned back around to see her clutching her eye, on the ground, screaming.

El walked out of that meeting with two bruises on her face and an ice pack.

 

+++

 

“Do you remember,” Harry said as he sipped his coffee, “that time you told me that life throws a lot of curveballs and completely changes the course of your life?”

“I do recall saying something of the sort,” Louis nodded, letting the steam from his coffee warm his face up.

“You were right,” Harry concluded.

Louis laughed. “Of course I’m right. I’m _always_ right.”

“No, really,” Harry said, seriously. “I’ve been thinking a lot about my breakup. Like, weirdly enough, a part of me always thought I was going to end up married to Xander someday. And now that I’m looking at everything, that’s not what I want at all.”

“Really?” Louis asked, frowning. “What made you change your mind, other than the breakup I mean?”

“It’s not about changing my mind,” Harry said. “I just realized that it wasn’t going to work. Xander is going one way and I’m going the other. It’s so strange, but I’m doubting everything we had, even the fact of whether we loved each or not. Is that bad? Like, this could be considered growth, I guess, and I’m actually thinking it was good that it happened. How horrible am I?”

Louis shrugged. “I can’t say, but you’re not horrible,” he told him. “I guess you’re stepping out of your shoes and looking at the situation from a different point of view. That’s completely fine. I did it, too, during my last break up.”

Harry chuckled and looked at him. “Will you ever tell me what happened during your last break up?”

“Nope.”

“Why not?”

“It’s cringe.”

“Fine, then I’m mad at you.”

Louis looked back at him and found that he was genuinely frowning and looking upset. “Harry,” he started to say. “It’s such a...stupid topic. I hate talking about it.”

“You didn’t want to tell me about your past depression, but you still did, and I really liked listening to what you had to say. I liked hearing about how you got better. I like hearing about you in general.”

“I know, but that’s different.”

“You know, it’s unfair, because I open up to you for a reason. I tell you everything about myself and I like it because you have great things to say and it lifts up my mood. But when it comes time for you to say something about yourself, you just shut down. How’s that fair?”

Louis sighed, feeling a little guilty. “Like, you just _have_ to hear about this?” he asked.

Harry nodded and Louis sighed again, which made Harry playfully shove him with his shoulder and Louis laughed.

“It’s quite cringe when I think about it now, not going to lie. Basically, this guy really liked me back in sixth form. He was a friend, though, and I never thought of him as anything more. However, at the time I was also trying to get over this other guy, so I thought hey, why don’t I go out with my friend who obviously likes me and try to forget the other guy? Little did I know, you should never do that.”

“Don’t use other people, especially your friends, to forget your ex,” Harry said, tutting.

“I know, I know,” Louis nodded, guiltily. “Anyways, we went out for a few months. Two to three months in we’re saying I love you to each other and what not and then we just argued all the time. Every day was a new argument. And he broke up with me and I was so upset, I actually had a breakdown and went into hiding. It was a really tough time in my life.”

Harry was looking at Louis with wide, earnest eyes, which made him stop talking and start laughing. Harry blinked and put his arm around him. “I’m starting to question why I want to hear these stories about you when all it does is make me wanna time travel to the past and give you a giant snuggle.”

“You asked for it, pal,” Louis said, smiling up at Harry. “Should I continue or will your little heart not be able to take any more?”

“I can take it,” he said. “I want to hear all about how you came out of this stronger and better.”

Louis smiled. “I did. I snapped out of my depressed state and I realized how shitty he was. I actually realized then how shitty _all_ these guys I liked were. They didn’t treat me well. They would make fun of everything I liked, from my music interests to the things I was most passionate about. Especially my last ex. He would be so mean about it. He would talk down to me, he would play his video games and not text me back. Oh -- and get this. He only took me on one proper date.”

“No,” Harry shook his head. “You’re joking.”

“I wish. We went for pizza and he paid, otherwise we never did stuff like that,” Louis told him. “And I just kept trying despite that. I would always make the effort to go meet him because otherwise we’d end up having arguments on the phone from lack of communication. He would also _never_ show up on time. I sat inside a deli for two hours once before he showed up because he was busy sleeping. Oh and this will be your favorite part.”

“What?” Harry asked.

“He broke up with me via text.”

Harry thumped the hood of his car with his fist and groaned, throwing his head back. “What an absolute, motherfucking, load of crap wanker. You have got to be kidding me.”

“I’m not,” Louis shook his head. “He broke up with me over text message on St. Patty’s Day.”

“He’s a shithead fucker,” Harry said.

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard you cuss this much,” Louis said to him with an amused smile.

“Louis, _why_ did you date him?”

“I was young and stupid!”

“I can’t believe him,” Harry said, still shaking his head, staring up at the sky. Louis laughed softly and played with the hem of his jumper. Harry looked back down at him again and smiled softly. “You deserve so much better.”

“I know that now,” Louis said, smiling back.

“You’re going to find someone who will know every single detail about you from your birthday to where you were born and your star sign. He will know how old you were when you learned how to ride a bike and how many pets you had or whether you had any pets at all. He’ll know you inside out, from your scars to your birthmarks, to how you look when you’re angry and when you’re the happiest. He will know and respect and love your favorite movies, songs, food, clothes, everything. He’s going to know what keeps you up at night, and what’s on your mind, and what your biggest fear is.

“He will be there through your hardest times, he will know exactly what to say and he will hold your hand through it. He’s going to know your dreams and wishes and help you fulfill them. He’s going to know about your first heartbreak and he will promise that he will never do the same. He’s going to know how you take your coffee, and what makes you laugh the loudest, and all your facial expressions from your stroppy pout to your biggest smile.

“He’s going to cherish you and never make you wait two hours inside a deli so he could _get some sleep_. He will always reply back to your messages, and he’s going to get you your order of food and pay for it before you even say it because he will already know what you want. He’ll know about that stupid dance move you do every time a Drake song comes up when you think you’re extremely gangster. He’ll know what to say and do to make you feel better if you’re sad, and that you’re extra cuddly when you’re sick and sleepy. He will know about how much you care with your big, big heart and he will love you so fucking much, Lou.”

Louis was speechless and staring at Harry with wide eyes. He looked sincere and so, so, warm it made Louis’ stomach feel like it was going to unfurl into a million pieces. Harry’s hand came up and rested over Louis’ as he squeezed it in his palm. “Say something,” he laughed.

“You’ve left me speechless,” Louis could only offer as he laughed softly. “Harry…”

“You’re one of the nicest people I’ve met,” Harry said hurriedly. “You’re such a good person to your friends. You’re kind and you’ve been there for _me_. I know that these coffee runs seem like a fun thing to do when you want to get away from studying, but to me, it has been so much more. So helpful. It has felt so good being here with you and just talking. I don’t know how anyone could ever hurt you.”

“I don’t come here because I’m bored,” Louis told him. “I love spending time with you, too. I love doing this.”

“I’m glad,” Harry smiled. “I’m here for you, always. Thank you so much for telling me all that.”

“Thank you for saying what you did,” Louis smiled back.

They finished the rest of their coffees, the conversation redirecting back to what they’d been talking about on the way over: what were they going to be for Halloween?

+++

Harry handed Louis the drink that he got for him and then stood beside him, leaning against the wall with his own cup in his hand. That weekend’s party was being held at the frat house and the two of them came in together after having watched _How I Met Your Mother_ all day. They’d met up initially at Louis’ flat to do revision, but somehow ended up finishing a season of the show instead. They would have gone through with another season had Zayn not texted them _get the fuck over to the party, you dip shits._

When they arrived, the first thing they noticed was that Barbara was there. And they only noticed that because Niall was lurking a few feet away from her as she talked to Zayn, Ed and Taylor. It was obvious that he wanted to talk to her, but was too scared to approach them.

“I feel so bad for him,” Harry leaned in and said to Louis with a laugh.

Louis giggled and nodded his head in agreement. “I know. Should we go help him?”

Harry shrugged. “We could try. I think he’ll approach her eventually. If Niall is anything, it’s determined.”

Harry had a point. So, the two of them continued to observe their friends and the different things they were doing while drinking. Taylor and El were square dancing along to “Timber” by Ke$ha and getting a lot of weird looks from people at the party. And then at some point, Zayn and Ed had stopped talking to Barbara and were taking pictures of Louis and Harry instead, pap style. The two of them turned to face the camera, half amused, half annoyed.

 

When they shooed the boys away, both of whom were cackling and no doubt posting those candid pictures on their social media, they noticed Barbara and Niall talking and giggling with each other, looking smitten as could be.

“I think Niall has literal heart eyes,” Louis said. “I’m excited to see where this will go.”

Harry cocked his head at him and smirked. “Excited to see where this will go? Like, you’re watching some TV show and you’re _excited_ for the plot to develop.”

Louis laughed, nodding. “I’ve been watching too much _How I Met Your Mother_!”

“I kind of want to leave and go watch it some more.”

“Me, too.”

Harry looked at Louis and he grinned, turning around and walking out of the frat house. Harry followed him and the two of them laughed and talked the entire way back to Louis’ flat where they got under his covers, placed his laptop over a pillow between them and started up the next season. It was much better than staying at the party. Not that it would have sucked hanging out with their friends, but just that this show was really good and had Louis feeling a _certain way_. It also helped that he was watching it with Harry, who was quickly becoming one of his best friends.

It was just enlightening to see the way Robin and Ted’s relationship developed in the show. How they went from being friends to lovers to friends again. It started to make Louis think about how they were just meant to be in each other’s lives. With Ted’s inspirational monologues starting and ending every episode, he started to think a bit like that, too.  

Sometimes people met and it was so clear to them that at some point on some level they belonged together. It could be as friends, as family, or friends, or something entirely different. Louis started to feel that way about Harry. Not necessarily in a romantic way, like Ted and Robin, but more in a way that they just worked. They clicked together. Harry understood him better than a lot of people in his life and being with him made Louis want to get his life together because they shared the same desire and drive to achieve their dreams.

Maybe there was some truth to the concept of fate, though Louis had never considered himself as someone who believed in all that. Or maybe it wasn’t fate--maybe it was coincidence that they met at this school. He never imagined leaving his other school and coming to this new one to find friends like these. Louis had walked into this year thinking of when he would get out. He never thought he’d find someone or a group of someones who would make him want to enjoy every single moment he had left till it was all over. Fate or not, it definitely made Louis believe in something.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for anyone confused, the last two tweets by harry and louis are quotes that they related to from the show how i met your mother.  
>   
> next update will be on thursday!  
> [tumblr](http://quitefinishedlarry.tumblr.com/) / [fic page](http://quitefinishedlarry.tumblr.com/yail) / [chapter post](http://quitefinishedlarry.tumblr.com/post/135598406330/fic-you-are-in-love-author-wildestdreams)


	6. the one where the challenge is accepted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first off i wanna apologize bc this is a day late. with work and the holidays and some last minute trip planning i couldn't get everything ready in time. but it's here and the schedule will hopefully not waver anymore.  
>   
> secondly, i wanna thank [mac](http://realitybetterthanfiction.tumblr.com/) for betaing. she is a gem~~ and i wanna thank everyone who has been reading and commenting and reccing and kudo-ing??? it means a lot!!  
>   
> this chapter may seem like a filler if u look at it from afar, but you'll realize that some dynamics change. some plotlines start to develop as well as friendships/relationships. it'll make more sense as you read. i hope you enjoy!!

 

Louis, Taylor, and El all jumped up in their seats, screaming as a dark figure burst in front of their telly screen before clutching their chests and laughing while looking at each other. They were having a _Paranormal Activity_ marathon all day and were currently on the fourth movie. And since it was the weekend, the other boys were over at the frat house for a party, which the three of them opted out of going to. It was a great day all in all. There was a ton of junk food and jump scares that made them laugh as soon as it happened. This was better than the hangovers they would have gotten if they’d gone to the party instead.

As the end credits to the movie rolled, El got up to go get more snacks, while Taylor switched out to play the newest _Paranormal Activity_. She pulled out her phone after and played one of Ed’s snapchats to her. It was a video of Harry trying to do the whip dance, and the two of them laughed, replaying it.

“What’s going on between you and Harry?” Taylor asked Louis.

Louis groaned, dropped his head back on the couch. “Why does everyone keep asking me that?”

Taylor shrugged, a teasing smile on her lips. “El told me he stays over sometimes to hang out in your room and watch some show.” She quirked an eyebrow when she said _watch some show_ as if they weren’t really doing that and just having sex.

“Yeah,” Louis nodded. “We’ve been binge watching _How I Met Your Mother_. That’s all it is, though.”

“You two seemed cozy at that last party, too,” Taylor noted.

“Cozy at parties,” El sing songed as she walked back with a plate of nachos, probably having heard what they were talking about. “Sleeping together and watch shows, doing revisions together, going on late night coffee trips.”

“That’s so cute,” Taylor cooed, grinning at Louis. “Do you like him?”

Louis frowned at them and felt a bit stumped. He didn’t know if he liked Harry because he never allowed himself to even consider that question. El was always on him about it, but he ignored her for the most part. She never meant any harm and was always just teasing. However, sitting here with Taylor grilling him as well, he didn’t know how to respond.

Louis shrugged. “Not really, I don’t think so,” he said.

“Would you hook up with him?”

Louis felt his cheeks flame up and he stifled a laugh. Suddenly, the thought of kissing Harry seemed to be imprinted into his mind. It was something he was actually actively thinking about and wasn’t exactly hating. However, he did hate his friends for even putting this thought into his head. “Fuck you guys,” he mumbled, throwing a pillow at them.

“You _so_ would,” El laughed, pointing at him accusingly.

“Like, I said. Fuck you.”

“You’re the one dying to have Harry bone you,” Taylor laughed.

“Okay,” Louis cried, scandalized. “I’m not _dying_ for Harry to bone me. I’m not responding to either of you. Let’s start the movie.”

Thankfully the girls complied and played the movie. Halfway through the film, someone rang the bell and Louis got up since he was closest to the door. When he opened it, his eyes widened as he watched Liam, Zayn, Ed, Niall and Harry all march in screaming at the top of their lungs and laughing. The other girls got up, startled, as the boys made themselves comfortable. Zayn, Liam and Niall immediately went for the food and drinks while Ed went over to Taylor to give her a kiss.

“Is that the new _Paranormal Activity_?” Harry asked, sitting down in Louis’ spot and pulling Louis’ blanket over himself. “I haven’t seen it.”

The girls and Louis continued to stare at them in confusion.

“What are you all doing here?” El finally asked.

“We got bored,” Harry replied.

“I wasn’t bored,” Zayn pointed out.

“Well, most of us were,” Niall said to that. “It’s not fun when you guys aren’t there.”

“Aww,” Louis cooed, finally closing the door and making his way over to sit beside Niall. Niall laughed, pulling him closer for cuddle. “We honestly weren’t doing much, though. Just marathoning movies and relaxing.”

“Which one’s this?” Ed asked with his head on Taylor’s lap as she stroked his hair.

“The new one!” Harry said.

“Surprised you are interested in something other than rom coms,” Liam teased.

“Rom coms are amazing, Liam,” Harry chided, looking offended.

“I happen to agree,” Louis added, throwing a wink over at Harry to show him that he had his back. Harry beamed at him.

“Alright,” Liam rolled his eyes. “You two can go make out now.” Louis’ mouth dropped open, but Liam continued on like he said that everyday. Which made Louis wonder if he did because Harry didn’t even flinch at the comment.

“Let’s do something fun,” Ed hummed after a while.

“We are having fun,” El said to him pointedly. “What more can we do?”

“Let’s do a scavenger hunt of sorts,” Ed suggested. “Me and Zayn have been wanting to do one with the whole group for awhile.”

“Wouldn’t that take a lot of preparation?” Liam asked. “We’d have to get stuff and put it in different places and make maps and stuff.”

“No,” Zayn shook his head. “We were thinking of splitting the eight of us into two teams and we make a list of things that we have to complete. Take pictures and videos of your task once completed and we meet at the campus pub to show each other. Losers buy winners drinks for the rest of the month.”

“That’s actually brilliant,” Louis grinned, getting excited and bouncing up and down on his seat. “Let’s do it.”

“Wait,” Liam frowned. “A month? That’s a long time. Why are the stakes so high? I know you won’t go easy on the items on the list, Z.”

“Don’t be such a baby, Li,” Zayn smirked devilishly, while still managing to look beautiful at the same time. “Are the rest of you in or not?”

Everyone smiled and nodded their heads, getting excited as well. Louis went to his room and grabbed a few sheets of paper and pens before walking back out to everyone. Zayn was sitting in the center with Liam’s snapback in his hand. “First things first,” he began, grabbing the pen and paper from Louis’ hand.

“I’m the realest,” El finished for him.

“Thank you, Iggy Azalea,” Zayn rolled his eyes. He ripped up a piece of paper into eight pieces before writing each of their names on them. “I’m putting these all in the hat and then I’ll mix them up and split them equally four-by-four to make the teams.”

They all watched as Zayn threw the little pieces of paper into the hat and shook it around a bit before dumping them in front of him. He separated them randomly and then opened each piece of paper slowly. “Alright,” he said. “First team is Liam, Louis, Niall and Harry.”

“Challenge accepted,” Harry said in his best Barney Stinson accent. Louis laughed and high fived him. This was going to be _sick_.

“Second team,” Zayn began, “is obviously the remainder. El, Taylor, Ed and me.”

“We’re going to win this shit,” El said confidently, giving Taylor a determined look. She was already looking ready to beat the other team down. Maybe putting El and Taylor together wasn’t a good idea. They were both _so_ competitive.

After the teams were settled, Louis grabbed a sheet for his team while El took one for hers. They both wrote down the list of the tasks the teams had to complete. Each of them pitched in ideas and it got more and more outrageous with every suggestion. After compiling a list of twenty-three things, they all split up to get started. El, Taylor, Ed and Zayn went to Ed and Zayn’s flat to figure out their game plan while the other team stayed back at El and Louis’.

  1. _pie a team member on the face_
  2. _shotgun a beer_
  3. _milk challenge (with color dye)_
  4. _run around a store and yell “penis”_
  5. _picture with a homeless person_
  6. _ballroom dance in the middle of the street_
  7. _take a shot of hot sauce and don’t drink water for at least 5 minutes_
  8. _flour a team member_
  9. _kiss a stranger_
  10. _kick a ginger (excluding Ed)_
  11. _put ice scream in a sock and slap a team member with it_
  12. _saran wrap a team member and roll them down a hill_
  13. _belly bump naked_
  14. _ask a stranger to marry you -- be believable_
  15. _pick someone up through miley cyrus or hannah montana lyrics and get them to buy you a drink_
  16. _banana boner in public_
  17. _spank a stranger_
  18. _go up to a random person and act like you haven’t seen them in forever_
  19. _boys wear a girl’s panties and walk into a shop full of people (up to 2 boys)_
  20. _naked team picture_



+++

 

“So, none of these have to be done in order,” Niall said, scanning the list. “I say we get rid of whatever is easier before doing the harder ones.”

“Wouldn’t it be easier to do the harder ones first to get those out of the way so that we could go more quickly through the easier ones later?” Liam asked.

“No, because if we did the easier ones first we could take our time with the harder ones,” Niall reasoned.

Liam was just about to argue back when Harry grabbed the sheet of paper from Niall. “Stop. Let’s just. Let’s strategize. With the determination I saw on El and Taylor’s face to win, we have to be quick.”

“I think that sounds better than hearing these two argue,” Louis agreed.

Liam scoffed. “I can strategize,” he exclaimed. He grabbed the sheet back from Harry and looked it through. Louis watched as he bit his lip and looked back up at them. “There’s a lot of things here that we might need to buy depending on whether or not El and Lou have any in the flat. I’m going to go look through the kitchen for stuff. In the meanwhile...does anyone have any girls knickers to lend since it’s on the list?”

Louis bit his lip, worrying it between his teeth, and twisted his hands behind his back. The way Liam had phrased the question made it seem like it was a viable option -- like Niall or Harry _could_ have girl knickers if that was their thing. Granted neither of them did, but it was _Louis’_ thing. And it wasn’t that he was ashamed about it because loads of guys wore them, but it wasn’t something he openly talked about because it wasn’t any of their business. He also never expected anyone to outright ask him unless they were in the confines of their bedrooms and about to have sex, but here they were.

The alternate would be to go through El’s stuff and find knickers, and that seemed a lot worse than casually mentioning to three of your mates that you sometimes liked wearing lady knickers.

Louis cleared his throat. “Um, I do,” he said quickly. Okay, wow, so that was out there. But then -- Liam barely batted an eye. He just nodded his head and continued looking through the list.

“So, we go in wearing girls pants and nothing else and buy the other stuff we need? Two in one,” Niall said, completely glossing over Louis’ rather private confession. Louis looked at both Liam and Niall in surprise and then noticed it was only Harry watching him quite curiously. His brows were furrowed and his pink lips were pinched. When he noticed Louis looking back at him, he hurriedly turned back to Niall.

“Yup,” Harry nodded in confirmation.

“How about Louis film us while the three of us wear the pants?”

“Sounds good. I’ve worn girls pants before,” Liam quipped. “I was eight years old then, though, Ruth and Nicola thought it’d be cute to dress me up.”

Harry laughed, patting Liam on the back, and then turned back to Louis. “Do I get to pick the color?”

Louis smiled rather shyly. “Sure, let’s go,” he said. Louis led Harry into his room while Liam and Niall got to searching the flat for the necessary items. Louis opened his drawer for Harry. “Take your pick, but I get to approve. I don’t want you taking my favorite ones.”

“Ooo,” Harry cooed teasingly. “Saving the sexy lingerie for anyone special?”

Louis shot him a look and Harry snickered before looking at the selection towards the front. His fingers traced over several pants, and although Louis did have some boxer briefs in there, he still felt a little self conscious because he had no idea out what Harry was thinking. Then Louis saw him smirk. “I like this one,” he said, picking up a lacy black one Louis’d gotten a few weeks ago. “Do you ever wear this? This is _so_ fucking hot.”

“Oh my God, _Harry_ ,” Louis whisper shouted. He grabbed it from Harry’s hands and stuffed it back in the drawer, his cheeks flaming up. “Not that one. Besides, I don’t even think it’ll cover half your dick.”

“I’m not going to wear it,” Harry said. “I just think it’s really hot.”

Louis couldn’t help but smile despite trying to suppress it. He quickly grabbed three of his older knickers without as much lace and handed them to Harry. “Let’s just go, yeah?” he said.

Harry nodded, his eyes trained on Louis, as they walked out of the room. Louis avoided his gaze and walked out to where Liam and Niall were rummaging about, trying to find what they needed to complete the rest of the tasks. “You lads got everything?” he asked once they found them.

“A few things,” Niall said, walking over to them with a banana, a can of beer, a sock, ice cream, and saran wrap all packed in a plastic bag. Harry handed him one of the pants (a light blue one) and Niall smiled. “Thanks, Lou.” He started to change while Liam walked over to them.

“We still need flour, a pie, food colouring and hot sauce,” Liam informed them.

“Christ,” Louis laughed at the randomness of their list. He took the list of tasks from Liam’s hand to look through so that he and Harry could quickly change, too. It was hilarious to see their expressions as they tried to adjust. Liam was wincing, Niall had a grimace on his face, and Harry looked a bit like he was having a revelation.

“You guys alright?” Louis asked.

“You’re a lot smaller than either of my sisters,” Liam said. “I think we all underestimated the size.”

Louis laughed loudly. “This is going to be gold. I can’t wait to watch you all walk into the shop. You can’t have your jeans on, by the way. Zayn said.”

“Zayn can suck my dick,” Liam groaned. “This hurts. My circulation is gone all wrong.”

“Are you wearing it right?” Niall asked, still adjusting. “I’ve got it set up right and I’m fine.”

“Oh my God,” Louis mumbled, hiding behind his hands.

“Are you saying your penis is peeking out from the top?” Liam asked him.

Niall nodded. “It’s better than folding it and stuffing it in the middle, that’s why you’re in pain.”

Harry looked just as stricken as Louis with the conversation being held in front of them. “Are you two quite finished?” Harry asked, impatiently. “Let’s go.”

+++

“I can’t believe I’m going in there in girls knickers,” Liam mumbled, holding onto Louis’ shoulder as he pulled his jeans off. Niall was already standing there, hands on his hips proudly, and his jeans in the bag Louis was carrying. Despite tucking in his penis in a more convenient way for himself earlier, Niall quickly realized that he couldn’t do that once he took his jeans off considering he’d be flashing everyone inside the shop, so he turned away and wore the pants like the other two boys.

“Remember that one of you has to run around screaming penis while you’re in there,” Louis reminded them.

“That will not be me,” Liam quickly said. “I’m going to go buy the stuff and walk out. I’m not even going to look anyone in the eye.”

“Well one of you has to do it,” Louis said. “The other can help get the stuff we need as quick as possible because I’m sure someone will call the cops. Whoever yells penis will create a diversion towards the end to stall everything.”

The three boys looked between each other and somehow conversed through their eyes. “Well?” Louis asked, tapping his foot.

Harry sighed heavily. “I’ll do it,” he said. “I’ll scream penis.”

“Harry has little to no shame,” Niall told Louis. “He’d be the least embarrassed out of the three of us. First would be Liam. He’s weak as fuck.”

“I resent that,” Liam jabbed him. Niall smacked his bum and pushed him towards the shop. “Let’s go buy the fucking stuff.” He turned back to Harry and Louis. “You guys ready?”

Louis gave them a nod and the two boys walked inside the shop. He filmed them through the windows while Harry stood beside him, waiting for his turn to pop in and do his part. Liam and Niall had gotten attention from the moment they stepped in. People were stopping and staring at them, completely taken aback by the debacle.

“Liam has a wedgie,” Harry pointed out, snickering. “And Niall’s balls are practically hanging out. Do you see that lady standing by the cash register?”

Louis laughed, nodding his head, feeling like he couldn’t breathe. “She looks horrified. This is the funniest thing I’ve seen.”

“Time for me to run in yet?” he asked.

Louis nodded his head quickly, seeing that Liam and Niall were nearly done. “Yeah, they’re almost done anyway.” They both turned back to the store and laughed harder when they saw two men approach Liam. Liam looked absolutely scared shitless while Niall was trying to quickly pay for everything and leave.

“I think you’re ready to go,” Louis said to Harry, watching as Niall joined Liam where the two guys who had approached him earlier, were looking quite angry as they told them off. One of blokes was blushing furiously and Louis wasn’t sure if they were put off by the whole incident or felt turned on.

Harry quickly ran in and Louis followed behind. As soon as Harry was inside the shop, he took a deep breath, catching the attention of everyone in the shop, and then started running around with his arms over his head.

“ _Penis_!” he shouted, running through the aisles. Louis started to choke because he was laughing so hard, running after Harry. He could hear the cashier calling in the security, who were yelling over the speakers asking Harry to stop. Once Harry and Louis made a full round, Liam and Niall quickly ran out of the shop with them, and they all ran into a nearby ally, away from everyone who’d walked out after them.

There was a rather large crowd of people standing outside now, looking to see where they’d gone, but after five minutes, they all went their own ways.

Louis turned back around to find the boys were standing in a darker, secluded area, taking off the knickers and putting on their own briefs again. “What were those two guys saying?” he asked Liam and Niall.

“That we’re going to go to hell,” Niall told him, snickering. “But they were priests from the church a few blocks down.”

“No,” Louis cried, covering his mouth. “Were they really?” Niall nodded his head, laughing just as hard.

“They were lecturing us so bad. It was hilarious. Liam kept mumbling and apologizing.”

“That was not funny,” Liam said, walking over to them. He had Louis’ pants in his hand and handed them to him. Louis wrinkled his nose and opened the plastic bag full of their stuff, asking Liam to just put it in there. He was not going to touch that until it had been washed. “They were talking about God and our indecency. Had me feeling rather guilty.”

Harry and Niall laughed, placing Louis’ other pants in the bag as well. “If it hadn’t been for Harry, Liam would have probably been taken to Confession and all to ask for forgiveness for having his anaconda dick out,” Niall said, pulling out the list of tasks and crossing out two of their tasks. “What should we do next?”

“Milk challenge with color dye,” Louis said, looking over his shoulder.

“Oh God,” Liam moaned. “I heard that was, like, really hard.”

“What do you even do?” Harry asked. “Zayn was the one who suggested it, but no one said what it even was.”

“We all have to drink a gallon of milk with color dye in it and try not to throw up,” Liam told him grumpily. “I hate the stuff Zayn suggested. He’s a menace.”

Louis cringed at the idea of the task. “So, how about the four of us do it and one of us film?”

“Well, I’m kind of lactose intolerant,” Harry said. “I have to film.”

Liam groaned again. “I was hoping it’d be me. On account of my kidney and all.”

“Drinking milk doesn’t affect your kidney,” Harry glared at him. “Plus, your kidneys are fine. When will you stop being the boy who cried _I only have one kidney_ even though he always had two.”

“One of them wasn’t working before,” Liam argued back. “It now is, but before it was barely there.”

“Give it up, Payno,” Niall agreed. “We know the real truth.”

“Fine,” Liam said. “But if I get sick, I’ll be sending you lot the medical bill.”

“Send it to Zayn for putting that on the list,” Louis told him. “I assume you all got the milk and dyes.”

Harry nodded his head, taking out the necessary items from the bags. Each of them grabbed a gallon of milk while Harry waited with his phone set to video. Louis grabbed the red dye and poured it into his carton before closing it and shaking it to let the color mix in. “Are you excited or nervous?” Harry asked.

Louis shrugged, looking to his right as the boys mixed in their colors. Liam looked rather sickly even though they hadn’t even started. “I think I can do it,” Louis eventually replied.  “Could be funny, though, if we threw up. Can you imagine the mess we’d leave? A rainbow of milk vom.”

Harry laughed, leaning against the brick wall behind him.

“Okay, we’re ready,” Niall said, holding his carton of blue milk.

“I’m not,” Liam moaned.

“Let’s start then,” Louis said. The three of them uncapped their milk cartons and started drinking. For a while, it was fine. Louis made it halfway through until his stomach started turning. He winced as he drank some more and pulled away immediately, heaving against the wall. “I don’t know if I can anymore.”

“You’re barely done,” Niall pointed out. Niall’s carton was about three quarters finished and Louis pouted.

However, it was Liam who puked first. He turned away from all of them and clutched his stomach as he vomited green liquid all over the ground. Seeing him go made Louis’ stomach turn even more and he gagged before throwing up himself. It was undeniably repulsive. Niall was the only one able to stomach the entire gallon of milk, despite looking rather sickly. Harry was watching the video he had recorded over and over again, laughing so hard he was snorting.

Louis was slumped over on the wall, with his eyes closed, as he let myself relax. “I’m never drinking milk again,” he said.

“That makes two of us,” Liam piped in. “What’s next?”

“How about we do the flour and pie one?” Niall asked, rubbing his belly. “One person films, another person flours and pies the other two.”

“Okay,” the rest of them agreed. They all got up and let Liam take the camera this time since he was still feeling poorly from throwing up.

“I call dibs on the flour,” Niall said, quickly grabbing it out of the bag and handing it to Harry.

“Gee, thanks for leaving me with the pie, Ni,” Louis said to him, pursing his lips when he saw Harry pull out the small lemon meringue pie. Harry grinned at Louis, putting his finger through it and popping it in his mouth.

“Yum,” Harry moaned. Louis stared at him for a long moment, almost transfixed by what he just witnessed, when Harry stood up and snapped him out of his thoughts. “You guys ready?”

Louis and Niall nodded in response and Liam pressed on the record button. Harry did his own countdown before smashing the pie on Louis’ face, making him wince, but laugh nonetheless. He leaned back against the wall, rubbing the cream out of his eyes. When he was finally able to see properly, he saw that Harry had already dumped the bag of flour over Niall, who looked like a walking ghost.

Liam and Harry were doubling over in laughter at Niall. “You look fucking scary, mate,” Liam laughed as Niall shook himself like a dog and splattered them all with flour. “I can’t even tell it’s you except for your eyes. Shit.”

“Do you all see Louis?” Harry asked and everyone turned to him, laughing as they walked closer, and dipped their fingers on my face to get some pie filling.

“Yum,” Harry said again, licking his finger. He then leaned in and kissed Louis’ cheek, but licked a stripe of cream off as well, and Louis squealed pushing him away.

“Gross,” he cried.

“I want to try that,” Niall said, leaning in to do the same.

After fighting them off for five minutes from licking his face further like actual dogs, Louis managed to grab napkins that Liam had thankfully brought with them and cleaned up his face as much as possible. Niall was still trying to shake the flour off of himself. Poor lad.

They headed to Hyde Park next to do the saran wrap task since there was a hill there. Along the way they were trying to decide which tasks they could cross off. “We could do the ballroom dancing task,” Harry suggested. “Who knows how to do that? I can volunteer, but I’d need a partner.”

“I would, but I don’t want to,” Liam said. “I’m filming.”

“How about Louis?” Niall said, shoving Louis forward. “You look like you could bust a move.”

Louis stumbled towards Harry, who grabbed his arm to steady him. “Just because I have the figure of a dancer does not mean I can dance. I’m rubbish for all you know,” he said to Niall, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Are you rubbish?” Niall asked pointedly.

“I’m decent,” Louis responded.

“Good enough for me,” he said.

Louis turned to look at Harry, who gave him a Cheshire cat grin. “Can I have this dance, Lou?” he said in his most innocent voice. Louis rolled his eyes in response.

“C’mere, you big doof.”

Harry cackled obnoxiously, placing his hands on Louis’ waist, and the two of them slow danced in the middle of the street without any music on. It was stupid and funny and quite dramatic with Louis trying to dip Harry and twirl him around a bit. They only stopped when Harry accidentally stepped on Louis’ foot.

“We’ve done six out of twenty of these,” Niall informed them once he saved the video he recorded. “Let’s hope we can do a lot of them in the park.”

“A bunch of these require stuff dealing with strangers on the street,” Louis said, looking over his shoulder. “Question is, who is brave enough to do them.”

“Oh, right,” Liam recalled. “Like, kiss a stranger, spank a stranger. I think El came up with those.”

“Somebody’s got a stranger fetish,” Harry laughed. “We’ll do those after the park on the way back.”

The four of them walked the last few blocks that led them into Hyde Park and they settled down near a few tables and benches. Niall and Liam raced each other to the jungle gym before they could even put their stuff down, leaving Louis and Harry alone. Harry turned to Louis with the list in his hand. “I think,” he started to say. “We could probably do more than half of these here.”

“Let’s get to it, then,” Louis said. “First up, I say let’s do the hot sauce one. We have to take a shot of hot sauce and not drink water for at least five minutes. Are you up for that?”

“I can’t do it,” Harry shook his head. “After the milk thing, I’m going to throw up anything and everything I put in my mouth. Make Niall do it with you because Liam is probably too wimpy.”

Niall joined Louis moments after, but it took a bit of effort because he didn’t want to leave the jungle gyms, and Harry had to wrangle him over. After pouring themselves hot sauce shots, Harry got his phone to ready to film it. Louis and Niall both said a little prayer before gulping it down as soon as Harry said, “Go.”

Louis threw his cup down and screamed, sticking his tongue half out of his mouth as he tried to breath and give it some relief.

“Oh my god,” Niall groaned, laughing, with tears in his eyes. Louis wasn’t sure if they were from tears of how spicy his mouth was or if he was just laughing. “Fuck. _Fuck_.”

Harry, on the other hand, was laughing maniacally from the other end of the bench and Liam ran over to see what they were doing.

“Is anyone timing this?” Louis wheezed.

“Yeah,” Harry nodded, wiping his eyes. “You’ve got about four more minutes to go.”

“Oh, shit,” Liam laughed as he caught on. “You did the hot sauce challenge.”

While the two of them laughed, Louis and Niall somehow made it through four more minutes. If the two of them were anything, it was determined. They sat there with their tongues hanging out the entire time. When the five minutes were up, they gulped down a water bottle each, and just breathed heavily through their mouths.

“So, that one’s done,” Harry said, crossing it off. “How about next, one of us could put ice cream in a sock and slap Liam with it?”

“Sick,” Niall laughed. “I definitely want to do that. Do I do it with my own sock?”

“Do you want me to die?” Liam deadpanned.

“It doesn’t smell, you arsewipe,” Niall snapped, sitting down and removing his shoes. He pulled one sock off and slipped his feet back into his shoes. Harry took out the small ice cream carton from the bag and wrinkled his nose as he opened it.

“It’s a bit melted,” he said.

“All the better,” Niall replied, taking a big scoop, and putting it in his sock. Louis quickly grabbed the carton of ice cream to taste something other than hot sauce in his mouth for awhile. Harry chuckled softly, watching him devour the Ben & Jerry’s chunky monkey.

“Leave some for me,” Harry said to him. “I like the banana flavor to it.”

“Harry,” Niall said, impatiently. “You going to film this or not?”

Harry turned back to the other two and opened up the phone’s camera app. They watched as Niall twisted his sock together and then smacked it on Liam’s face. Liam winced and cried out, covering his face, before falling dramatically to the ground.

“Oh my God,” Louis cried. “Liam, you okay?”

“Niall hit me too hard,” he cried back.

“Oh, woman up, Payno. This is being recorded,” Niall told him, throwing the sock down on the ground.

“I just--didn’t expect that to be so hard,” Liam whimpered like a wounded puppy.

“Do you need anything?” Harry asked him.

“A moment.”

“Alright,” Harry said cheerfully. “On to the next task.”

“Let’s do the saran wrap one,” Louis said, taking out the saran wrap. “Who wants to do it?”

“Make Harry do it,” Liam pouted from the ground.

“Harry?” Louis asked, looking at him.

Harry mulled it over for a moment and nodded. “Alright. I suppose I could.” He got up and shucked his coat and stood there while Louis wrapped him up as much as possible with the saran wrap. Once done, they walked, or in Harry’s case waddled, over to the hill that was a bit further in the park. Louis stood at the bottom of the hill while Liam and Niall stood at the top with Harry. He looked like a mummy, all stiff and proper.

“My posture has never been better,” Harry said jokingly.

Louis laughed before pressing record. “Ok, go.”

Niall and Liam waited until Harry was in a lying position and then rolled him down. Harry’s laughs and screams could be heard throughout the park as he tumbled down. When he landed and stopped rolling, Louis ran over.

“Harry,” he said, bending down, trying not to laugh too hard. “You okay?”

“That was the scariest and most exhilarating thing I’ve ever done,” Harry laughed. They all burst out laughing again, huddling around to Harry to free him from the saran wrap. Once free, he laid on his back and stretched. “I can’t tell if I had fun or if I was going to piss my pants.”

“You did good, kid,” Louis patted him on the tummy. Harry smiled at him softly before turning to Liam and Niall. “What next?”

Niall took out the paper and looked through the list. “There’s take a picture with a homeless person. Which, I guess we could do on the way back, as well as the stuff with the strangers. I think we should go to a bar after this because there’s things like shotgun a beer and get someone to buy you a drink, etc. Also, two people have to belly bump naked and we have to take a naked picture.”

“Let’s get the naked ones out of the way then,” Liam said. “I’d prefer we did it here where no one can seen us, seeing as the park is pretty much deserted.”

“Who’s belly bumping?” Niall asked.

“You and Liam could do it,” Louis suggested.

“Eager to see me naked, babe?” Niall asked cheekily.

“Shut up.” Louis rolled his eyes. “Harry and I can get naked after that.”

Niall laughed as he and Liam both undressed down to their boxers. Once done, they stood a few feet apart, shivering.

“Hurry up,” Liam moaned. “My balls are freezing off.”

Harry cackled loudly, lounging on the grass, back in his coat. Louis pressed on record and gave Niall and Liam the go. They both ran towards each other and belly bumped, falling backwards on the grass as a result.

“It’s worse when it’s cold. My nipples hurt,” Liam cried, taking his briefs off. “Fuck. Everyone strip already. Let’s take the picture.”

Louis and Harry took their sweet time in taking off their clothes, much to Liam’s dismay, who kept trying to hurry them up. When they were bare and naked, Harry took the camera, raised it high above in the air to get everyone in the shot. He took a few pictures before the four of them scrambled to get their clothes back on again. “Now, I’ve got an issue that I only just now realized,” Harry said as they walked out of the park.

“What’s up?” Louis asked him.

“This whole kiss a stranger and spank a stranger thing could be a bit _problematic_.”

“Why?” Liam asked. “It’s only fun and games. No one is doing it seriously.”

“I feel like we should maybe do this wisely,” Harry said. “It could be considered sexual harassment.”

“We could combine it, maybe,” Niall suggested. “Like, whoever goes up to someone at the bar and gets them to buy them a drink should kiss them and spank them. That way, it’s not without consent.”

“Louis should do it,” Harry grinned. “I know for a fact that he’s got the entire Hannah Montana discography memorized.”

“Shut up,” Louis teased back. “You know the entire rap to “Waterfalls” by TLC.”

On the way to the bar, they spotted a little homeless man and his dog sat on the sidewalk. “Let’s ask him for a picture,” Liam said.

“Wait,” Niall said. “I want to give him something first. Let me go get some food from the corner shop. Be back in five.” Niall came back shortly with a bag filled with crisps, bagels, and a drink, and they all walked over to the homeless man. They made the exchange, making the homeless man smile extra big in their picture.

“That was quite nice of you, Niall,” Harry said, slinging an arm around him.

“If he can go to sleep on a full stomach tonight and all I had to lose was a tenner, then I’d gladly do it again,” he replied.

Harry smiled, giving Niall a kiss on the head. They walked the last few blocks to the bar and once inside, Liam picked them out a table where they could sit. They decided against the campus bar since they were further away. This bar was filled with middle-aged men with a few youngins here and there.

“So, Louis,” Liam said. “Go up to someone at the bar, chat them up. If they buy you a drink then you kiss them and spank them. Maybe even ask them to marry you because that is also on the list.”

“I’m feeling the pressure,” Louis said to them. “Am I hot enough to be able to do all of that?”

“You’re hot enough to take over the world,” Harry reassured him. “Now, let’s go pick you your new husband. I’ll film it.”

“Don’t be creepy about it,” Louis said to him. “I don’t want to turn him off by making him think I always get dumb uni boys to record my game.”

“Keep that up and I’ll give him the dad talk,” Harry warned.

“So, that’s settled,” Liam said, ignoring their banter. “Niall, can you wear this banana in your pants, disguise it as a banana boner and then shot gun the beer we got?”

“Yes sir,” Niall saluted him.

“And then once you’re done with that, I can go up to someone and act like I haven’t seen them in forever,” Liam concluded. “Niall and I can film each other. Harry and Louis, get going.”

They all split from the booth and went their separate ways. Harry hovered behind Louis as he scanned the bar for someone fit enough to try and chat with. Unbeknownst to Louis, someone had spotted him, instead.

“Looking for someone?” the guy asked, standing in front of Louis with a smile. Louis gave him a once over before replying. He was young, probably fresh out of college, give or take a year or two. He had a clean cut hair style and a button up, unbuttoned at the top with his tie undone. He could very well do because Louis couldn’t spot anyone else as fit.

“Depends,” Louis replied smirking.

 _Shit_ , he couldn’t make casual conversation. He had to think of Hannah Montana lyrics.

“Do you go to Imperial?” the guy asked Louis.

Louis said the first lyric that popped in mind when he thought of Hannah Montana. “Sometimes I walk a little faster in the school hallway just to get next to you.”

The guy frowned, but looked amused. Louis could hear Harry snickering, but he couldn’t see him, which was bothering him a bit.

“I don’t go to school anymore. Graduated from London University. I work nearby, though. Have you seen me around or summat?”

Louis shrugged, not knowing what else to do. “Some days I spend a little extra time in the morning just to impress you.”

The guy started to laugh, clearly not catching on. “So, you have seen me around. Brilliant. I’m Drew.”

“Guess you don’t notice, guess you don’t need this.”

He frowned again, but this time he wasn’t amused. “You shouldn’t be so pessimistic. I did come up to you now, yeah?”

“Sad you’re not seein’ what you’re missin. On the outside shyin’ away. On the inside dyin’ to say.”

“Maybe you can start off by telling me your name...and a bit about you?” he asked tentatively.

Louis felt like crying because this was so _embarrassing_ , but hilarious at the same time. He hoped by the end of the chorus, Drew would just buy him a drink so he could get on with it.  

“I’m unusual, not so typical,” Louis told him. This was quite hard because he was used to singing the words rather than saying it.  

Dew laughed, good heartedly, before nodding. “Yeah, I can tell.”

“Way too smart to be waiting around,” Louis glared at him. Was he insinuating that Louis was weird? The nerve.

“Hey,” he shook his head. “I didn’t mean to offend you. You’re really gorgeous, love.”

“Tai chi practicing, snowboard champion. I could fix the flat on your car.”

“That’s--that’s _incredible_. But, uh, my car is fine.”

“I might even be a rockstar.”

Dew smiled. “You’re pretty enough to be. Can I buy you a drink?”

Louis nodded his head gleefully. _Yes_. It worked. Louis waited while Drew ordered him some bourbon or whatever, waiting to just be finished with this task.

“You know,” Drew said slowly, turning to him. “I know you were reciting a Hannah Montana song to me.”

Louis gaped at him, surprised at his sudden confession. “Oh.”

“I have little sisters who play her music. I didn’t mind, actually. Just wanted to talk to you.” He then put his arm low on Louis’ back, rubbing circles, and Louis suddenly felt extremely uncomfortable. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.

“Sorry,” Louis chuckled nervously, moving away so that Drew would take his hand off of him. He didn’t. In fact, he wrapped it around Louis’ waist and pulled him closer.

His hot breath hit Louis’ neck as he leaned down and whispered. “Come on, now. Don’t run away. You did all that just to run away?”

Louis shook his head, desperately looking around for his friends. He could spot Liam and Niall a few feet away. They were absorbed in whatever they were doing and Louis spotted a giant bulge in Niall’s pants, which he presumed was the banana. He tried to move towards them, but the arsehole had a death grip on him.

“Let me go,” Louis said. “I take it back.”

Just as Drew was about to say something, Louis felt someone pull him back and release Drew’s grip. Louis turned to see Harry and sighed deeply in relief. Thank God. He’d almost forgotten Harry was there.

“A problem, mate?” Harry asked him, his frown deep.

“No problem,” Drew shook his head, looking between them. “Just having a drink.”

“Seemed to me he didn’t want to have a drink with you,” Harry retorted.

Drew scoffed. “He was gagging for it. Chatting me up with bloody _Hannah Montana lyrics_.”

“I’d be more careful about how you speak about my boyfriend,” Harry said, putting his arm around Louis’ waist. “You’re lucky I’m not punching you in the face and breaking that stupid mouth of yours right now. Talk to or touch him again and you won’t be so lucky anymore.”

Drew looked at them for a moment before cursing under his breath and walking away. Louis sagged against Harry’s arm and turned to him. “Thank you,” he said. “Shit, what a failure that was.”

“No,” Harry shook his head. “Fuck the game, okay? Are you okay?”

Louis nodded his head, feeling hot under Harry’s attention. His arm was still around Louis and it felt weirdly good. It was comforting and a little nice.

“I don’t think you should talk to anyone at this bar. We’ll skip out on those tasks. It doesn’t matter. We’ll lose if we have to. I just want you to be safe.”

“Thank you,” Louis said, putting his arms around Harry in a hug. Harry kissed the top of his head and they pulled away, walking back towards the other guys. They came just in time to see Liam making another guy extremely uncomfortable.

“How’s your mum doing?” Liam asked the random guy. “Does she remember those cookies she made for us when we were kids? I miss them so much, mate. So delicious, they were,” Liam sighed wistfully.

Harry and Louis burst out laughing at the guy’s reaction, who looked like he wanted to run the other way.

“Anyway, do text me here and now,” Liam told him. “I’d love to get together and talk about Mipsy. Do you remember? She’s a doll, right? I’ve got to get going. Nice running into you!”

Liam gave him one last, extremely stiff hug, and they all walked back to our booth. Louis noticed Niall still had the banana in his pants. He poked it and Niall laughed, pushing him away to get it out. Once seated, Liam pulled out the sheet and crossed out three of the things. He looked up at Harry and Louis.

“Did you pull anyone?”

Louis shook his head sadly. “I tried, but--.”

“--The guy was a complete wanker,” Harry interrupted him. “I couldn’t let him go on with it. He was a fucking dick. Kept touching Louis when he wasn’t even comfortable. I would have punched him in the face.”

The boys looked worried at that and stared at them with wide eyes. “Are you okay?” Liam asked Louis.

“I’m fine,” Louis told them. “He just a got a bit hands on and I wasn’t...I don’t know. I can’t do it.”

“It’s stupid,” Harry said. “Let’s skip out on those. What have we got left?”

“Kick a ginger.”

“Do we know any gingers?” Liam asked, thoughtfully.

“We could kick Oli,” Louis smirked. “God knows I’ve been wanting to kick that little twig in the arse for days.”

“Nice,” Niall high fived him. “Oli’s so slimy. El told me he was coming on to her and every one of the girls at the last party.”

“Let’s head over to the dorms then,” Harry grinned, standing up and leading their pack out of the bar.

+++

It took them ten minutes to run to the dorms where Oli stayed. There was a party being held there and it seemed people were winding down. Several people were passed out on flat surfaces while others were drinking and talking with their friends. The four of them had to ask around a bit before they found out Oli had gone back to his room with a girl. Perfect.

When they found his room, Louis knocked on his door repeatedly until Oli opened, looking peeved. “What are you guys doing here?” he asked.

“Oli,” Louis began. “I’m really sorry, but...” He swung his leg and kicked Oli on the shin, making him fall back in pain. The girl he was trying to pull looked alarmed, but didn’t move from her spot.

“What the fuck?” Oli cried.

“Actually, I’m not really sorry,” Louis told him cheerfully.

“What is going on? El came here a while ago and did the same.”

They all started to laugh and walked out. “So, we’re pretty much done, yeah?” Niall asked, bouncing on his feet and kicking rocks on the ground as they wandered around campus.

“Yeah,” Liam nodded. “Sans the few that we deemed too inappropriate. Think the other team did it?”

“Probably,” Harry shrugged. “Doesn’t matter. We’ll buy them all the drinks.”

It made Louis feel strange that Harry was so protective and adamant about his safety. Strange as in a really good feeling in his stomach that he associated with having butterflies. He hadn’t had them in forever, so it felt foreign. He surely didn’t expect to have it about a friend, either. Harry was just being a good mate, really. Coming to his rescue and looking out for him, so it wasn’t all that weird. Louis was only making it weird in his head when it didn’t need to be.

Louis quickly shook those thoughts away and focused on his friends. Niall and Liam were prancing and dancing around in front of them while Harry watched them with an amused smile. Louis felt his phone vibrate in his pocket.

He fished it out and saw it was a call from El. He pressed answer and put it to his ear. “Hey.”

“Hey,” she giggled. “Are you guys done?”

“Have been for a while. We’ve just walked around campus a few times. What about you?”

“Just finished. Do you all want to meet at Queen’s Lawn?”

“Alright. We’re actually not too far from it. See you in a bit,” Louis told her.

“Ta,” she said, giggling again and hanging up. Louis had a feeling she was drunk.

“Guys,” Louis said, stopping them in their tracks. “The other team just finished. Said to meet at Queen’s Lawn.”

They all walked towards the center of the university and found the others already there. They were all clearly drunk because they could be heard singing Justin Bieber songs from half a mile away and dancing in an uncoordinated manner.

“Look who it is,” El said once she spotted them.

“Say, El,” Taylor started. “Does that look like the walk of defeat or what?”

“I say it does,” she thrust a hand up in the air. Ed and Zayn cackled, sharing a bottle of beer between themselves.

“I’m guessing you did everything on your list,” Liam said, crossing his arms, defensively.

“You didn’t?” Zayn asked.

“We left out three things, but in our defense, they were rather problematic. We tried, though. I’m sure Harry’s got the video.”

“I do,” Harry said. “Like Liam said, we tried, but it backfired.”

“Which ones didn’t you do?” El asked.

“Picking up someone at the bar, kissing a stranger, asking to marry them, and spanking them. We tried doing a few of them in one, but that one was not working out. Louis was chatting someone up, but he was a right skeez,” Harry told them as if he still couldn’t believe it.

“Are you alright?” El asked Louis, suddenly concerned.

Louis sighed, nodding his head. It was getting a little embarrassing how many times he was being asked this. “Fine. Everything else was done.”

“Well, we did those tasks,” Zayn said. “Didn’t go to a bar. Just went to the frat house. I kissed some drunk girl, asked her to marry me, and spanked her when we were dancing. And it was all consensual because she told me she was into me for awhile.”

El nodded her head, agreeing. “It was a good thing we had Zayn to do those tasks because who doesn’t want Zayn to violate them?”

“True,” almost everyone said, nodding their heads in agreement.

“Why didn’t we think of a party?” Louis asked Harry. “That’s brilliant. Everyone’s drunk and making out, anyway.”

Harry shrugged meekly. The next half of their night consisted of exchanging videos and pictures of all their tasks. It was funny and in the end, it really didn’t matter who won and who didn’t. They all had a lot of fun and ended up drunk in the middle of Queen’s Lawn because Ed brought a whole case of beer. The night ended with all eight of them tangled up on the grass, singing songs, and laughing about the stupidest things.

 

+++

Harry and Louis decided to build a little city with their Legos in Lego Club that week. Harry set about making all the buildings while Louis made the ground and the area around it so that Harry could easily put in the buildings. This club had seemed pointless to Louis at one point, and he thought that maybe it could just be fun, but it was actually rather therapeutic.

As he was making some finishing touches on the little park area, he felt his phone vibrate and picked it up to open his texts.

 

“Heeeey,” Harry whined, diverting Louis’ attention from the phone back to him. “What are you doing, texty texty? I feel neglected.”

“Sorry,” Louis said, putting his phone down. “Dean texted me.”

Harry smirked. “Oh, yeah? What’s he saying now?”

Louis shrugged, sliding over his phone so Harry could see for himself. After reading, Harry laughed and then Louis started to laugh, too. “It’s really not that funny.”

“It’s not,” he agreed with Louis, going back to his building. “But, it’s just sad. Which makes it funny.”

“I suppose you’re right.”

“So what are you going to do now?” he asked.

“I think I’m just going to avoid it. Like, maybe if I don’t react, he won’t be inclined to flirt with me all the time.”

“Maybe,” Harry shrugged. “Or he could keep trying and one day you might snap.”

“I won’t snap at Dean,” Louis shook his head. “He’s so nice.”

“He is. Remind me again why you don’t like him?”

“No chemistry. You need chemistry to be with someone, am I right or am I right?” Louis said emphatically. Harry hummed in response. “By the way, how are you doing on all that stuff with Xander?”

Harry shrugged. “I’m doing pretty good, actually. Moving on gradually. Not really thinking about it these days. I’m taking your advice and just keeping busy.”

“That’s good. In no time, you’ll be ready to date again.”

“ _Yaaay_ ,” Harry said sarcastically. Louis flicked a Lego at him and Harry laughed. “I’m not thinking about that at the moment. Probably because I haven’t seen or found anyone I like. I don’t really casually date. Actually, I never have. That’s probably why I haven’t really considered it.”

“Just dating is okay,” Louis said. “You don’t always need to be in a long term committed relationship. Loads of people do it. Are you looking for any type of boy in particular? Or girl.”

Harry shrugged again. “Maybe someone who has the same ambitions as me. Like, well on with his or her studies. Someone who has the same humor as me. Same outlook on love like me.”

“You basically want your own clone.”

Harry shot Louis a look while Louis giggled. “Not really. But compatibility is nice, don't you think?”

“You might as well just date El then,” Louis laughed out loud. “You’re both going to be bloody lawyers. You both make horrible jokes. And you’re both the biggest romantics. A match made in heaven.”

Harry narrowed his eyes and his mouth dropped. “El?”

Louis nodded.

“El is...El is El. No, what?”

Louis cackled. “Relax. You’re not going to marry her. I only just said it as a joke. Ignore me.”

Harry seemed to relax a bit more after that, but Louis could tell Harry was still thinking about it because he wouldn’t stop frowning down at his legos for the longest time. Louis decided not to comment furthermore because he genuinely had been kidding. He honestly doubted El and Harry would _ever_ be a thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next update will be sunday! thank you :)  
>   
> [tumblr](http://quitefinishedlarry.tumblr.com/) / [fic page](http://quitefinishedlarry.tumblr.com/yail) / [chapter post](http://quitefinishedlarry.tumblr.com/post/135941708395)


	7. the one where zayn has boobs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> big thanks to [mac](http://realitybetterthanfiction.tumblr.com/) as usual for helping me beta! this chapter is relatively short compared to a few others, but some big things happen! it might seem like nothing at the moment, but in hindsight you'll see that some of these events will slowly lead up to a bigger one. some of these moments will lead up to something stronger. hope you enjoy!

        

“Backseat Freestyle” blared off the speakers and Harry and Louis raised their red cups in the air, swaying and shaking their arses to the beat. They were doubled over in laughter, trying not to spill their drinks with their enthusiastic dance moves.

It was Halloween and Theta Chi was throwing the biggest bash on campus. The entire frat house was more packed than any other weekend. The costumes were all over the board this year. Some were funny, like Taylor the pegacorn, which made Harry choke on his drink from laughing so hard. And then some were scary, such as the one guy who walked in wearing a Twisty the Clown costume. Louis almost elbowed him on the face when he got too close. Louis was _not_ fucking playing with that shit.

Nothing, however, could beat how good Ed and Zayn looked. The two of them went all out with their costumes and makeup. Zayn dressed up as a woman. He called it his sexy secretary costume and had actual boobs and cleavage. A few guys even tried to make passes at him not recognizing who he really was. Ed, on the other hand, was Chucky the killer doll and gave almost everyone a scare that night.  

Louis got insanely lazy with his costume this year and decided to pop into the shop with Harry the day before the party because Harry was in the same boat as well. They both browsed through the leftover costumes, since everyone had already taken the good ones, and settled on a carrot suit for Louis while Harry chose a banana one. They almost looked like they were coordinating what with the produce theme. The costumes were so bad, but funny because they looked like morons.

In the end, it didn’t matter that much because Harry and Louis were having a great time and were also very, very _drunk_. They started drinking as soon as they’d come in, taking a few shots with their friends before mixing their own drinks and dancing with their cups in their hands.

Niall, who was dressed up as Prince Charming, shimmied over to them, despite the grim look on his face. “What’s the matter, Niall?” Louis asked.

“Barbara brought a date tonight,” he sulked. “Why -- why would she do that? I thought we had something.”

“Well, you haven’t even asked her out yet,” Harry slurred. “What do you expect? Time’s ticking, Ni. Everyone’s gotta get a move on.”

“I just need a little time. This is all so new to me,” Niall pouted. “Besides, if she wanted me to ask her out, then why would she bring a date to a frat party?”

“Maybe she’s, like, super into you, right?” Harry reasoned, his words slurring. Niall nodded, enthusiastically, clearly liking where this was going. “And she’s always, like, got her eyes on you.”

“You’re everything that she sees,” Louis sang, imitating his perfect Drake voice.

Harry and Niall snorted at him before Harry continued, “But she’s waiting for you to just realize that you two are meant to be and stuff. And, like, she knows that you need a push because you’re, like, a piece of shit.”

Louis narrowed his eyes, wondering what the fuck Harry just said. “Harry,” he quipped, frowning and cocking his head to the side. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

Harry turned to Louis, giving him an unamused look. “ _Harry,_ ” he imitated, making his voice high pitched. “ _What the fuck are you talking about?_ ”

Louis frowned harder and pouted. “What?”

Harry laughed, grabbing his hand and pulling Louis close to his chest. “Your voice gets super high pitched when you’re drunk and confused, did you know? It’s usually raspy ‘n stuff, but right now it got so high. Makes me laugh. So much.”

Louis mocked him, sticking his tongue out and rolling his eyes. “Yeah, well yours gets unreasonably deep. You sound like a man.”

“I am a man,” he told Louis, trying to look macho and puffing out his chest.

Louis laughed, pushing him back by poking Harry’s chest until he deflated it and laughed with him. Harry grabbed Louis’ finger and squeezed it, making Louis cringe and try to pull away. Once he let go, they both dissolved into giggles again before turning back to Niall, who was watching them with a curious expression. Louis smiled at Niall as Harry slung his arm around Louis, swaying to the Big Sean tune that was blasting on the speakers.

“Don’t worry about Barbara,” Louis told Niall. “You need to know that you’re a good guy and she’s missing out.”

“ _And_ that she’ll come around,” Harry added, grinning.

Niall nodded, shrugging his shoulders. “I suppose. We’ll see. I’ve been pretty celibate since I met her.”

“You were making out with what’s her face a few days ago,” Harry reminded him.

“Making out and having sex are different things, Styles. Celibate means I haven’t had sex. A person _needs_ sex. Making out doesn't fucking cut it. Gosh, Harry, you’re so drunk you’re forgetting your vocabulary and saying stupid things.”

“Blame Louis. His idea to get so drunk. He got me drunk.”

“‘M just trying to live it up,” Louis said, smiling cheekily.

“Alright, you two enjoy, I’m going to go find Zayn or Ed to go for a smoke.” Niall walked away and left the two of them on their own.

Louis turned to Harry, pursing his lips. “Want to go for a refill?”

“Sure,” he nodded giddily, like it was the best thing Louis’d said all evening. They took their cups and walked to the kitchen where they found El, Liam, and Zayn stood together and chatting. El was a zombie, but in a hot way. Liam was Batman and looked terrifying and huge. It was kind of hot.

“Hiiii guys,” Harry said, grabbing them into a big group hug, everyone’s heads knocking together.

Louis laughed, taking Harry’s cup from his hand before refilling it with whatever alcoholic drink he could find and a splash of coke.

“You alright, H?” Zayn asked, fondly ruffling Harry’s hair under his costume.

“Amazing,” he replied, pulling away and freeing all of them so he could poke Zayn’s fake tits. “What’s up with you guys? Didn’t see you out on the dance floor. Lou and I’ve been tearing it apart. We’ve got some killer moves.”

El laughed. “I noticed you two doing the whip and the nae nae. Classic.”

Harry smiled at her and Louis noticed Harry giving her a once over before taking his cup back from Louis. Louis’ lips pulled into a thin line as he turned to look at El as well. She was gorgeous, no doubt, with her all black outfit and long legs on display. Louis wondered if Harry thought so, too. What was Harry thinking? Why was he checking her out? Why did Louis even care? Why did he always get so curious whenever he drank too much?

“Earth to Louis,” Zayn said, crowding up in Louis’ face and waving his hand a few times. Louis blinked and realized he’d zoned out. Zayn smiled at him.

Louis laughed nervously; almost afraid they heard what he was thinking about. Which was bizarre because why would they? “Yeah?”

“We were just asking if you’d seen Dean,” Zayn said.

Louis frowned because when did _Dean_ come up in conversation. “No,” he shook his head. “I haven’t seen him at all.”

“He’s been making it a point to ask everyone whether you and Harry have couple costumes on,” Liam informed him. His mask was massive and Louis could hardly see his face. He hoped Liam could breathe under there. He was suddenly very concerned. Also, very fucking drunk.

Louis frowned even harder. “He asked that?”

“They’re not couple costumes. He’s a carrot and I’m a banana. They just look similar because it was all the shop had,” Harry laughed. “Besides, Dean should really get a hint and back off. Lou’s obviously not into him.”

“Some guys are optimistic,” Zayn piped up. “Like our dear, old Niall.”

“Niall is sort of justified,” Liam said. “Barbara does show signs of interest in him on account of how many times they’ve hooked up.”

“I just wish there was an easier way to tell a guy that you’re just not interested but still want to be friends without sounding like a complete dick,” Louis said to them.

“Being direct has never failed,” El advised, which made Zayn start to laugh.

“Like I said, I’ll sound like a dick,” Louis told them.

The five of them continued to chat until everyone rushed back to the dance floor when the new Maroon 5 track came on. El and Louis took out their living room dance routine that they’d been practicing. Needless to say, it was a hit. Even Ed, Taylor and Niall joined in. Ed was doing a weird shimmy thing with Zayn, whose fake tits kept jiggling, making everyone laugh. Once the song switched over to an Iggy Azalea track, everyone dispersed in different directions, but Harry and Louis lingered on the dance floor, trying to rap along even though they didn’t know all the words. After a while they gave up and walked over to a couch that was left vacant after a couple who were furiously making out decided to take it upstairs. Harry slumped down beside Louis.

“Hey Louis,” Harry said.

Louis hummed in response.

“Does El ever talk about me?” he asked.

“What?” Louis turned to him.

“Does she talk--. Never mind. Ignore me.”

“No,” Louis insisted, scooting closer. “What’s up?”

“I don’t want to ask anymore,” Harry said, looking red in the face.

“Why not?” Louis asked him.

“It’s stupid. Please, change the topic. Want to play a game?”

“What game?”

“This or that,” he laughed. “I’ll start. Channing Tatum or Zac Efron?”

Louis bit his lip, giving it some serious thought. “I think Zac Efron.”

Harry raised his eyebrows, looking shocked. “I’d have picked Channing, but whatever. _Titanic_ or _The Notebook_?”

“ _Titanic_ , hands down.”

“Good choice,” Harry commended. “King’s College or Imperial.”

“Imperial,” Louis smiled.

Harry grinned, full on before continuing. “Zayn or me.”

“You,” Louis said dramatically. “Always you.” He paused for a moment. “But don’t tell Zayn.”

Harry laughed. “Alright, I won’t. Okay. This next one’s crucial...oranges _or_ bananas?”

“I hate bananas. I’ll have to go with oranges,” Louis replied. Harry gave him one short look before scooting to the other end of the couch. Louis stared at him dumbfounded. “What?”

“Friendship over,” he said, yelling dramatically.

“Oh my god,” Louis cried, laughing. “What?”

“I said _friendship over,_ ” he repeated. “Honestly, who the fuck picks oranges over bananas? Are you joking?”

“They’re not that good to me,” Louis said. “The texture in my mouth feels weird. But listen, I know you’re passionate about bananas, though. I respect you.”

“You’re _insane_ ,” Harry said, making Louis laugh again. Louis scooted down the couch until he was next to Harry again. It only took a minute of cuddling until their friendship was back on once again.

The party wore on for a few more hours, everyone going hard even though the sun was soon to be coming up. When Louis could no longer feel the bones in his body, he decided to find El and head back home. However, as he searched through the frat house, he couldn’t find her anywhere. “I can’t find El,” Louis said to Harry, after looking in every room upstairs.

“Where is she?” he asked, frowning.

Louis shrugged. “I think I’ll have to go on my own. It shouldn’t be a problem.”

“I’ll walk you home,” Harry offered. “I don’t want you going out alone. There’s all sorts of crazies at this school.”

Louis laughed harder than necessary. “You’re right. Wouldn’t want to be mugged by a guy dressed as a giant baby with huge, fake diapers.”

Harry shook his head as though what Louis’d said was preposterous. “Definitely not. C’mon then.” The two of them grabbed their coats and left the frat house in all it’s after party glory...tons and tons of red cups on the floor, people passed out in different areas, and the smell of booze and weed all over.

When they stepped out, the air was a lot fresher, but misty and cold. “It’s chilly,” Louis said, pulling his jacket closer.

“Yeah,” Harry agreed. “Almost winter, innit?”

Louis hummed in agreement and felt Harry move in closer, their body heat melding together. Louis smiled to himself and he had no idea why. Maybe he was still drunk.

“I’m going to have the worst hangover tomorrow,” Harry lamented after a while.

Louis laughed, throwing his head back. The sky was slowly turning a dark shade of blue. “I am, too. It’s going to be so great. Especially with all that revision I’ve put off.”

“The party was fun,” Harry conceded. “I haven’t gotten this drunk in a while, though. Last time was probably sometime in summer with the boys. So, this would be my first time this school year.”

“What party over summer did you get drunk at?” Louis asked him.

“A party at Ed’s. He has one every summer, or did these past four years that we’ve been in Uni. It’s been a proper rager every time. Everyone and their moms come and it goes on till the afternoon the next day. I don’t think anyone is remotely sober at that party _ever_.”

“I’ve gotta go if he ever has one again,” Louis smiled.

“He probably will,” Harry replied. He quieted down for a bit and then grinned. “Did you hear Niall and Barbara had a fight and then started making out in the kitchen?”

“When was this?” Louis asked, eyes wide in excitement.

“When you and Liam were on the porch. But it was super dramatic. I’m sure this means they made up, though. El was trying to Snapchat the whole thing, but kept laughing.”

Louis shook his head in a disapproving manner. That was so like El. She _loved_ drama. “Speaking of her, where the fuck did El even go? I lost track of her after dancing with her.”

“Maybe she got lucky tonight,” Harry said, grinning.

“She did look hot,” Louis agreed.

They continued to talk about their friends and the party as well as stupid things in between, like the new Adele album and a random episode of _How I Met Your Mother_ that they were still laughing about. They were having so much fun, that by the time they got to Louis’ flat, they almost walked right past it. When they were at the front door, Louis fished out his keys from his pocket.

“Thanks for walking me home,” Louis said to Harry, smiling.

“It was my pleasure,” Harry smiled back.

“Hope you survive the hangover tomorrow.”

“God can only save me from that,” he laughed.

“Alright, I guess I’ll go,” Louis said.

“Yeah,” Harry nodded, smiling softly. “Give me a hug before you go, though.”

Louis laughed again, wondering to himself what the hell he found so funny, and walked towards Harry. Harry had his arms wide open and enveloped Louis without hesitation. Louis’ arms wrapped around Harry’s neck and nuzzled his head into the crook of his shoulder, his skin warm against Louis’ nose. And it dawned on him that, wow, this was a _really_ nice hug. It made Louis feel warm inside despite the chill in the air. Harry held on tightly to his waist and sighed softly, swaying them a little. Louis held on tighter after that, not wanting to let go. Not by a long shot.

They did pull away, though, after what seemed like ages, both of their cheeks warm and red. “Goodnight,” Louis whispered to Harry.

“Sweet dreams,” Harry replied before turning around and walking back towards his flat. They waved to each other once more before Louis walked inside.

+++

After Halloween, Louis pushed himself to get back into the swing of things as far as his academics went because he’d been slacking. He caught up on all his course work, despite having the worst hangover he’d had in ages, and pushed through a ton of revision. Mid terms had just ended, so every professor was gearing up for finals, which made him really nervous. Finals were the worst time in every uni student’s life. However, despite the start and the middle being grueling and tough, the end was sweet.

After one of Louis’ classes the following week, he was walking out with a few of his classmates, discussing an upcoming exam, when he noticed Harry and El walking out of a building nearby.

He wanted to go over and say hi, but George from Accounting was talking about bank reconciliations and adjusting entries, so he didn’t want to interrupt him. Instead, Louis nodded his head politely, hoping George would hurry up.

When Louis glanced back at his friends, he noticed that Harry was making rather big gestures with his hands and telling El something, making her laugh extra hard. Louis wanted to be in on the joke, but for some reason, he felt weird about approaching them all of a sudden. It looked like they were in their own bubble, and if Louis walked over he’d ruin it, which he didn’t want to.

It was strange, but with some things Louis’d been noticing, maybe not so much.

Sunday after Halloween, Louis’d found out that El had somehow passed out in one of the guys’ (his name was Calum something) room at the frat house, and when Louis’d gone searching Calum had locked it so that no one could go in and disturb her. As the day progressed, Louis remembered parts of the party, despite most of it being a drunken haze.

For instance, Harry’d been openly checking El out, asking about her, etc. Was Harry taking what Louis’d said to him that day at Lego Club seriously? Was he actually into El and trying to pursue her? Louis wouldn’t find it weird if Harry was thinking about getting back into dating again. Harry was a bit of a hopeless romantic. He liked the concept of love and being in love. He liked being with someone. Louis didn't think that he’d enjoy being single for too long.

On top of that, Louis genuinely thought Harry was well on the way to getting over Xander. He hasn’t mentioned him much lately and his urges to call him or meet him had lessened with time. That part was good because they’d all been worried that the process would be really difficult for Harry. However, he’d been handling it great so far. He and Xander seemed to be on okay terms after everything.

So, the idea of Harry wanting to move on and see other people wasn’t weird. What was weird was seeing him with El. The idea of _them_ was weird.

+++

“Have I told you I want to get another tattoo?” Louis asked.

Harry raised his eyebrows and looked at Louis, taking a small sip of his hot coffee. The two of them had ventured out on another coffee run, except this time since the weather was getting colder, they were sat inside the car with the heat on blast. They’d pushed their seats back and lifted their feet up on the console; very comfortable and warm.

“Do you now?” Harry asked.

Louis nodded. “I do. I’ve been waiting a bit, but I think I’m ready.”

“What do you want to get?”

“I’m thinking a rope around my wrist,” Louis said, raising up his hand to show exactly where. “It’ll break off on the underside.”

“That’s pretty,” Harry mulled. “It’d match my anchor.”

“Oh, yeah! I guess you’re right. We’d be matching,” Louis grinned. “Anyways, reason I’m telling you about this is because I want to know if you want to come with me when I get it? I figured you’d know some good tattoo parlors around here seeing as you’ve got 500 on yourself.”

“A little over fifty,” he corrected Louis. “But yeah, I’ll go with you. Mum’s made me promise her over the summer not to go into any tattoo parlors for at least a good six months so I’m not tempted, but a little rule breaking never hurt nobody.”

“ _Will_ you be tempted?”

Harry shrugged. “I can handle it. She just doesn’t trust me.”

Louis shook his head, laughing. “Where do you get your ideas for your tattoos?” he asked, not being able to help myself. Ever since they’d met, Louis’d taken note of every one of Harry’s tattoos. Some of them were really nice, others hardly made any sense. Harry would tell him stories about how he got them, but not so much _why_. It seemed that he didn’t really tell anyone because not even the boys knew half of them. What he did tell Louis from time to time was that he really liked them. He’d always wanted them growing up and found the whole thing beautiful as an art form.

“I draw them mostly,” Harry said. “Or I’ll write down an idea. I’ve got this little black book full of drawings and scribblings that I keep for reference whenever I want a new one. All of the ones I’ve gotten have been from years of putting ideas down in that book.”

“I think I’ve seen it in your room before,” Louis said, curiously. “Can I see it?”

Harry shook his head. “Nope. Top secret, that.”

“Ah, can’t say I didn't try. I think my favorite tattoo of yours is probably the ship.”

“Yeah?” he asked. “The ship?”

Louis nodded. “It’s nicely drawn. Greatly placed.”

“You mean on my _big biceps_?” Harry asked, flexing them and looking cocky.

Louis rolled his eyes. “Wouldn’t make sense to have it where you have your butterfly, now would it?”

“No, it wouldn’t,” he laughed. “I think for me, my favorite out of all your tattoos would be...either the compass, or the bird, or the deer on your bicep.”

“Yeah?” Louis asked, smiling. “Those are El’s favorite, too.”

Harry nodded. “I like where they’re placed, too. Good ideas.”

Louis’ hands traced over where the tattoos were and his mind wandered over to El. “Speaking of El,” he said slowly, finally able to bring it up. Harry looked over at him, expression open and innocent. “I saw you two the other day at school.”

“Oh,” Harry said, laughing softly. “Would make sense since we all go to the same school.” Louis shot him a look and Harry laughed again, but said sorry before continuing. “But yeah, why didn’t you come over?”

“Looked...intimate?”

Harry frowned, the laughter gone from his voice. “Intimate? What are you talking about?”

“Well, I guess not intimate, but I felt like I’d be intruding.”

“You wouldn’t have been,” he said quickly.

Louis let the silence take over for a bit before looking back up at Harry. “Is there anything I should know? Like, I’ve been noticing…”

Harry shrugged. “I don’t know. Like, you remember when you mentioned it in Lego Club? I’ve been thinking about it since then. And, El’s great. She’s gorgeous and she’s smart. She really is what I described to you when I talked about my perfect person. So, I’ve been talking to her and it’s nice?”

“Of course it’s nice,” Louis said. “You’re friends. What do you want _now_ , though?”

“I don’t know,” he shrugged again. “Do _you_ think it could be something?”

Louis was quiet for a bit because, _wow_ , this was actually a conversation they were having. _El and Harry_. Louis let out a short laugh. “I’m not sure. I haven’t really thought about it. Do you want something to happen?”

“I don’t know.”

It seemed to be the only thing he kept repeating. That he didn’t know. And quite frankly, Louis didn’t know either. Louis wasn’t thinking about just El and how she’d be feeling about this, but he was strangely throwing myself into the mix. How would _he_ feel? Did he want them to date? It was then that Louis realized that it didn’t matter. It had nothing to do with him. This wasn’t up to him.

Harry was actually open to the idea and Louis was sure El would be, too. Didn’t she, herself, say she once liked Harry? So, it could maybe work. Strange as it may seem to Louis.

“Do you want me to ask her for you?” Louis asked, turning to Harry. “A test run?”

He shrugged for the hundredth time. “You could. I wouldn’t be opposed to it.”

“Alright, I’ll ask.”

“Thanks,” he turned to Louis, putting his coffee down, and rubbing his palms together. “I hope this isn’t weird?”

“No,” Louis shook his head. “Not weird. But we could switch the topic if _you_ feel weird?”

“Yeah, sure,” Harry nodded his head. “Can I tell you about the time I got these lyrics tattooed on my ankle?”

“Yeah,” Louis nodded, smiling at him.

The topic of Harry and El was soon forgotten as they shared stories and bounced off more tattoo ideas between each other. It seemed to be a good turn away from how intense it had gotten in the car earlier, however, it continued to nag Louis inside even after Harry dropped him off home around five in the morning with the sun slowly coming up.

Why was Louis feeling so weird?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading!!! i hope you are not turned off by the harry/eleanor thing because i assure you, it won't be anything to worry about. it's only a part of the fic to pave the way for some other things to happen, which you will find out very soon! next update will be on thursday!  
>   
> [tumblr](http://quitefinishedlarry.tumblr.com/) / [fic page](http://quitefinishedlarry.tumblr.com/yail) / [chapter post](http://quitefinishedlarry.tumblr.com/post/136088714940/fic-you-are-in-love-author-wildestdreams)


	8. the one where they watch porn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter came super early because i'm going on vacation! my flight is going to be in the afternoon and i wanted to get this out before i left for the airport. things are really getting a bit complex with everyone and the plot is thickening. for those who think "heleanor" will be a thing, please don't fret. this is all happening for a reason! big thanks to [mac](http://realitybetterthanfiction.tumblr.com/) for editing. enjoy :)

“So,” Louis said, hopping up on the kitchen counter and dangling his legs back and forth, looking at El as she chopped up some bok choy. “We haven’t gone out since Halloween.”

El nodded, not looking up from her cooking. She’d come in from class about an hour ago, showered, and then offered to make the two of them dinner since Louis was feeling extra lazy that day. It was nearly ready and the lovely smell from the baked ziti in the oven was enough to make Louis’ mouth water. “Yeah, everyone went so hard that night that we’re all sort of partied out. Maybe this weekend?”

“Yeah,” Louis nodded, watching her put the bok choy in the boiling water. “Harry was saying there might be something on this weekend.”

El hummed in response, still too busy cooking to even look at Louis.

“Speaking of Harry,” Louis continued, then paused for dramatic effect. “He’s cool.”

“Yeah,” El laughed, giving him a look before turning away again. “I know.”

“Pretty good looking too, you know?” Louis said.

El looked confused and paused. “Okay, yeah. He’s very handsome.”

“Like... _really_ nice, good looking, _smart_.”

“What are you on about?” she asked, laughing.

Louis shrugged. “Nothing. Just saying he’s an _amazing_ guy.”

“Oh my god,” El cried, stopping everything she was doing to turn and look at Louis. “Do you like him? Is that why you’re saying all this? You like him! I knew it was going to happen eventually.”

Louis’ mouth dropped and he gaped at El because this was _not_ how the conversation was supposed to go. She looked ecstatic, grinning from ear to ear, so Louis quickly shook his head. “No,” he snorted. “I don’t like him. When did I say that?”

Her smile started to fade and she frowned, instead. “You’re talking him up. Saying he’s good looking and stuff. What am I supposed to think? Plus, the pair of you are so close. I figured it would happen one day or another.”

Louis started to laugh because that was just _ridiculous_. Harry was such a _dude_. He was a bro. A pal. Louis could _never_. “Not quite.”

“So, _why_ are you talking him up then?” El asked, going back to finishing up dinner. The bok choy was nearly done and she was checking the ziti again.

“I just want to know whether you think the same,” Louis replied. “About all the things I just said.”

El gave him a quick glance before the oven started beeping, notifying them of the finished ziti. She grabbed the oven mitts and opened the oven, taking out the tray, before placing it on the counter. This conversation would have to wait a bit longer. Louis hopped off the counter and helped her take out plates, serving them both generous helpings of everything, before moving over to their little dining table. Once they’d grabbed tall glasses of lemon water and forks and knives, they finally settled down, ready to eat.

“I do think the same,” she said to Louis after taking the first bite, continuing the conversation herself. “Harry’s great. He’s my mate.”

“You did mention you once liked him,” Louis reminded her, trying not to moan from how good the ziti was. Bless El’s cooking abilities.

“Yeah,” she shrugged, “but it wasn’t serious since I thought he was just cute. Like, you know, a small crush. It didn’t last very long. Maybe, like, a second.”

“Well, now you know him as a person and spent time with him. How do you feel now?”

She frowned again, trying to figure out where Louis was going with this. To be frank, it was putting a lot of stress on him. El was smart, but at the moment she was being dumber than a loaf of bread. Harry had asked Louis as a friend to mention it to her to see how she’d react and if she’d be cool with maybe going on a date with him some time soon. Louis thought it’d be a walk in the park, but so far, it was just stressful and annoying how suspicious yet simultaneously oblivious she was being.

“Now we are friends,” she replied finally, albeit confused about whether that was the right thing to say or not.

“Yeah, I know you’re friends, but you used to like him,” Louis repeated, praying she’d catch on.

“What are you trying to get at?” she asked then, plain and simple. “Where are we going with this?”

“Harry wants to take you out,” Louis blurted.

El gaped at Louis, a bite of zitti only halfway in her mouth. “Are you joking?” she asked.

Louis shook his head. “We’ve been talking about it.”

“About what? Me and him?” she sputtered, eyes wide and confused.

Louis nodded. “You guys are very similar and it might not be a bad idea. He could be the one for you and you could be the one for him.”

“What the fuck are you on about?” El cried. “Here I am thinking you two are going to get together and you pull this on me and say he wants to take _me_ out?”

“Why is that so surprising?”

“It is. Everyone expects it happen between you two. Harry and I are nothing more than friends.”

“But you used to like him!”

“Yeah, like three years ago for five minutes,” she replied emphatically. “It was hardly anything in the grand scheme of things. I really hope you didn’t tell him I did, by the way. How did you two even come up with this idea? Was it you or did he ask?”

Louis sighed, slumping back in his seat. “It started because we were talking about him moving on. And he wants to try dating so he described his perfect person to me. What he described fit you.”

“Exactly me or...?”

“Kind of like you. It was vague, but in my head you fit the description, and then I suggested it and turns out he was into it. And then he asked me to mention it to you to see how you’d feel.”

El shook her head, disapprovingly. “You two are so insane.”

“It’s not that insane. You two could actually work,” Louis said.

“What if we don’t? How weird would that be? Besides, the only time we spend one on one is in class. Even then we don’t always sit next to each other. The reason I jumped to the conclusion of you liking him is because you’re with him way more than I am. _You two_ are the ones who spend a lot of time together.”

Louis groaned. “I wish you’d stop talking about me and him that way because there isn’t anything to talk about. Right now, he wants to take _you_ out. I think you should go for it. What do you have to lose?”

“His friendship. The group dynamic.”

“I know for a fact that you two are way too mature to ever let that happen.”

El sighed, toying with her food. “I don’t know. If he asked, I’d feel bad saying no, I guess.”

“Then say yes! It’s that simple.”

El didn’t say anything for a few moments, so Louis figured she was still thinking about it. He continued to eat, digging into his bok choy next. He loved bok choy, he really did, because El made it so well with oil and everything. Unfortunately, he’d underestimated how much he could chew and put in his mouth when El finally replied.

“I’ll think about it.”

“Ya--,” Louis started to cheer until the piece of bok choy he had in his mouth was halfway down his throat and half stuck to his teeth, so he started to choke. He coughed roughly trying to get it out, but it almost seemed hopeless. Was _this_ how he was going to die?

El bolted up out of her seat, screaming. “Oh my god,” she yelled. “Don’t choke!” She ran to the kitchen, helplessly, as Louis tried to down the bok choy instead of trying to cough it back out. He could see El laughing yet panicking at the same time as she grabbed napkins and threw them at him. “Stop choking! _Stop choking_!”

Louis started to laugh, seeing her so conflicted. That only seemed to make it worse, tears springing to his eyes as El threw more napkins at him. What the fuck were the napkins going to do?

Louis stopped laughing and focused, finally letting the leaf go down his throat. He quickly took a long sip of his water to wash it out. El stared at him from where she stood, panting from laughing and panicking. When Louis finally felt okay again, he started to giggle, as did she. Soon, they were both bent over, trying to catch their breaths again.

“I was so scared,” she screamed. “Shut up.”

“Yeah, is that why you were laughing and throwing napkins at me? Did you think the napkins were gonna help in any way?”

“I panicked!”

“You’re so stupid,” Louis wheezed, wiping the last tear out of the corner of his eye. “That was pathetic.”

“I genuinely had no idea what to do,” she said, still bent down on the floor. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” he said, chuckling. “Come on. I want to finish my dinner.”

“Fine,” she said, taking her seat again. “Just finish chewing before you talk again, you animal.”

Louis smiled, staring down at his plate, and then gulping. “I don’t think I want the bok choy anymore,” he told her meekly, pushing it to a far end of his plate. El laughed before giving him a kiss on his temple and going back to her food.

+++

Due to Harry’s vast number of tattoos, he knew a couple of really great places around campus where Louis could get his. Harry booked Louis an appointment at one of his favorite shops and drove him there to get the tattoo. Louis was somewhat nervous, but mostly excited. He always felt a bit of nerves before a tattoo, but it always went away once he got the ink. Very rarely did he regret one.

“You alright?” Harry asked, looking over at Louis from his driver’s seat.

Louis nodded. “I’m fine.”

“You seem antsy,” he remarked, looking rather cheeky and whimsical. “Nervous, are you?”

“No,” Louis replied quickly. “Just you know...the usual.”

Harry laughed. “It’s alright. I get like that, too.”

“I wouldn’t have thought. You’ve got, like, 500 tats on your body and some of them are rather large.”

“Doesn’t mean I don’t get a little shaken up before I get them. It’s a big commitment.”

“I know. Once I get it then I’ll be good, I think. I hope it comes out how I want it.”

“Tom’s great at it,” Harry proclaimed. “He’s one of my best mates, actually. Known him for ages. He does them on himself sometimes and he did a bunch for his wife, Lou.”

“That’s cute,” Louis smiled. “What a cool couple.”

Harry smiled back, continuing to drive through the quiet streets. “They’re amazing together. They’ve even got a little daughter. Her name’s Lux. Sometimes she’s at the shop.”

“How old is she?”

“I think about three or four,” Harry replied. “She loves me. Calls me Uncle Harry.”

How fucking adorable was that? Louis beamed to himself. They arrived at the tattoo shop shortly after and Harry parked a block away, the two of them walking to the shop together. When they walked in, Louis heard a squeal of laughter followed by a little blonde girl suddenly running right into him and then falling. He immediately bent down, making sure she was okay. The girl giggled to him, her big, blue eyes gleeful as she ran away again, back to where she came from.

“Lux,” a woman called, appearing from behind a door and quickly grabbing the little girl. “Shouldn’t have given you that chocolate bar. You’re so hyper tonight.”

“Hiii, Lou,” Harry greeted, walking further into the shop. Louis followed him as Harry walked over to the pair and gave them a hug and a kiss. Lux immediately took to Harry, climbing into his arms, and giving him a koala hug. “This is my friend, Louis. Louis, this is Lou. She’s Tom’s wife.”

“Hi,” Louis smiled, shaking her hand. “Nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you, too,” she smiled brightly. Just like Harry had mentioned, Louis noticed several tattoos on her body, including a few on her fingers.

Harry nudged Louis softly. “And this is Lux,” he cooed, introducing the two. “Lux, this is my friend Louis. From school.”

Lux turned to look at Louis and gave him a friendly, happy smile. “Hi,” she quipped.

Louis laughed fondly, taking one of her hands and letting her squeeze his finger.

“Are you here to get another one?” Lou asked Harry.

He shook his head, sadly. “Mum asked me to slow down. Louis is, though. He wants to get a wrist piece done. I booked an appointment with Tom.”

Lou gestured over to another corner of the shop. “He’s finishing up a previous booking. Will be with you guys shortly.”

“Alright,” Harry said, still fixated on Lux, who was starting to braid his curls. Or trying to at least. “Guess Luxy will have to keep us company, won’t you?”

She nodded her head, casually, as she twisted four strands together, frustrated that it wasn’t an actual braid.

“Good,” Lou said. “Can you tire her out for me? I’ve been trying to put Lux to bed for ages, but a customer came in and gave her a chocolate bar, and now she’s as hyper as ever.”

Louis laughed. “Sounds like Harry after coffee.”

The three of them stood there, chatting, and it turned out that Harry was a lot closer to this family than he let on. In some ways, it seemed that they were his family away from home. They lived in the flat above the shop and had a secret stairway that led upstairs. From what Louis could tell, Harry came over a lot. There were several nights a month that he came over for dinner. He even sometimes babysat Lux so that Tom and Lou could have a date night. It was a surprise Harry had never mentioned them in all their conversations.

After a while, Tom was done with the last customer and ushered them over. Louis sat down on the chair and introduced himself while Lou, Harry and Lux stood nearby, engrossed in their own conversation.

“So, what are you planning on getting?” Tom asked.

“I want a rope, criss crossed, right here,” Louis said, showing Tom his wrist. “And then I want it broken off on the underside.”

“Got it,” Tom replied. “Any special meaning?”

“Nothing too special. Just thought it’d look cool.”

“That’s cool. I’ve got a few of those,” Tom replied with a chuckle. “One of the best things about getting tattoos is that if it’s clever enough, it’ll leave people wondering what it’s really about. You could literally get a banana tattooed on you and people will start coming up with all these deep meanings, but realistically, you might just like bananas.”

“I love bananas,” Harry called over to them.

“We know,” they both replied, turning to each other, and laughing. After that, it wasn’t long until Louis heard the buzzing of the tattoo gun running.

+++

“Do you like your tattoo?” Harry asked, watching Louis as he examined his hand under the clear wrap.

It was actually exactly how Louis pictured it, the detailed rope, criss crossing and then tearing on his wrist. The process wasn’t all that bad either. Louis was well distracted by Harry and Lou chatting and keeping him in the conversation. Lux even came and held his hand for a few moments, wincing as the needle dragged on his skin, as though she was the one getting tattooed.

“I do,” Louis smiled. “Thanks for taking me.”

Harry grinned happily. They were back in his car, sat outside the coffee shop as per usual, and having a drink. Louis picked up his coffee cup and blew on it to cool it down before taking a sip. Harry was fiddling with the stereo, trying to decide on a song.

“So, I spoke to El,” Louis told him. Harry stopped fiddling and pressing buttons to look up at him. “About, you know, the whole thing.”

“Yeah,” Harry said quietly.

“She was surprised, to be honest,” Louis continued. “Wasn’t really expecting it. But, she said she’d be into it.”

“She said that?” Harry asked, surprise etched on his face.

Louis nodded. “Took her a little bit to consider it and then she said that she’d give it a shot.”

Harry was unreadable at first, staring into his coffee cup. Louis wasn’t sure if he was happy or upset. He wasn’t giving Louis much to work on. Eventually, Harry did look up and smiled softly. “Thanks for talking to her. I know it must have been a bit weird. Very sixth form of me.”

“Of course, H. It was no big deal,” Louis said to him. “You’re happy, right?”

He shrugged. “Feels a bit weird.”

“Weird, how?”

“I don’t know,” he shrugged again. “Do you wanna go for a drive tonight?”

Louis smiled and nodded his head, understanding that Harry didn’t really want to talk about it. He wasn’t sure if he’d have much to say, anyway. Harry put his coffee in the cup holder and shifted the gear shift to drive before pulling out of their spot and driving.

+++

Liam took the biggest bite of his cheeseburger that Louis’d ever seen a person take and grinned at him. “I’m so glad you came, Lou,” he mumbled, mouthful of food. “Otherwise, we’d have probably starved.”

“I second that,” Zayn agreed from the other couch as he dug into his chips. Ed and Niall were too busy eating to even say anything.

“Pleasure’s all mine, boys,” Louis laughed. “But why do I get the feeling you’re only glad I came over because I brought food?”

“Does it seem that way?” Niall asked, frowning.

“The way it seems is that you lot don’t nearly eat enough,” Louis replied.

“It’s not that,” Zayn shrugged. “Usually if Harry’s around he cooks and he makes sure there’s a lot in his portions, but most nights when he’s got class or he’s revising, it’s Ramen. Like, _lots_ of Ramen. We’re usually too broke to get anything like burgers and take-away more than maybe once a week.”

“That’s depressing,” Louis laughed, taking a bite of his own burger. “El and I both cook more nights than not. And we’re actually good.”

“I’m so jealous,” Zayn mumbled, sadly. “I miss home made cooking. And none of that pasta shit, you know? I want my mum’s biryani.”

Louis looked at Zayn, concern etched onto his features. He looked genuinely upset, but then Ed waved his hands off, disregarding him. “Don’t mind him,” Ed said. “A few weeks into term and Zayn always gets sick of all the white boys he lives with.”

“They can’t eat even moderately spicy food,” Zayn told him. “It’s so annoying.”

Louis started to laugh at the looks Liam and Niall threw Zayn. “We went to get curry with you that one time and we gave it a shot, didn’t we?” Liam asked, angrily. “I was sat on the toilets all night. My arsehole was never the same, Z. _Don’t_ give me that bullshit.”

Louis spit out his fry, choking and laughing all at once. Zayn, Ed, and Niall were laughing just as hard too, and Louis tipped his head back when he felt tears at the corners of his eyes. The banter continued like that for the rest of dinner as they asked Zayn about all the dishes his mum sends him from time to time. It was good fun watching Liam wince every time he heard of a spicy dish.

After dinner, they decided to pop in a movie, but none of them were really watching. Zayn brought out some weed and rolled up a joint or two, which they passed amongst ourselves, and they talked mostly.

“So, what’s with Harry and El?” Liam asked, looking at them. “Like, did anyone see that coming?”

“No,” Ed shook his head. “Even Taylor was confused when she heard.”

“He told me,” Louis said. They all turned to look at Louis with confused frowns on their faces. “It’s not that serious. I don’t think so.”

“What do you mean?” Niall asked.

“I mean that I don’t think either of them seriously like each other. I think they’re testing out the waters. Or at least Harry is. El didn’t want to do it initially.”

Louis widened his eyes, surprised that he’d even said that out loud.

The weed was making him say a lot more than he’d intended to. He couldn’t help it, though. He really did think that El and Harry both were lacking feelings for each other in that sense and that this was just a test run for not only El, but Harry as well. Harry wouldn’t have even went for this had Louis not jokingly said it to him. Harry probably took it to heart and thought he had no other options, which wasn’t true. Louis bet if Harry tried he could get whichever girl or boy he wanted. He didn’t have to resort to El even though she was gorgeous and amazing in every possible way. Harry didn’t have to force himself to have romantic feelings for her when they were better off as friends.  

Ed let out a soft laugh. “Harry tells you more than he tells us now, is that it?”

“Well, El is my roommate,” Louis told him. “He had me talk to her and I think that’s why I knew before you all.”

“Regardless, I find it a bit weird,” Zayn piped up. “I literally do not see them together.”

“Same,” Liam agreed.

Louis shrugged, feeling like if he continued this conversation, it would make him a traitor. He agreed with them, was the thing. He didn’t see Harry and El together. He didn’t see them in a relationship and it had just felt so _off_ watching them walk out of Louis and El’s flat together to their date a few hours ago. Harry had told Louis he would be taking El to get dinner and then a movie after if she wanted. Louis’d told him it was a great idea, but after seeing them actually go, he wasn’t so sure. And he felt like such a bad friend for even thinking this way because Harry had relied on him for this. Louis had been the one to first suggest it, and then helped it along by talking to El. Harry was so open and honest and nice, putting such faith in Louis. And El was Louis’ best friend and she hadn’t even been ready to accept it until he pushed her into it. Now Louis was feeling a bit uncomfortable for being in the middle of this and now second guessing it. Had he made a mistake?

It was why Louis bought all this food and came to distract himself at the boys’ flat. He knew they were all staying in and hanging out. Louis didn’t want to be alone at home, either, worrying about the situation with Harry and El.

However, he was feeling so guilty that in order to make the feeling go away, he decided to text Harry and ask him how the date was going.

 

“Guys,” Niall laughed from where he was sat. He had his legs propped up on one of the couches with his MacBook on his lap. “Grimmy just sent me a link and I think it’s porn.”

“What?” Ed asked, looking up from his own phone.

“Why is Grimmy sending you porn?” Zayn asked, taking the last drag of his joint. “That’s a little weird. Are you guys into each other or something?”

“He doesn’t usually. This would be the first time. I want to click on it.”

“That’s gross,” Liam said. “We’re in the same room, Ni. Don’t jerk off here.”

Ed and Zayn started to crack up and Louis did, too. “I say we watch it,” Louis said.

“Seriously?” Zayn asked, looking up at him.

“Oh my god,” Niall cried, laughing, and ignoring the rest of them. “I opened it. It’s gay porn and the guy looks _exactly_ like Liam.”

Louis had no idea who moved the fastest towards Niall, but the four of them somehow ended up tangled up on the small couch, trying to catch a glimpse of the video. When they did, they all let out a snort, while Liam gasped in horror. Niall turned up the volume and brightness to accommodate for all of them.

The guy in the video looked completely like Liam, right down to the hair cut and shape of his head as well as features. Even his body held a stark comparison. He was basically doing anal with whoever was lying face down on the bed. It seemed that they were on some terrace because it was dark out with some lamps lit up and the Liam doppelganger kept talking to the camera and smirking.

“Liam,” Zayn said calmly. “I’m going to ask this once and once only. Is that you in the video or not?”

“Shut the fuck up, Z,” Liam cried. “You know it’s not. What the _fuck_?”

“He could be your fucking twin, mate,” Ed remarked, still captivated by the video, eyes not wavering from it.

“I realize that,” Liam replied, biting his lip worryingly. “I hope whoever watches this who knows me, knows that that’s _not_ me.”

“What’s his name?” Louis asked, taking the laptop from Niall, and scrolling down to the video details. He let out a loud laugh when he found out. “His porn name is Painful Perfection.”

“Like your last name!” Niall laughed. “Payne-ful perfection, innit?”

“Oh, fuck me,” Liam grumbled, sliding down onto the ground.

“You’re doing the fucking, Li,” Zayn notified him matter of factly.

“Can we find this guy?” Niall asked.

“No,” Liam said, getting up, and walking into the kitchen. “Absolutely not. We close this tab and never speak of it again.”

“Aw, don’t be sad, Li,” Zayn said, calling after him. “Think of it this way. If any gay guy ever likes you, they can definitely watch this and try to live their fantasies out. How nice would that be?”

Liam flipped him off, coming back into the room with a water bottle in his hand.

  

+++

Louis went home a few hours later after having watched a few more videos of Painful Perfection with the boys while Liam grumbled about how sick and disgusting they all were. When he walked into his flat, he saw El already in her pajamas and sat at the dining room table, doing revision.

“Hi,” he smiled.

She looked up and smiled back warmly. “Hey, you. Was wondering when you’d get home. Have a good night?”

“Yeah,” Louis replied, toeing off his shoes and walking over to sit beside her. “I bought the boys burgers and chips, we had dinner, Zayn rolled up a few joints, but the best part was the porn.”

El’s eyes widened and Louis laughed.

“We found Liam’s doppelganger and he’s a gay porn star named Painful Perfection,” he laughed. El broke out into hysterical laughter, her head falling back. “But we kept saying how Liam’s last name is Payne so more like Payne-ful perfection. Liam hated it.”

“Oh my god,” El panted out. “That’s brilliant. You have to show it to me.”

“I have the link bookmarked on my phone,” Louis said. “But enough about that. How was your date?”

El shrugged and smiled, _politely_. It was the smile she used when she didn’t have anything interesting to say and was only doing it to keep the other person in the conversation happy. “Good,” she said. “We ate at a lobster place and then went to get gelato.”

“No movie?” Louis asked.

“I opted out,” she said. “I’ve got an exam in a few days and had to do revision. He did, too.”

“Oh,” Louis said. “So, that’s it?”

She sighed and shrugged, slumping in her seat. “I wish there was more to say. We literally talked about class and the squad. Nothing flirty or romantic.”

Louis nodded his head, biting his lip, and not sure what to say.

“I’m going to go back to revision, so I’ll talk to you tomorrow?” she asked, smiling.

Louis nodded before getting up and heading to his bedroom to freshen up and maybe start on his own coursework. He stopped before doing all that just to check his phone and see if maybe Harry had something to say, but the last text on their thread was from whatever they’d said back when he was with the boys. Louis put his phone down and sat down on his bed, trying to figure out his thoughts.

+++

Louis was sat at his desk, doing revision and listening to Nicki Minaj, when someone started to ring the doorbell incessantly. It interrupted him rapping the second verse in “Itty Bitty Piggy” and he was _so_ close to perfecting the whole thing in one go. He grumbled as he tried to quickly get up and run to the door. It was either going to be Niall or Taylor since they were the only two who insisted on ringing the doorbell like that.

“Took you long enough,” Taylor said, as soon as Louis opened the door. He noticed the bags by her feet and remembered that earlier El had mentioned that Taylor was planning on sleeping over tonight since she got into some fight with one of her suitemates.

“Nice to see you, too, Taylor. Welcome,” Louis remarked sarcastically, closing the door behind her. She hauled her duffel bag, a bag of take-away, and her purse before dropping everything in the living room.

“Gimme a hug,” she grinned, turning to look at Louis, and hugged him tightly.

He laughed, hugging her back. “Happy you’re here.”

“Happy to be here and glad to be away from that fucking pigsty of a suite,” she replied, pulling back. “Where’s Miss Eleanor?”

“She’s on a date.”

“On a date?” Taylor asked, confused.

Louis nodded his head, picking up the bag of take-away, and taking it over to the kitchen. Taylor followed after him. “Who is she on a date with?” she asked.

“Harry,” he replied, nonchalantly.

Taylor looked shocked as she took out the Thai food she’d brought, Louis’ mouth watering at the smell. Louis snorted at her expression, and took out the plates while she stood there, still paralyzed from the news.

“I’d thought that was a one off thing,” Taylor said, running a hand through her blond hair. “How many have they been on?”

“This is their second.”

“And why is this happening?”

That made Louis stop serving the food and laugh for a few seconds before shrugging. “I don’t know. Like, Harry was semi interested. I mentioned it to El and she wasn’t for it at first, but then she decided to give it a shot.”

“Wow,” Taylor remarked, leaning against the counter.

“To be honest,” Louis started. “It’s a mystery to almost everyone who knows. And El hasn’t really disclosed much to me about the dates, but if they’re on their second, I’m sure it’s going well.”

Taylor scoffed knowingly. “I think I have a good idea as to why she hasn’t disclosed anything about their dates _and_ why everyone’s confused about it. I feel like it probably has a lot to do with the fact that they’re too good of friends to even date. Don’t you see how bizarre this is, or is it just me?”

“Are you saying friends can’t date?” Louis asked, handing Taylor her plate, before starting to serve his own. “Because you know that’s just bullshit.”

“Of course friends can date, but friends who have good chemistry, like you and Harry.”

Louis let out a tired groan. “I honestly wish everyone would stop saying that because now it’s just starting to freak me out. I don’t know why everyone thinks Harry and I have this super romantic and sexy friendship. The guy has seen me at my ugliest and I’ve seen him at his worst. That’s not exactly screaming love. So, where the hell are you all basing this weird shit off of?”

“Are you sure?” Taylor cocked her eyebrow. “You honestly can’t see it? It’s so _obvious_. You two are so comfortable with each other. You understand each other and you work well together. There’s something there. It may not be all there quite yet, but it _could_ be and everyone can see that.”

“Too late now. He’s out with El.”

Taylor looked at Louis for a long time until she sighed and nodded. “Fine. I’ll drop it now. But I’ll have fun saying I told you so when those two don’t work out.”

“I’m not here to make bets on whether or not they’ll work out or not. It’s up to them, but the other boys seem to share your opinion. They didn’t get it, either.”

“I mean as long as they don’t end up making it awkward when they do end it,” Taylor replied, taking her plate, and walking to the dining table. They both sat down with their drinks, utensils, and napkins and started eating. “Anyways, what else is up with you?”

“Not much. Did you have your interview for that newspaper company you were talking about?”

Taylor shook her head, finishing chewing before replying. “Not yet. It’s later this week. I’m a bit nervous.”

“It’s a big one, right?”

“Yeah. I’ll get paid and it’ll be great on my resume if I can put in at least two terms. I need the money right now. You’re so lucky your mum gives you money to live on. My mum only pays for school and housing so far. The rest, which is like normal spending money, I have to get on my own.”

“My mum’s only allowing this until I graduate. After that she’s cutting me off cold turkey. Have to pay for rent and everything on my own.”

“Thought about any jobs or internships?”

“A few,” Louis nodded. “Will look into it during break so I can do it for next term possibly. My resume isn’t half bad. I looked at it the other day and it was decent from the few things I did while I was at King’s.”

“Oh, right. You did that one job for a website. That marketing thing, right?”

Louis nodded, taking a sip of his drink, before digging back into his food. The two of them caught up on the other aspects of their lives. Taylor told Louis about her suitemate masturbating in her bed every night even though other girls sleep there. After that, Louis told her about Liam’s porn star twin brother. Once dinner was done, he cleaned everything up, while Taylor went to go take a quick shower. As he was throwing out take-away bags and containers, the doorbell rang incessantly, again. Louis frowned because it could be only one other person since Taylor was in the bathroom.  

Louis walked over to the door and opened it, jumping back and getting startled when all the boys walked in howling and cheering as if they were walking into a party house.

“What are you all doing here?” Louis asked, closing the door behind them. Niall made a dive for the couch and Zayn and Ed pig piled on top of him. They were all fighting for the remote while Liam stood beside Louis.

“We got bored and decided to come see you guys,” Liam said. “Mind if I use the bathroom? I need to wee.”

“Yeah, sure,” Louis nodded before walking over to the other boys, making sure they didn’t rip each other apart or summat.

Louis grabbed the remote from them and laughed as they all grumbled. He turned on the telly and flipped to a movie channel. They were showing _Elf_ and the boys looked very pleased. “Isn’t it too early to be showing this?” Louis asked, putting the remote down on the coffee table.

“It’s never too early to watch _Elf_ , Lou,” Zayn admonished, cuddling up against Ed.

That was extremely true because everyone knew _Elf_ was the best movie ever made. Louis took a seat with the boys and they watched the movie in silence until they heard a loud shriek coming from the bathroom. All four of them lifted their heads up to look over to see what had happened. It was dead quiet for a few seconds, then Liam ran out of the hallway and back into the living room, his cheeks a bright shade of pink.

“What the hell just happened?” Louis asked.

“I walked in on Taylor naked,” he mumbled.

“What?” Louis asked.

“ _What_?” Ed repeated, eyebrows raised, and accusing.

“She was showering,” Liam explained timidly.

“I know,” Louis said, trying hard not to laugh, as he looked at Liam. “Tell me you went to the other bathroom and not the one she was using.”

“I went to the one she was using,” Liam sulked, sinking down in his seat. “The door was unlocked, so I walked in, and she was drying herself off--.”

Liam couldn’t finish because Ed had launched himself at Liam, putting him in a headlock. “You wipe that picture out of your mind or I swear to god, I’ll tell everyone about your weird collection.”

“What weird collection?” Zayn and Niall asked, interest piqued, their heads raised from where they were lying down.

Liam’s eyes widened, and he shook his head at Ed, pleading and begging. “I didn’t even mean to see her nude, mate. I swear.”

Ed glared at him for a few more minutes before letting him go. “Fine. But don’t make it weird. And I meant it about removing that mental image from your head.”

They all started laughing at that, while Liam hugged Ed and gave him a kiss on his head, trying to appease him. Five minutes later, Taylor walked out and tried her best to look like she wasn’t fazed by what had just happened. She took a seat next to Louis, wearing her flannel pajama set, and looked over at Liam.

“This isn’t over,” she said to him, easily assuming he’d told everyone, which he had.

Liam for the most part looked terrified and confused.

“What do you mean?” Ed asked curiously.

“I mean that I’m going to get him back for seeing me stark naked,” she replied defiantly, crossing her arms and turning towards the telly.

“It was only for like ten seconds,” Liam told her, his brown eyes wide, and apologetic. “It’s okay. Like, I respect you, Taylor. You’ve got a great body, but I still respect you.”

Zayn and Niall doubled over laughing at Liam being unable to explain himself. He sounded like an idiot. Instead of answering, Taylor stared him down until Liam accepted defeat, and focused on the movie. They all watched, laughing at all the good parts, and there was a really nice, warm feeling to this. All of Louis’ friends sat around in his flat with the heater on high, making it nice and toasty inside, and watching one of the best holiday movies. He wished nothing more than for things to stay this way, because he’d learned over the past few years that nothing stayed the same and nothing lasted forever. Especially when it came to your life and the people in it.

It was best to always cherish the moments as they were happening because there will come a day when you look back and miss it. Nostalgia was _real_ and it was _out there_. The last time Louis had something as special as a close knit group of friends like this was back in sixth form and he had really missed it. He wanted to hold on to this for as long as he could. It was hard to think that their friend group could just break and they’d all go their different ways when the time came. He really hoped they’d at least keep in touch, unlike his old friends from King’s.

It wasn’t until towards the end of the movie that Louis heard the flat door unlock and turned around to see El walking through. Harry was behind her, and they smiled, greeting everyone as they closed the door behind them and took off their coats.

“Lovely seeing you all here,” El said, making herself comfortable between Taylor and Louis.

“We decided to come over because we were bored,” Liam said, giving Harry some space to sit beside him. Harry snuggled up with Liam and sighed contently when he saw what was on the telly. It was quiet, but Louis knew everyone in the room had the same question on their minds.

_How was the date?_

The two were acting just as nonchalant as the first time and it was weird. What did they even do when they went out? _Something_ interesting must have happened.  

It was Taylor who decided to ask. “So, how was the date?”

El smiled, totally calm. “It was good. We went to that new Chinese place.”

“Food was great,” Harry replied with a smile, just as cool.

“Oh,” Taylor said. Louis could tell just from her expression that Taylor knew all she was getting from them was what they ate for dinner and not a single thing more.

“I did bump into an old friend,” El said, grinning wider. “Do you guys remember me telling you about Max?”

“Max from secondary?” Louis asked her.

She nodded giddily. “He was at the restaurant. Leaving when we walked in and it was so nice seeing him again. We exchanged numbers to get in touch again. Can you believe that? I haven’t seen him in so many years. I didn’t think I ever would again. He’s not on Facebook or anything.”

“That is amazing,” Louis chuckled. “Funny how these things happen. Has to be fate. How does he look now? Last time we saw him, he had such a baby face.”

“Who is Max?” Niall asked, interrupting them.

“El’s ex-boyfriend from when she was, like, fourteen,” Louis replied.

“And he looked like a baby?” Zayn asked.

Louis and El paused, unsure of how to answer. “He had a cherubic looking face. Like a baby,” Louis slowly replied.

“That’s gross,” Niall said.

“Yeah,” Zayn nodded. “You dated a baby.”

“Whatever,” El rolled her eyes at him before turning to Louis and Taylor. “I’ll give you guys the details later. I’m going to go change.”

With that, she stood up and walked to her bedroom, while the boys switched to _Home Alone_.

“Anyone want any more snacks?” Louis asked, getting up to get himself something to drink, and to stretch a bit.

“Have you got any soda?” Niall asked.

“I think,” Louis replied. “Ice or no ice.”

“Ice,” he replied.

“Bring me one, too, please,” Zayn asked with a smile.

Louis nodded, walking to the kitchen only to have Harry follow him in there. Louis smiled at him, noticing his outfit for the first time tonight. Harry was in a pair of his tightest black jeans with holes in them and a black button down shirt, however, the buttons were only half done leaving his chest exposed. He had a simple fedora resting on top of his curls and usually fedoras were despised, but surprisingly Louis found them to be really hot on Harry.

“Damn, Styles,” Louis commented. Harry was leaning against the counter, facing Louis, as Louis grabbed cups. Harry’s lips curved into a smirk and he quirked an eyebrow in confusion. “You clean up real nice for dates, don’t you?”

Harry let out a surprised laugh and smacked his knee, while throwing his head back. “Shut up, Tommo. You think I’m hot always.”

“Yeah,” Louis scoffed. “Sure, I do. Especially when you’re in your joggers with your dirtiest t-shirt and your hair isn’t even brushed. _Mmm_. So sexy.”

“Dirty clothes or not, I always look good,” he replied cockily.

Louis laughed, rolling his eyes, pouring the soda into the cups. “So, had a good night?”

“Yeah,” he shrugged. “Not better than El’s though. She was buzzing after bumping into her friend.”

“Right,” Louis laughed. “She used to really like him. But then he moved and all this shit happened. Weird how they ran into each other.”

“Glad they did,” he said. “It made her very happy. He looked proper excited, too.”

After Louis’d finished serving the drinks, he turned to look at Harry. “So, a third date coming up or...?”

Harry looked at him for a moment, and then a smile broke out, and he just shrugged. “I dunno. We’ll see. Could I get a hug, though? You look so cute in those pajamas. I need a snuggle.”

Louis laughed and walked into his open arms, letting Harry engulf him in them. Hugging Harry always made him smile a little wider and his heart feel a little lighter. When he pulled back, Harry was smiling down at him and Louis smiled back.

“Nice cleavage,” Louis said quickly, poking Harry’s nipple through his open shirt, and then running away with a cackle before Harry could catch him.

 

+++

The boys left soon after _Home Alone_ finished. Niall had fallen asleep halfway through the film and they practically carried him out like a baby. Taylor, El, and Louis cleaned up and sat down to talk about El’s reunion with Max. It was short, but she was glowing just by talking about him. Childhood sweethearts, they were, and El had always mentioned him from time to time.

“By the way,” Taylor said after they’d closed off the Max topic. “About your date tonight…”

El looked between the two of them and bit her lip. “Yeah... about that.”

“What’s the matter?” Louis asked.

“Well, I gave the dating thing a shot, Louis. And I don’t really feel any different.”

“You mean you don’t have feelings for him?”

She shook her head. “I tried. I really did, but I can’t very well force it, can I? And I don’t feel all that guilty because I think he’s on the same boat. It’s so platonic and all I keep thinking about is that you all guys should very well just be there with us. Like, it’s not even a date. It’s just odd and empty.”

“So, what now?” Taylor asked, giving Louis a look, which he knew was her form of _I told you so_.

El shrugged, looking down at her nails. “I tell him it’s best if we just remain friends.”

Taylor nodded, but then asked, “Did you ever kiss?”

“We literally only ever hugged goodbye,” El said. “It’s so weird. I feel like if we continue, it’ll be weird. And I don’t want to do it anymore.” She turned to Louis afterwards. “You’re not saying anything.”

“Don’t know what to say. I mean it’s your decision,” he responded.

“You’re not mad, right?”

“Why would I be mad?” Louis asked her.

She sighed heavily. “No, I guess you don’t have a reason to be. I should probably tell him soon. Maybe on Monday.”

“The sooner the better,” Taylor replied, nodding her head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> told ya not to worry! haha, the next ch is one of my faves!! it'll be up HOPEFULLY sunday. as soon as i get internet where i'm going. im gonna spend my time on my 20 hour flight writing on my other projects, but this will continue being updated. i'd love to hear what you guys are thinking. don't hesitate to leave a comment or shoot me a message!!  
>   
> [tumblr](http://quitefinishedlarry.tumblr.com/) / [fic page](http://quitefinishedlarry.tumblr.com/yail) / [chapter post](http://quitefinishedlarry.tumblr.com/post/136332674450/fic-you-are-in-love-author-wildestdreams)


	9. the one with blond harry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is one of my favorite chapters, so i hope you guys like it just as me and [mac](http://realitybetterthanfiction.tumblr.com/) did :)) a lot of things get set into motion in this one and i think this ch really brings the fic forward.

Louis spotted Niall outside of Huxley Building when he was walking out of there from his accounting class. Niall was sat on a bench, bouncing his knee up and down and texting on his phone, occasionally playing with the snapback on his head. Louis walked over with a smile and plopped down beside him.

“Hey,” Louis smiled.

Niall looked up and grinned, leaning over to give him a kiss on the side of his head. “Lou. Babe. Baby,” he cooed affectionately. “How are you?”

“I’m good. I just took an exam, so a bit tired and meh,” Louis replied, crossing his legs and turning so he was facing Niall.

“Did you do well?”

“I think so. I studied really hard,” Louis nodded. “But, what brings you here?”

“I just got done with classes. Was chilling and then Harry texted me. El told him before class today that she didn’t want to do the date thing anymore.”

“The _date thing_ ,” Louis said slowly with a smirk.

“You know what I mean,” Niall waved off, frustratingly.

Louis giggled and nodded his head. “I do, yes. El told us the night of their second date that she wasn’t feeling it. So, she wanted to end it. Is, um, is Harry okay?” Louis bit his lip nervously. Louis knew El had done it that morning, but he didn’t have the heart to ask Harry what he thought of all this. He didn’t even warn Harry and it made Louis feel like a traitor. Louis wondered if Harry’d get mad if he knew that Louis had known it was coming. It was kind of obvious that he would know, though, considering El was his best friend and flat mate.

Niall shrugged in response. “I think so? He’s not really that easy to read over text, you know? But from what he’s telling me, it seems like he’s taking it for what it is.”

“Oh, wow,” Louis said, turning away, and looking at the crowds of students going off in different directions towards their next classes. That didn’t sound so bad. Maybe Harry was fine and Louis had nothing to worry about.

Niall eventually stopped texting and put his phone away. “Anyways, what are you up to?”

Louis shrugged noncommittally. “Not much. I’m thinking of getting something to eat because I’m done for the day and super hungry.”

“Same,” Niall replied. “Want to get some sushi?”

“I’ll go if you pay,” Louis bargained.

Niall laughed, throwing his head back. “Fine, let’s go.”

“Really?” Louis asked in surprise.

Niall frowned. “Why is that so surprising?”

“Liam told me you never pay for food,” Louis told him.

“Liam’s a fucking liar,” Niall said. “Don’t believe anything he ever says, especially about me.”

Louis laughed, getting up and following Niall as he threw his arm around him, pulling him close and leading him out.

+++

Harry called Louis late that night when he was getting ready for bed and already changed into his pajamas. He’d simply asked if Louis wanted to go out for coffee and Louis didn’t think twice before replying yes. Seemed Harry wasn’t surprised or wasn’t going to take no for an answer because he was already waiting downstairs. Louis made his way down after pulling on every layer he could find and got into Harry’s car.

Harry laughed when he saw him, dimples deep and eyes crinkled. “You look like a snowball, Tommo.”

“Shut it, Styles,” Louis mumbled. “It’s fucking freezing out.”

Harry laughed again whilst turning up the heat and putting the gearshift back to drive. He drove over to their usual coffee place and this time Louis offered to get the coffees instead. Harry didn’t protest and smiled in return, saying he’d wait for him outside. Louis went inside to the shop and grabbed their usual orders, walking back out to see Harry sitting on the hood of his car, despite it being balls freezing cold outside.

Louis walked over to him and handed Harry his coffee before sitting down beside him. It was quiet at first, the two of them sipping on their hot coffees, trying to warm up. Louis had no idea why they were outside instead of inside of the car considering how Harry was only wearing a thin coat, which was unbuttoned at that. He had to have been getting cold, but Louis knew there was something on Harry’s mind so Harry didn’t care. Weeks and days of being with Harry and getting to know him had made it easy for Louis to tell when something was bothering him.

Suddenly, Harry turned to Louis. “How’d you do on that accounting exam?” he asked. “It was today, right?”

Louis wasn’t expecting him to say that of all things, but he nodded his head with a small smile. “I think I did alright. Hoping for the best.”

“You’ll ace it. You did so much revision. I was there, I can totally vouch for you.”

Louis laughed, puffs of air coming out of my mouth from the cold. “Alright, so if I fail it and I’m begging my professor to pass me for a few marks, I’ll remember to call you up to vouch for me.”

“‘S what I’m here for,” Harry replied.

Louis smiled, feeling this surge affection towards Harry for remembering and asking him about his exam, knowing that it was important to him. Louis rested his head on Harry’s shoulder and wrapped his arm around him. “You alright?” Louis asked him.

“Yeah,” he said softly. “I’m alright. I’m a bit tired.”

“Then why did you come out? You should be sleeping. Not to mention this coffee you’re drinking that will keep you wide awake.”

Harry shrugged. “El dumped me today.”

“She did not _dump_ you. That’s such an ugly way to describe it,” Louis exclaimed, knowing he should have expected this. “Niall said you were alright about it. What’s going on?”

“I am,” Harry said, turning to look Louis in the eyes, reassuringly. “I’m not like devastated and heartbroken or anything. I understood completely where she was coming from.”

“But?”

“But what, Louis? I’m shit, is what.”

“What do you mean you’re shit? You’re not shit.”

“Really? Then tell me what I’m doing with my life? I’m such a fucking--I can’t do anything right.”

Louis felt his heart breaking for Harry, wanting to hold him as close as possible. He absolutely hated seeing Harry like this. “H, what’s wrong? Please talk to me.”

“I’ve been feeling really fucking shitty for the past few weeks,” he said slowly. “Like a little before the whole El thing. I’m just so tired, you know?”

“What do you mean by that?” Louis asked. “Like, are you unhappy?”

“I’m not unhappy,” Harry shook his head. “It’s not like I’m depressed and I don’t want to live anymore. It’s not like that. I think I’m just tired and bored. You know? I spent _so_ long with Xander. Years upon years thinking he was the one and he’s fucking not, Louis. And I know how you feel about this stuff. It’s not important to you, but it’s important to _me_. Do you know how fucking scary it is to think you had this sure thing and then you realize not only was it temporary, but it’s also not even what your heart wanted?

“And I think about, like, how I spent so long with this one person and I wasted all that time, which I could have been using to find the _right one_. Not the wrong one. And time’s a fucking ticking bomb lately. I’m going to graduate from uni in a few short months. And I don’t know what to do. What do I fucking do?”

Louis stroked Harry’s back soothingly, hoping it would relax him, while worrying his bottom lip between his teeth. Harry was shaking underneath him and Louis felt a bit helpless like always. He unwound his scarf and wrapped it around Harry. Then he took off his beanie and put it over Harry’s hair, making sure his ears were covered as well. Harry didn’t protest, letting Louis bundle him up.

“So, what are you feeling now?” Louis asked him once he was done.

“Flat,” Harry replied. “Like, it’s all weird and I’d rather fast forward to when all of this is done and every aspect of my life is figured out.”

“Oh.”

Harry looked at him with a knowing smirk on his lips. “You don’t agree with me.”

“No, no…,” Louis started to say, but trailed off when Harry shot him another knowing look. Louis sighed, admitting defeat, and shrugged. “It’s just, I’ve heard that life’s a climb, but the view is great.”

Harry sat still for a moment, taking in what he’d said. He then let out a breath and turned back to Louis. “I’m pretty sure that’s Hannah Montana, Louis.”

“I know it’s Hannah Montana,” Louis huffed, slapping Harry on the arm when he started laughing. “But do you get why I said that? You want to skip ahead to when you’ve graduated, you’ve got a job and you’ve found the one. What about the in between? Don’t you want to see how you get there? Like, the good times with your friends in between now and graduation. When you get the call for your first official post graduation job. The moment you meet _the one_. Life's a constant climb because you’re always going to be working towards something. It’s the climb that matters and will matter the most. Not the end point.”

“I don’t like this uncertainty, though,” Harry said sadly. “I don’t like being alone. I like having someone. I like holding someone’s hand and calling them mine. It’s nice to me.”

Louis pursed his lips and tried not to be too endeared at Harry’s hopeless romantic-ness. “You can have all of that.”

“I did,” he shrugged. “Turned out he wasn’t even the one. Now he’s just an ex. I want my soul mate, Louis. I remember growing up and every story my mum told me, the prince found his _one_ so easily. And it sounded great, like they were always happy, and nothing ever got in the way. It was perfect and I want _that_. I don’t want to waste my time on people that aren’t the one for me. I don’t want to live with uncertainty.”

“The whole point of soul mates is that you find your way to each other, even if you’re on different ends of the earth,” Louis said.

“What if I don’t find him or he doesn’t find me?” Harry asked Louis. “What if by some freak mistake we miss each other and I have to wait another ten, fifteen years before I see him again?”

“You don’t know that.”

“I kind of do. Like, my mum for example,” he said. “She married my dad and they had a great few years together, but they got separated, and now they’re both married to different people. They weren’t each other’s soul mates. But they spent years together thinking that they were, making all these commitments to each other. I’m so scared of that. I don’t want to go through that, too. It tore my mum apart. I remember her crying when it happened and I also remember being ten years old and crawling into her bed every night to make sure to tell her that _I_ love her, hoping it was enough until her real prince came along.”

“Harry,” Louis couldn’t help but coo in a sad way, taking his empty hand in his own. “That’s really sweet.”

He chuckled wetly, squeezing Louis’ hand in his. “It was, but it was also sad. It took her years to find Robin, my step dad. She’s so unbelievably happy now and I hope he is the real one for her. It’s sort of how I felt after Xander and I broke up. I felt like I wasted so much time and now I don’t know how much longer I have to wait. I saw my mother date a few men here and there, but I could see that it wore on her when things never worked out. She didn’t like the whole dating aspect of it. She wanted to find the one just as much as I do.”

“So, what’s bringing this all on?” Louis asked him. “Were you--were you hoping El was the one?”

He shook his head and then shrugged. “Not really, but I don’t know at the same time. I just--like I said, I’m scared that I’m running out of time. That I won’t find the one and I’ll end up alone for the rest of my life. Xander’s gone and that’s that. El couldn’t even like me like that. Like, what’s wrong with me, Louis? Am I that bad?”

“You’re not bad at all,” Louis cried. “Please don’t think or say that.”

“Then what else could it be?” he pleaded. “I’m so confused and scared.”

“Forget Xander and El. You’re going to meet so many people in your life. And some of them you’ll love for little while, but then one day you’re going to find someone who you will love for the rest of your life. It’s going to be great and it will happen. You _will_ find someone, I promise.”

“What now, then?” he asked. “What do I do? Where do I look?”

“You don’t have to actively search for them, Harry,” Louis said slowly. “You’re so young. You’ve got plenty of time, trust me. In all my experiences, I’ve learned that life changes so quickly that you don’t notice. In a year, who knows, you might find the one or you might still be searching. Right now, though, you have to just enjoy what you have.”

“You mean just stay single?”

Louis laughed, nodding his head. “Stay so fucking single. You’re in a frat and there are so many people who would throw themselves at you if they knew you were interested. Think of all the arse you can get.”

Harry snorted, covering his mouth, and looking at Louis with twinkling eyes. “I have never done that.”

“Have sex with randoms?” Louis asked.

Harry nodded.

“I don’t really do that either, but you can give it a shot. A lot of people love it. It could totally work,” Louis said. “I’ll be your wingman. I will help you score the best ladies and gents and you will get laid and that will be your only concern. You don’t have to worry about finding the one, the _one_ will find you.”

“That was very profound,” Harry laughed. “Who knew you were such a philosopher?”

“I try to bring out my best when I’m with you.”

“I’m glad.”

“I’m serious, though, about what I said. Please don’t worry about all this right now. You’re such a great guy. You’re very cute and handsome. You have a heart of gold and I think you’re amazing. I don’t doubt that anyone else will think otherwise either. And hey, you’ve had a good time with Xander, right?”

Harry nodded, seeming a bit awestruck by what Louis was saying. “Yeah, I did.”

“Think of how much fun you had with him, how much you loved the _wrong one_. And now just imagine how much you’re going to love the _right_ _one_. How much better it will be and that’s the exciting part of it all. That some of your best and happiest moments are coming.”

It could have been the effect of the streetlights, but Louis almost thought Harry was going to start crying with the way his eyes were glistening. He looked choked up and so much lighter than how he did when they’d gotten there.

“Can I hug you?” Harry managed to breathe out with a smile. Louis nodded his head, jumping off the car, and was then engulfed in Harry’s arms as Harry gave him the tightest hug possible. Louis laughed, swaying their bodies from side to side.

“You’re crushing me,” Louis mumbled.

“I fucking love you,” Harry replied instead. “I love you so much. You’re honestly one of my best friends.”

Louis smiled, holding on tighter with his arms around Harry’s neck, tucking his face in the junction between Harry’s shoulder and neck. “You, too.”

“And I don’t think I want to ever stop hugging you,” he said. “I love hugging you. It makes me feel so good, Lou. Like everything’s okay and I’m okay.”

“Everything _is_ okay,” Louis repeated. “You’re more than okay. I’ve got you. I’m here for you.”

Harry slowly leaned back at arm's length, locking their eyes. He was smiling, looking completely taken and Louis felt him rest their foreheads together. It was quiet, just the two of them breathing for a few seconds and then Harry kissed Louis on the corner of his lip, pulling away after.

Louis looked at him, a bit confused, but brushed it off. It was probably just a kiss on the cheek gone too close to the mouth.

“So, this whole wingman thing,” Harry said.

“Yes?”

“How does that work?”

“It’s a great deal of work, but with your charming personality and cute dimples, we might get lucky.”

“Oh, do tell me more,” he laughed, leaning back against the car.

“Let’s do it inside somewhere,” Louis said. “My nipples are frozen.”

Harry let out another barking laugh, throwing his head back. “Wanna go back to your place?” he asked. “I can stay over and maybe El will catch us again.”

“You’re ruthless,” Louis laughed, getting into the car with his half empty coffee cup.

“I just missed fucking with her head,” Harry replied, getting into the driver’s seat. “Was fun. Glad I can do it again.”

+++

It was Niall’s idea to do a pub crawl on a Thursday night.

The following Friday, all classes were cancelled due to snow, and everyone was buzzing from the prospect of a longer weekend. At first it was just a few of them doing the pub crawl within the university area, but then they found out that a few of the guys from Theta Chi wanted to come as well. When they’d reached the first bar, the place was packed with students.

“I heard kids from other uni’s are here,” Liam told Louis as they entered to find a booth. “They’ve got no class tomorrow as well.”

“Well shit,” Taylor muttered. “Was hoping to not have crowds tonight.”

“Scared you’ll bump into someone you know?” Liam chuckled.

“There’s your ex, Liam,” Louis pointed to a random direction. Liam snapped his head that way, almost getting whiplash, and scowled when he realized Louis was joking. Louis laughed giddily, following the others where Niall had managed to snag them a booth. He sat down between Harry and Niall, Taylor sitting across from them with Ed while El was on the other side of Harry.

The two of them seemed just as normal as they had been before and during their little “dating” venture. It was good, especially for the group, because no one wanted any awkwardness. Thankfully, there didn’t seem to be because when Louis looked over, he saw the two of them talking animatedly about the new horror movie in theaters.

“So, everyone good with beer?” Niall asked, getting up. They all nodded, a few of them humming in response. Niall turned on his heel and walked towards the bar, chatting with a few people on the way. He came back a few minutes later with two pitchers and glasses, serving them all.

It was all fine until Taylor spit out her drink all over the table. Everyone turned to look at her because she looked as pale as a ghost.

“You alright?” El asked her, concern etched on her face.

“My ex is here,” she said, sinking down in her seat until she was barely visible to anyone who wasn’t sitting with them.

“Which one?” Louis asked, turning around to look around at the bar.

“It’s Charles,” Taylor squeaked.

“Who is Charles?” Harry asked, snorting. “I can’t believe you dated someone named Charles. He sounds like a car salesman.”

“What does he look like?” Ed asked her then.

Taylor bit her lip and took a long sip of her drink before replying. “He’s in a brown oxford sweater by the bar.”

Everyone turned to look and started to laugh. Ed chuckled, “He’s literally wearing an oxford sweater to a pub crawl? Are those dress slacks? What the fuck? Where does he go?”

“Oxford,” Taylor replied. “Which is why I’m confused as to why he’s here. That’s an hour away.”

“He kind of looks like Harry with blond hair,” Liam remarked after getting a good look. “Kind of douchey.”

“Excuse me, Liam,” Harry retorted, with an offended expression. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing bad, I swear,” Liam laughed even though Harry still looked mad.

“He looks so pretentious,” Ed concluded.

“He is,” Taylor told them. “He’s a pre-med major and thinks he’s the smartest shit in the whole world. _And_ he’s rude.”

“Just ignore him,” Zayn told Taylor. “As long as he hasn’t seen you, he won’t try and approach you.”

“We need to leave,” Taylor said, ignoring Zayn. “Like five minutes ago.”

“We just got here,” Niall whined. “Plus I’m eyeing the bird by the darts. Want to at least talk to her.”

“Then can I go hide in the loo until then?” Taylor asked, laughing nervously.

“Why? Why are you so afraid of him?” Ed frowned.

Taylor glared at him. “I’m not afraid. What makes you say that?”

“You want to go hide from a stupid, pretentious douchebag looking mother fucker who wears an oxford sweater to a god damn pub. That’s why I’m saying that,” Ed said. “Do I need to go beat this guy up or something? Tell me now because I need to get a little more drunk otherwise my swings won’t be as good.”

Harry cleared his throat then so that they were all looking at him again. “I’m feeling a bit offended still since Liam said Charles looks like me with blond hair. Does that mean I also look like a stupid, pretentious douchebag looking mother fucker?”

They all started to laugh, including Taylor, hopefully loosening up and not letting Charles spoil her mood. Niall, Ed, and El started talking to Taylor, distracting her from her ex, while Liam and Zayn went over to go talk to a few girls. Louis looked at Harry and he smiled back.

“Aren’t you going to go and talk to those girls with them?” Louis asked.

“Me?” Harry asked, looking around to see the girls. They weren’t the most innocent looking ladies. There were four of them, clad in shorts and a big flannel on top with some bras underneath, and their buttons unbuttoned. There was a ton of makeup covering their faces and their hair was styled and flowing with tons of hairspray. “They’re not really my type of girls.”

“Your type of girls?” Louis sputtered. “Harry, you’re missing the whole point of random hook ups. The girls don’t have to be your type. You’re not going into this for a relationship. You need a girl who is down to fuck.”

Harry’s eyes were wide and a bit intimidated. “Oh.”

“Yeah,” Louis nodded. “Do you really think that Liam and Zayn would date them? Do you think those girls are looking to date?”

“No,” Harry said slowly. “Maybe later, though. Not those girls. They’re a little scary.”

“Scary?” Louis laughed.

“They look like the type of girls who would bite dicks.”

“You’re so lucky that I wasn’t in the middle of drinking my beer, otherwise I’d have spit it all over you,” Louis snorted. Harry laughed with him, eyes crinkling and happy.

 

They stayed a bit longer at that pub, finishing their beer. Liam and Zayn ended up striking out with the girls. They were a bit too intense for them and they all filed out to head to the next pub when someone called out Taylor’s name on the way out. They all turned and sure enough, Charles had spotted her, making his way through the crowd to get to her.

“Here comes your doppelganger,” Liam laughed to Harry.

“Shut up, _Payneful Perfection_ ,” Harry bit back. Liam’s smiled wiped right off his face. He had been relentlessly teased about that since they’d discovered the videos thanks to Grimmy. They had been keeping up with the pornstar, quickly becoming fans, and looked out for new videos since they’d seen all the old ones already.

Charles finally reached them and smiled at Taylor, who looked like she wanted to puke. “Hey,” he said. “Long time, no see.”

“Yeah,” she said, a poker face expression on her face. “What are you doing here?”

“I came to see a friend who goes to King’s. We came out for this pub crawl that a few students are doing. Didn’t expect to see you around, though.”

Taylor paused for a long moment. “I go here,” she said. “I’m out with friends.”

Charles looked over at the rest of them, but didn’t say anything, and instead looked back at Taylor. El rolled her eyes at that. “You’re leaving, then?” Charles asked Taylor.

“To the next pub, yes,” she replied.

“Why does he care?” Ed asked the rest of them under his breath. He looked proper mad and Louis snickered, finding the whole situation rather funny.

“Oh,” Charles said to Taylor. “Guess I’ll see you around then.”

Taylor didn’t bother saying anything else and turned around to continue walking, her strides fast and long, while Ed and El tried catching up with her to make sure she was okay. Niall and Harry walked with Louis towards the back of the group and Niall immediately turned to Louis once Charles walked back inside.

“If I see his face again, I might break it,” they could hear Ed saying.

“A pub brawl to end off a great pub crawl,” Harry said, laughing at his rhyming words. Louis had a feeling Harry was drunk because he was holding Louis’ hand, fingers entwined somehow as they walked. It made Louis feel rather warm inside. Holding hands has always been such a _thing_ for him. It was so intimate and sweet. The feeling of another person connected with you in such a small, but lovely manner. He quickly shook those thoughts away, however, because Harry was just a friend. And having these weird feelings was not cool. “Are we going to find me a babe at this next pub?” Harry giggled.

“You’re looking for a hookup?” Niall asked Harry.

Harry nodded. “Louis thinks I need to get laid.”

“I second that,” Niall said high fiving Louis, followed by a fist bump. “I’m definitely helping.”

“To answer your question, Harry,” Louis said. “If we find a suitable lady or man, then yes. I will bring out my best wingman skills to get you a snog session and maybe a blowie in the toilets.”

“Every man’s dream,” Harry laughed.

They arrived at the second pub, the group deciding to do a few shots this time around. This place was a little less crowded than the last one, which should have been a good thing. After the shots, the others started playing around with the karaoke machine at the place while Niall, Harry and Louis were scouring the pub for a suitable hookup for Harry.

“What about him?” Niall asked, motioning towards a boy with bleached blond Justin Bieber hair who was stood by the pool table. He was a potential candidate, cute in the face and confident looking.

“I don’t know about him,” Harry shook his head. “He reminds me of you, Ni.”

“Every blond reminds you of me,” Niall said, with a shake of his head.

Louis burst out laughing, leaning against the counter. “You’re terrible. What then? Gingers? Brunettes?”

“Brunettes are definitely hot,” Harry smirked at Louis.

Louis bit his lip and played along, pulling Harry in by his collar. Harry grinned, leaning as though he was going to kiss him until Niall started gagging beside them.

“Please tell me you’re not going to do this in front of me,” he groaned. Harry looked at Louis, laughing before tugging Louis closer and sticking his head in the crook of Louis’ neck, pretending to make out with him. Niall let out another groan before walking away from them. Harry pulled away laughing and looked at Louis sheepishly.

Louis smiled at him, stabbing his pointer finger into Harry’s chest so he would move back a little and Louis could properly look at him. “You’re so drunk.”

“I am a little drunk,” he said, still grinning.

Louis laughed, sticking his finger in Harry’s dimple. “See any brunettes you like.”

“Yeah,” he grinned, leaning closer to Louis.

“Harry,” Louis groaned, not being able to stop laughing. “Help.”

“Okay, okay. I’ll be serious,” he said. He furrowed his eyebrows and looked around the room. His eyes eventually landing on some brunette stood by the bar a few feet away from them. “What about her?”

Louis looked over at her properly. She looked nice, very pretty, wearing a pair of black jeans and a white top. She also had a ton of makeup on her face, but it worked. Louis nodded, turning to Harry, before walking over with him.

“Can I get a Jager Bomb shooter,” Louis heard her ask as they approached. Louis stood next to her with Harry on his other side.

“Strong,” Louis laughed. She turned to Louis and smiled, nodding her head.

“It’s just one of those nights,” she said with a smile.

“Totally get you,” Louis replied. “Can we do the shots with you? We could use some of those as well.”

She looked over at Louis properly before her eyes landed on Harry, staying there for a moment longer than usual. Bingo.

“Yeah,” she smiled.

“I’m Louis,” he said to her. “This is Harry.”

“Hi,” she replied. “I’m Brooke.”

“Do you go to Imperial?” Louis asked.

She nodded. “My sorority is doing a pub crawl tonight.”

“Ah,” Louis nodded. “Harry’s in a frat, actually. Theta Chi.”

“Oh, yeah,” she smiled. “I’ve been to a few parties there.”

“They’re great, right? Harry DJ’s sometimes. Sick taste in music.”

“What are you into?” she asked Harry.

“Um,” Harry mumbled, thinking. “I like a bit of everything. I don’t actually DJ, but I do make a lot playlists to play during the parties. I’ll always put a mix of rap, a bit of R&B. If I can find a good dubstep mix of rock or pop songs, then I’m set because those always put everyone in a good mood.”

Brooke smiled, her interest peaking more and more. The shots were placed in front of them and Louis cheered, clinking everyone’s glasses together before downing it. When Louis put his glass down, he saw Brooke and Harry had edged a bit closer to each other and had picked back up their conversation about music, so he slowly extricated himself from there and walked back to his friends. Ed and Niall were up on the makeshift stage, dueting on some Ellie Goulding track while Zayn, Liam and Taylor drunkenly danced with their pints up in the air.

Louis sat down beside El, stealing some of her drink. She turned to scowl at him only to realize something. “Where’s Harry?”

“I played a bit of wingman and got him talking to this girl,” Louis replied, gesturing over to the bar. They both looked over to see it was still going wonderfully. The girl was definitely down to hook up and it helped that Harry had some liquid courage to get the charming aspect of his personality to come out to flirt with her.

Niall and Ed had just finished their duet and were thinking of what to sing next.

“Sing “Hotline Bling”,” Zayn demanded loudly.

El and Louis burst out laughing, cheering them on. They did end up doing the cover and after a while, Louis stood up on his booth chair with El, screaming their lungs off for them. While standing up, Louis noticed Harry and Brooke walking into one of the toilets. Harry turned to look at Louis and shot him a wink and a big grin.

Louis shot him a thumbs up back before turning to look at the stage. Niall got off and was replaced by Taylor. Their group cheered the couple on as they took on a romantic duet of “Trap Queen.” When they finished, everyone cheered and clapped again. The two of them took a bow and the whole group got back to their booth after El and Louis managed to climb down from there. Harry came out of the toilets as well, looking flushed and smug.

Louis gave him a look as Harry sat down beside him and he raised an eyebrow, questioningly. Harry leaned in close to his ear. “We made out and she sucked me off.”

“Nice,” Louis commented with a grin. “You happy?”

“Yeah,” Harry shrugged. “Was nice.”

“Good,” Louis said. “Next pub, we’ll get you some numbers for when you need a booty call.”

“Can’t wait,” he grinned.

 

+++

They went to about two more bars before heading to the last one for the night. Harry got at least five to ten numbers from each bar and a few people even made comments on how they’d been wondering when Harry would be single and whether he was into hooking up. It seemed that before Harry was appearing less than available at most parties so no one ever bothered chatting him up. Now that that was cleared up and Harry was clearly on the market again, they’d been talking to him more than usual.

By the time they got to the last pub, Louis was super drunk and just tired. He decided to skip out on drinks, instead resting his head on El’s shoulder as she talked to the others.

“Oh god,” Niall said, turning to look at the door.

“What happened?” El asked.

“The lads from UCL just walked in,” Niall replied. “You know, the ones who are on the footie team? We hate them. They’re our biggest rivals.”

“Sounds a bit dramatic,” El said. “It’s only football.”

“It’s not just football,” Niall replied haughtily. “It goes deeper than that.”

Louis quirked his eyebrow looking over at the five normal looking guys that walked in. It was then that Louis noticed Ed look up from where he was stood at the bar with Liam and Zayn. The three of them smirked amongst each other, glancing over at the boys from UCL.

Harry slid down in his seat beside Louis. “I’m scared.”

“Why?” Louis asked, curious. “What’s about to happen?”

“Max George, over there,” Niall pointed out. “He used to hit on Taylor a lot, despite knowing that she was dating Ed. And then he also hooked up with a girl Zayn was seeing, although that was no strings attached, it was still fucked up. And during a football game once, they got into an actual brawl. Full on fist fighting.”

El gasped, her eyes wide. “Are they going to fight now?”

“I hope not,” Harry muttered. “Hopefully it’s just banter and nothing more.”

They all watched as Max walked by with his friends and nodded towards Taylor. Taylor looked uncomfortable for the most part, trying to hide as much as possible behind Ed despite their height difference. Ed snorted, looking at Max. “Ever heard of the term not interested?”

Max stopped walking and his friends stood beside him. “Just some flirting, mate. No big.”

“Clearly, you’re not familiar with how flirting works,” Ed remarked. “If she doesn’t flirt back, you stop, yeah? If you continue, then it’s just annoying. Plus, she’s got someone already. And it’s not your ugly mug.”

Zayn spoke up then. “By the way, caught that video of yours going viral all over Twitter. The one of you naked and dancing to Psy. Funny, that was. Geek of the week, innit? The first step is acceptance.”

“Is this you initiating me into the club?” Max asked Zayn, chuckling.

“I’m not sure why you’re still standing here, mate,” Zayn laughed, drinking his beer. “The conversation ended when I called you a geek.”

“That’s not very nice,” Max tutted. “Heard you and Payne over here did a bit of singing a few hours ago. Gutted I missed your breakout R&B performance.”

“Shut the fuck up, George,” Liam rolled his eyes as Max made a mocking puppy face at him.

Tom, one of Max’s mates, stepped in then, directing his comment at Zayn. “Nice hair, by the way. Digging the ponytail. Miss the stripe, though.” Over at the table, they all widened their eyes at the mention of Zayn’s old bleached streak of hair he had a few months ago.

Zayn laughed. “Mate, if I had a face like yours, my hair would be the last thing I’d worry about.”

“One stripe obviously got his knickers in a twist,” Tom laughed.

“Oi, pipe down, bad boy,” Louis warned, giving him a leveled look, not liking the way these guys were talking to his mates.

Tom put up his hands in surrender and backed away. Zayn grinned over at Louis.

“You guys are so good at talking shit,” Zayn said then. “Ever thought of taking that energy and time and putting it into practice for the pitch? How many games have you lost this season? One, two, all of them?”

Max tutted again, looking at Zayn. “You’re a bit cranky, mate. Lay off the bud, maybe? Not nice.”

“Thanks for the advice, chlamydia boy. Done talking all this shit, though. I’m a bit bored,” Ed rolled his eyes, laughing and turning towards Taylor.

“If anyone’s talking shit, it’s you, innit?” Tom asked. “Heard you guys were running your mouth at the Liverpool game.”

“Where the fuck do you get your information?” Zayn asked, not being able to help himself.

“You very well know what I’m talking about. Liverpool game last month. Heard from them you lot were talking shit about us during the after party. You that upset you didn’t make it on our team, Malik?”

“Fuck that,” Zayn snapped. “We both know I wouldn’t waste my time trying out for your shit team. You humor me with your bad boy persona.”

“Wouldn’t want your _shit talent_ on our team anyhow,” Tom bit back. “Saw that video of you throwing up on the pitch. Great work.”

“Couldn’t have enjoyed it more than I enjoyed watching you cry on the field when you lost to us in fucking Manchester. A bit of a sore loser, are we? I actually think you’re the biggest twat on your team,” Zayn shot back.

“This is getting so good,” El breathed in Louis’ ear. “I’m on the edge of my seat.”

“Oh and Max,” Zayn said, smiling over at the other boy. “I never got to ask you, but you hooked up with Freya, right?”

Max smirked. “You jealous, mate? Heard from her it wasn’t serious.”

“No, no,” Zayn shook his head. “Not serious at all. I was just wondering, yeah? How does my dick taste?”

Their entire table erupted in cheers and laughter at that. It was then that Max started to get closer to Zayn, looking like he actually wanted to hit him, when Niall and Harry shot right out of their seats to stand between them.

“Let it go, bro,” Niall told him. “Don’t make it more than a scene than it needs to be.”

“Do I have to fight you tossers to get through to the Bradford Bad Boy over there?” Tom spat.

“As long as I’m standing in the way,” Harry said with a leveled smirk. “You’re not going to lay a damn finger on any of my mates. We’ll settle this on the pitch. Just walk away.”

It seemed that the boys were trying to control themselves, eventually backing away, but not without flipping them off first. They took that as their cue to leave, the lot of them walking out into the cold. As soon as they were outside, everyone started to laugh and hug each other, making plans to head back home and grab some hot chocolate to end off the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you liked it!!!  
>   
> [tumblr](http://quitefinishedlarry.tumblr.com/) / [fic page](http://quitefinishedlarry.tumblr.com/yail) / [chapter post](http://quitefinishedlarry.tumblr.com/post/136569315320/fic-you-are-in-love-author-wildestdreams)  
>   
> ps: this is how i pictured [blond harry](https://41.media.tumblr.com/ebff6bc98df0969702eaafc349dae4d8/tumblr_ndkeqbZ22J1sqd1zmo1_1280.jpg)


	10. the one with the sign

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is so much later than usual and in my defense i'm on vacation in a country that is 11 hours ahead of where i live. i'm trying but stuff like this will happen i guess.  
>   
> i hope you like this chapter! a lot of stuff being set into motion with louis/harry in terms of feelings. thank you to [mac](http://realitybetterthanfiction.tumblr.com/) as usual.

El’s twenty-second birthday consisted of her revising all morning and then taking an exam in the afternoon. Finals week was quickly approaching them and they all had several things to do for all their classes before prepping for those exams, like last minute papers or extra credit assignments for that little boost to their grades. It didn’t help that December hit them with the coldest weather and the worst snow, making going to class that much harder.

Nonetheless, they knew they had to do something special for their El, especially after all the grueling work she had to do on her birthday. So, Taylor and Louis gathered everyone and took El to a fancy restaurant for dinner later that night. They all dressed to the nines and reserved a big table, making sure that the waiter knew to bring out the cake at the end and sing an embarrassing song for the birthday girl.

Harry sat down in front of Louis and it was the first time he was seeing him in almost a week, which was a new record for them since they’d met. The setting was a bit different for all them. Louis wasn’t used to seeing Harry in anything else but sweatpants, some random t-shirt and a snapback. Tonight he was dressed in a crisp dark shirt with some floral pattern on it and his only jeans that weren’t ripped.

“Hey stranger,” he said, smiling at Louis with a gleam in his eyes. “Finally bothered to see me?”

“Ha ha,” Louis said sarcastically. “You know I’ve been packed up.”

“Yeah,” he replied, shrugging like he’d been expecting Louis to say that. “Too busy to see your old friend. I see how it is.”

“It’s been a week, H,” Louis retorted with an amused smile. “You saw me last week at that party. And don’t act like you haven’t been busy yourself with your course work and _all your hook ups_.”

Harry smirked at Louis like he had no idea what he was talking about. He was the worst with his stupid dimples, acting coy like he didn’t even know. “Hookups? What hookups do you mean? I’m not familiar with that term.”

“Don’t act stupid with me,” Louis said to him. “You’ve become a whole new man with all the people you’ve been scoring, Mr. Hit it and Quit it.”

“Is that what they’re calling me?” Harry asked, eyes wide and a tad bit surprised.

Louis laughed, shaking his head. “No, it’s what _I’m_ calling you, because I know that’s exactly what you’re doing.”

After the pub crawl, when Louis had helped Harry score that girl who blew him in the toilets, Harry had been on a roll. Thanks to Louis’ impressive and foolproof wingman skills, Harry had been getting laid left and right. He’d help him out at parties and got him a ton of numbers, which he actually used for booty calls. Turned out regular orgasms that didn’t come with any strings nor from your own right hand was addicting. Then once word spread that Harry Styles was back on the market, a lot of boys and girls approached him without Louis having to do a damned thing.

It was probably his dimples. _Maybe_ his curls.

“Tell me,” Louis said to him, taking a sip of his drink before leaning forward. “How many shags have you had since we last met up?”

“Depends,” Harry mulled over, biting into his bread roll with ease even though it was hard as fuck. “What level of shagging are we talking?”

Louis’ eyes widened and he sputtered at Harry who looked way too amused for his liking. “You’re an absolute dog. Is this what you’ve been doing?”

“ _Heeeey_ ,” he drawled out. “You’re the one who supported this. You’re the one who gave me the idea.”

“I had to do something to help you with your Ted Mosby syndrome,” Louis exclaimed throwing his hands up in the air.

Harry stared at Louis dumbfounded before tilting his head to the side. “Did you just compare me to Ted Mosby from _How I Met Your Mother_? And then referred to it as the Ted Mosby syndrome?”

Louis laughed, nodding his head, and throwing a piece of his bread roll at him. “You are literally Ted Mosby. It didn’t occur to me till the other night when I was rewatching season two.”

“Hey,” Harry interrupted, pouting. “You can’t watch it without me. That’s not fair. It’s against the rules.”

“I didn’t watch any new seasons. We already saw the second season three times together. What does it matter?”

“You still can’t.”

“Fine, now can I finish what I was saying?”

“Yeah, go right ahead,” Harry nodded.

“As I was saying, you two are basically the same person. You’re both looking for the one and hoping to find true love, yet you don’t realize that life will take you to your one when the time is right, like it did for Ted eventually.”

“Ted had to wait so long,” Harry told Louis, pondering over what he’d just said. “Like nine seasons.”

“Yes, but he got laid plenty in between, amirite? Just like you are right now.”

Harry grinned at him, cheeky and so sure of himself. “Maybe I am Ted Mosby. He’s not a bad guy to be. He’s funny and girls like him. But, then who are you?”

“Barney, obviously,” Louis replied. “Your wingman.”

“Yeah, but Barney gets laid a lot more than Ted. He wrote the playbook. You can’t be Barney.”

“Um, why not?” Louis asked, scoffing.

“You don’t really get laid,” he replied, matter of factly.

“Because I’m not trying, that’s why. If I were to try, I definitely could.”

“Ted is Barney’s wingman, too, you know. I can help you,” Harry insisted. “Let me be your wingman at the next party. It’s the least I can do after all that you did to help me.”

“I didn’t do much,” Louis shrugged off, mostly because he didn’t want to get laid. He wasn’t really interested in that at the moment. “Talking you up in front of some people wasn’t hard work. I think your dimples helped way more.”

Harry smiled at Louis to emphasize his point. “I’m serious. It was you who told me to go out and have fun. That’s what I’ve been doing and it’s been really good. I owe you that much.”

“So, it’s good?” Louis asked, curiosity getting the best of him.

Louis had been worried for some time as to whether or not he pushed Harry in the right direction. Harry wasn’t really this outgoing when Louis had first met him, but the others haven’t said anything about his sudden change of persona. They all seemed to welcome it with open arms and thought it was great from what he’d heard.

“Yeah,” Harry nodded in response. “The people I’ve hung out with really seem to like me and we have fun...for a night.” He chuckled softly, almost embarrassed as his cheeks turned pink. “Niall’s always complaining about them stealing his food, so I’ve been trying to take it to their flats most of the time.”

Louis couldn’t help but get even more curious. Over the past few months he’d gotten to know everything about Harry from what cereal he ate in the morning to what his schedule was like and even what his favorite childhood show was. It was weird that suddenly he didn’t know the details about this aspect of his life. It wasn’t something Harry was freely offering to him at that moment, either.

“How many times have there been?” Louis asked, trying to act casual. “You still haven’t given me a number.”

Harry bit his lip and shrugged. “About six in the past week, I think.”

Hearing that, all Louis could think about was what did they do? Harry couldn’t have had sex with all of them, or maybe he could. Louis didn’t want to ask that much because it started to feel a little weird, so he aimed for a joke instead. “You only had one day of rest?”

Harry burst out laughing, putting his head down on the table. “Stop. You’re embarrassing me.”

“Nothing to be embarrassed about, Styles,” Louis quipped. “I’m happy for your dick.”

That was exact moment when Niall decided to turn to them and tune into their conversation. It was amazing to Louis how Harry and him could zone out into their own conversation, forgetting that they were with five other people, too. It was always easy with Harry.

“What did I just hear?” Niall asked, eyebrow raised.

Harry lifted his head up, looking up at Louis with a smirk, before turning to Niall. “Just Louis talking about my dick. How much he cares about it and thinks about it.”

“I did _not_ say that,” Louis said, crossing his arms and giving Harry a leveled look. He _would_ say something like that.

“You’re thinking about Harry’s dick?” Ed asked, eyes wide.

“No,” Louis shook his head quickly.

“You just said that you’re happy for his dick,” Zayn tacked on with a hand on his chin as if he was deeply contemplating this. “Seems to me you must be thinking about it a little.”

“I wasn’t thinking _about_ his dick,” Louis told them, frowning. “I was thinking _of_ his dick. Like, I’m happy it is getting the attention it deserves.”

The entire table started snickering. Taylor looked red in the face and Niall was full on cackling like he was on the verge of pissing himself.

“What’s the difference?” Liam asked, grinning. “You’re thinking about it.”

“I’m not thinking _about_ it. I’m thinking _of_ it. There’s a lot of difference, _Liam_. Go take some English courses, you muppet.”

This statement only caused them to laugh louder and Louis turned back to Harry who was watching this whole thing unfold in front of him like it was the best thing to have happened all night. Harry smirked at Louis with a sense of cockiness and shrugged as though he had nothing to do with it. Harry was a menace. Anyone who looked at his face could easily be fooled by the cherubic features, but not know that he was actually the devil in disguise. Louis had to expose him one day.

Not today, though. There had been enough damage.

“You’re a dick,” Louis told him, instead.

“You’re still thinking about it, then?” he asked nonchalantly.

“Shut up,” Louis whined. “You can forget me being your wingman anymore. I’ll show everyone all the ugly snapchats you send me that I screenshotted.”

“I never take ugly snapchats,” Harry shrugged off casually. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Oh yeah?” Louis asked, smirking. “Need I remind you of the one you sent me last week of you on the toilets taking a rather large dump?”

“Okay, _listen_ ,” Harry said with a serious expression. “I send you those in confidence. Why would you _ever_ do that? Besides, I have tons of equally embarrassing snapchats of you that I will put on Twitter if I have to.”

“That’s just ruthless.”

“Oi, lovebirds,” Zayn called, making the two of them turn their heads towards them. The fact that they responded to being called ‘lovebirds’ got the rest of them laughing. “Food’s here. Mind bursting that bubble that you two are always in and join the rest of us?”

“Quit talking shit, Malik, and pass over my chicken,” Harry told Zayn.

Zayn laughed and passed Harry his dish and soon Louis had his pasta in front of him as well, digging in and chatting with Taylor who was next to him. Louis wanted to make an effort to talk to the others rather than just Harry and it seemed that Harry was doing the same. When Louis looked over he saw Harry having an enthusiastic chat about the new Seth Rogen movie with Zayn. Louis tried to focus on what Taylor was saying to him, but there was a part of him that he didn’t want to think too much about that wanted Harry to pay attention to him. It didn’t look like he wanted to, since he was busy rambling on about stoner comedies or summat. That was until Taylor asked Louis to describe the mole on a guy he used to work with.

“It was massive,” Louis told her. “Like, I’d never seen one that big before.”

Harry let out a loud sigh in front of them. He turned to Niall and pointed at Louis. “You see,” Harry said. “He’s _still_ thinking about my dick. What am I supposed to do with him?”

Niall shook his head at Louis with a sad, solemn stare. Louis shot them both dirty looks and was about to say something before Liam asked El something rather loudly.

“Why didn’t you invite that friend of yours? That you were telling us about the other night?” he asked. “Max, was it?”

El nodded, her eyes wide, and delighted at the topic at hand. Louis had a feeling someone slipped her one too many drinks and she was drunk. “Yeah, that’s him. And I didn’t know if I should. We haven’t properly talked.”

“You haven’t called him yet?” Louis asked her.

She shook her head. “I haven’t gotten around to it. I want to do it, though.”

“Wait,” Zayn said. “Who is Max again?”

“El’s ex who is a baby,” Niall answered him. Zayn nodded his head once he realized who they were talking about.

El rolled her eyes and then turned to Taylor with a smile. “He is an ex, but not a serious one. We dated early during secondary school, but then he moved. I fell in puppy love with him. This was back when Louis and I still weren’t proper friends.”

“The dark ages,” Louis tacked on.

Everyone snickered at Louis before turning back to El. “Tell us about your puppy love,” Taylor gushed. She’d always been a romantic type.

El beamed as she thought back. “We’d write each other love notes, meet in my tree house and kiss for hours. We’d play footsy during lunch and hold hands in the school hallways. He even got me this necklace, which I refused to take off. I wore it for months after he’d left. You know he cried when we said goodbye? He told me that there is no one like me and that he’d come back one day.”

“Then what are you waiting for?” Zayn asked, clearly touched by this whole story as he wiped a faux tear from the corner of his eye. “This is some Nicholas Sparks shit.”

El giggled and shrugged with her champagne flute in her hand. “I don’t know. It’s been years since that. Who knows if he has a girlfriend or where he is in life. I can’t just waltz back in and be like hey, wanna date again? We were kids back then.”

“But you really liked him,” Louis said. “Don’t you want to at least have him in your life?”

“I don’t know,” El shrugged. “I’ve been too busy to think about it, but maybe I will give him a call since we exchanged numbers.”

“Do that,” Zayn said. “And then tell me if you guys share a magical kiss where you run into each other’s arms, crying and shit. I love that stuff.”

“And you make fun of me for loving rom coms,” Harry tutted, glaring at Zayn.

 

+++

The boys had their biggest footie match against UCL a few days before exams began. They’d been practicing long and hard from what Louis’d heard and were ready to crush those guys from the other day at the bar. Max and Nathan, or whatever. It was like some War of the Worlds type of shit from the looks of it. Everyone was super serious and Louis, Taylor and El were obviously planning to go and obnoxiously cheer them on with other guys from the frat.

In fact, Louis went the extra mile and made Harry a sign on a pink board that said, “ _Harry Styles is a dreamboat_.” It was written in red, complete with hearts around it. And glitter. Tons and tons of glitter.

El had walked in on Louis making it the night before and looked at him like she knew something that he didn’t. Louis rolled his eyes at her and laughed. “Get that smirk off your face. I’m only doing this to embarrass him.”

El hummed in response, crossing her arms and leaning against Louis’ dresser, watching him work. “I know he has a sudden fan club now that he’s so popular and back on the market, but don’t try and deny that you’re the president of it.”

“Ha ha, that’s funny, El,” Louis said sarcastically while adding extra glitter to the letter H. “These jokes are actually getting funnier day by day. Have you been writing them yourself or are you getting some help?”

“Are they really _that_ funny if they’re so close to the truth?”

Louis chewed his bottom lip, cocking his head to the side and assessing his sign. “Do you think I should add another heart?” Louis asked her instead.

The thing was, El didn’t know about the inside joke between Harry and Louis regarding the sign and he didn’t really feel like telling her. It all started late fall when Harry and Louis were out for a cuppa, sitting on top of Harry’s car, when Harry’d told Louis how terrible he was at the game. He’d only gotten chosen during try outs because Liam and Niall were co-captains of the team and they knew that even though Harry was terrible, he loved the game, so it was worth it. It was embarrassing for him, but he took it with a grain of salt, giving his all even though he may have failed to ever pass the ball to the right teammate or make a goal. Louis promised Harry then that whenever he’d go to a game, Louis’d support him full on, with a sign and all. Harry thought it was the best thing ever.

It had been a while since they’d talked about that and Louis wasn’t sure if Harry remembered, but he still wanted to do it since he gave his word. Also, maybe a little to see Harry smile since Louis knew he was nervous from the texts he’d sent Louis earlier. The content of the sign was a bit more embarrassing than Louis’d promised Harry, but that was the fun of it. Louis was sure he’d appreciate it regardless.

Louis held the sign proudly, making sure the glitter and hearts stayed intact, when he took it to the game. They found seats towards the front thanks to all the other boys from Theta Chi who had come to see the game as well. Louis sat down with Taylor and El, holding his sign between his feet, and rubbed his palms together to keep warm since the air was still chilly. As he moved a bit to lean back, he overheard a conversation between a few girls sitting behind them.

“I still can’t believe we’re here in the cold,” one of them said to her friend.

“I told you to bring a scarf and a hat. Not my fault you didn’t bother,” her friend responded.

“Besides, we’re to see cute boys play football. It will start getting hot out here as soon as they come out,” another one said. Louis rolled my eyes at that cheesy line but continued listening because it was better than hearing Taylor and El discuss their favorite boyband.

The other two started to giggle at what she said and she scoffed at them. “As if you two aren’t here for _Harry Styles_ , either.”

Louis’ eyebrows shot up and he tried so hard not to start laughing and keep as still as possible so that they didn’t know he was listening. This was too good to be true. “True,” one of the friends agreed. “He’s well fit. I can’t believe he’s finally single.”

“It was about time,” the other one agreed. “He had that boyfriend since they were in sixth form. I once went to one of the parties and Liam was chatting me up.”

“Liam Payne?” the last one asked.

She hummed in response. “He’s cute, but not like Harry in my opinion.” _Wow_. “Anyhow, I really just wanted to ask about Harry and Liam was the one that told me all about the breakup. I’ve waited months for this, so I’m really happy.”

“Have you even spoken to him?”

“For a brief second. He was very nice and friendly. But then, fucking Jennifer Crowley started grinding up on his arse like a slag, so he was distracted.”

“Heard she got fingered by him in one of the frat brother’s rooms.”

Louis quickly leaned forward as far as he could to not hear the rest of that conversation, because he was officially _done_. It just felt like too much information and he didn’t want to hear the explicit details of what Harry was doing with these girls or boys. It was unsettling and he didn’t like the sudden nasty feeling he got as soon as he heard her say all that. Yeah, Louis knew Harry was hooking up with people, but Harry was never shameless enough to tell Louis in detail what he did with them except for that very first time.

It was new, whatever Louis was feeling, and he didn’t want to feel that way so he tried to get himself into the conversation with the others. El and Taylor were both on their phones, not talking anymore and Louis looked over behind them to see Ashton, Michael, Calum and Luke from the frat drinking out of some thermos.

“What’s that?” Louis asked them curiously.

“Want a sip?” Luke asked, smiling like a minx.

Louis nodded and Luke handed him the thermos. Louis sniffed it once before shrugging and taking a sip. It was chocolate vodka with a splash of something else Louis couldn’t place. It was quite good and he took another sip before handing it back to them. “Why are you guys drinking during a game?” Louis asked laughing.

“Pregaming,” Luke told him. “Everyone’s headed to the bar after this to celebrate.”

“What if we lose?” El asked, looking back at them from her phone.

“We drink to that anyway,” Calum shrugged.

“Shouldn’t have that attitude,” Taylor said. “The way our boys hates those UCL boys is enough to fuel enough energy in them and the team to make sure they win.”

It was another fifteen minutes until the teams started to come out. The UCL side stood up on their feet and cheered when their team came out. So, Imperial took it up a notch and cheered even louder when their team came out. Louis waved his sign as high as he could when he saw Harry. Harry’s eyes were taking in the crowd bit by bit, smiling as he did stretches with Niall and Zayn. He finally looked over at their group, his eyes doing a double take when he noticed the sign Louis was holding.

Harry bent over, laughing, his eyes crinkling as he pointed it out to the other boys. They all looked over and laughed.

“That’s favoritism,” Liam yelled over to Louis with a playful grin.

Louis only laughed and waved the sign higher. Harry smiled at him one last time, smacking his palms to his lips in a kiss and blowing it to him.

“Oh my god,” one of the girls from behind squealed. “He just blew a kiss in this direction.”

“To us?” another one of them practically screamed.

Taylor frowned and looked at them, as though she couldn’t believe they were actually having this conversation. If only she knew what they were talking about before this. “Not quite,” she laughed, still frowning and confused.

They paused and looked over at her, almost offended she was talking to them and singling them out.

“Louis, _his friend_ , made him a sign,” she said, pointing to it, so that they’d understand. They still looked a bit surprised and sat back down in their seats, not saying another word.

Louis started to laugh with El at the fact that Taylor actually responded back to them and tried very hard not to turn around and look at their expressions. Louis sat down with everyone else too, holding his sign up against his legs once the coach blew the whistle to start the game.

Harry stayed back for most of it, letting everyone else do all the playing, until the very end when the ball came close to him. There were no other teammates near him and he almost looked bewildered, confused as to what he should do. So, he took the chance and stole the ball from the opposing team, running towards their goal. It all happened within a few fast seconds, the ball hitting the back of the goal and the entire Imperial side erupting in cheers, getting up to their feet and clapping.

Half the people were in shock that it was Harry that made the goal while the other half were happy that the team actually got a goal. All the boys ran towards Harry, hugging him and messing up his hair that was pulled back with a headband. He still looked way too shocked to actually say or do anything other than let his team jostle him around and congratulate him.

“I think that was his first goal, like ever,” El laughed, clapping and cheering.

“Maybe his lucky charm is somewhere nearby,” Taylor smirked at Louis.

Louis burst out laughing at her rom-com thoughts and held up his sign, waving it around proudly back and forth. Hopefully messing up the view of the girls behind him.

 

+++

Imperial won two to one against UCL. At the end of the game, Zayn, Liam, Niall, and Ed had to be pulled away from the opposing team as they had decided that sticking up their middle fingers and screaming, “Suck my dick,” was a good idea. Regardless, it was fun and they were all buzzed after passing around that big thermos between them. Everyone headed to the bars after the boys showered and freshened up. Harry pulled Louis into a hug as soon as he saw him, practically lifting him up off the ground.

“Oh my god, your sign,” he said, grinning. “I can’t believe you actually did it.”

“I told you I’d make you a sign,” Louis giggled, opening it up for him. Harry traced the letters and the hearts, laughing as he looked at it.

“And did you see my goal?” he asked, not even waiting for Louis’ reply. “That never happens. Everyone thought I was possessed or something.”

Louis laughed and patted him on the back, like he was a little kid. “You did good, pal.”

“Thanks, dude,” Harry said, pulling Louis in with his arms and slinging it around his shoulder so they could walk with the rest of the group. “Honestly, that was the best game ever. Niall told me that the sign you made helped. It spurred me on, he said.”

“My sign just talks about you being a dreamboat,” Louis cackled because even Niall was thinking like Taylor.

“Exactly,” he said. “It’s moral support, either way, whether it be about my playing skills or my perfect face.”

Louis turned to shoot him a look, but Harry’s dimples were out, and how do you tell a guy with dimples that he doesn’t have a perfect face? It’s a given fact and it’s actually a bit unfair. “I think there were more people there for your face than your skills, to be honest,” Louis told him, thinking back to those girls who were sat behind them.

Harry looked at Louis with a confused frown. “What do you mean?”

“You had some fans in the stands,” Louis replied. “They were going on about you the entire time.”

Harry still looked confused, but actually didn’t seem interested in asking more, instead talking about the goal he made again. He was giving Louis ten different play by plays as they walked to the bar and only stopped once they reached there. When they walked inside, Harry placed a hard kiss on Louis’ cheek before walking over to his teammates, all of whom cheered as soon as they saw him.

Louis found the booth the rest of his friends were sitting at and slid in besides Taylor. The other boys were sitting with their team for the time being, so it turned out to be only just the girls with a few of the boys they had been sitting with at the game.

“We were just talking about Barbara and Niall,” Taylor told Louis, as El leaned over to join in on the conversation.

Louis chuckled. “Oh, yeah? What’s the deal with them now?”

“Apparently Niall said ‘I love you,’ when they were having sex the other night. He claims he was still sort of drunk,” El explained. “But we think he actually meant it.”

“Aww,” Louis gushed. “Is our Niall in love?”

The three of them turned to look over at the other table to gauge what Niall was up to. They found him chugging a Vodka bottle down his throat and taking his pants off. Louis pursed his lips and turned back to the girls.

“He sure is a catch, innit?”

They burst out laughing.

 

+++

Theta Chi threw a big Christmas bash after final exams for their last party of the year before everyone had to go home for winter hols. The theme was ugly jumper party, so Taylor, El and Louis stopped by a thrift shop in Soho and got one for each. Louis’s was red with a giant snowman in the middle and he quite liked it.

After pre-gaming at Louis and El’s flat, the three of them headed to the frat house, giggly and excited. They were planning on getting smashed and it was well deserved after grueling days and nights of studying for exams and cramming for papers. The frat house was filling up slowly, people going in with their ugly jumpers and holding drinks in their hands, all free from another semester.

They headed for the drinks stand in the kitchen after saying hi to people that they recognized on the way, asking everyone about their plans for hols and how their exams went. Taylor mixed them something really fruity and they all danced to some dubstep remix of “Last Christmas” that was blaring from the speakers, already well past tipsy. Eventually the boys found them, walking over to dance and steal some of their drinks. Louis realized only halfway through the second song that Harry wasn’t with them.

Louis turned to Liam, who he was dancing with, and asked, “Where’s Harry? I haven’t seen him.”

Liam gestured over to the other room to Louis. “He’s trying to get it in with Ellis Dobbs.” Louis turned to where Liam pointed and saw Harry with a boy, a bit on the short side, but definitely cute. Louis almost scoffed because looking at them, it was like a typical frat boy move in some teen movie from the 90’s. The other guy was leaning against the wall while smiling up at Harry, who had his hand leaning on the wall above the guy’s head, caging him in with a smirk that was too smug.

It wasn’t that Louis disliked the guy; he just didn’t feel very positive about him. Louis tried convincing himself that the only reason that was was because he wasn’t even wearing an ugly jumper. He had on some white t-shirt and the v-neck was entirely too big, bordering on douchebag status. So, it was easier trying to believe that than actually believing Louis disliked him for the mere fact that Harry was all over him.

Louis turned away from them, trying to get rid of the unsettling feeling that had been coming up whenever Louis saw Harry with someone else. It was new and had never happened before and Louis didn’t like it. Perhaps because he never saw Harry actually go for it the way he had been as of late, like the night after their game at the bar. One minute he’d been drinking with his teammates and the next he was making out with one of the girls who were sat behind Louis during the game by the jukebox machine. Louis couldn’t look at Harry for the rest of the night because he felt like he’d snap and actually say something that he shouldn’t.

Tonight felt no different and Louis kind of hated it. He was the one that helped Harry get girls that first night and now he was the one who felt uncomfortable seeing him continue. It was hypocritical and stupid. And Louis wasn’t stupid either. He knew there was a name for what he was feeling and it would only be so long until it would be obvious to him like shiny neon lights, but until then he’d rather be oblivious.

Louis tried shrugging it off and continued dancing with the others until he got tired and took a seat. He took out his phone, going through texts and things until he felt someone crash in next to him. Louis turned to see Harry, grinning down at him with red cheeks and even redder lips. “Hey,” Louis laughed. “What are you doing?”

“Looking for you,” he said. “What’s up?”

“I got tired and decided to take a break,” Louis replied. He looked at Harry’s green jumper, complete with actual twinkling lights, and smiled. “Nice jumper. Suits you.”

“Yeah?” he asked, dimpling. “Ellis Dobbs told me it brought out the green in my eyes.”

Louis laughed uncomfortably because who the fuck asked about Ellis Dobbs? “That’s funny.”

Harry nodded, leaning in closer. “So, see anyone you like?”

“What?” Louis asked, distracted by how dark Harry’s eyes looked all of a sudden.

“I could hook you up, you know,” he slurred. “Told you I’d be your wingman. I’ll pay someone to be under the mistletoe with you.”

“Fuck you,” Louis glared at him, but Harry only laughed, pulling Louis closer.

“I’m kidding about that part, but I can help you.”

“You’re still on about that, then?” Louis asked him.

He shrugged, leaning back against his seat. “Only seems fair.” Harry scoured the room, looking for a boy for Louis he assumed, and stopped at Carter Samuels from his frat. “Do you know Carter?”

Louis nodded his head with a smile. “Yeah, but I don’t want to hook up with him.”

“Do you even know him? He’s got babes coming at him left and right. And once he takes a good look at you and I’ve had a thing or two to say, he won’t be looking at anyone but you.”

Louis made a noncommittal sound and shrugged, like he really wasn’t interested. However, it didn’t stop Harry from calling Carter over and sitting him down next to Louis.

“Have you met Louis?” Harry asked, smiling.

Carter nodded his head, smiling at Louis. “We have. A few times. Good to see you again, Louis. Love the jumper.”

“Thanks,” Louis smiled.

“Any plans for the hols? Going home?” Carter asked.

“Yeah,” Louis nodded. “Back to Doncaster. You?”

Carter rattled off about how he’s from Birmingham and his parents are having this big Christmas get together. It was in the middle of him talking about his dog that Ellis Dobbs came over and plopped down next to Harry, the two of them immediately starting to make out right in front of Louis. Louis quickly turned away, looking back at Carter, even though he had no idea what he was saying anymore. That unsettling feeling was back and stronger than ever.

This time Louis could start to place what the word was for what he was feeling.

Jealousy was ugly and it was something he never enjoyed feeling. It made a person feel powerless and almost crazy. The term came with possessiveness and nothing here was Louis’. So what did he have to feel jealous for? He couldn’t make sense of anything at that point and the only thing he wanted to do was vomit all over Ellis Dobbs ugly v-neck t-shirt and pull him away from Harry, which he couldn’t do.

Carter might have noticed the sudden change in Louis’ expression and looked at Louis concerned. Carter was cute, blue eyes and dark hair quiffed up with pomade, but it wasn’t familiar. Not like brown, chocolate curls that bounced whenever Louis pulled on them.

“You alright?” Carter asked Louis.

Louis nodded his head, but then shook it. “I have to go, I’m sorry. It was nice talking to you.”

Carter nodded his head, giving Louis a small smile before letting him get up, and walk out of there. Louis didn’t know if Harry saw, what with there being another face on his, but he didn’t stick around to check. Instead, Louis walked straight back to his flat and packed up for home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [tumblr](http://quitefinishedlarry.tumblr.com/) / [fic page](http://quitefinishedlarry.tumblr.com/yail) / [chapter post](http://quitefinishedlarry.tumblr.com/post/136956264930/fic-you-are-in-love-author-wildestdreams)  
>   
>  ps: big thanks to ao3 user whoknows and her college au for the idea of louis holding up a sign for harry during his games. :)


	11. the one where it rains

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhh schedule is a bit messed up but im in a completely different time zone and im a mess. next update should be on thursday. thanks to [mac](http://realitybetterthanfiction.tumblr.com/) for being the best help!  
>   
> you guys will love me for this ch hehehe

The day after Christmas, Niall started a group chat with the group asking for everyone’s New Years plans. The group chat _actually_ started the day after they’d left school, but it slowed down once they all got back in the swing of things at home. None of them wanted to spend their whole time on their phones talking to each other when they were with their families for the holidays.

Louis caught up with his mum and stepdad, Dan. He also spent a lot of quality time with his younger sisters, all of whom were growing up more and more every time he came back for hols. Christmas was a complete family affair. Louis’ parents invited his grandparents, aunts, uncles, and little cousins to come visit and have dinner with them. Louis got a lot of new colognes, gift cards, and a new Adidas jumper and joggers set from his mum, which he screamed at when he saw. All in all, it was fun, but he did miss his friends and had no plans for NYE. And after a quick chat with the rest of them, he found out that neither did they.

That’s why the night of NYE, they all travelled back to their flats and met up to go to a rave up in Tobacco Dock that Niall had heard about. Louis arrived at his flat with a change of clothes in tow and was met with hugs from Taylor and El.

“I missed you so much,” El exclaimed, pulling Louis in. “Not having you down the hall was so weird.”

“I missed you, too,” Louis cried, hugging her back and placing a kiss on her head before pulling away. “But now it’s time to get back into the swing of things and ring in the New Year as we fuckin should -- by getting wasted!”

The girls cheered in agreement, pulling him into another group hug.

+++

After getting dressed, they walked to the boys’ flat and rang the bell obnoxiously when they arrived. They were told pre-game would happen at Ed, Zayn and Liam’s flat, so they were surprised when Niall opened the door, greeting them with a loud, “Heeeeeeeey!”

“Hey,” they all screamed back, hugging him so hard that he staggered backwards, making them fall with him.

“Yes,” Niall groaned from under them. “This is exactly how I want to ring in the New Year.”

“Oh, shush. You love it,” El tutted, finally getting up on her feet and running into the kitchen to see the others. Taylor and Louis followed, hugging each of the boys.

“Look who it is,” Zayn said, hugging Louis. “Long time no see.”

“Good to see you, too, loser,” Louis laughed, pulling away and then hugging Ed.

“Had a good Christmas?” Zayn asked.

Louis nodded. “Was good. How was yours?”

“Good,” he replied. “Loved seeing my family and eating good food.”

“Ahh,” Louis cooed. “Did mummy Malik make you lots of brown food?”

“She packed me about a month’s worth of biryani, so I can’t complain,” Zayn grinned.

“He won’t even share,” Ed added, looking over at them. Zayn rolled his eyes behind Ed and then the two of them started arguing about how delicate the portioning of the food was. Louis let the two of them settle their own argument and turned to Harry, who was smiling at him expectantly.

“Hi, you,” Louis smiled, sweetly.

Harry grinned, pulled Louis into a tight hug. It felt like a breath of fresh air hugging him. They somehow knew exactly how to hold each other so they would fit perfectly and it always felt nice. Louis’ arms around Harry’s neck while Harry’s hands were around Louis’ waist, exactly right. “You look really nice. Missed you,” Harry mumbled into his ear before letting him go and kissing his cheek.

“Missed you, too,” Louis said to him, poking him on the chest with his forefinger.

HIs eyes widened when his finger didn’t sink in like he thought it would. Harry’s chest was quite firm. Sturdy even, in his thin white t-shirt. It was nice. Not just his firm chest, but seeing him and talking to him. Things got momentarily awkward between them after Louis’d left the Christmas party without a word. Louis felt like shit all night and it was hard for him to accept that he’d gotten a bit jealous about Harry with other people, which was insane. Louis ignored Harry’s texts that night just because he had no idea what to say to him, but it didn’t matter much because Harry only sent two. It didn’t take a genius to figure out what he’d gotten busy doing instead of texting.

The time away from school gave Louis a good chance to escape all that because it was a bit too much all at once. Harry didn’t ask about that night again and they didn’t speak as much as they usually did aside from when Harry called Louis on his birthday. It was good because Louis’ mind was freshened up and it wouldn’t be an issue anymore. He was over that weird jealousy stint.

It didn’t occur to Louis until Harry grabbed his finger and entwined their fingers that he’d been standing there staring at Harry with his finger still on his chest for quite some time. Louis cleared his throat and looked away, untangling their hands. Harry smiled at him before turning back to the drinks asking Louis what he wanted.

“Anything’s good,” Louis replied. “I’ll be out there waiting.” Louis quickly walked back to the living room to avoid doing anything more embarrassing when Taylor ran out from the hallway, giggling like a little girl. “What happened?” Louis asked her, taking a seat beside Ed and El.

“I finally got my revenge,” she said, jumping up on the couch before landing back down on her bum.

“Revenge?” El asked.

“On Liam. For walking in on me naked. I just walked in on him having a shower. He’s quite big,” she said casually as though she wasn’t talking about the dick size of one of her closest friend’s.

Everyone’s eyes widened, but no one looked more shocked than Ed, who was close to tears. “Bloody Liam and his huge wang.”

El and Louis snickered in amusement. A few moments later, Liam walked in, dressed and hair quiffed up, glancing over at Ed and Taylor nervously. Taylor shot him a smug smile and Ed glared at him, shaking his head. Liam knew better and walked over to sit with Louis and gave him a hug in greeting. The others eventually joined them and walked over bearing drinks and cups, passing them around so they could get the party started. It was as though none of them were separated for a good two weeks after seeing each other nearly every day. Everyone fell back into each other, laughing and drinking, having their usual banter.

The same could be said about Harry and Louis. Harry held a red cup in his hand and sat down on the seat Liam had just vacated, putting his arm around Louis’ shoulder to bring him closer. It felt normal and like they’d done it a thousand times, which they did.

“So, Tommo,” Harry said, sipping his cup and then turning to Louis. “How you been? How was your Christmas?”

“It was good,” Louis replied. “The whole family got together at our place and we opened presents, had dinner, took a nap, and then got together again for dessert.”

Harry smiled, nodding his head and drumming his fingers against Louis’ arm, making it feel a bit ticklish. “Sounds about right. What’d you get for Christmas?”

“Lots of gift cards. And scents and Adidas wear,” Louis said, gesturing down to his Adidas t-shirt.

“Looks good on you,” Harry said, eyeing Louis not so subtly. “As do most things.”

“That’s quite a statement,” Louis countered, smirking.

“I mean it.”

“What if I wore El’s clothes?”

“You would look _banging_.”

Louis laughed, covering his mouth, and leaning back against Harry’s arm. “What if I wore, like, a plastic bag and nothing else?”

Harry chewed his lip and then grinned at him. “Then you’d basically be wearing nothing so that’s even hotter.”

Louis gasped in surprise at Harry’s answer and stared at him with wide eyes until Harry laughed. “That’s not funny. It’s scandalous. You’ve no shame,” Louis huffed.

“My mother says that about me when I get super drunk with my great uncle Phil and dance to Shania Twain.”

Louis snorted and thanked God that he wasn’t drinking anything because he would have spit it right out. “You’re joking.”

“I speak nothing but the truth, babe.”

Louis giggled again at the mental image and looked at Harry. “Is that what you did for Christmas?”

He shook his head quickly, flashing his dimples. “That was last Christmas. I behaved this time. We also had a similar family get together and dinner type of thing. Not much else to do in Holmes Chapel, but it felt nice to see everyone.”

“Get anything good?”

“Same as you. Lots of gift cards.”

The two of them were back to their usual banter and flowing conversation, going back and forth, laughing and making stupid comments at each other. It was easy and comfortable as it always was with Harry. Louis still couldn’t understand why he was jealous of all those people Harry had been with when Louis knew what he was doing. You don’t usually get jealous of your guy friends hooking up with other people. Louis knew he never felt that way about Zayn or Liam whenever they were ever making out with someone at parties.

Louis tried to rationalize it in his head by saying that he wasn’t as close with Zayn and Liam as he was with Harry. Yeah, they were some of his best friends, but Harry and Louis spent a lot more time together. They shared things with each other that they didn’t with other people. Louis just wasn’t ready to see him get that close with other people.

That was the only explanation.

+++

They reached Tobacco Dock forty minutes later in two cabs, wonderfully drunk and ready to have a good time. It was a lot louder and lot bigger than their usual surroundings, but they all walked in holding hands in a line and tried to stay in one place together. The DJ was playing a combination of house and EDM mixes making the whole crowd jump up on their feet and dance with their hands in the air. It was almost instinctive the way their bodies just started moving with the beat.

They all got glow sticks and waved them up in the air, dancing together. El pulled Louis closer at one point and the two of them screamed along with the music, jumping up and down, getting into the feel of things. It was almost intoxicating to be in such a place where everyone was focused on the music and dancing from the minute they entered. It almost felt like letting go and just freeing yourself because no one was trying to throw out any crazy shapes, everyone was just doing whatever came to mind.

Everyone danced for hours, taking turns to go one on one with each other, but not for long because they’d always end up laughing. A while after, Louis felt someone wrapping their arms around his waist, the firm press of a solid body against his, and he stilled. Louis turned around and found it was Harry. Louis smiled at him, leaning into his touch and just moving. It felt nice to be held. Almost uninhibiting and reckless to be this close to Harry without thinking about the fact that they were just friends. Just friends didn’t dance like this, and Louis knew they were cutting it close with the way he’d been feeling lately and what everyone else had been saying about them. And Louis knew the two of them were drunk, acting on feelings they didn’t usually express, but he didn’t really care at that point.

Harry’s touch was addictive and soft. Louis could feel Harry’s fingers slipping past his shirt, underneath to his skin where his hand splayed across Louis’ stomach to make sure he wouldn’t stray too far from his hold. It made Louis feel dizzy and he giggled, leaning his head back on Harry’s shoulder. Harry smiled down at him, his lips unbearably red and close. When Harry’s hands drifted further up Louis’ torso, his lips touched gently over the skin of Louis’ neck as he pressed a soft kiss there. It sent a shiver up his spine despite the obvious heat in the room not just from dancing, but from this whole exchange itself. Harry’s fingers slid back down again and he stared at Louis for a moment before leaning in close to his ear.

“Let’s get something to drink,” Harry said. He pulled back to look Louis in the eye and Louis nodded, taking his hand and following him up a set of stairs where they had a bar on a balcony that was serving glow in the dark drinks. Harry ordered two and handed Louis one before they both stood side by side and looked over at the dance floor on the lower ground.

Louis could spot Ed and Taylor, dancing and laughing with an occasional break to just make out. The two of them probably felt a little out of place since this wasn’t really their scene, but they kept up and looked like they were having fun.

Louis swayed to the music, turning back to Harry to see another guy beside them. He was wearing a bright pair of shorts with nothing on top but glow in the dark necklaces and neon paint across his chest. And if looks were anything to go by, he looked very taken by Harry. His eyes were shamelessly raking over Harry’s body and Harry wasn’t oblivious, a smirk on his lips as he tried to play ignorant. The guy was with his friends, but they were dancing behind him and drinking, while his focus was on Harry.

Harry suddenly turned and locked eyes with Louis. Their first instinct was to laugh, but they tried their best not to, even though their faces were scrunching up. It wasn’t that the guy wasn’t attractive. Generally speaking, he was really cute and had a great body, but he looked like a try hard. Louis wasn’t even sure if the guy had even spoken to Harry. He was too busy looking hot, leaning up against the wall, and moving along with the beat of the music and drinking.

The guy eventually moved back towards the bar again and Louis leaned in close to Harry. “See anything you like?” he asked Harry, trying hard not to laugh.

“Shut up,” he muttered, laughing. “That’s not funny. He’s a bit aggressive, but fit, too.”

“Could be exciting, Styles. He could rock your world.”

“Maybe.”

“Maybe? Have you seen his abs?”

“True, but he’s not subtle, is he?” Harry asked Louis.

“Oh, get over yourself. He obviously wants you.”

“He might until he realizes how vanilla I am. He seems like he’d have some fetishes and I would just disappoint.”

Louis snorted, leaning his body against Harry’s. It was uncharacteristic of Louis to bring up another boy hooking up with Harry when he clearly didn’t like seeing him with other people. However, a sick part of Louis knew that Harry wouldn’t go for that boy and that he’d shrug off whatever attention he was giving, which made Louis feel good. Good about the fact that Harry was choosing to stand here with Louis rather than chat the guy up. Louis didn’t really have enough strength to figure out the meaning behind all these thoughts he was having with all the drinks he’d had, but he was content with just going with it. Going with whatever the two of them were doing because it definitely felt different. The air had been a bit charged between Harry and Louis since the moment Louis saw him today and it was charged now every time they touched.

Another round of drinks later, their friends joined the two of them to take a break and get something to drink themselves. Taylor and Ed opted for water while the others went for the glow in the dark drinks from the bar. They all stood around, talking and cooling off, since they were all sweaty and grimy.

“This is fun,” El said, swirling the straw in her drink.

“Yeah,” Louis agreed. “Should thank Niall since he found out about it and called us.”

“We should. Wonder who he’s kissing at midnight.”

“I have no idea,” Louis replied. That was a good point. A midnight kiss was expected for them all. Ed and Taylor are obviously kissing, but what about the rest of them? They were all single and independent. Louis turned to look back at El and nudged her with his hip. “Who are _you_ kissing?”

“Liam said he’ll kiss me at midnight,” she said.

Louis cocked his head to the side and narrowed his eyes at her. “You’re gonna plant one on Payne?”

“There’s nothing wrong with kissing friends at midnight on New Year's Eve. It’s good luck. What about you?”

“I haven’t thought about it,” Louis said, eyes drifting over to their friends and then to Harry who was now back to talking to the shirtless guy. Shirtless guy finally ended up saying something to Harry instead of just staring. It seemed he might do more with the way he was touching Harry on the arm and chest. This guy obviously needed a straight jacket or something because who told him that was okay?

Louis shrugged, looking back at El. “Don’t think I’ll be kissing anyone.”

“Really?” she pouted.

“Afraid not.”

“Well, even if you don’t,” El reasoned, taking Louis’ hands and smiling. “It’s not that big of a deal.”

“Exactly. I’m not that stressed out about it, anyway.”

“What about Harry, though?”

“What about me?” Harry asked appearing behind El, wrapping his arms around her and smiling at Louis. El widened her eyes at Louis at almost being caught and smiled slyly after a second. Louis didn’t like that smile of hers. It always meant she was up to no good.

“Nothing. We were just talking,” Louis replied quickly before she could get any ideas.

“We were actually just talking about midnight kisses,” El told Harry, like it was cool to catch him up.

“Oh,” Harry’s face lit up. “Have you got one, El?”

She nodded, turning her head to face Harry. “Yes, I do. Louis doesn’t, though. What about you?” She eyed Harry with a critical expression, as though this was life and death.

He shrugged. “Some guy’s been into me all night and I think he wants to kiss me. I don’t know, though. His name’s Ron and he’s a bit out there.”

As soon as Harry said that, Louis started to doubt a few things. He’d always thought that since the year had started he’d gotten to know Harry quite well. Better than most of his friends and maybe Harry’s as well, but maybe Harry wasn’t like he used to be anymore. Maybe hooking up with other people and having this newfound sense of confidence was changing him to the point where Louis couldn’t even tell what Harry really wanted. Louis’d been so sure that Harry wasn’t going to do anything with that Ron guy, but he clearly charmed Harry somehow enough to get him wondering whether or not Ron should be his midnight kiss.

Louis couldn’t let his confusion show so he laughed as genuinely as he could. “That’s one way to put it.”

Harry laughed while El just looked put off by the whole conversation. Louis knew what she wanted and he wasn’t surprised that her rom-com loving heart was disappointed. She had been on to Harry and Louis from the start and she’d been waiting for the day that something would just happen. With all this talk from her end, sometimes it did get Louis wondering, but Harry was here and he was kissing someone else apparently.

It almost made Louis mad at El for even putting the idea in his head. Liam was kissing her because she didn’t have a midnight kiss. Louis knew there was nothing romantic between Liam and her, but she still was getting a kiss. As much as Louis didn’t even want to acknowledge or admit that there was something between Harry and him, he wanted to know why Harry didn’t want to kiss _Louis_ at midnight. Why was he choosing some random guy wearing tacky neon paint over his bare body in a dark and dingy warehouse full of sweaty people?

Just then Zayn called Harry from the bar and Harry walked over, leaving Louis and El alone again. “Where’s the dickhead?” El asked, looking around the area as soon as he was gone.

“What?” Louis said, snapping out of his thoughts.

“Where’s the dickhead that’s trying to kiss him?”

Louis burst out laughing, bending over on his knees. “El,” Louis rasped out. “What is wrong with you?”

“Tell me,” she laughed, still scanning the room.

“He’s the shirtless one by the bar,” Louis replied, getting up into a standing position and leaning against the wall.

El’s eyes zeroed in on him and she turned to look at Louis with disgust. “Is he serious? He’s choosing him over you? That’s gross -- and not because he isn’t hot because _hello_ , but because he’s not you.”

“He’s not choosing anyone over me,” Louis told her, hoping it would not only convince her, but himself, too. “It’s not like we planned to kiss tonight or any night.”

“I hinted at it very hard,” she replied. “He’s not stupid.”

Louis shrugged, unable to find anything more to say because he really wasn’t sure if Harry got what El was trying to hint at. She was very obvious with the way she’d gotten caught and then brought that whole topic about. Did Harry understand her or did he just pretend not to?

It was a half hour till midnight and the place was buzzing with excitement to get the countdown started. They all trooped back on to the dance floor from the bar. This time Ron followed Harry on to the dance floor with them and was practically draping his body all over Harry.

Harry caught Louis’ eye and made a face and Louis smiled, hoping it was casual enough before turning away. So, Harry was actually going to go through with it and kiss Ron. Cool. Louis tried shaking it off and just danced with everyone else until the countdown started. People were screaming out the numbers starting from twenty, jumping up on their feet. Louis saw Harry trying to make his way over to the group and grabbing on to Zayn so that he could join them, even though Ron was holding on like a leech.

It got a bit calmer once they got to ten and counted down. It was as if everyone was waiting for the place to blow up as they got closer to one. Everyone was finding their partner who they’d be kissing at midnight. Ed and Taylor were cuddled up while Liam and El were laughing too hard to even try. Zayn had found some girl he’d been talking and dancing with and Niall apparently found a girl as well. And when Louis looked at Harry and Ron, he was surprised to see him staring back at him.

“Five!”

Louis tilted his head to the side, looking back at Harry, with a questioning smile.

“Four!”

Harry smiled back, only to have his face be pulled back to look at Ron.

“Three!”

Louis turned away so that he could avoid looking at them when they kissed and turned back to the others.

“Two!”

Only to casually turn back again because he was obviously a fan of self-destruction.

“One!”

Harry caught Louis’ eye, turning away from Ron again, and the whole place erupted in cheers and screams around them. Harry grinned at Louis and screamed along with everyone while Ron stared at him, waiting for his kiss. He pulled on Harry’s shirt and Harry looked at him but turned back to Louis, laughing comically like he couldn’t take him seriously anymore. Louis tried not to smile too hard at that and looked back at his other friends.

Everyone was kissing around Louis aside from a few single people here and there just surrounded by friends. Ed and Taylor were making out just like Zayn and his girl, El and Liam shared a chaste kiss, and Niall and his girl were hugging it out like old friends. Louis giggled, running over to El and Liam and giving both of them a hug. The others joined them soon after, exchanging hugs, while the music started up again to get the party going.

Harry appeared beside Louis and smiled, leaning close. “Let’s get out of here,” he said. “Ron’s pissed.”

“Why’s he pissed?” Louis asked him.

“Wouldn’t kiss him,” he shrugged. “Come on.”

Louis tried to ignore the fluttering feeling in his stomach and nodded his head, taking Harry’s hand once again and walking out through the throngs of people who were still dancing. When they finally stepped outside, it was raining heavily, but Louis let out a long sigh of relief. While it was fun inside, the air was stuffy and smoky, full of different smells and it felt good to finally breathe clean oxygen. Harry turned to Louis and smiled, walking backwards out further onto the street, getting soaked.  

“I can’t believe that just happened,” Harry said, snorting.

“What?” Louis asked, following him.

“I don’t know,” he mumbled looking down at his feet before looking back up at Louis. “I kind of want to leave. Do you want to go, too?”

Louis bit his lip and contemplated. On one hand, all their friends were back there and this party was definitely going to go on till the early morning, but standing out here with the rain washing away all the sweat and grime of the night was making Louis feel really good. He also just kind of wanted to get away from the loud music and be with Harry. No parties or girls and boys or anything. Just Harry and Louis.  

Plus, it felt like Harry was choosing Louis over this entire night, which was nice. He didn’t want to get ahead of himself about anything, but Harry skipped out on a kiss and a shag on New Years just to walk out of there and ask Louis to go home with him. How could Louis say no?

Louis nodded his head and they started to slowly walk away from the warehouse.

“Why didn’t you kiss him?” Louis asked him, running a hand through his soaked hair.

Harry laughed softly, his dimples deep and prominent. “It didn’t feel right for some reason. Besides, you know how I felt about him.”

“Yeah, but he was basically throwing himself at you and you seemed to be interested at some point.”

He shrugged. “I wasn’t necessarily interested as I was just passing time. He approached me and started talking to me, so I just went along with it. Then when I wouldn’t kiss him, he got really pissed, and I just didn’t want to stay anymore.”

“Oh,” Louis said. “Wow.”

“I also kind of started to feel stuffy after a while. It was way hot in there, so when Ron started yelling at me, I was just like I have to leave. I didn’t want to go home alone, though, and who better than you?”

Louis laughed, stepping over a puddle. “I’m glad. I felt the same, even though it was fun.”

“Yeah, it was fun. Definitely different.”

Louis hummed in response as they continued to walk, neither of them bothered by the fact that they were soaked completely. Their hands brushed as they swung them back and forth and Louis didn’t realize until then that neither of them were wearing a coat. It also occurred to him that it was probably an hour or two to walk back home. They were fucked, but surprisingly, Louis didn’t care much. He felt elated, still drunk from the drinks and from the excitement of this night. Also happy to just be with Harry.

“Any resolutions?” Louis asked him.

Harry turned to Louis, eyelashes clumped up and dark from the rain. “I think maybe work out a bit more. I slacked a bit last year. What about you?”

“I’m not sure yet,” Louis told him. “You want to help me?”

“Okay,” he nodded, smiling. “Anything you hated about this past year that you’d want to change?”

Louis thought about it and actually had no complaints. Things had more or less worked out for the better for him. He had a great set of friends, his family was healthy, he was on the right track school wise, and all he could hope for was that the upcoming year be just as nice. “No,” Louis said to Harry. “I’ve had a pretty amazing fucking year.”

Harry grinned cheekily. “Because you met me?”

Louis shrugged, noncommittally, like Harry wasn’t completely right. “I don’t know. You might have had a tiny, itty, bitty part in it?”

“A tiny, itty, bitty part?” Harry asked, laughing. “You sure about that?”

“Maybe a tad bit more,” he concluded.

“Oh, alright,” Harry said pretending like he wasn’t bothered by it and could care less.

“Harry,” Louis said softly, not being able to stop giggling.

“Yeah?”

“I’m really fucking glad I met you,” Louis said, full on laughing now.

He turned to look at Louis, smirking at him as he laughed. “You just said that I only had a tiny, itty, bitty part in making your year great.”

“I might have underplayed it a little,” Louis replied.

“Yeah, you did,” Harry agreed, laughing with him. “And in case you were wondering, you definitely helped make my year, too.”

“Yeah?” he asked.

Harry nodded, stopping in his tracks and turning to face Louis. “You’ve literally been the highlight of my year, Lou. I couldn’t have asked for someone better.”

“Harry,” Louis whispered, speechless from depth of what he was saying.

“No,” he shook his head. “Let me finish. Like, you’ve helped me through a breakup from a relationship that I thought I was going to have forever. You helped me realize that life doesn’t always work out the way that we planned, but that doesn’t mean it’s the worst thing to have happened. Every cloud has a silver lining, right, and you helped me realize that.”

Louis smiled at him as Harry took his hands in his own.

“And I’m just glad I have you in my life because you make me feel like I’ll be okay. You’ve seen me at some of my lowest and you’ve helped me figure out a way to make it all not so sucky. And when you hug me, Louis, I feel like everything’s okay. Like I’m okay and nothing’s wrong.”

“Well, then what are you waiting for?” Louis laughed, feeling hysterical and overwhelmed from how much he was feeling for this curly headed idiot in front of him. “Come hug me.”

Harry grinned, pulling Louis into his arms and holding on tight. Louis rested his head where Harry’s neck and shoulder met and tried to put everything he had into this hug so he’d know how much Louis cared about him. What Louis’d do and how far he’d go just to see Harry happy. You don’t meet a lot of people in your life who you could have such intense, deep connections with. Only a handful, so when you do meet them, it’s important that they know how you feel and how much they mean to you.

Louis loosened his arms and pulled away slightly so he could look at Harry, even though Harry’s arms were still tight around his waist. Louis smiled when their eyes locked and they were just so close it almost seemed silly to not do anything.

“I’m going to kiss you now,” Harry said, slow and sure like Louis was going to let him, which he was. How could Louis not when it had crossed his mind once or maybe fifty times? And it didn’t help that there was something extremely hot about how Harry was so fucking self assured and smug, exactly how Louis figured he would be. That’s just Harry. He was confident and charming, able to get anyone or anything he wants if he set his mind to it.

Louis knew somewhere in the back of his mind that this was all sudden and a bit out of place, but Harry was here and he was so close Louis could see the how green his eyes were. Louis nodded just so Harry would do it already and Louis could stop thinking about his lips and all the things he could with them.

Harry moved one of his hands further up Louis’ back and pulled him close once again, capturing Louis’ lips with his. Louis’ mind instantly shut up about everything and anything other than Harry’s lips on his, moving slow and perfect, just the way he liked it. His hands wound tighter around Harry, moving up to twine through his hair. Harry’s lips parted Louis’ to kiss him deeper and he could hear himself making soft noises through all the static in his head.

And Louis felt like he should have known that kissing Harry would make him want to keep kissing him for days. He was both so tender and aggressive, that it left Louis shaky on his feet. Louis had to lean on him to steady himself and stay upright. Almost regretful when it started to fade out and they were both out of breath as they pulled away.

“Better than any other midnight kiss,” Harry whispered, bringing one of his hands to cup Louis’ cheek.

Louis blushed, leaning into the touch, not wanting Harry to stop holding him. Maybe ever.

“Want to go home?” Harry asked.

Louis nodded, a bit too eagerly and Harry grinned, pulling away unfortunately to hail a cab so they wouldn’t have to walk for hours. Harry held Louis’ hand however, while he found one and the two of them got in. Once he told the driver the address, he sat close to Louis, still not letting go.

The closer they got to home, the more Louis felt like coming out of his skin and bursting from how hot things had gotten within a matter of minutes. He could feel the heat radiating between them even though they’d walked through cold rain for a good half hour. Louis’ skin warmed up every time Harry touched him with his fingertips and Louis could still feel Harry’s lips on his own. It was maddening and Louis’d never felt like this before. Like months and months of subconscious, pent up frustration finally breaking the surface.  

Louis didn’t know what “going home” meant to Harry, but he couldn’t deny that what he wanted was more. He wasn’t sure if what was happening was because they were drunk or if it would have happened either way. All Louis knew was that Harry kissed _him_ and he was taking _him_ home, not Ron or anyone else. That’s all that mattered to him at that point. Seeing him with other people was hard and it was something Louis tried to forget, but it wasn’t made easier.

The driver pulled up in front of Harry’s flat and they climbed out. Harry quickly paid him before turning to look at Louis.

“You wanna come up, right?” he asked, voice soft and sexy at the same time. Louis didn’t even know Harry could sound like that. He didn’t know _anyone_ could sound like that.

“Yeah,” Louis replied.

Harry grinned, taking Louis’ hand and pulling him in for another kiss. This one was a lot more chaste, but hard and playful. He led Louis to the elevator where he crowded him against the wall, pressing soft kisses on his neck.

“Fuck,” Louis groaned when Harry kissed a sensitive spot. Louis fisted Harry’s shirt in his hands until Harry looked up at him again, smiling. The elevator doors opened and Harry walked backwards towards his flat, his grip on Louis not loosening. Louis giggled, pushing Harry against his door and kissed him hotly so Harry’d know just how insane he was making him. Louis hadn’t wanted anyone this much in so long and he couldn’t even wrap his head around the fact that it was Harry.  

“Shit,” Harry groaned, pulling away to open the door. He managed to unlock it and the two of them stumbled in, kissing and trying to make their way through the dark. “My room?”

Louis nodded quickly, pulling him back in. Harry maneuvered the two of them to his bedroom and closed it behind him. “Want you so bad right now,” he mumbled against Louis’ lips, pushing Louis on to his bed before crawling up on top of him.

Louis scoffed. “Is that your dirty talk, Styles?”

“You complaining?” Harry asked, trailing kisses down the column of neck and then pushing aside the collar of his t-shirt. His lips were soft and tender, but felt like fire against Louis’ skin. Louis let out soft noises of approval, urging him to keep going.

“Just thought it’d be hotter,” Louis countered eventually.

Harry pulled away, smirking down at Louis as his hands spread Louis’ legs apart so he could fit between them. His other hand was flat against the space next to Louis’ head and he looked breathtaking with the way he was hovering over Louis, his lips a dark shade of pink. His silver cross chain that he always wore was dangling down over Louis, swinging back and forth.

“I don’t know what dirty talk you’re used to,” Harry started to say while running his hand up Louis’ thigh towards the center. “But I can assure you that I’ll do things you’ll never forget.”

There was something so fucking attractive about how cocky Harry was being and it was almost irritating. His expression, his body language and that self-satisfied attitude that came with his smug attitude and comments drove Louis insane. It didn’t help that he had a fucking smirk on his lips, as always, and Louis wanted to both punch and kiss it off of him.

Louis pulled on his chain and leaned up to meet him halfway for a filthy kiss where their tongues met before their lips. Harry moaned, his fingers sliding over Louis’ jeans and fiddling with the button. He managed to unbutton it and help Louis pull it off. Harry’s hands roamed back up over Louis’ knickers and Harry looked down when he noticed it was white lace.

“Fuck,” Harry growled, looking back up at Louis. “Do you have any idea how much I’ve been thinking about you in lace since I saw them in your drawer? So fucking hot, Lou.”

“You have?” Louis asked in a surprised tone, running his hand through Harry’s hair while the other held on to his bicep. “Wanna take if off?”

Harry smiled, nodding as his palm pressed down on Louis’ hard cock. It had been hard since they were in the car and the relief that washed over Louis when Harry touched him felt amazing.

“Take your clothes off, too, then,” Louis said, not liking the fact that he was the only one getting naked.

Harry lifted himself up onto his knees and pulled off his shirt and then his skinny jeans. Once he was clad in his boxers, he situated himself back between Louis’ legs and kissed him deeply, hands running up his thighs again. His fingers traced the outline of Louis’ lace and he slipped his fingers under the edge, taking Louis and stroking softly. Every touch made Louis’ eyes flutter shut in pleasure and he knew it wouldn’t be long until he came. Not with the way Harry was touching, kissing and consuming every single one of his senses.

His thumb brushed over the slit, pre-come dribbling out as Harry spread it down to stroke more smoothly. Louis couldn’t help but let out a drawn out moan. Harry’s hot breath fanned his cheek as he pushed the panties aside to free Louis’ cock, making something hot curl up in his stomach. Harry looked down at Louis almost in amazement as he continued to pump.

“You look so good like this,” Harry breathed. “Thought about you like this all night. Wanted to take you apart and watch you come.”

“Harry,” Louis moaned almost desperately as Harry’s thumb rubbed on the head. “ _Please_.”

Harry leaned down, trailing soft kisses on Louis’ lips and then cheeks, before moving down to his collarbones, where he sucked on the skin there, biting and licking occasionally. Harry’s fist continued to work, jerking Louis off in a quicker pace while Louis panted underneath him. When Harry bit down on the love bite he left, Louis came with Harry’s name on his tongue. Harry moved back up to kiss him again, his fingers still curled loosely around Louis’ cock. Louis writhed around, feeling oversensitive, but so content.

“You alright?” Harry asked.

Louis nodded, smiling at him. Louis kissed Harry for what seemed like the hundredth time that night and made him shuffle around so he was flat on his back. Louis smiled at him shyly, taking off his knickers and throwing them on the floor beside the bed before climbing over on top of him. Harry was ridiculously hard underneath his boxers from what Louis could see, watching him with an awestruck expression as though he couldn’t believe it.

“You going to come over here?” Harry asked, voice gravelly and deep.

“I’m trying to put on a show,” Louis told him, moving over so that he was straddling Harry’s hips.

“I can see that,” Harry chuckled, moving his hands over to hold Louis steady. Louis moved his own hand down to the waistband of Harry’s boxers and pulled it down to let his cock out. He swiped his thumb over the tip, spreading his pre-come, which was practically dripping down to his base, pumping it in his hand. Harry tipped his head back, eyes rolling back in pleasure and Louis smiled, pleased with himself for doing that.

“This good for you?” Louis asked him, pumping Harry in his hand as smoothly as he could. Louis couldn’t help but wonder if this was how he reacted with all those other people he hooked up with. Was this the same for Harry or was it different with Louis? Louis didn’t do hook ups with people very often and he wanted to know if he was doing okay, almost like he wanted approval.

“Fuck, yeah,” Harry managed to let out, his voice practically coming out as a growl. “Don’t know if I’ll last long, though.”

There was something about seeing Harry coming apart and getting wrecked right before Louis’ eyes that did something to him. He felt like he could go again so he pushed his hips forward and let their dicks slide together.

“Fuck,” Harry moaned deeply when he realized what Louis was doing. His hands gripped Louis’ face and pulled him forward for a deep kiss, helping Louis rub their dicks together in an easy slide until Louis was hard again. It was all so much all at once, but still not enough. The only sounds that could be heard in the room was the two of them breathing and moaning against each other until one of Harry’s hands moved down to grip Louis’ bum. “I’m gonna come.”

Louis moved back slightly and put his hand back on Harry again, pumping once and then twice before hot streams of white pulsed out all over his hand and Harry’s stomach and Harry let out a throaty groan. Louis watched as he slowly came down from his high and then looked at him. “C’mere,” Harry said, extending one hand out. Louis moved back up close to Harry. Harry’s palm rested on the back of Louis’ neck and he pulled him close to kiss him. Louis’ body instinctively rubbed down on his thigh a few more times until he felt himself coming again, feeling flushed from head to toe.

Harry chuckled, unbelievably as he panted in Louis’ mouth, trying to get his breath back. “We’re all sticky,” Harry said.

“I know,” Louis whispered back, laughing with him.

“Hold on,” he said, getting up out of bed before walking out to the bathroom and then coming back with a damp flannel, wiping himself and then handing it to Louis. Once clean, he pulled up his covers, making sure Louis was comfortable before giving him one last kiss and curling up beside him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you all liked it. i'm working on getting a character page up. hopefully this week :)  
>   
> [tumblr](http://quitefinishedlarry.tumblr.com/) / [fic page](http://quitefinishedlarry.tumblr.com/yail) / [chapter post](http://quitefinishedlarry.tumblr.com/post/137111693120/fic-you-are-in-love-author-wildestdreams)


	12. the one where louis wears red but sees green

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always thanks to [mac](http://realitybetterthanfiction.tumblr.com/). and thank you to guys as well! please boost this fic up and i hope you like it :) and a few people have asked for a character page and i will do that asap!

Waking up the next morning, Louis knew before he opened his eyes or took in his surroundings that he wouldn’t be in his room. He knew he wouldn’t be on his bed sleeping and he definitely knew that there would be someone beside him. Louis didn’t forget last night. He remembered it crystal clear, but it was coming to terms with the fact that it happened in his sober, morning haze that was the problem. That was _always_ the problem. At night when you’re drunk or not completely conscious of what you’re doing, everything seems to be a good idea, but then you wake up, realize what you did and think well, _fuck_.

Sunlight peeked through Harry’s blinds on his bay window, waking Louis up while Harry was still softly snoring beside him. Louis looked at his soft features, eyelashes fanning over his cheeks and lips puffy with a light pink tint to them. His curls were unruly and covering most of his forehead as he slept over his arm, curled up. Louis closed his eyes and it was as though the few seconds of complete bliss one got after they woke up where absolutely nothing was on their mind were gone. It was gone _so soon._

That was when Louis’ mind went into overdrive and _utter_ panic.

A million different things were going through his mind as he played back everything that happened last night and instead of making him happy, it was filling his stomach with dread and anxiety.

Harry and Louis kissed. They didn’t just kiss, they hooked up and went beyond that. They were intimate and they saw each other naked, and it happened. Louis’d seen all the movies; he’d heard all the stories. It didn’t take a genius to figure out where this was going next. This was the part where everything got awkward and things turned to _shit_ , slowly leading to a fall out in the friendship. And Louis didn’t want that. He didn’t want to stop being friends with Harry or talking to him or being with him. He wanted to continue everything and perhaps grow stronger.

It was strange because that was what led to them kissing in the first place. One minute they were talking about how they were each other’s best friends and the next they were snogging. Given that they were _both_ drunk, Louis couldn’t help but wonder if he had come on too strong. So much so that Harry couldn’t say no. Had Louis been like all those people who threw themselves at Harry just for a one time hook up? Louis didn’t want Harry to think that of him because it didn’t mean just _that_ to him. Louis wouldn’t hook up with a friend, a good friend at that, just for one night to get rid of some pent up sexual frustration between them.

It wasn’t like Louis at all.

 _He_ knew that, but a big part of him just wondered if Harry did, too. From what Louis remembered, Harry seemed just as eager, but he could have been wrong for all he know. Maybe Harry got the wrong idea, but then again he did walk out of there and he chose to be with Louis instead of Ron. They weren’t piss drunk, but they were definitely drunk. Louis wondered if all of that would have even happened had they been sober. Probably not. They wouldn’t risk that. They also hadn’t done a lot last night. It felt like they were eager to just get off because they were so turned on that it didn’t take much to get there.

Louis had no idea what to do and the more he laid there, the more his mind went into overdrive and jumped to ten different conclusions. He didn’t want to sneak out of bed, though, and leave in the shadiest way possible. It wasn’t like he could avoid Harry after this. They were in the same friends group and they’d have to hang out eventually. In the end after much thought, Louis still got up, even if it was just to go pee.

He looked around the room, trying to find his pants and he spotted them exactly where he threw them before he’d jerked Harry off and touched his dick.

 _Fuck_.

He slipped them on and cringed at how filthy it felt before pulling on his jeans as well. Louis wandered over to the bathroom and peed before looking at himself in the mirror, wondering if he looked as bad as he felt. He looked the same except Harry had left a decent sized love bite on his collarbones and Louis pressed on it softly, inspecting the purple bruise.

Just then, the door flew open and Niall walked in completely startling Louis as he grabbed a shampoo from the shower. Louis was frozen in his spot because Niall hadn’t said anything in his bleary, hungover morning state yet. Louis wondered if Niall even noticed he was there. However, as Niall was leaving he did a double take and dropped the shampoo to the ground in surprise.

“ _Jesus_ ,” Niall muttered, looking at him from head to toe. His eyes widened and he almost looked amused. “You guys finally did it?”

“ _Niall_ ,” Louis groaned because that _would_ be all he had to say. This was so awkward.

“I’m sorry, but shit,” Niall replied, running a hand through his messy hair. “Wasn’t expecting you to still be here, to be honest. Harry doesn’t usually let the people he sleeps with stay the night.”

For some reason, that gave Louis a sort of relief in the whole grand scheme of things. Harry didn’t kick him out like he kicked out everyone else. He didn’t even make it seem like he wanted Louis to leave last night. It was almost like it was kind of expected that Louis’d go to bed with him and that would be that. They cuddled until they fell asleep, like it was so easy and they’d done it a million times before. So fucking strange.

But that still didn’t change anything and Louis was still panicking inside. All he wanted was to apparate like they did in Harry Potter just to get out of their flat and be in the safety of his own with El petting his hair and telling him that everything was going to be okay. Louis didn’t want to be here, standing half naked in the bathroom with Niall, while Harry slept in the other room. Louis would be expected to talk to him when he woke up even though he didn’t know what he would even say.

“What are you doing here?” Louis asked Niall, instead. He had a bathroom of his own in his room.

Niall pointed down at the shampoo he’d dropped and bent down to pick it up. “Harry’s shampoos are always the best. Figured he’d be passed out for a while so I could steal some before he noticed.”

Louis couldn’t help but laugh at that. It was true. Harry’s hair always smelled so nice and fresh and fruity. Louis sniffed whenever he hugged him, hoping Harry wouldn’t notice because that was a little weird. “I’m sure he’ll smell it off of you.”

“Probably,” Niall shrugged like he didn’t care. “What are you doing up so early if you two were busy last night?”

Louis blushed at the question and shrugged. “I had to pee.”

“Going to go back in?”

“Have to, don’t I?”

Niall smiled at Louis encouragingly and waved before walking out. Louis looked back at himself in the mirror again and freshened up, washing his face and brushing his teeth with his finger before walking back out to Harry’s room. This time Harry was awake and sitting up in bed, looking tired and puffy around the face. It was really cute even though Louis didn’t want to admit it.

Harry looked at Louis as he walked back in and smiled warmly, stirring something pleasant in Louis’ stomach. “Hey,” he said, voice rough from sleep. “Morning.”

“Morning,” Louis replied, almost shyly. He really had to compose himself, but he felt himself turning to butter, just standing there in front of Harry. Harry looked so at ease like he was fine, but Louis was turning into mush inside. A mush full of dread and anxiety.

“When did you get up?” he asked, stretching his arms out, his muscles clenching. Louis’ eyes slowly raked over his body and for a split second he let himself entertain the idea of getting back into bed and doing what they did last night.

Louis quickly squashed that thought and gulped before answering. “A while ago. Bumped into Niall accidentally in the bathroom. That was weird.”

“Couldn’t have been that much of an accident. He lives here,” Harry joked, leaning back against his headboard.

Louis chuckled nervously and nodded. “True. Should have thought of that and locked the door.”

Harry nodded, smile still on his face as he scratched the back of his neck and looked down at the bed awkwardly where their clothes were. Louis wanted to know what was going on in his mind, but he had no idea how to ask. He decided to just run before it got to that because he wasn’t sure if he was ready. Harry seemed to be in a good mood, though, which wasn’t bad at all. However, Louis needed to leave like ten minutes ago. This conversation could definitely wait.

“Um,” Louis cleared his throat. Harry looked up at his again. “I kind of told my mum I’d come back home for the remaining few days of hols. So, I kind of have to stop by my flat before I do.”

“Oh,” Harry said. “Yeah, sure. Do you, uh, need me to drop you off?”

“No,” Louis said much too quickly. “I think I’m going to walk.”

Harry frowned, halfway off the bed and on his knees. The covers had fallen off his body and he was just there. Sitting in his boxers and his body was so _fit._ Louis almost wanted to jump back in and touch him. Run his fingers over Harry’s soft skin and his tattoos. Kiss him really hard until he fell back and the few pieces of clothes they still had on were gone.

What the _fuck_ was Louis thinking?

“You sure?” Harry asked, snapping Louis out of his _filthy_ thoughts. “I don’t mind at all. I don’t really have anything planned till later on in the day.”

“I’m sure,” Louis told him, grabbing his shirt from the ground and putting it on. Harry watched him, almost shamelessly, get dressed and then got up off the bed when Louis started walking to the door. Niall was back in his room and Louis could hear him singing “Uptown Funk” in his shower. Harry opened the front door and leaned against it as Louis slipped on his shoes.

“So, I’ll see you around?” Harry asked him. “When school starts.”

“Yeah,” Louis smiled, unsure of what to do next.

Harry solved that for him by smiling and pulling him into a hug. Louis was relieved that _that_ didn’t change. Harry’s hugs were _always_ good and they gave Louis some peace in his mind knowing that this wasn’t all going to shit. Louis just had to keep acting like he wasn’t completely freaking out. He pulled away, giving Harry a smile and a wave before walking over to the elevator.

+++

El was on the couch, eating cereal, when Louis walked in. She looked up and comically widened her eyes. Her face broke out into a grin and she tipped her head to the side, giving Louis a knowing look.

“Look who’s home,” El quipped. “Had a good night?”

“ _Shut up_ ,” Louis groaned, walking into his room and grabbing the first set of clean clothes he could find.

After a nice, hot shower he felt a bit better and walked back out into the living room. El stared at him warily, looking well slept and hangover free, which surprised and annoyed Louis because he wished he was in her shoes.

“Why are you in such a bad mood?” El asked, breaking the silence.

“I’m not in a bad mood,” Louis replied even though she was sort of right in assuming. “I’m stressed is all.”

“Why are you stressed, Lou?” she asked casually, even though Louis knew she was dying to ask directly.

Louis knew El were acting stupid so he wouldn’t get mad at her. It was obvious from the moment he saw her face when he walked in that she knew exactly where he came from. If anything, Niall might have tipped her off, too, while Louis was doing the walk of shame from their flat to his.

“Something happened,” Louis said slowly, fiddling with the strings on his joggers. El waited patiently for Louis to continue, but he couldn’t even spit it out. “Harry and I left the rave together and _something_ happened.”

“Really?” El asked, trying her best to act surprised.

Louis shot her a look and she tried to muffle her laughter. “Yeah. We hooked up.”

“Like you made out?” she asked, trying to go for details now.

Louis nodded. “And more.”

“Like what else did you do?” El strangled out, trying so hard not to laugh out loud. It was so annoying because Louis was starting to smile, too. Here he had walked in so serious and ready to cry, but his best mate was making him laugh, like it was funny. It was _not_ funny. It was bad.

Louis shrugged, smiling despite myself. “We got each other off and stuff.”

El both burst out laughing, giggling into her hands and it was so immature, so her gave her an unamused smirk as she tried calming down.

“Alright, so what then?” El asked, fanning herself.

“We fell asleep,” Louis explained. “We were drunk and we had kissed outside and then just took a cab home. Then we did stuff. And then we fell asleep.”

“So why are you sulking?” she asked. “This is good. We all saw you two walk out and we had bets going on whether you two would pull your shit together and finally get together.”

“You did what?” Louis yelled. That’s so rude and intruding. What the fuck did they mean _finally get together_?

“Had bets amongst ourselves on whether or not you and Harry would hook up and I won,” El grinned. “But, yeah. _Why_ are you upset? Was he rude or something?”

“No,” he shook his head quickly. “ _God_ , no. He was amazing as always. He was nice when he woke up, really normal. It’s _me_ that’s panicking. I’m worried everything’s going to be ruined because of this.”

“What?” El asked, frowning. “Why would you think that? Why would everything be ruined?”

“El, we crossed a boundary in our friendship,” Louis explained. “What if he gets weird about it now? Like, what if he doesn’t want to be friends anymore?”

“What if he _does_ want to be friends?” El suggested. “Or more.”

“He doesn’t want _more_ ,” Louis replied. “He’s been getting laid left and right. You think he’s going to want to just give that up so soon? I doubt it. I probably threw myself at him last night and he couldn’t say no, so we did it and now I don’t know where we stand. I don’t want things to be awkward. I don’t want him to be weird with me. I want things to go back to normal.”

El stared at him, shell shocked, as he panted from talking so much, so fast. Louis gulped down a sob because he didn’t want to cry, but he felt close to it. He’d fucked _everything_ up.

“Louis,” El said slowly. “Do you have feelings for Harry?”

“What kind of feelings?” Louis asked her, almost harshly. He felt on edge and completely stupid. He figured if he came home then things would feel okay, but he felt even worse because now he wasn’t with Harry and he didn’t know when he’d see him again or what would happen.

“Do you like him?” she asked, clearly. “Like do you like him as more than a friend?”

“No,” Louis snapped. “Harry and I don’t have feelings for each other. We’re best mates and we did something stupid and I’m fucking afraid we’re going to lose that. It’s all going to shit now.”

“Louis, you don’t know that,” El said. “Harry isn’t the type of guy to do something like that.”

“How do you know for sure?” he asked. “He could be. He could be telling Niall right now about he doesn’t want to be friends with me anymore.”

“Yeah, but you didn’t tie Harry down and make him hook up with you, did you?” El asked sarcastically.

He shook his head. “No, I didn’t.”

“He kissed you first?”

 _I’m going to kiss you now_ , Harry had said, right before he did and Louis couldn’t think clearly anymore. “Yeah,” he replied back, the memory so fresh and so clear like he could still feel Harry’s lips on his even though it had been hours.

“Then it’s on him just as much as it is on you. Don’t worry about it, okay? Do you want to do something else?” El asked. “We could go out.”

Louis shook his head and smiled meekly. “I think I’m going back home. I’ll come back again in a week before classes start.”

“You sure?” she asked, looking concerned. “We could go shopping or to the cinema. And then I’ll make your favorite for dinner. Chicken with mashed potatoes and that gravy you like.”

“I can’t,” he replied, regretfully. “I told Mum I’d be home again. Plus, I think I need time to just get away to clear my head. I can’t be here, right now.”

El still looked reluctant, but agreed. Louis grabbed his bags and things before heading out to get a cab back home. The entire drive home he listened to all the sad songs he could remember about kissing in the rain.

+++

Another week at home and left with nothing but his own thoughts, Louis realized that maybe things weren’t as dramatic as he was making them out to be. It was okay that initially he’d panicked and reacted the way he did because who wouldn’t, but after thinking about it, he realized that it didn’t have to be that _bad_.

Yeah, so Harry and Louis hooked up. Friends hook up sometimes if they got drunk, which was what happened. It was even more expected because they were close and comfortable with each other enough to not question it when it was happening. It wasn’t as melodramatic as Louis was making it out to be. It wasn’t a smart decision, but it happened and it can’t be changed, and now it just had to be looked over.

That was the only reasonable option that came to mind when Louis thought about it. To just forget it ever happened and move on from the whole situation. Harry and Louis weren’t into each other romantically, _obviously_ , so there was no need for Louis to discuss anything unless Harry brought it up. Louis was going to be mum on his end until then and go on with his life like it never happened.

Since leaving his flat New Year's Day, Harry and Louis hadn’t necessarily _spoken._ They snapped each other a few times but other than that it was radio silence. Except for that one night when Harry randomly texted Louis an octopus emoji. Louis saw some snap stories from the boys and Harry and realized they were out drinking and he was probably drunk. So, Louis texted him back with a frog emoji and they went back and forth like that for a few hours. That was about it.

It wasn’t until after Louis went back to school that he actually saw Harry. He was walking out of class and heading over to the canteen to grab something to eat before going to the library to start working on some course work when he noticed Harry walking by as well. Louis slowed down and smiled, walking over. Harry looked up when he saw Louis approaching and grinned.

“Hey,” he said, turning to stop in front of Louis.

“Hi,” Louis replied, awkwardly waving. “Going to class?”

“I’m on my way,” Harry said, running a hand through his hair. It looked a bit damp like he’d just taken a shower and didn’t let it properly dry before coming out. Louis wondered how cold he was. “A bit early, though. I have some time. Where are you headed?”

“I was going to the canteen to get something to eat.”

“Oh, I’ll walk you that way, then. My building’s next to it.”

“Okay,” Louis smiled. They both started heading in the same direction and there was a lull in the conversation, just the pitter-patter of their feet over the snow on the ground. Louis decided it shouldn’t be like this if what they did was going to be forgotten, so he turned to look at him only to see Harry was turning to do the same.

They both laughed nervously, looking straight ahead again. Harry cleared his throat and ran his fingers through his hair again. “Did you have a good break at home?” he asked. “When you went back again?”

Louis nodded, enthusiastically. “Spent more time with my sisters. My mum’s re-doing our basement, so I helped with that a bit, too. I painted an entire wall!”

“Wow,” Harry said, eyes widening and looking much too thrilled about an accomplishment that really wasn’t that big of a deal, except he knew it was for Louis. “That’s amazing. Bet you did so well.”

“It was hands down the best wall painted,” Louis shrugged, trying to play it cool.

Harry laughed at that, shaking his head down at the ground as he shoved his hands in his pockets. It was quiet for a bit again and then Harry cleared his throat for the second time. “Are we not going to talk about it?”

Louis looked at him, eyes wide and surprised at the sudden topic change. He didn’t expect to be discussing this while at school and walking to the canteen. Harry seemed at ease, for the most part, still staring down at the ground even though he just threw Louis in a frenzy again. Why did he keep doing that?  

“Um,” Louis mumbled, voice soft and quiet. “I guess we could.”

“Alright,” Harry said. “We hooked up.”

“We did,” Louis agreed.

“What now?”

Louis pursed his lips and looked back at Harry. He was looking at Louis this time, his expression unreadable. Why was he asking Louis? Why couldn’t he just decide for himself or tell Louis what he’d been thinking the morning after? Why was Louis being put on the spot?

“Um,” Louis began ineloquently because since Harry did ask him, he had no choice. “I think we should forget it happened. I’ve thought about it and I think our friendship is more important than letting it get ruined by some one night thing, don’t you? Like, we don’t have to talk about it or anything. I think we should just forget it.”

Harry slowly nodded. “So, you want to forget it ever happened?”

“Yeah,” Louis said. “Don’t you?”

Harry didn’t say anything and soon enough they were in front of the canteen. Louis turned to face him, crossing his arms and looking at Harry, still waiting for an answer. Harry wasn’t getting away with this. If Louis was going to be questioned then so was he. Harry looked up at him and smiled softly. “If that’s what you want, then yeah, let’s forget it. I don’t want it to ruin our friendship, either.”

Louis smiled at him then, feeling completely relieved. It had been bothering him since the moment it happened and Harry confirming what Louis said just made things a lot lighter in his mind. This meant they were on the same page and they could go back to normal. This was exactly what he’d wanted. “Yeah, so we’re good, right?”

“Yeah, of course we are,” he grinned. “Come here. I’ve got to head to class, so give me a hug.”

Louis giggled, wrapping his arms around Harry’s neck and hugging him. Harry wrapped his arms around Louis’ back and held him tightly. When a whole minute had passed, Louis laughed, but didn’t let go. “You going to let me go soon?”

“Yeah, in another minute. I’m not done,” Harry murmured. Louis laughed again when he felt Harry press a kiss to his cheek. Once again, it felt like things were going to be just fine.

+++

It was Barbara’s birthday the same week everyone had gotten back to school. Niall decided to throw her a surprise party to make up with her for the fight they were having since he was missing her so much. And the rest of them, being the good friends that they were, decided to help out.

Niall, Zayn and Taylor headed over to the market to pick up food and booze. Liam and El set up a few decorations, which really consisted of a sloppy _Happy Birthday Barbara_ in cut out construction paper and some confetti thrown around with balloons, while Ed made a mix to play on the speakers connected to his laptop. Harry and Louis were put in charge of making a cake, but they ended up making a mess more than actually working. It was Harry’s fault for the most part. He thought he’d be cute and put some frosting on Louis’ face as though he was edible.

“You look pretty edible to me,” he shrugged, smirking as he went back to icing the cake.

Louis tried to pretend his heart didn’t do a little flip at that and cleaned the frosting off his nose and then wiping the counter down to clean up. He wondered if Harry’s lips tasted as sweet as the frosting and cake batter he kept sucking off of his fingers. Louis kind of wanted to try and check it out himself, but then he scowled and realized how stupid of an idea that was.

By the time they were done, it was time for all of them to get dressed for the party. When Louis stepped out in a red jumper, Harry looked up from his seat on the couch armrest and laughed. “We’re matching,” he said, pointing down to his red t-shirt.

“You copied me,” Louis teased, walking over to him and poking him hard on the chest.

Harry grabbed Louis’ finger and it seemed to be a _thing_ for them now. Louis hoped it never stopped being a thing because it always made him feel stupidly happy whenever they did it. Harry smiled, his eyes shamelessly checking Louis out one more time before turning his body around and sitting him down on his lap. “Great minds just think alike,” he replied. “You look good. I like red on you.”

Louis turned to look at him and hoped to God he wasn’t blushing because that would be _so_ counterproductive. “Thanks. You do, too,” he replied casually. “Is this new?”

He nodded. “Gemma got it for me.”

“You should wear red more often, too,” Louis mused, feeling _too_ comfortable on his lap.

Harry smirked. “Are you checking me out, Tommo?”

Louis laughed with him, shaking his head as Harry held him tighter so he wouldn’t fall off. Louis looked over Harry’s shoulder to see Zayn and Ed sitting on the couch, already dressed and browsing on their phones. They were both smirking and shaking their heads at each other and Louis felt a bit embarrassed.

He knew that everyone in their group knew Harry and he had hooked up. El had a big mouth. Niall walked in on Louis half dressed. And Harry must have told them just like Louis told El, so obviously the rest would eventually find out. What did they think of Harry and Louis? Were they surprised or did they think they were weird for hooking up and still being so comfortable with each other? Louis wouldn’t know unless one of them actually said something to him, which they haven’t. Except for Taylor, who only nodded along as Louis told her and didn’t have much to say. Louis had a feeling that was only because she knew from before because Ed probably told her and her initial reaction had passed.

Louis tried not to dwell on it and just shrugged off his thoughts again.

The party eventually started and guests were pouring in. When Niall walked in with Barbara and everyone yelled “ _surprise_ ,” she looked as much and kissed Niall in front of everyone. Guess the two of them made up. By midnight the flat was full of the boys from Theta Chi, a bunch of Barbara’s friends and a few people Louis’d never even met. For the most part, he nursed the same beer and stayed within the group that he did know.

Barbara was trashed, on the other hand, taking shot after shot and dancing to every song that was playing. It was good to see her enjoy herself, even though when it came time to cut the cake, she smushed most of it on everyone’s face. Harry and Louis visibly winced, watching their hard work go into someone’s face instead of their mouths. Harry simply looked at Louis and shrugged, solemnly. Louis understood.

The two of them hadn’t really interacted much during the party. Every time Louis looked over, Harry had some girl trying to talk to him. Most of them were Barbara’s mates and while they all seemed nice when Louis met them, he still couldn’t help but feel annoyed. Why were they talking to _him_ of all the guys from the party? Every boy here was attractive and fun and great to talk to, so why go to Harry? Louis couldn’t even tell if Harry was into them or not and for some reason, that meant a lot to Louis. It made some sort of difference and Louis wished he knew why.

A while later, Louis was sitting out in the balcony with a new drink while Ed and El chatted beside him. He would have been into the conversation, too, but another girl had just made herself comfortable on Harry’s lap.

Honestly, _who_ did that?

Louis knew _he_ did that just a few hours ago, but _only_ after Harry pulled Louis down. Harry didn’t even invite her over. She literally did it herself, like it was _okay_ , which it really wasn’t. It was so stupid and gross.

El might have been noticing because she casually slung her arm around Louis and he looked over. “You okay?” she asked, giving him a meaningful stare.

“Of course,” Louis lied. “I’m fine.”

She bought it for the time being and turned back to Ed. The two continued to talk and Louis continued to glare daggers at Harry and that girl. Harry had his hand on the small of her back and was actually looking interested at this point. It all made Louis feel so stupid.

He could continue to pretend that he was _forgetting_ everything that happened, but he wasn’t. His mind was suddenly filled with memories from the night they hooked up. Memories of Louis kissing Harry back and being so eager to go back home with him. Being so desperate to come undone from his hand and then literally _humping_ his thigh till he came for the second time. The fact that it took five days for the love bite Harry left on Louis to fade. Louis felt embarrassed about the fact that Harry saw him like that and it was just always going to be there no matter how many times Louis told himself to forget it.

 

+++

When Louis came home after dinner with Zayn and Taylor, he greeted El, who was studying in the living room with a smile. “Hey,” she said, looking up from her books. “How was dinner?”

“It was good,” Louis replied, toeing out of his shoes. “Zayn took us to this Indian restaurant and we had curry, some naan and rice. Really spicy, but I loved it.”

“That sounds great,” she replied. “Have to try it sometime.”

“You do. We’ll go one day together. I think you’d love it,” he insisted. “Anyways, what have you been up to? Revising?”

“Yeah. Revising for an exam tomorrow. Just got in an hour ago and had dinner at the canteen real quick,” she replied, chewing the end of her pencil before pointing it towards Louis’ room. “You have a visitor, by the way.”

Louis tipped his head to the side and looked at her with a confused expression. She shrugged with a smile and turned back to her books. He warily walked over to his room and wondered who it could be. He wasn’t expecting anyone and no one had called or texted to tell him they’d come over. When Louis walked in, a slow smile formed on his face when he found Harry lying on his bed and typing on his phone. He looked up when he saw Louis and grinned.

“Hiii,” he drawled out. “What took you so long?”

Louis laughed, walking in and dropping his bag and coat in front of the closet before walking over to Harry. “I had class and then went to dinner with Zayn and Taylor. I wasn’t expecting you.” Louis poked him on the stomach and Harry smiled, grabbing his finger and pulling him down towards him. Their eyes locked and it was magnetic how drawn Louis felt to him. Harry bit his lip, quirking an eyebrow, and Louis willed himself to push Harry off and step back, giggling.

“I came over because I got bored,” he explained, sitting up a little more to lean against Louis’ headboard. “Thought we could watch something and hang out.”

“Sure,” Louis nodded. “We could do that. Let me go change first.”

“I’ll be here,” Harry replied, picking up his phone again.

Louis put his books and coat away before grabbing his pyjamas. After freshening up and changing in the bathroom, he walked by El, who gave him a knowing look, which he tried to ignore. She’d noticed his sudden mood shift at Barbara’s party when he’d seen Harry talking to one of the girls. Harry and the girl ended up leaving the party together and it shouldn’t have felt as bad as it did. Louis was in a terrible mood for a few days, lashing out at anyone who bothered to talk to him. El picked up on it right away and even though they weren’t talking about it for whatever reason, Louis knew she knew.

Louis couldn’t do anything about it, though, and as much as it was obvious, he still felt it was _silly_. Everything about this situation and how he was acting was ridiculous. He was contradicting himself and being a complete tit to everyone for no reason. Harry could do whatever and _whoever_ he pleased. _Louis_ asked him to forget it, so he should, too. Forget the fact that he couldn’t stop thinking about it, more like. It was all he thought about most of the time and it was frustrating how much it was affecting him. More than he’d like to admit.

“Alright,” Louis said, stepping back into his room. “I’ve changed and I’m ready to chill. What are we watching?”

“Next season of _How I Met Your Mother_ ,” Harry decided, putting his phone down and pulling Louis’ covers up to get comfortable.

“Yay, I’ve been waiting,” Louis said, giddy as he settled down beside him. They situated themselves with the laptop in between them and started the episode. It was great, just like it used to be before the incident. Louis was partly relieved because this was what he was worried about. He didn’t want things to change. The two of them were laughing and talking while watching each episode as they always did. It felt so easy that Louis couldn’t help but look over at Harry in the middle of an episode, drawn towards him, always.

For a moment, he was just studying his profile. Harry had a _lovely_ profile, which did his whole face a lot of justice. Sharp, chiseled jaw surrounded by soft features. It wasn’t hard to admit that Louis found him attractive. Harry was _gorgeous_. There wasn’t anything about him that was unappealing and anyone who said different was a complete liar. He had sparkly green eyes and the cutest dimples Louis’d ever seen. At that moment, though, what struck him the most were Harry’s lips and how he couldn’t tear his eyes from them.

Louis was filled with memories from the night they kissed and _how much_ they’d kissed. The fact that they couldn’t stop and were so hungry for it was making Louis feel flushed from head to toe as it did most nights when he allowed himself to let his mind drift there. He had felt something right about it from the beginning and it really shouldn’t be like that. It shouldn’t feel so easy. Since Barbara’s party, he’d been thinking that _what if_ Harry were to kiss Louis again? The idea of it had been stuck in his head and he hadn’t stopped thinking about him since they kissed.

Harry turned and caught Louis’ eye, looking confused as he warily smiled. “You okay?” he asked.

Louis nodded his head, trying to muster up a smile. “Fine, sorry. Just zoned out.”

He smiled at Louis again, turning back to the laptop screen to continue watching.

+++

Louis, Zayn and Ed had been meaning to go skateboarding together for a while. With their busy schedules, they hadn’t managed to find time, until one day they just grabbed their respective boards and headed over to the nearest skate park. It was hours of trying to master some tricks and then just boarding in a straight line until they got tired and took out the spliff Zayn managed for them.

For a while, they just sat in silence, occasionally talking about one thing or another while passing the joint back and forth between them. When it was nearly finished, Zayn cleared his throat and rubbed his stomach.

“I’m hungry,” he commented.

“Harry’s making dinner tonight,” Ed told him.

“Oh, right,” Zayn said, remembering and then laughing. “I saw him with that Montgomery girl the other day outside of his class. He looked like he was chatting her up so well. She was twirling her hair and blushing. It was _too_ funny.”

Louis kept a straight face and tried not to dwell on it so hard. He continuously had to remind himself that it was fine and it wasn’t supposed to be a shock _every time_. Harry did this and they weren’t tied down to each other in any way possible because Louis’d told him they should forget it, so that was what he was doing. It didn’t mean that every time Louis saw or heard something like this it didn’t leave a disgusting feeling in his stomach.

Louis probably wasn’t doing a great job at keeping his face neutral because Zayn looked over at him and winced. “Sorry, Lou,” he said. “I didn’t mean to say that in front of you. I wasn’t thinking.”

He shrugged. “Why? It’s fine.”

“You sure?” Zayn asked, looking cautious. “I know you two hooked up and I don’t know where you stand, really. I thought it was okay for a split second, but now I’m not so sure?”

“It is,” Louis said, feeling embarrassed and put on the spot. “Harry and I are over it. Wasn’t anything, really. Plus, I know he hooks up with other people, Z. It’s not exactly a big secret.”

Zayn smiled at him, but still looked rather apologetic and doubtful. “If you say so.”

“He told you guys we hooked up?” Louis asked, not being able to help himself.

Now that they were on the topic and the boys mentioned it themselves, Louis could finally ask and see what Harry’s thoughts were and what he’d _really_ said to his friends. Just like the kiss and Harry himself, Louis couldn’t get this out of his head since it all happened. He needed to know what Harry said and thought even though Louis constantly reminded himself that it didn’t matter since they were ‘over it’.

Zayn shrugged in response, but had a sly look on his face. “Not much, don’t worry. Just said that you guys left the rave together and you didn’t plan on hooking up, but you ended up kissing and one thing led to another.”

“Oh,” Louis hummed, schooling his expression as best as possible. “Yeah, sounds about right. That’s all he said?”

Ed smirked at him, looking over. “You seem awfully interested, Lou,” he teased.

“Shut up,” Louis argued, trying to fight the smile that was threatening to form on his lips. “I’m only asking.”

“Right,” Ed agreed sarcastically.

“Well, if you must know,” Zayn tacked on, making Louis turn back to him. “He said it was really good and he had a lot of fun. What word did he use to describe it again, Ed?”

“Sexy, I think,” Ed shrugged, grinning. “Mind blowing, too.”

Louis was frozen on the spot, trying so hard to breathe, but failing. He licked his lips and tried to appear as casual as possible even though his stomach was flip-flopping and he felt like grinning till his cheeks tore apart. It was odd and a bit familiar in a nostalgic sort of way. He couldn’t think of the last time anyone had made him feel this way, whatever _this_ was. The fact that it was Harry was a thing on its own. From all the things Louis’d imagined Harry telling his friends about them that was the last thing he expected, even though it was genuinely what Louis truthfully wanted to hear.

Harry wasn’t wrong, either. It was good and fun and _mind blowing_ when Louis thought about it. They weren’t serious during the whole thing. They were laughing and talking during the whole exchange. A really annoying part of him wanted to know more, wanted to have him call Louis sexy and do it all over again.

“That’s all he said, though,” Zayn continued. “He didn’t add much after that.”

“Probably felt there wasn’t much to add on,” Louis said coolly.

Zayn raised his eyebrows in response, finishing up the joint and throwing it on the ground. “Anyone want to go for some burgers? I was so serious when I said I was hungry. Can’t wait till Harry makes dinner.”

Ed and Louis nodded. “Sure,” they both replied, getting up and walking out of the park with their boards in hand.

 

+++

Truth or dare was one game that never got old. When Zayn suggested they all play it at the first Theta Chi party of the year, everyone agreed and they all stood around a circle with their drinks in hand. So far, it had been a bit _wild_. Everyone was either tipsy or completely inebriated, so the truths came out a lot easier and the dares became outrageous.

Someone dared Liam to take a nude and send it to one of his professors. Louis was praying for him, really, while they all watched him snap a picture in his pants and email it. Zayn was asked to give someone a truth, so he asked a guy if he ever cheated on a significant other, which he did, and his girlfriend broke up with him in front of all of them. Harry hadn’t stopped calling Zayn a home wrecker with wide, unforgiving eyes since then. And then someone dared Ed to streak around campus and he did. The curtains _definitely_ matched the drapes.

When it got to El, Harry straightened up beside Louis and grinned at her. “Truth or dare, El,” Harry asked, crossing his arms.

Louis giggled, leaning into Harry’s side. The two of them had found a small table in a corner of the room, which Louis hopped up on while Harry leaned back against it beside him. Louis’d been playing with the fedora Harry was wearing tonight, finding it so attractive and hot on him. Louis had a few drinks since he arrived, making him a lot braver than usual, which was why Louis thought it’d be okay to run his fingers through Harry’s curls. Harry responded by leaning into the touch and humming with a pleased tone, making something hot curl up in Louis’ stomach.

It was ridiculous how much he wanted him, lately.

“Dare,” El replied with a leveled look.

“Alright,” Harry said, slipping his arm around Louis’ waist. It was distracting. Louis wondered if it was distracting for Harry, too, because he could feel Harry’s fingers brushing at skin on his waist under the shirt Louis was wearing. “I dare you to kiss Katie Langdon.”

They all widened their eyes, watching as El sought Katie out. They’d only met Katie, like, once at these parties and she seemed nice enough. The two girls laughed a bit nervously before approaching each other. The kiss was chaste and dry and El pulled away rather quickly, but she looked flushed, her face pink as ever. It was strange because El didn’t seem nervous or scared when she’d went in for it. Wonder why she got embarrassed afterward?

Louis turned to look back at Harry who was watching. “That was pretty funny,” he said to him, putting his hand on Harry’s shoulder so that he’d turn.

“Yeah,” he said, smiling at Louis. They were the same height since Louis was sat up on the table and his breath was suddenly taken away by how green and lovely Harry’s eyes were from this angle. What was Louis thinking? Harry was beautiful from every angle. Louis’d realized he was staring when Harry’s eyes dropped down to Louis’ lips before looking back up at him again. “Didn’t think she’d go for it.”

“Same,” Louis replied, trying not to look too distracted by how good Harry looked.

They both turned back to the game, but Harry’s hand stayed attached to Louis’ hip, still thumbing at his waist. Louis couldn’t help but think about how possessive it almost felt, but then he shook it off because _why_ would Harry be possessive of him? Louis’ mind had been coming up with the weirdest stuff lately. He wished it would stop, but he kind of liked it at the same time.

After that, the game started getting a bit boring and everyone was walking off and dispersing. Louis turned to Harry and pouted. “I never got to play,” he said.

“Aww,” Harry cooed, with a huge grin. “Want to play? Just the two of us.”

Louis narrowed his eyes at him. “Depends. What are your intentions?”

“My intentions?” Harry asked. Louis nodded his head, watching as Harry moved so he was closer to Louis. “They’re innocent, of course. What kind of boy do you think I am?”

“I know _exactly_ what kind of boy you are, Styles,” Louis couldn’t help but smile.

Harry smiled, moving his hands so that they were holding onto both sides of Louis’ waist. “Truth or dare, Louis?”

Louis mulled over it for a few seconds before deciding, “Truth.”

“What would you do if I kissed you right now?”

Louis stared at Harry, lips parted and shell shocked at his question. Harry continued to look at him, his gaze unwavering. Louis felt Harry’s thumbs press into his skin hard enough to bruise and he shivered under his touch. He knew Harry was just flirting. He was _always_ flirting and it made Louis feel good. It seemed that since they hooked up, Harry got flirtier and Louis just got hornier. Harry had a way with words and it was charming and so annoying all at once. He was always so smug and show offy about it. Louis fucking loved it.  

Instead of answering, Louis copped out, scoffing because his heart was beating so hard, he didn’t know if he could take it. “Get a little more original.”

“That wasn’t original enough for you?” he laughed. “I’m just wondering, it’s why I asked.”

“Yeah, you’re only thinking with your dick,” Louis waved off. “It’s why you asked.”

Harry looked at Louis sternly. “Are you thinking about my dick _again_?”

Louis groaned, wondering if he’d ever hear the end of that joke. It almost seemed unlikely. It was Harry’s favorite running gag. Every time Louis said anything about something being big or mentioned a dick, Harry’d ask if he was thinking about his, which most times he was. But Harry didn’t have to know that.

“That joke is so old and boring,” Louis said, shoving at his chest playfully, his fists clenching Harry’s thin shirt.

“It is always relevant and funny,” Harry argued with a laugh, moving forward even though Louis was pushing him away. “Because you know it’s true. You’re always thinking about it. What am I going to do with you?”

“Fuck you,” Louis grumbled, even though there was a smile on his face.

Harry smirked, catching Louis’ hand in his, entwining their fingers. “Yeah, I suppose we could do that. How hard, though? Just so I know.”

It was honestly such a corny line, Louis was so shocked he even said it because it was _cheesy_ , but it still sent the butterflies in his stomach into a frenzy. Louis was blushing and he knew Harry knew. Harry’s hand moved up to press into the dimples on Louis’ back at the bottom of his spine. He grinned at him and Louis smiled back, shyly.

“Let’s get a drink,” Harry suggested. “I’ll make you something real good.”

“Okay,” Louis replied, even though he knew that would only make them flirt harder and get more reckless with each other. For that very same reason, Louis didn’t bother trying to stop him. He followed Harry towards the kitchen.

  

+++

When El and Louis went home, he’d noticed on the way that she seemed a bit quiet and resigned. Once home, Louis toed off his Vans and looked over at El, who walked to the kitchen for a glass of water like a zombie. What was up with her?

“El,” Louis said, slowly.

“Hm?” she asked.

“You okay?”

“I’m fine,” she mumbled. “Why?”

“You don’t look too good.”

She looked back up at Louis and blinked slowly. They were still so drunk, but also tired and ready to crash on the floor if need be. “Remember when I kissed Katie Langdon?”

“Yeah,” Louis said, warily.

“I liked it.”

Louis laughed nervously, sitting down on the couch and widening his eyes for a second. “Really? Like that Katy Perry song?”

“It’s not a joke,” she said, walking out of the kitchen to Louis. “I felt something. It was weird. I don’t even know Katie.”

“So, like, what are you saying?” Louis asked her. “That you like girls?”

“I don’t fucking know,” El groaned, throwing her hands up and walking to her room. Louis stared down at their floor, so confused by this whole exchange. He felt like he was living with an angsty teenager who wanted to experiment with the same sex and wanted to be difficult about it as though Louis was telling her she couldn’t do that.

He was bloody gay, too, after all.

Oh, well, El would come to him when she was ready. Until then, he had to get some sleep and jerk off while secretly thinking about Harry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next update will be sunday unless something huge comes up. i'll update if anything on sunday! :)  
>   
> [tumblr](http://quitefinishedlarry.tumblr.com/) / [fic page](http://quitefinishedlarry.tumblr.com/yail) / [chapter post](http://quitefinishedlarry.tumblr.com/post/137304860680/fic-you-are-in-love-author-wildestdreams)


	13. the one with the sex music

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> u guys! i am so sorry for the delay but i'm currently on vacation for my cousin's wedding and i'm 11 hours ahead of everyone on the east coast which makes updating super hard. plus i'm so busy all the time and the internet connection sucks out here. i hope yall aint that mad hahah.  
>   
> things heat up in this chapter. the sexual tension is at its highest and louis/harry get a second chance at truth or dare. there's also this long text conversation that i got a lot of inspiration from text convos i saw on tumblr. for some _annoying_ reason i can't find those pics to credit. if you all find it, please lmk and i will credit! thanks to [mac](http://realitybetterthanfiction.tumblr.com/) for editing. :)  
>   
>  ps! a lot of ppl asked for a character page and you can find it on the main page for the fic which is linked below in the end notes! and also, if you guys want to request any drabbles or do character asks, you're more than welcome to!

The weather got particularly awful around mid January. There was too much snow and ice rain, making it difficult to get out of bed, let alone go to class and be an active individual in society. Louis was stupid enough to forget his mittens and hat one day at home when going to class and by the end of the day he was bedridden. So much so, that he had to ask for El’s help in fetching him meals, more tissues and meds. Louis felt bad for making her his personal nurse, despite her saying that she was happy to help because she was concerned about him.

On top of that, Louis’d missed so many of his classes that by the weekend when he was well enough to walk and do things on his own, he had to sit at home and do course work while everyone went to the latest party. So, that was that.

It was so weird being home alone on a Saturday night because he was so used to seeing everyone. Being left alone with nothing but his books while everyone was getting drunk and dancing was boring and depressing to say the least. He tried to liven it up in the flat by playing music and watching a movie while doing his work, but every once in awhile he’d stop and scroll through Instagram and see what everyone else was up to.

It looked fun from what he gathered. Zayn was taking a lot of shots. Barbara and Niall were making out in the corner of a room rather heatedly. And El was on top of a table dancing with Taylor. All in all, it was a typical weekend party and Louis was going to be bitter about missing it no matter what the situation was. It just sucked and he was mentally cursing the weather and his forgetfulness.

It occurred to him that there weren’t any updates from Harry since he hadn’t tweeted anything or put up a picture, but Louis did wonder what he was doing. Whether or not he was talking to someone. Chances were high that he was, but Louis had no room to talk. El had promised to be on lookout and let him know whether or not Harry was doing anything with anyone, but Louis’d adamantly told her not to because he was still pretending like it didn’t bother him. Besides, even if Harry did sneak off with someone, she’d be busy enjoying and doing her own thing.

Generally speaking, it would be really off putting if Harry were to hook up with someone because things had been weirdly flirty between him and Louis. Like, _extra_ flirty and Louis had no idea how to take or handle it, other than flirting back. And it was hard to stop with Harry once Louis got started because Harry had a way with words and he was always so enthusiastic and eager about everything, that it just became addictive. Simple touches or brushes against skin felt like the most intimate ordeal. Words that they’d usually pass on to each other when they were joking suddenly became larger than what they used to be.

Suddenly, as if Harry could read Louis’ mind and knew he was thinking about him, Louis’ phone started to ring with Harry’s picture flashing on the screen. Louis bit his lip hard in excitement, quickly putting his movie on mute before answering.

“Hi,” he said, his voice seeming loud in his quiet room as opposed to the loud bass Louis could hear from the other end.

“Louuuuuu,” Harry slurred out.

Louis giggled, looking down at his lap and playing with the fabric of his pants. “Yes, Harry. How are you? Had anything to drink?”

“A few things, yes,” he laughed. “But that’s not why I called.”

“Why did you call then?” Louis asked, smile wide and giddy because he got to hear Harry’s voice. Since he’d been sick, he hadn’t seen much of Harry except for that one night he came by to drop off soup, but Louis was sleeping and Harry hadn’t wanted to wake him.

“I called because…” Harry paused, letting the moment go on for too long. Louis almost thought he was done with the conversation and distracted by whatever, but he could still hear him breathing. And then when Harry spoke, it was a lot more somber and less slurred. “I called, I guess, because I miss you. Why aren’t you here again?”

Louis let out a breathy laugh, a bit taken aback by his blunt and honest reasoning. “I have work to do. Catching up on coursework since I was feeling poorly this past week. Remember?”

“Oh, right,” Harry mused. “I still miss you, though. It’s no fun without you here.”

“Well,” he started, wondering if what he was going to say next would be too obvious or not. “Why don’t you hang out with someone cute?”

“You’re a cute someone and I want to hang out with you,” Harry said, without hesitation. “But you’re not here. And everyone’s just--it doesn’t matter. Can’t you come? Like, fuck school, you know. Fuck it.”

“I’m afraid not. I’m sorry,” Louis said, sadly.

“It’s okay,” he sighed, sadly. “Let me see you tomorrow. Can I see you tomorrow?”

“You can most definitely see me tomorrow,” Louis smiled.

“Alright,” Harry said happily. “I’m going to go now. See if I can get Ed to make me another drink. Bye, Lou.”

“Bye,” Louis said before hanging up.

He smiled down at the phone for a while after, just thinking about how nice it was that Harry noticed when he wasn’t around. That instead of hooking up with other people, he wanted to be with Louis, and he thought to call up and see if he could come around. The smile on Louis’ face didn’t disappear for the rest of the night and he was much more content.  

+++

True to his word, Harry showed up the next day and he _wasn’t_ alone. Everyone else decided to come along, too. Louis was happy that he finished all his coursework the day before because by evening, their flat was filled with all their friends and they were blasting the Drake mixtape, thanks to Zayn, and beers were being passed around one after another. Everyone was sitting around in the living room, some of them on the floor while others occupied the couches. Louis was sat between Harry and Barbara on the floor with a few cushions to lean on, but as time went on, she kept inching closer and closer to Niall until she was basically sitting on his lap, while he whispered sweet nothings into her ear.

It was still strange seeing them together like this.

The weird part was that even though they all knew it was coming, it still caught them by surprise, at least for Louis because he’d seen Niall and Barbara dance circles around each other for weeks on end. It wasn’t until Niall threw her the surprise party that they really started taking their _relationship_ up a notch. It seemed Niall finally realized that he had genuine feelings for the girl and wanted to be with her in every sense other than just the physical one. It also seemed that they weren’t trying to hide it from anyone else given the fact that they were making out and practically dry humping each other right in front of everyone. They were in love and they couldn’t hide it any longer, so, it was pretty _wild_.

Harry scoffed as he looked over at them, partially disgusting and partially fond. “Do you two ever give it a rest?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

The others snickered and the newfound love birds looked up with not so amused expressions. “It’s not like you guys aren’t ever getting it in. You’re all just jealous that I’m getting it on the reg,” Niall admonished.

Ed raised up his hand lazily. “I get it on the reg,” he offered to which Taylor widened her eyes and looked at everyone, her face bright pink.

“I’ve been getting it on the reg, too, with that girl from Phi Sig Delta,” Liam piped up. “But, she’s been flirting with Andy for ages so we might stop.”

“You talking about Natalie Murphy?” Zayn asked, turning to give him a look.

Liam nodded and Zayn started to fall over from laughing, his beer almost spilling from his bottle.

“I’ve slept with her before,” he wheezed out and then Liam started laughing. Louis frowned at the two, wondering what it was that they found so funny. It sounded gross, to be honest. He couldn’t imagine sleeping with the same guy that any of his friends hooked up with before. That’s just not done.

El was on the same boat as him and raised her eyebrow, questioningly. “Why is that funny?” she asked when Niall, Harry and Ed started snickering, too.

“It’s funny because Liam and I always end up sleeping with the same girls,” Zayn said, trying to keep calm. “It has happened so many times without us knowing and it’s weird. We don’t even plan it.”

“Sounds horrible, actually,” El shrugged, giving them a disapproving look.

“It does,” Niall agreed. “Anyways, you can sleep with these girls all you want, but you’re not actually _with_ them.”

“So, does that mean you’re finally together? Like officially?” Louis asked him, causing everyone to stop talking and turn to the pair in question.

Barbara started to blush and Niall almost looked bashful. The two of them turned to look at each other and had this silent conversation with their eyes, which, what the fuck? Be any cuter, _God_. They then turned to look back at the rest of them and smiled. “We are actually,” Niall nodded. “I asked her to be my girlfriend a few days ago.”

“He took me on the cutest date and I said yes,” Barbara smiled, unable to tear her eyes away from Niall’s. He smiled at her before leaning forward and kissing her so sweetly that Louis wanted to pull his insides out and cry.

They were his _otp_.

Everyone cooed and awed, smiling at them as if they were watching them kiss after saying their vows. Harry was grinning beside Louis, his thigh pressed close against his just how Louis liked it. Harry had his legs crossed and held his cold beer between his thighs, thumb rubbing over the tip. Louis literally could not tear his eyes off Harry’s hands and it seemed to be a problem. His mind kept drifting to the amazing things he could do with his fingers and this was hardly the environment Louis wanted to be in when getting horny at the thought of Harry Styles doing things to him.

“I’m happy for you guys, but the sex is driving me crazy,” Harry said then. Naturally, the only word Louis heard was sex and his eyes were trained on Harry’s cherry, red lips. “I know way too much about Niall’s sex life than I ever wanted to.”

He did it again. _Sex_.

“You have slept with so many randoms in our flat and I have never complained,” Niall argued.

“Yeah, but that’s at night when I know you’re sleeping and at the other end of the flat. I don’t do it at all hours of the day when you’re doing something as simple as walking into the flat or eating cereal in the morning or taking a piss.”

“Once again,” Niall said, pointedly. “You’re just jealous.”

“Have you ever considered music?” Harry suggested, ignoring his jab like it hardly bothered him.

“Music during sex?” El laughed, looking at Harry. “You one of those guys, H?”

Harry smiled, shaking his head. And great, now Louis was thinking about Harry’s fingers, his sinful lips and sex music. Just fucking great. His imagination was running wild and he had no idea how to stop it now that it had started, much like most things with Harry. “I’ve never done it, but I wouldn’t be opposed.”

“It’s a bit distracting, isn’t it?” Liam asked.

“Why would you be distracted by music while you’re getting it on?” Zayn asked him. “It’s supposed to set the mood.”

“What if it’s fun music, though?” Liam asked. “Something that you’d dance to?”

“You’re not supposed to listen to fucking Ke$ha or something when you’re having sex, Liam,” Zayn said, massaging his temple like Liam was aggravating him to the point of a headache. “You’re supposed to put sexy songs on while having sex. No one is going to be able to fuck to Tick Tock.”

Liam thought for a long moment before shrugging and giving up because the concept was still lost on him. Ed laughed at him, giving Liam an encouraging squeeze on the shoulder from behind where he was leaning against the couch. “We use music when we’re getting it on,” Ed informed the rest of them.

Taylor, once again, looked surprised and taken aback. Probably because her boyfriend was exposing more and more details about their sex life than she was willing to offer up.

“What kind of songs do you have on your sex mix?” Harry asked Ed, his body leaning in a little closer to Louis. Harry always did this _thing_ where he liked to touch Louis in a way to let him know he was still there and thinking of him. As if Harry wasn’t already ruining Louis’ mind by filling it with thoughts of him and sex and music.

“Mostly, like, Justin Timberlake and Rihanna,” Ed answered.

“And Taylor is into it?” Liam asked, looking at her.

Taylor shrugged then because now that it was out, she didn’t see a point in trying to hide anything else. “It doesn’t bother me. He’ll usually play those songs in his car or his room when we’re studying, too, so I really don’t have a choice but to listen. I enjoy it, too.”

“You fuck to the same songs you listen to on a daily basis?” Niall asked, laughing. “Isn’t that, like, a big no? It should be special songs?”

“Yeah, but I’m not going to be choosing all my favorite songs to have sex to. I choose the ones that fit the mood,” Ed said.

“That’s true,” El said. “Like, what if you have sex with someone to your favorite band or your favorite songs and then one day you break up and you’re not together anymore. So, then you’re stuck with that memory to that song or band that you really liked. And now you can’t listen to it without thinking about that person, anymore. You basically fuck it up.”

“That’s so true,” Barbara agreed. “You can’t have your favorite bands or artists playing when you’re hooking up with someone because you never know what might happen. You have to be careful with what memory you attach a song with.”

El nodded with fervency. “When I was in sixth form, I had a huge crush on this guy named Oliver, and I went out with him a few times and dedicated Demi Lovato’s _Don’t Forget_ album to him, but then he cheated on me. And now I can’t listen to it without thinking about Oliver and I hate it because that album is a masterpiece, you know?”

Everyone started to laugh at that, making El pout because she was actually serious. Zayn sipped his beer then before saying, “I’m going to agree because I would never hook up with someone while listening to Drake. No way in hell am I tarnishing my favorite artists for myself.”

They all started nodding, spouting off their favorite artists, who they wouldn’t hook up with anyone while listening to. Louis watched in amusement, ready to tell them that he’d never hook up with anyone to The Fray or The Script, mostly because their music was not sex music, when Harry turned his head and moved it right against his ear. His lips were cold and a bit wet from his beer, so, Louis instinctively curved into him, feeling shivers run down his spine.

“I’d make out to Kings of Leon with you,” he whispered before turning back to everyone and drinking his beer, so nonchalantly, as if he didn’t just make Louis freeze in his spot, completely paralyzed.

Kings of Leon was one of Harry’s favorite bands and Louis’ head felt light, just imaging what that would be like because their music had a way of being so sensual and hot. It was slow, yet so aggressive and sincere, just how Harry was when he kissed him. It almost made Louis want to climb on top of him and make Harry’s words come true.

On top of that, Louis didn’t even want to think of what it meant that Harry’d make out with him to his favorite band.

+++

They’d somehow wandered over to Hyde Park after feeling stuffy and bored at home. The beers were all finished and they were all sufficiently drunk for absolutely no reason, ready to do something random and stupid. It was Zayn’s idea to go since he wanted a smoke and they had all agreed. Fresh air sounded good, so, everyone grabbed their coats and walked over to the park, despite it being dark and cold outside.

And just like every other time they were drunk, Harry and Louis were magnetically drawn to each other, giggling and flirting the entire way. Harry’s hand was wrapped around Louis’ waist and he was adamant about keeping it there the entire walk over. At times Louis wondered how blatantly obvious yet stubborn they were both being because this didn’t feel like platonic behavior. Not with the way Louis wanted Harry to mean every flirty thing he said to him or the way he wanted Harry’s hand to keep inching closer and closer to his bum.

“Aren’t you cold?” Louis asked him, eyeing his black, leather jacket. It was unzipped and his thin, white t-shirt was barely covering his tattoos, let alone him. He still looked warmer than a freshly lit chimney and Louis wanted to cuddle up to him all the time.

Harry shook his head, wrapping his other hand around Louis so he was caged in. “I’m fine,” he said. “You can keep me warm, right?”

Louis smiled at him, feeling a blush rise to his cheeks. He knew Harry meant that he wanted Louis to be close to him, too. To touch him so that his body warmed his and just the thought of touching Harry set off a flurry of sparks inside of him. To distract himself from making a complete fool of himself, he watched his friends. Louis could see Zayn on his skateboard, showing Ed and Liam some trick a few feet away, while El, Barbara, Taylor and Niall were by the swings.

Harry made a soft noise, trying to pry Louis’ attention back to him. Louis turned back to him, blue and green eyes locking instantly and intensely. “C’mere,” Harry said, smiling and pulling Louis into a hug. Louis went easily, of course he did, letting himself sink into the hug. Harry was warm and soft and Louis wanted Harry to hold him for as long as possible because it just felt that _good_.

It seemed Harry was on board with that because he held on to Louis just as tight, unwilling to let go as he slowly swayed their bodies from side to side. It felt right and so, so good, Louis almost didn’t realize that time was ticking by and they were standing there, still hugging. Louis gave him a squeeze before giggling, “Harry.”

“Your hugs always feel so good,” Harry mumbled deeply, holding on a bit more while nuzzling his face in Louis’ neck. “And you always smell so good.”

Louis preened under his compliments, tucking his face against Harry’s chest and inhaling his signature smell. After a moment or so, they reluctantly let go, only to smile and step back away from each other. Louis let his hands hang uselessly at his sides while staring at Harry, who was just as intent on looking back.

“Okay,” Harry said, quickly rushing forward towards Louis again. “One more.”

Louis didn’t give himself a second to think it over, instead moving in and hugging Harry again. The two of them laughed as they continued to hold each other and just stayed like that, content and happy in their own world. It wasn’t until they noticed Niall staring at them from the swings a few feet away that they became aware of the fact that everyone was still there in plain sight. Niall looked rather confused and a bit smug.

“Are you two sure you’re not dating?” he asked, smirking.

Harry and Louis scoffed at the same time, more amused than anything as they reluctantly let go of each other again. It was unfortunate and Louis wanted to hug Harry forever. Instead, he looked at Niall and rolled his eyes. “We’re not dating, Niall.”

Louis casually avoided looking over at Harry, afraid he might literally fall back into Harry’s arms and instead opted to run over to the swings and steal the last one.

 

+++

“Oh, hi, Harry,” Louis heard El say from the front door. His ears perked up in interest at the sound of Harry’s name and he sat up on his bed, his books and notes completely forgotten.

“Hey, Eleanor,” Harry said, greeting her with her full name. “Mind if I hang here for a while? I’ve got nowhere else to go.”

Louis heard El laugh before saying, “Of course, that’s fine. Come on in.”

Louis grinned excitedly and scrambled out of his bedroom before schooling his expression to something much more calm and strolling into the living room where Harry and El were about to sit down. Harry had his school books with him and glanced up at Louis when he walked in. “Oh, hey,” Harry smiled before sitting down on the couch.

“Hi,” Louis replied walking over and sitting next to him. “What brings you here?”

“Well, Niall and Barbara are at it again at the flat,” he explained, his eyes widening as though they had seen things that he was never going to be able to forget. “I couldn’t concentrate on anything with all the sex going on and I have so much revision to do, so then I tried going over next door the boys’, but Zayn is in class, Ed is hanging out with Taylor, and Liam is at the frat house. So, their flat was locked up and I had no way of getting in. Figured this was the next best option.”

“That sucks,” El said from her spot on the floor where she was sitting with all her books out and open on the coffee table. “Well, you can work here. It’s what Lou and I were doing, anyway. Or attempting to, at least.”

“A lot on your mind, Eleanor?” Harry asked, raising an eyebrow at her.

She shrugged, noncommittally. It didn’t take a genius to figure out how much of a slump El had been in lately. Ever since she kissed that Katie girl, she was always deep in thought and Louis wondered just how much she was affected by it. There had to be something she wasn’t openly telling him, like underlying feelings for girls and not something that she felt in the moment. Even if it was a girl and she liked the kiss, it shouldn’t be causing her to be so stressed about it. Kisses were nice whether it was from a boy or a girl, so maybe there was something else she wasn’t telling Louis. He had tried to ask her, but she kept putting it off and avoided the topic altogether no matter how much he tried.

“What’s wrong?” Harry prodded. “You can talk to us.”

Louis nodded his head in agreement and El looked at the two of them from her spot on the floor. “I texted Max.”

“You did?” Louis asked her warily. She nodded her head slowly. Why was she texting him when she was thinking about girls and kissing? Louis smiled at her encouragingly, anyhow. “You didn’t tell me. What did you say?”

“Just hey,” she replied with another shrug. “We talked for a long time after that and I stopped responding a while ago, but it was good. We have so many things to talk about and it seemed endless via text, so then he asked me for dinner to catch up properly.”

“That’s great,” Harry smiled. “You can hang out with him and you guys can reconnect.”

“Yeah,” she nodded. “It’d be nice. Like, you know how they say that everything happens for a reason? When I saw Max after all these years, all I could think was that this was meant to be, you know?”

“Totally, El,” Louis said. “You used to like him so much. Like proper fancied your pants off. Maybe this is a second chance at the one that got away.”

“What a line,” Harry commended, grinning at Louis. Louis smiled at Harry smugly, only then realizing that he’d slipped an arm over the couch behind Louis and Louis never even noticed. It only made him want to scoot closer and make the space between them disappear. Harry’s finger simply grazing Louis’ shoulder was enough to make him shiver and it was so embarrassing how much Harry affected him.

“Thanks. I try,” Louis said to him, hoping he sounded cooler than he felt.

Harry chuckled beside Louis before turning back to El, who was eyeing them knowingly. “I agree with Louis. However, this doesn’t explain why you’re upset?”

“I’m not upset. I’m just--nervous,” El replied.

Louis narrowed his eyes in on El and realized she was lying. Not a lot of people knew El’s lying face, but Louis did. And she was making it right now. Her eyes were a lot wider and her lips puckered exaggeratedly. It surprised him that not many people caught on. And then it dawned on him that El was probably not willing to share whatever it was that was bothering her in front of Harry. If she really was suffering from a sexuality crisis, then she probably wouldn’t want to talk about it in front of everyone.

It made Louis a bit sad that he wasn’t able to help her more. If only she would just open up because there was absolutely nothing wrong with liking to kiss girls. She didn’t have to feel as trapped as she seemed to feel. Lying and making excuses when everyone could clearly see she was upset was so unlike her.

Louis decided to let it go and maybe leave El with her thoughts for now. He was going to come back to it later when THEY were alone and see if she would open up then. For now, it was best to not have Harry prod at her anymore.  

“Want to go watch some _How I Met Your Mother_?” Louis asked him.

Harry turned to Louis and then to the books in his bag. He looked conflicted and legitimately stressed out over the fact that he had to choose, which caused Louis to laugh. He got up off his seat and extended his hand to Harry. Harry _obviously_ took it and followed Louis like it didn’t take much to make up his mind after that. It made Louis feel way better than it should have, but no one had to know that.  

“I thought we were all going to study,” Harry said, once they were alone in his room.

Louis shrugged, letting go of his hand and sitting down on his bed. Harry looked at Louis carefully for a moment before smirking. “You just wanted to get me alone, didn’t you?”

Louis rolled his eyes at that, partially because Harry was right, but Louis certainly wasn’t going to admit to that. Louis turned away from him and got comfortable on his bed with his legs pulled up. “I have no idea what you’re on about,” Louis said eventually. “I just wanted to watch some Netflix.”

Harry laughed before lunging for Louis’ bed and covering him up with his body. Louis let out a startled shriek before bursting into laughter. “Oh my god,” he breathed out. “Are you fucking crazy? I could have _died_.”

“Highly doubt you would have died,” Harry mumbled before lifting his head up to meet Louis’ eyes and then placing a kiss on my chin. “You’re so dramatic.”

“Yeah and you just wanted a cuddle, didn’t you?” Louis asked, raising an eyebrow, feeling hot from head to toe.

“It’s exactly what I wanted,” he laughed before situating himself so he was laying on his side beside Louis with his arms around him. Louis put the laptop over his lap and turned on the next episode of the show. It didn’t occur to him until another two episodes later that Harry and him started this show with the laptop sitting between them, a big amount of distance between them. And now they were halfway done with the show and Harry was perfectly aligned with Louis, bodies pressed close.

+++

Since Zayn’s birthday was on a school day, the boys decided to have a low key party for him at his flat later on in the weekend. They only invited a few close friends and the setup was a combined effort. It didn’t take much since everyone pitched in and helped out, so they were done relatively fast and with plenty of time to pre-game.

Louis was making drinks with Taylor in the living room while Niall and Ed were making nachos and fajitas in the kitchen. The rest of the group was sprawled around the living room, laughing and joking about one thing or another. It seemed it was getting too dull because Zayn pulled his laptop out and they started thinking of fun party games to play when everyone got there.

“What about truth or dare?” Barbara asked. “That’s always fun.”

“I, for one, am a great fan of that game,” Niall exclaimed, laughing when he heard her suggestion.

Barbara preened while Zayn rolled his eyes at how _whipped_ Niall sounded already. “Fine. I’ll Google some unique truth or dare questions.” After looking through the list, he looked up at Liam. “Alright, Li, truth or dare?”

Liam frowned in confusion. “We’re playing right now?” he asked, wary and scared. He should be. Zayn was ruthless at this game.  

Zayn nodded briskly. “Might as well. The drinks aren’t ready yet and I’m bored.”

“Fine, truth, then,” Liam replied, eyeing Zayn suspiciously.

“Okay. If you were locked in a room with only one person in this flat, who would you choose and why?”

Liam bit his lip, scanning everyone sitting around him before his eyes stopped at El. He grinned cheekily before nudging her on the shoulder. “El because she’s smart enough to figure out a way to get us out of there.”

“Thank you, Liam,” El giggled, patting him on the arm, affectionately.

“Alright, El,” Zayn continued, looking at her. “Your turn. Truth or dare?”

“Truth,” she picked confidently.

Zayn made a face at the fact that she also chose truth, but went along with it anyway. “What was the lowest grade you’ve ever received in school and for what subject?”

“I think I know the answer to this one,” Louis said, turning to El, who had her lips pursed and expression thoughtful. “Was it English with Messerli because you always complained about it?”

“No,” El shook her head, sadly. “It was P.E. in year nine. I got a 53 percent.”

“How do you get a 53 percent in that?” Liam asked, shocked and confused. “It’s like recreation and basically a free period.”

“I know,” El groaned. “But we did square dancing that year and I _hated_ my partner because he was gross, so, I never cooperated. Anyways, it was a dark time in my life. I’d rather we not discuss this because that felt like the end of the world.”

Zayn barked out a laugh before looking back at his screen. “Fine, then. Does anyone actually have the balls to do a dare?”

“We’re all sober,” Liam reminded him, crossing his legs and resting them over the coffee table. “No one in their right minds is going to choose dare when they’re sober and _you’re_ the one doing the daring.”

“I resent that,” Zayn frowned, actually looking offended. “Come on. No one?”

Harry bit his lip, considering the offer before looking at him. “Fine, I’ll do a dare.”

Zayn threw a fist in the air in rejoice and scanned the list in front of him. After what seemed like a long time, but was only two minutes, he looked up at Harry, who was waiting patiently, and then everyone in the flat. A slow, cheeky grin formed on his lips and he said, “I dare you to kiss the prettiest person in this room.”

Everyone started to laugh and watch as Harry shook his head with a smile. “Give me a different dare,” he said.

“Why? You too scared, Styles? Plenty of pretty people in this room,” he reminded him.

Harry nodded, looking over at El and Barbara and Liam, who were sitting across from him. They all laughed and it was almost too funny and not so funny at once. Louis had no idea what everyone was thinking because his mind was on a constant loop of hoping Harry would kiss him and then scared that he wouldn’t and Louis’d be jealous of his own friends. The thought of it was enough for Louis to take the drinks he made and go to the kitchen.

It was silly, Louis knew that, but he didn’t know what else to do. Harry didn’t even look over at him and everyone was laughing out there, which he didn’t think he could do.

When Louis stepped into the kitchen, he saw Ed was done making the chicken for the fajitas and was now rolling them. “They playing truth or dare out there?” he asked, rolling a fajita and placing it on a platter.

Louis nodded his head slowly. “Harry’s going to kiss the prettiest person in the room.”

Ed hummed in response. And then Niall decided that it would be a good idea to take a bite of the piping hot fajita. It almost happened in slow motion, even though he bit into it super fast and big, and before they knew it, he was screaming.

“ _It’s hot_ ,” he cried, mouth full of fajita, opening and closing it like a fish. “ _Fuck_.”

Louis started laughing hysterically with Ed, who was bent over, not bothering to help Niall get any water to help him swallow it down. Niall was standing there, fanning his own mouth while his face turned ten shades of pink. Louis continued to laugh until he noticed Harry standing at the doorway, staring at him. Louis giggled, walking over and pointing towards Niall.

“You just missed the best thing,” he said. “Niall just took a bite of fajita and it burned his mouth.” Harry chuckled softly, looking over at Niall, who was still trying to swallow down whatever cheese and meat was still left in his mouth. Then he looked back down at Louis and Louis suddenly remembered.

The dare.

Kiss the prettiest person in the room.

Before Louis could form another coherent thought, Harry leaned in closer. “I’m going to do something right now,” he said to Louis. “And please don’t freak out, okay?”

Louis could only nod his head once before Harry cupped Louis’ face in his hands and pressed their lips together. Louis was immediately on board, fisting Harry’s t-shirt in his hands and pulling him in closer. It wasn’t anything like the night they’d first kissed where they were slow and then hungry for more. This one was a lot more chaste, closed mouths and dry lips just brushing against each other in tentative kisses.

Not only that, but this one was in front of all of their friends. They were all standing or sitting there watching the two of them. It didn’t matter, though. Nothing mattered at that point other than how soft Harry’s lips felt and how strong his hands were.

“Oh my god,” Niall muttered beside them.

That was followed by Zayn screaming, “Fucking get in, mates!”

+++

Kissing Harry for the second time seemed to have awakened something within Louis.

It made his feelings so much more clear to himself and he couldn’t ignore or push them away like he usually did. He couldn’t ignore the way his heartbeat would get louder whenever Harry was near him or the fact that Louis never wanted it to stop. He couldn’t forget the way Harry’s lips felt on his and how he wanted them to stay there. And that was the thing. Louis wanted Harry to kiss him, even though he could barely say it out loud. Louis wanted Harry to put his hand on him and bring him close and just kiss him.

It didn’t matter if it was on his cheek, lips, neck, or shoulder. Louis’ skin just felt lacking without Harry’s lips on them and that worried him.

Especially when he had to sit there and watch him flirt with some girl from Phi Sig Delta.

Someone had told Liam it would be okay to invite Natalie Murphy because he wanted to get laid that night and she decided to bring a few of her friends. So, Louis couldn’t ignore Harry and the beautiful brunette he was talking to while they sat close next to each other on the couch. Mostly because there were hardly many people there. The guys from the frat came and so did a few of Zayn’s art friends, but they were getting high in the corner, so they hardly counted.

The most logical solution for Louis seemed to be hiding out in the kitchen and getting drunk. He hadn’t drank to the point of inebriation in a while, so it felt great. He had Ed and Niall refill his cup continuously throughout the night until they finally put a stop it. And that was so depressing because they were the ones that drank the most. Louis wasn’t even _that_ drunk. Nevertheless, once they denied him, he couldn’t hide there any longer and had to walk out to the living room again. Louis pouted his way over to a chair and sat down where Harry and the girl were in plain sight.

Louis could have sat somewhere else. He could have hid some more, but he wanted to see Harry.

It was like Louis wanted to be some sort of masochist and torture himself. If only Niall and Ed hadn’t put a stop to the drinking because Louis could use, like, just one more. He wanted to drink and forget about the fact that Harry was there and _not_ kissing him. And it had occurred to him that he could just go up to him and casually do it like he’d done it to Louis a mere three hours ago, but he was too scared. And Louis wasn’t sure if he was scared of rejection or the fact that Harry was his friend and he valued Harry more than most.

Louis almost wished he could tell Harry how he felt because even though it was hard for him to accept or make sense of it, he still wanted Harry to know. Harry would know what to do. He always did.

 

+++

Louis had stumbled on home with the help of El and Zayn at the end of the night. The two of them deemed him unable to walk on his own since he could hardly stand up on his own and El needed help carrying him. Louis was a bit sloppy, rambling on about one thing or another as they carried him out of the flat. It did make him feel a bit better that Harry had looked at him in concern right before he left.

After Niall and Ed put a stop to his drinking, Louis had went out with Zayn to smoke a few joints, instead. Mostly because he didn’t want to stand there and watch Harry take shots with that girl. Harry did try and talk to him for a while, but Louis kept pushing him off and away to that girl and he eventually did go, even though it was the opposite of what Louis wanted him to do.

When they reached their flat, El deposited Louis on his bed and made sure he took his shoes off, changed, and drank some water before getting into bed. The only problem was that he wasn’t quite sleepy yet and she was already off to bed. Louis slipped his phone out from his jeans pocket, and without thinking, opened up a text with Harry.

 

+++

There was _nothing_ like waking up after drinking your weight in alcohol the night before.

Louis’ head was pounding and his mouth and throat were parched as fuck. It felt like a train had hit him. He groaned out loud, rolling onto his side. What happened? Why did he think this was going to be a good idea? He tried to remember something from the night before, but trying to retain any recollection of what happened last night was difficult as well. It made his head hurt and everything felt so distant and fuzzy that he didn’t even want to bother. Louis, instead, felt around his bed for his phone and unlocked it. When he saw he had a few new texts, he clicked on his messages app and scanned his new threads until it landed on Harry’s name.

The time listed since the last text was 4:19 AM the night before and Louis didn’t know if that was _good_ or _bad_. Drunk texting was never something he usually did, but apparently he did it last night. Louis opened the thread, curiously, and let out an audible gasp when he saw the content.

Louis literally told Harry wanted to _kiss_ him last night. He _actually_ said it to him and Harry _actually_ replied back saying he would _kiss_ him back. What kind of fucking shit? Louis couldn’t tell if he should be thrilled or mortified.

Louis dropped his phone on his bed rather dramatically, not bothering to reply back to any other texts and instead groaned out loud again, like he was in excruciating pain, which he was, but it was much more exaggerated than that. What had he done? How did he recover from this? The texts with Harry had ended there and Louis presumed it was because he had passed out.

After five minutes of making weird animal like noises, El walked into Louis’ room and gave him a look. Louis must have been louder than he thought.

“You okay?” she asked warily.

Louis looked up at her from under his covers. “I’m a dumb arse.”

“Are you hungover?” she snorted.

“ _That_ and I’m a dumb arse,” he told her flatly.

El frowned at him with a confused expression and walked back out towards her bedroom again. Some friend she was. She probably wrote this off as Louis being overly dramatic and hungover as usual. El knew better than to indulge Louis when he was being ridiculous unless it was really needed. But this was needed.

Louis lied there in silence, staring at his phone like it was the devil or something, before grabbing it again and looking at the thread of messages. How did he even think it would be a good idea to text that? How was he supposed to face Harry now? What would they do? However, the more Louis looked at the text, the more Harry’s words started to sink in.

_Then you should kiss me because I won’t stop you._

It was bold and it was different than what they usually said to each other. Yeah, they flirted, but it never went as far as bluntly saying what they _wanted_ to do. It was never this much, but it wasn’t bad. This situation was oddly exhilarating and Louis liked it. Maybe this wasn’t as bad as he first thought. He should just let it go for now and wait it out to see if Harry said anything.

After fucking around on his phone a bit more, finally writing back to everyone and catching up on his social media, Louis got out of bed and freshened up. He desperately needed to shower and brush his teeth after all the shit he did last night. Once done, he walked back to his room and looked through the pile of clothes on his chair. Louis found a white t-shirt and picked it up, wondering whether or not it was clean. He bit his lip, bringing it up to his nose to smell it only to be _assaulted_ by Harry’s smell. Coming from _Louis’_ shirt.

Louis must have worn it when he saw Harry or something because Harry’s smell was lingering on it and just sniffing it made Louis’ heartbeat speed up. And that’s so fucking weird. Why would smelling Harry’s scent make his heartbeat race? What did that even mean? What did anything with Harry mean?

Surely, it couldn’t mean that he had feelings for Harry.

Like, that was a _bizarre_ thought.

However, the more Louis sat there on his floor completely stark naked, clutching that stupid Harry-scented shirt, he started to realize that he _did_ have feelings for Harry and he’d had them for a while. They’d been there before they kissed each other, before they started to flirt and before things got to this point. Louis just couldn’t pinpoint _when_ and he wondered how fucked up that was. Harry and he had become best friends over the past few months and somewhere along the line, Louis developed _romantic_ feelings for him.

Fuck.

Shit fucking fuck.

Louis knew deep down that it wasn’t a small crush either. Harry’s simple smell was making his heart race and palms sweat, for Christ’s sake. Even when Harry touched Louis, whether it was his wonderful, addictive hugs or something as small as the touch of a hand, it started something up in him. Harry made him feel more alive than he’d felt in a long time and Louis wondered when he came to this point of falling so hard yet so slowly for him that he didn’t even notice or realize until now. Louis was so blind and so oblivious to everything that was happening not just around him, but within him, that he’d completely missed the big sign right in front of him.

The one that all their friends saw before he had. The one that Louis’d tried so hard to shut down and ignore. It was now glaring him in the face and he had no way of avoiding it anymore. In fact, just accepting the truth that he had feelings for Harry was enough to make Louis like him more, somehow. He was so completely fucked.

+++

El had left to go to the library for the entire day to revise for an upcoming exam, so Louis was home alone to fester over his newfound feelings for Harry. Which weren’t really that new at all, the more Louis thought about it. It was anything but new because Louis was a dumb arse. A complete dumb arse who had missed so many things because he was so busy trying to ignore his God damn feelings.

And it was just shit because he didn’t know where to go from here. What did he do? Did he tell Harry? Did he _want_ to tell him? Louis had no fucking idea because what happened after that? Harry flirted with him, but friends casually flirt. If that wasn’t the case, then Liam and El would have been in a relationship by now because they flirted all the time. It was like second nature to boys and Louis didn’t want to be one of those people who read into things too much.

Louis wanted to be calm and rational about this and not make any sudden decisions that he’d regret. Because what if Harry did not feel the same and Louis made things awkward by telling him he liked him? That would ruin everything that Louis’d try to rebuild after they hooked up. However, that only went so far because look where it got them now. Harry was hitting on Louis left and right and Louis was feeling it so hard that it led him to this. Sitting in his flat while having a nervous breakdown because he realized he had fallen for his best friend.

When El finally got home, Louis looked at her with wild eyes, his nails bitten down painfully short. El frowned at Louis as she closed the door and toed off her shoes. “Fuck, you okay? You look like a crazy man.”

“I feel crazy, El,” Louis replied, watching as she made her way over to the living room where Louis was sat. She placed a bag of what smelled like Chinese food on the table and took off her coat before settling down.

“What’s going on? Why are you crazy?” she asked, while taking out the food. Louis was rather happy about that because he was starving. All this thinking today made him forget to eat. This whole thing was a danger to his health. Louis was going to die.

“I realized some things after last night,” Louis replied slowly.

“Like what? Come on. Out with it,” she urged, her eyes focusing on getting their dinner together.

“Remember when I told you I’m a dumb arse this morning?” Louis asked her.

“Yeah,” she nodded, handing over a packet of food to him with a fork. Louis took it from her before opening it and salivating at the beef lo mein. It smelled and looked heavenly to him. He quickly took a bite before looking up at her.

“Well, I did something super dumb last night,” he replied, while chewing.

“Obviously. What did you do?”

“I drunk texted Harry that I wanted to kiss him,” he said as calmly as he could.

El snorted, fried prawn in her mouth. “Again?” she asked.

“What do you mean _again_?” Louis asked with a frown. “I never drunk texted him that before.”

“No, I meant that you want to kiss him _again_ ,” she said. “Because didn’t you kiss last night? Everyone saw.”

Louis frowned at her momentarily in confusion like she was crazy before his memory started to come back. His eyes slowly widened and his mouth dropped.

 _Fuck_.

In the midst of his hangover from drinking too much last night, to panicking over his drunk texts and then realizing he liked Harry, Louis had completely forgotten that they’d kissed, too. Quite heatedly, might he add. Zayn had dared Harry to kiss the prettiest person in the room. Louis had run out because he got irrationally jealous and Harry still sought him out and laid one nice, big kiss on him. One that Louis returned just as eagerly with his hands in Harry’s wonderful, curly hair. Their friends were catcalling them the entire time and when they pulled apart, Harry had grinned at Louis stupidly before walking back to the others.

Then shortly after while guests started coming in and the party got started, Louis had sat on the kitchen counter getting drunk while Harry talked to some girl. That was when it started going downhill. Louis didn’t remember how it got to that point, but after he kissed Harry, he just knew he needed to get drunk. He should have known that if he left Harry alone for too long then Harry’d have some leech on him. It had happened before and warranted the same reaction from Louis. One of jealousy and bitterness, which wasn’t fair because Louis had been the one who told him to do all that.

Louis just couldn’t believe he forgot that happened because the kiss was amazing. He wanted to relive it over and over again. Preferably alone with less clothes on, if they could.

“So, what now?” El asked after Louis zoned out for a few moments.

Louis looked down at his food, still hungry, yet not able to eat. “He texted back saying I should kiss him because he wouldn’t stop me.”

“What the fuck?” El laughed, shoveling fried rice in her mouth, quite unattractively. “That’s kind of hot. Did you talk to him after?”

“No,” Louis shook his head, twirling lo mein with his fork. “I passed out and then woke up, freaking out and I’ve been freaking out ever since because I like him El. Like genuinely, seriously, fucking like him.”

“I’ve known that for a while,” she said rather calmly. “Even Taylor has, but we figured we’d let you figure it out on your own since you never got our hints.”

“You should have told me,” Louis practically yelled. “I didn’t want to wake up with a hangover one day and realize that I have a stupid crush on my best mate. It’s not an ideal wake up call, to be honest. It’s fucked up.”

“I did try,” El said to Louis. “You always got weirdly defensive and yelled at me.”

“Well, I was in denial, _duh_.” Louis said matter of factly. “I haven’t felt like this in a long time, El. I don’t know what to do. What is the next step?”

She finished chewing before answering. “Well, for one, you could relax because it’s not the end of the world. Secondly, what do you want to do?”

“I don’t know, really. I want to kiss him. I know that. I want to get naked with him and do stuff, too.”

“So, this is more than just a small crush. You wanna have sex with him, too.”

“Obviously. Have you _seen_ him, El? He’s fucking tall and handsome as hell and I want to run my hands through his stupid curls and kiss the living shit out of him.”

“Nice,” she grinned with a nod of her head. “What’s stopping you then?”

“When we first hooked up, I’d told him to forget everything that happened between us because I didn’t want it to change anything. He agreed and went on doing what he was doing, which is flirting with other people and hooking up, but things did change. We flirt so much more, now, and I’m like constantly turned on by _everything_ he says to me. It’s a lot. Like, we hang out at these parties and get drunk or high and just say things to each other, which we know we wouldn’t in the morning while sober.”

“Really?” El asked, raising an eyebrow.

Louis nodded his head. “For a long time, while we did it, I really liked it. Mostly because it made me feel something...something I hadn’t felt in a long time and it was so good. He makes me feel so good all the time. And I think we just use the lateness or how drunk we are as an excuse to say such things to each other because we know we could get away with it. At least, I do.”

“Louis,” El cooed, putting down her fork to look at him in a fond way. “You’ll be fine. Like, it’s okay. Don’t freak out and just take this one day at a time. I’m sure he feels the same way.”

“I don’t know... _maybe_. Like, wouldn’t it be so hypocritical? The fact that he was trying to seriously date and find the one and I pushed him to start becoming this player, only to get fucking jealous over and over every time he hooked up with someone else.”

“You were jealous?” she asked.

“I was,” Louis laughed, humorlessly. “Like, fuck. I thought back to every time he talked about someone else or hooked up with them and I was _so_ fucking jealous, but I kept ignoring it. And now I like him. Like, I seriously like him. I’m such a _hypocrite_.”

“You’re not,” El insisted. “You just...gave some really bad advice.”

“My advice was good,” Louis said, defending himself rather quickly. “However, my timing was very off and I didn’t know I was going to want him.”

“It all comes down to that, really. Timing is everything because things just happen how they’re meant to. And you can’t do anything about it, babe. Just have to go with the flow.”

“You’re so smart,” Louis pouted. “And I am so sad.”

“Well, don’t be sad,” she insisted. “Cheer up because we’re planning a big party for Harry’s twenty-second.”

Louis’ eyebrows quirked up and he looked at her with a questioning expression. “Really?”

“Yeah,” she said. “I had lunch with Zayn and Niall today and they told me that they’re planning a huge bash for Harry at this club nearby. We’re all going.”

“That sounds fun,” Louis smiled. “Harry’ll be _so_ happy. I want him to be happy, El.”

“Yeah,” she smiled sweetly. “You also want to fuck him into the next century.”

Louis gasped, staring at her and looking taken aback, but then realized she was right. El smirked victoriously as he nodded slowly in response before shoving lo mein into his mouth.

+++

Louis was drunk. _Again_.

Except this time, he wasn’t hiding from Harry -- he was with him. They were at the frat house for the party that weekend and it wasn’t until the two of them had a few drinks that they started to get handsy past the just platonic hugs. Louis’d seen him a few times since last weekend and it had been normal. He’d acted like they’d never texted each other, albeit with a few heated looks and flirty touches thrown in regardless. They were fine and Louis’d calmed down a bit more because it wasn’t as bad or dramatic as he was making it out to be. If Harry was going to be cool about it, then so was Louis.

Tonight, they were pressed up against each other on a couch, drunk out of their minds and unable to stop touching one another. Harry had an arm slung around Louis’ waist, his face in the crook of Louis’ neck while Louis’ fingers ran through his hair and held on to his back to keep him in place.

“You’re tickling me,” Louis mumbled to Harry as his breath fanned against Louis’ skin, making the area warm. He blew on the spot, making Louis giggle a little and squirm under him.

“I’m so drunk,” Harry laughed. “Shit, Louis.”

“Me, too,” Louis said to him. He gave up on trying to get Harry to stop tickling him because Harry seemed rather comfortable and happy where he was, so Louis didn’t mind as much. Harry was a bit heavy, but nothing Louis couldn’t handle. And if the fact that a few girls and boys who clearly wanted to talk to Harry walked by or looked at them with envious glares had anything to do with it, then no one had to know. It made Louis feel good in a sick way that Harry was here with him and not with them. He wasn’t about to give that up.

“I’m happy you’re here,” Harry said, looking at Louis with dark, green eyes. “You not coming to parties sucks. I always miss you.”

“You didn’t miss me last week when you were talking to that girl,” Louis said before his brain could process the underlying meaning behind his words. Fuck.

Harry looked at Louis for a long moment, eyes fond and a bit intense. “She didn’t mean anything to me,” he whispered. “You do, though. You’re my best friend.”

Harry smiled at Louis again and tilted his head to the side before kissing his neck. Louis’ eyes fluttered closed instinctively and he didn’t know what to focus on more. The fact that Harry was kissing his neck after whispering that he was his _best friend_ or the fact that they were doing this in plain sight at a frat party.

Louis didn’t get a chance to decide because then Harry’s tongue darted out, swiping over the skin he kissed before his lips puckered and he sucked on it. Louis let out a soft, quiet whimper, his hands coming to rest up on Harry’s shoulders to hold himself steady. Harry continued to suck on the skin, occasionally kissing over it and then he bit down on it hard, causing Louis to let out a soft gasp. Louis couldn’t even bear to open his eyes and see whether or not anyone was watching because he just needed Harry to continue. He didn’t want him to stop at all.

Harry’s hand that was draped over Louis’ waist, gripped onto his hips in a bruising manner, but even that wasn’t enough to drown out how good his mouth felt on Louis’ skin. However, Harry stopped at some point and Louis felt cold without his lips on him. He wanted _more_ and his eyes shot open, looking at Harry wildly. Harry looked back at him, eyes dark and dazed. Louis was sure Harry had left a big, dark mark because his neck was _throbbing_. Louis didn’t care one bit.

“Want you so bad,” Harry whispered, his voice hoarse and low.

Louis’ lips parted, letting out a breath he was holding in before gulping. Harry was staring intently at Louis’ lips and Louis wondered when they got here. How they got from being just friends to getting drunk and whispering things to each other that they wouldn’t say if they were sober.

“Harry,” Liam called.

The two of them jumped up, startled and more aware of their surroundings. Harry lifted himself off of Louis and turned to their friends, all of whom were gesturing for him to come over to them. He ran a hand through his hair and looked at Louis briefly before _actually_ adjusting his crotch and then walking over to Liam and the rest of their friends.

Louis gaped at him for a long time and sat there with his hands sitting uselessly on his lap and a mark on the side of his neck that was as big as a golf ball.

 

+++

Louis managed to walk home with El two hours later. After Harry had left Louis on the couch, Louis hadn’t seen much of him except for fleeting glimpses. Harry was too busy talking to one of the boys or playing some game. Louis didn’t mind, though. He was completely out of it and at least twenty people had asked where he got his love bite. And all Louis could do was stare at them, blankly, because his mind could still not wrap around what happened.

When they got home, El passed out on the couch from exhaustion. Louis contemplated trying to get her to go to bed, but he was too tired himself. So, he put a blanket over her and took off her heels before going to his room. He slowly took his clothes off before crawling into his bed, naked.

He lied awake for a few moments, staring at his ceiling and trying not to touch the mark Harry left. He wanted to. He also wanted to stop thinking about Harry so much because it made his heart simultaneously feel like it was going to burst and hurt from feeling too much. Having a crush was both exhilarating and terrifying.

And then as if Harry could read Louis’ mind, he texted him, making Louis’ phone vibrate next to him. Louis smiled, unlocking it to reply.

 

Louis’ fingers froze over his phone, his body feeling hot and flushed at the image of Harry’s words. It was a lot and it was things that they’d never said to each other, but it seemed that that was the case these days. They crossed lines everyday and at the end of the day, only one thing was clear: two people have never wanted to fuck each other this bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'll try and update on sunday! thanks so much guys. hope u enjoyed :)  
>   
> [tumblr](http://quitefinishedlarry.tumblr.com/) / [fic page](http://quitefinishedlarry.tumblr.com/yail) / [chapter post](http://quitefinishedlarry.tumblr.com/post/137707260575/fic-you-are-in-love-author-wildestdreams)


	14. the one where harry's feeling twenty two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiii! i'm officially back from my month long trip! got this done last night but it was too late to update, so i decided to do it today. i hope you enjoy.  
>   
> thanks to [mac](http://realitybetterthanfiction.tumblr.com/) for betaing!!! :)

It had been a really long time since Louis’d let himself fall for anyone. The more he grew up, the more he saw how risky it was to form feelings for a boy and he didn’t want to do that anymore, at least not until he’d found someone who was worthy of his time. Louis had built a safety net around himself and stayed within it because it felt good and comforting. However, it was rather boring at times, as well. There was no one occupying your thoughts. It was always just you and yourself. And while that was a bit of relief at times and a good way to become more in tune with who you were, there was nothing like having a _crush_.

Having a crush was something else entirely. Exciting and stressful, exhilarating and exhausting. It meant having someone _invade_ your every thought, making it about them, instead. You could be doing something as mundane as washing dishes and your thoughts would wander over to your crush, wondering what they were doing; how it would feel if they were with you in that moment. Whether or not they were thinking of you, too. And suddenly every song you heard was about them. Every lyric was twisted so that you could relate to and think about said crush some more. Seeing them brought _butterflies_ to your stomach and touching them made you nervous, jittery, and excited all at once.

That was how Louis felt about Harry.

Harry, the guy who he was stubbornly _platonic_ with until one day it suddenly wasn’t like that anymore. One minute he was Louis’ best friend and the next Louis wanted to hold his hand and kiss him all the time. He had no idea when it all started to change, but he realized it had been a long time coming. If he had opened his eyes a little more, he’d have probably picked up on what El and the rest of them had seen ages ago. He’d have realized that as the days grew, so did his feelings and whatever it was that was between them.  

And now, Louis didn’t know how to be around Harry anymore now that _just friends_ wasn’t cutting it. Following their drunken sexting, it had been quiet between them, more or less. They hadn’t seen each other because of classes and such, but they did send each other the occasional snapchat here and there. That didn’t mean that Harry wasn’t always on Louis’ mind, though. Louis couldn’t do _anything_ without thinking about Harry or talking about him for that matter.

El was so _sick_ of hearing Harry’s name after some time that she limited Louis to only being able to talk about him a certain number of times in a day. Louis tried to follow her rules, but they both knew he would inevitably break them after a mere few hours. It was just so _hard_ not to talk or think about him. Harry was gorgeous and he had a lovely heart and he was so kind. Louis could hardly believe all of that good could be put together in one six foot tall boy.

With Harry’s big birthday party coming up, El and Louis had gone shopping in hopes of getting him something that he’d like. And after much browsing, El had settled on a printed head scarf from Burberry, while Louis’d gone with a floral print shirt from YSL. Bless Harry and his ability to have good taste and dress well, _as if_ he wasn’t already perfect enough.

Louis’d also bought him a book of knock knock jokes and a new, small cross necklace to add to his collection. He wasn’t sure if it was too much, but he didn’t care at the same time. El, however, wanted to take the piss. She was staring at Louis in amusement as he wrapped Harry’s present, putting it all in a pile in the box he had gotten before wrapping it with wrapping paper. There was even a bow to add to the top.

“What?” Louis asked, ignoring her knowing smirk.

“Nothing,” she replied with a laugh, leaning against his doorframe. “Just watching you wrap your little boyfriend’s present.”

“Not my boyfriend,” Louis replied.

“Yeah, but you _like_ him,” she said, emphasizing on the word _like_.

“You’re honestly a five year old,” Louis said, trying not to laugh himself.

El cackled in response and walked back to her bedroom, leaving Louis to look at his present for Harry. It wasn’t _too_ much. He just wanted to do something nice for Harry and get him _nice_ things. If any of it had to do with Louis wanting to get into his pants, too--well, no one had to know.

+++

El and Louis bundled up in their coats, walking over to Niall and Harry’s for pre-gaming before the birthday party later that night. However, Louis was still shivering, and the only thing that kept him going at all was the promise of warmth in their flat _and_ seeing Harry. He hadn’t seen Harry in a few days and he was quite nervous, surprisingly.

Louis knew they were fine, for the most part. Nothing was awkward after the sexting, but he knew that the reason they were holding off was because it was too heavy. Something changed between them and they were both seemingly aware of that. Whatever exchange they were going to have after that night had to be done face to face. The simple thought of it made Louis jittery and excited. He also didn’t want to be oblivious to the fact that _something_ could arise between them tonight. There was a chance that they could hook up and Louis kind of wanted to make sure they did.

At least El wanted to make sure they did because _I’m so sick of hearing you whine about him, like, just go fuck him already_. And Louis, for one, was not about to not listen to his best friend.

When they arrived, Liam opened the door for them, giving them hugs and kisses as they walked in. They found the rest of the squad in the living room, sipping what looked like champagne while The 1975 played from the iPod dock. Barbara was already there since she’d spent the night with Niall, _again_. The two of them were cuddled up on the couch, whispering things to each other. It was beautiful and disgusting all at once. Zayn was on his phone with his drink in his hand, sat beside Ed and Taylor. The only person missing was the birthday boy, himself.

Louis tried not to be too obvious as he eyed Harry’s bedroom door, which was shut tight, while hugging everyone hello, wondering what Harry was doing. They took off their coats and placed Harry’s gifts in the pile left by everyone else.

“What are you all drinking?” El asked, adjusting the straps on her violet dress.

“Champagne,” Barbara giggled. “Harry’s mum sent over, like, five bottles of it along with flowers. Isn’t that cute?”

“The cutest,” El agreed with a smile, helping herself to some. She turned to look at Louis. “Want some, Louis?”

Louis turned to her distractedly and shrugged. She gave him a knowing look before pouring him a flute of champagne and handing it over. Louis took it from her and sat down beside Zayn, who gave him a smile before turning back to his phone. He seemed to be having several conversations via text, all probably having to do with the party.

“So, what’s the plan now that everyone’s here?” Taylor asked.

“We’re going to Club 49 in Soho,” Zayn replied promptly. “The others are meeting us there. We’re just waiting for Harry to come out and should leave in about an hour or so. Cabs are already called up, too.”

“What’s taking Harry so long?” El asked, settling beside Taylor.

“He’s been trying to get ready for hours,” Niall said. “But kid’s so popular, he gets a call every few minutes from someone wishing him happy birthday.”

Louis smiled, just picturing Harry smiling into his phone as family members and friends all called him, one after another. Louis’d sent him a text, himself, last night at exactly midnight. A simple _happy birthday, babe!!! see tomorrow :* xx._ Harry had responded with a thank you and that he couldn’t wait. Followed by a whole line of x’s.

So, they stuck around and waited, drinking champagne and talking amongst ourselves. After a while, the girls gestured Louis over to the kitchen while the boys turned on a footie match on the telly.

Taylor eyed Louis, smirking as she gave him a once over. “You’re dressed quite nice,” she remarked.

“We all are,” Louis shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant.

“Oh, don’t play coy,” she rolled her eyes. “El’s told us all about your little revelation. We know who you’re trying to impress.”

Louis glared at El, watching as she cowered down guiltily, and sighed before leaning against the counter. “This is what I get for opening my mouth amongst my big mouth group of friends.”

“It’s not a surprise,” Taylor giggled. “We’ve all known how you and Harry feel about each other since the start. No harm in getting a little dressed up for him.”

“I suppose,” Louis smiled, feeling a blush rise on his cheeks.

“Are you guys going to have birthday sex?” Barbara asked, bluntly.

Louis’ mouth opened and closed like a fish as he stared at Barbara dumbfounded. “I--I don’t know, _Barbara_. Shit. We haven’t discussed it.”

“You never discuss whether you’re going to do it or not. It’s best when it’s in the moment,” she replied. “Niall and I never discuss. The heat of the moment says it all for us no matter where we are.”

“Mmm,” El mumbled in distaste. “We’ve all heard you two going at it like rabbits at least once since you’ve gotten together. No need to let us know more.”

“You love it,” Barbara rolled her eyes.

“I do _not_ love it,” El started to say until Louis drowned out her voice and literally everyone around him when he looked up to see Harry finally emerging from his bedroom. And Louis knew that seeing him after that night would be _something_ , but he didn’t think that it’d be like _this_. The fact that Louis couldn’t see anyone or anything around him but Harry and his stupid curly hair held up in a _stupid_ quiff. He looked beautiful and unreal in his navy blue button up that had little white hearts all over it. It was quirky and lovely, just like him.

Louis would have been content on standing there and staring at Harry for the rest of the night had Zayn not screamed and shook Louis out of his thoughts. “Hey, the birthday boy is here!” Harry laughed, his eyes gazing over everyone who was sat around.

“Hi, guys,” he said with a bright smile.

“Nice seeing you, H,” Ed laughed. “Polite of you to show up.”

“Mum called again and we ended up talking for a bit while I was on the toilet.”

“You talked to your mum while taking a shit?” Zayn asked him.

Harry didn’t reply for a long time and the boys burst out laughing, knowing that probably meant yes. The girls and Louis giggled from their spot and Harry turned to look at them, waving before his eyes locked on Louis’. His lips quirked up into a smile and he gave Louis a really obvious once over, eyes lingering and intense, which Louis could swear everyone was aware of. It was as if time stood still for a moment just between them and Louis wondered when it got to be that way. When Harry and he could just stare at each other with nothing but want and need between them, letting the tension deepen and get to the point where they couldn’t avoid it any longer.  

The moment was broken again when Niall walked over to grab his guitar, which was sat by the wall. “Hey, Harry. The boys and I’ve been practicing something for you.”

Harry turned away from Louis reluctantly and looked back at his friends. “You’re going to serenade me?”

“A bit, yeah,” Ed nodded with a smirk on his lips. “We just wanted you to know that we care for you and we love you and that want you to have the best birthday ever.”

“Okay,” Harry laughed warily as they all sat down together in front of him with Niall up in center. Louis made his way over to the boys and sat with them. This was initially Niall’s idea and Louis was all for it.

“ _I love you, bitch,”_ Zayn, Ed and Louis crooned out. El spit up her drink and Taylor was bent over the counter laughing, while Barbara mouthed along to the lyrics.

“ _I ain’t ever gonna stop loving you,_ bitch,” Niall and Liam finished, with Liam hitting his falsetto on the bitch.

Harry was kneeling on the ground by the end, laughing as he clapped for them along with the girls. “Amazing,” he cheered. “I’ve never felt more appreciated and loved in my life. You guys are the best friends a guy could ask for.”

“A man, Styles,” Zayn told him. “You’re twenty-two now. You’re a _man_.”

Niall scoffed at that. “He danced around the flat wearing nothing but his underwear while singing 22 by Saylor Twift last night.”

“ _Niall_ ,” Harry hissed with a glare. “That was meant to be a _secret_. Is there no flatmate confidentiality between us?”

“There is. It’s just a bit of a turn off when I’m trying to shag my girlfriend, but Saylor Twift is singing in the background about feeling happy, free, confused and lonely.”

“ _Again_ with the details,” El whined, throwing her hand up in the air in annoyance.

“He has a really strong libido,” Barbara told her, proudly and defensively. “Absolutely nothing wrong with that.”

“It is when you tell us all about it,” El continued. Louis turned away from the two again with an eye roll before walking towards the living room when he noticed Harry’s eyes on him again. Harry smiled brightly, his green eyes sparkling with mischief and something confident and cheeky as he walked over to meet Louis halfway.

They looked at each other for a brief moment before laughing, all sense of nervousness vanishing the moment they wrapped their arms around each other. “Happy birthday, Harry,” Louis smiled, tucking in his head against Harry’s chest. Harry’s hand stroked down Louis’ back, resting over his bum, giving him chills and tingles all the way down to his toes.

“Thank you,” Harry replied before pulling away at arm's length to look at Louis. “You look amazing. Prettiest boy I’ve ever seen.”

Louis wrinkled his nose, not being able to keep the smile off his face. “Charming, aren’t you?”

“Not trying to be,” he laughed, pressing a kiss on his forehead. “Just being honest. You know I love it when you wear red.”

“I do,” Louis nodded. “It’s why I wore it.”

“For me?” he asked, eyes intense, despite the playful smile on his lips.

“For you,” Louis agreed, biting his lip and watching the way Harry’s eyes turned dark while his own lips parted. Harry’s hand stroked over Louis’ waist and he gripped it, like he wanted Louis to know what he couldn’t say out loud right then. And like the rest of the night since Harry walked out of his room, Louis’d failed to realize that they weren’t the only two in the room. It just had to wait.

 

+++

Louis wasn’t sure if it was a plan or if it was simply by coincidence that Harry and he were the only two in their cab, while the others rode together despite it being a tight fit. Nevertheless, neither of them argued and got into the car. Harry told the driver their destination and they pulled away from the curb and drove off. The radio was on low to some news channel, filling in the silence between Harry and Louis.

And it wasn’t like silence between Harry and Louis was ever awkward or uncomfortable because the two of them were extremely comfortable with each other. It was just _tense_ , like most things between them now. There was this elephant in the room, for lack of a better expression, that neither were bringing up, even though it’d be really weird if they didn’t. They knew what they both wanted and they knew that it was constantly on their minds. It all really came down to _when_ it would happen and _who_ would initiate. And they must have been super obvious about it because all of their friends shoved them into one cab together, leaving them all alone to sort it out.

Not that Louis minded. It was nice and he liked being with Harry. He liked him, _a lot_. And Louis wondered whether it was written clearly on his face now that he’d come to terms with it. Whether or not Harry could see right through him.

Louis didn’t look over at Harry for the first few minutes of the drive, content on just sitting there and chewing his bottom lip to oblivion. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed that both of their palms were lying flat in the space between them over the seat. They were a mere few centimeters apart and Louis couldn’t help but smirk to himself as he slid his own hand closer. And he must not have been that discreet because a second later, Harry slid his palm closer, too.

This went on back and forth until their palms were pressed together and Harry had his pinky wrapped over Louis’. Louis was just about to move his hand closer again when Harry leaned over, kissing him right on the lips. Louis was only frozen for a second before he kissed Harry back, gripping the back of his head to hold him in place. Harry groaned into Louis’ mouth, his hand secured on the crook of Louis’ neck as he sucked Louis’ bottom lip between his.  

If Louis were able to form any coherent thoughts other than the feel of Harry’s soft curls under his fingers and the taste of the mint on his tongue or the smell of his Tom Ford cologne, he’d be more aware of the fact that they were in a cab. They were in front of a stranger and it was hardly the place to be having a heated make out session while the news reporter on the radio spoke of some bad weather or an unfortunate accident on the freeway. However, there wasn’t a single part of Louis that cared or would stop.

All he wanted was for Harry to keep kissing him until their breaths mingled into one. There were no lingering doubts or drunken haze to blame like the first night. This was what they wanted and what they’d been leading up to after a month of intense flirting, long, lingering gazes, and pure unadulterated want. In fact, Louis had a half a mind to tell the driver to turn the fuck around and head back to Harry’s flat so that they could do this properly because now that it was happening, Louis didn’t want to wait any longer.

If Harry were to take Louis right there in that cab, Louis wouldn’t stop him.

He kissed Harry feverishly, Harry’s mouth ravishing his own without any sense of nervousness. Louis felt Harry’s hand stroke down his neck, over his chest and towards his legs, where he wrapped it around Louis’ thigh and lifted it to wrap around his waist. Louis wasted no time in following suit and let out a soft whimper in response when he felt the friction through their pants. Harry’s long, calloused fingers stroked Louis’ thighs, getting closer and closer to his cock, which was already a semi at the moment. And it only went to prove that Louis wanted Harry in every way that he had to offer. He wanted to experience it all with him.

And Louis was so lost in the feeling of Harry’s mouth on his, whispering things like _so pretty_ and _fuck, so good_ , while his hands pulled his jumper higher up to touch more of him, that he didn’t even notice that the cab had stopped and they’d arrived.

The driver cleared his throat uncomfortably and Louis wanted to cry from how short lived that felt. He wanted to cry at the fact that Harry could literally kiss him for days and it still wouldn't be enough. Harry looked at Louis momentarily with his pupils blown wide with lust and gave him one last peck before pulling away and taking out his wallet. Louis reluctantly adjusted his shirt and ran a hand through his hair before climbing out of the car. Harry followed shortly and the two of them looked at each other for a moment until their friends called their names from the doorway.

They had all arrived before Harry and Louis and eyed them with smirks on their faces. Louis quickly pulled his phone out, opening the front camera to make sure he looked alright and everything was in tact. Except for the fact that he looked flushed and his hair was mussed and his eyes were dark. When he looked over at Harry, he seemed good, too. Even if the back of his hair was all mussed up from Louis’ fingers.

“Took you long enough,” El said once Louis’d approached her, standing beside who he could only assume was Max from his pictures.

“Sorry,” Louis replied, running his hand through his hair once again. He knew it was stupid, but he kept thinking that everyone would just know what had happened in the car. They’d know that Harry and he had basically made out like two horny teenagers the entire way and Harry’s hands had been all over him and Louis’ tongue had been in his mouth. They had to know. Louis still couldn’t shake off the feeling of Harry’s touch on his body or the feel of his lips on Louis’. It felt like Harry’d printed it on him for everyone to see.

“It’s fine,” El waved off, smiling. “This is Max. Max, this is my best friend and roommate, Louis.”

Max smiled at Louis--a sort of half smile where his lips curved to the left--before extending his hand over to shake Louis’. “Nice to meet you,” he said. “Heard tons about you.”

“Likewise,” Louis smiled, shaking his hand back, giving him a quick, subtle once over. He was exactly like El’s type. He had an adorable baby face, which contrasted with his deep, raspy voice. His hair was clean cut and he dressed smart, which was something she always liked in a guy. “It’s nice to finally meet you.”

“You, too,” Max replied, stuffing his hands in his pocket. “Shall we go in?” El and Louis nodded, following the rest of their group inside the club where Harry was met with cheers, hugs, and birthday wishes from all his frat brothers and a few friends from uni. He looked happy as he greeted everyone and even got picked up off his feet with Ed, Ashton, Dean, and Niall holding him up in the air.

Louis licked his lips, still able to taste Harry on them and turned away from the crowd that was surrounding him. He sat down in the small booth that El, Max, Liam, and Zayn were sat at. The others were either at the bar or at another booth beside theirs since not everyone could fit in one. El nudged Louis after a moment and gave him a look.

“What happened in the cab?” she asked, a smirk on her lips.

Louis smiled back, not being able to help himself. “Who said anything happened in the cab?”

“Your face does,” she snickered. “You got out completely flustered and I can tell your mind is elsewhere. Now, spill it.”

Louis looked down at his lap and pulled his lips in, wondering if this was the place to be talking about it. When he looked back up, he saw that the boys were talking with Max and getting to know him, so it was safe. Louis turned back to El, who was searching his face, brown eyes sparkling under the dim lights.

“Harry and I hooked up in the car. Like full on snogging and groping,” Louis breathed out quickly.

El’s eyes widened and she half laughed, half squealed. “What?” she practically screamed. “You two sno--.”

“Tone it down,” he interrupted with a warning tone. “And _yes,_ we snogged. Who knows what would have happened if the car didn’t stop. It was _wild_ , El. I’ve never been more turned on in my life.”

“Shit,” she squeaked. “This is amazing. This is like “Partition” by Beyoncé.”

Louis gave her a look. “”Partition” by Beyoncé?” he asked flatly.

“Yes,” she nodded. “The song about getting it on in the back seat on the way to the club and asking the driver to roll up the partition because you can’t even wait till you’ve reached there. It’s perfect.” She then paused and looked rather offended. “Why do _you_ get to live out Beyoncé songs? I like her more than you. I should be the one doing “Partition” in the back seat of the car.”

“Well, I’m sorry,” he shrugged. “Not like I planned it.”

“You didn’t. Niall and Zayn did. They wanted to get you two alone because apparently Harry had been talking about you non-stop.”

“He has?” Louis asked curiously.

El nodded with a smile. “It’s what they told me. He’s been going on about how fit you are. How much he wants to hook up with you. That sort of stuff, so they were, like, tonight’s the night.”

“Tonight’s the night,” Louis gulped, grabbing one of the shots Niall had just brought to their booth and downing it in one.

+++

  

Club 49 wasn’t that big. It was a thin, long room with colorful, dim lights. There was a bar off to one side with small booths lining the other. In the corner, towards the back, there was a DJ set up and a small, tight fitted dance floor. It was also 15 minutes away from campus, so the entire place was just packed with Harry’s friends. All of his frat brothers, their entire footie team and other friends he had within the school. None of them minded because that meant everyone was familiar with one another and it was just another weekend party just set in a different location.

Louis’d spent the first half of the night with all of his friends. They’d done shots and danced with each other, cracking jokes and laughing about stupid things. At some point, El thought she’d be funny and requested the DJ to play “Partition”. Louis was not amused, but because he was a bit drunk, he’d laughed and told her to go shove it before dragging her to the dance floor. Harry, for the most part, was as popular as ever, constantly talking to someone or another.

If it wasn’t a fellow teammate he was talking to, a frat brother would come over to give him a drink. And if it wasn’t a frat brother, it was a girl or boy hoping to get _lucky_. Louis was trying not to stare too hard, but it was a bit hard when Harry was staring right back. Harry and he shared more than a few intense, lingering gazes and Louis wondered how it looked to the outsider’s point of view. Probably creepy. _Definitely_ weird. Maybe hot.

Louis didn’t think either of them were avoiding the other. It was more so the fact that they weren’t being given a chance to just be together. They could easily go over to the other, but then they’d be interrupted by someone. And a part of Louis knew that if they were to just cross the room and meet, it would be a continuation from where they’d left off in the cab. And this time, they _wouldn’t_ be able to stop.

It did help that Harry wasn’t really paying attention to any of the people who were trying to chat him up. He was polite because he was Harry, but not his usual flirty self that Louis was used to seeing. Nonetheless, it felt like it was all building up between Louis and him as time went on. The tension and the anticipation for what was to come when this night would start to wind down. Louis felt shivers down his spine every time he thought about it. El would give him looks like she knew what he was thinking about and it was making her uncomfortable that he was thinking about it right there in front of everyone.

Somehow, with all the other stuff going on in his head, he hadn’t bothered to drink that much either. He’d taken two shots with everyone but was still holding it together. As he waited at the bar for his drink, he felt Harry before he saw him, his hand resting on the curve of Louis’ waist. Louis turned to look at him and found his green eyes looking down at Louis’ blue ones.

“Hi,” Harry smiled.

“Hi,” Louis replied, probably with a stupid smile on his face, too. “Having fun?”

He nodded, leaning in closer so they didn’t have to shout over the music. It was probably just an excuse to be closer, but no one had to know. “It’s fun. Having tons of fun.”

“Me, too,” Louis agreed. “I’m ready for cake.”

“There’s cake?” he asked, looking around the room for it.

“There’s cake,” Louis confirmed. “We ordered it from your favorite bakery, but the staff has it somewhere in the back, so it doesn’t get ruined.”

“Smart idea,” Harry noted. “Everyone’s trashed tonight.”

“Are you?”

Harry shook his head and Louis’d only then remembered that Harry’s hand was still on his waist, only because it moved towards his back so that Louis’ body was tilted towards him. Louis decided to be brave and placed his hand over Harry’s shoulder, hoping he’d get the hint. Harry smiled in response.

“Why not? It’s your birthday. Should be proper pissed, right?”

“I suppose,” he responded. “Had a few shots, but I’m okay. What about you?”

“I’m okay, too.”

“So,” he started. Louis hummed in response, asking for him to continue. “Earlier, the DJ started to play “Partition” and I just wondered whether or not that was a coincidence.”

Louis stared at him for a moment before laughing. “Harry,” he said. “What are you trying to say?”

“I’m just saying that I appreciate Beyoncé and that it couldn’t have been just a _coincidence_.”

“It wasn’t,” Louis said. “But everyone expected it, right?”

He nodded, his expression more somber. “Everyone expected it.”

“And you?”

“Yeah,” he confirmed. “I expected it, too.”

Louis smiled at him, watching as his lips quirked up in a smirk. There wasn’t anticipation or any build up to the kiss that followed, only because it just felt comfortable, like most things between Harry and Louis. Harry’s other hand came up to cup Louis’ jaw and tilt his head up to meet his lips better. Instead of the minty taste from before that came from the gum he was chewing, Harry’s lips were laced with a bit of vodka and something that was starting to taste familiar like Harry himself.

+++

There was more cake on Harry’s face than there was on the platter. After Liam had brought it out, Harry blew out his candles only to have Zayn push his face down into the frosting. The entire club was laughing and taking pictures as Harry lifted his face and shoved some onto Zayn’s face and then Liam’s, too, for good measure.

The party wound down after that and some people were already gone or passed out, having to be carried home, instead. Harry hadn’t left Louis’ side since they’d kissed by the bar. They’d shared a drink at the bar, intent on staying as sober as they could, and sat with their friends at their booth. They’d even danced a little, hips aligned and giggling into each other’s lips, Harry’s now tasting like icing.

When they all started to leave, Harry held Louis’ hand on the way out and smiled before bringing Louis in front of him and backing him up against a parked car. He kissed Louis deeply, lips parted and tongue immediately sliding in.

“Want to go home with me?” he murmured against Louis’ lips, hands stroking down Louis’ sides.

Louis nodded at him with hooded eyes and felt drunk from the taste of the alcohol in Harry’s mouth; felt drunk from having Harry’s attention like this. Harry took Louis’ hand in his again, entwining their fingers before leading him towards one of the empty cabs on the sidewalk. They were both trying hard not to laugh at their friends catcalling them from behind.

+++

The minute they stepped inside Harry’s bedroom, Harry slammed the door closed before pushing Louis against it. His lips found Louis’ immediately in a bruising kiss as he sucked Louis’ bottom lip between his. Louis let Harry’s hands roam down his body before he took Louis’ hands in his and raised them on either sides of his head. Harry pulled away from the kiss, looking down at Louis with dark pupils and ragged breaths, while entwining their fingers together.

“I’ve been waiting to get a taste of you since New Year’s night,” he whispered, dragging his lips across Louis’ cheek. “I didn’t think I was ever going to be able to kiss you again.”

It physically pained Louis to hear him say that. Not in a sad kind of way, but in a mourning kind of way that they could have been doing this since then had Louis not cocked it up by telling him he wanted to forget it. Because Louis wanted to kiss him, too. _God,_ he never wanted to stop. It just took him a lot longer to realize and that was the hardest part.

Louis kissed Harry again, tracing Harry’s lips with his tongue and biting on his plump bottom one, hard. Harry groaned against his mouth, moving forward so that their hips aligned and Louis could _feel_ how hard he was under his jeans and vice versa. He whimpered and rubbed against Harry to get some friction. Any friction, really. Harry’s hands let go of his, only to come down to Louis’ body, stroking over his waist to his bum. His fingers trailed back over to where the zipper of Louis’ pants was before looking at Louis for permission.

Louis nodded his head a few times, trying not to appear eager, but probably doing just that. It brought a laugh to his lips and Harry grinned, kissing him twice on the cheek before trailing soft pecks down to his neck. He unzipped Louis’ jeans and pushed them down before tugging his jumper off as well for good measure.  

It was cold in Harry’s room, a breeze coming from the crack in his window, but Louis felt fevered and hot, standing there in nothing but his soft pink knickers. Harry eyed him shamelessly, letting his eyes rake over every exposed inch of his body before looking back up at him again.

“Have I told you how gorgeous I think you are?” Harry asked, letting his fingers trail over Louis’ stomach, making the muscles tighten.

Louis nodded with a laugh. “You have, I think. Once or twice.”

“I could say it a million times and it still wouldn’t be enough,” Harry said, his fingers now tracing the hemline of Louis’ pants.

Being with Harry in an intimate way was still something new. This would be their second time, but Louis could probably be with him a million times more and it would still never suppress the amount of butterflies in his stomach or the chills down his spine. Harry just had that effect on him.

It felt ethereal the way Harry was looking at Louis, like he was the only boy he’d ever laid eyes on, which Louis knew wasn’t true. He just had a way of making anyone feel like the center of his world for however much time they were blessed with his attention. He was focused and gentle, pressing kisses on the corner of Louis’ mouth as he slipped his fingers past the hemline and covered Louis’ semi with his hand, making Louis moan in front of him. He watched Harry gulp, smirking as he gripped a little firmer, stroking upwards and spreading the precome that had dripped out.  

“Can’t wait to get my mouth on you,” he whispered, kissing the spot below Louis’ ear.

Louis let out an inaudible gasp at that, his eyes fluttering shut before leaning his head against his door again. “ _Harry_ ,” he breathed out.

“Mm,” he mumbled, his lips sucking on the place he’d kissed, intent on leaving a mark. Louis wrapped his arms around Harry’s shoulders, trying to hold still as his fist continued to pump his dick, making Louis feel euphoric all over.

When it all felt a little too much, too soon, Louis pushed him back gently enough to get him walking backwards, watching as Harry moved easily and pulled away to look at him. His hands slipped away and Louis was only upset a little bit because he knew he wanted to get Harry on that bed again. Louis smiled at him, cheekily, unbuttoning Harry’s shirt until he was met with the sight of his beautiful tattoos. The detailed butterfly on his stomach, the ferns on his hips, and the sparrows on his collar bones, to which he placed soft kisses while unbuttoning his jeans. When he got the zip down, he looked back up at Harry again, letting his hand slide in and grip his considerable length.

“Fuck,” Harry chuckled hoarsely as the back of his legs hit his bed.

Louis pumped him in his hands for a few moments until Harry stilled his hands and turned him around. Harry leaned forward and kissed Louis, guiding him down on the bed. Louis lied back down on his elbows, looking up at Harry and watching as he took off his shirt and pulled his jeans down. His cock’s outline bulged from his boxer briefs and Louis couldn’t peel his eyes off of it, so much so that he missed it when Harry moved down to slide them off as well. He grinned at Louis, moving towards the bed and pushing him further up towards the middle.

Harry kissed Louis again, sweet, soft kisses as his hands trailed down his body. He continued to kiss Louis down his chin and then his neck until he met his collar bones. Louis let out breathy moans as Harry pressed harder kisses there, sucking and licking on the skin while his hands moved down to squeeze at his hips. Harry stilled once he was happy with the amount of marks he’d left before looking up into Louis’ eyes again.

Harry kept steady eye contact, moving further down until he was just over Louis’ chest. He looked up at Louis longingly, his lips moving down to trail kisses across Louis’ chest. Louis instinctively curled his fingers through Harry’s hair, letting his body arch up a bit as Harry’s mouth pulled one of his nipples in. He rolled his tongue over the bud, sucking on it while one of his hands moved down to cup Louis’ balls, stroking and massaging them.

“Fuck,” Louis whimpered, slightly thrusting his hips up as heat bubbled to the pit of his stomach in another wave of arousal.

Harry pulled off with a pop, his lips curving into a smirk. “Impatient?” he asked.

“Fuck off,” Louis breathed out with a laugh. “You’re a tease.”

“No,” he laughed back. “You’re just impatient. Let me treat you right.”

“You do treat me right,” he argued, albeit in quiet whispers. “Just want you, Harry.”

He looked at Louis with what could only be read as fondness. His eyes were soft and gentle, which made Louis feel safe. He felt _comfortable_ being with Harry, something he hadn’t ever felt with another guy with whom he’d had sex with. It was almost always nerve wracking and a lot of fumbling around. With Harry it was different. Everything with Harry felt different, like they were on another level. Harry looked back down at Louis’ body and kissed his way down to his navel, pressing soft, fluttering kisses there, making Louis’ toes curl.

When Harry’s mouth ghosted over Louis’ cock, Louis lifted his hips up to allow Harry to slide off his lace pants and place them on the bed beside them. Harry gazed down at Louis for a moment, his fingers gripping his cock in his fist again before he leaned down and swiped his tongue over the head. Louis let out a shuddering, soft moan. Harry did it again, this time, pressing his tongue flat against the vein underneath and then wrapping his lips completely around the tip, sucking on it. Louis’ fingers pulled on his hair, both simultaneously trying to keep him there while also trying to keep still himself.

He breathed out raggedly as Harry took his time with bobbing his head up and down until he knew he couldn’t take it anymore. “Harry,” he choked out. He looked up at Louis immediately, his eyes glossy and dark emerald. Louis placed his hand on the crook of Harry’s neck, pulling him closer to him. He immediately moved over to meet Louis’ lips and kissed him back just as desperately as Louis felt. Louis let his hands glide down Harry’s abs, all soft skin and hard muscle.

“You’re so fucking good, Louis,” he whispered, kissing him everywhere he could reach.

Louis let his eyes shut, tilting his head to the side and letting Harry have his way. When Harry moved back to capture Louis’ lips again, he held Harry back, looking into his eyes. He looked beautiful, his lips puffy and a shade of dark, cherry red.

“How badly do you want to fuck me?” Louis asked him.

Harry looked at him like he thought Louis was joking by asking that. As if the answer was so _obvious_ that he didn’t need a vocal confirmation. “So bad, Lou,” he managed to chuckle out through breathy whispers, kissing him again. “Do you want me to fuck you?”

“Yeah, _please_ ,” Louis said, voice pleading and raspy.

“I’ll do that, yeah?” he said, leaning back on his haunches and rummaging through his bottom side drawer until he came back with two small packets in his hands. Louis watched him tear one, spreading the lube and warming it up on his fingers before circling Louis’ rim with his forefinger. Harry smiled at him through his lashes and kissed the soft skin of Louis’ hips, sucking on it while he pushed in his finger. One finger became two and then three, Harry scissoring them and opening Louis up until he was a quivering mess. He stopped, pulling his fingers out, and wiped them on the sheets. Louis watched him unwrap the condom and swiftly slide it onto his cock, positioning himself over him again.

Harry’s eyes were gentle and fond again, boring into Louis’ as he smiled, his dimple sinking in. Louis smiled back, a laugh escaping both of their lips as Harry leaned down until his forehead rested over Louis’, and then he pushed inside. For a moment, they both stilled, breathing heavily while staring at each other. Louis was trying to adjust to Harry’s size and also get over the dull pain since he hadn’t done this in a very _long_ time. When it subsided and he _needed_ Harry to move, he pecked Harry’s lips hard with a nod. Harry got the hint.

Harry pulled out slowly before thrusting back in, a bit faster and deeper. He continued to do so, their breaths labored as they held on to each other and tried to relish in everything about this moment because it was actually, finally happening. After a few slow, initial thrusts, Harry had picked up a rhythm that was quick and steady. The room was filled with the sound of the headboard hitting back on the wall and small moans that escaped their lips every so often.

They kissed, mostly. Their lips meeting, even for fleeting seconds, quick or lingering. Harry’s hands held Louis’ body down so that he wouldn’t slide up the bed and his head wouldn’t hit the headboard because of the quick pace. And it wasn’t scary, even though Louis knew there was no going back from this. Neither of them were drunk. They weren’t going to wake up the next morning and act like none of this meant anything to them because it _did_ mean something. It meant everything.  

Harry’s thrusts started to get shallower, his moans low and guttural. “You going to come for me?” he rasped.

“Yeah,” Louis replied with more of a moan than actual words because Harry had just hit his prostate.

“Do it,” Harry whispered, his hand moving down between them to wrap his fist around his dick. “Look so fucking pretty when you do. Love watching you.”

“Fuck.” Louis’ eyes squeezed shut as his body fell apart with the feeling of having Harry all over him. Harry was kissing down his neck, his fist was pumping him in his hand, and he was _inside of him_. Louis felt completely taken by him. Consumed and spent up in the best way possible. It only took a few more thrusts until Louis was coming apart and letting out a broken string of Harry’s name.

Harry looked at him with amazement, his eyes taking in the way Louis shook apart under him. He didn’t stop, however, pushing in and out of Louis at a much slower pace until he came as well, his face buried in the crook of Louis’ neck. They stayed like that afterwards, stilled and curled up against each other. Louis could feel Harry pressing kisses on his skin and wanted him to stay like that for as long as he could. Wanted Harry to be inside of him for as long as he could.

Unfortunately, Louis was a bit sensitive and Harry did eventually have to pull out of him and roll onto his side. He peeled off the condom and dropped it in his wastebasket before looking over at Louis. “That was the best birthday sex ever,” he said, making them both snicker before wearing a much more somber expression. “Took us long enough, though.”

The two of them stared at each for a moment before they smiled softly, cuddling up with each other again. “Yeah,” Louis agreed, settling against his chest. “Happy birthday, love.”

It didn’t matter how long it took them to get to this point, to stop pretending they didn’t feel _anything_ for each other. Sometimes in life, they had to face several obstacles before eventually getting to where they were meant to be. If Harry had to kiss other people and experience that bit of life before making his way to Louis, then Louis didn’t mind. As long as Louis was the one Harry was with in the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> watch out for my tumblr for next update date. it's normally sunday, but idk if i can make it but i will try! :) and also message/comment me to let me know ur thoughts!!! i'd love to talk to you guys about the fic. if any of you have drabble/pov requests/character asks, then feel free to send them my way :)  
>   
> [tumblr](http://quitefinishedlarry.tumblr.com/) / [fic page](http://quitefinishedlarry.tumblr.com/yail) / [chapter post](http://quitefinishedlarry.tumblr.com/post/138307744820/fic-you-are-in-love-author-wildestdreams)


	15. the one with mr. louis baker

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! i hope you enjoy this new, a little short, but fun installment to yail. this is my favorite part of the fic and i always feel nostalgic when i look through it just bc as i've said before, a lot of my own personal life is in this. i hope you enjoy it as much as me.  
>   
> if any of you have requests for drabbles/character asks/etc, feel free to pop by my tumblr and let me know!  
>   
> thank you [mac](http://realitybetterthanfiction.tumblr.com/) for editing :)

There was a brief five seconds after Louis woke up where his mind was a clean, blank slate. It felt good to have no immediate thoughts or feelings; felt good to just be. However, as his eyes started to adjust to the cerulean blue walls of the room and the bay window in front of him, he smiled. All his thoughts were suddenly filled with Harry. His touch, his smell and his presence. And all Louis could feel was content with the way Harry was plastered to his back, his hand curving over Louis’ stomach, stroking it softly.

Louis realized Harry was awake when he felt his steady heartbeat against his back and his hot breath fanning over his neck. Harry must have realized Louis’d just woken up, because a moment later, he pressed soft, warm kisses on his shoulder. Louis smiled again, pushing his face into the pillow when he felt a blush rise on his cheeks and felt around the bed until he found Harry’s hand, entwining their fingers.

“Morning,” Harry mumbled, voice deep from sleep as he pressed another kiss on Louis’ upper arm.

“Morning,” Louis said.

“Beat you to it this time,” he chuckled, head resting over my arm so he could look at Louis.

“Didn’t realize it was a competition,” Louis replied, jokingly.

Harry grinned at that. “It’s not,” he shrugged. “Just wanted to wake up before you.”

“Why’s that?” Louis asked, reaching over to brush a strand of Harry’s hair away from his eyes. Harry’s eyes fluttered shut for a moment and he smiled contently before looking at Louis again.

“So, that you wouldn’t leave again. Wanted to make sure I’d be here before you changed your mind,” he said like it was obvious.

Louis’ head and heart felt light. Not only from Harry’s words, but from his soft, morning expression and his careful vulnerability. He was afraid Louis’d wake up and convince himself to leave before Harry got a chance to say otherwise like he’d done all those weeks ago. That was the _last_ thing Louis wanted now. Back when they first hooked up, Louis was not only unsure of what Harry wanted, but he was _also_ unsure of how he felt. Now, Louis wasn’t confused about his feelings, in fact, he was _sure_ of them. And he even had an inkling of how Harry felt about him, albeit it was still just physical.

Louis smiled at him softly, tracing Harry’s eyebrows towards his puffy, sleepy eyes. Harry looked beautiful in the morning light that was creeping through his windows. His lips were chapped, a shade of light pink, and Louis wanted to kiss them again until they were bitten red and swollen. Instead, he traced them and watched Harry hum in approval. Everything about him was soft in the morning and Louis wondered how Harry could possibly think he’d want to leave and be anywhere but here to see him like this.  

“I wouldn’t leave,” Louis said to Harry adamantly.

“No?” Harry asked.

Louis shook his head, tracing Harry’s tattoos now with concentration. HIs forefinger grazed over Harry’s ship and down to the three nails before falling over his anatomical heart. Louis wanted to lie Harry down and kiss over every tattoo he had, especially his swallows because they were right above his heart.  

“Don’t want to forget it happened?” Harry asked, going for a joking tone, but Louis could tell it was a lot more genuine than that.

Louis giggled, shaking his head and smiling at him. “I couldn’t if I tried.”

Harry smiled back, gazing up at him. “I couldn’t either.”

Louis’ heart stuttered at that and before it could show on his face just how much Harry affected him with simple words, Louis composed himself.  “How long have you been up?”

“A while,” he replied. “Wanted to wake you, but didn’t have the heart to. Did you know that you snore when you sleep?”

Louis gaped at him, shocked that he said that out loud and called Louis out on it. “I do not,” he tried to deny, pouting at him.

“You do,” Harry said firmly. “You snore like a _baby_.”

“How does one snore like a baby?”

“They’re like little baby snores, not like dinosaur snores.”

“Oh my god.”

“Don’t be embarrassed or anything,” he said, as though he was doing Louis a favor. “It’s fine. I totally think it’s hot.”

“You’re a filthy liar,” Louis cried, laughing as he covered his face. Harry pulled Louis’ hands away, smiling at him with dimples and all. Louis shrugged after a moment. “I mean I’m not embarrassed.”

“Good, you shouldn’t be. Like I said, it’s hot. I dig it.” Harry took one of Louis’ hands in his again, playing with his fingers.

“What are your plans for the day?” Louis asked.

Harry chewed his bottom lip before responding. “Probably going to do some revision. Might see a movie with Zayn. You?”

“Revisions as well,” Louis replied. “I wish that wasn’t the case, though.”

“Yeah?” he asked, grinning cheekily. “You want to stay here?”

Louis hummed in response, aware of what Harry _really_ wanted him to say, but he decided he was going to be a shithead and fuck with him. “Yeah, your bed is _amazing_. Could sleep in it all day.”

Harry looked unamused and a giggle escaped Louis lips. “You’re funny,” he said flatly, but then he smirked knowingly, like Louis’ nonchalance wasn’t going to deter him. “I can think of a few other things this bed is good for.”

Louis bit his lip, watching as Harry looked back at him, his eyes tracing every feature on Louis’ face with a smile before he moved back up until they were face to face.

“Like what?” Louis gulped.

He smiled softly before curving his palm on Louis’ back and lifting him up slightly to capture his lips in a deep kiss. Louis kissed him back, slow and languid, as though they had all the time in the world. And it was staggering to him how _right_ it felt because it didn’t matter if they had morning breath or if he wasn’t looking his absolute best. They could kiss and have sex and be _more_ than what they were. It worked so well between them and happened so easily that he could hardly believe it himself.

Harry’s tongue swiped against Louis’ playfully before he sucked it in his mouth and Louis let out a soft moan, pushing his hips up until he felt how hard Harry was. He wasn’t going to be alone if the semi Louis was sporting had anything to do about it. Louis could feel Harry laugh against his mouth before pulling away. “I’ve had this all morning,” he said almost apologetically.

Louis giggled, kissing him softly again before moving one of his hands between them until he grasped Harry’s length. He pumped it a few times, slowly, watching his eyes flutter shut. “Aren’t you going to take care of it?” Louis asked, staring intently at Harry’s kiss swollen lips, the color of cherry red.

“I would have,” he replied, barely getting the words out without moaning. “Maybe have a cold shower.”

Louis smiled against his lips before kissing them again since it had _obviously_ been too long since he’d done so. “No need,” Louis whispered, pushing his now hard cock against Harry’s again. Harry smiled at him wickedly, his eyes darkening as he moved his hand to grasp one of Louis’ thighs before swinging it over his hips. Louis easily complied, letting Harry stroke his skin until he finally reached his upper thighs.

Harry wrapped his hand around Louis’ cock as well, watching the way his lips parted in an inaudible gasp, his fingers warm and gentle with friction. Harry was transfixed by Louis and the desperate way Louis responded to him. He bit his lips as his eyes locked with Louis’, pressing their chests together until their hearts beat against one another’s in the same frantic rhythm. Louis tilted his head back to meet Harry’s eyes and Harry searched them once before kissing him again, deep and slow. His fist continued to pump and rub over his tip, making Louis wet with precome and shuddering against him in need to come apart.

Louis couldn’t ever remember a time when he’d been so consumed by another person and that was exactly how it felt to be with Harry. Louis didn’t know whether or not he should have been paying more attention to the way Harry’s fingers slid off his cock and down to his rim, slipping inside easily after last night, or the way his mouth felt against Louis’, soft yet aggressive. Louis felt him all around; the way his long fingers stretched him open once again exactly the way Louis needed him to, the way his kisses always seemed better than any other kiss Louis’d ever shared with someone, or the way Harry’s heart raced against his.

When Harry pulled away, it was reluctant and left them both breathless and staring at each other with wide, desperate eyes. Harry gulped, searching Louis’ face for some sort of approval and when Louis kissed him again, soft and quick, Harry leaned back and pulled out another condom packet from his side table drawer. Louis watched him rip it open in record time, rolling it on before swinging Louis’ leg back up over his waist again.

Louis held on to his bicep, breathlessly, while Harry slowly pushed into him. He inched in slowly, bit by bit until he was completely inside. “Fuck,” Louis half rasped, half laughed, feeling him pull out before thrusting back in again.

“You okay?” Harry asked. “Feel good?”

“So good,” Louis nodded eagerly, curving one of his hands to the crook of Harry’s neck, pulling him down to kiss him, while the other gripped on to Harry’s back.

Harry kissed Louis back, his lips soft and pliant, while keeping up a steady pace of thrusting in and out of him. It was a lot slower than the night before, but it didn’t feel any less amazing. And it scared Louis that the only thoughts going through his mind were _always good_ and _wanna do this forever_. Louis couldn’t remember ever having those thoughts about a boy while having sex with them. He couldn’t remember ever loving the taste of someone else’s mouth the way he did Harry’s. He was intoxicating and always just _so fucking good_.

And Louis thought about the fact that this was the second time they were doing this within the span of twenty-four hours. Did Harry do that? Did he bring people over and let them stay the night and go for another round in the morning? His thoughts wandered back to the first time they hooked up when he’d bumped into Niall, who had told Louis that Harry never let anyone sleepover, but he let Louis. He let _Louis_ sleepover twice and they were having sex again on this dreary February morning and Louis wondered if it could get any better than this. If he could ever tire of hearing Harry breathing and moaning out his name in his ear because Louis wanted to stain Harry’s lips with his name. So, that even if this was it for them, the taste of Louis’ name wouldn’t leave him and anyone Harry got with in the future would know that Louis had laid claim first.

The idea of it spurred Louis on furthermore and he met Harry’s thrusts, matching the pace he set. Harry groaned into his mouth, speeding up his movements, and Louis only then realized Harry had a hand over his bum, squeezing it between his palms every time he thrusted into him.

“Wanna come with you,” he whispered, going in for a kiss, but missing it and landing on Louis’ chin instead.

Louis nodded his head in agreement and Harry flipped them so that Louis was lying on his back while he was between Louis’ legs. He leaned down, kissing Louis’ neck and trying to suck marks while Louis’ fingers grasped onto Harry’s back because his quick and deep thrusts were not slowing down and Louis was _so_ close. It was only when Louis felt Harry bite over one of the marks he left that Louis felt myself coming, just as hard as he did the night before. Harry followed suit right away, letting out deep moans and breaths into Louis’ neck.

As they came down from the high, Harry lifted his head up, nosing against Louis’ cheek. Louis turned his face, searching for his lips until they found it and they kissed, something neither of them were tiring of.

+++

Harry pulled over in front of Louis’ flat and put the gearshift into park before looking at him. Louis gathered his small bag, which contained his clothes from last night, because Harry had insisted he change into some of his clothes. “Thanks for the lift,” Louis said, meeting his eyes.

Harry looked at him with fond eyes, a small smile on his lips. “No problem,” he said quietly, like he was sad, which wasn’t far from what Louis was feeling. “I’ll see you later.”

“Yeah, later,” Louis agreed. They both sat there quietly, smiling at each other until Harry just laughed, leaning forward to kiss Louis. Louis angled his head to fit their lips better and entangled his fingers in Harry’s long, curly hair, just trying to get that one last taste before he had to say goodbye. It was a long kiss and it seemed even Harry was reluctant to let go.

After their nice little morning wake up call, the two of them had unwillingly gotten out of bed and showered, sadly separately. When they finally stepped out of Harry’s room, they found Niall and Barbara passed out on the couch, also freshly showered and with their breakfast plates on the table. It seemed they’d gotten up and had eaten before deciding to take a little nap together. Louis was cooing at them for at least five minutes until Harry pulled him away and asked if he needed a lift home.

Louis’d agreed of course. A bit hard to not do so when Harry was standing there in front of him with long, red scratches down his back and red, swollen lips from their kissing. Mostly, though, Louis didn’t want to leave him or say goodbye, solely because Louis wasn’t sure what was going to happen after this. Where did they go from here? What was different about hooking up with Harry last night as opposed to a month ago was that they didn’t wake up kissing each other and eager for round two. They’d sort of just walked away from it as though nothing happened. It gave Louis a sense of hope as they kissed goodbye in his car that maybe they wouldn’t go back to how things were before. Maybe something would change this time.

They both pulled away, breathless with slick, puffy lips. “I’ll see you,” Harry whispered to Louis once more. His voice sent chills down Louis’ spine and had his stomach fluttering. Louis could swear his cheeks were heating up and he wondered when boys, specifically _this boy_ , started having such an effect on him. It hadn't happened in years, let alone like this.

Louis nodded his head with a smile before finally getting out of Harry’s car and walking up to his front door. He turned to give Harry one last wave before going in. When he walked into his flat, El was in the living room with her feet up on the table and all her notes and school books lying around her. She turned to look at Louis and smiled so wide, he thought her face would break.

“Have a good night?” she hummed.

Louis nodded his head, smiling as he toed off his shoes and walked towards her. “And morning.”

“Nice,” she said with a tone of approval before narrowing her eyes in on him. “Are those Harry’s clothes? And _bloody hell_ , look at that love bite. He’s _savage_.”

Louis grinned, looking down his body at the too big joggers and white t-shirt that he was wearing. “He lent it to me so I didn’t have to wear my clothes from last night again. Proper thoughtful and all.”

“What a guy,” El applauded slowly. “Tell me details. I _want_ details.”

“Well, we had sex,” Louis responded coolly, sitting down beside her on the sofa. “And it was probably the best sex I’ve ever had. Hands down.”

“That’s good,” she nodded her head, excitedly. “Makes sense, too. You two are so in sync together.”

“I know,” he agreed with a shy smile. “And--I don’t know, El. He was just great. We woke up and did it again, which, I wasn’t expecting, to be honest. Wasn’t expecting it to be this good.”

“I’m happy for you,” she smiled, genuinely. “You deserve it. Was he good in bed?”

Louis nodded eagerly. “ _So_ good, El. Like, you can just look at him and tell he’d be good in bed, but shit. It lived up to my expectations and more.”

“Good!” El laughed. “I’m so happy you two are _finally_ together. Honestly, I had a feeling something would happen since you couldn’t stay away from each other at the club _and_ Harry looked like he wanted to take you from the moment he saw you last night, so no surprise there, I guess.”

Louis’ smile faltered slightly because he suddenly realized that Harry and he _hadn’t had_ a conversation about whether or not they were together. Last night they were too swept up with each other to even form coherent words and then this morning they’d just sort of talked casually and had sex again, but other than that, there were no conversations regarding their _relationship_. And Louis didn’t want to say anything to El just yet, even though he never hid anything from her.

It was just that with his last boyfriend, he was such a mess after things ended that he swore not only to himself, but also to El, that he wouldn’t let boys toy with him anymore. He would ask for nothing but complete respect and clear signals instead of the usual mixed ones because often times boys did that. In their age and generation, it was easier to get involved in having friends with benefits and _fuck buddies_ than it was to have a proper relationship. It was easy to half ass your way through relationships and text your significant other that you wanted to break up rather than do it face to face _._

That was exactly what Louis’ ex did and it had taken him a while to get over it and realize that this had a lot to do with how people viewed themselves. Whether or not they thought they were worthy for something better or if _this was as good as it was going to get_. Louis’d grown since then and he knew what he deserved and what he didn’t. However, Harry was different than just any other guy. He was one of Louis’ _best friends_ and Louis knew Harry wouldn’t treat him badly. He just needed to let this play out and see where it went. He didn’t want to scare Harry off by asking him such loaded questions the day after they hooked up. And if El thought otherwise about their relationship for the time being, then no one had to know.

“Right,” Louis smiled again, responding back to her, deciding to go for a topic change. “How was your night? Have fun?”

“Yeah,” she said. “Got _really_ drunk. Had a hangover this morning, too, but got coffee, some meds, and a good fry up that helped. And just been revising since then.”

“What about Max?” Louis asked her. “Did he have fun?”

“He did,” she confirmed. “The other boys made him feel very welcome and he got on with everyone, which I liked because if he gets on with my mates, then he’s a keeper. Plus, he asked me on a date.”

Louis widened his eyes at her and smiled. While it wasn’t surprising that Max was interested in El since he showed several signs of it last night with the way he looked at her and tried to make her laugh the entire time, Louis was surprised El was so relaxed about it. He knew she valued his friendship and if she really was having a bit of an issue with that girl she kissed a few weeks back, Louis wasn’t sure how she’d feel about Max asking her out. It also seemed that as soon as she let Max into her life again, she’d forgotten all about her sexuality crisis, even though it had been bothering her for ages.

“He did?” Louis asked.

She nodded calmly. “I said yes. I think we’re going bowling or something next weekend, which should be fun.”

“Yeah,” he breathed out a laugh, albeit unsure and confused. “Should be.”

“What are your plans for the rest of the day?” she asked, changing the topic herself.

“Umm,” he mumbled, running a hand through his hair (which smelled like Harry). He kind of just wanted to lie around in Harry’s clothes (which also smelled like him) and think about their night over and over again, but he knew he couldn’t waste time like that. Louis had uni and he couldn’t fuck about just because he’d spent the past twelve hours shagging an attractive boy. He had work to do. “Think I’m going to do revision. Maybe order in take away later?”

“Sounds good,” she agreed. “Pizza?”

“Perfect,” Louis replied, standing up. El waved him off as he walked into his room and plopped down on his bed.

+++

Louis did end up lying around in bed, letting Harry’s smell intoxicate him while thinking about their night (and day) together, but he got down to business an hour later, which was as good as he could have hoped for.

+++

 

Harry had Louis backed up against a row of gym lockers, one hand placed firmly on the lockers beside his head and the other curved around his waist, so that Louis was angled towards him while Harry’s mouth was pressed firmly against his. His tongue swiped over Louis’ lower lip before parting them and dipping in. Louis’ hands grappled onto his hair, running through his curly, wet strands and trying to keep upright but barely managing it. It was just that Harry smelled like soap and that _delicious_ apple shampoo that he always used and everything about him was just so soft and clean.

It was late after footie practice. Harry always stayed back to run some extra drills because he still struggled to play as well as the others and he’d asked Louis to come see him once he was done. Louis’d met him by the locker rooms and Harry pulled him inside, freshly showered and tired from his day. He wasn’t tired enough to not kiss the life out of Louis, though. It was the first thing he did as soon as he saw Louis after whispering _hello_ and _i missed you_ into his ear.

After last weekend, Harry and Louis saw each other only briefly around school, exchanging chummy hugs and quick kisses on the cheek before departing. Then on Wednesday night, they had all met up to have dinner at a new Hibachi place that opened up. The entire time Harry and Louis had laughed and been absolute nuisances, sword fighting with their chopsticks and overplaying their reactions to the cook, which he greatly appreciated. It was fun and Louis was happy that that aspect of their friendship hadn’t changed even though the physical part had.

They didn’t really get any chances to be alone together until now. Louis hardly ever came by to see Harry after his practices because his classes ended much earlier, so he would always leave campus. So, when Harry texted him to come by, his self control was next to none and he’d immediately said yes. And he was glad he did because Louis got to see Harry and kiss him again until his lips were numb and he could barely feel their kisses, until his mouth started tasting like the watermelon gum Harry’d been chewing, too.

Louis breathed heavily once Harry pulled away, gasping for air and looking up at him through his lashes. Harry pressed soft, sporadic kisses to his lips, smiling at him. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“I’m glad, too,” Louis said, noticing what Harry was wearing for the first time since he’d gotten there, which was barely anything. He was in a pair of footie shorts, hanging low on his waist, with nothing on top. Louis appreciated it very much.  

“I almost didn’t ask you,” he admitted.

“Yeah? Why?” Louis asked, tracing the butterfly on Harry’s stomach, feeling Harry’s muscles clench under his fingers.

He laughed shortly, almost embarrassed. “Because I didn’t want you to see me all sweaty and smelly, so I skipped out earlier than usual and showered.”

Louis laughed, throwing his head back, and Harry leaned forward to take the chance to leave a line of kisses down his neck. He closed his eyes, feeling his stomach flutter from Harry’s kisses. “I like your hair right now. It’s luscious.”

Louis felt Harry snicker against his skin, lifting his head up so that they were eye to eye. “ _Luscious_?”

Louis nodded his head with an assuring smile. He ran his fingers through Harry’s hair again, tugging it at the end. Harry let out a deep, guttural moan, his eyes fluttering shut. Louis’ lips parted in surprise and he stared at him, lust taking over every inch of him. He pulled Harry in again, kissing him deeply, his tongue finding Harry’s easily as though they’d been doing this for years. Harry’s hands slipped under Louis’ shirt and he roamed his skin with his fingers before settling on his waist, squeezing the skin like he wanted to bruise it.

If it weren’t for the sound of the door opening, Louis was seriously considering letting Harry take him right there in a smelly boys locker room. They both pulled away, Harry’s forehead resting over Louis’ as he stared at him unabashedly.

“Styles.”

They both turned to see Kyle Baker, a third year, walking over towards them. He was on the footie team with Harry and had done shots with Louis once at an after party at the bar. Louis thought he was hot because he was really tall and worked the buzz cut really well, but had never gotten a chance to chat him up or make anything of it. Now that all seemed like kind of a moot point considering Louis still had his hands on an even more attractively fit footballer in front of him.

“Hey,” Harry said to him, reluctantly letting go of Louis and stepping back. “You good?”

“Yeah,” Kyle said, walking over to a locker a few feet away from them and unlocking it. “Just forgot a book I needed.” He turned to look at Louis then. “You doing alright, Louis?”

Louis nodded with a smile. “I’m alright.”

“Haven’t seen you around much,” Kyle said with a sad, exaggerated pout.

“I’ve been around. You probably didn’t notice,” Louis said, a playful smile on his lips.

“I think I’d notice if you were around,” he said, chuckling.

Louis bit his lip and shrugged at him. “You were good at that last game, by the way,” he told Kyle at last. “Never got a chance to tell you.”

Kyle chuckled, pulling his book out and closing his locker. “As long as I’m impressing you, I’m good.” Once closing his locker, he walked backwards, facing them even though his words were only for Louis. “I’ll see you around, then.”

Louis nodded at him in agreement. Kyle gave Harry, who was behind Louis, a nod before walking out of the locker rooms and leaving the two of them alone again. Louis turned back to Harry, who was standing in front of his own locker, and staring at him with this _look_.

“What?” Louis asked, crossing his arms.

“Nothing,” he shrugged with a smile as he rearranged his stuff in his locker for no reason.

Louis frowned at Harry’s curt response and sat down on the bench with his legs on either side. Harry’s school bag lay open in front of him and Louis poked through it, nosey and intrusive. All he saw were textbooks with words like _legal, law, court, case_. El had the same exact books and Louis actually read them now and then to test her. It was hard stuff.

“Alright,” Louis said, being just as passive aggressive as Harry was.

Harry paused for a moment. “Just didn’t want to intrude on your flirting.”

Louis scoffed, a bright, amused laugh escaping his lips. “You’re so stupid,” he exclaimed.

“I’m not stupid, _Mr. Louis Baker_ ,” Harry said trying to imitate him with an exaggerated high-pitched voice. "Has a nice ring to it, don't you think?"

“Fuck you,” Louis replied, throwing one of the pencils poking out of Harry’s bag at him.

Harry caught it swiftly. “Gladly,” he said smugly, pushing his bag away and sitting in front of Louis with his legs on either side of the bench to match him. Louis rolled his eyes and gave Harry a bored look like he was not getting to him. Harry laughed, pulling Louis closer by tugging on his thighs until they were resting over his.

“What are you doing?” Louis asked.

“I want to see something,” he said.

“What do you want to see?”

“I’ve heard that the pupil of your eye expands up to forty five percent when you look at someone you like,” he said.

A small, shy smile formed on Louis’ lips, one that he didn’t want Harry to see because it was so embarrassing how much he liked him. “Oh, so what are we checking for?” Louis asked, trying to rile Harry up.

Harry sighed loudly, like he was fed up with Louis not cooperating. “You know what.”

“I don’t,” Louis responded, airily.

“Oh my god,” Harry groaned, wrapping an arm around Louis’ waist so that Louis had nowhere to look but right at him. “Look into my eyes, okay?”

Louis giggled, biting his lip and nodding. He stared into Harry’s forest green eyes, noticing then how big his dark pupils were. Louis could tell Harry was staring into his as well and he wondered if Harry could see whether or not his pupils were dilated, too. Whether or not he could tell that Louis’ heart was beating out of his chest because this was the closest Harry had come to telling him that he felt the same. Harry had come into Louis’ life at a point where he was in a strange place, not wanting anyone new, not wanting to feel anything. And Louis wasn’t quite sure how it had happened, but Harry had just made a place for himself in Louis’ life and in his heart, so important and so honest, that Louis couldn’t have resisted if he tried. That was Harry, though. He was so charming and so captivating that he could get anyone he pleased just with the wink of an eye or a flash of his dimpled smile.

“Do you see it?” Harry asked, breathless and still holding Louis tight.

Louis nodded, feeling his throat dry up because they were looking at each other a little too long to be considered _just friends_. “Do you?” Louis asked.

Harry nodded, too, before closing the gap between their lips. Louis tugged one of Harry’s necklaces and pulled himself up so that he was closer and Harry grinned into the kiss, hand coming to rest over Louis’ bum. When he wouldn’t stop smiling into the kiss, Louis pulled away with a frown.

“What are you smiling about?” he asked, huffing out a breath.

Harry looked at Louis, his eyes wide and faux scared. “What ever would _Kyle_ think?” he asked. “We’re friends, Lou. He's my teammate.”

“Oh my god,” Louis groaned, punching Harry on the chest with his fist. “You’re so dumb. I literally want to kill you.”

Harry laughed, practically falling over, but keeping a steady hold on Louis so that he wouldn’t topple over. “Heeey,” he drawled out through his laugh. “That fucking hurt.”

“Good,” Louis said, sticking his tongue out. Harry grinned, still laughing as he tried to lean forward and bite at Louis’ tongue. Louis screamed, cowering in on him until Harry was holding him in a crushing hug. Louis rested his head over Harry’s shoulder, content on just being there, wondering whether or not he had any choice in the matter of being swept away by Harry.

It was treacherous, the road they were going down, and it was reckless the way they were doing it. But there was nothing anyone could say to convince Louis otherwise. He didn’t really have a choice after all. He wasn’t really sure he even wanted one.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next update should be sunday! but if anything, check out my tumblr :)  
>   
> [tumblr](http://quitefinishedlarry.tumblr.com/) / [fic page](http://quitefinishedlarry.tumblr.com/yail) / [chapter post](http://quitefinishedlarry.tumblr.com/post/138689639030/fic-you-are-in-love-author-wildestdreams)


	16. the one on valentine's day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a few things!!! i wanna say a big thanks to anyone who has been helping me out with the fic. [mac](http://realitybetterthanfiction.tumblr.com/) for being beta. susan for reblogging the fic post -- actually anyone who reblogs! and just everyone who has red/commented/messaged. :)  
>   
> secondly, i want to mention that i was considering changing this to only bottom louis, but a few people did say they'd like to mix it up, so i'll have a few (but not as many) bottom harry scenes as well.  
>   
> also, feel free to send me drabble/character asks requests on tumblr! :)

Louis’ feet were propped up on the dashboard of Harry’s car, seat reclined all the way back so he was lying down in a comfortable position with his coffee in hand, while Harry fiddled with his iPod dock by the stereo. Louis listened quietly as he switched from one song to another before settling on the new Imagine Dragons track. He placed the iPod down and picked up his own coffee to take a tentative sip since it was still hot. The heat was on low in the car and they were parked by the coffee shop with their coats off in the back of the car since the weather was getting _slightly_ better now that spring was slowly, but surely approaching. Harry had run into the shop, grabbed their coffees, and settled back in the car with Louis.

“This is nice,” Harry said after a while.

“What is?” Louis asked.

“This,” he replied, gesturing around with his hands. “We haven’t done this in a while. The whole late night coffee thing.”

“We did,” Louis grinned. “Like, last week.”

“Yeah, but it’s hardly like we used to,” Harry pointed out. “Remember back in the beginning when we’d come out _every night_ and end up being zombies the entire next day?”

Louis laughed, resting his head back on the headrest. “Yeah, I do. El would get so concerned. She’d always ask what was going on between us as if us just hanging out and talking was something so hard to believe.”

“Really?” Harry asked with a grin. Louis nodded his head in response and Harry laughed. “It’s not hard to believe. I mean we hang out and talk all the time. It’s what we have been doing from the start. We’re literally doing it right now.”

“Exactly,” he said, agreeing. Harry had a point. The two of them were really good at being just friends. They were good at being more, too, though. It was strange that Louis could have someone like that in his life because he’d only ever heard of other people talk about their significant others like that. Never thought he’d be lucky enough. However, it all seemed rather pointless if he couldn’t even be brave enough to tell Harry how he really felt about him.

Harry got a thoughtful, pensive look on his face before he looked over at Louis. “It’s been so long since our first coffee run,” he said. “That was, what, September? It’s _February_ now.”

“We’ve come a long way,” Louis smiled at him.

“We have,” he nodded. “Almost time for graduation. You ready?”

Louis nodded his head slowly. “I’ve been ready for graduation for a long time. Literally started this year and was ready for it to happen. I just want to get out there and start the real life, you know?”

Harry chuckled at him. “What? This isn’t real enough for you?”

“It is,” Louis said to him. “It’s just--I know there’s more out there. There’s more to life than school. Kind of bored of all that. I need something more to happen.”

“What more do you want?” Harry asked before he looked at him with a concerned expression. “Are you unhappy or something?”

“No,” he quickly shook his head, watching the way Harry looked relieved at that. “I’m not unhappy. It’s more like--I’m curious, really, about what comes after. Like, all I’ve known is school and the familiarity of my friends and the safety net of my family. What happens when I leave all that?”

Harry had a small smile on his lips as he listened to him. When Louis gave him a questioning look, Harry snapped out of it and cleared his throat before sipping his coffee. “That’s cool, I think,” he said. “That you’re ready for whatever is out there because I’m sure not.”

“You’re not excited?”

“I’m going to be doing the bar professional training course. I’m not quite done with the whole school life, am I?”

“Suppose not,” Louis shook his head, looking down at Harry’s iPod where the song changed to something by Shania Twain. Only Harry would have such diversity that he’d be listening to rock one minute and then Shania Twain of all people after that. Next to his iPod was his pack of gum, citrusy flavor, and some spare change he got when getting their coffees. “Law training should be fun.”

“I know, right?” Harry said, sarcastically. Louis looked back up at him and giggled, noticing the little curls peeking out from underneath his dark green beanie. “So, what are your plans then? After graduation, I mean.”

“I have no idea,” Louis replied honestly. “Like, my parents want me to do my masters, but that’s more school, which _no thanks_. I kind of want a job, but I have no idea what I want to do with my degree yet either so I wouldn’t know what to go for. I don’t even know if I’ll have the flat anymore. I mean El hasn’t decided where she’s going to be doing her bar exam training yet and she might move. I can’t afford our place on my own. I’m kind of all over the place, to be honest.”

“Guess you’ve got some decisions to make.”

“I do. And I think that could be the fun of it, not knowing what’s next or how it’ll all be because starting out this year, I was just really bored with my life. It had become monotonous. Nothing significant was happening for me.”

Harry looked offended as he frowned at Louis, making him laugh. “What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked. “We aren’t exciting enough for you?”

“I thought all this before I met you lot,” Louis said. “I didn’t expect to find a whole new friend group when I entered this school. But even then, I can’t rely on you guys when all of this is over because you have your own plans after graduation and that’s fine. I just have to find mine.”

Harry smiled softly, looking down at his steering wheel. “Aren’t you ever scared that it won’t turn out the way you want it to?”

Louis shook his head slowly mostly because he’d never thought about it. “I mean, I don’t have specific expectations, so I don’t think so.”

“None at all?”

“Not really, no,” Louis shook his head again. “Do you?”

“Kind of,” he said. “I don’t let myself think about it often, though. I kind of just try to live in the moment as much as I can and see where it all leads me.”

“How very zen of you,” Louis teased him with a smirk.

Harry grinned at that. “Alright. So no expectations and no plans. What the fuck are you going to do then? You won’t properly say.”

Louis laughed, pulling his legs against his chest. “I’m kind of hoping that once summer rolls around, I can use that time to figure it out. Like, how adulthood works because I don’t fucking know.”

“That’s fair,” Harry commented. “It’s not easy. Trust me, I know.”

Louis hummed in response and they were back to being quiet, sipping their coffee and listening to a Chvrches song on low. When Harry broke the silence again it was to ask Louis what he thought Niall and Barbara would name their kids when they had some because it was obvious they would. They went back and forth on that and then debated over who would get married first: Niall and Barbara or Ed and Taylor. It was riveting and there came a point when Harry and Louis were seriously fighting and they were both screaming, “friendship over,” to the other until they burst out laughing. Once their coffees were finished, Harry stepped out of the car to trash the cups and he smiled when he got out.

“What is it?” Louis asked him, rolling his eyes at Harry’s attire. He was in old gray joggers and a white Kiss shirt that had HOT ‘N HARD written on the back with the sleeves pinned up against his shoulders.

“It’s really fucking nice out. There’s no wind or anything. What the fuck?”

“Spring is coming,” Louis cheered, throwing his fist in the air with dramatic flourish and getting out of the car himself.

“About time,” Harry said, walking over from where he’d thrown out the cups. “Winter was fucking dragging on and I’m so done with the snow.”

“Still a few weeks to go, though. Shit, innit?”

Harry nodded before his eyes brightened and he grinned at Louis. “I’ve got an idea.” Louis looked at him curiously, leaning against the side of his car as he walked closer. “Get on top of the hood of the car.” Louis raised his eyebrows in confusion, but did as Harry said and watched as Harry got inside of the car and turned up the volume of the music before coming back and sitting beside him.

“What are we doing?” Louis asked.

“We’re going to watch the sun rise and listen to music,” Harry replied, as enthusiastically as if he’d figured out the secret to life or something.  

Louis laughed, looking away from him towards the sky where the color was transitioning from dark blue to a lighter shade.

“Where do you come up with this stuff? I feel like we’re in a Nicholas Sparks film, but an indie version of it because you’ve got Arctic Monkeys on and not some emotional, overplayed tune from the radio that’d we’d get sick of hearing because the adverts just won’t stop playing.”

“Heeey,” he said, trying his best to sound offended. “Don’t mock my _aesthetic_.”

“Alright,” Louis rolled his eyes, snickering and mouthing aesthetic to himself. They sat there, talking here and there about absolutely nothing as they watched the sun slowly rise. It was pretty and rather nice with the mix Harry had streaming until “Juliet” by LMNT of all songs came on. Louis frowned and looked over at Harry, cracking up at his flushed expression and guilty smile. “What the fuck?”

“This song is a classic,” he said, his tone defensive and hysterical. “I couldn’t take it off my iPod. I couldn’t bear it.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Louis said. “I didn’t realize you loved pop music from 2002 so much.”

“You’re horrible,” Harry said, getting up and standing back on his feet again. “Literally so horrible. I hate you. We’re never doing this again. Friendship is so over.”

That only made Louis laugh harder and he wasn’t hiding it. “It’s been thirteen years, Harry. Don’t you think it’s time to let go?”

“No,” he shook his head defiantly before standing in front of Louis with a huge grin on his face and belting out the lyrics of the song. “ _Cause I know that you really want me. I hear your friends talk about me. So, why you trying to do without me when you got me where you want me?”_

Louis laughed with his head thrown back and tears in his eyes, only to slide down the hood of the car till his feet were dangling off the edge and begin to sing along with Harry.

“ _I think you’re fine, you really blow my mind. Maybe someday, you and me could run away. I just want you to know, I wanna be your Romeo. Hey Juliet. Hey Juliet!”_

They were both in tears by the end of the chorus and into the second verse. Harry smiled up at Louis through wet lashes and walked up to him until he was stood between his legs. His eyes locked with Louis’ and his hands moved down to either side of him until he was gripping his thighs in his hands to wrap them around his waist. Louis let out a nervous giggle because Harry’s gaze was so intense, it was almost unnerving and he just wanted Harry to kiss him already because he looked like he wanted to. Harry got this strange and quite sexy look in his eye and Louis wanted him to look at him like that all the time. When he finally did kiss him, he lied Louis down back on the hood of the car, hovering over him and pinning him down.

Their lips touched, harshly and softly all at once, tongues swiping out and meeting in the middle. After a few minutes, when the song was nearing the end, Harry pulled away, only to place chaste kisses down Louis’ cheek until he was singing the last few words in hushed whispers in his ear, making him laugh again underneath him.

+++

Harry dropped Louis off home after they’d made out on the hood of his car for twenty minutes in broad daylight. They were reluctant to part, despite having spent the entire night together, and saying goodbye was hard to say the least. Harry had a hand on the back of Louis’ head, not letting him go, and kept placing these lovely kisses on his face, which had Louis wanting to stay in his car with him forever. When Harry finally let go, Louis’d gotten out and pouted as he walked into his flat complex.  

Louis had only just walked through his front door for two minutes, slipping out of his shoes before quietly walking into his bedroom because he knew El had still not gotten up. That was when he heard the rapping at the door and frowned because they had a doorbell, but then again it was nearing six in the morning. No sane uni student in this complex would be mad enough to be up at this time to knock at someone else’s. Then he wondered if it was Harry and he’d forgotten something. Louis walked over, giddy to see him again, and unlocked it.

Harry was panting heavily on the other side of the door, one of his arms resting over the frame as though he’d ran the entire five flights up and needed help to hold himself up. Just as Louis was about to say something, Harry moved forward and his lips crashed onto Louis’, pushing the two of them back into his flat. Louis fisted Harry’s t-shirt right away and pulled him closer to him while Harry’s hands wrapped around his waist and squeezed down to his bum. It was hard and bruising, the kiss, and Louis could feel it all coming down to _this_.

The fact that they could sit around and hang out like they used to all they wanted. They could sing songs and dance and talk about everything just like they’d always done. However, the sexual attraction and tension between them was so strong that it was almost maddening to just ignore it and go on without doing anything about it anymore. There was always this insatiable want and need constantly between them.

When Harry pulled away, he looked at Louis for a long moment, just drinking in what Louis assumed were his swollen lips and messy, brown hair before closing the door behind him and pulling Louis towards his bedroom. Louis giggled as Harry pulled off his beanie and clumsily tripped out of his shoes.

“You’re an absolute klutz,” Louis told him.

“Pipe down, Tomlinson,” Harry said with a smirk on his lips once they walked into Louis’  room. Louis closed the door behind them before looking over at Harry. He had pulled off his t-shirt and was in the process of pulling off his joggers as well. He looked up at Louis when he caught him staring. “Stop staring and take those off.” He gestured towards Louis’ joggers and blue jumper.

Louis pulled them off slowly, only to have Harry get impatient and do it for him, crushing his lips against Louis’ again. Harry quickly backed him up against the wall, hands roaming down his torso until they caught Louis’ thighs and lifted them up until Louis wound them around his waist. Harry pulled away from their kiss only to trail kisses down Louis’ neck all the way to his collarbones, sucking on the skin there until he was sure it was big and red enough for his liking.

"I think I'm going mad," Harry said, looking up at Louis with glistening lips and dark eyes. He let out a shaky laugh when Louis didn't respond, moving back up to kiss him on the lips. "Do you have any idea what you are fucking doing to me?"

Louis couldn't say anything again because Harry licked a stripe down his chest, catching his nipple between his teeth, causing Louis to gasp out loud. He felt like Harry’s mouth and hands were everywhere at once, not knowing where he really wanted to stop or end. And while Louis couldn’t find the courage to tell Harry how he really felt about him, he hoped Harry could feel it with the way Louis was shaking in his arms and the way his heart was thudding in his chest.

After Harry pulled Louis into another mind blowing kiss on the lips, he pulled the two of them away from the wall only to lie Louis down on the bed and grab the bottle of lube Louis kept in his side table drawer. Harry made quick work in opening him up, his desperation to get right to it showing as his fingers scissored past Louis’ rim and stretched him. He fumbled as he got out the condom from the pocket of his joggers, which were discarded on the floor. When he rolled it on, Louis expected him to push straight in, but instead, Harry hovered over him for a moment, the two of them practically hanging off the edge of Louis’ bed. Harry kissed Louis’ lips softly, a harsh contrast to how things had been going before. He pulled Louis’ bottom lip with his teeth and tugged at it before fixing him with a look of desperation.

"I want to fuck you so much, Louis," he whispered. "Wanna fuck you all the time, every day, every second."

“Yeah,” Louis breathed out with a nod as he caught Harry’s cross necklace that was dangling down and pulled them together before wrapping his legs around Harry’s waist again. “Fuck me, please.”

If Louis couldn't have him now, he felt like he wouldn't be able to breathe and he’d be suspended in this lustful haze Harry always kept him under just by looking at or touching him a certain way. And when Harry finally pushed in and set a hard, rough rhythm, Louis couldn't help but feel Harry’s own desperation through his movements. Harry’d only gotten like this once or twice before, but it was so fucking hot. And it told Louis that maybe Harry felt how Louis did at times, too. As if Harry felt the same way and was showing him that through sex because he was scared to say it out loud, too.

+++

Harry and Louis tried to be as quiet as they could while walking out of Louis’ room once Harry'd gotten dressed. It was nearing ten in the morning and they managed to get a full three hours of blissful post sex sleep before Harry had to get up for his class. Louis was tired and groggy, wearing nothing except for a pair of his pants and his t-shirt from three days ago that he’d found lying around by the bed.

"Got everything?" Louis asked, following Harry out.

"Yeah," Harry replied, his voice gruff and deep from sleep.

When they made it to the front door, Harry turned to give Louis a kiss goodbye and just as he was about to do it, Louis noticed El standing in the kitchen, watching them with a soft frown. "El," he said, slowly. Harry turned around to look as well and gave her a wave.

"Hey El," he said. “Morning.”  

She pursed her lips, assessing the two of them standing there, sleep ruffled and probably with huge bags under their eyes. Not to mention, Louis had big, sore thumb bruises on his thighs from Harry's tight hold earlier. She raised an eyebrow before saying, "Remember when you two used to have little sleepovers and I'd walk in unaware of the idea that you were here and you'd tease me and act like something happened when it really didn't?"

Harry nodded with a jovial grin. "Yeah, t'was funny. Good times."

El laughed humorlessly. "Yeah, not so much this morning when something _did_ happen and I was woken up at six in the morning because of loud moans and something banging on the wall."

Louis flinched, feeling every inch of himself flush as he shuffled back till Harry was hiding him from view. He looked just as uncomfortable and Louis wondered if El really was mad or just teasing. Either way, Louis wanted to crawl back into his bed and sleep some more and be anywhere but here. At least until the embarrassment wore off.

Harry cleared his throat, shakily. "Uh, sorry about that."

She eyed the two of them for a moment before replying. "I'll forgive you this time, however, I'd appreciate it if you did it at normal hours of the day and also, get that sex music while you're at it. I'd rather listen to your obscure choice in music rather than Louis screaming your name."

"Duly noted," Harry said with a two-fingered salute. El finally smiled and sipped the coffee in her hand. Harry turned to look at Louis again and gave him a quick, soft kiss before seeing himself out.

Louis looked at El once Harry was gone and smiled sheepishly. "Uh, I'm just gonna go back to bed. Didn't sleep much."

"Oh, trust me," she said sarcastically. "I know."

+++

Phi Sigma Rho girls were having a Valentine’s Day themed mixer at their sorority house with Theta Chi on the fourteenth itself. It was exclusive to just the sorority sisters and the frat brothers, meaning no one outside of it could come. And the whole thing kind of peeved Louis because it was _Valentine’s Day_. It was so obvious this sorority chose the hottest frat on campus to have a mixer with on that day because they figured they could all get some. Louis knew all the boys except for Niall and Ed were going and while Harry and he hadn’t had a solid conversation about what they were, Louis couldn’t help but feel a little annoyed that he was going off to some sorority mixer on that particular day. Louis knew Harry wasn’t his _boyfriend_ , but on the other hand he wasn’t _just a friend_ , either. Their relationship somehow stretched between just friends to more than just friends and it all depended upon where they were and who was around.

And Louis trusted Harry, he really did, but as the week wore on and they got closer to February fourteenth, Louis couldn’t help but feel frustrated at not only Harry, but himself, too, for never bringing up the topic of exclusivity. Were they or were they not? Louis didn’t know whether Harry thought of him as just one of the many people he slept with or if they were something more. A part of Louis was scared that since he had been the one that convinced Harry to start his series of casual hook ups, Harry probably thought it was fine to continue doing so and that that Louis only wanted casual, too. Casual sex and nothing more.

The only difference, really, was that Louis was one of his best mates. Harry couldn’t sleep with him and then choose not to hit him up the day after if he wanted. They hung out all the time, in groups or just alone, and even in those times they kissed freely and touched obsessively and stared at each other like they never wanted to stop. Because of things like that, Louis had faith in whatever _this_ was. However, with this mixer coming up, Louis could feel his faith faltering and his hope dampening.

The day before Valentine’s Day, he was sat in the school library doing an assignment when El plopped down in front of him.

“Hi,” she smiled, passing a cup of tea and doughnut towards Louis.

“For me?” Louis asked gesturing towards the food.

She nodded. “Was down at Cuppa and thought I’d get you something.”

“Thank you,” Louis smiled, taking a bite of the doughnut and letting the tea cool in front of him. “And hi to you, too. Haven’t seen you all day.”

“I know,” she said, settling down with her books. “I left early for class and had things to do on campus. How’s the assignment going?”

“Nearly done,” he replied. “Glad I’m getting rid of this now because I want to get drunk tomorrow. Like super drunk and watch a marathon of horror films.”

“Haven’t you got plans with Harry?” she asked, raising her eyebrow curiously.

Louis froze slightly, suddenly remembering that she thought they were a couple. It would make sense for them to have plans if they were a couple, but they weren’t and they didn’t and Louis had no idea how to tell her that. It was kind of embarrassing. When the silence stretched out too long and El looked suspicious, Louis shook his head slowly.

“They’ve got that mixer thing, right? He’s going to that because some shit about frat brotherhood and sticking together,” Louis said as casually as he could. “Besides, you know I’m not the conventional type. I see him all the time and wouldn’t single us out on one particular day just because everyone else is coupled up. It’s chill.”

El let out a laugh, which sounded more like a ridiculous scoff. “I would know,” she said and Louis blushed, thinking about the last time she’d heard them going at it. “Well, anyways, we’re going to that mixer.”

Louis frowned at her, confused and surprised. “We can’t,” he reminded her. “It’s exclusive to that sorority and their frat.”

“Well, I got us in,” she said. “I know Georgia Thorpe and she’s a sister in that sorority said she’d let us in.”

“Oh,” Louis said, a bit taken aback now that El and him were actually going to have plans other than what he was proposing. It wasn’t surprising that El knew a member of that sorority because she knew everyone on campus. El was involved in several things and since she was around for classes or whatever, she ended up being friends with everyone. It was intimidating sometimes.

Louis bit his lip, wondering if it would be fun to go. This entire time, he’d pictured the mixer being full of beautiful girls all making moves on Harry and had been torturing himself with the images in his head. And now, there was the option of going and actually seeing it happen in front of him. He wasn’t sure if he was ready for that. Louis looked back up at El, wary and tentative. “Do you really want to go? We could stay home and get drunk like I said. Watch, like, _The Exorcist_ or something. Very fun Valentine’s plans, don’t you think?”

El looked confused. “Don’t you wanna go?” she asked. Louis shrugged in response because he honestly didn’t know. He didn’t want to be there to witness Harry getting with some other girl. He wasn’t sure if he could handle it. El frowned slightly, putting her hand over Louis’ on the table with a concerned expression. “Is everything alright?”

“It’s fine,” Louis assured her quickly. “It’s just--it’ll just be us and a bunch of girls that I don’t know.”

“Yeah,” she nodded. “I mean I invited Taylor, but she said that her and Ed had plans all day and you know Barbara and Niall are staying home. Think of it this way, it’ll be the boys you spend every weekend with so it’s not that bad.”

El had a point there. It just felt weird because Harry only mentioned the mixer in passing and a part of Louis wondered if that was because he didn’t want Louis there. Then again, it wasn’t like Louis could go. Until now, that was.

“Are you done contemplating whether we’re going or not?” El asked. “Because I really want to go. It’ll be fun because their theme is so much more fun than what the boys usually do.”

“They have a theme?”

El nodded with a huge grin on her face. “Cupid’s Arrow,” she said. “Georgia told me there will be hearts everywhere, the whole place will be decked out in Valentine’s color schemes and such. People are dressing up. How fun does that sound?”

Louis made a face, scrunching up his nose like he was turned off by that even though he knew at this point he had no choice. He’d go for El, if anything, because she’d make him. Sure enough, she pouted at him and Louis sighed, leaning back against his chair. “If we must,” he said.

El clapped, excitedly before talking a mile a minute about where to get their costumes and what her ideas were for the both of them. Meanwhile, his mind was stuck on how this mixer would end when Harry found out he was going after all.

+++

The outside of Phi Sigma Rho was bathed with bright pink and red spotlights. They had similarly colored balloons hung up on the way into the house and everywhere Louis turned girls were dressed up in colorful outfits with hearts on them. Some of them even went as far as wearing bright red hearts to cover their nipples with a skirt below. It was pretty wild, but well organized.

El had chosen to wear a queen of hearts costume with black leather boots as well as a crown. She made Louis dress up as cupid, which wasn’t so bad, but it was cold considering he was only in a pair of boxers with hearts on them. What pulled his costume together was the white wings on his back and the bow and arrows he held in his hands.

When they walked inside after El’s friend Georgia let them through, Louis could already feel himself being happy over the fact that he ended up coming because it was so much cleaner and better decorated than the boys’ frat. The place was just as bright and colorful as El had said it’d be, but there was more. Like heart shaped sugar cookies and all these types of finger foods and candy that he wanted to devour as soon as he got the chance. Whenever the boys had parties, they’d only supply beer. _Never_ snacks.

“What do you want to do?” El asked Louis over the loud bass of the new Zedd track playing.

“Eat,” Louis replied, pointing childishly towards the table with his bow.

El laughed, her brown curls bouncing. “Don’t you think we should go see if we can find the boys?”

“If you want,” Louis shrugged. “I don’t mind.” He looked around the room, wondering if anyone could tell they were basically crashing their mixer, but no one seemed to notice as of yet. Everyone looked unfamiliar and Louis wondered if the food was going to be the only good thing about this party. That was when he spotted Zayn going into one of the rooms and nudged El. She looked over and started pulling his hand towards Zayn’s direction.

Louis let her lead him into the room, but not before quickly grabbing a red cookie off the table and taking a huge bite of it. Upon entering, he realized all the boys from the frat, or at least the ones they knew, were gathered there. It was sort of a den/rec room of the sorority and they’d set up a table filled with all kinds of drinks next to a big punch bowl that held some pink concoction in it. All the boys were in there talking, drinking and playing with the foosball table they had.

But once El and Louis walked in, they all looked up and grinned in surprise, talking loudly and all at once over the music. “What are you doing here?” Zayn asked, walking over and giving them both kisses before he took in their outfits and laughed. “Sick. You guys look amazing.”

“Thanks,” El grinned, looking down at hers proudly. “I know Georgia Thorpe and she said we could come.”

“Bless Georgia Thorpe,” Zayn said, his words slurring a bit. “You guys want a drink? They’re actually quite delicious, even for the color.”

“Yeah, sure,” El nodded, tugging Louis’ hand again. She was probably doing that because she knew Louis didn’t want to come and she wanted to make sure he was with her at all times and having fun. Louis followed, still munching on his cookie when he zeroed in on Harry amongst all the people there. His eyes were on Louis and he looked surprised for the most part, his lips parted in an O and his eyes wide. And so fucking _gorgeous_. He had on his usual black skinny jeans, but on top he wore a lavender jumper that made him look almost angelic. His curls were pushed back with a lavender and cream colored head scarf and Louis wanted to run over there and kiss him to see if he tasted as sweet as he looked.

Louis stared back at Harry like a deer caught in headlights as he was pulled towards the drinks and Harry’s eyes followed him, his gaze moving from Louis’ face to what he was wearing (or lack thereof), eyes widening even more when he got a good look. When Louis turned to see who Harry was with, he suddenly wished he hadn’t seen Harry at all. There was a girl in front of him and she was _beautiful_. All warm, caramel colored skin and lips that looked desirable even to a gay man. She had on a skin tight red dress with red lips to match. Louis stood no chance.

“Louis,” Zayn said, snapping Louis from his thoughts and breaking his gaze from Harry and that girl. Louis turned to look at Zayn with wide eyes, pretty sure he’d throw up if he looked over at Harry again. Zayn just looked at Louis impatiently. “You want a drink?”

Louis figured he’d nodded because Zayn handed him one after and then El was once again pulling him towards the couch where Andy, Liam and a few of the others were sat. They all echoed hello’s to Louis, which he returned and looked down at the ground, sipping his drink, liking how fruity it tasted. He felt so awkward and uncomfortable and he knew this would happen. Harry was probably over there wondering why Louis’d come because if he hadn’t Harry could get with that beautiful girl. Maybe now Harry felt like he couldn’t do that anymore, and while a part of Louis was glad because he didn’t want her even _touching_ Harry, there was also another part of him that just felt bad. All in all, he felt like shit and wanted the floor to consume him so he didn’t have to be in that room any longer.

And he was curious to know who that girl was, so he turned to Liam on his left and nudged him. “Sup?” Liam asked, looking at Louis.

“Who’s that girl Harry’s talking to?” Louis asked him.

Liam looked over and then turned back at him. “That’s Dylan Wilkinson. She’s, like, president of this sorority, I think.” Louis hummed in response and Liam smiled at him knowingly. “You don’t have to worry, you know?”

“What do you mean?” Louis asked, pretending to play dumb.

“She approached him. He wasn’t here to pull tonight.”

“Boys are always trying to pull,” Louis scoffed. “Who are you trying to kid?”

Liam laughed, his eyes crinkling. “Can’t even try to defend myself, can I?”

Louis shook his head with a smile and sipped his drink. He talked to Liam for a while to distract himself and did his best to not look over at Harry. Liam told him about his courses and how hard they were, about his sister’s engagement, and the last girl he slept with. Apparently, she started to call Liam _daddy_ and it turned him on more than he thought it would. After a while Liam excused himself and not even a second later, Harry was beside Louis, his arm immediately coming around his shoulders to pull him into a half hug.

“Hi,” Harry whispered, kissing the side of Louis’ forehead.

“Hey,” Louis said back, pursing his lips. “Having fun?”

Harry nodded slowly, his eyes once again roaming down Louis’ body and then slowly coming back to his face. “I didn’t know you were coming. You didn’t tell me when I texted you this morning.”

“I didn’t know I was either,” Louis said. “El knows someone here and got us in because we had no other plans besides what I’d suggested, which was mostly to get sloppy at our flat alone and watch horror flicks.” Harry let out a loud laugh, his eyes bright and happy even though it wasn’t _that_ funny. Louis smiled at him, tilting his head to the side. “You surprised or disappointed?”

“Disappointed?” he asked with a frown. “Why would I be disappointed?”

Louis shrugged and Harry frowned deeper, but let it go. They chatted mostly after that and it was easy because Harry and Louis always talked. Louis rambled on about his day in detail and it was easy to because Harry always seemed so interested, like he could listen to Louis talk for ages and would never get bored. And it was easy to _sort of_ forget about Harry and Dylan. It helped that Harry was here with him and not her. Louis had no idea if Harry was doing this because he felt he was obligated to or if he actually wanted to be with Louis, instead. Louis wondered if it had anything to do with his bow because Harry couldn’t stop playing with it.

Harry’s hand that was around Louis brushed over his exposed skin in soft strokes and Louis felt chills run down his spine even though the house was warm. It might have also have a lot to do with the way Harry was looking at him. His eyes were everywhere. On Louis’ lips, on his bare chest, on his hips, _and_ his legs. Like he wanted to take Louis apart right there, slowly and bit by bit, and then put him back together.

“What are you staring at?” Louis asked after the fifth time he caught Harry just staring at him blankly with this zoned out look on his face while Louis was telling him a story.

“What do you think?” Harry said with a breathy, exasperated laugh before kissing Louis’ cheek. “You look really good. I like your costume.”

“Thanks,” Louis said, staring down at it. “I would barely call it a costume. It’s an old pair of boxers and wings from El’s fairy costume when she was thirteen.”

Harry laughed loudly again and then leaned in close next to Louis’ ear. “Can I be honest?” he asked.

“Of course,” Louis said matter of factly, grabbing his bow back from Harry.

“It’s really hard sitting here next to you and not being able to kiss you.”

Louis’ first thought was why couldn’t Harry kiss him? He’d kissed Louis before at parties, like his birthday, and in public several times, too. Why couldn’t he do it now because it’s not like Louis would stop him? Not when Harry looked like that in his stupid lavender jumper that Louis wanted to crawl into himself with Harry.

Instead of voicing his questions, Louis smiled at Harry in a passive aggressive way. “Oh,” he said. “Must be a hard life.”

“You have no idea,” Harry drawled out with a lopsided grin, staring down at Louis’ lips while doing so.

Louis smiled at him, looking at Harry’s lips as well. They were bitten red and a little chapped because he’d been chewing on them this entire time. “It’s a shame,” Louis said, eventually.

Harry nodded, his hand sliding down until it was around Louis’ waist where he prodded at his bare skin. “You reckon we should do something about it?” he asked.

Louis let out a short laugh. “I mean, I don’t know. Don’t you want to go back to Dylan Wilkinson?”

It came out before he could properly think it over. Louis froze and his eyes slowly turned towards Harry. Harry looked confused as ever, but more _amused_ , which what? He smirked and pulled Louis closer, if that was possible with how many of them were on that small couch. “Dylan Wilkinson?” he asked.

Louis could only nod.

Harry paused for what felt like forever before saying, “Are you jealous?”

Louis scoffed as convincingly as he could. “Jealous?” Louis asked, his voice way too high pitched and nervous for his liking. “What? _No._ ”

Harry only stared at him with that stupid, knowing smirk before nodding. “Alright, if you say so.”

“Well, I am saying so,” Louis retorted quickly.

“That you’re jealous.”

“Yes,” Louis nodded, but then quickly shook his head when he realized what he’d said. Harry was grinning at him with a smug expression and Louis wanted to die. “No. Not _jealous_. For fuck’s sake. Can we change the topic?”

“Of course,” he said, coolly. “I didn’t start it.”

“Yeah, but you’re continuing it,” Louis said, poking at Harry’s chest with his pointer finger. Harry continued to smile at Louis, grabbing his finger in his hand. He kissed it quick and Louis fought the smile threatening to form on his lips because this was _too much_. “I, um--I like your jumper.”

Harry looked down at it for a moment before looking at Louis again. “Do you? My mum got it for me.”

“It’s lovely,” he said. “Suits you really well.”

“Thank you,” Harry said. “It doesn’t really match the red and pink going on, but I liked it.”

“It’s sweet enough,” Louis said, making Harry smile. “It’s a nice theme, though. I saw tons of heart shaped snacks and candies out there that I kind of wanted to devour.”

“You would,” Harry snorted. “I saw you stuffing that cookie in your mouth as if you were the cookie monster.”

“Don’t act like it didn’t turn you on,” Louis replied, a playful smirk on his lips.

“Oh, I can’t deny that,” he said, like it was obvious. “I was _so hard_. Still am, probably.”

“Damn, that must suck,” Louis said. “What are you going to do about it?”

“I don’t know,” Harry shrugged nonchalantly. “I was going to ask Dylan Wilkinson to help me out. Think I should?” Louis’ mouth dropped and Harry burst out laughing, slapping his knee in the process. “I’m kidding. I swear I’m kidding,” he wheezed out.

Louis couldn’t even fake a laugh if he wanted to. Harry’s words struck a chord and he was annoyed. The thought of him and someone else was always hard and nauseating to think about, but hearing it from Harry like that just pissed him off. Louis had no idea how he ever thought introducing Harry to the culture of hooking up for fun was a good idea. How did he help him hook up with that first girl? How did he go from being Harry’s wingman to wanting to rip the hair off of beautiful Dylan Wilkinson and every other girl or boy Harry’d ever slept with?

When Harry noticed Louis wasn’t laughing and had closed in on himself, his laughter subsided and he looked at Louis gently with concern. “Lou,” he said, trying to look him in the eye even though Louis was resisting. “I’m sorry. You know I was joking, right? I’m sorry, babe.”

The term of endearment didn’t go by unnoticed, but only made Louis more upset. “It’s whatever,” Louis said, trying to shrug away from him. “I get it.”

“No,” Harry said desperately. “That was stupid. Not a funny joke at all. I’m sorry.”

“Harry,” Louis said with a bit of forced laughter. “It’s, like, fine.” He smiled with a bit too much teeth and stood up from there, managing to cover his bum before walking over towards the other room where he’d seen the snacks. He wanted to eat his weight in cookies and find something to drink if this was how bad the jealousy would get now that he had Harry, but didn’t really have him at all. Louis wanted to be drunk enough that the thought of someone else touching Harry wouldn’t hurt so bad.

He was only alone by the table for a few minutes, eating a chocolate brownie with pink sprinkles on it when Harry found him. He walked over, biting his lip and looking apprehensive. Louis gave him a casual smile, trying to show that he wasn’t bothered. Harry stopped in front of him and looked down at the brownie in his hand.

“Is that good?” Harry asked.

Louis nodded. “Superb,” he replied. “Want a bite?”

He nodded and Louis lifted it up to his mouth, but Harry took the whole thing into his mouth, including Louis’ fingers, and he wondered if Harry meant to make this as sexual as it was or if he just wasn’t aware of it. Louis pulled his fingers back, fixing Harry with a look, and grabbed another cookie. Harry stood beside him, leaning against the wall. He watched Louis finish the cookie with a fond look in his eyes until Louis turned to look at him.

“What are you staring at now?” Louis asked. “Can’t be because I look pretty since I’m standing here eating my face off.”

Harry laughed. “No,” he shook his head. “Still pretty.”

Louis rolled his eyes at that and Harry ignored it, instead grabbing Louis’ hand and pulling Louis towards him. “Are you upset with me?” Harry asked, softly. Louis shrugged, but then shook his head. Harry sighed, realizing that Louis wasn’t going to admit it no matter how many times he asked. He gently placed his palm on Louis’ check, fingers playing with the ends of his hair. “I wasn’t ever going to hook up with Dylan Wilkinson.”

Louis looked at him for a long moment, letting Harry wrap his arms around his waist. “Okay,” he said.

“Okay,” Harry said with a smile, his dimple sinking in. “Can I kiss you now?”

“Didn’t realize you needed permission,” Louis teased.

Harry grinned at him before tilting his head down to kiss Louis. “Mm,” he moaned softly. “You taste sweet.”

It should have felt inappropriate with the way Harry’s tongue was dipping into Louis’ mouth and his teeth biting down on Louis’ lower lip given that they were in the middle of a party, but Louis couldn’t find it in him to care. He lifted himself up on his toes and tilted his head to the side, kissing Harry back with fervor while tangling his fingers into Harry’s hair, tugging on the curly ends. One of Harry’s hands slid down until it rested over the curve of Louis’ bum and he gave him a squeeze, which Louis squeaked at. He felt Harry grinning into the kiss, only pulling away when they heard the loud voices of their friends.

“Break it up, you horn dogs,” Zayn bellowed, walking over. Louis heard Harry groan as he turned around to see the lot of them walk in, heading towards them. El was grinning cheekily and Liam looked smug, like he knew this would happen.

“What’s up, Zayn?” Harry asked, looking at him pointedly.

“Not much, Haz, why?” Zayn asked, popping a marshmallow covered in chocolate into his mouth.

“Just know that next time you’re with a girl, I’ll remember this,” Harry noted, reluctant to let Louis go. When his hands eventually slipped from Louis’ waist, they ended up pulling Louis right back in so that his back was leaning against Harry’s chest. He looped his arms around Louis’ waist again and held him there.

Zayn snorted, leveling Harry with a look. “Hardly like I was interrupting something that doesn’t happen quite often now, was I?”

Harry hummed in acknowledgement, burying his face in the crook of Louis’ neck, probably sniffing him like the weirdo he was. They stood around, talking with their friends and ranking the best costumes at the mixer. The guys were all dressed up in light colors, mostly, but the girls were most creative. Right now, the girl with the hearts on her nipples was winning. After that they took stupid pictures to put up on Instagram and made fun of how domestic Niall and Barbara and Ed and Taylor were because of their Valentine’s Day pictures.

When a certain classic Rihanna song came on, El’s eyes brightened up. “I used to love this song,” she practically screamed. “Do you guys remember this song?”

“Rihanna is so hot,” Zayn commented with a nod. “She always had the hottest songs. Like “S&M” was so hot.”

“Please,” El said. “‘What’s My Name’ is so much better. Come dance with me.” She quickly grabbed Zayn’s arm before he could protest and started dancing against him, which he shrugged and went along with.

“I quite like this song, too,” Liam said, stood beside Louis and Harry. “Mostly because Drake.”

“Good solo,” Louis commended, as Drake’s voice crooned out about the square root of sixty nine. Harry snickered and Louis turned his head to look at him, Harry’s hands still not letting him go.

“What?” Louis asked.

“Is it weird that I’m getting turned on by this song right now?”

Louis quietly looked at him for a moment before laughing, too. Harry grinned at him, placing a kiss on his lips before nosing against his neck and cheek before he moved up until his lips hovered next to Louis’ ear.

“ _You got that something that keeps me so off balance. Baby, you're a challenge, let's explore your talent.”_

Louis bit his lip, suddenly understanding what Harry was talking about. How could he not with the way his tongue traced the ridge of Louis’ ear while he sang to him in hushed whispers. With the way Louis was pressed up against him, he could actually _feel_ how much Harry meant it. It sent chills down his spine and he couldn’t do much but follow Harry when he led him to the dance floor in the same position they’d been standing in, leaving Louis’ bow in Liam’s hands. Louis could feel the eyes of a few girls and boys looking over at them and he wondered whether they thought Louis was just one of Harry’s many conquests or if they thought they were _together_. They saw Louis with Harry all the time and had to know that they were friends. Louis didn’t get a chance to think about it longer because Harry pressed a kiss on his shoulder and distracted him, like always.

They wound their hips together, Harry’s hand splayed across Louis’ stomach as they moved to the beat of the song. It was suddenly so hot in the room despite Louis being only in boxers. Harry’s face was buried in his neck, pressing soft kisses and biting down occasionally, and Louis’d never felt so connected nor this turned on because of another person while dancing. Harry was touching him everywhere just how Louis liked it and he had no idea how long he could hold it together with the way his dick was hardening in his boxers. He tilted his head back on Harry’s chest, giving him more access and Harry sucked down on the exposed skin, kissing and biting.

_You're so amazing, you took the time to figure me out._

_That's why you take me, way past the point of turning me on._

_You about to break me, I swear you got me losing my mind._

Louis quickly turned around and faced Harry, their lips meeting in a deep, insatiable kiss. Louis kissed him back for a few moments, letting Harry’s hands roam his body as freely as he wanted before pulling away. “Can we go?” Louis asked him. “Please. I wanna go.”

Harry nodded quickly, his lips pressing one last kiss to Louis’ before pulling him over to where their friends were. They all catcalled as they walked through the crowd of people. “Have a good time?” El asked, smirking at them.

“Enough teasing,” Louis pouted, taking his bow back from Liam. “I think we’re going to go, though.”

“We’ve hardly been here long,” El said, looking upset.

“Oh, let them be, El,” Zayn said. “It’s Valentine’s Day. I’m sure they have other ways to celebrate now based on what we’ve just seen.”

“Piss off,” Harry snickered as they headed out the door. They gave their friends all waves before walking out into the late February night. They walked aimlessly for a few moments, both smiling giddily, until Harry turned to Louis. “Where do we go?”

“Um,” Louis mumbled, wrapping his arms around himself to fend off the cold. “We could go to mine. I’m sure Niall and Barbara are busy at yours.”

“True,” Harry agreed, his lips pulled up into a grin. His hands were swinging by his sides, brushing against Louis’ every so often and Louis let himself entertain the idea of _holding hands_. He’d held hands with Harry before, but there was something about holding hands while walking when you weren’t fucking or just playing around. And Louis suddenly wanted Harry to hold his hand even if it was couple-like and slightly towards the romantic side of things. He wanted to hold Harry’s hand more than he wanted to go home with him and have Harry take him apart.

“Do you think El could pull tonight and we could have the flat to ourselves?” Harry asked, breaking Louis’ train of thought.

Louis snorted, his breath fogging up in front of him from the cold. “El doesn’t pull often, even though I know a bunch of guys in the frat who would totally hook up with her.”

“Damn it,” Harry said sulkily before putting on a cheeky smirk. “It’d be nice if we could be louder, _especially_ you. _Fuck._ ”

“Shut up,” Louis muttered, feeling his cheeks heat up despite the cold and smiling down at the ground.

“Aw,” Harry teased, laughing as he walked backwards so that he was facing Louis. “Are you embarrassed? Because you shouldn’t be. You sound amazing.”

“ _Harry,”_ Louis groaned, rolling his eyes and looking anywhere but at him.

“Yeah,” Harry said, nodding his head with a dirty smirk on his face. “That’s it. Except, it’s more like _oh, fuck, Harry, oh right ther--_ ouch!” He rubbed over the spot on his chest where Louis’d hit him and flinched, despite the grin on his face. “That fucking hurt.”

“Good,” Louis said. “You keep this up and you won’t be going home with me.”

“Oh, yeah?” he asked, with a challenging glint in his eye.

Louis nodded once, leveling him with a look even though he was still embarrassed and blushing over Harry imitating him. “I’ll find someone else.”

Harry let out a forced laugh, his smirk more forced than before. “Someone else?” he asked. “And how many guys are you shagging on the reg?”

“Um, let me think,” Louis said, thoughtfully with his pointer finger on his chin. “How many guys are there in the frat?”

Gone was the smirk and the smug attitude. Harry looked anything but amused and rolled his eyes at Louis. “Shut up,” he said, sounding almost _livid_.

“Oh,” Louis drawled out, laughing as he walked faster so he could keep up with Harry’s long backward strides. “It’s only okay if _you_ tease but when _I_ do it, it’s not fun anymore.”

“Yeah because mine was funny and yours wasn’t,” Harry replied sullenly.

“Why wasn’t mine funny?” Louis scoffed. “I found it plenty funny.”

“Louis,” Harry said sternly. “That’s enough.”

Louis widened his eyes and looked at Harry with a faux fearful expression. “Should I be scared?”

Harry shot Louis a look before going to grab him, but Louis let out a loud squeal and ran away from him. While he tried to outrun Harry as Harry chased him for about a block and a half, Harry eventually caught up with him and wrapped his arms around Louis from the back. “I’ve got you now,” Harry said, with harsh breaths hitting Louis’ ear.

“Congratulations,” Louis said, trying to even out his own breaths. “Would you like a prize for having obnoxiously long legs?”

“Heeey,” Harry said. “I’m just a bit tall."

Louis laughed out loud, mouthing out _a bit_ as Harry moved around so that he was walking beside Louis again and grabbing his hand in the process, tangling their fingers together. For a moment, Louis couldn’t even speak. Not just because he was out of breath, but because he was holding Harry’s hand. The fact that they were walking back to his place _holding hands_ like they were proper together. He could feel every part of him zero in on where his hand was entwined with Harry’s and his heart was beating loud enough that they could probably hear him several blocks down.

Harry looked at Louis with a tentative smile, his dimple prominent as ever. And he wouldn't look away, even though Louis was probably flushed red and looking really dumb. His gaze was fond and steady, making Louis more nervous than he wanted to be.

"Stop looking at me like that," Louis said, finally.

"Like what?" Harry asked with a laugh. "Like I couldn't stop if I tried?"

“That was cheesy,” Louis said, despite the huge grin on his face. “Bet you say that to _all_ your boys.”

“All my boys?” Harry asked, pointedly. “But I only have one boy. _You're_ my boy.”

“You sure about that?” Louis asked him, trying to sound cool, even though Louis knew Harry’s next words could either make or break Louis.

“I’m sure,” Harry nodded. He smiled at Louis before lifting their hands up to his lips to press a kiss to Louis’.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was one of my favorite chapters. hope you liked it! :)  
>   
> [tumblr](http://quitefinishedlarry.tumblr.com/) / [fic page](http://quitefinishedlarry.tumblr.com/yail) / [chapter post](http://quitefinishedlarry.tumblr.com/post/138882512650/fic-you-are-in-love-author-wildestdreams)


	17. the one with the talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this is a day late! ive gotten a bit slow with these and i apologize. wanna thank you all for reading/commenting/messaging!!! you're so sweet. and [mac](http://realitybetterthanfiction.tumblr.com/) has been so helpful and working under tight deadlines, so big thanks to her!!! i hope you like this chapter bc some big things happen. the next one will be a bit of a monster. i hope you're ready. also, feel free to send me drabble/character asks requests on tumblr! :)

 

+++

With February soon coming to an end and the weather finally getting a bit better, El and Louis grabbed their pasta and chicken dinners and sat down on their balcony to eat. With the sun setting and the sky darkening, they flicked on one the lanterns they’d hung up on the side and sat down on their pillow seats with their feet stretched out before them and began to eat. Their balcony wasn’t that big, but they’d made it cozy and had spent several summer days just sitting there and talking. Because of winter, the two of them hadn’t gotten a chance to do it in a while, so it felt nice and familiar to be able to again.

“How did your midterms go?” Louis asked El, trying to disentangle the cheese on his plate since it was stretching out too long.

“They went well,” she replied with a beam. “I think I aced all of them.”

“That’s good!” Louis said to her like a proud parent. “Good for you.”

“Thank you. Not sure if Harry fared as well. Saw him struggling a bit during the examination.”

He hummed in response. “Dunno about that, actually. He hasn’t mentioned anything to me. I know he revised because I was with him when he did, but who knows? Maybe Harry got stumped on a question.”

“You mean you two actually did something other than bone each other?” she asked, complete with a faux gasp and a dramatic expression. Louis looked at her with a bored expression and she burst into a laugh. “I’m just kidding. Thanks for playing that playlist when he came over last night, by the way. I really liked a few of the songs. Especially the new Kings of Leon tune he had on there. I actually Googled the lyrics and downloaded it while listening.”

He snorted, biting into his chicken. “I’ll let Harry know. I’m sure he’ll be happy to hear that.”

“How was it having sex with music on?”

Louis thought back to the night before when Harry decided to be spontaneous and show up at his front door. They didn’t say much when Louis let him in, just kissed while stumbling into Louis’ bedroom with their limbs entangled together. Harry plugged up his phone to his laptop and put it on the highest volume, playing whatever sex mix he made by the door so that the songs would drift outside. That made Louis laugh a lot, but then Harry tackled him on the bed with a deep growl and they got down to _business_.

Louis bit his lip, the details of the night playing back in his mind and his stomach tightening at the thought of calling Harry over again. He knew Harry would be here in a heartbeat if Louis asked and they could do it all over again. But then Louis realized he couldn’t do that because he was with El and she asked him a question and he couldn’t just go into a weird sex haze whenever he thought about Harry like this. Louis turned back to her, trying to compose his expression so he could answer her question. “I think it set the mood, definitely. Like, he picked some nice songs and it kind of spurred us on even more than usual.”

“How many athletic rounds of sex did you have?” El asked, her eyes so wide and imploring that it made him laugh because she was completely serious when she asked.

“Just, like, two, I think,” he said, waving a hand in the air.

“You think?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.

“There was so much going on,” Louis answered, defensively. “I couldn’t keep track. Stop judging me.”

“I’m not,” she laughed. “I’m just wondering.”

He leveled her with a look. “What about you, huh? How’s Max? You never told me about your date and quite frankly, I’m starting to get a bit offended because it’s becoming a trend. You go on dates and you come back and there’s _no_ mention of it. What is that supposed to mean? Surely _something_ interesting must have happened.”

“I forgot to mention it,” El shrugged noncommittally. “It was alright, I suppose, since you so desperately want to know. We actually went on two dates since then because he surprised me after one of my classes one day and took me to lunch, but you know. It’s chill, I guess.”

Louis gaped at her, slightly surprised by her nonchalance at yet another effort for a _relationship_. It wasn’t new was the thing, so he shouldn’t be that surprised. He’d always seen El just sort of have crushes on people, floating from one boy to another, and never actually doing anything about it. He couldn’t remember the last time she’d had a relationship because she was hardly ever in one other than the puppy love thing she had with Max years ago. Due to that, he’d assumed that after getting this second chance with Max she’d be excited or happy about it, but she seemed so indifferent to it all. Louis wasn’t sure what to make of it.

He thought back to a few weeks prior when El was so stressed about kissing a girl that she couldn’t even talk to _Louis_ about it, other than what she’d confessed to him. However, she was drunk then and El was always _too_ honest when she was drunk. And it bothered Louis that she wasn’t talking about it at all. He didn’t want her to bottle it all up when he knew there was something more that she wasn’t being completely honest about. El knew she could trust him, but with situations like these, he guessed you had to be careful because most times it wasn’t _you_ that was the problem or the issue. There could be an internal battle as well that had to be figured out, too, before anything else. Louis knew that better than anyone because it took him a long time to come out to anyone properly, let alone himself.

Louis realized he had been staring at her for too long without saying anything when she turned to him with penne pasta halfway into her mouth and raised eyebrows. He licked his tomato sauce stained lips and turned back to his food, trying to compose a more neutral expression. “Well, as long as you’re happy,” he said.

She hummed in response.

“You are happy, though, right?” Louis asked, looking back up at El again. He wanted her to know that she could be happy, regardless of who she liked to kiss, and that it was okay. And he also wanted her to know that he was always there for with whatever she was internally fighting. He knew figuring yourself out wasn’t easy and he wished she would allow him to help her in that sense.

She nodded, still unbothered and calm. “I mean, yeah, I’m happy. I have fun with Max,” she said with a slightly amused tone. “Max’s a good friend to me.” When Louis didn’t respond, having no idea what to say, she cleared her throat and smiled brightly. “I also made another new new friend.”

“Did you?” Louis asked. “Who is this _new friend_? Should I be worried?”

El giggled, shaking her head no. “I actually met her at the mixer we went to on Valentine’s Day and turns out she’s in one of my classes, too.”

“That’s great. What’s her name?”

“Dylan Wilkinson,” El replied enthusiastically while Louis’ mouth dropped at the familiarity of the name. “She’s president of that sorority and we talked all night. You’d left by then, but yeah. She’s so fucking funny. Like, you won’t believe the things she says.” When El caught the look on his face, she stopped talking and frowned slightly. “What?”

“That’s the girl Harry was talking with,” he said, with a displeased expression. “At the mixer. I got a bit jealous when I saw them, even though both he and Liam assured me that they weren’t flirting, but still. You never know what the intentions are.”

El let out an amused laugh, her eyes crinkling at the corners. He watched her for a moment as she wheezed out, “She wasn’t flirting with him, you loser.”

“Oh and how do you know?”

“She’s a _lesbian_.”

Louis’ eyes widened comically and that only spurred El on, making her laugh even harder. Louis bit his lip, sustaining an embarrassed smile and feeling rather silly as he thought back to the night of the party and how he’d reacted. Liam and Harry both told him that Harry wasn’t trying to chat her up or hook up with her. It didn’t occur to him that the reason could be that _she_ wasn’t interested in boys at all. Obviously guys and girls can talk as friends, but Louis went in there with the idea that something like that would happen. When he saw them together, he just jumped to conclusions and assumed the worst.

And now he looked really stupid.

El had quieted down beside him and was now watching him curiously. “I have a question,” she said after a while.

“What is it?” he asked, looking down at his half finished plate.

“I’m just a bit lost because you said you and Harry figured out your shit and that you were together. And I’m not doubting it or anything, but you had no plans on Valentine’s Day together and when you did see him, you assumed he was trying to hook up with another girl.” She paused for a moment, taking a deep breath. “How serious is it? Are you in an open relationship or?”

Louis avoided looking at her and let out a nervous breath, staring down at his plate intently. El wasn’t the top in her classes for no reason. She was extremely brilliant, observant and keen to everything going around her. It was rather silly of him to not correct her when she’d initially assumed what she did the day after Harry’s birthday. Because no matter what he said, after a while, she would put the pieces together and realize that Harry and Louis _weren’t_ in a relationship. They were still friends; just friends who fucked a lot, kissed a lot, and sometimes even held hands on the side. And friends didn’t do things like that. Friends didn’t sleep in the same bed or treat each other the way they did.

The thing was, Louis had thought that something would have changed between him and Harry by now and then what he’d told El wouldn’t be a lie anymore. And now a month had gone by and nothing had changed, really. Harry gave Louis clues, here and there. Little tidbits that this was different even though there was a limit to everything. It always held him back from worrying about it, until now, with El looking at him with a curious expression. Louis knew he couldn’t do that anymore. He knew avoiding it would be foolish because there was only so long he could get away with not answering questions like El’s.

Louis let out a soft sigh and licked his lips, delaying the inevitable, before looking back up at El. “Harry and I aren’t in a relationship.”

“What?” she asked, slightly disbelieving. “What do you mean? I see you two all the time and you’re always together and you’re kissing.”

“I know,” he said, feeling even more stupid. “I just--we haven’t exactly had that relationship talk yet. We’re just--.”

“What?” she interrupted, her voice sharper. He blinked at her, completely still as she frowned.  “What, like, you’re just fucking?” When he didn’t respond, El let out an angry scoff. “I thought you were done with this, Lou.”

“Done with what?” he asked.

“I thought you were done with guys walking all over you. I thought you were done with them taking what they want from you and treating you like shit. You were past all that bullshit, you told me!”

“You know Harry doesn’t treat me like shit,” he said loudly, immediately coming to Harry’s defense because Harry hadn’t done anything wrong. Harry had been so lovely to him every time they’d been together and Louis didn’t want El to say anything negative about him.

“I know that, but you’re one of his best friends. You two can’t just fuck on the side and then walk out of it unharmed. Someone’s going to get hurt and knowing how you feel about him, you know it’ll be you. Do you really want that? Do you want to take the progress you made over the last few years with yourself since that asshole of an ex of yours broke up with you and take however many steps back just because Harry won’t be direct with you?”

Louis turned away from her with a frown, squeezing his eyes shut and letting his head rest on the railing of the balcony. He wanted nothing more than to be far, far away from this conversation because it was a serious buzz kill. He’d been so _happy_ these past few days. Having feelings for Harry and being the way the two of them were had put him on fucking cloud nine, so much so, that he forgot about everything else. It’d been so long since he’d been this way with any guy that he forgot there were conversations to be had, something mature adults should do given the situation, and for good reason. Had Harry and Louis talked about what they were to each other, Louis wouldn’t have been worried that Harry’d get with another person or stressed over whether or not he could hold Harry’s hand when he wanted to. El was right in every sense because while the feeling of being reckless was fun at first, it wouldn’t be like that in the end.

“You get why I’m saying this, though, right?” El asked softly, her tone a lot more consoling than before.

Louis nodded his head slowly before opening his eyes again and looking at the busy streets below. “It’s just--I don’t know what to do. It feels like we’re a couple in every sense, but I still don't know.”

“Well, ask him, then,” she said, optimistically, with a smile and shining, brown eyes. “Make the first move. Be honest about how you feel about him.”

“I’m scared,” he admitted, his voice small. “After things with you and Harry ended, he had a bit of a breakdown and it wasn’t because of you or anything. It was mostly because he has this whole idea and fascination with finding _the one_. He thought Xander was the one and they broke up because Xander wasn’t making the effort. Xander didn’t try to fight for him in the end and that got to Harry. And then you gave up on him, too, and he was torn up about it all. He just kept opening up all these deep fears that he had and then me, being the idiot that I am, told him he’s young and in a frat, so he should go and fuck every person that threw themselves at him.”

“You did what?” El asked, her eyebrows practically shooting up to her hairline.

“I told him to hook up with random people and have casual sex,” Louis said with a shaky laugh. “I thought that it would be good for him to go a little wild after being in a relationship for so long. And he fucking listened and not long after, I started getting jealous. I was jealous and I couldn’t even admit to myself why I was until after he and I hooked up. Now I know, and Harry and I are this _thing_.”

“This _thing_ ,” El chuckled, humorlessly. “You realize that you can’t go backwards with these kinds of things, right? Like, once you and him have sex and continue to do it in whatever sense or state that you do, it can’t go back to the way it was before. Even if you talk to him and things don’t work out, it’ll always be like this. There will always be an elephant in the room and some sort of tension between you two.”

“I know,” he replied. “I’m completely aware that if we stopped and went back to being just friends, I’ll probably cry for days in my bedroom because I genuinely do like him a lot, El. Like, I can’t stop smiling around him no matter what and my heart always goes fucking crazy when he touches me. Harry does things to me and makes me feel stuff that I’ve never felt before. I’ll be heartbroken if he doesn’t feel the same.”

“So, why can’t you tell him that?”

“Because,” Louis cried, turning to look at her. “If I do, I look like such a fucking idiot. I was the one that told him to be single and have fun and now I’m saying, oh, don’t do that because I have a _massive crush_ on you? That’s so pathetic because he’s out there and he’s living his life and he’s fucking having a great time. I’d feel so stupid for saying _no_ now. I’d feel hypocritical and selfish to tell him to stop and be tied down to me if that’s not what he wants.”

El looked at him quietly for a moment, toying with the leftover chicken on her plate. “Do you think he has feelings for you, too? I mean, he can’t keep his hands off of you and he’s always here to see you. Surely, there must be something there.”

Louis pursed his lips with a shrug. “I think that he probably does have some feelings. He’s said some things and hinted at me being the only boy he’s with right now, so I mean, that’s good. And I always see him like you said, so I’m not going to be oblivious and say I don’t know if he does or not. I just don’t know if his feelings for me are enough that he’d want to be in a relationship with me. He hasn’t brought it up--ever.”

El sighed, looking as defeated as he felt with the situation. “I mean, your reasoning now is completely understandable. I’d probably be the same, but I’d also just think about myself, too. And how this would affect everything in the grand scheme of things. You can’t ignore the reality of the situation just for some temporary happiness. You’ve to be logical and mature about it after a while.”

“I will be,” he told her. “I’ll--I’ll figure something out. I don’t know what, but I will.”

“I just want you both to be happy,” she said. “I don’t want either of you to be sad after all this. And I don’t want you to stop being friends after all this because he’s good to you and you’re good to him and you two deserve to be happy--together or not.”

“I don’t want that either,” Louis assured her. “Like I said. I’ll think about it.”

El gave him one last small smile before quietly finishing up her dinner.

+++

That night, Louis tossed and turned in bed from one end to the other, not being able to sleep because his head was filled with thoughts about Harry. He shouldn’t have been surprised because all his thoughts were always about Harry, no matter how big the world was and how insignificant they really were in the grand scheme of things, Harry was all Louis could think about.

El’s words kept playing back to Louis on a loop, echoing in his mind since he’d spoken with her. After dinner, they both retreated to their bedrooms and said goodnight. Louis tried to do some revision and when he couldn’t retain any of the information, he gave up and tried watching something on Netflix, instead, but that only made him think of Harry even more. So then, he settled into bed, hoping he could sleep this whole night off, but that hadn’t worked, either. Louis couldn’t find it in him to sleep, not when something as big as this was weighing on his shoulders.

Simply put, Louis really wanted Harry. He wanted to be with Harry in every sense so badly that he would do anything to get him. And he wanted to know if Harry wanted him, too. He’d said it countless times that he did while they were having sex, but Louis hardly thought that was the same. While being with someone in a physical sense was extremely important, wanting them as your significant other was just as essential. Louis played back every single moment they spent together since his birthday, every second etched into his memory, simply trying to understand. Were they still just friends or were they more? Louis had been so willing to let everything slide because at least he had Harry in some capacity if not none. And while that had been okay for a while, Louis knew it couldn’t be like that anymore.

He’d never had feelings for anyone like he did for Harry and that was the part that always got to him the most. No one had _ever_ sparked such a strong physical reaction in him. He’d been with a few boys in his time and none of them matched up to what Harry had shown him. And Louis wanted that to have a label now. He couldn’t settle for he and Harry being continuously stuck in this weird limbo between just friends and more than friends any longer because he wanted Harry to like him for more than his body.

Louis wanted Harry to like him how he liked Harry, which wasn’t just in a physical sense, but his thoughts, mind, and dreams, too.

While Louis was a little optimistic about how the conversation might end up turning out, he also couldn’t help but be a little scared. He almost sort of expected Harry to laugh at him when he told him or maybe ask Louis if he was joking. Maybe Harry liked being single more than he wanted to be with Louis. _Maybe_ he didn’t want to be with Louis at all if this was the ultimatum Louis was going to give him.

And for the first time in a long time, Louis was scared of the future instead of anticipating it. He was scared of what would happen between them, but most of all he was scared that things between them had changed and now they couldn’t be how they were before all this. Before they started kissing and having sex. If that ended up happening, Harry would become a stranger again and Louis’d never know what could have happened if Harry did give them a shot.

+++

 

The week that followed was seemingly one of the longest weeks of the semester. It dragged on, way longer than necessary, making Louis feel everything more intensely.

Since he’d decided that he was going to talk to Harry regarding what they were, he realized he couldn’t face Harry until he figured out how or what exactly he was going to say. It seemed like such a loaded and scary conversation that Louis needed more time to think and formulate not only the words, but also a bit of courage. He was scared shitless and kept avoiding the whole thing altogether whenever given the opportunity. While it was cowardly of him, he didn’t care. He wasn’t ready yet to face Harry and admit how he felt.

Consequently, this put a sudden halt to how their relationship had developed over the past few weeks, and the two of them were now not only not hanging out and talking like they usually did, but also not sleeping together either.

Louis had gotten spoiled a bit this past month, used to seeing Harry’s dimpled smile first thing in the morning and melting into his soft, warm hugs whenever he wanted. So much so, that he felt fucked up over not seeing Harry for just a week. He’d find himself wondering what Harry was doing and whether or not he could get away with seeing him only for a little bit without having to say what was looming over the two of their heads. Louis missed him so much that sometimes it would catch him by total surprise because he’d see or remember something related to him (which was pretty much everything) and Louis’d reach over for his phone to text him because they always texted from the minute they woke up to the moment they fell asleep, only to realize, he wasn’t really talking to him at the moment. Louis’d be going about his day, doing revision or going to classes or running errands and he’d find himself aching to see Harry for no reason at all, just to talk to him out of habit.

Harry tried to see Louis, of course. He had texted him a few times to go for a coffee run, which Louis’d either declined or ignored, pretending like he was already asleep. Other than that, since their classes ran differently and their schedules didn’t always match up, they wouldn’t really see each other on campus, either, unless by chance. Louis could tell Harry knew something was fishy, but was probably not questioning it because Louis wasn’t _completely_ shutting him out. They had gone without seeing each other for long stretches before when course work got busy, but since the start of everything after Harry's birthday, they had been inseparable. Louis both hoped and didn't hope that Harry noticed something being different about this recent loss of contact.

Because if Harry didn’t notice it, then that meant they weren’t as special for him. That meant that whatever it was that was between them wasn’t as important as Louis thought it was and if Louis was just going to stop, that meant Harry would, too, without a question. And that wasn’t a comforting thought because even if it was over and it never really began in the traditional sense of things, it was more than real in Louis’ heart.

By the time the weekend rolled around, Louis was more than antsy and nervous before the party at Theta Chi. He’d gotten dressed, spending longer than usual in front of the mirror to figure out what to wear before settling on an all black ensemble. El found him in his room, hours after he’d gone in to get dressed, still lacing up his Adidas.

“You’re still not ready yet?” she asked, looking at him with her eyebrows pinched and puckered.

Louis shrugged once he was done putting on his shoes. “Couldn’t decide what to wear,” he told her.

El nodded, walking further inside and sitting beside him on his bed. “Are you alright?” she asked him quietly, her eyes imploring and concerned.

“I’m fine,” Louis said, giving her a small breathy laugh. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Because I know I probably fucked things up for you by telling you all those things last week about Harry. You haven’t seen him all week, Lou, which means you’re avoiding him now. And I swear, I didn’t mean to, like, psych you out or anything. By all means, be with Harry because I know how much you like him. Don’t listen to me.”

“It’s not your fault,” he insisted, wrapping an arm around her so that she’d calm down. “It’s not anyone’s fault, really. You were right in what you said so don’t feel guilty, I just have to talk to him about it, but I haven’t found the courage to. That’s why I’ve been avoiding him, but I’ll see him tonight and I still don’t know what I’ll say. So, just a bit nervous, is all.”

El looked unconvinced and still a bit guilty, but Louis didn’t know what else to say to make her feel better. “Well,” she started to say eventually. “Let me help you. _I’ll_ help you, I promise I can help you figure this out.”

“What can you do?” he asked. “Not like you can go and have that conversation with him for me, can you?”

“We’ll figure it out,” she repeated.

“Figure what out?” Barbara asked, walking into Louis’ bedroom with a bright smile. She’d come over earlier that day to revise with El because apparently El’s revision vibes inspired her. Then again, not a lot of revision went down once Louis joined them for dinner. They talked a lot about Niall, a topic Barbara loved to gush about. It seemed things were getting serious. Niall had met her parents and they even spent a night at her brother’s house with his wife and two kids up in Birmingham one weekend. She told them it was proper domestic because they baby-sat for a while and even cooked dinner together.

They also spoke about Max after after Barbara prodded. It seemed they had another date and El _said_ she was excited, but Louis was still wary to completely believe her. She spoke more of her new friend, Dylan, who she smiled at just the mention of. The two of them seemed to hit off so much so that they were now revision buddies in the library and often had meals together throughout the day. Louis was curious to know what Dylan was really like given his initial perception of her as someone who was trying to pull Harry because El praised her like she was the sun.

El was just about to answer Barbara and probably fill her in on what was going on between Harry and Louis when the doorbell rang. Louis looked at El in confusion, wondering if they were expecting any guests given that they were about to go out. She shrugged in response before turning to Barbara.

“Niall’s here. He wanted to walk with us to the party,” she informed them with a giddy smile. They watched as she practically sprinted out of the room to answer the door, and by the time El and Louis had joined them, they found the pair snogging by the front door. Niall had Barbara in his arms, lifted up off the floor, and it looked like a scene out of a Disney fairytale movie. Would have been cute any other time, but considering Louis’ own hopeless love life, he felt rather bitter.

“Well, isn’t this just cute,” El remarked with an air of faux sarcasm even though she was grinning.

Louis snorted as Niall and Barbara pulled away and Barbara was back on her own feet. Niall straightened out his red flannel shirt and smiled at them sheepishly. After gathering the last of their things, the four of them headed out and walked towards the frat house. It was quiet at first. El and Louis walked behind Niall and Barbara, who were swinging their entwined hands ahead of them. They were talking in whispers between themselves about whatever and then Barbara turned around to look at El and Louis.

“Oh, I just remembered,” she said. “What were you two _figuring out_ before?”

El looked at Louis warily for a moment before turning back to Barbara and Niall. “Louis and Harry aren’t in a relationship yet,” she told them sadly, the corners of her mouth tugged down.

Louis looked at her in complete disbelief. “You can’t say that in front of his roommate and best friend,” he cried, throwing his hands up in exasperation.

“Niall won’t tell,” Barbara immediately said, trying to calm him down. Niall gave a nod in agreement and the three of them looked at Louis in concern. He hated it. Barbara slowed down their pace so that we were all walking in a line. “I thought you two were a couple. We all did.”

“I did, too,” Niall said. “Harry hasn’t said anything to make us think otherwise and God knows, we’re always making fun of him about you two and calling you his boyfriend. He never corrects us.”

“Well, he hasn’t asked me or said anything,” Louis told him. “We never had that conversation or like any proper date. It’s just been physical stuff for the most part.”

“Why didn’t you have the conversation?” Barbara asked. “I thought you liked him, like seriously liked him.”

“I do,” Louis admitted, carefully eyeing Niall, wondering if he was going to tell Harry everything even though Barbara said he wouldn’t. “Things just kind of took a weird turn and it got to this stage. And now I don’t really know how to fix it without ruining our friendship, but it might already be ruined.”

Niall clicked his tongue, shaking his head at that. “Harry’s not like that. He wouldn’t ruin your friendship for anything. You shouldn’t be scared. I’m sure Harry would talk it out.”

“Louis has his reasons for not saying anything,” El defended quickly. “Why can’t Harry say anything? It’s obvious he feels _something_ for him, so maybe _he_ should say it.”

“True,” Niall agreed. “Not sure why he hasn’t. I could talk to him for you, if you want?”

“No,” Louis quickly said because that was so embarrassing and so primary school. “Don’t do that. I--I’ll figure it out. I don’t know how, but I will.”

“You could just go up to him and say you need to talk,” Barbara suggested. “Very easy and simple. Effective, too.”

“That is such a mood killer,” Louis groaned. “I’m not doing that.”

“You could spur _him_ on to saying something,” El said, her eyes suddenly shining mischievously. The three of them looked at her in confusion and she grinned. “Flirt with another guy in front of him and see if Harry does anything. If he’s serious about you in any way, he’ll definitely get jealous and come over and say something.”

Louis let out a nervous cackle while shaking his head no. “What?” he asked her. “That’s so--it’s so-- _you know_. It’s so childish. Harry isn’t even the jealous type, I think, so I don’t know if that would work.”

“Uh, no. Harry’s _definitely_ the jealous type if he actually has feelings for you,” Niall admonished. “I’ve seen him get jealous a handful of times over Xander because he really liked him, but if he doesn’t have genuine feelings then he wouldn’t really cause a scene.”  

“See!” El cried, excitedly. “It could totally work and give you all the answers you need.”

“No, it can’t,” Louis insisted. “I don’t want to flirt with anyone. It’s so counteractive.”

“I think it could work,” Barbara said. “I agree with El. You should totally flirt with some other boy and Harry would come over and tell you to stop because he’s in love with you. And you’ll live happily ever after.”

“News flash, Barbara, it’s not always _easy_ like that,” Louis snapped. “And like I said, I don’t really want to flirt with anyone.”

“You don’t have to actually flirt,” El said. “You could just talk to someone and we’ll get Niall to go over to Harry and tell him that you guys are flirting.”

“Yes!” Barbara grinned, nodding her head and hopping up and down. Louis started to wonder if whenever Niall kissed her, he transferred some of his enthusiastic energy into her because this was some next level shit. “What do you say, Lou?”

Louis sighed, rubbing a hand over his arm. It could possibly work, even though it wasn’t ethical to just manipulate a situation to get what he wanted. He used to do things like that, but now he didn’t anymore and for good reason. Plus, he was also a bit scared Harry wouldn’t come over because he wasn’t jealous and Louis would end up looking stupid. However, given the looks on his friend’s faces, he knew he might not have a choice. “I’ll think about it,” he eventually said, feeling defeated.

“That’s good enough,” El replied with a knowing smile. “For now.”

+++

Louis’d been standing on his own by the drinks table, sipping on whatever Ed had mixed him while looking at the party going on around him, when Kyle Baker had approached him. The last time Louis’d seen him was in the boys locker room when he’d walked in on Louis and Harry kissing. He greeted Louis with a kiss on the cheek and they made small talk, catching up and laughing at whatever story Kyle was telling Louis, enough to distract him for a little while from the constant nagging in his head about Harry.

He saw Harry as soon as he’d walked inside of the frat house with the girls and Niall. Harry was leaning against the wall on the opposite side of the room, talking to Zayn and Ed, and he immediately came over to Louis when he saw him. Louis didn’t miss the way the others watched them as Harry engulfed Louis in a big hug and gave him a kiss on the lips, whispering, “ _missed you_ ,” into his ear. Louis couldn’t help but get a little dazed and elated at that because kissing Harry and touching him after all these days felt like a breath of fresh air. Since then, though, he’d made steady efforts in avoiding Harry while trying to figure out whether or not he should do what the girls and Niall had suggested because that seemed easier than actually asking him to talk. That was over an hour ago and Louis still had no idea.

It was in the middle of Kyle telling Louis about this new puppy his family just adopted that Louis noticed Niall whispering something to Harry from across the room and Harry’s eyes immediately shooting over to where Louis was. Louis quickly turned away and looked back at Kyle, who was still going on with his story, hand gestures and all. Shit. Fuck.

Louis should have known El and Barbara weren’t going to wait for him to make an actual decision on this. They were meddlesome and nosey if they were anything and Louis was stupid to think that they weren’t going to stay out of it. He absentmindedly nodded along to whatever Kyle was saying, awkwardly shifting from one foot to another and crossing his arms, wanting so badly to see if Harry cared about whatever Niall told him. If he cared that Kyle could be flirting with Louis.

He got his answer right then when suddenly Harry appeared beside him, his arm sliding around Louis’ waist. Louis blinked up at him and Harry looked down at him with something dark and questioning in his eyes. Louis didn’t get a chance to say anything to him because Kyle beat him to it.

“Hey man,” Kyle said to Harry, his eyes narrowing in on where Harry’s hand was on Louis before looking back up at them and straightening out his frown with a smile. “What’s good?”

“Alright,” Harry shrugged, his fingers prodding at Louis’ hips. “You?”

“I’m great,” Kyle responded. “Just telling Louis about this new puppy we got. He’s a golden retriever and fresh out of our neighbor’s dog’s womb.”

“Oh,” Harry chuckled. “That’s--uh, that’s cute. What’d you name him?”

“Haven’t decide yet, but it’s between Peppermint and Biscuit.”

“Both are very good choices,” Harry replied with a firm nod. “I’d go with Biscuit, though.”

Kyle nodded, mulling over Harry’s response before turning to Louis. “What about you, Louis?” he asked. “What do you think?”

Louis froze as the two boys turned to him, expectantly, and he almost laughed out loud, feeling hysterical. He had no interest in saying anything because his mind was still stuck back at Harry coming over as soon as Niall told him Kyle was flirting with Louis. Harry came over right away and he was holding Louis possessively in front of Kyle to prove a point. This meant Harry was jealous and he _did_ care and that Louis was _his_.

Louis slowly smiled at last, a blush forming on his cheeks. “I like Biscuit, too,” he said.

“Duly noted,” Kyle laughed. “Anyways, I’ll leave you two be. I’m going to go see if I can find anyone else I know. Later!”

“Bye,” Louis waved, giving him a polite smile. Even after he was gone, Harry’s hand stayed where it was and he turned Louis so he was facing him.

“Hi,” Harry said, his lips tugging up at one corner into a smirk.

“Hi,” Louis replied, not being able to help but giggle at him and look away because he felt a little shy.

Harry smiled back, his palm coming up to play with the tips of Louis’ hair in the back. “You okay?” he asked.

“I guess,” Louis shrugged, placing one hand on Harry’s shoulder while playing with the thin fabric of his white t-shirt with the other. Harry hummed, leaning into Louis’ touch before putting his other arm around him so that his hands were looped behind Louis.

“We should ditch this party and go get coffee,” he said. “Maybe talk? About us?”

Louis nodded with a small smile. “I’d like that.”

+++

Harry settled down beside Louis on the hood of his car, their legs dangling off on the edge. He handed Louis his coffee cup, which Louis took and blew on a bit, not taking a sip quite yet. This was earlier than when they normally met for coffee, yet the shop was practically deserted save for that one girl sitting by the window with her headphones in her ear and a book in her lap. There wasn’t any music streaming from inside the car or good-hearted conversation between Harry and Louis this time.

The mood had shifted between them on the drive over towards something slightly more tense and nervous. Louis was now worrying about how this conversation was going to go as opposed to how to bring it up like before. Harry wasn’t saying anything for the most part, just sipping on his drink, and Louis couldn’t help but wonder what was going through his head. He’d been sweet when they said goodbye to everyone at the party, keeping his hand around Louis and kissing him on the cheek here and there. When they got into the car and drove over, he just kept getting quieter and quieter as they got closer to the coffee shop and the impending conversation that was waiting to happen between them.

After what seemed like a century, Harry finally broke the silence. “Do you think Kyle will seriously name his new dog Biscuit after we told him to?”

Louis looked at Harry for a moment and noticed the humored smirk on his lips and let out a surprised laugh. “Fuck, I hope not. It’s a _terrible_ name.”

“It is,” he agreed with a nod. “‘S why I suggested it to him.”

Louis tutted, disappointedly. “Why’d you do that? That’s not very nice. He’s your teammate and a friend.”

“Not when he’s standing there and flirting with you. And honestly, Louis, any guy who uses his new puppy as a chat up line is not even worth it. I’m _just saying_.”

Louis giggled a bit nervously, feeling his heart rate pick up a little and his hands shake with nerves. “Oh, yeah? You think it was lame?”

“Super lame,” Harry answered right away. His tone took a turn for more serious as he looked down at his cup. “You shouldn’t even talk to him. He’s not good for you.”

“Why not? What’s so bad about him?” Louis asked, feeling his heart thundering against his ribcage, waiting with bated breath as Harry looked over at him.

“Just don’t like him talking to you.”

“Why does it matter though, Harry?” he asked him, getting rather frustrated that Harry wouldn’t just come out and say it. “What’s it to you if he does?”

“It’s everything to do with me when he’s looking at you like that or talking to you like that. I don’t like it, Louis.”

Harry was watching Louis with wide, honest, green eyes and Louis nodded at him for no reason, just to do something because he couldn’t look away from him. Louis gulped before speaking again, his voice coming out small and shaky. “Do you like me, Harry?”

Harry let out a breathy laugh, almost nervous and contemplative. “Isn’t it obvious?” he asked.

“Is it?” Louis bit his lip, chewing on it.

“Of course I like you, Louis,” Harry breathed out, putting his coffee down on his other side before leaning in towards Louis. “I like you so much, you have no idea. I have for a long fucking time and I thought you knew.”

“You like me,” Louis said, a smile forming on his lips, watching as Harry grinned back at him with a nod.

“Like you so, so much. You’re so fucking beautiful in every possible way. How could I not?”

Louis frowned then, smacking Harry on the chest and watched him wince, rubbing over the spot. His lips formed an ‘o’ as he gasped softly, before laughing shakily and looking at Louis with a frown. “What the fuck? Why have you done that?”

“Why didn’t you ever tell me, you arse? I spent a fucking week in misery because I didn’t know how to tell you and turns out you felt the same the entire time.”

“I _knew_ you were doing that on purpose. Please don’t avoid me like that again. Longest week of my life,” he mumbled, nosing against Louis’ neck. “And I was _scared_ , alright?”

“Scared about what?” Louis asked.

“Scared that you might not want to be with me,” Harry said, his voice soft and warm against Louis’ neck. “Because I want to be with you so badly, Lou. Please, I really want this. And I’m not sure if you are, too, but I’m so fucking serious about us. I just didn’t know if you were too.”

“I am,” Louis said to him quietly. “I really like you, too, Harry.”

Harry smiled, his lips tugging at the corners as he looked back up to Louis, his eyes flitted down to Louis’ lips before meeting his eyes again. “Should have told me, too.”

“I didn’t know how,” Louis replied with a guilty smile. “Not after I gave you that whole speech to go sleep around and be single. It would have been so hypocritical of me because what if you liked being single and didn’t want to be tied down in another relationship? I wasn’t sure if you wanted that. If you wanted _me_.”

Harry smiled at him softly, his eyes tracing every feature on Louis’ face like he wanted to memorize how it looked at that moment. Like he wanted to keep this moment with him forever, just like Louis did.

“I want you,” Harry whispered, his warm breath fanning over Louis’ lips, making Louis want to close the space between them and taste the bitter coffee on his lips. “I want only you.”

“Want you, too,” Louis whispered back, finally leaning forward to brush their lips together before pulling away again. “I don’t want to just hook up and stuff when we’re drunk or whatever. I want a proper relationship, like, sober or drunk, it’s only going to be me for you and you for me.”

“Yeah,” Harry nodded eagerly, kissing the corner of Louis’ lip. “Want that, too.”

Louis smiled, putting his coffee cup down before cupping Harry’s strong, defined jaw and kissing him soundly. Their lips moved together slow and languid, sweet and wet. Louis felt him wrap an arm around him, smiling with his tongue in Louis’ mouth and Louis knew that he had never been happier than he was now. Louis used to go into things with boys, knowing it would have an expiration date, but with Harry that thought never once came. And while this may not last, maybe finding out if it would could be an adventure on its own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you liked it! aiming for an update on either sunday/monday :)  
>   
> [tumblr](http://quitefinishedlarry.tumblr.com/) / [fic page](http://quitefinishedlarry.tumblr.com/yail) / [chapter post](http://quitefinishedlarry.tumblr.com/post/139199133350/fic-you-are-in-love-author-wildestdreams)


	18. the one with the perfect first date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ah, we've hit the halfway mark! i hope you're liking the progress so far. this is one of my faves as well as [mac's](http://realitybetterthanfiction.tumblr.com/). you all should have seen the comments she was leaving while editing. lol! i'd love to hear your thoughts as well on the progression of harry and louis' relationship. it's going to be pretty fluffy for a while before getting super angsty again.  
>   
> there's a part in this chapter where i reveal the ending of _how i met your mother_. i will warn you before we get there, but if you don't want it to be spoiled, just skip ahead. it is important to keep, though as it comes to play later on in the fic.  
>   
>  i also made a whole new [character index](http://quitefinishedlarry.tumblr.com/yailcharacters) for the fic. check it out bc i worked on it for a while and it's cute!

Louis stretched out his legs in front of him while leaning back on his palms, straightening out his navy blue shorts. Harry sat beside him, pulling off his boots and settling in on the blanket they laid over the grass. “I have to say,” Louis told him, looking around the vast park area where several people were sitting down like them and looking up at the giant projector set up in the center. “This is quite the idea you had.”

“Isn’t it?” Harry said smugly. “As soon as I heard about it, I knew I had to bring you. Helps that the weather turned out as well as it is, too.”

“You knew you had to bring me? When was this? Before or after we became a couple?”

“Definitely before. I saw flyers around campus from ages ago.”

“So, you would have brought me here and stealth dated me the entire time had we not had that talk and I would have gone along with it, completely oblivious to everything?”

“Probably, yeah,” he laughed, cockily.

“You’re shady,” Louis accused.

“You would have loved it,” Harry retorted.

Louis smiled to himself, mostly because Harry was right, turning away from him to look at the people coming into the park and settling in for the movie. It was a big outdoor screening of some movie Harry hadn’t told Louis the name of yet and it was essentially the second part of their first date. The first part had been dinner at a Thai restaurant in Soho. After dinner, Harry brought Louis to Hyde Park with a bag of what he could only assume was dessert that Harry picked up from ASDA on the way, but wouldn’t let him see. Louis stood outside like a moron while Harry tried to keep up the element of surprise.

He was such a loser.

Nonetheless, It had been really fun and exciting so far. After they’d made things official, Harry asked Louis on a date right away and he agreed, of course. They were super good the days leading up to the date, not really meeting up like they usually did and giving each other space to have a proper, real start as boyfriends. It was hard because they’d text all the time and tell each other how much they liked each other or all the things they wanted to do together and it made Louis miss him a lot. Every night after they’d finished talking, whether on the phone or through messaging, Louis’d lie in his bed and wish Harry was with him and _not_ a ten minute walk away. He’d fall asleep replaying the words Harry said to him and the things they laughed at, or the way Harry looked when he walked Louis to his class, hair up in a quiff or pulled back in a beanie with cold, chapped lips and bright, green eyes.

“So, what are we watching?” Louis asked, probably for the tenth time that night.

“They’re going to be screening _Dirty Dancing_ ,” Harry replied at last, having been watching the crowd like Louis as well.

“You’re kidding,” Louis said, turning to look at him with wide eyes and a surprised, yet thrilled expression on his face. “I fucking love that movie.”

“Same. Me and Gemma used to watch it all the time,” Harry said, scooting back and leaning against the tree that was behind them. “Next week they’re going to be showing _Titanic_ and you can bet on everything that we’ll be here for that.”

“Oh, I’ve forgotten that that’s one of your favorites,” Louis said, giggling. “You’re a ridiculous sap, honestly.”

Harry looked at him with a bored expression. “And you’re still pretending like you hate it when you really love it,” he said flatly.

“And you’re an arsehole.”

“Keep that up and I’m going to bring Zayn on the date next week instead of you, so you’ll miss out.”

Louis cocked his head to the side, watching Harry with narrowed, challenging eyes. “Was that a threat?” he asked. Harry shrugged, looking smug and stupid and very sexy with his stupid fluffy hair and pink, pink lips. “Well, I mean, I don’t want to miss _Titanic_. I’ll just ask someone else then.”

“Right,” Harry scoffed. “Like who?”

“Like Kyle Baker.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Harry grumbled while Louis cackled obnoxiously. Harry took out whatever was in the ASDA bag and Louis’ eyes widened in delight when he saw it was mini ice cream containers. Harry placed them on his lap and looked over at Louis haughtily. “I bought this for you. S’ your favorite, cinnamon buns, but I don’t know if I want to give it to you.”

“Seriously?” Louis asked almost laughing out loud. “You’re not going to share?”

“Actually,” Harry said, letting the word drag out longer than necessary. “It was all yours. I got my own. Chunky Monkey.”

“You _would_ get Chunky Monkey, you weird banana loving...weirdo.”

“First of all,” he said defensively. “Bananas are amazing and nutritious, not weird. Second of all, this is not helping your case. I’m about to eat both.”

“Yeah, but then you’ll feel poorly.” Harry shrugged at Louis like that didn’t bother him and Louis groaned softly before shifting closer to him and looking up at him through his eyelashes, trying to look as cute as he possibly could. “C’mon, you know you want to give it to me.”

“I don’t know,” he shrugged like he wasn’t sure. “Do I want to give _it_ to you?”

Louis didn’t miss his suggestive tone or the glint in his eyes. It just reminded Louis that no matter what they were talking about, the banter was always going to be like this; quick, funny and definitely dirty. Louis nodded enthusiastically at Harry before placing himself on Harry’s lap and catching him by surprise. “You do,” he said, trying to sound as convincing as he possibly could, his voice sweet like thick honey. “Because you _liiike_ me.”

Harry fought the smile that was tugging the corners of his lips up, but his dimples gave him away and Louis giggled before leaning down to press a soft kiss against Harry’s lips. He kissed him back, their lips brushing softly against each other while Harry’s hands came up to rest on Louis’ hips and pull him closer. It turned into something quick, dirty and deep within seconds, which Louis mostly blamed on them not having done anything past quick kisses since before Louis’ talk with El and that had been more than two weeks ago. They had needs and it was _showing_. Louis pulled away from Harry with a smile and noticed him watching Louis in a way he couldn’t quite place.

It was so tender and bright and warm at the same time that it made Louis’ stomach turn in a pleasant way and his heart beat a little faster as one of Harry’s hands came up to cup his face. Harry’s thumb brushed over his cheekbones and he just kept looking at him with _that_ look in his eyes for so long that Louis started to blush and feel warm under his touch.

“Why are you looking looking at me like that?” Louis asked him, not being able to help himself.

“Because,” Harry said after his eyes searched Louis’ for a second and his smiled turned a bit wider. “I _liiike_ you,” he mimicked him.

Louis laughed, feeling even more embarrassed at Harry’s teasing and curled up on him, hiding his blushing face in the crook of his neck while Harry’s arms came to wrap around him and hold him tightly.

+++

Harry and Louis were buzzing on the way home after the movie, which was fantastic and better than Louis remembered. They had spent the entire movie repeating lines they’d memorized over the years to each other with super dramatic expressions and then obnoxiously singing along to “Time of My Life”, making the people near them scowl in their direction. Towards the end of the movie, they started to kiss again and it soon turned into a makeout session, which culminated quick and fast without either of them stopping since it was dark and the mood was set with the romance in the movie playing in the background. Louis didn’t even want to know how many people saw Harry’s hand slip inside his shorts since he had that thing for grabbing Louis’ bum whenever they made out.

Evidently the trip home had the two of them feeling jittery and antsy because it was going to be their first time in a while and Louis for one was more than ready to rip Harry’s blue flannel shirt off his body. He’d been wearing it with only three of his buttons done up and it was quite frankly, _extremely_ rude. Harry had no business being that good looking and _only_ half naked instead of completely. _No_ business at all.

They quickly rushed into the lift of Harry’s flat, eager to get upstairs and get on with it. Harry kept kissing Louis along the way, gripping his waist and pushing him against the wall whilst laughing into his mouth even though his actions were so rough. After they reached his floor and walked to his door, Harry pulled out his keys and was just about to unlock the door when the door opposite flew open. Taylor was stood on the other side with a red, tear stained, angry face.

“Tay,” Louis gasped, alarmed, walking towards her. She shook her head at him with a pained expression, shrugging him away before charging out of there. Harry and Louis stood there in shock, watching her get into the lift and leave.

“What just happened?” Harry asked quietly.

“I don’t know,” Louis breathed out, feeling terrible. He frowned hard, still facing the lift even though Taylor was long gone before pushing past Harry into the flat and charging towards Ed in the other flat, who was stood in the living room, looking like a hot mess.

“You guys,” Ed said when they walked in.

“What the fuck did you do?” Louis asked angrily. “Why the fuck was she crying?”

“I didn’t mean to,” Ed said, running a hand through his hair. “I didn’t mean for her to get so hurt. I’m sorry.”

“She was crying!” Harry said. “You must have done _something_.”  

Ed sighed, a sense of defeat running through him. “I messed up, okay? I said something I shouldn’t have and I didn’t mean to, but she flipped out and I didn’t know what to do or how to fix it.”

“What did you say, _Ed_?” Louis asked.

“We were talking and I somehow fucked up and told her that when we get married, she won’t have to work because I would take care of it.”

“Oh no,” Harry mumbled.

Ed nodded weakly. “It just came out. She started getting upset after saying that as a woman she would want her own career to fend for herself before relying on her boyfriend for anything. And it just sort of escalated.” Ed rubbed his face and ran a hand through his hair in frustration again. “I feel like she took a piece of my heart with her when she walked out that door.”

“Shut up,” Louis snapped at him, glaring. “I can’t believe you. I didn’t expect you of all people to say something like. I thought you guys were my _otp_.”

“I thought that was Niall and Barbara,” Harry butt in.

“I can have _two otps,_ ” Louis snapped.

“I really didn’t mean it, guys. I swear. I just meant that if it ever came down to something like that, she could rely on me in any way possible.”

Louis sighed, looking over at Harry, who was looking back at him. Their date was supposed to end with them fucking in Harry’s room, loud enough to wake up Niall and piss him off, but it was taking a turn because their friends were in need. While Harry went after Taylor, Louis made Ed hot chocolate to cheer him up and let him wallow and think of ways to get Taylor back.

+++

“I think I like that one,” Harry said, pointing to the filter Louis’d clicked on before the one that was displayed now. Louis pulled his lips in, mulling over the choices, going back and forth between the ones they liked the most before settling on the one Harry liked because that was his choice, too. Harry had impeccable taste in filters.

“What should I caption this?” Louis asked, feeling the arm Harry had slung around him pull him closer, his fingers brushing against Louis’ upper arm.

Harry pulled his bottom lip between his teeth, trying to decide. Louis looked away from his phone and the bubble they formed around themselves to see what else was going on.

Niall and Liam were on the couch across from Harry and Louis, fighting over the remote control for the telly because Niall wanted to watch some Tim Burton movie, even though they creeped Liam out and gave him nightmares. Ed and Zayn were out on the balcony having a smoke and Taylor and Barbara were setting up the table for dinner and gossiping about who knows what. Taylor and Ed kept glancing at each other, pretending they were being discreet about it, but they really weren’t. The two of them had been cordial at most, avoiding one another, even though Ed was trying really hard to talk to her. It surprised Louis that they even agreed to come over and be in the same room together after their fight. He wasn’t complaining, though, because he wanted them to work it out. Ed had been a complete mess, missing and pining over Taylor the past few days, and from what Louis gathered from Harry, Taylor was faring similarly. Besides that, El and her new friend, Dylan, were in the kitchen cooking them all dinner.

It was El’s idea to call everyone over for dinner because she wanted to introduce everyone to Dylan properly since the two of them were close to becoming best mates now. When Dylan greeted everyone, Louis didn’t miss the smirk on Harry’s lips while he hugged her, laughing at Louis for what he’d previously thought about her. Louis had recently told him about her sexuality after El confirmed it to him and Harry laughed for ages saying he totally had a hunch about it but wasn’t sure. He teased Louis relentlessly for hours for getting jealous until Louis wouldn’t stop scowling at him, but then he ate Louis out and Louis got over it. Needless to say, Dylan was actually very cool. She was as funny as El described, making them all laugh from time to time with some offhand comment without even trying, and the two seemed to have really hit it off.

Louis wasn’t jealous or scared that he was losing a best friend or anything, but it was interesting to watch them cooking together because it almost seemed like they were _flirting._ He wouldn’t want to assume, but if hand brushes, casual touches, and smiling at each other shyly before bursting into giggles were anything to go by, he’d say they were. He couldn’t hear anything of what they were saying, but he could only imagine from the pink tint on El’s usual pale cheeks that it must have been good.

“I got it,” Harry said, quiet enough that only Louis could hear, snapping him out of his thoughts. The two of them had their feet propped up on the coffee table and they’d been cuddled up on the couch since Harry’d gotten there, being of absolute no help to the others. Not that Louis cared when Harry kept kissing him and whispering adorable things into his ear, although sometimes it’d be dirty, which Louis never minded. They’d just taken a selfie and were trying to upload it with the perfect filter and caption. It would be their first couple selfie and they were quite excited about it.

Louis looked down at the phone screen and snorted when he saw Harry’d settled on emojis instead of actual words. There was a banana emoji followed by a peach, then a tongue, and lastly a monkey emoji with the hands covering the eyes. It was funny, probably a bit confusing and most likely dirty, knowing Harry.

“I like it,” Louis told him. Harry grinned, pressing on the button to upload it and gave Louis his phone back before kissing his cheek, as if he didn’t just do so just five minutes ago.

“Hey, Louis,” Barbara called from where she was stood. Louis turned to look back at her and she smiled. “Come here for a sec, babe.”

Harry made a small strangled, whiney noise as Louis slowly disentangled himself causing Louis to laugh. Harry schooled his expression into something more challenging and adamant. “You’ll be back,” he said confidently, slightly offended that Louis was making fun of his neediness. Louis blew him a dramatic kiss before walking over to where the girls were and found they were done with setting up the table.

“What’s up?” Louis asked, noticing the smirks on their faces.

“Come here,” Taylor said, tugging on his hand until they were in the kitchen with Dylan and El, who looked up at them as they entered. They were cutting the salad, having set out the lasagna and chicken fresh from the oven to cool for a bit on the counter.

“What’s going on?” Louis asked them with an amused smirk, leaning back against the counter.

“Tell us about you and Harry,” Barbara smiled, sitting up on the counter, her legs swinging in front of her.

“Oh, right,” Dylan said. “You’re the lad he was telling me about when I spoke to him a few weeks ago, aren’t you?”

“What?” Louis cocked his head to the side.

“I was talking to him at one of the frat parties, I think a few days after his birthday, and he was drunk and going _on and on_ about you.”

Louis smiled, pleased with that bit of information. “That’s nice,” he said.

“Nice?” El asked him teasingly. “He’s obsessed with you and you love it. You never told us how it is, like being with him properly. It’s fun to watch. You’re like married almost.”

“Well,” he smiled again, feeling a bit shy all of a sudden. “I mean, we’ve only been official for a few weeks, so I can’t say much. Our first date was fun. We went to dinner and that movie screening at the park. They showed _Dirty Dancing_ and we basically played out the entire thing without actually moving. Other than that, it’s been exactly the same as before we made it official, except now we know what we are to each other.”

“Does it ever kill you that you were oblivious for so long?” Taylor laughed with Barbara. “It must be a bit maddening. I know I’d get mad.”

“I mean, we could have definitely been together a lot longer had we figured our shit out before,” Lous said. “But it’s done with and in the past, so can’t do anything about it. I’m happy, though, to finally be with him.”

The girls gushed and cooed at him while he tried to fight the huge smile on his face. Harry was quickly becoming his favorite topic to talk about and he could only hope he wasn’t as obvious as he felt.

“What’s been your favorite part about it all?” Dylan asked him with this longing look in her eyes, which he was rather curious about.

“I’m not sure,” he said, a bit taken aback by the question because there were so many things about Harry that were his favorite. “Maybe when we hug because it’s quite nice.”

“Your favorite part is hugging him?” Barbara asked, her expression a mix between confused and amused. “I thought you’d say his dick or something.”

The girls laughed at that while Louis shrugged noncommittally because that was true, too. “Yeah, that, too, but I like hugging him. He’s a little over 6 feet, I think, and I’m about 5’8”, so when I hug him, I can hear his heart and it just feels nice.”

The girls cooed again, covering their mouths and looking at him with big, heart eyes, only to be interrupted by Zayn, who walked into the kitchen smelling like smoke, making El wave her hand in front of her face while wrinkling her nose. Zayn chuckled, messing up her hair and making her scowl before facing the rest of them. “What’s going on?” he asked.

“We’re talking to Louis about him and Harry,” Taylor told him.

“Nice, good stuff,” he replied. “But, can we close up the conversation and resume it later _after_ we’ve had dinner because we’re all starving out there and Niall is about to throw a fit.”

“Alright, alright,” Taylor replied, following him out while he carried the dishes to the dining room. “Let’s give Niall the least amount of food for being a brat, though.”

  

+++

**AN: spoilers for the ending of _how i met your mother_ start here!**

The end credits to the last episode of _How I Met Your Mother_ played and there was a moment of silence between Harry and Louis, as they tried to let the ending sink in after months of watching this show together. It was almost uncanny how they’d started watching it at the beginning stages of their friendship and it ran it’s course with them as they became a couple. Weird, that. After a few moments, Louis turned to look at Harry to find he was already looking back at him. They both started laughing softly as Louis started to shut his laptop off.

“That was not what I expected,” Harry said after a while. He was leaning against Louis’ headboard and had an arm resting behind his head, making his muscles bulge, momentarily distracting Louis from forming coherent thoughts or listening to a word he was saying. “They just spent nine seasons finding the mother only to kill her in the end.”

“I mean, the point was to find her,” Louis said, practically having to pry his eyes off of Harry’s arms. “She would have had to die eventually at some point or another in her life.”

“Yeah, but actually showing that part made it so morbid,” Harry replied. “If end game was really going to be Robin, they could have done that in bloody season two.”

Louis put his laptop on his side table before crawling over to Harry, casually straddling his lap, watching the way his lips curved up into a smirk. Harry moved his free hand that wasn’t behind his head to hold Louis’ waist and Louis tried not to squirm and give into temptation because they were adults and they were meant to be having an adult conversation about a television show. Not get distracted by their sexual desires. Nope.  

“It was important to find the mother, though,” Louis said to him. “She married him, they had kids and a life together. And Robin and Ted were really into each other so they were always going to come back to one another if anything happened. Robin was Ted’s one and Ted was Robin’s one.”

“Their one?”

“Like, that one person in your life who you may or may not end up with, but always come back to no matter what. Ted married the mother, but for him it was always Robin. And same goes for Robin, who had married Barney.”

Harry bit his lip, pondering over what Louis’d said, while Louis smoothed out Harry’s hair and played with his curls. He turned back to Louis, eyebrows pinched together. “I suppose you’re right. Gives it a whole new perspective now that I think about it.”

Louis smiled happily, poking his dimples. “Anyway, I’m knackered. Can we go to bed?”

Harry nodded with a slow smile. He leaned forward, giving Louis a kiss before the two of them settled down beside each other under my covers, with Harry’s back to Louis while Louis tangled their limbs together and hugged him from behind.

**AN: end of spoilers lol**

+++

The only noises that could be heard in the quiet of Harry’s bedroom were the sounds of his and Louis’ lips brushing together and their erratic breathing. The room was dark, save for light of the small lamp on Harry’s desk where all of his textbooks and case studies were spread out from when he was doing revision earlier that day. The bay window lit up every few seconds as a car drove by, the headlights shining through and illuminating Harry’s face while he hovered over Louis on the edge of his bed where Louis was perched, leaning up to meet his lips.

“Move back,” Harry mumbled against his mouth, helping Louis scoot back on his bed until he was sprawled out in the center, leaning on his elbows.

Harry’s hand held Louis’ waist in a tight grip as he crawled closer while trying to get his shoes off in the process. Louis giggled, wrapping an arm around the back of his neck, stroking the hairs at the end. “Serves you right for always wearing those boots.”

“Don’t make fun of my boots,” Harry pouted after he was finally able to get them off. He moved forward until Louis was lying down on his back with Harry pressing down on him, kissing him deeply again until Louis forgot what they were talking about, until Louis forgot anything and everything that didn’t have to do with Harry, really.

And it was just nice to keep kissing each other until their lips felt numb and they could hardly breathe because they didn’t want to stop -- not even for a second. It was _always_ nice with Harry because he _always_ tasted so right and sweet. It was nice how their bodies fit together without either of them realizing because when Louis opened his eyes again, he noticed his legs had shifted on their own to either side of Harry’s body, caging him in without even realizing it. Louis crossed his ankles behind Harry’s back to pull him closer, letting his head tilt to the side so that Harry’s lips could reach the crook of his neck. He kissed Louis’ skin softly, nibbling in a way that wouldn’t leave marks, but he knew Louis’d feel nonetheless. When Harry grinded down on him, Louis let out a soft moan, the two of them hard and probably leaking.

“Fuck,” Louis whimpered as Harry continued to move his hips downward. He kissed his way up Louis’ neck to his jaw before meeting his lips again. The kiss didn’t last long before Harry lifted his head up to smile at him.

“I love the way your breathing changes when I touch you and kiss you,” he whispered, kissing the corner of Louis’ mouth. “I want you so bad, Lou.”

“Want you, too,” Louis whispered back slowly. There was nothing urgent or rushed about tonight. They were so content with being wrapped in each other, limbs entangled and breaths mingled, that Louis felt like this moment was either paused or it could go on forever, but he wouldn’t feel bad about it being wasted time because being with Harry was good. It was good and so simple. Feeling this way could never be a waste.

It was simple the way Louis’ eyes met Harry’s across the dark, dimly lit room back at the frat house a few hours ago during their party. It only took one gesture of Harry’s head towards the door for Louis to get up and follow him out. They walked to his car, hand in hand, and their voices quiet as they giggled while joking light heartedly with one another. The drive over to the coffee shop was quiet, too, while a Vance Joy song played on the stereo. Once they got to the coffee shop, they made small talk and drank coffee at midnight before eventually going back to Harry’s place.

And it could be considered a routine for the two of them, but it wasn’t. Nothing between Harry and Louis felt like the same thing twice. Every moment that Louis was around him, or talked to him, or kissed him, or slept with him felt _new_ and Louis wondered when the point would come that he wouldn’t crave this unfamiliarity, that he would actually get used to the way Harry made him feel.

At this rate, it didn’t feel like he ever would. Harry was unlike anyone Louis’d ever met before, unlike anyone he’d ever been with before. They could literally be having amazing sex one minute and then move on to having deep conversations whether it be two AM or two PM. Harry was bright and so lovely in every possible way that Louis couldn’t get over how Harry made him feel and the things he did to him. Especially with the way he was moving his hips with Louis’, making everything in his head draw a blank except for _harryharryharry._

Harry lifted himself off of Louis slowly, untangling Louis’ feet from behind him and scooting over to his side table drawer to grab what Louis could only assume was a condom and lube. Louis waited as patiently as he could, willing his heart rate to slow down and his breaths to come out smoother. When he realized Harry was taking quite longer than necessary, he turned to look at him, moving around to see what what he was doing.

“What is it?” Louis asked, watching as Harry rummaged through his drawer. “Come on already. Want you inside of me.”

Louis heard Harry intake a sharp breath at what he said before letting out a frustrated sigh and fumbling back over to him. “I want to be inside you, too, baby, but unfortunately we’ve run out of condoms.”

Louis’ eyes widened as he stared at Harry. Didn’t they go buy a pack, like, just the other day? Was someone stealing their condoms because Louis couldn’t remember if they’d had that much sex? There were a few days where it would happen more than once, but not _that_ many times. Maybe Louis was underestimating them and their ability to have athletic rounds of sex. Harry didn’t look as confused as Louis felt. In fact, he looked rather upset sitting beside Louis with nothing in his hands and a raging boner in his pants.

“Are you sure you checked properly?”

Harry nodded. “The box is empty. Do you have any on you?”

Louis shook his head in response, trying not to look at the bulge in Harry’s pants. “Maybe one or two fell out?”

“I checked,” he said with a shake of his head. “We’re out and I think I’m going to cry.”

“Well fuck.”

“I know.”

“Now what?”

Harry was quiet for a bit, shrugging before letting out a guttural groan and moving back between Louis’ legs. “Wanna come so bad.”

One of Harry’s hands came up to the side of Louis’ head and he slightly tilted it to kiss him square on the mouth, dipping his tongue in right away, enthusiastically. Louis shifted up to wrap his legs around him again and met his hips right where it felt the best, right where it sent shocks of pleasure to the core of his stomach, making him wish so bad that there wasn’t any clothing between their bodies. That didn’t come as a shock, though. Louis was becoming increasingly biased towards how he preferred Harry because he always wanted Harry to just be naked. Not for sex, but because he was so fucking beautiful when he was all skin and nothing else. There wasn’t a part of him that Louis didn’t find attractive or aesthetically pleasing.

Their movements started to become more rushed, more desperate as time wore on. It was almost embarrassing how they were rutting against each other like horny teenagers because they were so turned on and knew they had no other option other than this. When Louis felt himself coming after a rather rough slide, he stilled below Harry, though Harry continued once, twice, thrice before coming in his pants as well.

They were both left panting, staring at each other with heavy lidded eyes before laughing quietly. Harry grinned, his dimples poking through, before kissing Louis quickly and rolling off of him. “That was fun,” he mumbled, tugging on the hem of his t-shirt and throwing it on the floor.

“Super,” Louis replied, feeling himself slowly coming down from the high and instead felt rather icky with come in his pants. “Could go again, but feel kind of gross.”

“Me too,” Harry agreed softly, rolling on to his side so that he was looking at Louis with big doe, green eyes. Louis bit his lip, moving his hand up and letting a finger trace over the bow of Harry’s pink, wet lips. He smiled contently at the touch, letting his eyes drift shut until Louis spoke up again.

“I’ve been thinking that I want to get a check up and test myself.”

“Yeah?” Harry asked, glancing over at him.

“Yeah...and maybe you could come with me, too, to get tested. So, we could...you know.”

Harry’s eyes flew open immediately, wide and surprised, as he looked at Louis for confirmation as to whether or not he’d really just said that. It almost made Louis laugh, but he realized it wasn’t the time or place because this was actually a serious conversation. It was also something he had been considering for a while. He’d never done it without a condom before, but he knew Taylor was on the pill, which she said had made it convenient for whenever her and Ed had sex, and _a lot_ more enjoyable. It was only then that Louis started to entertain the idea of doing it raw. If what he shared with Harry in bed was something that was already on some next level shit, then imagine what it could be when they didn’t have to worry about condoms and things like that.

“Yeah?” Harry asked again.

“I’ve been thinking about not using a condom anymore,” Louis said. “Like, for the past few days. Is that -- is that something you’d want, too?”

“I haven’t really thought about it,” Harry said slowly, but then smiled. “But that does sound pretty great. We wouldn’t have to worry about running out of condoms.”

Louis nodded, a small smile on his lips as well. “And everyone says it feels better without.”

“Have you ever done it without a condom?” Harry asked Louis.

Louis shook his head slowly. “Have you?”

Harry shook his head. “No, never.”

Louis didn’t want Harry to know how much of a relief that was for him because that was one of the only things that was bothering him about this whole thing. Harry had been extremely sexually active right before he got with Louis and he wasn’t sure if he was being safe about it. Knowing that he was safe was just another reason for Louis to believe this was a good idea and want it that much more. This whole thing was about trusting the person you’re with and wanting to heighten what you share with each other. And if Louis was going to have that with anyone, he wanted it to be Harry.

Louis smiled, rolling over so that he was lying flat on top of Harry. Harry caught him by his waist quick and secure before smiling up at him. Their warm breaths surrounded them, heating everything up, as Louis’ legs slid on either of Harry’s body.

“So, we’ll go this week,” he said.

“We’ll go this week,” Harry confirmed.

+++

 

Louis giggled, snorting at Harry’s response before putting his phone down on the bed beside him. Despite what he’d said about being sleepy and despite what Harry asked of him, Louis got out of bed, slipping on a pair of Harry’s plaid boxers and his white t-shirt. While Harry’s bed was soft, warm and smelled just like him, Louis’ stomach was killing him to get something to eat. He slowly padded out of Harry’s room, making his way over to the kitchen where he found Ed standing over the hob making eggs. He wondered what happened to Ed’s own kitchen, but decided not to ask because it wasn’t uncommon for the boys to use both their flats as though they all lived together.

“Morning,” Louis said to him.

Ed looked up and gave him a nod before looking back down at his eggs. “Morning,” he replied, voice hoarse. “Didn’t know you were in. Want anything?”

“A bit of eggs and toast,” Louis replied. “I’ll make the toast, though.” Ed grumbled in response, continuing with what he was doing while Louis maneuvered his way around the kitchen to grab bread and pop it in the toaster.

Louis eyed Ed as discreetly as he could. He hadn’t been well since his fight with Taylor. She hadn’t been at the party last night and Ed had gotten gloriously drunk again for the fourth night in a row. Harry was telling Louis that they were all concerned he was going to go into alcoholic shock or something worse at the rate he was going at. Louis also knew Ed wasn’t talking to him properly not just because he wasn’t in the mood, but also because his voice was just shot. Ed could hardly speak from all the drinking he’d been doing and his immune system was just going to let up eventually if he didn’t stop.

Louis leaned against the counter, facing Ed where he was stood, determined to try. “So, uh, Ed. How are things?” he asked.

He gave Louis a bored look. “How do you think?” he asked flatly.

“Not good then,” Louis concluded with a humorless laugh. “Listen, Ed -- I know you’ve been trying really hard with Taylor, but just give her some more time. She’ll come around because she loves you. Prove yourself to her.”

“You don’t think I’ve tried?” Ed snapped, turning to look at him. “You were there, Louis. I was standing outside your flat singing “Sorry” by fucking Justin Bieber at the top of my lungs while fucking Harry held up the instrumental playing on his phone next to me.”

Louis almost laughed out loud at the memory because it happened _exactly_ like that. A few days ago while Taylor had been staying over at their place, Ed had shown up (very drunk) with Harry in tow and tried to serenade her outside their balcony. The entire building had woken up and complained about calling the police because it was well past three in the morning, but Ed was relentless until Taylor went down and told him to leave herself. It was a low blow and Louis felt genuinely bad for him because he was trying so fucking hard. He was trying to think of every grand gesture in the book to make her realize how sorry he was, but Taylor was hellbent on being angry at him for what he’d said to her.

“Look,” Louis said to Ed. “I know you’ve tried, but you have to keep trying if you feel for Taylor the way we all know you do. Don’t give up is all I’m saying, however, don’t let it destroy you. You don’t want her to get angry at you about anything else, like endangering your health. You know she’d be furious if she found out about what’s been going on lately with you drinking so much.”

“I know,” he said glumly, looking down at the pan. “She cares, I know she does.” He looked up to meet Louis’ eyes. “And I won't give up, just so you know.”

“Happy about that,” Louis said to him with a smile. Ed managed to crack him one back and they went back to breakfast; making small talk about school, their families and the weather while preparing it. Ed’s eggs were looking great, but Louis had managed to burn every piece of toast he made by the time the front door opened and Harry strolled in.

Louis turned to greet him, only to drop the toast in his hand on the floor.

Harry was stood there in nothing but a pair of white running shorts, paired off with a green snapback worn backwards over his hair to push back his curls, and his neon yellow sneakers. And Louis had seen him naked before, _countless_ times, but there was something so breathtaking about him standing there with perspiration running down his well defined abs and chest, which was crazy because sweat was meant to be gross. No one was supposed to find sweat and perspiration _sexy_. However, Louis wasn’t supposed to find the fact that Harry had four nipples hot either, yet here they were. And he wondered what it meant to love the flaws of a person; whether or not they were _really_ flaws if you loved them.

“Jesus,” Ed muttered, breaking Louis out of his trance and picking up the burnt toast that he’d dropped. “You look parched, Louis. Should I get you a tall glass of water to quench the thirst?”

Louis visibly shook and tried to compose himself, leaning back against the counter again and licking his lips that had dropped open when Harry walked in. Ed wasn’t kidding when he said Louis looked parched because he _felt_ it.

He was so _embarrassing_ sometimes, but it helped with the way Harry was looking at him; so knowing, so smug and so into it, too. He walked over to Louis, closing the distance between them and wrapping an arm around his waist before kissing him soundly on the lips. Louis placed his hands on Harry’s defined jaw, tilting his head to the side so that he could taste the saltiness on Harry’s lips and his tongue, enjoying it way more than he really should. He thought back to their text conversation a little while ago and wondered if Harry got the condoms or not, whether or not Louis could convince him to go for a round before taking a shower.

“That is so gross,” Ed said to them with a mouthful of eggs while sitting at the table. “Please stop. My heart is fragile.”

Harry smiled against Louis’ lips and pulled away reluctantly. “Sorry, Ed. Have a good sleep?”

“Subpar,” he replied.

Harry snorted. “What’s for breakfast then?” he asked, opening the fridge and pulling out some juice straight from the container. “I’m starving.”

“I made eggs,” Ed replied promptly. “Your boyfriend made burnt toast.”

Louis glared at Ed because he was eating that _burnt toast_ like a hypocrite. Nonetheless, Harry picked up a piece of Louis’ toast and ate it happily, giving Louis an encouraging smile. That was seemingly Ed’s final straw as he grumbled about being nauseated and got up to eat the rest of his breakfast in his own flat for a change. Neither Harry or Louis tried to stop him, instead smiled at each other from opposite counters.

“Have a good run?” Louis asked him.

Harry nodded. “Was good. There’s a game coming up against Oxford -- another homecoming one -- and I wanted to stay on top of my workout regime so I can have a repeat of the last home game.”

Louis’ mind immediately thought back to the last time the boys had a home game. What a night that was. It was cold, loud and crowded. Louis almost laughed at the difference between how things were a mere two to three months ago as to how they were now because so much had changed. Louis remembered back then he could barely admit to himself how he felt about Harry. They’d never kissed, touched, or looked at each other longer than a friend should. Louis’d never felt how mad Harry could drive him by simply looking at him or touching him. He also remembered the girls who were there, cheering and pining for Harry to notice them, hoping to pull him for the night. Louis was so fucking _jealous_ and he couldn’t even admit it.

And it was just strange how it wasn’t even that long ago that that had happened, but it felt like a lifetime had passed since.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Harry asked, snapping Louis out of his memories.

Louis smiled up at him, teasing and shy. “Just remembering that first home game.”

“Wasn’t it a good night?” he asked with a dimpled, excited grin. “I scored an actual goal, something I hadn’t done in any game in my prior three years. Incredible -- and remember your sign?”

Louis smiled at that because he did remember; remembered the way Harry’d smiled at him from across the field and blew a kiss right at him, making his heart beat a little faster. “Yeah,” Louis nodded. “That was a good one. I’m mostly thinking about the girls that were there for you, though.”

Harry frowned slightly, confused and inquiring as he looked at Louis. “Girls?”

“There was a crowd of girls at that game desperate to hook up with you that night.”

“Really?” he asked, cocking his head to the side as though he was trying to remember.

Louis laughed at him, nodding. “Yeah. Pretty sure I saw you kiss one of them, too.”

Harry’s eyebrows were puckered and he was pinching his bottom lip with his thumb and forefinger, still trying to remember what it was that Louis was talking about before he looked up. “Is it horrible that I can’t remember? Like I’m pretty sure I was incredibly pissed after the game at the bar.”

Louis laughed out loud again, shrugging. “I mean for them it’s probably horrible. Not for me, though.”

He smiled, moving so that he was standing in front of Louis with his hands on either side of the counter, caging him in. “You know I don’t care about those girls. Only care about you, Lou.”

“You better,” Louis teased, running a finger down his now dry, smooth chest, tracing the sparrow tattoos.

“I do,” Harry replied, leaning into his touch. “I want everyone to know, too.”

Louis giggled at him. “What, like, make a sign that says I’m yours? That’s weird.”

“No,” he shook his head. “You could make a sign if you wanted, but I want you to wear my jersey to the game.”

Louis’ eyes widened a bit as he stared at Harry, only to realize he was being completely serious, which only made Louis feel more shy. “Wear your jersey?”

Harry grinned, nodding his head. “You’ll not only look sexy, but everyone will know I’m yours. Plus, it helps that I find you so hot when you wear my clothes. They always look good on you.”

“Sounds fair,” Louis mumbled, feeling the blush rise to his cheeks at the thought of everyone knowing, of being so bold and open about what they meant to each other.

“Can I tell you something?” Harry asked.

“Anything.”

“I have this sort of fantasy of you riding me wearing nothing but your lacy knickers and my jersey.”

If Louis wasn’t blushing before, he was definitely blushing now, feeling the warmth spread all over his face. Louis ducked his head, hiding his face and letting out a breathy laugh, trying to avoid Harry’s eyes. Harry was relentless, though, ducking his head to catch Louis’ gaze.

“It’d be so fucking hot, Lou.”

Louis let out another shaky breath before looking back up at Harry again, a bit more confidently. “Score a goal at the next game and we’ll see if your fantasy can become a reality,” he teased.

Harry grinned, lips tugging at one end more than the other in that maddeningly, frustratingly attractive way of his. “You’re on, Tommo,” he said. “Challenge accepted.”

With that he turned around, leaving Louis feeling breathless without even touching him. Louis watched as he walked slowly towards his bedroom, his back more muscular than Louis remembered. Harry always had an attractive back, his shoulders broad and sturdy with a narrow, perfectly framed waist.

“It’s gonna be legend -- wait for it,” Harry said, strolling into his room and disappearing behind it. Louis frowned, following him with a small smile on his lips. When he walked into Harry’s room, looking around for him, Harry jumped out from behind the door completely naked where he’d been hiding. Louis turned to face him, a laugh on his lips, before Harry pulled him in for a kiss and whispered, “-- dary.”

Louis couldn’t believe Harry just dropped not one, but two _How I Met Your Mother_ lines on him and left him feeling so fucking turned on. It was sick and an abuse of power. Now all Louis could think about was his game night and whether or not he’d score a goal.

Regardless, some part of Louis told him that even if Harry didn’t score that goal during the game, Louis was still going to end up riding him wearing nothing but lingerie and his jersey with _STYLES_ written on it.

+++

 

Harry _didn’t_ score a goal during the homecoming game.

Liam and another teammate did.

That didn’t mean he didn’t try, though. Harry put in a lot of effort, instead helping out on the field as much as he could, trying to block and steal the ball from the opposing team. Louis had walked into the stadium with all of his friends wearing Harry’s jersey, his name and number emblazoned on the back, with the same sign he’d made all those months ago to encourage him. Louis definitely caught the eye of more than just Harry. People around them were noticing and whispering amongst themselves. Louis didn’t get a chance to really think about it, not with the way Harry was looking at him from across the field.

It was ninety minutes of heated gazes and sexual tension that could be felt from miles away, including during the fifteen minute break in between.

When the buzzer went off, signaling the end of the game with a score of 2-1 in favor of their team, the stadium was ecstatic. Cheers rang from end to end, while the team hugged and congratulated each other. There were streamers and balloons and confetti everywhere, some people even brought water guns, spraying everyone until they were soaking wet. Winning this game was a huge deal, so it was with pride and enthusiasm that they celebrated.

Once it died down, people started to leave as the team walked towards the locker rooms to change. Harry turned to look at Louis once more before going inside, blowing him a kiss and walking inside, leaving Louis feeling flustered and giddy for tonight. The two of them had gotten their test results back and were thankfully clean meaning tonight was going to be _the night_.

+++

The celebration that followed the game made its way to the campus bar and two hours in, they were all pleasantly buzzed and relaxing around their booth with pints in front of each of them. All the other team players and a few other students were crowded inside, drinking and talking while some overplayed Big Sean song played on the speakers. Louis was sat between Liam and Harry, Harry’s arm slung around him while he thumbed away on his phone with the other.

Across from them, El and Max, who she invited, were sat laughing about whatever inside joke they shared between each other. Louis’d been watching them the entire night -- at the game and at the bar -- to possibly look for clues as to what could be their deal. For the most part, it just looked normal -- _too_ normal, though. As though Max was just one of the guys and El wasn’t dating him at all, which he didn’t understand because they _did_ go on dates. El talked to him about things, they laughed together all the time and seemed to be in good spirits all around, but what it lacked was intimacy. And what was a relationship without at least a bit of intimacy shared between the two people. Nonetheless, Louis knew El was brilliant and would figure out whatever it was that was going on sooner or later, even though it was becoming a bit more apparent to him day by day when he watched how she was with Dylan versus how she was with Max. Louis just hoped she wouldn’t do something she’d regret, ultimately leading her to to lose either one of them as a friend.

Further down from them, the booth was at a much more tense standpoint. Taylor and Ed were sitting across from each other beside Niall, Barbara, and Zayn, and nobody had realized the seating arrangements had worked out that way. Once it was done, though, it was too weird to actually get up and switch around, so nobody did. Instead, there was a stilt in the conversation on their end and the air was awkward and strained.

Louis was in the middle of asking Liam to take a picture of him and Harry when Taylor let out an audible gasp. They all froze, turning to her, following her gaze to the front of the bar where none other than Charles walked in. Louis was momentarily confused as to what he could be doing at their campus bar when he went to Oxford, which only then made sense because the game tonight was against _them_.

“Fuck,” Taylor mumbled over and over again. “Fuck, fuck, _fuck.”_

“Calm down,” Ed said to her hurriedly, albeit in a calm, soothing tone. “He’s not going to talk to you. Don’t worry.”

“Um -- yeah, he will,” she retorted, eyes wide and paranoid. “You don’t know him. He’s fucking terrible. He’ll talk to me even if it means going out of his way to do so just because he’s so fucking full of himself and can’t see past his ego.”

“Well, I won’t let him,” Ed replied right away, his jaw tensing and his brows furrowing, determined to make her believe and trust him. Louis wondered if either of them realized that they just went from fighting and not speaking to each other to having an actual conversation as though they were still together, which he guessed they technically were since a breakup was never confirmed. Either way it was so sweet to see Ed standing up for her without a single moment of thought. He was ready to defend her to the ends of the Earth.

It was then that Charles looked over, his eyes landing on their table and walking over. The rest of them watched on in silence, waiting with bated breath for whatever was about to go down.

Liam snickered beside Louis, childishly. “It’s Harry’s blonde twin,” he singsonged.

Harry leaned over Louis to smack Liam on the back of the head, glaring at him. Liam winced and rubbed over the spot. He almost went to retaliate back, but then Charles stopped at their booth.

“Taylor,” Charles smiled. “Lovely seeing you here.”

And it was so sad because Taylor looked worn down already. Her short, blond hair was disheveled from the amount of times she ran a hand through it since Charles had walked into the bar and not to mention her eyes were sunken and tired from a few sleepless nights (which she wouldn’t admit were because she missed Ed). “You, too. Didn’t know you’d come,” she replied in a small voice.

“My mate’s on the footie team,” Charles told her, looking around at the rest of them in low key detest. Charles had that kind of face; the kind that made it seem like he thought everyone around him was beneath him and he was better. He was an arrogant, egotistical bastard and Louis was already ready for him to walk the fuck out of this bar and he had only just got there.

“Oh, alright,” Taylor replied.

Across from her, Ed was watching Charles with a calculated look. When Charles glanced over at him, he had a knowing look on his face before addressing Taylor again. “So, just wanted to come say hi. You look good, you know -- for the most part -- a bit messy, though. Have you put on weight or summat?”

An instant silence took over the table, even though none of them were really talking to begin with. Everyone froze in their seats, holding their breaths, wondering how the fuck someone could be such a fucking moron _and_ be an Oxford student at the same time because surely they were meant to be smart, not this fucking idiotic? Taylor looked just as taken aback as everyone, her cheeks coloring as she gaped up at the boy she probably once loved. And it wasn’t slow or calculated the way Ed stood up and punched Charles square on the jaw, making the douchebag fall to the floor. It was quick and hard, like Ed had been waiting to do that for ages and he took the opportunity as fast as he could.

Just like that the silence was gone and the entire place was in an uproar because there was an actual _fight_ happening _._ They all scrambled out of their seats and tried to see over the crowd of people as Ed lifted Charles up on his feet, only to give him another blow to knock him the fuck back down again. Louis spotted Taylor right behind Ed, gaping at him with wide, scared eyes as she watched the boy she was currently dating beating the living shit out of her ex-boyfriend.

“Don’t you _ever_ fucking dare talk to her again -- _ever_ in your fucking life or I swear on me mam, I’ll fuckin’ wreck you,” Ed shouted at him, kicking at Charles’ crumpled body on the dirty bar floor.

“Holy shit,” Zayn mumbled, looking amused and _entertained_. It was so like him to enjoy this because he was never dramatic, but he enjoyed the drama around him. Meanwhile Liam, Niall and Harry were both shocked and concerned, trying to figure out whether they should stop Ed or let him deal with this on his own because it was a long time coming. Louis, on the other hand, was stood up on the table, cheering Ed on and actually giving him instructions on how to beat Charles up.

“Drag that fucking dick, Ed!” Louis yelled. “Drag his arse to hell and back!”

Charles managed to lift himself up, albeit with a bloody nose and a busted lip, with much difficulty before shoving at Ed. “You filthy beer-stained failure of a bastard. How dare you touch me?” he snarled at Ed. “Keep the fuck away from me because God knows I’ll catch whatever disease you have. Who knows what that slut, Taylor, gave you?”

Ed looked almost scary as his face turned even redder from anger. “Ya sodding fucking arse,” he shouted, throwing another punch to knock Charles down again, this time aiming for his dick. It only seemed to get louder after that, people shouting and screaming around them. El shook Liam and Harry’s arms, turning them to face her.

“Get Ed to fucking stop otherwise he’ll be arrested or worse before he kills the fuck tard,” she told them with wide eyes. “Go, go!”

She shoved the two boys towards Ed, who was full on brawling with Charles, even though Charles was a wuss and couldn’t manage to throw even one punch. Harry and Liam grabbed Ed on either side, pulling him back and off of the boy on the floor. Ed let himself be pulled back with only some restraint, his red hair wild and his face pink, breathing out heavily as he slumped against two of his best mates.  

“Have fun fucking my dirty leftovers, you fucking dick,” Charles told him as he lifted himself up off the floor for the upteenth time that night.

His friends came around to help him, the group of them turning around to leave the bar, laughing as though he didn’t just get his arse beat. Louis almost thought it was over and everything would calm down again, but then Taylor stepped forward, tapping Charles on the shoulder once and making him turn around.

Charles turned around, his expression turned sour when he saw who it was while everyone quieted down again for a moment. “Oh god, what do you want now?” he asked her.

Taylor rolled her eyes once before rounding her fist and hitting him right on the jaw, causing him to stumble back and fall on top of his friends. The bar erupted in cheers and screams again, which only got louder when Taylor turned around and walked right up to Ed, jumped up into his arms and kissing him in the most theatrical way possible.

And just like that, everything was okay again with Louis’ otp.

  

+++

Harry was sprawled out on the bed in front of Louis, barenaked and just as beautiful as always. Louis was sat on his lap, placed neatly over Harry’s hips while his legs were on either side of his body. Just like Louis had promised, he was wearing Harry’s jersey with red lacy knickers Harry’d helped Louis choose one day when they were shopping. He scoured the racks, putting everything he liked into their basket unashamedly while Louis followed him around with an ever present blush on his cheeks.

Being on top of Harry, while kissing down the expanse of his body made Louis feel powerful. Everything about this night made him feel that way and he had no idea what to do with the fact that he had this sort of effect on Harry. They had walked to his flat after leaving the bar. The two of them had taken off their clothes slowly and it was only then that Louis realized _how much_ Harry wanted this.

His eyes were hooded, dark and transfixed as he watched Louis take off his pants and make his way over to Harry’s bed. Harry followed him soon after, kissing Louis until Louis put him down in the position he was in currently. Harry gave in so easily, pliant and soft, as Louis moved him whichever way he pleased. Louis knew Harry was restraining himself from rushing through this because he was so hard, erection curved red and angry, lying against his stomach and Louis had barely touched him yet. He, himself, wasn’t faring so well, either. His dick was hard and leaking into the soft silk of his knickers. It was a surprise, too, because he opened himself up before the game to prep himself and came then. He had figured he’d be able to hold off longer because of that, but it wasn’t looking to be that way and he blamed it all on Harry looking the way he did under him.

That didn’t mean he didn’t want to drag this out, though.

Louis took time in kissing him -- wherever he could reach. He kissed Harry’s lips, down his jaw, neck, collarbones, chest, nipples, stomach, navel, until he was sucking a bruise on the skin right beside his thin happy trail, eyeing his prick. It was a bit shameless how quick Louis’d be to admit that he _really_ liked going down on Harry. He didn’t always used to enjoy sucking someone off, but as of late, he couldn’t get over how good it was when it was Harry. Harry took care of himself, his diet and cleanliness included, making it good for anyone who had the opportunity, but especially for Louis. He liked it more with Harry than anyone else because he truly wanted to please him, and found the sight of Harry in pure ecstasy because of him so hot.

And as far as Louis could tell, Harry enjoyed it when Louis did it, too. He’d told him before how good he thought Louis was and Louis was confident about it enough that he could openly admit that he liked it just as much as Harry did. It didn’t hurt matters that Harry looked so unbelievably gorgeous laid out underneath him, either. Louis moved his lips away from the small mark he left on Harry’s skin, watching the way Harry stayed still and looked at him while Louis kissed him, closer and closer to his dick.

As expected, Harry was responsive to every touch and every kiss, letting out choked moans and muttering things that Louis couldn’t make out. It was almost ruthless how slow he was being about it because Harry was flushed and tempting and Louis wanted him so bad, but couldn’t help but revel in the build up to it. One of his hands moved over and palmed Harry, circling his fingers around the base before brushing the head of his cock between his lips and pulling right back off. Louis held on, keeping him still against his bottom lip before darting out his tongue to get a taste. Harry’s eyes rolled back and drifted shut as Louis took him down again, far enough to make Harry choke out a breath and shift his hips up against Louis’ mouth.

Louis pulled back, breathless and stunned at Harry for doing that so quickly without any preamble before licking his lips and going down again, lips wrapping around him tightly. It was just as good as it always was. Harry tasted good, albeit a little salty, leaking against Louis’ tongue, and he felt _so_ heavy and full in his mouth that Louis had to restrain himself from getting impatient as well. Harry had both of his hands in Louis’ hair, fisting it and trying so hard not to pull while he tried to watch Louis with blown eyes.

“Fuck -- you are so -- _fuck_ , Lou,” Harry groaned out, but kept cutting himself off because he just couldn’t find the words while rocking his hips up. Louis sputtered and pulled off slightly, taking a deep, shallow breath. He continued to drag his mouth up and down Harry’s shaft, lips making a wet sound at the top, while pumping him from his base up to whatever he couldn’t reach.

At some point, Louis looked up through his wet lashes to meet Harry’s gaze, watching Harry look back at him. Soft whimpers and moans left his lips as he restrained himself from full on fucking into Louis’ mouth. His eyes, which were once green, were now so dark that Louis couldn’t see the color around his pupils. It was enough to cause more precome to dribble out of his own cock, starting to feel like he couldn’t avoid it any longer. Louis pulled off momentarily, keeping his eyes on Harry as he swiped his tongue along the underside, dragging it up in a slow and tantalizing way over the vein.

“Shit -- fuck, Louis,” Harry said, voice hoarse and raspy while his own hand shot down to the base to pump himself because he couldn’t take it anymore. Louis quickly moved his hand away, hearing Harry groan in response when his head fell back on the pillow. The thing was, Louis wanted to make this good for him. So good that that if Harry ever had someone else’s lips on him, he’d only ever get off to the thought of blue eyes looking up at him with his hands fisted in feathery, brown hair.

“Let me,” Louis whispered to him before lowering his mouth over Harry again. After that, Harry’s restraint was completely gone and he rocked his hips up into Louis mouth, albeit slowly, trying not to moan as loud as he was. However, it only got louder when Louis started humming around him, the vibrations sending Harry closer to the edge.

He would have continued, gone on until Harry came into his mouth, but then Harry stilled. “Wait -- stop,” he rasped out. “Louis, no.”

Louis lifted his head up, looking up at Harry as Harry pulled him up to crawl over his body. Harry kissed him on the lips, swiping his tongue against Louis’. “Can we fuck?” Harry asked after a moment, pulling his lips off of Louis’, making him chase them because Louis wasn’t done. “I wanna fuck you.”

Louis nodded, kissing Harry for a few more seconds before sitting up on his stomach, restraining him from moving or gaining any friction where he needed it most. Harry’s hands stroked up Louis’ legs, hair disheveled and fucked out, as he smiled up at him. “Want you to ride me, please. Please, Lou.”

“Want that, too,” Louis said softly. “Promised you, didn’t I?”

“I didn’t score a goal, though.” He looked dejected and actually upset about that even though his team won. Louis stroked over his face and ran his fingers through his curly hair, until he looked Louis in the eye.

“Doesn’t matter,” Louis shook his head. “You did so good, Harry. Want to do it for you and with no condom.”

That brought a wicked grin on Harry’s face. “Let’s get the lube then. I’ll open you up.”

Louis shook his head slowly. “No need.” Harry tilted his head to the side in confusion and Louis smiled mischievously. “Already opened myself up before the game and came while thinking of you.” Harry’s eyes widened comically at that as he let out a soft whimper, probably picturing Louis’s pre-game activities.

He pulled Louis down by the back of his neck, kissing him deeply, all the while managing to push aside the thin, soft fabric of his knickers and helping him slide down on him. They were both panting by the time Louis was fully seated on Harry’s cock, even though it was done slowly. Louis shifted experimentally before finding a rhythm and pace he was comfortable with, watching the way Harry’s lips parted every single time their hips met.

It was almost more real without a condom. Louis could really _feel_ Harry completely and it took things up another level. The glide of Harry slipping in and out of him was pushing Louis closer and closer to the edge, no matter how slow he went. He tried to focus on the way Harry looked at him and how Louis felt like what they had between them was as big as the world. Only then, though, the closer Louis got, the more he felt like it was probably bigger than the whole universe. It was bigger than the universe in that it could not only be felt during the simplest of times, but also seen in the dark and heard in the silence.

Louis kept breathing out Harry’s name every so often, his hips swiveling down in slow circles to keep up the pace as much as he could. It was a lot more work than he was cut out for and Louis could feel himself getting more and more exhausted, so much so that at some point, he was slumped up against Harry’s chest, panting harshly.  

The two of them giggled at that, hips still moving rhythmically as Harry thrusted up into him. Louis tried to pull himself back up again to keep going, but then Harry pulled him off and rolled them around so that Louis was on his back. Harry sat back on his haunches for a moment, pulling the jersey off of Louis and practically ripping his knickers completely off his legs. Louis only got a second to keep up before Harry was back inside him in a deep, rough thrust. Louis let out a strangled, quiet moan, moving against Harry to keep going. His hands came up to wrap around his back, nails leaving angry red marks like he always did when Harry got like this, desperate for some release.

“Wanna know what I thought about when I saw you walk into the stadium today?” Harry asked him, pushing in and out of Louis.

“What?” Louis breathed out.

“I saw you walk in -- wearing my jersey, looking so fucking beautiful and I knew I wanted to fuck you tonight till you screamed, but I also wanted to hold you in my arms and give you everything you wanted because you deserve that. You’re so fucking good in bed and so fucking special to me. You’re my best friend.”

Louis’ lips parted in response in an audible moan and his eyes drifted shut the more Harry pounded into him. When he picked up the pace even more, it did make Louis scream, letting out a raspy shout as he came with a shudder. Harry came right after, not hurrying to pull out of Louis because they were so caught up in each other. His come felt warm as it spread inside of Louis and they both looked at each other, completely overwhelmed with the incredible sex they just had. They were overwhelmed with how much they felt for each other. Harry’s lips were everywhere, hands were everywhere; kissing and touching wherever he could reach.

And the only thought in Louis’ head was, yeah, bigger than the universe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you liked it! let me know your thoughts :))  
>   
> [tumblr](http://quitefinishedlarry.tumblr.com/) / [fic page](http://quitefinishedlarry.tumblr.com/yail) / [chapter post](http://quitefinishedlarry.tumblr.com/post/139322839595/fic-you-are-in-love-author-wildestdreams)


	19. the one where liam and zayn kiss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys! sorry for the delay in updating. last week was a bit hectic, but with the help of [mac's](http://realitybetterthanfiction.tumblr.com/) i'm here and i've got a whole new ch! it's p long and it's fun and something big happens towards the end. thank you so much! and please the boost this fic up if you can :) i hope you like it!!!!

“Are we there yet?”

“No, _Liam_ ,” Harry gritted with his most annoyed expression while looking at Liam through the rearview mirror. “For the millionth time, we _aren’t_ there yet. We haven’t even driven past the sign that welcomes us into the city for Christ’s sake.”

Liam groaned loudly in the backseat, throwing his head back against the headrest and looking out the window moodily. Beside him, Zayn had his head resting on Liam’s shoulder while sleeping with his mouth wide open and a little drool dripping out from the corner. On Zayn’s other side was El, curled up with her feet up on his lap and mouthing along to the Saylor Twift CD she had made Harry put on during the drive.

Harry and Louis were sat up front. Harry was driving with a hand on the wheel and the other reaching across the console to hold onto Louis’. Louis played with Harry’s fingers distractedly, trying to pass time while Harry and Liam bickered on and off. It was all banter and with love, of course. They were given a week off from Uni due to Easter hols and while they were all going to go home to spend it with their families, Niall suggested they do a quick group trip to get smashed and party for three days before returning home. After very little debate, they all agreed, like they did to most of the ideas Niall came up with.

The trip wasn’t long -- max four hours. They’d only made two pit stops, but only because the other car -- which was Ed’s and held Taylor, Barbara and Niall -- had to stop because Niall kept having to piss. None of them wanted to leave without the other, so they’d all stopped and ended up spending longer than necessary in front of the register to grab as much candy and snacks as they could find. Louis was big on the M&M’s and bought about five packets of those, but only because everyone was mooching them off of him and he had to share.

Louis turned to look at Harry, studying his profile for a moment before asking, “So, explain to me again where you’re going to be living now?”

Harry looked off the road for a second, meeting Louis’ eyes, before looking back. He looked tired. His eyes were puffy around the edges and so green that Louis could hardly spot his pupils unless he looked really hard. His lips were chapped and probably cold because Liam had demanded he turn up the air conditioner. “One of the frat brothers -- Greg, I don’t know if you remember him -- left. He transferred out and everything and they had an extra room. Nick offered me the room.”

“That was all favoritism,” Liam piped up indignantly from the back again. “I very well needed that room because have you seen where I live? I’ve got the smallest room in the flat and I live with the most messiest and the most high maintence guys in the world. I _deserved_ that room.”

“Oi, shut the fuck up,” Zayn mumbled, having heard Liam insult him, before slurping up his drool and turning to get comfortable on El’s shoulder.

“It’s true,” Liam insisted. “Nick played favoritism because Harry’s his favorite.”

“Are you implying I’m not worthy for a room in the frat house, _Liam_?” Harry frowned. “Is that what you’re implying because if yes, then I’m going to have to ask you to pipe the fuck down. I’m just as worthy as you.”

“Bad man,” Liam snickered at that.

Harry tried to hide the smile on his face before switching lanes on the freeway and continuing to keep up with the other car. “Besides, I’m not staying there all the time and you’d know that if you didn’t interrupt me. You can share with me if you want. We can split it and all.”

“You mean that?” Liam asked warily, like he was suspicious of Harry’s intentions.

“Yeah,” Harry replied surely. “I’m only going to be staying some nights, like when I need to wake up early for morning classes since campus is closer to the frat house than our building is, or when I’m too drunk to walk home, or Louis and I can’t make it to either of our flats because we can’t wait any longer.”

Liam gagged while Louis preened at Harry for thinking about them and what would be most convenient. It came as a surprise when Harry had mentioned to him that morning that he might be moving to the frat house. It was really crowded in there. Louis knew several of the boys, like Andy and Josh, who lived there and it was a constant pig stye, too. It also always smelled like stale beer and macaroni and cheese. Louis wondered if Harry could survive that mess because he was one of the cleanest people Louis knew.

“So, let me get this straight. We stay there, but only half the time and if either of us want to shag in there, the other one has to split?” Liam asked just to make sure.

“Right -- well, obviously. I was going to stay there partially as it is because I like my own room at the flat too much to let it go. I only took it up because I thought why not? Couldn’t hurt to have an extra room. You never know when you might need it.”

“Yeah, I can understand that. I like my flat too much to let it go, too, and as much as I dislike how high maintenance Zayn is, I’d miss him too much.”

“That’s cute,” Louis chuckled. “But, I think that’s fair. Splitting the room.”

“Glad we agreed on this,” Liam grinned. “Oh, hey, look. The sign’s right up front.”

“Yes,” Harry nodded. “But for the love of God, please don’t ask if we’re there yet. We’ve got another twenty miles to go according to Google Maps.”

Liam grumbled, but then sighed in defeat as they passed the sign reading, _Welcome to Leeds._

+++

Liam only asked another eight times as to whether or not they were there yet.

By the time they did arrive, Harry was mildly annoyed and he and Liam wrestled around for a little bit before laughing and hugging it off. El looked tired and a bit on the moody side, so Louis gave her an encouraging, happy smile, which she returned, albeit with only a small one. Louis had no idea what was up with her. She’d come in late last night and didn’t bother to sit down and talk, instead going straight to her room and closing the door behind her. During times like those, they both left the other one alone, understanding that sometimes you just needed to have time on your own. However, it continued on to today and Louis wondered what had happened with her and whether or not she was okay. Louis made a quick mental note to ask her before they all went home for hols.

The other car pulled up beside them and they unloaded, looking just as tired and grumpy from the long drive. The only person really awake was Zayn, who popped out of the car, grinning like actual sunshine as he observed the area.

“Fucking Yorkshire, guys,” he kept saying. “Welcome to the hood.”

Louis went over and high fived him, the two of them grinning over the excitement of the weekend while throwing up the Westside gang sign and taking a few selfies since they were technically back _home_.

The rest of them, on the other hand, were eager to just grab their baggage and pick up their keys from the hotel concierge so that they could all settle in. They’d booked three rooms in total. El was bunking with Ed and Taylor. Zayn was with Niall and Barbara and that left Liam with Louis and Harry.

“I’m telling you now, guys,” Liam said as they took their baggage to the lift to head up to their room. The others were still checking in or already upstairs since they’d gotten rooms on different floors. “If you guys have sex while I’m in the room, I’ll run out and I’ll scream bloody murder.”

“All the more reason to do it then, _Liam_ ,” Harry teased, smirking at him while slinging an arm around Louis.

“I’m not into exhibitionism,” Louis replied to Liam. “Not going to happen, so relax.”

“You never know what you might end up doing in the heat of the moment, Louis,” Liam said, raising his eyebrows at him as they got on the lift. “Might not be able to help yourself.”

“Yeah, _Louis_ ,” Harry teased, bending down and kissing him hard on the cheek. “You never know what might end up happening in the heat of the moment.”

The three of them laughed and got off on the sixth floor. After locating their room, they spent a whole minute trying to open the door because Liam couldn’t get the hang of it the first time. Upon entering, Liam immediately jumped on the bed closest to the door.

“Just in case you two start getting it on and I really would have to run out,” he explained while they maneuvered their way to the other side of the room.

Harry cackled while picking up two of the complimentary water bottles the hotel had left them by the TV stand and flinging them at Liam. Louis ignored the two of them and walked over to the window, looking down at the view. It was just tons and tons of grass and meadows. They’d decided to get a hotel a bit out of the way from the nightlife scene only because of pricing reasons and they were all cheap Uni students, but it seemed quite nice despite the fact. When Louis turned back around, Harry and Liam were wrestling again on top of his bed and letting out loud squeals of laughter if one of them hit the other too hard.

Louis would join in on the pig pile, but the long drive was wearing him down and he was tired. He looked over at the bed Harry and he would be sleeping in and noticed how nice and comfortable it looked, all white sheets, fluffy pillows and soft duvet. It had been a long grueling two weeks at Uni. They had all just finished midterms and Louis hadn’t had much time to sleep what with juggling schoolwork _and_ a boyfriend. A nap before they went out really wouldn’t hurt. He slowly crawled over to the bed, curling up underneath the covers, letting his eyes drift shut easily.

It wasn’t long after that that he felt Harry’s body crawl in beside him, pulling Louis’ body flush against his chest, his warm lavender jumper soft against Louis’ skin. Louis was going to have to steal it from him by the end of the trip so that he had it with him when he said goodbye until after hols. “Napping, babe?” Harry murmured in Louis’ ear before kissing the spot under his lobe softly.

“Yeah,” Louis mumbled. “Super tired.”

“We can nap,” Harry said, pulling him closer, as though that was possible with how close he was holding him already.

“But Ed’s just texted me saying a few of them are going for burgers and chips,” Liam said from where he was lying down on his own bed.

“Later,” Louis mumbled, letting out a blissful sigh when he felt Harry’s hand slip under his shirt and rub over my stomach. “Let’s nap now.”

“Suit yourself,” Liam called, getting off his bed and leaving out the door. Once the door shut, Harry turned Louis’ body around to face him, pressing quick, sporadic kisses on his lips before settling down on his pillow. Louis smiled at him, curling up in his arms and closing his eyes once more.

+++

 

Louis couldn’t hear what Zayn and Liam were saying to each other, but whatever they were saying was heated. He knew they were drunk and it wasn’t anything serious that he had to be worried about. Taylor, who was standing beside Louis with her drink in her hand and swaying to the music, was hardly bothered about it. Nevertheless, Louis couldn’t keep his eyes off of Zayn and Liam. It probably had a lot to do with how bored he was.

Louis wasn’t nearly as drunk as he wanted to be -- or as much as everyone else was. He had lost sight of El a while ago, but had a hunch she was with Ed out in the back to smoke a spliff. Niall and Barbara were practically fucking on the dance floor and he had no idea where Harry was. He’d disappeared a while back at the bar and Louis wanted him to come back so that they could dance or something. BED was a really nice nightclub, one of the top most recommended in Leeds, but it was a subpar experience for Louis so far.

“Come on, then,” Zayn’s voice rang out, snapping Louis out of his thoughts and turning his attention back to the pair. “Come on.”

Louis’ eyes widened as he watched Zayn put his head close to Liam’s, like they were about to have a brawl in the middle of the club. Taylor stopped dancing beside him after hearing the yelling, turning to look as well. What happened next made both of their mouths drop in utter shock.

They kissed.

Liam and Zayn kissed.

It wasn’t deep or with tongue or anything. It was more like a peck, but they just fucking kissed and then burst out laughing, shoving at each other. And all Louis could think was _where was Harry_? He wished Harry was here with him to witness what he’d just seen because Harry’d find it just as amusing as Louis did.

“Oh my god,” Taylor said, covering her mouth. Louis turned to look her, bursting out laughing at her reaction and she followed suit, her eyes crinkled and head thrown back.  “That was so...”

“Interesting,” Louis said at the same time that she said, “Hot.”

They both looked at each other, only to laugh even harder at each other’s responses. That was when Harry appeared beside Louis, wrapping his arms around him from behind. “Hiiii,” he slurred, drunkenly into Louis’ ear.

“Where’ve you been?” Louis asked, putting his hands over Harry’s as Harry swayed them from side to side. “I’ve been so bored and you missed it. Zayn and Liam just kissed.”

“What?” Harry sputtered, laughing at the two boys who were now talking to Taylor. She was probably trying to coerce them into doing it again. “Tell me you recorded that.”

“I didn’t,” Louis shook my head sadly. “It just happened.”

Harry hummed. “Maybe they’ll do it again.”

“Hopefully. Anyway, where have you been?” Louis asked, poking Harry on the arm.

“At the bar,” Harry replied. “I met a band there and they were really cool and we were taking shots. Sorry, baby.”

“It’s alright,” Louis said, turning in his arms and placing his hands on his shoulders. “You’re here now.”

Louis smiled up at him, taking in his drunken state. His curly hair, which was pulled back with a black headscarf, framed his flushed, smiling face. He was looking at Louis with hooded eyes and pulling him in closer by the waist. Harry tipped his head down, claiming Louis’ lips and pulling them back so that they were further hidden from the club in a small, secluded corner.

“You wanna know something?” Harry asked, mumbling against Louis’ mouth while sucking his bottom lip between his.

“Hmm,” Louis hummed.

“I want to marry you right now,” Harry giggled, drawing back from the kiss, but not pulling away.

Louis looked at him, confused and speechless for a moment before giggling himself. “What?” he asked. “What are you saying?”

“I wanna marry you,” Harry repeated, louder and clearer. “Right now. Let’s go get married and then go back to the hotel and honeymoon and try for a baby. A baby or two.”

“A baby or two?” Louis asked curiously while Harry kissed him again, the taste of alcohol now on his tongue, too.

“‘M serious, Lou,” he said, breaking the kiss for a moment. “I wanna do it. I wanna do it, like, right now. You should put a baby in me.”

“We’ll do it,” Louis nodded his head, teasing Harry with mock seriousness. “Just later, yeah? When we’re dressed more appropriately.”

“What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?” Harry asked, looking down at his black mesh jumper.

“I want you to wear a tux,” Louis told him. “You look gorgeous now, but you’d look better in a tux.”

Harry watched Louis for a moment, as though he was seriously mulling over what attire they should wear when they got married before nodding his head. “I suppose you’re right. We’ll get a tux for me and get married because I really want you to put that baby in me. Or in you. Whichever works.”

“Gotcha,” Louis nodded with a giggled before kissing him again.

+++

“I’m never drinking again,” El groaned loudly while slumping down in her seat and scraping the legs against the hard tiles, causing a loud screeching noise.

Louis cringed, rubbing his temple and looking over at her with a frown. Although he hadn’t drank much at first last night, after Harry joined him they had both taken a few more shots together and Louis was now paying for it the morning after. Everyone else was faring similarly, trying to nurse their hangovers while trying to eat a late lunch that was being served by the hotel. They’d slept well into breakfast and decided to venture out of their beds to put something in their stomachs before going back up for a nap. El was the last one of them to arrive and it was without doubt that she had been the worst last night. Liam and Ed had to carry her back to the hotel because she could barely stand on her own. While El didn’t usually go that hard, it wasn’t unlike her either. Louis’d seen her like this before, but only when she was under a lot of stress.

“It’s only been one day, Eleanor,” Niall said to her. “You’ve got two more nights to go. How will you do it?”

“I’ll do it without ever drinking or smoking again,” she mumbled, resting her head in her arms. Taylor reached over and stroked El’s back, running her fingers through her soft hair. El seemed to preen at that, leaning into Taylor’s touch and shutting her eyes.

Harry, who was eating on Louis’ other side, passed over chips he’d gotten from the buffet onto Louis’ plate. Louis smiled at him fondly, picking up a chip and popping it into his mouth. “I don’t think I’m drinking that much tonight, either,” Harry said.

“What?” Niall cried, sounding horrified. “That’s two of you within the first night. You lot are fucking weak. How do you give up that easy?”

“I agree with Niall,” Liam piped up. “We’re here to party it up, lads. Let’s fucking go hard. Let’s get _sloppy._ ”

Harry licked over his teeth and then his lips while finishing chewing before fixing Liam and Niall with a look. “Ask Louis how many times I threw up this morning.”

The two boys turned to Louis expectantly. “Like three, I think. I had to hold his hair back. Poor lad.”

Harry raised his eyebrows at the boys like he’d just made as good a point as any. “You can imagine how embarrassing that was, right?”

“Alright, so boo hoo, you threw up in front of your boyfriend,” Niall admonished him with a wave of his hand. “Do it for one more night. Tonight we’re going to PRYZM and it’s right by University of Leeds, so the scene is going to be insane.”

“Think there are any hot birds at University of Leeds?” Liam asked.

“We’ll find out tonight,” Zayn replied, fist bumping with Liam.

“So, everyone’s drinking,” Niall concluded. “No excuses. Like Liam said, we’re getting smashed. Sloppy, even.”

El sneered at Niall disdainfully. “You’re that kid everyone and their mum’s warn about. The one who peer pressures.”

“I love you, too, El,” Niall smiled at her cheerily. “Anyways, I heard some people talking about Leeds Festival last night. We should all go.”

Barbara perked up from where she was sitting beside Taylor. “I’ve never been to Leeds Festival before. I’ve always wanted to go, but my parents always said I was too young to go alone.”

“Same,” Zayn added. “I’ve lived close to the festival all my life, but never actually went because none of my friends wanted to go and my parents wouldn’t send me alone. So, I’d be down to go for sure.”

“Should we buy tickets then?” Niall asked, looking around the table at the group. They all nodded, noting everyone else’s approval to the plans. Niall grinned at that. “Good because Harry and I’ve gone before and it’s fucking mental. It’s the best.”

“When is it again?” Taylor asked, sipping her coffee.

“August,” Harry replied. “Should be a good time.”

“Can’t wait,” El mumbled from where she was still snoozing.

+++

Louis had dated Brady Atkinson when he was eighteen years old -- going onto nineteen -- right around the beginning of Uni. He’d met him in sixth form through some mutual mates and even though Louis went to King’s College and Brady went to University of Leeds, they’d somehow made it work for a good few months. Louis met him every week, taking the train to and from their schools, traveling those grueling three hours just to spend a few days with him (Brady only made that trip to come see Louis once and complained _all_ weekend about it). It was sweet at first, really. Brady liked Louis from secondary, made the first move and told him how he felt, and then they got together. Louis remembered thinking _why not_? Could be fun to have a boyfriend, after all.

Brady told Louis he loved him three months into their relationship and while Louis had other boys say that to him before, it somehow felt special. Louis said it back right away, not thinking much about it, and they spent another blissful two months together until things started to get bad. They would fight _constantly_ and Brady would ignore Louis whenever he was trying to reach him, making Louis go crazy from all the way in London wondering what he’d done or how he could fix it. Eventually during their sixth month together, they broke up -- via text message of all ways. And it was only after they broke up that Louis realized how they weren’t in love at all. It was just the comfort of having someone rather than no one at all -- at least for Louis it was -- he couldn’t speak for Brady. Nevertheless, Louis was torn up after they’d broken up, having lost someone who he’d spent so much time with and dedicated a part of his life to.

Since then, however, Louis’d blocked out Brady from his memories, set on moving on as best as he possibly could. It worked well, really. He focused on school, his friends, family and future. So, when Louis spotted Brady at PRYZM, standing with a few mates who he recognized just as well, Louis turned away awkwardly. Brady hadn’t changed _one bit_. He still had that stupid haircut that didn’t suit him at all, but he insisted on getting every time, and dressed like a 12 year old boy who played too much video games. When Louis turned away, his eyes landed on Harry, who was leaning against the wall, talking to Niall about something and laughing really hard, his dimples sinking in on his cheeks.

Harry was such an upgrade now that Louis remembered Brady long enough to actually compare -- even though they really shouldn’t be compared because Harry was miles better. He was not only better to Louis as a person, but he also looked so much better. Harry was fucking hot, simply put, with his beautiful, gorgeous features. He also had a sense of style, which most people wouldn’t really consider as important, but Louis did. You should want someone in your life who was able to take care of themselves in every way. And Harry did. However, out of all the things Louis liked about Harry, one of the biggest ones was his desire to succeed and make something out of himself. He had dreams and he had wishes, and that was amazing to Louis because Brady never had that. It always felt like Brady was just getting through life and trying to get by. The thought alone was boring and that was the opposite of what Harry was. Harry was exciting and interesting and everything Louis’d ever wanted in a guy.

Louis closed the distance between Harry and him, wrapping an arm around him and nuzzling his face into the crook of his neck. Harry didn’t stop talking to Niall about whatever it was that they were talking about (something about how Zayn and Liam got rejected by some girls), but his arm wrapped around Louis tightly and he tilted his head to the side a bit more to expose his neck to Louis. Louis pecked him there once before resting his head on his shoulder.

Eventually when Barbara came over and dragged Niall off towards the dance floor, Harry turned to Louis, smiling. “You wanna get a drink?” he asked.

“Sure,” Louis nodded, lacing their fingers together and walking over to the bar. “I thought you weren’t drinking tonight.”

“Zayn already bought me like three shots,” Harry scoffed with a laugh.

They had been at the bar for no less than thirty seconds, giving their order in, when Brady walked over, standing in the spot right beside them. What even was Louis’ luck? He tried not to look obvious or make any awkward eye contact with him, instead turning his body to face Harry. It seemed he was too late because Brady had noticed him, doing a double take and letting his eyes linger on Louis for a few seconds with a shocked expression as though he was trying to decide whether or not he should say something.

Louis nervously laughed, realizing this was unavoidable, and mumbled, “Hey.”

“Hey,” Brady said, a little more enthusiastically than Louis expected. “How are you? It’s been so long.”

“I’m good,” Louis replied, noticing Harry’s curious glance over at them before accepting their drinks from the bartender. He handed Louis his pint, mouthing _who_ at him discreetly. _My ex_ , Louis mouthed back. Harry raised his eyebrows in recognition as he sized Brady up with his eyes. He must not have liked what he saw because he turned back to Louis and gagged, making him giggle. Harry smiled at him, giving him a kiss on the cheek and wrapping an arm around his shoulder, protectively.

Louis didn’t even want to turn to see if Brady saw that or what his reaction was. It’d been nearly 3 years since they spoke or meant anything to each other and even then it was a bit awkward. The three of them stood in silence, trying to figure out what to do next. When Brady got his own drinks, he turned to Louis.

“It was nice seeing you,” he said, glancing at where Harry’s arm was resting momentarily before looking back at them. “Come by our booth if you have time. We’re the third one towards the back. The old lads you know are here. Gavin, Oscar, Kevin, the whole lot.”

Louis gave him a fake, hopefully convincing smile. “Will do. See ya.”

Brady gave him one last smile, sparing Harry a look as well, before walking over to where Louis’d last seen him standing. He turned back to look at Harry, who was still watching Brady, and nudged him.

“What is it?” Louis asked while taking a sip of his drink.  

“I don’t like him,” Harry replied coolly. “He’s so -- like, he’s just -- you know.”

“Oh, yeah? Suppose you’re right,” Louis teased Harry like he actually understood any of what he’d just said. Harry shot him a look and Louis laughed, kissing the corner of Harry’s lip until he smiled. “He’s _whatever_ is what he is. You know you’re the best I’ve ever had, babe.”

Harry grinned bashfully, teeth sinking into his bottom lip, making it turn white. “That does wonders for my ego. I mean it’s cool, I guess. You can go over if you like. I wouldn’t be angry or whatever.”

“Right,” Louis said, not believing him for a second. “I don’t want to go over.”

“You sure?” he asked. “They are your old friends, right?”

Louis shrugged, wrinkling his nose in indifference. “Not interested really. They can fuck off for all I care because I’d rather be with you. I _want_ to be with you. They’re old friends for a reason.”

“That doesn’t sound so nice,” Harry said, pouting a bit as he looked at him with a concerned expression. “Did they all do something to you?”

Louis shrugged again, looking down at the buttons of Harry’s black and white flannel shirt and playing with them. “I think that we had some good times back in the day, but my place wasn’t with them, you know what I mean? And I think that I sort of regret spending so much time with them and wasting that time when I could have been elsewhere.”

“Elsewhere like with me?” Harry asked, smiling as he nuzzled his face into the crook of Louis’ neck. “Wish you came into my life sooner.”

“Yeah, me, too,” Louis whispered. “I’d trade all those days spent with them to spend long nights with you, instead.”

“Long nights, huh?” Harry waggled his eyebrows.

Louis laughed, smacking him on the chest. “Not like that you dumb arse. I meant our coffee runs and us just talking for hours and hours. I don’t have many people I can do that with.”

Harry looked taken aback by his confession, the moment taking a more serious note, and pulled him closer against his chest. His green eyes bore into Louis’ blue ones and Louis could have sworn his heart felt like it was on fire, warming up every inch of his body. “Me either, Lou. I’m glad I’m with you.”

“Me, too,” Louis said softly. Harry dipped his head down, giving him a kiss, letting his tongue swipe out to lick into Louis’ mouth cheekily before pulling back and grinning at him. Louis scrunched up his nose and felt his face flush with the way Harry was smiling at him before fixing him with a teasing look. “Now that that’s cleared up, let’s talk about the dirty looks you were shooting at Brady.”

“Is that his name?” Harry asked, distastefully. “Sounds like a class A twat.”

Louis laughed, biting his bottom lip. “You’re actually kind of cute when you get jealous. I should go over to talk to him just to get you like this.”

“Oh, you think it’s funny?” Harry asked, raising his eyebrows. Louis nodded playfully and Harry leveled him with a look. “We’ll see how you like it later when I get back at you for this.”

Louis frowned, looking at him confused, but Harry only smiled at him smugly while sipping his drink.

 

+++

Louis found out the next night what exactly Harry meant when they all went to a low-key pub instead of a club.

After last night, everyone had gone so hard with partying again that this morning was not only hard, but almost intolerable. They couldn’t get Niall to move out of bed because he pretty much blacked out the night before and Liam’s voice was completely shot to the point where he couldn’t even talk. So, in the end, even the hardest of the partiers had agreed that they couldn’t go so hard three nights in a row. They’d nursed their hangovers all day and decided to hang out at a pub nearby their hotel. There was good music playing and everyone was having a good time regardless of the fact that they weren’t exactly partying.  

Louis’d chosen to drink a ginger ale with Taylor, opting out of the pints everyone else was having. While they were sitting down and discussing Taylor’s hometown in Hadley Wood in comparison to Leeds, Louis looked over her shoulder only to frown at what he saw. Harry, who was standing by the counter with Ed and Liam while having a pint, locked eyes with him for a moment before smirking and turning to his other side where three girls were sat. He smiled at them, dimples and all, before saying something that made them giggle. After a few more moments of cheeky chatting, Harry called the bartender over and said something to him before pointing to the three girls.

Was he flirting with three girls _and_ buying them drinks? _Three girls?_

All to get back at Louis for what he’d said to him last night?

Let it be known that if Harry Styles was anything, it was an overachiever.  

“What’s he doing?” Taylor asked, turning to look at Harry as well when she caught sight of Louis’ angry expression.

Louis rolled his eyes as he stood up off his seat. “Trying to get back at me. And it worked.”

Taylor looked rather confused and was about to ask Louis what he meant, but he was already marching over to Harry, his arms crossed across his chest. When Harry didn’t turn to look back at him when he approached, too caught up in talking to those girls, Louis took to tapping him on the shoulder. Harry turned then, eyebrows raised when he saw it was Louis.

“Oh, hi,” Harry smiled.

Louis faked a grin, teeth grinding down from how _mad_ he was. “Having fun?” Louis asked him.

“Yeah,” he said, running a hand through his brown curls. “Just talking to these girls. This is Amand--.”

Louis tugged on his olive green floral print shirt before he could even finish introducing him to those girls because he really didn’t fucking care what their names were and only stopped when they were far away from them. Harry looked surprised and a bit taken aback, but his eyes were still shining in amusement.

“You okay?” he asked.

Louis scowled in response, shoving at his arm and Harry laughed, grabbing his hand before he could pull it away. Harry laced their fingers together and tried to grab Louis’ other one, but Louis shook his head despite the fact that he wasn’t pulling away his other hand either. Harry’s expression softened up then and he moved closer until he had to physically look down to see Louis. Louis felt whatever anger he had already start to dissipate just from the way Harry was looking at him and squeezing his hand.

“That wasn’t funny,” Louis said to him, voice small and vulnerable while still trying to frown at Harry and make his stand. He couldn’t just let Harry get away with flirting with people right in front of him _and_ buying them drinks. That was not done.

Harry laughed, nonetheless, his tongue swiping out to lick his lips, making them even redder and shinier than they’d been when he was drinking his pint. “It was kind of funny,” he tried.

“No, it wasn’t. I didn’t actually make you jealous last night. I just said it was funny when you did get jealous.”

“Yeah,” Harry agreed, voice slow and weirdly comforting despite the conversation they were having. “But I didn’t flirt with those girls at the bar, either.”

Louis arched an eyebrow at him and fixed him with an unamused look. Who was he trying to kid? Did Louis look _stupid_?

“I was playing wingman for Liam,” Harry continued. Louis blinked at him owlishly while Harry burst out laughing again. “Yeah, he thought those girls were pretty so I started talking to them for him and said he offered to buy them drinks and yeah. Then you came charging over like an angry hedgehog all mad and cute.”

Louis pulled his lips in and bit down on them, feeling sort of embarrassed over how he acted, even though Harry probably wanted him to react that way because he’d said he’d get back at Louis and made it seem how Louis really thought it was. He still should have known that Harry wouldn’t seriously flirt with them. It was easy to get insecure sometimes, though, especially when it came to Harry, since Louis knew the effect Harry had on people.

When Louis looked back at Harry, Harry was watching him carefully. Louis reached over and took his other hand. “I mean, we almost did get married that first night at the club. Almost had a baby, too. I had every right to go all angry hedgehog to protect my almost marriage.”

Harry looked at Louis like he couldn’t believe Louis was real before laughing, a sound which was quickly becoming Louis’ favorite sound in the world, and leaned in to kiss Louis’ nose and then his cheek. “I was only playing, Lou. Not interested in anyone else,” he said to him softly. “I’m yours and only yours.”

“Good because you don’t need anyone else,” Louis replied back. “Got the only one you’ll ever need right here.”

Harry laughed, pulling him in again. “Yeah, baby,” he said, kissing him on the lips really quick before drawing back. “Want to head to the hotel? Before Liam gets back?”

Louis nodded his head and Harry smiled before leading the two of them out of the pub and walking towards the hotel, which was only ten minutes away. Their entwined hands swung between them and there was a comfortable silence as Louis thought back to the conversation back at the bar. He couldn’t help but wonder about something so, when he looked over at Harry from the corner of his eye, he noticed that he seemed to be deep in thought, too. When Harry caught Louis looking, Harry grinned.

“What?” Harry asked. “What’s on your mind?”

“Could ask you the same thing,” Louis teased. “Wondering about something is all. You have to tell what’s on your mind too, though.”

“You first,” Harry prompted.

Louis laughed breathily before saying, “Does domestic talk turn you on?”

Harry watched him for a quiet moment before they both burst out laughing. “Oh my god,” Harry breathed out. “Are you seriously asking me that?”

Louis nodded insistently. “Yeah, like that day at the club and then again today. You had a look in your eye.”

“A look in my eye,” Harry repeated to himself like he was mulling over his response. “I mean, I guess. I do like the idea of domesticity. Having someone as my partner permanently and kids and a nice house with a dog, maybe. A cat, too.”

“Wow,” Louis replied.

“What is it?” he asked, almost embarrassed, his cheeks tinted pink.

“Nothing,” Louis quickly said. “It’s just that I didn’t expect domesticity to be a part of the Harry Styles playbook.”

“The Harry Styles playbook?” Harry asked, jaw dropped. “You’re joking.”

“Wish I was. So many pages filled and so much to learn.”

“You’re kind of crazy.”

“Tell me, Harry Styles, what else do you have in there?” Louis asked with a dramatic tone.

“I’m just going to ignore you until we get to the hotel.”

“That’s not nice,” he pouted.

Harry made the motion to zip his lips closed and Louis rolled his eyes in response as they walked the last few minutes to the hotel. Once they got up to their room, neither of them made a move to do anything other than peel their clothes off until they were just in their undergarments and cuddle under the covers, far too comfortable with just that. They were lying on their sides, facing each other and Louis almost thought he was going to fall asleep from how peaceful and nice it was when Harry spoke up.

“You didn’t ask me what I was thinking about,” he breathed out quietly, reminding Louis. Louis hummed in response, blinking up at him to see him watching Louis with something soft in his eyes. He had an arm wrapped around Louis’ middle, one of his legs in between Louis’ because they were cold. Harry opened his mouth, almost hesitating.

“What were you thinking, then?” Louis asked him with a sleepy voice and smile.

Harry grinned softly, looking almost shy. “Louis, I love you.”

Louis could physically feel his heartbeat stutter against his chest at the sound of those words, no longer sleepy or tired from the past 3 days. In fact, he was suddenly wide awake and feeling every inch of his body warming up with something he couldn’t quite recognize. Harry looked as open and vulnerable as he sounded, his voice almost inaudible despite how quiet it was in the room. Even his expression was unlike anything Louis’d ever seen on him. He looked almost scared, but so utterly sure of himself -- and no, he shouldn’t be scared. Harry shouldn’t be scared ever because what they had was special. What they had was different than anything Louis’d ever experienced in his life and Harry should be _anything_ but scared.

“You love me?” Louis asked, whispering just as quietly.

Harry nodded a few times, like he didn’t want to take it back since he’d already said it. “How could I not? You’ve got me so completely smitten. Never felt like this before,” he said, breathily. “I’ve never loved anyone else the way I love you.”

“ _Harry_ ,” Louis breathed out shakily with a smile, pulling him closer so that their noses nuzzled together. Harry smiled at Louis, happy and so at peace, like he’d been holding back and carrying that with him and felt at ease once he’d finally said it.

“It’s okay if you don’t say it back yet,” he said to Louis. “It’s okay because I just want you to know that I love you. I’m so in love with you, oh my god--.”

Louis surged forward, pressing his lips against Harry’s because he couldn’t take it anymore. He was so fucking desperate to get as close to him as he possibly could. And Louis couldn’t possibly be any closer to him than he already was, but even then it wasn’t enough. He never knew that he could feel this much for someone else, even though he couldn’t say the words back just yet. Louis still wanted him to know that he felt something and that he never knew what he had with Harry could mean so much. This past year with him -- and everything they’d been through -- was on another level. And for the first time, Louis wasn’t looking forward to graduation or leaving Uni and any of this behind. He wanted to stay there forever in Harry’s arms.

When they had sex that night, Harry asked Louis to top. Louis didn’t question it for a second and they took it slow. It was breathtaking and almost like they were making love, a term Louis had never used before. It meant more than all the other times they’d done it. Louis tried to be as was gentle and loving as he could while Harry whispered those three words and eight letters to him as much as he could while Louis rocked into him all the way until they were pushed over the edge. And Louis knew that night that he wasn’t far off from feeling the same way or saying those words back to Harry, either.

+++

El was stood beside Louis, sipping from her plastic coffee cup and looking out at the gas station they’d made a pit stop at during their trip back home. Even though Louis and Zayn lived in Yorkshire, they were all going to go back to their flats in London before leaving for home. Currently, Niall, Barbara, Zayn and Taylor were knocked out sleeping while Liam, Ed and Harry filled up the cars with gas.

Louis and El went to grab some coffee from the convenience store at the gas station and were stretching out their legs. It occurred to Louis that this was the perfect time to ask El what was up with her. He had a feeling she knew he’d ask her and had avoided him all weekend to prolong the inevitable, but she couldn’t run from it forever.

“Had a good time?” Louis asked her.

El nodded with a small smile. “Feeling wrecked from all the drinking, though.”

“Yeah, you went a bit hard,” he said. “It’s okay, though. You had a great time. Life’s too short to be all sensible all the time.” El giggled and nodded her head in agreement. Louis took a sip of his coffee before speaking again, feeling warm in the lavender jumper that he had finally stolen from Harry. “Have you been alright?”

She turned to look at Louis, but avoided eye contact and shrugged. “I’ve had better days.”

“What’s going on, El?” Louis asked her, his voice shaking. “I know you’re not opening up to me and I’m really trying to understand why, but I need you to help me out because I’m so worried about you.”

El looked guilty, her eyes shiny as she met Louis’ gaze. “I didn’t mean to worry you,” she promised. “I really didn’t. I just didn’t want to talk about it. But -- uh -- Max and I broke up. Like, right before we left.”

“The night before?” Louis asked her sadly.

She nodded her head. “I mean it was mutual, but I don’t know. There’s just a lot on my mind that I’m not quite ready to talk about yet. So, yeah, it still felt shit, you know?”

“I understand, babe,” Louis said to her. “You’ll be alright. We all fucking love you no matter what, you know that right?”

El looked at him for a moment, like she almost knew what he was talking about before nodding her head with a small smile. “Yeah, I know. Thank you.”

Louis smiled at her before pulling her into a big hug. El let herself sink into it like she needed it more than anything and he didn’t pull away -- not until the boys told them that they were ready to go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahh, so harry's said some p big things! you'll find out more about that and louis' reasoning for not saying it back in the next chapter, which should be out on thursday! thank you for reading :)  
>   
> [tumblr](http://quitefinishedlarry.tumblr.com/) / [fic page](http://quitefinishedlarry.tumblr.com/yail) / [chapter post](http://quitefinishedlarry.tumblr.com/post/139747177345/fic-you-are-in-love-author-wildestdreams)


	20. the one with louis day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhh another fluffy chapter! i hope you all enjoy it. i don't want to give anything away, but things start getting a little crazy! i hope you're ready. and remember, i'm open to drabble/character asks/etc on my tumblr!  
>   
> thank you [mac](http://realitybetterthanfiction.tumblr.com/) for being the best :)

The week following Easter hols was probably one of Louis’ worst.

He’d completely botched an exam he spent all of break revising for. He barely got any sleep trying to catch up with everything else and that in turn made him cranky. He got into a little fight with El, who seemed to be in an even worse mood than him. The day they came back, Louis had confronted her about ignoring his calls and text messages when they were away, something he really hated when people did to him. She kept giving excuse after excuse, but Louis knew that she was just trying to withdraw herself into her shell even more. Louis didn’t even mean to get into a fight with her, but she kept turning everything he said into some type of attack against her. And if that wasn’t enough, Louis also found out from Career Services at their uni that he was lacking a lot of experience in his CV and it would come to bite him in the arse when he started applying for jobs.

Harry had come over one night and held Louis close while he grumbled on about being tired, not talking to El, and having to gain some sort of experience to put in his CV so that he could get jobs after graduation. Harry had listened quietly and offered him as much advice as he could, but then in the end, he just decided to help turn the week around for Louis. Harry declared the following day as _Louis Day_ and it began with the two of them getting tattoos. It wasn’t going to be matching tattoos, but it would still be special nonetheless.

The two of them drove to Tom’s tattoo shop and Louis greeted the now familiar faces with smiles and hugs. He’d decided to get a bomb that was lighting up and on the verge of blowing up because he quite felt similar. However, when Tom was about to sit down to do Louis, Harry interrupted, asking if he could do it instead.

“You sure you want to?” Louis asked.

Harry nodded with a small smile as he sat down on Tom’s seat. “If that’s okay with you.”

“Of course it is,” Louis smiled back. “Just don’t botch it up.”

Harry laughed, grabbing the tattoo gun, and got down to drawing out the ticking bomb. It actually went well and Louis even got a kiss from Harry for not moving around much. After Louis, Harry sat down on the chair for his turn. His tattoo was fairly large, like most of his other ones, and placed right between his bible tattoo and his anatomical heart tattoo. It was the bottle he’d been drawing in his little book a few nights ago -- a bottle with the words, “You booze, you lose,” written around it. Louis was dumbstruck with how relaxed and chilled out Harry seemed while Tom went about stenciling it in. Louis usually felt discomfort when he got a larger tattoo done, but then again, Harry said he liked the pain, weirdly enough, and didn’t mind. It would explain how he possibly sat through his sparrows on his chest and the butterfly on his stomach.

Lux, who was hanging out with them at the shop, stared at Harry’s arm in confusion for a long time, narrowing her eyes in order to make out the words as her dad inked it in. “What’s that mean?” she asked eventually.

Harry looked to her parents for some clue as to what to say, but Tom was merely smirking while doing his job, and Lou was browsing her Instagram by the counter.

“Um,” Harry stammered, laughing nervously while Lux continued to look at him expectantly. “It means if you sit around doing nothing all the time and be lazy then you’ll lose in life, Luxy.”

“Oh,” she replied, even though her expression indicated that she was still having a bit of trouble understanding. She sighed with a shrug. “Well, I like Lou’s tattoos better.”

Louis laughed obnoxiously at Harry, who looked affronted as Lux walked back over to Louis to examine his fresh ink. “Well, Lou’s tattoo isn’t inspirational, but mine is,” Harry replied.

“You’re trying to inspire yourself?” Lux asked, giggling. “What for?”

“Well, I’m graduating in, like, a month, Luxy,” he answered. “Can’t be messing about anymore. Have to prepare myself for the adult world.”

“And how are you going to do that with all those tattoos, mister soon to be barrister,” Lou teased from where she was standing by the counter.

Tom and Louis snickered at that while Lux looked even more confused, trying to repeat the word _barrister_ to herself as if it would eventually make sense to her. Harry, on the other hand, fixed them with a wicked, confident grin. “I’m going to invest in a lot of full sleeved dress shirts is how. Now, stop teasing me and let me get my damn tattoo in peace.”

“Your inspirational tattoo,” Lux reminded him.

“Yes, that.”

Once Harry was done and the two of them got a long list of instructions on how to take care of their tattoos, they bid goodbye to Lux and her parents, then walked back to his car hand in hand. It was a warm spring night and the breeze was just right. Louis cuddled in closer to Harry and smiled shyly. “Thanks for the tattoo.”

“Of course,” he said, pressing a kiss to the top of Louis’ head. “I’m happy to see you smiling.”

“Thank you. I like yours, too. _Very_ inspirational.”

“You better not be mocking me,” he said, fixing Louis with an unamused look before looking back up to locate where he parked his car.

“I’m not. I swear I like it.” Louis laughed before bumping his shoulder, making Harry meet his gaze again. “Where are we headed now, then?”

“Frat house,” he answered. “Finally got the room all fixed up like I wanted it. I haven’t slept in it yet, though. Tonight would be the first night since I’ve got early morning lectures.”

“How come you haven’t stayed in it yet?”

Harry laughed shortly, running a hand through his hair. “I had to burn some candles and spray it around a bit to get that smell that my own room has before I could. Otherwise, it felt too weird. Smelled too much like Greg.”

“And what did Greg smell like?”

“Too much axe,” Harry replied drily as they got into his car, making Louis laugh.

When they got to the frat house, they found Andy and Dean sat in the living room, watching some program. They gave Harry and Louis a wave as they headed upstairs and Louis noticed the way Dean’s expression became pinched and rather uncomfortable. In all that had happened these past few months, Louis hadn’t really seen him around as much or thought to wonder how he felt about Louis dating Harry. They were frat brothers and Louis knew that their bond with one another was very strong. And he hoped it didn’t create any unnecessary tension because Louis being with Harry had nothing to do with Dean. It wasn’t planned or anything, but it was right and that was all that Louis really cared about when going into it. Maybe Louis should speak to Dean next time he saw him, just to make sure everything was okay between them and that there was no bad blood. It would clear the air and give Louis a sense of relief knowing he hadn’t hurt any of the boys.

Harry grinned as they approached his room, amongst the many in that hallway that housed some of the other frat brothers. “You ready?” he asked, like he was about to open up the door to reveal some Disneyland replica or worse, the red room like in _50 Shades_.

Louis snorted at the thought and gave Harry a nod. He finally opened the door to his room and flipped the light switch on as they slowly walked in. It was a fairly medium sized room, similar to the others in the house. The only reason it wasn’t bigger was because there were two queen-sized beds on both sides, one for Liam and one for Harry, with a single desk in between them. The boys moved some of their stuff in there, like books and such, but it was mostly decked out in fraternity pride stuff. Louis spotted the familiar OX up on the wall, which were the Theta Chi letters, beside a few football club posters that Louis knew the boys loved and pictures of past parties, charities and events the frat had done.

“That side’s mine,” Harry said, pointing to the bed on the right. “Not much in here, like I told you, since we only have a few weeks left, but it’s convenient and smells better.”

Louis nodded at that, just then noticing the faint, familiar cinnamon smell in the air much like Harry’s room at his flat. He tried to make it as homey as possible, with a soft, light blue duvet laid out on the bed along with two of his pillows. Most of the books were of his and he had a tack board up beside the bed with several things already pinned up.

“It’s great,” Louis said, turning to face Harry while he pulled out a pair of fresh boxers from a wooden wardrobe beside the door. “I like your own room better, though. Bay window and all.”

Harry laughed, leaning over to give Louis a quick kiss. “I know you do. Anyways, I’m going to go the bathroom for a sec. Do you need use it? I _should_ tell you, though, that it’s disgusting in there.”

“I’m good,” Louis said, shaking his head with wide eyes. “Peed at the tattoo shop.”

“Alright, babe. Be right back.”

Harry slipped out of the room, closing the door behind him and Louis stood there in silence for a few moments. He could hear the distinct noise of the telly from downstairs, laughter from boys walking by outside in the hall and the soft sounds of someone moaning from somewhere in the house. Nice, Louis thought grimly. Rather than standing there doing nothing, he took to looking around the room a bit more, walking over to the tack board.

There were tons of post it notes, list of things to do for school and random errands as well as receipts, and randomly, right smack in the middle, a picture of Louis, along with another photobooth picture set of both Harry and Louis.

 

 

The photobooth picture was from their Leeds trip, however, Louis had no idea when the picture of just him was ever taken. It was from a few weeks back if he recalled correctly, before Harry and him became official and were just sleeping together. The two of them had gone out on a drive late at night after their coffee run and ended up stopping at Westminster Bridge like proper tourists. Louis had stolen Harry’s beanie off his head and refused to give it back, laughing and moving away every time he tried, but he mostly thought Harry probably wanted him to wear it because he didn’t try that hard. Louis seemed to be looking at something in the picture and Harry was probably trying to be sneaky about it. And the more he looked at it, sitting on the wall beside Harry’s bed, the more it pulled at Louis’ heart strings with the realization of how big this was -- for Louis at least.

Harry literally went out of his way to print that picture out from his phone and put it up on the wall while fixing up this room. Louis’d never had someone care for him that much. Louis’d never had someone go to this many lengths to show that they love him. It wasn’t that big of a move compared to other things Harry had done, but it spoke volumes of how much he felt for Louis. And it wasn’t even like Harry was doing this to show him or prove something. Harry did this because it was his room and he wanted a picture of Louis in there. It would be the first thing he saw when waking up and the last thing he saw when falling asleep.

+++

 

“Who are you texting?” Lottie asked, practically getting off of her seat and trying to peer over Louis’ shoulder.

Louis quickly flipped his phone around and hid it from her view, scowling at her. “Privacy is a thing, in case you didn’t know.”

Lottie rolled her eyes and settled back in her seat. She’d always been rather nosy growing up. Back in the day it was eavesdropping whenever Louis had friends over and now it was texts on his phone. Felicite was never that bad, but they had a bit of an age difference, and both pair of twins were even further away in age, so they never bothered Louis as much. Speaking of which -- it was only Lottie who made it out to their brunch that his mum had planned back when he went home for hols. She and Dan had a party that night in London and decided to come in earlier to see Louis and Lottie since they both resided in London now. The rest of the siblings were back home in Donny under Felicite’s watchful eye.

Mum and Dan were sat across from the two, ignoring them bickering because it wasn’t unusual, while browsing updates on Facebook on their own phones. They’d recently made their own accounts and were _fascinated_ by social media. It had been nice to meet up though. They’d caught up and made plans for a short family trip over the summer to somewhere nice, if they could manage. Dan was thinking of America, but mum wanted to go somewhere in Europe. Lottie was set on Australia, while Louis wanted to go to somewhere tropical and exotic like Dubai. With their differing opinions and wishes, he figured it was going to be an ongoing debate until the time came to _actually_ make a decision.

Other than that, Lottie spoke of the cosmetic school where she went and how she’d been able to help out during a fashion show recently. Mum and Dan had finished remodeling their basement into a sort of rec room for exercise and games and a home theater, so they spent most of their time there. Lottie and Louis didn’t hold back in telling them how jealous and bitter they were that they had done this after the two of them moved out.

As for Louis, he mostly told them about Harry with a giddy, shy smile on his face the entire time. They asked about a _billion questions_ regarding him, like how he was as a person and whether or not he was a good boyfriend. Mum was ecstatic and eager to meet Harry, asking about him with a gleam in her eye. Lottie, who had been keeping up with them via Instagram, thought Louis had great taste because Harry was gorgeous in her opinion. All in all, they gave Harry the seal of approval and it made Louis happier about everything because with every day that passed, he realized how right this was. How right Harry and Louis were together.

Louis wished Harry could have come and met them, but Louis was kind of unsure as to whether or not they were at that stage in their relationship yet. Then again, it wasn’t like they hadn’t moved forward in other aspects of their relationship rather quickly, either. They were barely a month in and Harry had already said “I love you,” but that was okay because they’d been friends for so long so it didn’t feel weird. It wasn’t like they’d just met. So, maybe it was okay to want him to meet Louis’ parents and to want to meet Harry’s parents, too. Maybe it was okay to want to move at the pace that felt most comfortable because their level of affection shouldn’t be based around how long they’d been together. That was hardly important in the grand scheme of things. It just felt right.

“So, what’s the rest of your day looking like?” Mum asked over her glass of wine.

“Dunno,” Louis shrugged. “Going to meet Harry and he’s got some plans for me, apparently.”

“Surprises?” Dan asked.  

Louis nodded, smiling sheepishly. “I’d sort of had a bad week and he decided to do a _Louis Day_. He’s just been doing things to get me to smile. We started last night and he gave me a tattoo.”

“A _tattoo_?” Mum shrieked.

Lottie gasped. “That’s crazy.”

“It’s small,” Louis quickly told them. “Just a small tattoo and we did it at a tattoo parlor, so everything was completely safe. And it’s sweet that he’s doing so much for me and he doesn’t really have to, but he still is. He’s lovely. So lovely all the time.”

Mum broke out into a massive grin and got that look in her eyes again, the one where they sparkled because Louis was talking about Harry. She’d been doing that since the topic of Harry was broached at the beginning of brunch and he was starting to wonder what was going through her mind. It had to be something or another because Mum was a romantic and often asked Louis about boys and whether or not there were any in his life. After Brady, she’d sort of been concerned about him and what he was going to do because he’d been single for so long since then. It didn’t occur to her until after Louis talked about how being on his own didn’t mean he was unhappy. He didn’t need any boy or to be in love to be happy and complete. Still, she wanted him to find someone because in her opinion, it definitely heightened the quality of life. Once he’d told her about Harry, she was over the moon with excitement.

“Do you think Harry’s _the one_?” Mum asked finally.

“ _Mum_ ,” Louis cried, flushing at her question while Lottie snorted, covering her mouth in amusement along with Dan. Louis fixed mum with a stern look, even though it seemed to have no effect on her grinning expression. “I’ve only been dating the boy for a month. So, I don’t know.”

“Well, do you love him?” she asked, still prodding.

“I -- I don’t know,” Louis stammered, his cheeks warm. “I’m not sure, yet. Maybe.”

“Good enough for me,” she smiled. “Bring him over one day. You say he’s got a car, so transportation shouldn’t be hard. We’d love to meet him.”

“He’d love to meet you, too, Mum. But I can’t bring him if you’re going to ask stuff about marriage and such because I have a feeling you will.”

“Wouldn’t put it past her,” Dan supplied, making Lottie and Louis snicker while Mum swatted him on the arm playfully.

“Enough,” she tutted. “Just want to meet the boy who’s got our Louis so swept up. It’s lovely to see you happy, love.”

Louis beamed at her, once again wishing she could meet Harry and see for herself how lovely he truly was. He felt like he was on cloud nine simply from talking about him to them. They’d meet him on graduation, though, so there was that. But, as funny and ironic as it was, he didn’t like to think of graduation that much anymore. Thinking about that day didn’t make him feel happy or excited anymore, mostly just sad and nostalgic. However, the more he avoided it, the harder it became because graduation was coming up and it was all some people could talk about. Louis’d thought he’d be one of those people, but instead, now he was just wishing for the year to rewind itself so that he could relive some of the best times of his life. So that he could get Harry sooner rather than later to spend more time with him before everything changed and he wouldn’t know where they’d stand.

Because as real and right as it felt now, Louis had no idea what laid ahead of him after graduation. Would Harry and he be on the same page and want to still be together? What would all of that mean for them in the long run? Would they make it? And the thing was, in life things never turned out the way they were planned. Louis’d planned to come to this Uni and finish it as quickly as possible with no distractions and be on his way to the real world. To face new challenges and find himself. Instead, he found Harry.

Reasons and questions like that scared him because it meant that they might have an expiration date and he wasn’t ready to think of any of that when he’d only just gotten Harry. He didn't know if he'd ever be ready to think about it, but eventually he'd have to because their graduation date kept getting closer everyday.

+++

“Is my surprise at the frat house?” Louis asked, his hand entwined with Harry’s as they approached the house in question. The lights were all lit up as usual and there seemed to be music playing from inside.

“Maybe,” Harry grinned as he pulled Louis along. Before they entered, Harry moved so he was behind Louis, his arm snaking around his waist. “Ready?”

“Sure,” Louis replied, leaning into his touch.

They walked through the door only to be met by all the guys and their friends crowded into the living room cheering at them. Louis stumbled back a bit into Harry’s arms, gasping at their welcome. Harry caught Louis with a laugh, his hand on Louis’ waist while the other gripped his hand.

“Oh my god,” Louis said, voice quiet in the loud room, looking around completely shell shocked at all the balloons and the banner with his name written on it with a giant sharpie on the side of the room. This was a surprise party and everyone was in on it, including El, who was smiling at him from where she was stood. Louis turned to look at Harry. “You threw me a surprise party?”

“I did, yeah,” Harry replied, laughing. “Look at your face, babe. You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“Oh my god,” Louis repeated, still shocked and feeling taken aback by the enormity of this whole thing because it was massive, really.

Louis had a bad week and his fucking amazing boyfriend threw him a surprise party just to cheer him up. It was both equally sappy and wonderful at once. This frat had nothing to do with Louis. He wasn’t a member, nor did he contribute much to it. He spent every weekend here, sure, and had quickly became friends with practically all the guys here, but they went and did all of this for _him_. It was a bit overwhelming and Louis had no idea how to react other than stare at everyone with his jaw hanging.

But then Ed made his way through the crowd towards Louis, carrying what looked like a sash and plastic crown. Louis widened his eyes when he caught sight of the words _King Louis_ written on the sash. He sputtered out a laugh, turning to look at Harry, who looked way too pleased with himself. This was seriously a proper _Louis Day._

“Now,” Ed said, voice loud to match with the music that was playing on the speakers. “When Harry mentioned that you’d had a shitty week and wanted to do something to cheer you up, we all immediately jumped at the idea of throwing you a party here. Would have had one anyway, but this gives it a more valid reason other than the usual getting shit faced one.”

Everyone laughed, quieting down to let him finish.

“And so we all chipped in and helped Harry out. We made a banner and blew up some shitty balloons and we even got you a sash.”

Louis couldn’t contain the grin on his face, while Ed helped him put the sash on. Once it was adjusted, he looked down and showed everyone else as they cheered and laughed loudly again.

“You’ve come here every weekend since the beginning of this year and you’re one of us now, Louis,” Ed finished. “Now, let’s get fucking wasted!”

The whole place erupted in loud cheers as the music turned up even more and they all dispersed to enjoy. Harry stayed beside Louis, nudging his nose against Louis’ cheek with a smile. “You surprised?” he asked.

“Am I surprised?” Louis asked with faux sarcasm. “I don’t know. It was okay.” Harry laughed in response while Louis turned to face him, pulling him down by the back of his neck and kissing him sweetly. “Thank you so much.”

“Welcome, Lou,” he mumbled against Louis’ lips. “Love you.”

+++

 

Due to the good weather, people came out to the yard at the back of the frat house often during the parties to smoke and drink away from all the music. Harry pulled Louis out there after managing to get a spliff from Zayn and asked him to smoke it together, which Louis easily agreed to. They sat down on the steps and Harry perched himself up on Louis’ lap. Twenty minutes in, they were both feeling that nice buzz, making them increasingly touchy and lazy with their movements. Louis didn’t often smoke with Harry, but if he’d known that Harry got like this then Louis would have done it more because Harry couldn’t keep his hands off of Louis.

Louis took a drag of the spliff, keeping steady eye contact with Harry, while one of Harry’s hands roamed below Louis’ belt buckle. Once Louis was satisfied, he leaned in closer to Harry and Harry parted his lips, letting Louis blow the smoke into his mouth. Harry smiled at him with hooded eyes.

“Imagine if I put my hands in your pants,” he teased, prodding at Louis’ skin underneath his shirt. “In front of all these people.”

“That’s filthy,” Louis told him, despite not stopping his movements because it felt too good to care about who was out there and who could see them.

“I want to,” Harry whispered. “I wanna shove my hand in there and then I could literally feel how bad you want me. Do you want me?”

Louis nodded his head, squirming under Harry for some friction and leaning into kiss him, while Harry took the spliff from Louis’ hand. If Harry kept this up, Louis wouldn’t be opposed to fucking Harry or being fucked by Harry somewhere in the bushes. Harry didn’t, though. He kept his hands where they were, not moving them up any further, and they finished the spliff together.

“I’m parched,” Harry mumbled, like his mouth was full of cotton. “And hungry.”

“Me, too,” Louis said. “Reckon there’s food here?”

“Nick hides the food during parties. People raid our fridge otherwise.”

“Maybe we could order a pizza,” Louis said as Harry stood up to see what could be done. Louis made grabby hands at Harry, not wanting him to leave, so Harry giggled, bending down to give Louis a kiss. As Louis stood up to kiss Harry back properly, he bumped right into Barbara, whose drink spilled all over him.

Louis gasped, looking down at the stain, and let out a groan when he saw how big it was. This was definitely not going to come out. “I’m so sorry,” Barbara apologized, trying to grab tissues from her purse to dab at the spot.

“It’s alright,” Louis said, trying not to pout. The damage was done and he was going to have to bid farewell to this shirt. Harry stood up, then, examining the damage.

“You can go change into some of my clothes from upstairs,” he offered.

“I guess I could. Might have left some of my clothes here, anyway,” Louis replied.

Harry fished for his keys in his pocket and handed Louis the one for his room. Barbara apologized to him once more, looking really guilty, before Louis was able to find his way upstairs. Fortunately, Louis’d left a t-shirt of his here and pulled that on.

Once done, Louis exited Harry’s bedroom, remembering to lock it behind him. He headed back downstairs, walking past two guys who were stood on the stairs. They didn’t bother looking up to notice him going by, too caught up in whatever it was they were talking about. Louis wouldn’t have paid them any mind, either, because people were always coming in and out of the frat house, parties or not, and they were usually very cool and did their thing. However, that was until he heard one of them mention Harry.

Louis slowed down his steps, trying to strain his ear to hear them over the loud music. “Have you seen him around?” one of them asked the other. “Harry, I mean.”

“Not since a little while ago when he was in the kitchen with Zayn,” another replied.

“He looks fucking _fit_ tonight. And hats don’t usually work on boys, but he somehow does it. How does he fucking do it?”

“I’m not even into guys, but I can agree, he’s good looking.”

“When doesn’t he look fit, though? Would love to take a shot with him or summat.”

“More like you’d love to take a shot on him,” they laughed. “Too bad he’s taken, though.”

“Oh, right,” the guy said like he just remembered. “He’s got a boyfriend, now, as far as what Brandon told me. Lucky him. This party’s for him, innit?”

“Yeah, Louis something. His name’s on the banner.”

“He’s smart. Snagged him while he had the chance because God knows if he was single right now, I’d be all over him.”

Louis took that as his cue to walk away from there in fear of lurking by the end of the stairs for too long and giving himself away. He couldn’t even wrap his hazy head around everything that was being said in that conversation, even though it wasn’t a lot and mostly just drunken banter between two guys, but it was still _something_. They knew Harry was taken, but they didn’t know Louis properly, and they wanted Harry. And as much as Louis liked acting like none of this bothered him, that didn’t settle well with him. Louis didn’t like Harry or their relationship being talked about like that in the middle of a party. He didn’t like anything that was being said in that conversation because Harry did look good and _Louis_ could admit that, but _not_ anyone else. At the same time it wasn’t like he could charge over there and be like, _that’s my boyfriend, so shut the fuck up_. That would be overreacting because they weren’t doing anything wrong. They were just talking and Louis being insecure about that was hilarious in the most unfunny way.

And as much as Louis tried to deny it to himself, the reputation Harry had formed since he broke up with Xander hadn’t ever settled well with Louis, despite his hand in helping Harry create it. The concept or the idea of Harry and other people was always enough to bring a heavy weight in Louis’ heart with an ugly jealous feeling bubbling in the pit of his stomach. Louis could never tell Harry any of this either because he’d always played it cool around him. Louis was his best friend and he couldn’t lash out now just because some guy fancied him or talked about him with his friend. Harry’d think Louis was being neurotic and paranoid and so unlike himself. Needless to say, even though Louis knew how Harry felt about him, he still hoped that he stood out amongst the other girls and boys and that Harry thought he was a little more cute and fun -- enough so that he was happy he chose Louis over all the rest.  

Louis quickly shook all thoughts of those guys from his mind because this was Louis’ party and he was going to find his friends and have fun, not worry about silly things. When Louis walked further into the living room, he spotted El. She was sat on a couch alone, drinking straight from a bottle and Louis worried his eyebrows, walking over to her. They hadn’t spoken since their argument, but Louis hoped they could talk now.

“Tough night?” Louis asked her with a quirk of his lips once he’d approached her.

El looked up, a tiny smile on her face. “Lou,” she cooed, drunkenly. “Come sit with me.” She pulled him down beside her by his hand, their bodies curving together until they were comfortable. “How’s your night going?” El smiled at him, eyes still soft and a bit far away. He wondered how much she’d had to drink, but given the fact that she had a bottle in her hand, he could only assume it was a lot. Seemed to be a regular thing with her nowadays, too.

“It’s good, babe,” Louis said to her, cuddling into her. “How are you?”

“I’m alright,” she replied. “Believe it or not, but I think I’ll be alright.”

“Of course you will, El,” he said. “Why wouldn’t you be?”

“I’ve just been thinking about some stuff,” she said quietly before looking up to meet his gaze. “I just -- I look at you with Harry and I look at Barbara with Niall and I look at my parents and all these people who are in love. And I look at myself and I can’t see that. Not the same way and I don’t know, I’d always wondered if there was something wrong with me.”

“Nothing’s wrong with you,” Louis quickly said. It made him happy that she was finally opening up, but he didn’t want her to get this warped idea that there was anything wrong with her. Louis _needed_ her to know that. “You just like different things and that’s okay, El.”

“I think that’s it,” she said softly, agreeing. “I don’t know -- like -- I guess I’ve always felt different because I remember back in secondary all my mates would be talking about how they kissed a boy with tongue and I realized I didn’t kiss anyone at all till Uni. Isn’t that a bit sad? Like, I’ve never had anyone texting me till three in the morning or sharing clothes like you and Harry do. Never had a boy that made my heart beat loud or my palms sweat, but I think it’s mostly because I never allowed them to do it. I never allowed a boy to come close to me because I’d always been distant and unattached with my feelings because deep down none of it felt real to me. I _used_ to think there was something wrong with me and that all these people are experiencing all these lovely things and I’m not, but I don’t think it’s that anymore. It shouldn’t be, right?”

Louis shook his head again, curling up against her with his arm wrapped around her middle so she knew he was here. He was solid and he was here and he wouldn’t let anything happen to her. “Liking different things doesn’t mean anything’s wrong with you at all,” he reassured her. “Please tell me you know that now.”

“Yeah,” she nodded. “I know that. I just -- I was thinking that maybe there _is_ someone out there for me who can make all those feelings in me be real. Who could make me feel something real and feel something real back for me and we could have everything that everyone else does. All the late night conversations and the kisses and the sharing. We could do everything and it’d make up for all the time lost because I’m twenty two now and I haven’t done anything.”

“Well, is there anyone who you think could make you feel something real?” Louis asked tentatively. “If there is then you could give that person two decades worth of love that you hadn’t given to anyone else and that’s a lovely thought, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, that is a lovely thought,” El paused for a moment, her heart thudding against her chest and her breath bated, before she exhaled. “I think that Dylan is nice.”

“I think Dylan is nice, too,” he smiled at her.

El blushed, looking down and not quite meeting Louis’ eyes. “She doesn’t make me feel lonely or different or alone. And God knows I’d felt lonely for two fucking decades of my life, wondering what it was that I was missing. I tried making up for it by falling in puppy love with all these boys but I couldn’t do it anymore, Louis. I couldn’t keep lying to myself because that wasn’t me. I have so much love in me to give and I was holding it back in my shell. And now I feel like Dylan cracked that shell and I want _everything_ with her.”

Louis’ eyes strung as El finally confessed to him what he’d been waiting for her to say for weeks. It didn’t matter that she was drunk. She was fully aware, Louis could tell, and she looked open and vulnerable. It took a lot of courage for her to say that and Louis couldn’t be more proud of his best friend than he was then.

“Do you know how proud of you I am?” he asked her as she gave him a small smile and wiped at his eyes for him. “Like, completely and over the hills proud of you.”

“I know,” she nodded. “Sorry that it took me so long and sorry for our spat the other night, too.”

“It’s okay,” Louis said to her. “It’s all very okay. You’ll be okay. So, don’t worry, yeah? It can only get easier from here.”

El nodded her head and pulled him back towards her so that they could cuddle again. It was strange for the setting they were in. People were drunk dancing and taking their clothes off to “Bitch Betta Have My Money” by Rihanna while Louis was where he needed to be -- with his best friend who’d just crossed a milestone in her life. Coming to terms with her sexuality hadn’t been easy, but she’d done it.

F. Scott Fitzgerald once wrote, “ _and in the end, we were all just humans -- drunk on the idea that love and only love could heal our brokenness_.” El felt broken for so long and she’d finally found love that didn’t make her feel like she was one half, but in fact one whole person. And while Louis knew that you could be your own person on your own and be just as happy and whole, he couldn’t deny that having Harry had made him infinitely happier and complete. He thought back to what his mum always said about love and smiled, because she and Fitzgerald did have a point and Louis was finally starting to see it.

+++

 

Louis’ eyes fluttered shut at the feel of Harry’s lips pressing against the curve of his neck while he whispered sweet nothings to him. Harry was turned on his side under the covers with his leg propped in between Louis’ while his hand was splayed over Louis’ bare stomach, stroking in a soft, comforting way. “I love you,” Harry whispered quietly. “I love you more than anything. Hope you had a good day.”

“I did,” Louis whispered back, smiling. “Thank you.”

“Anything for you, Lou,” he said breathily with a small laugh, giving him one last kiss and settling back on his pillow. “Gonna sleep, okay. Super tired. Love you.”

The words _love you, too_ were at the tip of Louis’ tongue, just about to roll out when he realized what he was just about to say. His body froze, but Harry gave no indication that he noticed, instead breathing softly while his body pressed tight against Louis’. The two of them had slipped away from the festivities downstairs a little over an hour ago, quietly coming into Harry’s bedroom and not so quietly having sex. It almost seemed to spur Harry on knowing that a house full of party goers could literally hear him moaning out Louis’ name, so he kept prompting Louis to fuck him harder.

In Louis’ lust haze, he’d naturally complied.

After they’d finished, they laid around and kissed lazily until just now when Louis was seconds away from saying those three words back to Harry. It wasn’t surprising. Louis knew he was close to falling in love with Harry. How could he not be? Louis’d spent the majority of his life chasing after douchebags who never treated him right. He’d always known relationships to be give more, take less. Then he spent a long time resisting, but evidently falling for a boy who finally treated him the way he wanted to be treated, and more so. Harry was amazing to him. He said all the right things, knew when Louis was upset and was above all else his best friend. He treated Louis better than any boy ever had.

Louis couldn’t have asked for anything better.

The only thing that held Louis back was that he hadn’t said “I love you,” to someone in over three years. Those words weighed heavy because they made him vulnerable and Louis didn’t always like that. He’d been wary about those words since three years ago when he’d gotten his heart broken. Louis wanted to avoid that from happening again so he built up defenses and walls and armor and he promised himself he’d be careful the next time he used them. But he wanted to use them with Harry. Louis wanted to whisper it into his mouth, wanted to say it to him out loud while their eyes were locked, wanted to scream it on the rooftops of every building in every city.

It was insane because Louis had been fine for years -- met guys, had his fun and then forgotten them over and over again -- and then this one stupid boy with fucking dimples, curly brown hair and green eyes walked into his life, and he was ready to forget all of that. Louis had been fine with being just friends with him, really, but then somewhere down the line Harry must have done something stupid like smiled at him a certain way or kissed him in the pouring rain, and suddenly everything changed.

It felt like Louis’ whole life changed in a way. He had plans and he’d envisioned himself to be in a completely different place than he was right then, but Louis couldn’t picture himself anywhere else but in Harry’s arms anymore. He wanted to hold on to Harry like he was doing right then, his arms and legs entwined with Harry’s for the next twenty, thirty, fifty years. Until the end, really. Louis thought back to when his mum asked him whether or not Harry was _the one_ and after everything, Louis felt like Harry _could_ be and that was so scary. The thought of it had Louis’ heart racing and he wondered if Harry could hear it in his sleep.

Louis knew right then that he never wanted to let go of Harry in any way shape or form. He wanted Harry for the long run because he was so fucking in love with him. He’d been in love with him even before he realized it. Louis had just needed a while to figure it out. But now he had.

“I love you,” Louis whispered, trying the words and finding that he liked the way they sounded, even though Harry was too far into dreams to hear them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so some big stuff happened in this ch. what are you guys' thoughts about it? lemme know in a comment/message :) oh and usually, when i use a manip, i always leave the url on the picture, but i took permission from tumblr user kingspouses for the manip of harry licking louis' cheek as she asked for it! thank you so much :)  
>   
> [tumblr](http://quitefinishedlarry.tumblr.com/) / [fic page](http://quitefinishedlarry.tumblr.com/yail) / [chapter post](http://quitefinishedlarry.tumblr.com/post/140003664425/fic-you-are-in-love-author-wildestdreams)


	21. the one where things take a turn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **important! please read:**  
>  this chapter deals with a situation in which there is dubious consent and a person is put into a sexual situation when they are upset/drunk/extremely vulnerable. if you feel triggered by that then i suggest you skip the last section of the fic where i put a *** to mark that the scene is starting. if you want you can message me and i can brief you on what happens!  
>   
> aside from that, many thanks to [mac](http://realitybetterthanfiction.tumblr.com/) :)

Whoever came up with the idea of throwing a _CEO’s & Hoe’s_ themed frat party was either a genius or a terrible misogynist because what ended up happening at the party was something Louis found quite hilarious. Instead of most girls showing up in short, little skirts with busty dress shirts on top that were unbuttoned to reveal a killer rack, they showed up in actual pantsuits and dressed as the CEO rather than the “hoe”. It was nice, really, because everyone added their own touch to it by wearing a bright color or giving it a sexy twist or having it form fitted to show off their curves.

Harry and Louis decided to coordinate, too. Louis wore a smart white button up with a black collar, black dress pants and black and white suspenders. Harry, on the other hand, came as Louis’ geeky assistant. His outfit consisted of a crisp white shirt, a pair of deep brown slacks, a brown sweater vest and a matching tie. El also helped Harry style his hair by slicking it back with wax and parting it on the side in a simple quiff. However, what really completed the outfit were the nerdy glasses Harry wore. They had tape wrapped in the middle to hold them together, giving it that extra touch. Louis thought it was more cute than it was dorky, which made no sense whatsoever. Leave it to Harry fucking Styles to make geek look sexy. Louis was a little bitter that he had that sort of ability, but also extremely happy because Harry was all his.

The best part was that Dylan came wearing a full on black tuxedo with a magenta bow tie. Her curly caramel colored locks flowed freely, giving her that feminine touch along with the bright red lipstick she had on, so it balanced out. While it wouldn’t work on most, it worked on her because she was just that gorgeous and completely versatile.  

“You look like you’re getting married,” El laughed, her face bright and flushed, probably from the three shots she’d just downed.

Dylan shrugged, fixing up her bow tie and pulling at the ends. “Classy is what I look like. I’m digging this, guys,” she said to them, gesturing to the pantsuits. “I feel like we’re making a fucking statement.”

“Classy for a wedding,” El responded.

“I’ll marry you if you shut up,” Dylan said, flashing her a charming smile.

El positively preened at the comment, but also rolled her eyes to prove her nonchalance, trying to show that it wasn’t affecting her in any way. _Louis_ knew it did just by looking at her, but whether or not Dylan did, too, proved to still be a mystery. It wasn’t out of the ordinary or surprising to see the two of them flirt as openly as they did now that El was no longer with Max (those two had an amicable split and still chatted from time to time). In fact, it was quite a common occurrence to witness El and Dylan flirt, almost nauseatingly so. It seemed they’d crossed some barrier from friendship to possibly something more. It was too early to tell.

Still, all that mattered to Louis was that El was happy and finally starting to be her usual upbeat self again after their talk at the party. They hadn’t brought it up much since then, but she’d casually let slip certain things Dylan did that made her feel butterflies in her stomach or had her blushing red.

While El and Dylan flirted shamelessly, Louis let his eyes wander a bit, looking around the room they were in. Ed and Niall were off having a dance battle to a Ke$ha song. Taylor and Barbara were taking selfies. Liam and Zayn were sharing a spliff while laughing about something or another. The only person missing was Harry.

Louis frowned curiously, turning away from El and Dylan to look over into the next room. He couldn’t spot him at first, but then as a few people shuffled out of view, Louis noticed him. Harry was standing with a few guys in the frat, but he was talking to a girl instead of them. Louis couldn’t recognize her, but from the looks of it, it seemed she knew Harry well. Whatever she was saying had Harry smiling, dimpled and relaxed as though they spoke often. Louis knew Harry talked to a lot of girls, so it didn’t bother him because it didn’t mean anything, but then he saw her hand casually stroke over his arm. Louis’ frown deepened after that when she flicked her fingers out to feel his hair, stroking through it.

He wasn’t oblivious nor was he born yesterday. When someone was flirting, Louis could tell very well because he did the same things, too. Casual touches, but letting your hands linger a bit longer than necessary. Making the object of your affection smile while also laughing at everything they said. Standing close and talking in whispers as though you didn’t want anyone else hearing what you were talking about. Louis knew the whole spiel. Whoever this girl was -- she was bringing out the big guns and flirting with _his_ boyfriend.

Those ugly feelings of jealousy unfurled in Louis’ stomach, making him feel possessive and bitter. Louis almost felt like walking over to Harry and pissing around him to mark or claim his territory. Of course, he wasn’t actually going to do that, but in his head he sure fucking was. Instead, Louis waited until that girl walked away -- after giving Harry a hug, no less -- and charged over to him. Harry only got a moment to register it all before Louis was pulling him down by the back of his neck to join their mouths together.

The kiss was bruising and hard, but good. _So fucking good_ like every single one of Louis’ kisses with Harry were. Harry’s lips always tasted sweet and felt soft. Louis couldn’t help but suck on Harry’s plump bottom lip, biting down on it teasingly. Harry didn’t really question his sudden urge to make out in the middle of a crowded room at a party, which Louis was thankful for because all he wanted was to just do this -- remind Harry and mostly himself that he was still Louis’ boyfriend and no matter how many girls or boys flirted with him -- that fact didn’t change.

Instead, Harry pulled the two of them back towards the wall and away from the middle of the room where they were blocking the way for others. One of Harry’s hands rested on Louis’ upper back, holding him up properly while his other hand, naturally, went down to grip Louis’ bum. Louis would never understand Harry’s obsession with grabbing his arse while they made out, but he wouldn’t ever complain either because it turned him _the fuck on_.

“What’s up?” Harry managed to finally ask as Louis nipped at his bottom lip.

“Just wanted you,” Louis replied. “Is that alright?”

“‘Course, baby,” he said, slotting their lips together again. “Want you all the time, did you know?”

Louis smiled softly as Harry trailed kisses down to his jaw, tickling him in the process. “I wasn’t aware, but you could always let me know. It’s cool.”

“If I did that, I’d be fucking you all the time. Fucking you into the next century, practically.”

Harry’d just pressed his lips against Louis’ again, but Louis sputtered out a laugh while panting heavily from the kissing. “Yeah, well, that’s alright with me, I guess. Not like I’m in this for anything else other than your big dick.”

Harry looked appalled, his frown deep and lips parted in shock. “ _Heeeeey_ ,” he drawled out in an affronted tone. “That’s not nice. I mean -- it’s _nice_ \-- but come on. Give a man more credit than his family jewels.”

Louis wrinkled his nose. “ _Family jewels_? Have you been picking up vocabulary from Niall again?”

“Don’t change the subject,” Harry warned him. “I feel objectified, really.”

“You know I’m joking,” Louis said, looking up at him through his lashes. “You’re the best. Prettiest, smartest, funniest, nicest, loveliest boyfriend ever. Extremely hot, too.”

The words _I love you_ were at the tip of Louis’ tongue -- again. He wanted to say it to Harry as easily as Harry said it to him, but something stopped him. Did Louis want his first time admitting he loved Harry back to be in the middle of a party where drunk people were dancing around them and they were several drinks in themselves? Not really, no. Louis wanted it to be in the perfect setting where they were both alone, away from all of this, and there wasn’t a smudge of space between their bodies. Louis wanted it to be special, as cheesy as that was. Harry deserved it. He’d been patient with Louis and Louis was going to give it to him in the best way possible.

“Now you’re just flattering me,” Harry preened in response to Louis’ compliments, swatting at his bum before gripping it in his palms.

“‘M only being honest. I’m quite digging the nerd look. Different than your usual James Dean get up.”

“James Dean get up. You're funny,” Harry said with an amused tone before fixing Louis with a hooded gaze. His eyes were dark, clouded with lust as he pulled Louis close again. “C’mere. Kiss me.” Louis easily complied, his lips claiming Harry’s in a heated snog once again.

+++

“All I’m saying is that Liam really shouldn’t be _that_ angry with me,” Zayn said, his tone matter of fact. “I mean, _yeah_ , maybe I shouldn’t have drawn penises on his face with a Sharpie the day before an important meeting with his Dean about what he’s going to do after graduating, but I was _drunk_. I can’t be held accountable for what I do when I’m drunk.”

Louis looked at Zayn with a small frown on his face wondering if Zayn was hearing himself. It was quite amusing, but also a little insane that he wasn’t seeing the point. “You’re honestly trying to justify what you did,” Louis said to him as they walked through campus together. It was a warm, Spring day and everyone was out wearing shorts and tank tops, sunbathing on Queen’s Lawn in between classes. Louis himself was donning shorts and a muscle tank to relish in the warm weather that seemed impossible a few months ago with all the cold and snow. “Look -- you know I love drawing penises on people's faces just as much as you do, but this is a bit too far. Like, Liam has a giant penis with cum flying out of it drawn on his face and he’s meeting his Dean. This literally makes him look like an imbecile. Doesn’t make your frat look too good, either.”

“He was drunk, too,” Zayn argued insistently. “Maybe he shouldn’t have drank that much last night and blacked out to the point where he couldn’t even tell I was drawing on him. Not my fault. Besides, how was I supposed to know he was meeting his Dean today?”

“You live with him. He’s your roommate.”

Zayn paused for a moment before speaking again. “Like I said. How was I supposed to know? Besides, maybe they’re laughing about it right now. Engineers aren’t too uptight, right? Not like Med students, at least.”

Louis shook his head, laughing at Zayn disapprovingly. “You’re ridiculous. Really great job on the details of the penis drawings, but fucking ridiculous.”

“One of my many talents. I perfected it during freshmen year art. I can teach you,” Zayn piped up before turning to look at Louis as they approached the Law building. “What time are El and Harry done again?”

“Think they’re just about done,” Louis replied, checking the time on his phone before walking up the steps to go inside. Zayn and Louis were on their way to pick Harry and El up from their lecture to go for lunch, but may have been early. Louis’d been in lectures himself all day and was finally done, ready to relax and hang out with his mates. With school coming to a close, the course workload was rather large and exhausting, but senioritis had hit Louis hard and he didn’t feel like doing any work at all.

The two of them walked down the hall towards the room number that El had texted Louis, only to find that they were already done. El and Dylan were standing on the side, distracted in their own bubble that they’d formed around themselves, like they did so often. And Harry was off on the other side talking to -- Louis frowned -- that girl from the party. The one who had been flirting with him. The situation and scene this time around was just as similar. Harry was smiling at whatever it was she was saying, while she giggled at something he responded with. Her hand was carefully holding onto his arm around the elbow. From Harry’s expression, Louis could tell he was slightly tensed up from where her hand was resting on him, but was trying not to let it on.

“Oh, they’re done,” Zayn realized, walking over to El and Dylan while Louis stayed where he was and continued to watch Harry and the girl as discreetly as he could. She’d finally removed her hand to pull her phone out of her bag and gestured for him to do the same. They then exchanged numbers before saying goodbye. When Harry straightened up and looked around, finally noticing Louis, his smile brightened up and he walked over.

One of his hands wove around Louis waist to bring him closer for what he assumed was a kiss, but then Harry stilled, pausing only to flip his snapback so that the lid was facing backwards before swooping in to press his lips with Louis’. “Hey, you,” he mumbled, dipping his tongue in Louis’ mouth before drawing back to look at him. “Ready to go?”

Louis nodded with a small, tight lipped smile. “Yeah -- uh, who was that you were talking to?” he asked him as casually as he could.

Harry looked over to the spot where he and that girl were standing before, as if he had to jog his memory back because he was distracted by something else now. “Oh, that. Yeah, she’s in my lectures. Comes to the parties over at the frat house, too. She was asking me about the assignment we’d been given today.”

“Oh,” Louis hummed, trying to calm himself down even though every inch of him was simmering with jealousy and anger. “What’s her name?”

“Stella,” Harry responded. “Known her for a while. She was in my lectures before, too, but we only started talking this year.”

“She asked for your number?”

Harry nodded, once again having to pause and think back. “Yeah, to help her with the assignment.” He eyed Louis warily for a moment, just about to say something more when El and Zayn ambled over with Dylan in tow.

“I’m crashing your lunch date,” Dylan announced, leading the way with the other two following her. “We’re going for Thai food!”

Harry nodded his head, turning to look at Louis once before following them. He flipped his snapback again, grabbed Louis’ hand and laced their fingers together, leading Louis out with him.

 

+++

The following night, Harry and Louis found themselves sat on Louis’ balcony, the sun setting softly in front of them in shades of pinks, oranges, purples and blues. They’d made dinner after El left with a bag in tow to sleep over at Dylan’s, leaving the entire flat to them. And while Louis’ cooking abilities were very limited to about a handful of dishes, Harry, on the other hand, was a proper chef. He loved experimenting and trying new things, often cooking most of the meals for the boys and himself. Tonight, the two of them attempted making chicken stuffed with mozzarella wrapped in parma ham with a side of homemade mash and it took _forever_ , most likely because it was their first time. It was fun, though. While they cooked, Harry and Louis kissed against counter tops and laughed and talked about random things, like which one of their friends was going to get married first, who would knock up who first, and whether or not Liam becoming friends with his Dean after the penis incident made Zayn an actual genius or still a fucking moron.

Once the food was done, they took their plates out to the balcony and dug in. It was rather good for a first try and they were both appeased and content. After dinner was finished, they set aside their plates and Harry climbed onto Louis’ lap, kissing him soundly. It was slow and neither of them were really expecting it to lead anywhere yet, but that didn’t stop Harry from whispering suggestive things into Louis’ ear, anyway. Stuff like, _we should totally have sex out here, Lou, imagine how hot that would be -- anyone could hear or see_.

Unfortunately for him, Louis wasn’t an exhibitionist and all Harry was going to get was a heated snog. Not that it wasn’t enough because they were both smiling and happy with the pace of it all. However, as sweet and easy as it all was, Louis’ mind still hadn’t drifted too far from Stella and her continuous efforts at flirting and talking with Harry. It wasn’t that Harry wasn’t allowed to talk to other people or make friends with them. Louis would never stop him from that. But he was sure Stella knew Harry was taken -- everyone who knew them knew that -- and for some reason that wasn’t enough for her to stop flirting with him.  

The insecurity that Louis’d felt about Harry’s reputation, all the girls and boys that surrounded him and just everything that came with being in a relationship with him, seemed to come to head since yesterday. And Louis’d always been able to push it down and ignore it before, but not anymore. There was a part of Louis that wanted to charge up to anyone who was talking about or to _his_ boyfriend in that manner and tell them off, but another part of him also knew that as long as they weren’t actually doing anything, Louis couldn’t. He’d look crazy and out of his mind ridiculous if he did something like that.

Louis’ insecurity didn’t have anything to do with his own personal confidence, though, because it was different. Over the past few years, Louis’d managed to hold himself with poise and not let boys make him look like a fool anymore as they had done several times before. It was a personal promise to himself and he’d managed to keep it. That was until Harry came along. Louis was in love with Harry in a way he’d never been in love before. Harry could potentially take Louis higher than anyone before or break him harder than anyone before. He didn’t necessarily think Harry’d cheat on him or anything, but it didn’t settle well with him knowing that Stella was out there on the fucking prowl. Couldn’t she have found another guy who wasn’t Harry -- who was actually single and not taken? Louis knew plenty of single guys in the frat. He would literally personally matchmake her with any other guy as long as she stayed away from Harry.

Louis drew back from Harry, their lips slick and pink, and placed his hands on Harry’s shoulders to hold him back because he was trying to chase Louis’ lips for another kiss. Harry looked at him, pupils blown and confused. “What’s up?” he asked, stroking Louis’ hair.

“Can we talk?” Louis asked him softly.

Harry’s frown deepened curiously and he nodded. “Sure. What’s going on?”

“I just -- I wanted to say that -- like, you know I trust you, right?” Louis stammered unsure of how to even begin.

Harry nodded earnestly. “Of course,” he smiled easily. “What’s this about?”

“If I told you to stop talking to Stella, would you?”

Harry’s eyes narrowed in further confusion as he stared at Louis. He fish-mouthed for a moment, as though he was trying to make sense of Louis’ request and give a proper response before finally saying something. “Stella? Is this about her? Did she say something to you?”

“She didn’t say anything to me,” Louis shook his head. “I’ve never spoken to her. I just don’t want you to talk to her. Delete her number from your phone -- fuck, I don’t know. Just don’t talk to her, please.”

“Louis, calm down,” Harry said softly and Louis’d realized that he was sounding like he was on the verge of hyperventilating. It was scary, though, because now that he was finally saying something about it, he didn’t know if he could hold himself back anymore. Harry looked at him, concern etched on his features. “As much as I’d like to listen to you and respect your wishes, I don’t know if I can do that.”

Louis frowned at him then, his brows furrowed and confused. _Why_? Why couldn’t Harry stop talking to a girl who he said he barely knew even after knowing that it was bothering Louis? It wasn’t like she was important. She didn’t have to mean anything. Harry noticed Louis’ blatant, confused reaction and quickly continued.

“Babe, listen to me. I can ignore her, it’s fine with me. I won’t talk to her if that’s what you want, but what if she talks to me? What if she approaches me and I can’t get out of it. I’m not saying I’ll be her new best mate or anything, but I can’t promise that there won’t come a time where I’ll have to actually talk to her again.”

Sudden white, hot anger washed over Louis mixed in with desperate hurt. He huffed, pushing Harry off his lap, and standing up on his feet. He didn’t quite feel like having this conversation sat so close with him when he wasn’t fucking listening to a word Louis was saying. Fuck his logic and his stupid dedication to being polite and nice to everyone who came up to him. “I’m not fucking asking for a lot, Harry. It’s _one_ girl. I’m only asking you to stop talking to this one girl and you can’t even say that you will.”

With that, Louis stormed out of the balcony, their empty plates in hand, and walked into the kitchen where he dumped them in the sink to wash later. Harry followed Louis, naturally, his body language tense because this was it. They were actually having their _first fight_. When they used to be just friends, they’d had squabbles here and then, but this was an actual fight. Over a completely irrelevant person at that. Louis could feel himself getting angrier and more frustrated with each passing second at this whole situation, but mostly at Harry for not understanding where Louis was coming from and how much it bothered him.

“I’m honestly wondering what the fuck Stella even did for you to be so bent out of shape about this,” Harry started, his arms cross across his chest. “You said you didn’t talk to her, but you seem to _really_ dislike her.”

“She was flirting with you,” Louis admitted. “I’ve seen her do it at parties and then yesterday outside your class. She likes you Harry. I can tell and that’s why I don’t want you to talk to her.”

Harry fish-mouthed again, his expression changing from confused to mere surprise, as though he didn’t expect Louis to say that. Harry’s arms fell down at his sides and he moved closer to me. “She was flirting with me?” he asked. “Louis, I don’t care. I didn’t even realize she was flirting with me.”

“You’re not stupid, Harry. Anyone with eyes could tell. I know you know when people flirt with you.”

“Okay, but did you not hear the part where I said I don’t care? I don’t care about anyone except you. You shouldn’t be scared of them flirting with me or me talking to them because it won’t matter to me at the end of the day.”

Louis watched him quietly, his green eyes searching Louis’ with a deeply concerned glaze. Harry’s words were comforting because he believed him wholeheartedly. Louis knew Harry cared about him and that he loved him, however, it still wasn’t enough. Louis’d pushed down his jealousy and his insecurity regarding Harry and other people for so long -- long before they were together, even -- and it just wasn’t going to make it go away by Harry saying these things to him. Louis needed Harry to give him his word and not speak to her anymore, for Louis’ sake.

“Louis,” Harry prompted quietly when he wasn’t responding, his hand coming to rest on Louis’ waist gently. “Say something. I don’t want you upset, baby.”

Louis finally turned to look at Harry and shook his head slowly. “That’s not good enough. I don’t want you to talk to her and that’s it. I don’t care if I sound ridiculous, controlling or neurotic right now -- trust me, I don’t -- but I can’t handle her flirting with you when you’re with me.”

“That’s the thing, though,” Harry said fiercely, his voice rising as he got more frustrated. “I’m with _you_ and you can’t seem to get that bit. I’m with you completely. I’m your boyfriend, but you’re concerned about some random girl talking to me.”

“If she’s some random girl, then why can’t you just _fucking_ stop talking to her?”

“I told you that I’ll _try_ ,” Harry practically shouted, making Louis stumble back in surprise despite his hand holding on to Louis. “If she comes up to me and talks to me then I can’t tell her to just fuck off because you said so. That’s not me, ok? What I don’t get is why you can’t trust me.”

“I do trust you,” Louis cried, pushing away from him. “I fucking trust you a lot. That’s the first thing I told you when I started this conversation.”

“It doesn’t sound like you trust me when you’re telling me to stay away from a girl who I keep telling you means absolutely nothing.”

“That’s the thing. It’s them I don’t trust, Harry. And you know what? Fuck it,” Louis laughed humorlessly, throwing his hands up in the air before letting them drop uselessly to his sides. “Fuck that I said anything because even if you don’t ignore her, someone else will probably flirt with you and then another one and another one. I bet a ton of people flirt with you when I’m not around. So, fuck that I ever said anything because in the end I can’t stop it.” Louis’ face crumpled at the realization that he had absolutely no control over any of this. He was half laughing and half on the verge of breaking down into hysterical tears.

Harry looked bewildered, his eyes wide and frantic as he closed the distance between them again. “What’s going on with you?” he asked Louis, his voice concerned and soft now. “Why are you acting this way? Don’t you get it? I don’t give a fuck about those people. I care about you, only you.”

“They’re still there, Harry,” Louis whispered, trying to ignore how his eyes were watering and stinging with tears. “It won’t matter how much I trust you because I can’t trust them. Not when you’ve fucked _half the people_ at this Uni and _I_ don’t matter.”

That seemed to be the last straw for Harry and he looked absolutely furious. “You don’t matter?” Harry asked, stepping away from Louis to fix him with an angry look. “When have I ever given you a reason to think that you don’t matter when all I ever do is care about _you_? I told you I love you. I spend all my time with you. I’ve repeatedly told you tonight that these people don’t matter to me and that I’m with _you_ , but then you throw the fact that I slept around in my face in an ugly way just to justify your point.”

“It’s not like I’m making it up,” Louis said to him in a sardonic tone.

“Yeah, well who suggested I sleep around in the first place?” Harry asked him, eyes narrowed and burning dark, as though he was challenging him. Louis froze, his lips parting in surprise. Harry chuckled grimly. “Didn’t think of that, did you? That doesn’t matter, though, cause you’ve clearly lost your fucking mind tonight. I can’t fucking believe you’d throw that in my face.”

“Well, I can’t fucking believe you’d throw the fact that I told you to sleep around in my face,” Louis retorted.

“It’s not like I’m making it up,” he said, repeating Louis’ words from before in the same mocking tone. “That was fucking low and even you have to admit it. I didn’t expect you of all people to say that to me when I’ve done literally nothing.”

Harry pushed past Louis then, walking out of the kitchen and this time Louis followed him. “Where are you going?” Louis asked, watching as Harry grabbed his wallet and phone off the table.

“Leaving,” he said.

“Oh, wow, so you’re just going to fucking walk out?”

“I wasn’t going to fucking walk out at first. I was going to work this out with you,” Harry said, turning to face him. “But I decided to leave once you accused me of fucking half the people at this Uni. Honestly Louis, I just don’t -- fuck it. I’ve had enough.” Harry charged past him, slipping into his boots by the front door and slamming it on the way out.

Louis gritted his teeth in anger, standing there in a now empty apartment that suddenly felt too quiet after all the fighting. Louis felt like he was on the verge of screaming out loud from all the frustration that had built up. What gave Harry the right to just walk out on him in the middle of an argument? That was hardly the way to handle the situation because it only made him look like a coward for running away. If this was how it was going to be whenever they fought, then fuck him.

Louis wished more than anything right then that El was there because Louis was so close to crumbling to the floor and crying, even if that meant she’d have had to witness him and Harry get into that fight. The thing was, Louis _hated_ crying. His eyes started tearing up during the fight, but he held himself back because he didn’t like the feeling that came with it. He felt weak and vulnerable, so he always avoided doing it and tried to control himself. However, he wasn’t so sure he could hold himself back tonight if he had to sit in an empty apartment with that fight playing back on a loop in his head.

And fuck that, really. Louis refused to sit at home and cry when Harry was the one who walked out. When Harry was the one who was going to stay the night with Louis, but he fucking walked out.

Louis felt like he had to get out of there, too. He had to get away just like Harry so he wouldn’t cry and feel bad when he hadn’t done anything. Louis quickly walked to his room to grab his phone and dialed the first person he could think of.

Taylor picked up on the third ring. “Hey, what’s up?”

“Are you at your dorm?” Louis asked her, getting right to the point. She often stayed with Ed despite having a dorm room on campus. Louis would have called El, but felt too guilty to break up her _sleepover_ with Dylan. His only other option was Taylor since he wasn’t going anywhere near Harry’s building to stay with the other boys.

Taylor paused for a moment, obviously taken aback by his tone. “Uh, yeah. Why?”

“Can I come and stay the night, please?” Louis begged. “I’ll explain once I get there, but I need to get out of here.”

“Yeah, sure. Come on over,” she replied right away.

“Thank you,” Louis breathed out in relief. He ended the call, pocketing his phone before leaving the flat. It was drizzling outside, which was odd because the weather had been perfect when Harry and Louis were sat on the balcony. Louis quickly walked the short distance to Taylor’s building, trying to avoid getting wet. Once he’d arrived, he tried to remember where Taylor’s room was since he’d only been there a handful of times and was relieved when he found it on the first try because he was sure that he’d forgotten and would have had to ask around.

Taylor was waiting for him by her door, standing there in her soft pink pyjamas and looking rather nervous. “Hey,” Louis said.

“Hi,” she said meeting him halfway. “Everything alright?”

Louis almost nodded, but then quickly shook his head. “No, no, it’s not,” he replied before pulling her into a desperate hug where he clung onto her, willing himself to _not_ cry. “Harry and I had a fight and he just walked out.”

“Shit,” she said, her voice soft and earnest. “I’m so sorry, Louis. What did you fight about? What happened?”

“It’s a long story,” Louis said, feeling exhausted all of a sudden. “You said you didn’t mind if I stayed the night, right?”

Taylor shook her head. “No, of course not. I’ve made you a bed on my couch.”

“Thank you.”

Taylor smiled softly and gave him another hug before leading him inside. She had a single room and had decorated it quite cozily with IKEA furniture and scented candles. There were mini bean bags and lots of quilts as well as cat figurines, which Louis had no doubt Ed got for her. Taylor took to making him instant hot chocolate with her microwave while Louis relayed the fight to her. Once he was done, he looked to Taylor, waiting for her verdict and thoughts.

“Do you want the truth or do you need to be coddled right now?” she asked resolutely.

“The truth.”

Taylor gave him a small smile before speaking. “I agree that Harry walking out was shitty, but what you said to him was sort of fucked up. I think that’s where you’re at fault. Other than that, I completely get you. He not only walked out on you in the middle of an argument, but he also won’t give his word that he’ll stop talking to this nobody. If a girl was flirting with Ed, I’d kill her. And I’d expect him to stay the fuck away from her. I think Harry should do as much for you.”

The diplomatic way of what Taylor said grounded Louis, making him realize that she was right. “I guess I shouldn’t have said what I did. It just sort of came out...like, I couldn’t hold myself back. And I didn’t mean it the way it came out, either. I just meant he has hooked up with a lot of people and they’re always going to be there and that bothered him a lot. Not that I’m judging him or pointing fingers at his character because I know I was the one who gave him the idea to go for it. It’s a fucking mess.”

“I know,” she said. “It’s good that you realize where you were wrong, but I’m mad that he wouldn’t listen to you. Also that he just walked out. That’s not done.”

“We’d never had a fight before -- not like this and I’m scared.”

“What are you scared about?”

Louis shrugged, feeling the sting in his eyes again. It went without saying that he was wondering whether or not Harry and he were going to make it. Louis was so _afraid_ of that because he did love Harry. He wanted this to work and he was concerned if Harry was going to come back and say that they weren’t going to work out. That would break Louis’ heart. He didn’t know if he could handle that.

“Louis,” Taylor said, squeezing his hand to make him meet her eyes. “You two will be fine. If there is anything I’ve been sure about from the start it’s that you two have something special. Seeing you two together and how in love you are, I know for a fact that you’ll make it. This is just a small fight and it’ll blow over. I promise. It’s shitty that he walked out and made you doubt your relationship.”

“I don’t blame him anymore,” Louis said, feeling himself starting to sober up from all the anger. “I shouldn’t have said what I did. I should have worded it differently. Now, I don’t know what to do.”

“What’s done is done. He should have given you a moment to explain yourself. Anyways, let’s just go to bed and you can wake up and talk to him if he’s up for it. Thinking about it now when your emotions are at an all time high won’t solve things.”

“Okay,” Louis agreed, even though he knew sleep was going to be fitful and restless tonight. He headed to the bathroom while Taylor got into her bed. When he came back, she looked up from her phone while under the covers.

“Got a text from Ed,” she said. “Apparently, Harry came home and they went to the bar and got sloshed. He’s a mess.”

Louis slowly got into bed, not really knowing how to react to that. Was it good that Harry was upset and wanted to get drunk or was it gross that he was at the bar, possibly socializing and having fun while Louis was on the verge of a breakdown? He hadn’t checked his phone since he left his flat, though, and wondered if Harry tried to reach him. Louis grabbed his phone from his jacket pocket, pulling it out to find tons of texts from Harry.

 

After that it became less and less coherent as to what he was saying. “He texted me,” Louis told Taylor. “Should I say something?”

Taylor shook her head. “Don’t bother right now. Ed will take care of him for tonight. Make him suffer a bit more for being a dickwad and then tomorrow ask to talk like proper adults.”

“We are hardly proper adults,” Louis sighed sadly as he put his phone down and got comfortable under Taylor’s lavender smelling blankets. “We’re just _trying_ to be. Pretending to be, more like. We are all horrible adults. We’re like kids, but in adult clothing.”

“You’re making no sense, Louis,” Taylor laughed. “Go to sleep. I promise you’ll feel better once you get some rest.”

Louis willed his eyes to close and ignored the vibrations that came from his phone signaling new texts. It felt weirdly quiet after that. The only sounds other than his phone came from Taylor’s soft snoring. Eventually Louis drifted off to sleep himself, exhausted from everything that had happened that night. His last thoughts circled around whether or not Harry was okay and whether or not _they’d_ be okay.

+++

Louis woke up to soft whispers and a gentle prodding at his shoulder. When he opened his eyes, Taylor was staring down at him. Louis blinked blearily, feeling like he’d only just shut his eyes one minute ago before being woken up.

“Whassat?” Louis mumbled.

“I’m so sorry to wake you,” Taylor said. “I’ve got to get to class and I wanted to let you know before I left so you didn’t wake up to an empty dorm room.”

“It’s okay,” he replied, sitting up and rubbing at his eyes. He felt disoriented and the more he woke up, the more of last night’s memory came flooding back to him in horrible waves. “God, what time is it?”

“It’s about nine in the morning,” Taylor replied, grabbing her bag and books. “Will you be alright?”

“I think so, yeah. I might leave. Got classes of my own.” Louis picked up his phone to find that he had a flood of new messages from Harry as well as phone calls and voicemails. _Fuck_. They didn’t stop until about two hours ago. Louis felt horrible and guilty all of a sudden, wondering if Harry was okay or not. He’d literally gone to sleep worrying about him and woke up being twice as concerned. He had to see him right away and know he was okay, otherwise Louis’d probably go insane.

“You okay?” Taylor asked, noticing Louis’ sudden change of demeanor.

“I think so,” Louis mumbled back. “I just. I think I need to go.”

“Okay, sure. Just grab your things then. I’ll be down in the lobby.” Louis quickly nodded and jumped out of bed, eager to get to Harry as soon as possible.

+++

The walk back to Louis’ flat was grueling. He’d finally opened the new messages from Harry. They’d gotten significantly better as time went on and he sobered up. There were four hours in between the time he’d sent the first few texts that Louis’d opened last night and then a few from after. He’d assumed Harry was still at the bar with Ed and hadn’t had his phone out or summat.

 

What followed those were a few phone calls in intervals. Harry had only left one voicemail, though, and hearing it made Louis’ heart plummet.

 _Louis, I’m -- uh -- I’m sat outside your door. I’m so sorry for walking out. I feel terrible now. I don’t know if you’re ignoring me or if you’re even home because I’ve been knocking, but_ please _. I can’t let you go to bed sad. We can talk this out...in the morning if you’d like or even now. Let’s just sleep together. I miss you, I’m so sorry. I love you and I’m not going anywhere. We’ll work it out, Lou._

When Louis finally arrived, he rushed up the stairs, almost half expecting Harry to still be sat outside his door -- except that he wasn’t. It made sense. He did have classes today. Maybe Louis could go see him after his lectures and pick him up again. That way he wouldn’t miss Harry and they could finally just work it out and things could be okay again.

It was foolish and naive to think so. It was also silly to believe that just because Louis missed Harry meant that everything between them could be fixed. Conversations needed to be had and things still needed to be said. However, what was different was that Louis wasn’t mad anymore and they were both willing to make it work. That was all that mattered.

+++

Louis stood as patiently as he could outside of Harry and El’s lecture. They were meant to be getting out any minute now, but their Professor seemed to be the type that never knew when to stop. He was still droning on, even though students were starting to pack up. Louis was trying to peek into see if he could spot Harry, but it was such a big class that he gave up after a while. Harry would be getting out any minute now, anyway, and Louis could finally see him.

When the class finally dismissed, Louis stood off on the side and waited and waited, but Harry never came out. El and Dylan were amongst the last to trickle out of the classroom and Louis rushed to them, probably looking frazzled as fuck. He hadn’t changed out of last night’s clothes nor had he bothered to brush his hair. When he went to his flat, he only picked up his books before heading to his own classes. Louis didn’t want to go at all, to be honest, but being so close to finals, he couldn’t afford to miss it. Seemed useless, though, because he couldn't concentrate at all, mostly just plagued with thoughts about Harry.

“Hey,” Louis said, approaching El and Dylan, both of whom were very surprised to see him. “Is Harry in?”

“Harry didn’t come to class today,” El answered. “Didn’t he spend the night with you?”

Louis frowned, wondering where Harry could have gone if he wasn’t in class or at his flat. He could have gone home, but Taylor would have said something to him. She was in constant touch with Ed after all and said she’d let Louis know if there were any more updates. Louis decided to finally call Harry, excusing himself from El and Dylan. They watched him carefully with confused expressions, but didn’t say anything. When Louis dialed, it didn’t ring at all, but went straight to voicemail, instead. Louis cursed under his breath, just about to dial again when he heard a few girls talking as they walked out of the classroom.

“Formal’s coming up,” one of them said. “Any idea who you’re taking?”

“No idea,” the other girl answered. After a quick glance, Louis realized it was Stella. “I hope whoever I end up going with is hot, though. I’m looking to get laid. I was at the bar last night trying to scope out potentials.”

“What about Harry Styles?”

Louis froze, his finger hovering over the call button next to Harry’s name.

Stella shrugged casually. “I fucked him. But, I was thinking maybe Justin Keele. He’s rather fit.”

All Louis could hear was the sound of his heart thumping in his chest, as if any moment it would burst. His thoughts were suddenly going a thousand miles per minute and he didn’t know whether he should plot Stella’s murder or if he should just finally cry because it felt like he was going to choke from the tears that were storing up inside of him. Louis felt like his chest was literally being split in half from everything that was happening -- from last night to what he’d just heard now, and he didn’t know if he could take anymore.  

_Fucked him already._

What did that even mean? When? Where? How? _When did she fuck him_? Surely, she wouldn’t be lying to her friend just to have something to brag about. And she’d said it so easily, as though it wasn’t a lie and something she was already so casual and smug about. When would they have even done it? Was this before Harry and Louis got together? If that was the case, then why hadn’t Harry mentioned that to him when he’d asked him about her? All Harry’d told him then was that she was in his classes who often came to the frat parties and that they spoke occasionally.

But -- but then what if it wasn’t before he and Louis got together? What if it was last night when they were both at the bar? Immediately, dread filled Louis’ stomach in the ugliest way. Whatever it was that had happened between them, it all came down to Harry being selfish. He was saving himself, not sparing Louis a thought about how this must be for him. Harry was hiding something from him, regardless of whether it was last night that he fucked Stella or before that. And Louis didn’t deserve that. He wanted to throw up and cry and scream and cry some more. When he turned to look back to where Stella and her friend were, he saw that they were long gone. He then turned to look over at El and Dylan. El met Louis’ eyes and smiled at him.

“You okay?” she asked.

Louis didn’t know what to say so he shrugged. “I don’t fucking know,” he said, his voice thick as a dry laugh escaped his lips.  

“What happened?” El’s eyes were filled with concern as she walked over with Dylan. “You’re being really strange. Did something happen?”

“I can’t -- I can’t talk about this right now,” Louis replied helplessly. He couldn’t say it out loud. He couldn’t repeat what was going through his head because the possibility of it had Louis feeling so small and stupid and fucked up. Could Harry do this to him? He loved Louis. Harry told him he loved him last night. Was that before or after he fucked Stella, though?

 _Fuck_. Fuck everything.

“You look like you need a bit of cheering up,” Dylan piped in. “My sorority is doing this day drinking thing at our house. El’s going to come. You should, too.”

“I--I don’t know,” Louis stammered, not sure if he was up to being surrounded by tons of people at the moment. But then it dawned on him what this was -- he was letting Harry get to him and make him look weak and pathetic and foolish. Like before when Louis’d get fucked over by a guy and be the one that was sad when it really should have been the other way around and it was happening now, too.

If Louis ended up going home alone or anywhere, really, he’d probably start crying and finally give in to it all. He had wanted to see Harry, but wasn’t sure how to do that anymore after what he’d just heard. If Harry did cheat on him or lie to him, Louis’d be devastated and he wasn’t quite ready to face that yet. He also had no idea where Harry was because his phone wasn’t ringing.  

It was hard. The whole thing was hard and Louis had felt like his whole being was being kicked down since last night. How were things fucking up so quickly and horribly? Harry and him had been okay and now they suddenly weren’t. Like, Harry could have potentially cheated on Louis and Louis was about to have a nervous breakdown in front of El and Dylan in the middle of campus.

Maybe going with them would be a good idea. Maybe a drink or two could help him -- loosen him up and think clearly because right now he was fucking horrified and fuming and so close to crying.

“You know what?” Louis managed to breathe out. “I think I’ll come.”

“Right on,” Dylan grinned. “Off we go then. You’ll feel better in no time.”

***+++***

Louis ended up having more than one or two drinks.

In his defense, though, that was because everyone around him was offering him refills from the keg that was set up. The day drinking event was held in the backyard of the sorority house. The weather was spot on as opposed to last night when it was drizzling with dark clouds overcast. Girls were out and about in shorts and tank tops with their colorful snapbacks, taking selfies and chugging down beer, while boys from frats, like Theta Chi, were doing keg stands and getting sloppy in their obnoxious greek letter shirts.

The atmosphere itself was happy. The sun was shining and everyone was in good spirits except for Louis. He was sat on the front porch steps rather than in the back where it was more crowded and wild, yet all he felt was a mix of sadness and anger. Everything felt surreal, like he couldn’t believe this was happening because things had been so great just yesterday. He also felt suffocated and like he was choked up, which might have had a lot to do with how much he was suppressing his need to _properly_ react to everything.

Given what had happened -- the argument, Harry walking out, all those texts and voicemails, and then what Louis’d overheard a little while ago -- he could have had a good cry. He could have confronted Harry right away and demanded answers. He could have done something other than stamp it down because he didn’t want to let another boy hurt him and make him look stupid. Louis just didn’t want to be that guy anymore. Louis promised himself and he was intending on keeping it for as long as he could. However, ignoring it and sitting out there at a sorority house getting progressively drunk was not ideal, either.

Although, alcohol turned out to be a better choice rather than sitting around and thinking about Harry and Stella fucking, so there’s that.

Fuck. The very thought of it made Louis want to claw her face off as well as Harry’s. He wanted to scream at the top of his lungs till he lost his voice because he was that angry. How everything could change so quickly within the span of 24 hours was beyond him. It didn’t mean he wasn’t thinking about Harry, though. Louis wondered where he was. Was he looking for him? Was he having another go with her? Louis wouldn’t have known because sometime within the first hour of him being there at the day drinking event and rereading Harry’s messages, his phone had died. Louis hadn’t bothered to charge it since.

“Louis,” he heard someone say. Louis turned only to be met by Dean’s smile as he sat down beside him. “Didn’t expect you to be here.”

“Oh, I -- uh -- wasn’t expecting to be here, either,” Louis slurred, suddenly very aware of how fucking drunk he was. He had lost count of how many refills he had about three hours ago, but this was worse than he expected. As he lifted his head up to meet Dean’s eyes, his head started to spin and he had to pause for a moment to let it pass.

Dean eyed Louis warily as he took off his red ray bans. “You alright?” he asked, making Louis laugh bitterly. Everyone sounded like a broken record because anyone who had talked to him since last night had been asking him that same thing.

Louis shook his head slowly. “Not really. No.” Dean looked rather sad about that, probably not sure of what to say. Louis suddenly remembered that he had wanted to talk to him since he last saw him at the frat house. Now seemed as good as time as any, so he forced a smile on his face. “Hey. I wanted to talk to you.”

“Yeah, sure,” Dean said. “What’s up?”

“Are we okay?” Louis asked, blinking slowly and wondering why everything wouldn’t stop spinning. “Like, we haven’t spoken since me and Harry got together and I wanted to know if we were okay or not.”

“We’re fine,” he said with a small smile on his lips. “I mean, it hurt, sure. But it is what it is.”

Louis smiled at him sadly after that. “It is what it is, yeah. But I’m really sorry, Dean. I never meant to hurt anybody -- especially you. You know I think you’re a great friend, though, right?”

“Of course,” he laughed. “We’re okay. Don’t worry. I understand that Harry and you have a thing.”

“We’re in love,” Louis said to him confidently before grimacing. “I think. I _think_ we’re in love. We’re supposed to be in love.”

Dean frowned, putting a hand on Louis shoulder and leaning in closer. “Hey -- hey, you alright?” he asked again. “You don’t look so good.”

Louis shook his head again, his composure shaking and ultimately crumbling. He felt like a thin rope, tethered and fragile, on the verge of breaking and ripping in half. With Dean’s arm wrapped around him and holding him close, Louis felt like he was going to give in to the crying because nothing made him cry more than when people tried to comfort him. Crying was essentially meant to be therapeutic. So, when people comforted Louis and said nice things and tried to make him feel better, it only made him want to let it all out even more.

“You can talk to me, Louis,” Dean whispered, his face close. His breath smelled like beer and he himself smelled like a mix of sweat and cologne. It didn’t feel familiar at all.  

“I think that Harry might have cheated on me,” Louis said to him quietly, his voice barely audible over the loud music and laughs ringing through the house. “We had a fight last night and I heard some stuff and I just. I can’t deal with it so I’m here.”

Dean frowned, like he was thinking of something instead of answering right away. When Louis turned to him, he fixed his expression to something more neutral and sincere. “I’m so sorry. That was so shitty of him. You don’t deserve that at all.”

“I don’t know,” he shrugged, wiping at his eyes roughly to try and stop any tears from falling. “I don’t fucking know. I don’t want to think about it, though. Fuck it, right? If it’s true then fuck it. Fuck him.”

Louis realized he may have started crying or at least started breathing really heavy, but he couldn’t think past the spinning in his head. Dean kept saying something to him, whispering in his ear while rubbing circles on his back and it felt wrong, but Louis let him do it anyway. His throat felt like it was constricting the more he held it all back -- the more he held himself back from crying. And then when Louis felt Dean’s hand slip under his shirt onto his waist, he turned to look at him, and suddenly Dean was kissing him on the lips.

Louis pulled away immediately, wiping his mouth and looking at Dean with a shocked expression. Dean froze for a moment, as though he’d realized what he’d just done, but then gave a short laugh. “If he can then why can’t you?” he asked.

And that was kind of right. If Harry could break the rules and break Louis’ heart, then why couldn’t he do the same?

What Louis did next was a complete out of body reaction. He leaned back in to kiss Dean, Dean’s hands grappling to hold on to him so he wouldn’t pull away this time. Everything about it was screaming _wrong_ and _unfamiliar_ and _strange_ and _not Harry_ , but it continued to happen anyway. It continued as Dean pushed his tongue into Louis’ mouth and pulled him up to his feet, leading him into the house. It continued as his hands sought purchase on Louis’ skin, digging underneath his shirt while he pulled Louis into the first bathroom he spotted.

Louis moved on physical instinct alone, trying to block out the pain in his chest and the thoughts of what had led to this moment. He let Dean move his body any which way he desired and followed along without resistance. Dean’s hands were all over him, tugging at his clothes, pressing against his skin, but he couldn’t really _feel_ it. It was like his body was just as numb as his mind. He heard the sound of a zipper distantly, heard the wet sound of someone sucking on a finger. It wasn’t until Louis was backed up against a wall with his legs wrapped around Dean’s waist and his pants pulled down that he realized he was screaming and crying. The reality of what was happening crashed into him the second Dean’s spit slick finger breached him, roughly and without the tender words that Harry usually whispered with this same act. The tears that had been threatening all day finally spilled down his cheeks and his body wouldn’t stop shaking. This _hurt_. It wasn’t _right_. Everything was fucked up, because when Louis blinked his eyes open, even through the tears, he could see that it wasn’t Harry’s green eyes looking back at him, so full of love. Louis needed Harry.

“No, please, I can’t,” Louis gasped. “Please no.”

Dean immediately took his fingers out, his eyes wide, frantic and blown. Louis clumsily got down on his feet, pulling his pants up before running out of the bathroom. Louis ran past everyone at the house and through the doors, and then down the street. He didn’t stop until he was in front of his building, running up the stairs to get to his flat. He felt like the sobs were being ripped out of him and he just let it happen. Louis let the tears fall, let his eyes turn red and let his nose run from thinking about how much he’d just fucked up.

***+++***

_(7) missed calls from harry styles_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first off: i'm sorry  
>   
> secondly: i'm sure people have many things to say and i am all up for hearing them. just leave me a comment, but please don't be mean about it. i've gotten really nasty comments in the past where people were not happy with certain characters and i feel that we all need to step back and realize it's a fic, first and foremost, and people in real life mess up too. i like angst and i like stories that emotionally gt a lot out of people. and for anyone who finds this all a bit random and out of nowhere after all that fluff, remember that louis has been feeling this way for a while from before. so, i structured it so that it leads up to this. as i said, certain things in this fic does resonate with something i personally went through and i've had things go great for a long time and then within a matter of days just fall apart. and you're going to experience that a lot for the rest of the story. i hope you liked it regardless because i quite liked how i wrote this.
> 
> i don't wanna sit here and ramble. i'm sure you all have a lot to say and i've got a lot to say as well, but we can discuss in the comments or in messages! shoot me one :)  
>   
> [tumblr](http://softasurcheek.tumblr.com/) / [fic page](http://softasurcheek.tumblr.com/yail) / [chapter post](http://softasurcheek.tumblr.com/post/140183874165/fic-you-are-in-love-author-wildestdreams)


	22. the one where harry finds out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **note to readers:**  
>  the reaction to the last chapter was quite overwhelming and for good reason. things got seriously fucked up. and tbh i expected a strong reaction. some people expressed their sadness, others were loving the angst/drama, and others found the whole thing fucked up and were just not happy with either of the characters. and that's literally what i intended. i wanted drama and i wanted angst bc that's what i'm good at writing. and that sounds a bit messed up that i am good at writing angst. it probably has a lot to do with the boys i was involved with and how crazy and angsty my situations with them were. that's particularly why i write my personal experiences into fic because it helps me come to terms with not only that time of my life, but also me. through writing this fic and many others, i realized my perception of love and expectations of it are a bit misconstrued.
> 
> many people told me that i should have just made harry/louis have a fight and resolve it like mature adults but i myself am not a mature adult. i'm a girl in my early 20's who has no idea what she's fucking doing in terms of love and relationships. it's been a while since i have been in a relationship and ive probably got super bad trust issues to blame it on because i've been hurt before _plenty_ of times. and i exert that hurt and sadness into writing. just call me the taylor swift of fanfiction if you want to lmao. so yeah, maybe that would have been the mature thing to do but i wanted the angst because that's what happened to me. many people sort of forgot (or maybe didn't) that this is based on things that happened to me. i took people/situations/dialogue/etc. out of my own life and made it into this huge fic so it means a lot to me. and in real life people mess up. people fuck things up and they make mistakes, but that doesn't mean they're unforgivable. from a human standpoint if someone is realizing their mistake and things are being resolved and time has gone and you want to forgive them because they mean a lot to you, then do it. life is too fucking short and time will literally pass by and you'll realize that because you held on to a small mistake that did not mean anything in the grand scheme of things, you let someone special go.
> 
> you're all probably super confused because we have not delved that deep into the fic, but what i'm trying to say is, read the story if you want to (i _really_ hope you do because i promise a happy ending), but do not expect something where the characters do what _you_ think is right and be mature _right away_ because that won't happen. when you're hurt or lost, you do irrational things, but you _learn_ from it. i'm still learning how to understand my own mistakes and owning up to it. this fic will have a good dose of angst, it will have characters that mess up, and some points of plot which you will not agree with. but it will eventually lead them into realizing where they were wrong and making things right.
> 
> but the saddest thing you can do is send me a list of reasons why you hated it and then be like i won't read this anymore. you have every right to not read it and i won't expect you to if it upsets you, but please don't tell me a list of things you disliked about something i spent hours working on with my whole heart. this fic means a lot to me and it is so personal that hearing stuff like that really gets to me even though i didn't think it would. majority of the things going on in the fic are things that actually happened to me. i am louis in a nutshell -- my insecurity is what fucked up majority of the relationships i had. and it doesn't take long for things to get messy and out of control because of curveballs thrown at you from life. i could have gone a lot of ways with this story, but i chose to be honest and real, and if i try to veer from that i won't have done it or myself justice.  
>   
> sorry for rambling, but i had to say all that. i'm not pointing at anyone because everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but please be nice <3 and if any of you want to discuss anything that happened so far and ask me why I did it, i'd be happy to discuss with you :) thanks to [mac](http://realitybetterthanfiction.tumblr.com/) for being my rock through all this!  
>   
>  **also a warning:**  
>  there is a physical fight scene in this chapter. if anyone does not want to read it, you can simply skip over it because it is quite obvious when it begins. and _no_ it's not between harry/louis.

Louis literally flung himself off his bed, running out of his room and to the front door, flinging it open to see Harry walking up the last few steps. Harry paused at the landing, giving Louis a small, tentative smile and Louis quickly closed the distance between them, running into his arms. Harry caught him easily, pulling him close into a hug, but for some reason it didn’t feel close enough. Louis wanted to let himself get completely consumed by Harry as impossible as that was. His arms, which were wrapped around Harry’s neck, were tight in comparison to how gently Harry was holding him with his own arms looped around Louis’ waist. Louis felt desperate and needy, relieved to see Harry and have him after last night, so much so it almost felt like a dream.

They hugged contently and Louis could feel tears forming in his eyes already. It was just dreadful how much he missed Harry, even though it had only been one day. They’d been apart for longer times than that before and Louis’d never reacted quite like this. He supposed it was only because they’d fought and with everything that had happened, it only made him miss Harry more. Harry nudged Louis gently, prodding him to look up at him. When Louis did, Harry gave him another smile, which Louis could only interpret as him saying that it was okay and that he had nothing to be upset over. _They were okay_.

If he only knew.

Louis surged forward, claiming Harry’s lips with his. It must have caught Harry by surprise because he was still for a moment or two before following through. He kissed Louis back fervently, like he was hungry for it the entire time they were apart, sliding his tongue into Louis’ mouth. And while Harry’s hands sought out to grab onto Louis’ bum, Louis pulled himself up, wrapping his legs around Harry’s waist until he got the message and picked Louis up off the floor.

It might not have been ideal to be snogging in the middle of the hallway at three in the morning, but it seemed the two of them didn’t care. Harry held Louis up with no intention of breaking the kiss whatsoever. It wasn’t until someone actually walked up the stairs in their drunken stupor and moved past them to get to their flat that Louis drew back, panting heavily with his head spinning.

“Let’s go inside,” Harry said to Louis, giving him a soft peck on his left cheek. Louis nodded, half expecting Harry to put him down, but he didn’t. Harry carried him inside, locking the door behind him and leading Louis into his bedroom.

The clock read 3:19 AM and everything felt almost _too quiet_. That had never been a bad thing because over the past few months, Harry and Louis’d come to appreciate the quiet that came after midnight. Silence never bothered them, which was why they enjoyed coffee late at night or driving to random places when the sky was dark and there wasn’t a single soul on the street. However, right now, it almost felt suffocating to Louis. He felt antsy and so out of his skin that he didn’t know what to do with himself. Everything was making him feel on edge and everything that had happened in the past twenty four hours kept coming back to him in flashes.

Harry closed the door behind him quietly so as to not wake up El. He had toed off his shoes by the door, managing to get his socks off as well while carrying Louis and padded over to the bed and set him down gently. Louis couldn’t tear his eyes off Harry, wondering if anything had changed because it felt like it did. Looking at Harry, though, he looked the same. His curls were a bit springier, Louis assumed because he took a shower right before he came. Harry was wearing his faded black Ramones shirt that he liked to wear to bed over joggers and everything looked the same. Since yesterday, though, it felt like it wasn’t. It felt like so much was different and Louis knew _why_ , but he didn’t want to pinpoint it.

Louis didn’t want to think about it at all even though it was all that was on his mind.

“We need to talk, yeah?” Harry asked, settling down on the bed beside Louis, pulling his own feet up.

Louis slowly nodded his head again, still unable to properly say something to him. Harry noticed, Louis could tell with the curious way he was looking at him, but didn’t say anything about it. Instead, he laced his fingers with Louis’, pulling him closer until he was practically sitting on Harry’s lap. The close proximity was calming, but it only made Louis sadder because up close Harry’s expression was soft and open and honest, something Louis felt he wasn’t anymore.

“You’re okay, right?” Harry asked, his eyes searching Louis’ as he tangled his fingers with Louis’ other hand. “You look tired.”

Louis let out a shaky laugh before finally saying something. “A little bit, yeah. Haven’t slept much and I’m also hungover.”

“You went out?”

“Yeah,” he replied, his voice quiet. “Dylan’s sorority had a day drinking event and she and El told me to come to get my mind off of things.”

“I’m glad you went,” Harry said with a small smile before fixing it to one more serious. “I’m so sorry about everything that went down since yesterday. I have no idea how it escalated like that. We could have worked it out sooner, but we kept missing each other. Regardless, I want to tell you that I thought a lot about it and I’ll -- I won’t talk to Stella anymore.”

“You won’t?” Louis asked him, surprised by his sudden change of mind.

Harry shook his head, looking Louis right in the eyes. “What’s the point if it’s upsetting you? I mean, I still sort of stand by what I said. I can avoid her, but on the off chance she approaches me, I have to be civil and try to hopefully get out of the conversation as best as I can. Will be hard though considering she’s in my classes and comes to our parties, but I’ll do my best.” He laughed, running his hands through Louis’ messy fringe. “I just don’t want you to be upset. I’m so sorry I walked out on you and then got embarrassingly drunk. It just hurt what you said.”

“Harry, I’m so sorry I said that,” Louis quickly interjected, remembering his words that drove Harry out his door. “It completely came out the wrong way. What you did before we got together should hardly matter at this point, but I just -- I didn’t want to admit how insecure and jealous I’ve always been about the people you’ve been with. It’s always bothered me though I didn’t want to admit it...even when we weren’t together.”

Harry’s expression softened at Louis’ honest admission. It felt oddly relieving to admit where Louis was wrong and that he was insecure, which was what led him to get so frustrated and upset about the whole situation. If only this was how they’d handled it the night before rather than getting angry at each other and letting it spin out of control.

“You don’t have any reason to be jealous or insecure,” Harry said. “I wish I could have told you that sooner. I wanted to -- I waited outside your door for hours. People probably thought I was homeless.”

“I was at Taylor’s,” Louis told him. “When you left, I didn’t want to be alone, so I went to see her. Ed was the one that told us you were at the bar.”

Harry flushed at that. “Yeah,” he answered meekly. “I don’t know. I was mad and just thought fuck it and went to the bar. I was miserable, though. Babbled on about you for hours to everyone there.”

“Only good things I hope,” Louis teased, giving him a small, shy smile.

“Always, Lou.”

Louis smiled a little wider while Harry played with the skin on his arms, stroking over it as though he wanted to touch Louis just because he could, just because he wanted to. It made Louis feel better knowing that he was on Harry’s mind last night despite everything, but he was also still wondering if Stella was at the bar, too, like she said she was. Did they see each other? Did they talk -- do more than talk? Harry said he wouldn’t anymore, but Louis had to bring it up anyway if they were on the topic. Louis had to know.

“Harry, I’ve got to ask you something.” Harry looked at Louis, humming in response. He suddenly felt a little nervous because he still wasn’t sure of the answer. It was what drove him near hysterical this morning and Louis knew it was better to ask than let it fester inside of him even more like everything else. It was just -- what if Harry said yes? What if he had cheated? Louis wouldn’t know unless he asked, but fuck this was scary. Louis braved a look and met Harry’s eyes. “Yesterday, I got your messages and went to your lectures to see you. You weren’t there, obviously, but I heard Stella telling her friend she fucked you.”

Utter silence took over the room and Louis’ heart almost stopped because Harry wasn’t saying anything. He was so close, but Louis couldn’t read his expression. That scared him because did that mean it was true? Was he upset he got caught? What was going through his head? Louis let out a strangled breath and said, “Harry, what -- did you?”

Harry let out a soft sigh, lowering his gaze and running a hand through his curly, brown hair. “Okay, I don’t know why she’s going around saying that _now_ when it happened months ago. Before you and I ever did anything together. Plus, we didn’t even fuck, she went down on me -- and yeah.”

“So, you hooked up months ago, not recently?”

Harry frowned softly while shaking his head. “Is that what you thought? That it happened last night?”

Louis shrugged, not able to meet his eyes anymore. “I didn’t think that, per se, but she was saying she was at the bar last night and then this morning she was saying you two fucked or whatever. I just wasn’t sure when or whether or not it was even true. Really messed me up for a little.” He let out a humorless, nervous laugh and Harry placed his hand on Louis’ back, pulling him closer until he could kiss him. It was short and fleeting, like he just needed to do it before replying back.

When Harry drew back, he pressed their foreheads together, staring at Louis with intense ferocity. “I wouldn’t ever cheat on you, Louis, especially not because we’d had a stupid fight. I’m a little upset you’d think I would, but I get why you thought that, I suppose. I just -- I’m going to say it again, okay? There is no reason for you to be jealous or insecure because _you’re my boy_. There’s literally no one else. It’s just you and it’s going to stay that way, Lou. Just you, everyday.”

Tears started to fill Louis’ eyes without him even being able to stop himself like he usually did. He was always able to hold himself back, however this time he barely even tried. When he had gotten home from the day drinking event earlier, Louis had sat in his shower for an hour, sobbing and crying more than he had in years. It felt never ending, but even after he stopped, he still had a deep weight in his chest, which people usually said got better after you’d had a good cry. Except it didn’t go away, but only felt deeper.

Louis felt numbed out and restless all at once, like he wasn’t himself anymore. What he did today wasn’t something he’d ever do. It was out of character because he’d never cheat on someone and he’d hate to be on the receiving end of it as well. Louis had thought that maybe Harry cheated on him. Wasn’t that what drove him to kiss Dean back? That if Harry could do it, then why couldn’t he? It was sick and twisted. Louis felt more than guilty, like he didn’t deserve to be in Harry’s arms or this close to him. It was twisting and turning in his stomach, but he couldn’t say it. Of course, he couldn’t.

When Louis thought back to those moments with Dean, he almost tried to convince himself that it wasn’t him doing those things. It wasn’t him at all. And all he could do was cry at Harry’s words because it was Harry for him everyday, too. For Louis, it had always been Harry. It was Harry now and it would be tomorrow because he was so unbelievably in love with him. Harry always used to tell Louis that he was looking for _the one_ and Louis wanted to be that because Harry was Louis’ _one_. Louis knew deep inside that nobody else could make him feel the way Harry did. Nobody could connect with him on that level and the thought made him feel both safe and terrified. It felt like they were made for each other and for anything to jeopardize or threaten what they had was something he wasn't sure he could ever accept.

And to think, Harry still didn’t know how deeply Louis felt for him. Louis was sure Harry had an idea because it wasn’t like Louis ever held back his love for him. Louis didn’t have to say it -- just being with him and showing him was probably proof enough. The fact that Harry loved him too should be a form of encouragement, but after what had happened, Louis wasn’t so sure. Would he still love Louis if he knew -- _if_ he ever knew? _God_ , Louis wished Harry never had to know, even if that was such an awful secret to keep.

This wasn’t supposed to happen -- none of it was supposed to happen. Louis was never supposed to cheat on Harry and they were never supposed to be fighting nor going down like this. They were supposed to be good and right for each other and Louis still believed they were, but not like this. It almost felt unreal, like he still couldn’t come to terms with what he’d done.

Harry silently wiped Louis’ tears with his thumb before wrapping his arms around Louis to pull him into a hug. Louis clutched onto Harry’s t-shirt, hiding his face against his chest as the tears leaked out. “I’m so sorry,” Harry whispered quietly, rubbing Louis’ back. “I never wanted you to cry...I love you so much. You're breaking my heart, Lou.”

Louis sniffled, probably staining Harry’s shirt. “I’m sorry, too,” Louis whispered back, wondering if Harry knew just how much Louis had to be sorry for.

+++

Over the next few days, Louis clung to Harry like velcro. They spent every night together, even if they weren’t having sex or doing anything special, which weirdly wasn’t something they normally did. Harry and Louis would spend nights apart before due to school and other priorities and it wasn’t a big deal. They met up everyday as it was and did their own thing. Now, though, Louis didn’t want to let Harry out of his sight. Harry didn’t question it, thankfully, agreeing to do whatever Louis wanted. Louis figured Harry thought it was Louis’ way of dealing with the aftermath of their fight. They ate most of their meals together, did revision together, went to the gym together despite the fact that Louis didn’t work out a lot, and even ran errands together, like picking up groceries.

Part of Louis knew it was ridiculous and clingy and probably annoying, but another part of him knew he just _needed_ to hold onto Harry. For some reason, it felt like the tighter he held on to Harry, the less likely it was for him to find out and leave Louis, as though this was viable prevention from the truth coming out. Louis’ efforts were weak and a little crazy, but all he wanted was to have Harry close and fill up that gap in his chest that had been widening since that day with Dean.

Sometimes, Louis did wonder how much the fact that he was keeping this from Harry was going to eat him away inside because as the days progressed, he started to realize that no matter how much he didn’t talk about it, it didn’t mean that it didn’t happen. It _had_ happened and Louis avoiding telling Harry wouldn’t suddenly make it vanish. He was always going to have to hold this with him and it felt like it tainted everything Louis was and everything Harry and he were. And Louis worried that it would just explode out of him one day. It wasn’t unlikely because as much as Louis could put it off, he knew it was a time bomb quietly ticking and getting closer to blowing everyday.

   

+++

 

Harry placed two twenty pound notes in the checkbook before getting up from his chair, backing it up and stretching his arms behind his head. Louis grabbed his phone off the table, tucking it into his back pocket before following Harry, physically trying to pry his eyes off the sliver of skin that exposed when Harry stretched. Louis could see his small, thin happy trail right below his navel from here and it was getting him more hot and bothered than he’d care to admit because this was _hardly the time._

It was a Saturday afternoon and they’d just had lunch at a cafe nearby campus. It had only just opened and Harry had come here a few times already, dragging Louis with him to have the buffalo chicken wrap with ranch sauce. It sounded ghastly, but tasted to die for. Harry was usually a stickler for healthy food, but not when it came to this.

By the time they got to the exit, Harry came around to Louis’ side, putting his arm around Louis’ shoulder and leading him out towards the lot to go to the car. “You know what I’m thinking of?” he asked, his eyes hidden behind his aviators.

“What’s that?” Louis asked him, wrapping an arm around Harry’s waist, fingers seeking purchase on his red and black flannel.

“Do you think that when we decide to have kids they’ll have blue eyes or green or a mix?” he asked, like it was just something super casual they discussed all the time, which with Harry, they often did. Nothing got him going like domestic talk. It was rather endearing, but also really strange.

“Maybe,” Louis replied. “It depends on the genes.”

“We’ve all got green eyes on my side,” Harry responded as they got to his car. “And going by your family’s pictures your family has blue eyes.”

Louis shrugged. “Whatever they get will be great, but I hope that when we do have babies they have dimples. I want them to look exactly like you, actually. Really cute, but in a weird way -- kinda like frogs.”

Harry frowned at Louis, unlocking his car and opening the passenger door for him. “Heeey,” he drawled out with an affronted tone. “That’s a really messed up thing to say about our future kids.”

Louis laughed, feeling light and happy from this banter, but maybe also from the way Harry had Louis backed up against the car with one hand on the top of the car and the other holding the door open, making it so that he was trapping Louis with no way of escaping. Louis found he didn’t mind it much, anyway. “You’re right, I’m sorry. They’re all obviously going to take after me.”

He was joking, of course, because Louis did want their babies to look like Harry, but Harry didn’t seem to refute what Louis said, instead smiling and closing the distance between them, pressing his front against Louis’. “Hmm,” he hummed thoughtfully, his hot breath fanning over Louis’ lips. “I think I quite like that idea of that -- having gorgeous babies that look like you.”

“Oh, of course you would,” Louis said, rolling his eyes, trying to fight off the blush on his cheeks.

“We can split them and have half of them looking like you and the other half looking like me. And then one that looks like the both of us.”

“Yeah, but it’s not up to us. It’s all genetics,” Louis said, laughing again. “But we’ll keep trying until it works out. I believe in us.”

Harry laughed brightly, finally kissing Louis sweetly. It was inappropriate and clearly not the place, but they snogged for a few minutes against his car before finally getting in and driving back to campus. When Harry parked in front of the frat house, Louis frowned with a confused expression.

“I didn’t know we were coming here,” Louis said slowly.

“Do you mind?” Harry asked. “Just thought I’d drop by. I’ve got a few books I’ll need from here, anyway.”

Louis gulped quietly, shaking his head. Harry smiled, unbuckling his belt and climbing out of the car. It took Louis a moment before he could do the same. The entire walk up to the front door felt like a constant battle in his head between whether or not Dean would be there. He lived only a few doors down from Harry’s room and Louis just didn’t feel comfortable being here. They hadn’t really come down to the frat since everything happened and for good reason. Louis wasn’t ready to face Dean or what had happened yet, surely not with Harry in tow.

Dean had texted him a few times since the incident, asking to talk and even once professing that he still had feelings for Louis. Louis had no idea if Dean knew that Harry hadn’t cheated on Louis or that they weren’t broken up. It could potentially be a really big mess considering they were in the same frat, which was why Louis didn’t know what to say, so he kept ignoring him. He deleted his thread of messages every time Dean texted him hoping that if he didn’t acknowledge him, it would just all stop being real.

Walking through that front door of the frat house and Dean being one of the first things Louis saw proved him wrong -- that it was in fact real. Memories of that day came back to Louis right away when he saw Dean standing there. He remembered the way Dean sat with him and spoke to him, so nice and sincere. He remembered the way Dean kissed him and how unfamiliar and wrong he tasted, the way they stumbled into the house and how Dean had been inside of him, though brief and quick. It hurt. That was all Louis remembered. It didn’t just hurt because he wasn’t ready and it was dry, but also because everything about it was so wrong, that just the thought of it seemed terrible.

A chorus of hello’s and hi’s greeted Harry and Louis. Harry’s hand was tightly entwined with Louis’ as he pulled him into the living room where a group of guys were sat around. Ed, Liam, Zayn and Niall were there, immediately pulling Harry into some conversation while Louis stood there too paranoid to actually join in. Louis didn’t miss the way Dean looked at him from across the room. Louis’ heart was thumping in his chest rapidly, looking anywhere but at Dean before he finally braved a look out of curiosity.

Dean looked hurt. He looked downright hurt and confused and also a little angry. Louis quickly looked away, breaking their gaze and shifting closer to Harry, hoping it sent a message. That Louis wanted nothing to do with him and that what had happened was a mistake.

When Louis felt like he couldn’t stand there any longer with Dean pinning him down with his stare, he tugged on Harry’s hand, making him turn to look at him. Harry knew right away that Louis was ready to go upstairs and that he didn’t feel like being there, so he finished up his conversation with the boys. They said bye and started to head upstairs when someone called out, “Hey, Harry.”

Harry stopped at the middle of the stairs with Louis behind him, turning to look towards the voice. Dean ran over to him, a sort of wicked smile on his face. “How long you around, mate?” he asked.

“Umm, not sure,” Harry responded. “Why? What’s up?”

“Need to have a word with you. Not that important, though. Lemme know when you’re free.”

“Will do,” Harry replied. He continued to walk up the stairs, pulling Louis behind him, despite the fact that Louis could feel the ground dropping beneath him as he once again locked eyes with Dean. Louis didn’t know what he’d want to talk to Harry about now all of a sudden, but he had an idea or two. He quickly turned away from Dean, blanching at the possibility of Dean outing the two of them to Harry.

No, no, _no_.

That could not happen. At first Louis’d been so swept up in the war between telling Harry himself and not telling him at all, that it stupidly didn’t occur to him that Dean might end up telling Harry. He didn’t think of Dean to be that cruel, but why wouldn’t he be? While it wasn’t right what he did, a part of Louis was to blame, as well. Louis led him on when Dean liked him the time they first met. Louis didn’t tell him that he didn’t really feel the same until so much later and then got with one of his frat brothers. That didn’t usually roll around here unless there was a mutual understanding, which Louis doubted was the case between Harry and Dean because he was sure they’d never spoken about it. On top of all that, Louis couldn’t deny that he had kissed Dean back that day before running away.

To a degree, Louis knew Dean took advantage of him, but he hadn’t forced himself onto Louis. He shouldn’t have done what he did when Louis was in such a fragile and hysterical state -- he shouldn’t have done it at all -- but Louis had given him some permission. He let Dean kiss him, he let him pull Louis into the house and into the bathroom. Louis didn’t even stop him from pulling his pants down -- all because of a fucking fight with Harry that went awry because they kept missing each other and fate kept pulling twists and turns on them. Nothing about this was fair to any of them and Louis could feel it weighing him impossibly down.

It would be terrible and so wrong if Harry found out through Dean. Who knew what he’d say to Harry regarding what had happened? Louis could tell that Dean was angry with him now and Dean could easily twist the truth. Whether Harry would believe him or not depended upon how much he trusted Louis, which Louis knew he did. Then again, Louis trusted Harry, too, but still had a hard time doing so after he heard Stella mention that they hooked up. It might go both ways, but Louis still didn’t want Dean or anyone else for that matter telling Harry. If he had to know, it had to come from Louis.  

By the time Harry and Louis were in Harry’s room with the door locked behind them, Louis felt himself crumbling. He could feel the walls caving in on him like he was being drowned despite not being underwater. Harry hadn’t noticed, instead walking further into the room, going straight to his desk where he shuffled with some papers on the desk, picking a few up and turning around to look at Louis. He looked as though he was about to say something, but abruptly stopped when he saw Louis’ expression.

Harry frowned and walked over to Louis quickly. “Louis,” he said. “What’s wrong, babe? You look poorly. You feeling alright?” Louis shook his head in response, his resolve breaking and his face crumpling. Harry looked almost alarmed at that, his arms coming around Louis’ body to hold him. “Fuck. You’re shaking. What’s wrong? Say something...you’re scaring the shit out of me.”

Louis shook his head again, unable to find the words to even say. It all came down to Harry knowing it from Louis and not Dean. It was better this way. Louis was doing the right thing no matter how much it was killing him. He closed his eyes tightly for a moment before opening them up again, tears rolling down his cheeks. Harry stared at him, wide eyed and so confused, watching as Louis breathed out shakily.

“I have something to tell you,” Louis said to him, his voice small, but suddenly too loud in that room.

“Yeah,” Harry urged. “What is it? Are you okay?”

Louis shook his head once more, letting more tears fall. His eyes were starting to burn and he knew that meant his face was probably getting blotchy and his eyes were turning red. The funny part was, he hadn’t even told Harry yet, but he was already falling apart because _Louis knew_. He knew this wasn’t going to end well and he was dreading how this was going to change everything. Louis couldn’t help but look into Harry’s concerned green eyes for one last time, a moment longer than necessary before speaking, taking in the love and adoration he saw there because he wasn’t sure it would be there anymore after what he was about to say.

“That day after our fight when I was at the day drinking event I got really _really_ drunk and I was upset -- about -- I guess, everything. You leaving and me not getting to you on time and hearing what Stella said. I was upset and I did something I shouldn’t have.”

Harry nodded his head understandingly, drawing back at arm's length to look at Louis carefully. “What?” he asked. “What did you do?”

Louis choked on a sob, taking another deep breath. “Dean was there. He -- uh, he spoke to me for a bit and I was talking about you.”

Harry stilled for a moment and Louis wondered if he knew -- if he knew what Louis was about to say...what he did. Harry’s eyes were wide and searching, trying to understand, but it was so hard to just come out and say it even if Louis had built up the courage to do it before Harry heard it from someone else. He was shaking all over for Christ’s sake, trying not to psych himself out. He was wrong and he was stupid. He could accept that. A part of him hoped that Harry could, too.

“He kissed me,” Louis finally breathed out. “He kissed me and I’d stopped him at first, but then he -- he said something and I kissed him back.”

Harry’s eyes narrowed at that, his grip on Louis slightly loosening as what he’d said and done sunk in. He was frowning now, a mixture of disbelief and confusion on his face as he looked back at Louis. “What did he say to you?” Harry asked, his tone unrecognizable.

“I’d told him that you might have cheated on me and when he kissed me he said that if you could then why couldn’t I.”

“What the fuck?” Harry breathed out, backing away from Louis completely. “What kind of twisted logic is that? _I didn’t cheat on you._ ”

“I know,” Louis quickly cried, wiping at his eyes, even though it was fruitless with the way the tears wouldn’t stop. “I know that now, Harry, and a part of me knew that back then that day, too.”

“Then why did you kiss him back?” Harry asked, his voice a touch louder than before. He was angry and had every right to be.

“I made a mistake,” he whispered brokenly. “I’m so fucking sorry, Harry. I made the biggest mistake of my life. I was _drunk._ You can ask El and Dylan -- I couldn’t even stand. I was so upset and confused and I couldn’t get in touch with you--.”

“You should have come to my flat, then. You didn’t have to go there!”

“I didn’t know what to think,” Louis said, desperately. “I swear, I just.” He let out another deep breath, feeling like it was getting harder and harder to do so. “That day was so horrible, Harry. I felt like everything was going wrong. I didn’t know how to face you and I went there to think and get away. Not with the intention of seeing Dean, though. You know I don’t feel anything for him. You’ve known all along, so it’s not what it sounds like.”

“I did, yeah,” Harry nodded, quiet and a little shaky. “I just -- I don’t know what to think. You just kissed him a little, yeah? That was it? You could have told me that day...I get you were drunk. I believe you. It’s just a lot to take in.”

This was probably where Harry was going to lose it and hate Louis forever when he found out the rest of the truth. Louis could feel it hanging in the air because Harry was close to it now that he’d found out about the kissing. Harry was being understanding, though, always so understanding and lovely. Louis felt like the world’s biggest fool for doing what he did.

Harry noted Louis’ silence, Louis’ eyes slightly twitching and nervous demeanor. He let out a shaky breath as he walked a bit closer. “Louis...,” he said quietly. “That’s it, right?”

Louis shook his head slowly, biting his lip as more tears spilled from his eyes. Harry gritted his teeth, his hands finally letting go of the papers as they flew up in the air between them. “You fucked him?” Harry breathed out, his voice deep and gravelly while his jaw was tense and set. Louis let out a choked sob and that was what set Harry off. He looked absolutely _livid._ Harry’s fists were clenched and his eyes were narrowed down into tiny slits, glaring so hard that Louis could barely see them.

“Harry,” he rushed out. “It wasn’t like that. I stopped him right away. It was only for a second.”

“ _You fucking cheated on me_ and you expect me to stand here and listen to you fucking tell me the logistics and details of how long you did it? As if that makes anything about this okay?” Harry yelled, his voice echoing in the room. “What the fuck is wrong with you? I can’t -- I can’t believe you of all people would do this to me.”

“Harry, no,” Louis shook his head, pleadingly. “I didn’t. I didn’t actually have sex with him. It wasn’t what you’re thinking. Can we -- I don’t know.”

“You just said _you fucked him_ and now you’re saying you didn’t have sex with him? Which one is it because they’re the same thing, Louis.”

“Almost fucked him,” Louis choked out, voice raspy and thick with tears. “He was going to prep me and I stopped him. It hurt and I stopped him, I swear.”

“How can you possibly expect me to believe anything you’re fucking saying right now?” Harry yelled. “How do you possibly expect that from me?”

“Because I’m telling you the truth,” he cried. “I swear I’m telling you the truth. I knew Dean would tell you and I wanted to be the one to tell you, instead.”

“So, you’re only telling me because you got scared just now that Dean was going to rat you out?” Harry snarled. “Is that it? You got scared and thought you’d do it? If he wasn’t ever going to, would you have always hid this from me?”

“I -- I d -- I don’t know,” Louis stammered. “I didn’t want to, but I was scared. I was scared of losing you, Harry.”

“That’s fucking bullshit!” Harry screamed. “You wouldn’t be scared if you didn’t do anything wrong, so you admit that.”

“Of course I do,” Louis shouted over his voice. “I know I fucked up and I’m owning up to it.”

“What’s with all these bogus excuses then? _You didn’t do it. You stopped him._ Be upfront with me and tell me the fucking truth because I deserve it!”

“That’s the truth! I’m telling you the truth right now, I swear.”

“A bit hard to believe you now, innit?” he asked with an ugly laugh. “Cheated on me and then tried to hide it from me, didn’t you? How can I expect the truth from you now then?”

“I’m owning up to it right now, Harry. I fucked up and I’m so fucking sorry. You have no idea.”

“I have no idea? Do you know how I’m feeling right now?” he asked, his voice cracking at the end. Harry looked near hysterical at this point. He was pacing the room, shouting at Louis so loudly from across the room like he couldn’t bear to be near him anymore. This all shouldn't be surprising. Louis knew he’d react badly, but knowing it and then living it were two different things. “I can’t -- I can’t fucking believe this right now. I told you that I lo -- _fuck_!”

Louis let out another shudder, rubbing his hands over his face and running his fingers through his hair before looking back at Harry again. His entire head was throbbing from how much he’d been crying, but nothing could compare to the pain in his chest. He felt like every part of him was tearing apart. “Dean means nothing to me. I don’t have any feelings for him. I meant what I said, I was drunk and upset and he said some things and initiated it, but I’m telling you that it didn’t go far.”

“He was about to fuck you. He was prepping --,” Harry bellowed before stopping himself, his hand coming in hard, sharp contact with the edge of one of the bookshelves in the room, causing it to totter a bit before dropping a few books, trophies, medals and other small things on to the ground loudly. Louis visibly shook, startled by the sound and let out a small whimper. Harry didn’t give any indication of caring, instead glaring at Louis with utter fury in his eyes. “He was going to fuck you and that _counts_.”

“It didn’t lead to anything. It stopped right there. _Please_ believe me.”

“Why the fuck would I believe you?”

“Because I love you,” Louis shouted. “ _I fucking love you_ \-- you don’t know, you have no fucking idea how much, Harry -- just -- I love you. I fucking love you and _I am so sorry_.”

Love and sorry. They felt like such useless words right then, but Louis still couldn’t help but say them. He’d wanted his first time telling Harry to be special. That opportunity had unfortunately never come. He kept putting it off, waiting for the right moment, but then the fight happened. Following the fight, even after they made up, Louis was constantly buried with so much guilt that he couldn’t even utter it. And now, in the middle of a heated fight where Harry was mad to the point of breaking down the entire fucking house, Louis said it.

Useless words, yeah, but filled with depth and desperation and honesty.

Harry froze for a moment, something other than anger washing over his expression. Louis couldn’t pinpoint it, but it was soft and torn down, but also guarded. Harry looked like he was on the edge of breaking and it was so startling because Louis’d never seen Harry this way. He was always calm, cool and collected. Given the circumstances, Louis didn’t blame him. It was a bit surprising, though, to see the way Harry visibly stilled at Louis’ words as though he was trying to decide whether or not he could trust him because, Louis realized, that wasn’t something he felt he could do anymore.

Louis was shocked to see when Harry finally let out a humorless, dry laugh. “Didn’t peg you for the type to lie even in desperate times. Then again, don’t really feel like I know you at all at the moment.”

“Don’t say that,” Louis whispered. “You know me, H. You’ve known me for months -- better than most people in my life. You know I wouldn’t lie to you about this or anything. I’ve been in love with you for so long.”

“And you chose now to say it?” he asked, a humorless smirk on his lips. “I wanted to hear you say it so bad and you do it now -- right after dropping the fact that you cheated on me? Amazing. That’s -- that’s something right there.”

“I didn’t want to say it now. I was waiting for the right time and everything kept fucking up.”

“Everything was fucking up because you couldn’t be honest with me from the start,” he said, voice rising again as he spat the words out at Louis. “You couldn’t tell me how you felt about me being with other people and you let it build up till you exploded and then you go and fucking cheat on me. Everything fucked up because of _you._ ”

“Is the fact that I’m owning up to it not telling you that I’m aware? I’m telling you that that day was one of my worst! I was so fucking unbelievably hurt and confused after our fight and everything kept going wrong. I didn’t tell Dean to come up to me when I was piss drunk. I didn’t tell him to sit close to me and take advantage of the state I was in. I don’t even remember telling him that I wanted anything from him. He kissed me and all I did was kiss him back and he took me inside. I stopped him. I promise you I stopped him.”

Harry’s jaw tensed up further and further as Louis spoke, his eyes and expression wild and livid again, like the anger was all rushing back to him. He was gripping on to the part of the bookcase that he’d pushed while his other fist was clenched hard. When he didn’t respond, Louis let out another desperate whimper.

“Harry, _please_ ,” Louis begged him.

“I’m going to fucking kill him.”

Louis’ eyes widened momentarily, only catching on once Harry pushed past him, unlocking the door and storming out of there. Louis swore under his breath and quickly ran after Harry, but not soon enough because he was already halfway down the stairs. By the time Louis got down there, Harry had already charged up to an unexpecting Dean, grabbing him by the shoulder to turn him around. In an instant, Harry’s fist lined up squarely with Dean’s jaw, causing him to stumble backward to the ground.

“ _Harry_!” Louis screamed, not really sure what he was asking him to do.

Everyone in the house ran over, crowding around them curiously as Harry ignored Louis and grabbed Dean once again by the shoulder and quickly slammed his right fist into Dean’s stomach. Ed, Liam, Zayn and Niall, who had quickly ran over, looked more concerned than curious. They all looked over at Louis and he could only wonder what went through their heads at the sight of him because he looked crazy. He had been crying uncontrollably for a while with his nose running and face blotchy and red that none of it probably made any sense to them. They most likely knew Harry and Louis were fighting because they were loud upstairs, but they probably didn’t know Dean was involved.

When Louis turned back to Harry and Dean, he saw that Dean had swiftly stood up and was actually fighting back now, trying to defend himself despite the slowly bruising jaw and weak efforts from being attacked without a warning. Harry looked relentless, though, as if he was pouring all of his anger and frustration and hurt out into this. He was throwing punch after punch, not even caring where he swung, which was incredibly dangerous.

“Fuck you,” Harry kept shouting. “How fucking dare you touch him? _I’ll fucking kill you_. You fucking piece of shit. _Fuck you_.”

The two of them ended up wrestling on the ground, pulling at each other’s shirts and hitting whatever they could reach. It was only when Dean threw a hit straight at Harry’s face, perfectly getting his eye, that Louis let out an involuntary scream. That was when Liam and Ed grabbed onto Harry, pulling him back by his arms despite his best efforts at kicking Dean wherever he could reach while two other boys grabbed onto Dean.

“What the fuck is going on?” Niall asked with a shout. “Why are you fighting?”

For a moment, Dean looked over at Harry before looking at Louis while Harry stared at Dean with utter hatred and disgust in his eyes. Louis felt out of place standing there in the middle of a brawl at a frat house despite the fact that he was the one that caused it. He wanted to disappear into thin air, get as far away from all this as he could, but it was never that simple or easy.

It seemed that Harry noticed Dean looking at Louis and tried to rip himself away from Ed and Liam’s tight hold to hit him again. “Don’t fucking look at him,” Harry gritted at him. “I swear I’ll fucking rip your eyes out. Don’t you dare fucking look at him.”

“Harry,” Niall warned sharply, shooting Louis a quick, questioning look before stepping in front of him. “What’s this about? Dean is your frat brother --.”

“Fuck that!” Harry yelled. “Fuck it. He’s a fucking piece of shit. I’ll fucking kill him. Fucking prick.”

“ _Harry_ ,” Niall shouted again, putting his hands on Harry again to calm him down. “What’s this about?”

“He’s pissed because Louis and I hooked up,” Dean spat out as he pushed off the two guys that were holding on to him to stand on his own. “A week ago at the day drinking event at Phi Sig.”

Deafening silence took over the entire room and Louis’d never felt smaller than he did right then with all the eyes in the room trained on him. It wasn’t just guilt running through him, but shame and humiliation, too, at having this outed for everyone to know.

Louis tried to hold himself together as best as he could despite all that with his chin held high and his eyes on everyone’s level. It was just hard because he felt like he’d been thrown and kicked down for making a drunken mistake. Louis knew what he did was wrong and stupid, but he didn’t want to be shamed for that in front of an entire frat house. He tried his best, scrunching up his face in an effort to not cry, but evidently failed and then Harry somehow wrenched himself free from Ed and Liam, pushing Dean back until his back hit the wall. Harry grabbed Dean by the collar of shirt, lifting him up off the ground and pinning him against the wall with his teeth gritted before punching him right on the nose. Immediately, blood started spilling out, oozing down his face and they were at it again.

The injuries ran deeper this time, but mostly on Dean’s end. Harry launched hit after hit, unforgiving and terrifyingly adamant about not sparing Dean. They were knocking down chairs and pushing things out of place. After much difficulty, Liam, Ed and Zayn combined, pulled Harry back and the look on his face absolutely broke Louis. Harry’s face was flushed, the buttons on his shirt ripped open to reveal his heaving chest. There were bruises and scratches littered all over his skin. However, what made it all worse was that the bruised eye on his face didn’t do much to hide the fact that he was tearing up.

Harry looked beyond frustrated and so conflicted, running fidgety hands through his hair and pulling at it. The others had dragged Dean away from the room, leaving Louis alone with Liam, Niall, Ed, Zayn and Harry. The boys were surrounding Harry like a shield as he slumped down against the wall, whispering things to him to get him to relax while Louis stood in the background, not sure of what to do.

Harry let go of his hair, letting it stand in several directions before looking up at Louis with a tear rolling down his cheek. He rubbed it away roughly and it immediately made Louis move closer to him, but then Harry said, “Stop.”

Louis stopped in his tracks, the other boys looking between the two as they stared at each other. Harry’s eyes looked nothing but cold and distant, it didn’t even feel like Louis was looking at him anymore, but someone else entirely.

“Leave,” Harry said to Louis, voice steady. “I want you to leave right now.”

“Harry--.”

“ _Fucking go_!” Harry shouted, so loud that even Niall jumped back in surprise.

Louis immediately turned around, walking out as fast as his feet could take him, not sparing one more look at anyone else. Tears leaked from his eyes in steady rolls as he made his way home, feeling like this wasn’t any different from what had happened a week ago.

That same night, Louis remembered crying in Harry’s arms while Harry told him that it was breaking his heart to see Louis like that. Harry didn’t know that Louis’ heart was broken as well. Walking home this time around after what had just happened, he felt similar, but they didn’t just break each other’s hearts this time -- they fucking shattered them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ah, so harry knows and things are not looking too good for them :( next update will be sunday tho!  
>   
> [tumblr](http://softasurcheek.tumblr.com/) / [fic page](http://softasurcheek.tumblr.com/yail) / [chapter post](http://softasurcheek.tumblr.com/post/140412216175/fic-you-are-in-love-author-wildestdreams)


	23. the one where louis cracks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'd like to say a big thanks to everyone that has been reading and that has reached out with nothing but kind words in regards to this story. you have no idea how nice you all are and how much that means to me. i'm glad you're liking the story and i hope you like it as it carries on! nothing major to warn about in this one.  
>   
> thank you to [mac](http://realitybetterthanfiction.tumblr.com/) for editing this. i hope you are enjoying your weekend :)

It seemed like everyone around Louis was walking on eggshells, like he was suddenly too delicate and fragile. Not that he saw many people or ventured out of his room much beyond going to class, even though he ended up missing a day or two, anyway, simply because he could hardly get out of bed. He would have missed more since the idea of doing any sort of work after what happened seemed daunting and pointless, but he realized that wasn’t a wise decision when finals were within a week or so. Timing was not his friend at the moment -- hadn’t been for a while.

It was mostly just El that he spoke to, but she felt helpless because she couldn’t do much other than sit and talk to Louis about it, which he appreciated, but after a while he sort of wanted to be left alone. Regardless, El checked up on Louis everyday anyway, but it made sense since she lived with him and saw how depressed he was all the time. Taylor checked in on him a few times and he didn’t think she would considering she’d known Harry longer than she’d known Louis. He figured she’d be on Harry’s side. Not that there were sides to be chosen in this because Louis was always on Harry’s side and would continue to be.

The day it had all gone down, though, Louis wasn’t even sure how to explain everything that happened due to disbelief and without having a minor panic attack, so he had hoped that it would fall into its own when he saw El. However, when he had come home, he found the flat empty and was partly relieved and partly upset. Louis was sorely stuck between wanting to be comforted without having to properly talk about it yet and wanting to be left all alone to be consumed by his thoughts until it ate him away inside and he cracked.

El came home late that night, probably because she was at the library doing revision, and knocked on his bedroom door to find him lying in his bed with the lights off. She knew right away that something was off and asked Louis in that calm, loving voice hers what happened. Louis immediately started to cry, telling her in choked sobs and ragged breaths everything that had happened since his fight with Harry. El let him cry for hours, stroking her soft hands through his hair until he fell asleep with his head on her lap. When he woke up, he found her still there and she quickly changed and the two of them cuddled until it started to feel less like there wasn’t a lodge in Louis’ throat or a gap in his heart.

People always say that the best people in life were free. There was always giving, but you got a lot in return as well. Louis felt so incredibly lucky to have a best friend who understood him and didn’t judge things that he so badly felt shame for. Given the hectic time with El’s schedules, she still stuck around for Louis until he felt close to okay again. On top of that, when Louis asked to not talk about it anymore, she respected that, too. He just didn’t have anything else to say because every time he did, all it would do was bring about waves of guilt and remorse in him. Everything he had to say, he’d said already, and he started to feel like a broken record that was stuck on the same few words. _I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to, I was just upset, I know I’m to blame_ and _I love him so much._

And although they didn’t speak about it, Louis was constantly thinking about it. Every small corner and spot in his room reminded him of Harry and the time they spent in there. Everything Louis did, owned, saw, smelled and heard reminded him of Harry because Harry never left his mind. He somehow found a way to connect Harry to everything around him because Harry was so present in Louis’ life -- until now. That much he couldn't control nor could he ignore -- and he was okay with it.

What Louis wasn’t okay with was the silence. It had been four days since Harry and Louis had last seen each other and the truth about Dean came out. After Harry asked Louis to leave, he did just that, but for some reason, some naive, hopeful part of him was waiting for and wanting Harry to reach out after he’d cooled his head. But he didn’t. It was radio silence and the more Louis tried to pretend like Harry wasn’t ignoring him and that he just needed more time, the more he started to wonder what that meant for them. It was a thought Louis didn’t even want to touch upon because of what it could mean, because thinking about it made it so much more real and he didn’t feel ready.

Louis never felt ready for anything these days because it all seemed to be going in a direction that he could have never imagined.

+++

“How’ve you been feeling?” Barbara asked one afternoon. She had come over for El to tutor her again for some final exam.

Louis gave her a meek smile in response as he sipped his tea. “I’m okay. You?” he asked.

“Tired,” she sighed, slumping down in her seat at the dining table. “My professors have been loading on the final papers so it doesn't coincide with the finals and quite frankly, I don’t want to do them. I’m so bloody burned out and tired from this semester. It needs to end -- like yesterday.”

“Senioritis got to you, too?” El asked, tapping her highlighter on the table distractedly.

“Big time,” Barbara responded with an exaggerated pout. “What about you lot? Anything new?”

Louis shook his head slowly, not having much to offer since his days were pretty bleak, and watched as El and Barbara exchanged a look between themselves as though they were being discreet. Louis raised an eyebrow, giving them a knowing look, basically asking them to just come out and say it because they weren’t as conspicuous as they thought. El let out an exasperated cry at being caught and threw her hand up in the air. “We’re just worried, Louis. Do you blame us? We just want you to be okay.”

“Don’t blame you at all,” Louis replied back. “I just don’t know what to say because there hasn’t been much to talk about since Saturday. Harry’s not speaking to me -- so there’s that if you wanted to know.” He let out a hysterical laugh. “I don’t even know if that means we’re broken up or what.”

The moment he said it something seized in his chest, like ice clenching onto his heart, and he looked at the two of them with his expression crumpling. Thinking about it in the back of his mind subconsciously was one thing, but actually saying it was another. El and Barbara looked helpless, like they didn’t know what to say or do to actually help him. And that was the thing -- no one could do or say anything to save this. Not unless by some miracle Harry called Louis up now and told him it was fine, which he highly doubted at this rate. So, what did that mean? What did this _silence_ fucking mean?  

“Oh, Louis,” El said softly.

“Oh my god,” he whispered almost in disbelief as his own words echoed back to him over and over like a chant in his head. “Do you think we’re broken up? Do you think this is over?”

“We don’t know,” Barbara said. “He can’t break up with you without saying it to you -- it doesn’t work like that. This is more like in a fight, yeah? Don’t be disheartened.”

“Harry hasn’t spoken to me in _four days_ ,” Louis said to her.

“Give him time,” El insisted, with wide earnest eyes. “Harry just needs time. He’s probably at home in the same state as you and is just thinking. Give him as much time as he needs as long as that means you get him back.”

“I don’t want to wait anymore. I don’t know if I even _can._ I feel like everyday it just keeps building up and I can’t sit around and not know. I _need_ to know.”

“Do you think you’ll feel better by knowing?” Barbara asked him quietly while playing with her chipped nail varnish. “Knowing makes it more final, I think.”

“Probably not, no,” he shook his head after pausing to think for a moment. “It’s just hard. All I want is to turn back time and do _something_ different. Make sure I didn’t end up where I was or where I am right now. I just want Harry back.”

“He’s still yours, Louis,” El said. “Harry’s crazy about you.”

Louis laughed humorlessly, wiping at his eyes weakly when he felt himself tearing up. “Harry’s not crazy about me anymore. I was terrible to him -- he never deserved that.”

“You messed up once,” El countered. “You weren’t terrible to him before.”

“Yeah, I know I only messed up once, but it was a pretty big one.” Louis let out a sigh, running his hands through his hair. “I just want to know what Harry’s thinking about -- what he wants to do. I know he’s mad at me, but I wish he’d yell at me some more and get out with it, you know? The silent treatment is just driving me mad if anything. I almost want him to make me pay for what I did and then take me back, just to let me know that I won’t lose him. So I know where we stand.”

Barbara nodded understandingly. “I tried to speak to Niall about it to get an idea as to what’s happening on their end. The two of us went on a double date with Ed and Taylor, so I brought it up.”

“What did they say?” El asked curiously with a furrow in her brows.

“The boys got super defensive and guarded, like they didn’t want to talk about it. They were pissed to say the least.”

“That’s not surprising or new. I knew they were mad at me,” Louis said matter of factly. The two girls turned to him with confused frowns and he nodded his head in confirmation. “None of them have so much so reached out to me since I saw them that day. I’m pretty sure Harry told them what happened, or they got a gist of it when Dean outed us. So, I’m assuming they’re all pissed.”

“That’s so stupid, though,” El said, a frown cutting through her expression. “No one should be picking sides. I’m not, so why are they?”

“I don’t know,” he said with an exhausted and tired shrug. “It’s probably just that you know me better than they do. You know I wouldn’t do something like that on purpose or with intent. _They_ don’t know that -- they probably think I’m a cheating twat and scum for hurting their best mate. Like, _I get it_. I’d be mad at me, too.” El didn’t look convinced and still a bit annoyed, but didn’t push it further because she knew just as much as Louis did that this was a messy situation and that there wasn’t much to be done otherwise. “I mean if anything I feel guilty for being responsible for fucking things up between the group. The dynamic’s all ruined because of me.”

“Okay,” El said firmly speaking up. “I need you to stop putting all the blame on yourself. I get that you fucked up, _I_ told you that you did, but so did Harry to an extent. He’s got a bit of blame in here, too. He was hiding certain things, he walked out. And don’t even get me started on fucking Dean. He fucked up the most.”

“When I see that fucker, I’m going to kill him,” Barbara seethed. “Disgusting arse cock. Dirty little cunt. Mother fucking ugly monger.”

Someone had clearly been picking up insults from Niall.

“I started it, though,” Louis said to them grimly. “It just feels like it all sort of exploded on us -- like everything that could go wrong went wrong in that _one day_. And now I don’t know what to do. Am I meant to see Harry and reach out or do I wait?”

“Maybe you’ll see him at senior cookout,” El suggested. “Everyone’s going and it’s the day after tomorrow. Harry will have had plenty of time to cool off by then and I’m sure you can talk to him.”

Louis sat down on a chair and drew his knees up to his chest, resting his chin over them. “I wasn’t going to go, actually. I was just going to stay at home.”

“What?” El asked shrilly. “ _Why?_ ”

“Kind of embarrassed, to be honest,” he replied meekly. “And don’t really feel up to socializing with anyone let alone the entire senior class.”

El and Barbara gaped at him comically, their mouths hanging open and eyes wide in surprise. “Are you joking?” El asked. “You’re not going to the senior cookout?”

Louis shook his head resolutely. “No.”

“That’s so _stupid_ , Louis,” El cried. “You’re a bloody senior -- you’ve had a long year and you deserve to go out there and have fun with your mates. I don’t think I know anyone who’s more excited to graduate than you are, so why would you want to miss out on the festivities now that it’s finally here? It makes no sense.”

“Yes, it makes sense,” he argued. “I’m not happy right now and I’m not excited about graduating anymore. Not after everything that has happened. I don’t wanna go out and party with everyone when I’m feeling so fucked up inside -- I can barely make it to class on a day to day basis, let alone this. And like I said, I’m embarrassed. Dean humiliated me in front of the entire frat. I can’t face them -- not this soon.”

“And why is it that _you_ have to stay home and be embarrassed for what’s happened?” Barbara asked him fiercely. “Because you messed up? Why can’t it be Dean for taking advantage of someone who was in a relationship with his frat brother? Why can’t it be Harry? Why do you have to hide yourself? It shouldn’t be that way at all. You should be allowed to go and have fun.”

“Barbara’s right, Louis,” El agreed. “I know you’re upset and you don’t feel like doing anything, but you’ve been waiting for this for a long time. This could help take your mind off of it. If those boys get to go then so do you. You should come with me and Taylor and have fun. Fuck those boys. Fuck frat boys altogether -- who needs them?”

“You would say that,” Barbara smirked like she just made the greatest joke. It worked because it warranted an unexpected laugh from Louis. The other two looked at him for a moment before bursting out laughing, too.

El looked embarrassed for the most part, her cheeks flushed. “Shut up.”

Barbara ignored her, turning to look at Louis with bright, mischievous eyes. “Has she told you what happened with Dylan?” He shook his head and Barbara widened her eyes gleefully before saying, “They kissed!”

“ _What_?” Louis cried turning to look at a crimson El. “You two kissed and you hadn’t told me?”

“It only happened, like, yesterday,” El insisted. “It wasn’t that big of a deal and I know you’re not in the mood as of lately. I just wanted to be sensitive.”

“Doesn’t mean you don’t tell me about this!” Louis told her. “I need a change of topic other than my sad love life, so any and all stories like that are welcome. But, anyways, how was it? Give me details!”

El grinned, her cheeks pink and warm. “It was _nice_. I liked it a lot...rather different than kissing a boy, but also not really. She tasted better, to be honest. We were outside our building and saying goodbye and Dylan just did it. It was quick, but good.”

Louis grinned genuinely for the first time in a few days at the baby steps that El was making. “What does this mean? Where do you two stand now?”

“Not sure,” El shrugged. “Since we’re graduating, I don’t know if a relationship is a good idea, but I wouldn’t be opposed.”

“So...you’d want a girlfriend?” Barbara asked.

El nodded albeit shyly. “Hoping for more progress during senior cookout because she kept insisting we hang out.” El turned to look at Louis with a firm expression. “So that means you have to go because I can’t do this alone.”

Louis gave her a small smile, contemplating the possibility of that. “We’ll see.”

+++

After standing by the front door for a half hour, fully dressed and ready to go and struggling to decide as to whether or not going to the senior cookout would be a good idea, Louis finally decided to attend after all.  

It felt silly to not go and hide himself away at home, he had thought to himself. El and Barbara both proved great points and he kept reminding himself of that on the walk over. Mostly, though, he wanted to go to see Harry. Harry still hadn’t reached out to Louis and despite agreeing to give him time, Louis realized he was impatient and he missed him. He missed talking to Harry and seeing his face, so he succumbed in the end and decided he should end up going. Louis wasn’t sure if Harry’d be up for talking about anything serious during the event, but he wanted to be optimistic. He wanted to walk out of there tonight knowing where they were. If anything, they didn’t have to talk about anything at all right away -- they could just have a good time and discuss things later on. As long as Louis got to see him.  

When he got there, he saw that Queen’s Lawn was decked out with graduation decorations. Colorful balloons, streamers with their school colors, and a big sign that said _You Made It_ in big letters were strewn across the lawn from tree trunk to tree trunk. The entire senior class was crowded around the lawn, air smelling like grills and sausages and cheap beer. Off on the side towards the center, a small stage was propped up where a ton of people were gathered to see the musical acts. A lot of them were hired small town bands or singers and several of them were people in the graduating class who volunteered to do a small set from what Louis’d gathered from El. Currently, a duo was up there, a boy and a girl. The boy was playing the guitar while the girl was crooning out the lyrics to “Wonderwall” by Oasis. It was sweet and he couldn’t help but already feel better.

El was right in saying that a change in atmosphere could be good for Louis. He pulled out his phone, texting her to ask where she was before wandering about on his own. When she finally texted him back, responding to the question, Louis wove his way through the crowd, halting his steps when he realized who she was with.

Standing in front of Louis was the entirety of Theta Chi, decked out in their red and white OX tank tops and matching snapbacks. He normally would have laughed at their cheesy pride, but he suddenly felt himself closing in. It wasn’t a surprise that El would be hanging out with the frats and sororities, but a warning would have been nice. The last time he’d seen most of these boys, Dean was calling him out for hooking up with him and Louis’d caused a definite rift between two of their brothers. He was sure he wasn’t their favorite person right now no matter how much time he spent with them before. It was awkward and Louis almost felt mad at El for leading him here. She probably didn’t realize, too caught up in having fun, but still.

Louis quickly turned around, about to leave when someone grabbed his arm. He turned around, his heart in his throat, expecting it to be one of the guys, but it was only Dylan.

“Hey, you,” she smiled brightly. “Where you off to?”

Louis smiled weakly, finding himself at a loss for words. “Um, nowhere, just. Yeah.”

“El’s been looking for you,” she said ignoring his sudden lack of vocabulary, tugging his arm back towards where he was initially headed. He almost pulled his arm back to run, but the deeper he got in, the more he noticed that everyone was kinda doing their own thing. No one was even looking over at him and Louis started to feel himself relax a bit. He was making this out to be about himself way too much. Or maybe they hadn’t noticed yet. Either way, Louis was here and he couldn’t run anymore. He’d look pathetic.

Dylan stopped in front of El, who was sat with Ed and Taylor. The three of them looked up and smiled at him, even Ed, which Louis was a bit surprised about. “Hi, babe,” El smiled sweetly, getting up to hug him. “You made it! I’m so proud of you.”

Louis let out a small chuckle. “Got dressed and stood by the door for thirty minutes before I could gather up the courage to do so.”

“I’m glad,” El said, pulling back and giving him another smile. “Come sit. We’re waiting for Ed to bring us back food.”

Louis plopped himself down right between Ed and El, giving Taylor a wave, which she returned. El put a protective arm around Louis as he looked over at Ed on his other side. “Ed...what’s the good word?”

“Poppin,” Ed smiled. “Real good, actually. A bit nervous because I’m going to be performing today.”

“Oh, really?” Louis smiled excitedly. “That sounds great. What are you singing?”

“A few originals and a few covers, too.”

“Ed’s a proper artist now,” Taylor said, teasingly. “He’s got originals and everything.”

“Shut up,” Ed blushed, looking down at the bottle of beer in his hand. “I’m alright. Don’t expect anything major when I’m up there.”

“Even if you suck, I’ll be screaming at the top of my lungs for you,” Louis promised. “Don’t you worry about disappointing us.”

Ed laughed, shaking his head in disbelief and amusement. While the four of them chatted, Zayn strolled by with plates full of food for everyone. He raised his eyebrows when seeing Louis, his expression unreadable. Louis waited patiently for Zayn to say something as he passed the plates around, handing one to everyone before going to sit over beside Taylor.

Louis tried not to frown or let his expression give him away, but _ouch_. He didn’t expect much from Zayn, however, he’d be lying if he said that that didn’t sting. Zayn didn’t say a _single word_ to Louis. Louis knew Zayn was a man of few words, but a hello would have been nice. Ed didn’t have a problem talking to him, so what was Zayn’s deal? Then again, Taylor may have had a hand in this and had a talk with Ed regarding being neutral in this situation. Still, this was all suddenly feeling a bit childish.

Despite that, Louis didn’t say or do anything. The others weren’t making a big deal out of it, but El did shoot Louis another encouraging smile, which meant she probably noticed. She shared her sausages and chips with Louis, the two of them eating off of the same plate while she included him in her conversation with Dylan.

When a good half hour passed, Louis was starting to grow more and more curious as to where Harry might be. He hadn’t caught a glimpse of him once, but that wasn’t as surprising since he hadn’t actively sought him out. Louis was a bit scared to, paranoid about what would happen if he did, but now that he was feeling a lot better, he wanted to see Harry. Louis was close to asking Ed a few times where Harry was, but kept chickening out. His eyes darted around the lawn, looking for that familiar head of sweet, brown curls when he finally saw him a mere few feet away when he really looked. Harry was standing by a large tree with a few guys, including Liam and Niall, drinking from a bottle of beer and laughing about something.

It was the first time in days that Louis was seeing Harry and something in him settled. It wasn’t much because the fact still remained that they weren’t speaking, but it made him feel content. Harry looked happy for what it was worth and really good, too, which lifted Louis’ hopes up by a small fraction that maybe this could go okay. Maybe Louis could talk to Harry while he was in this happy, cheerful mood and Harry could tell him that he’d been meaning to reach out to Louis, but was confused just like Louis was. Maybe things could be okay again. And Harry looked so good, too. Red was a really good color on him. Louis almost wanted to go up there and just kiss him like he could have had it been a week ago.

There was something different about him, though. Harry was louder than usual, more talkative, animated and energetic. It took Louis another moment to realize it was because he was pissed drunk. Harry never got like this unless he had a few drinks in him. His eyes were shinier and his lips were pink and wet, like he’d been licking over them too much. When he moved away from the spot where he’d been leaning on a tree for support, he couldn’t even walk in a straight line, which made Louis frown in concern. The cookout barely started two hours ago and Harry was already sloshed out of his mind. None of the others seemed as much concerned, but maybe because Harry seemed to be in such good spirits that they didn’t want to ruin it for him.

Harry staggered a few feet away to the drinks area, grabbing another beer, uncapping it and taking a swig with his fingers wrapped around the neck of the bottle. His eyes were scanning over the crowd with a slight furrow in his brows and Louis started to feel himself panic, looking away in an effort to appear busy or distracted, but it was hard. His eyes kept darting over to check to see if Harry’d spotted him yet, but since his sunglasses were on, Louis couldn’t tell for sure.  

It was seemingly clear when Harry did spot Louis, though, because his body froze with his lips still wrapped around the bottle. A deep frown settled over Harry’s features as he stopped drinking, staring at Louis from where he was standing. Louis wasn’t sure what to do, so he stayed put, maintaining eye contact with Harry. It was unsettling because Louis couldn’t remember a time when Harry and he had been so strained and fucked up that Louis didn’t know whether or not he could talk to him. It was a hard pill to swallow when Louis looked at the whole picture and realized so much had changed. They’d never fought -- not like this -- and Louis hated it.

Louis had never, not once while knowing Harry this past year, ever felt intimidated by his presence. Harry was always welcoming and kind and so fucking wonderful. Right then, though, all Louis wanted was to cower away and hide somewhere because Harry looked so angry and put off just because Louis was there -- at a school event, no less -- where Louis was a student and had every right to be. It almost felt like Louis’d ruined Harry’s day by showing his face and that Harry was happy and okay when he wasn’t here.

It wasn’t a good feeling. Louis’d never seen Harry be rude or hostile to anyone -- well except for last week and now. Harry eventually turned away from Louis, swearing under his breath before chugging the rest of his drink down. Once done, he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and reached for another.

“Oi,” Liam said to Harry with a laugh, despite the concern etched on his face. “Slow down, mate. You do want to be able to walk, don’t you?”

“Fuck it,” Harry called back, his eyes shooting over to Louis really quick. “Need to be really drunk for this one.”

“Harry--.”

“-- _I said, fuck it, Liam_!”

Liam sighed, not saying anything more while Harry didn’t even seem apologetic for yelling. He continued to chug his beer down, reaching for another and when Louis saw Liam look over at him, probably noticing him for the first time as well, Louis looked away from them, feeling the warm burn on his cheeks. Ed must have noticed as he turned to look at Louis. “You alright?” he asked quietly since the boys were speaking distance, trying to meet his eyes.

Louis gave him a short, humorless laugh. “What do you think?” he asked. “ _Harry hates me_. He wants to get drunk so he can forget I’m here. He can’t be around me sober...didn’t you hear?”

“Louis,” Ed said frustratedly. “Of course he cares about you. What happened last week just -- it fucked him up. You don’t understand.”

“You know I do. I don’t blame him, but I didn’t expect _that._ ” Louis’ voice was shaking and he felt like he was on the brink of tearing up and crying again. Louis didn’t want to, of course, not when he was out here in front of the entire senior class and everyone was out to have a good time. Louis took a deep breath, composing himself and schooling his features to something more neutral.

Ed understood that the topic was still a bit touchy, so he simply put an arm around Louis. Louis let himself melt into Ed’s embrace, purposefully not trying to look over at Harry anymore. Ed and Louis talked after that about plans for when they graduated, mostly to get Louis’ mind off of Harry drunkenly screaming nonsense in the background. Ed told Louis how he got an internship at a record label and while that would require him to do a lot of bitch work for free, he was willing if only to get his foot into the industry. Along with that, he also wanted to do some gigs at pubs and small venues to see if he could garner some attention and gauge out whether or not people liked him.

The conversation reminded Louis once again that they were less than a month from graduating and everyone sort of had a plan as to what they were doing. And then there was Louis -- the only one who was actually once excited about graduating and getting out of there -- who didn’t have a plan or anything, really. He’d have to fix up his CV, scope out companies to apply to, figure out living arrangements, and so many other things. Just the thought of it made Louis feel nothing but tired and all he wanted was to not bother and go to sleep.

Louis wasn’t ready for this to all be over. He didn’t want to leave here with Harry hating him or being on bad terms with some of his friends or ending one of the best years of his life on a bad note. If this was how it was all going to go down, then he refused to let it end this way. Louis wanted to fix this even if it meant putting himself out there.

“El,” Louis said, turning to face her. “Mind coming up with me to get something to drink?”

El was just about to nod when she looked over by the drinks and spotted Harry downing his beer. She quirked an eyebrow at him curiously. “Uh -- you sure?”

Louis licked his lips feeling them dry up with how nervous he was and gave a shrug. “I think so, yeah.” When he turned to look back at Harry, talking to a few of the guys, he started to feel nervous again. “Urm, maybe we can all go in a group? I think that would be easier.”

“Sure,” El nodded. She looked back to Dylan to ask her to come with while Louis asked Ed and Taylor, who easily agreed. Louis would ask Zayn, but he felt weird doing so when Zayn wasn’t really talking to him. One obstacle at a time, though.

The five of them made their way over to the drinks area, which was pretty busy. Students were shuffling back and forth to get a bottle or two before going back to their spot. At first, Harry didn’t notice Louis was there. He wasn’t laughing with his friends anymore, instead, looking like he was deep in thought despite being surrounded by everyone. Louis grabbed a beer, dwindling by the sides and hoping Harry would see him.  

It just seemed silly that Louis felt like he couldn’t approach Harry or say something. They weren’t broken up. Harry couldn’t break up with Louis without saying it and he hadn’t. This was more like a fight as Barbara said and Harry was still Louis’ boyfriend, so he could go over to him if he wanted. The only thing stopping him from doing so was the fact that Harry wasn’t making a move to do the same. He hadn’t spoken to Louis at all in _days_ and that was the saddest part of it all -- his silence. But maybe Louis was meant to make the first move. He was the one that did mess up and maybe Harry was waiting for him to come over and talk to him.

Louis searched for Ed, Taylor, El and Dylan, spotting them standing off on the side with their drinks and talking to someone they knew. Louis could go over and join them instead of awkwardly standing about and obsessing over Harry, but he knew that even if he went there, he’d still be obsessing over Harry. It was a no brainer and since Louis was here and he’d made it this far, he owed it to himself to just do it. Just get it over with otherwise he’d go mad.

With a quick glance around to see if anyone was watching him -- which they weren’t -- Louis ventured out towards Harry while giving himself internal pep talks and taking rather large, deep breaths. When Louis was close, approaching Harry with slow steps, Harry spotted him. Louis’ heart rate picked up, making him want to almost turn around and go back to where the others were, but he didn’t. He locked eyes with Harry, hoping he’d see the desperation behind his eyes.

Instead, Harry froze, lips parted in surprise. His sunglasses were lifted to sit on top of his hair so Louis could see his eyes and the dark bruise circling one of them from the fight. There was a brief moment where Louis felt like Harry was okay -- that they could talk because he didn’t look as angry anymore. But then Harry swiftly changed his expression to something more disinterested. “Mates, let’s go get another drink, yeah?” Harry asked his friends, keeping his gaze locked on Louis’ before turning around and leading them back to the coolers.

Louis frowned at the spot where Harry had previously stood feeling like he’d just been slapped by something cold and sharp. It didn’t occur to him that Harry’d just ignore him if he approached him. The worst Louis expected was him not being as nice or something, but not _that_. Completely taken aback and not at all what he expected, Louis turned around himself.

Louis bypassed his friends and found a spot by himself on the grass near the back where a few kids were smoking and lying about on the grass. If only there was a way to teleport himself back home and under the covers where it wouldn’t feel so fucked up, then he’d be okay because right now Louis felt anything but. He felt hurt, upset and for some odd reason like he didn’t belong there.

What Harry did was off putting and almost uncalled for. He saw Louis -- Louis knew he did because Harry wasn’t wearing his stupid sunglasses -- and just _walked away_. If Harry refused to speak to Louis and in retrospect not be with him anymore, then Harry could tell him. Harry didn’t have to bypass him or avoid him in public because Louis deserved more than that. After all they’d been through and all that they were to each other, _Louis deserved more than that_ even if Harry didn’t think so.

El and Ed found Louis deep in thought a while after with his face scrunched up and frowning. Ed waved a hand in front of his face to snap him out of it before sitting down beside him. “Why the long face, Tommo?” he asked. “What’s got you in a pout?”

Louis tried to ease the frown on his face as El sat down beside him, looking at him just as curiously as Ed, but it felt fruitless. He felt like fucking shit. “Harry just ignored me,” he told them, sucking in the corner of his lip into his mouth, hoping it didn’t sound as pathetic as it was. “I walked up to him to, I don’t know, chat, I guess. And he walked away. Just fucking ignored me like I mean nothing to him.”

“What the fuck,” El breathed out in an almost disbelief. Louis could relate.

Ed didn’t look as phased or bothered, though. “I wouldn’t worry about that. He’s doing it now to be a dick because he’s hurt and upset, but he cares about you.”

“That’s a funny way to show that he cares about me,” Louis said scoffing. “Harry doesn’t give a fuck. He’s out there getting pissed drunk and being obnoxious.”

“Louis,” Ed said carefully with a small smile on his lips. “If Harry had a drink for every fuck he gave about you, he’d be drunk for life.”

Louis stared at Ed in surprise, speechless as his words sent a surge of hope up his spine. Despite the fact that he knew it was silly to have any hope at this point, it was all he wanted -- any indication that Harry and he’d be okay and that this was just a rough patch. Ed gave Louis another smile before tipping his head back to drink from his bottle. Louis faced forward again thoughtfully, playing with the tips of his shoes. Aside from the hope, Louis wanted to believe what Ed said -- in fact, he wanted to _know_ it. Harry and Louis were best friends and they were so in love and together that it seemed almost crazy to think Harry’d suddenly stop caring about him after a mere few days.

When it came time for Ed to go up on stage and do his fifteen minute set, El and Louis grabbed their drinks and headed towards the stage, joining the large crowd. Louis tried not to actively look for Harry to see if he’d come around to see Ed sing and instead tried to focus on Ed getting his guitar tuned and ready to play. It worked well for the most part, but it grew harder when Louis could actually hear Harry speaking because he was so _loud_.

“When the fuck is Ed on?” he heard Harry shouting. “Ed, start fucking singing, mate.” Harry followed that with a loud cackling laugh that Louis’d grown to love, but right now it seemed almost unpleasant.

Eventually, curiosity got the best of him and Louis casually looked around to spot Harry, noticing that he was only a few feet away, stood with all the boys. There were a couple of sorority girls with them as well, but none of them seemed to be around Harry and mostly just with the other guys. Harry was too busy, fixated upon the stage and trying to look over all the people to see Ed, who’d just started strumming his guitar to the tune a Ke$ha song, which was typical.

Despite the good music and Louis’ initial plan to see Ed perform, he couldn’t tear his eyes off of Harry. Louis let himself really look at him without fearing that he’d look back or Louis’d get caught. It was safe with all the people around them since Ed garnered the biggest crowd of any act there and Louis could get away with it. Harry stood there, nodding along to the music and really all Louis wanted to do was go over and hold his hand or something. Anything to just be close to him. Louis was craving Harry’s familiar smell, his touch and the feel of his skin underneath Louis’ fingertips. But Louis couldn’t. He couldn’t go over and be with Harry because he had no idea where they stood as a couple. And that was the funny part about it all -- they weren’t even broken up, but Louis couldn’t be with him.

It wasn’t funny, though, mostly just sad.

Louis’d come here today thinking that he’d get some answers, but all he got was a numbing heartache and muddled thoughts.

As Louis was about to snap himself out of it and properly focus on Ed, because he was smashing it as usual with his next cover of Big Sean, Harry’s eyes flickered over to Louis almost seamlessly like he’d sought Louis out long before and knew exactly where he was standing. Their eyes locked and this time Harry didn’t look away and pretend like he didn’t see Louis standing there, something Louis hated and would do anything to change. Harry’s eyes and expression were unguarded and almost longing and sad. Every inch of Louis’ body was suddenly begging for him to go -- make his way over to Harry because this felt like an opening, but then the moment broke shortly after when Harry fixed his expression to something more hard with his lips pressed tight in a thin line.

Louis should have known. It was too easy after the way Harry’d been towards him during this entire event. It didn’t explain, though, why Harry was watching him now with such determination when all he’d done until now was avoid Louis -- when he made it so clear he didn’t even want Louis there. But then Harry shifted a bit back so that he was more included in the group that he was with. His eyes didn’t leave Louis’ as he wrapped an arm around one of the girls with him.

Louis’ lips parted in astonishment despite the fact that he knew what was going to happen before it happened. Harry pulled the girl close to him, leaning down to whisper something in her ear that made her giggle and lean further into him. He then put his other arm around another girl to whisper sweet nothings into her ear as well. And through all of this, Harry’s eyes were trained on Louis, making sure he knew Louis was watching. Louis had known this, but it never seemed to surprise him that if Harry was anything, he was an overachiever, flirting with two girls simultaneously and knowing _exactly_ what it was doing to Louis.

And it fucking _hurt._ It felt like Harry was trying to make Louis have a taste of his own medicine and while a part of him knew he deserved that, it didn’t mean that he could accept seeing Harry with anyone else. It didn’t mean he could stand there and watch while Harry tried to pull two at the same time. Something heavy and ugly settled into his stomach and he knew he couldn’t be there any longer. Coming to the senior cookout was obviously a mistake despite El’s good intentions and efforts. If Louis hadn’t come, Harry wouldn't have ignored him, he wouldn’t be out here trying to get with girls, but another part of Louis knew that it hardly mattered he was there because it wasn’t like Harry was acknowledging him. He would have done all those things, anyway.

Louis pulled his gaze away from Harry, seeing that Dylan had joined El while he was looking at Harry and that the two of them were standing a bit ahead of him, trying to sneakily hold hands. Louis hoped they were distracted long enough to not notice him slip away, pushing through the crowd until he was sprinting back home.

+++

Twenty minutes later, Louis found himself sat on his balcony, letting out choked sobs, like they were being ripped out of his chest. He couldn’t remember crying this much in his entire life -- not like back in the day where it was a couple of tears and just feeling blue for a little while. This was more like collapsing on the ground and having every inch of his emotions being pulled out of him involuntarily. It seemed that no matter how much he’d cried for the past few days, his tear quota wasn’t quite filled up yet. This time he couldn’t stop, nor did he want to.

Louis let himself get swallowed by it, because it was oddly comforting. He couldn’t get the picture of Harry and those girls out of his mind. He knew Harry did that to spite him and that was the worst part because Louis never thought that things would come this far. When he thought back to the way they started and how it had all come down to this -- this wasn’t what he wanted...it wasn’t supposed to end like this. It was _never_ supposed to get this bad. Where was the warning? Because with Harry it had always been so easy that Louis couldn’t have suspected such a turn if his life depended on it.

Louis just needed to know if it was over. He needed to know if this was it because he couldn’t continue on like this. If Harry would just come out and tell him that he didn’t want him anymore and that he couldn’t bear to hold him then Louis’d leave him alone even though the thought of it flooded him with all this dread and pain and heartbreak. But he’d have an answer and a path to go down. He’d have something other than these mixed signals. A part of Louis felt like maybe the answer was right there, but he didn’t want to accept it, which was why Louis needed Harry to tell him.  

Maybe Louis should give up, then. Maybe this was how it was really meant to end.  

  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one was a sad one to write, but i hope you all liked how it turned out and understood louis' pov a bit more, though harry's is p muddled rn. next update is thursday night :)  
>   
> [tumblr](http://softasurcheek.tumblr.com/) / [fic page](http://softasurcheek.tumblr.com/yail) / [chapter post](http://softasurcheek.tumblr.com/post/140590354105/fic-you-are-in-love-author-wildestdreams)  
>   
> [indefinite hiatus](http://softasurcheek.tumblr.com/post/140745808340/indefinite-hiatus-for-you-are-in-loves)


	24. the one with the last frat party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiiiiii. i'm back. i wanna thank everyone for being so incredible during the hiatus. i've recieved so many messages and lovely vibes from people that i couldn't do the hiatus any longer. thank you thank you thank you :) and a big thank you to [mac](http://realitybetterthanfiction.tumblr.com/) for editing this. i hope you like this chapter, though it does get a bit angsty, but also smutty. happy reading!  
>   
> and a note to the haters: if you don't like the fic, don't read it. no one is holding a gun to your head and forcing you to read or comment rude things about me, my fic, or the way i think or live my life. xx :)

There were less than two weeks left till the end of term -- till the day they graduated. Less than two weeks until this was all over and Louis wouldn’t be walking on the same campus grounds, going into the same classrooms in the same school buildings, or seeing his friends every day.

It was a lot to process because it was a huge change and an adjustment. However, the school system barely ever gave students who were graduating a grace period where they weren’t bombarded with last minute papers and projects on top of final exams; meanwhile also trying to properly become an adult and figure out life and how to handle the change. It was why most students just stopped caring and went with the flow rather than scrambling to finish everything. That was probably how the term senioritis was coined. Nobody Louis knew was studying long hours for their exams -- they were studying the night before or real quickly the morning of. Even El and she was the most studious out of all of them.

Louis would have done that as well, but he somehow found comfort and solace in his work. It wasn’t that his friends weren’t cutting it. That wasn’t it at all. They just didn’t give him immediate distraction like his course work did. Louis could sit at the library for hours and revise at his pace because time was barely a factor for him anymore. He’d find himself there all day either in between classes or afterwards until the sky turned a shade of dark blue. Doing this gave him something to keep himself busy and to stop thinking about everything that had been happening for the past few weeks. Louis still thought about it, but not as much as he would have if he sat in his room while staring at his white walls or vented to his friends about how upset he was.

The library was quiet and had a good atmosphere that made Louis focused and that was what he needed. He needed to focus on the future because that was the only thing driving him to keep going. Everyone always said that if you let time pass, it would get better and God knew Louis needed that.

“Louis, dear,” he heard a soft, female voice speak up from behind him. Louis paused midst writing some notes beside the margins in his notebook and turned to look. It was Karen, the middle aged library aide, who’d grown accustomed to seeing him around there and since then they’d reached first name base. “We’re about to close in ten. Hate to break up your concentration, but you’re going to have to go home. Everyone else has left.”

It was only then that Louis realized all the tables around him were empty and there wasn’t a single keyboard or pen clicking or the sound of pages turning in the air. It was dead quiet.

“Oh,” Louis said slowly and a bit belatedly. “Sorry. Lost track of time.”

“No worries, dear,” Karen laughed, straightening out the chairs in the room while he packed everything away. “I can see you got rather immersed into your work. Absolutely love your work ethic.”

“Thanks,” he mumbled with a breathy chuckle, zipping up his bag and slinging it on his shoulder. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Karen. Have a good night.”

“You, too, Louis. Good night.”

Karen smiled at him, giving Louis a wave, which he returned before walking out of the library. The night air was warm and brisk, the perfect amount of warm and breezy, which made walking back home feel rather nice. Campus was dead, except for the few kids who were sitting by the fountain and having a smoke or walking out of the dining hall to head back to their dorms. When Louis got a whiff of the savory food smell coming out of the dining hall, his stomach grumbled in protest, and he realized he hadn’t eaten anything all day except little snacks he packed for the library. Fuck...that wasn’t good. It was nearing midnight and he could only hope El had something to eat at home otherwise he was going to have to cook and he was too tired to even bother.

Once Louis finally got home and walked through the front door, he was greeted by Dylan and El cuddling on the couch with some movie on. They both looked up at him simultaneously as he walked in and greeted him with smiles. They’d only been dating a few days and they were already mirroring each other. What the fuck.

“You’re in late,” El said sounding a bit concerned. “Where’ve you been?”

“Library,” he replied, though he had a feeling she knew. “Sorry about that. How are you guys?”

“We’re good,” Dylan responded. “We ordered takeaway. Indian tonight. Hope you don’t mind. We were going to wait for you to get home to decide, but we got super hungry.”

“It’s fine. That’s my fault. Indian sounds really good, actually,” Louis said. “I’m starving so I’ll eat just about anything. I’ll just go freshen up.”

“Yeah, sure,” said El before adding, “We’re watching that new Emma Stone movie. You could come join us.”

Louis bit the cushion of his bottom lip and shrugged unsurely. “I’m not really in the mood for that. I’m super tired. I was going to take my dinner to my room anyway, but thanks for offering.”

El gave Louis an understanding smile, though he knew she was feeling off about his answer if her expression was anything to go by. She probably just didn’t want to put him on the spot, but he wasn’t really in the mood for a movie or to sit with her and Dylan and be a third wheel. He just wanted to be alone. “I understand.”

Louis smiled back at her meekly before slipping away to his bedroom and changing out of his clothes and into shorts and a t-shirt. As he headed back out and walked towards the kitchen, he heard Dylan and El talking in hushed whispers.  

“How’s he doing?” Louis heard Dylan ask El, prompting Louis to slow his steps and halt before the hallway ended into the sitting room. “Have you been talking to him?”

“I honestly can’t tell,” El responded to her, sounding frustrated. “I know he’s putting up a front that he’s okay because his smiles aren’t as genuine -- and sometimes it feels like the light from his eyes is gone as cheesy as that sounds. Like, he looks so blank and out of it, Dyl, it really worries me. He’s so quiet and closed in. We haven’t spoken about this stuff since the senior cookout when he disappeared.”

“You didn’t ask him why he left?”

“I tried to, but he avoided answering it. I think Harry upset him and I don’t think they’re talking still. I wish Harry would just give him a chance. I wish he’d understand how sorry Louis is because I hate seeing him like this.”

“You just have to be there for him,” Dylan told her softly. “There’s not much else you can do. It’s really up to them.”

“You’re right. I just feel like a terrible friend knowing what’s bothering him and not being able to help.”

“You’re a great friend. And I can bet you anything he knows it. Let this run its course because I’m sure they’ll both realize sooner or later that they need to resolve it.”

“I hope so.”

That seemed to be the end of the conversation as they played the movie again, filling the room with noise once more. Louis found himself slowly backtracking out of there, suddenly not feeling as hungry as he was a minute ago. He went back into his room, closing the door behind him and crawling into his undone bed, which for some strange fucking reason still smelled like Harry.

It made absolutely no sense that Louis could smell Harry on his sheets when he hadn’t been on them in weeks. Louis could even smell Harry on himself, but that was most likely because he was wearing Harry’s shirt so it made sense. The bed situation didn’t. It was probably why every night when Louis went to sleep, he’d be filled with thoughts of nights with Harry. Long nights with Harry where they went on coffee runs and didn’t come back till the sun came up. Nights with Harry where they stayed in bed and he made Louis his own. His smell consumed Louis to the point where he couldn’t think of anything but nights with Harry. And it was cruel and counterproductive, really, because he spent all day trying to actively not think about Harry and then he’d come to bed and it would be all he did.

Louis settled down under the covers, trying to let the noise from the movie on in the other room drown out his thoughts, but it was fruitless. Louis didn’t want El to worry about him or feel bad because she thought she was a bad friend. She wasn’t and Louis appreciated her efforts into making him feel better, however, he just needed to figure this stuff out on his own, despite the fact that he had no idea what to do.

Louis knew he made a horrible mistake and he tried to do the right thing by owning up to it, but every day he couldn’t help but wonder if it was the right choice or not. He apologized, he bared his heart out to Harry and it wasn’t enough. It felt useless and empty saying sorry or anything at all because the look of hurt on Harry’s face was heartbreaking. El was right -- Harry and him weren’t talking anymore. Harry had sent him a few texts the night of the senior cookout and Louis’d responded with a simple _you’re wrong_ , but Harry never responded back. He probably woke up the day after and regretted saying anything.

Those texts sort of relieved Louis, but they hurt, too. Harry didn’t hook up with anyone, but he was still angry with him. He told Louis he loved him, but that didn’t matter at this point. Loving each other wasn’t cutting it. It was making everything more complicated if anything.

So, Louis’d taken to avoiding the situation altogether. He didn’t want to deal with it because he didn’t know how beyond everything he’d already done. And it seemed okay most of the time, but nights like these when he was reminded of the reality of his life and everything going on it, he felt like the walls were caving in. Like they weren’t going to get out of this unscathed.

+++

Louis’ programming textbook lied open on his lap while he stretched his legs out and leaned back on the tree he was sitting under. The air conditioner in the library wasn’t working, so it was like a sauna in there, and the weather today was spot on, which was why Louis was revising outside instead. The lawn in front of the library stretched wide with dark green grass and picnic tables with umbrellas for shade. Several students were outside either sunbathing with pop radio on, playing footie, or revising like he was.

Louis found himself so engrossed in his notes that he hadn’t noticed when Niall and Zayn plopped down across from him. It only registered when they called his name. He looked up at the two, surprised that they were there, but mostly because he thought they were mad at him. Neither of them really spoke to him at the cookout.

“Hey Louis,” Zayn greeted with a smile. “Revising?”

Louis nodded slowly, still feeling rather taken aback and confused. “Yeah, uh, got finals coming up.”

“Don’t remind me,” Niall said to that. “I’ve been pretending I don’t have to take any.”

“Niall hasn’t done any revision,” Zayn told Louis matter of factly, as though that wasn’t surprising, which knowing Niall it really wasn’t.

“Who cares?” Niall shrugged before Louis could respond. “I’m graduating. What the fuck are they gonna do?”

“Withhold your diploma if you fail your courses.”

“I’m _not_ going to fail,” Niall retorted quickly, though his expression did seem a bit fearful at Zayn’s warning. Zayn laughed at him before turning to look at Louis, his expression a lot softer. “You doing alright, Louis? Besides the revision and prep.”

Louis shrugged in response, not really sure how to respond to that. He was well aware they both knew everything that had been going on since his fight with Harry, so there was no point in sugarcoating any of it or acting like it wasn’t happening. Of course he wasn’t doing okay -- he felt like shit everyday. “I’ve been better,” Louis finally said.

Niall looked a bit somber then, his eyes more serious. “Have you spoken to Harry at all?”

“No,” Louis told him. “He doesn’t want to speak to me.” Before either of them could say anything, Louis spoke up again so that he could make sense of what they were doing here now considering the silence these past few days. “As far as I was aware, neither were you two. What changed?”

Both of them looked guilty at that, like they were regretful and unsure of how to really respond now that Louis’d called them out. It was Zayn who spoke up first to explain, though. “Harry’s our friend and we’re not saying that you aren’t, but we were upset that you hurt him. We never thought you’d do that.”

“It’s not like I wanted to,” Louis quickly defended himself. “I didn’t want to do any of that.”

“That’s not how Dean is saying it.” White, hot anger surged through Louis as he shut his textbook and put it aside. As if Dean hadn’t done enough damage. Now he was telling a different version of the story? Fucking tosser.

“Are you really going to listen to Dean when he came on to your best mate’s boyfriend? He doesn’t really seem like a top lad to put your faith into right now.”

“I know,” Niall said, his eyes wide and a bit alarmed at Louis snapping at him. “I know what happened, okay? Harry told us everything you told him. We honestly couldn’t believe Dean could do that since he was such a good friend of ours for years.”

“He’s a shit friend,” Louis told them angrily, his brows furrowed. Maybe none of them should have stopped Harry from beating the shit out of him that time. Maybe they should have let Harry continue till that bastard was in a coma or summat.

“Going back to what you were saying,” Zayn said then, snapping Louis out of his murderous thoughts. “We just weren’t sure what to do because we love Harry and we love you. You were both hurt, but we only heard Harry’s side of it at first and then Taylor and Barbara spoke to us. They told us how you’ve been and -- everyone’s really worried about you, Louis. We’re worried about both of you.”

“He’s right,” Niall agreed. “Harry’s been looking like shit lately and all he does is get pissed when we go out. I haven’t seen him like this in my life, Louis." Niall paused for a moment, calculating his next few words as though he wasn't sure whether he should even say it or not. Finally, he looked Louis in the eyes. "Harry told me he loves you more than anything and he’s never been this hurt.”

“I love him more than anything, too," Louis immediately, replied back, fierce and earnest. "But he doesn’t believe me nor does he want to talk to me. I’m not quite sure what I’m meant to do about it. I just miss him and I don’t know. _I don’t know_.”

Louis was suddenly frantic and feeling like jumping out of his skin. Hearing about how Harry was doing and how sad he’d been -- all Louis wanted to do was to run to him and fall at his feet. He was ready to beg and do anything because he hated the sinking feeling inside of him. He hated feeling like the only thing holding the two of them together at the moment was a thin thread that was going to rip any second, like Harry could slip away from Louis and they wouldn’t be one anymore.

"Give it time, I'd assume," Zayn said answering what Louis’d said. "You can't force him to if he's not ready...and I'm sure he will be at some point. He's still trying to process this, but Harry probably has things to say. He won’t just leave you cold turkey."

"And he's only just stopped trying to kill Dean every time he sees him," Niall added. “It’s progress, I’d say.”

Louis frowned at Niall, concern and confusion etched on his face. He didn't think the two of them would still be fighting. Louis'd assumed it was just tense and awkward since that day, but nothing more. Niall laughed nervously, running a hand through his hair when he caught sight of Louis, realizing he probably shouldn’t have said that. "Harry doesn't stay at the frat house that much, but he stops by and if he sees Dean -- well let's just say he's tried to get a few more punches in. It’s like seeing Dean snaps something in him and he just goes at it -- no warning, nothing. Dean always has to be with a group of guys in case Harry pops out nowhere and gets him."

"Pansy arse wanker," Zayn chuckled amusingly.

“It’s kind of funny, actually if you think about it,” Niall said then. Louis arched an eyebrow at him curiously because what part of this was funny? Nothing, in his opinion. Niall grinned as he explained. “Well, you two are like Ross and Rachel. Except in this case -- you’re Ross and Harry’s Rachel, which works out great because that’s his favorite character. You’re both absolutely perfect together, but you have one fight because you’re jealous of someone else stealing Harry from you and then you go on a break after the fight and accidentally hook up with Dean and when you tell Harry, he’s upset and he tells you that you cheated. And you’re just like, _we were on a break_.” Niall paused for a moment before saying, “Okay, maybe not exactly like that, but _pretty much_.”

“Oh my god, Niall,” Zayn groaned despite smiling and kicking him with his feet as though it would make him stop talking. Louis was still frowning at the uncanny similarities that Niall pointed out that he didn’t notice Zayn turn to look at him. "Anyway, we're really sorry, Louis."

"We are,” Niall said. "We're really protective of our mates and Harry's one of our best. You know how he is. He's a lot more sensitive than he lets on and we were thinking we were looking out for him, but since the girls spoke to us, we realized that you’re upset, too. And we care. We care about you a lot and know you didn’t want to cheat on him."

"I didn't," Louis shook his head. "I don't have any feelings for Dean. I didn't want any of that to happen...it just got out of control."

"We know that. Dean is an annoying git," Niall said. "Forget him. Focus on yourself and Harry. Are you coming to the party this weekend? Maybe you could talk then."

With everything happening and Louis’ avid focus on his studies, he hadn't really thought of going to any parties. It seemed wrong to even think of doing that for some reason. And after the senior cookout, he didn't want to take the chance to go to a gathering again. Harry wasn't hooking up with anyone else, but he wasn't being so warm and friendly either.

"I wasn't planning to, no," Louis replied finally.

"You have to," Niall frowned like it wasn’t the answer he was expecting. "It's the last big one till graduation. After this is finals and the frat's going to only have private events for members only like the senior send off and what not. This is your last chance."

"I don't know," he said with a shrug. "I'm not sure I'd feel all that great going. It feels weird."

"Louis," Niall said, grabbing Louis’ hand and looking him in the eyes with a serious expression. "Fuck this drama. Come out and enjoy. We're going to be graduating Uni soon and this is the last frat party all year. Actually -- last frat party ever in your life probably. You've been to almost all of them this past year and you have to come to the last one. It would be so messed up if you don’t -- for yourself and your friends."

Ugh. Fucking Niall and his smart logic. He not only just made a weird comparison of Louis’ love life with _Friends_ , but now he was making Louis want to actually go to the party. It did seem sort of upsetting to think that this could be the last frat party ever after having gone to so many over the past year. He liked a good party and he didn’t want to look back in a couple of years and think he missed out on the very last one because he was brooding. It would be like leaving something unfinished or half arsed.

"Plus," Niall added for good measure. "We're going all out with photobooths and costumes and war paint and everything."

"It’s going to be massive," Zayn said.

That got a small smile out of Louis, which had the two boys delighted and grinning at him. It was nice of them to be concerned about him and they were clearly making an effort. Louis'd feel bad to continue shunning everyone out and he also didn't want to miss out on these things because as Niall said -- it was the last frat party ever and he owed it to himself.

"Yeah, okay. I'll go," Louis said.

Niall pumped his fist in the air in victory and launched forward to pull Louis into a hug that had him toppling over on the grass with a laugh.

 

+++

When Louis got to the party the next night, it was much more crowded than it usually was the other weekends, which wasn’t surprising seeing as how this was the very last one. El gripped onto his hand in case he thought about running away and led him to the center room to find Ed and Zayn having some lip synch rap battle to “Monster”.

“They would do this,” Barbara commented with an amused expression as she rolled her eyes while everyone stood by to watch. Moments later Niall showed up, wrapping an arm around Barbara and giving her a kiss on the cheek as a greeting.

“All good, guys?” he asked the rest of them.

“Peachy,” Louis replied.

“Just watching my boyfriend pretend he’s Nicki Minaj,” Taylor shrugged to Ed’s rapping, making them laugh.

“Can you get us drinks, please?” El asked Niall with a bat of her lashes.

Niall flicked her on the nose once, to which she scowled, and nodded, giving Barbara another kiss before walking over to the drinks table. He returned soon after with Liam in tow, who was helping him carry the drinks. Liam ended up being the one carrying Louis’ and he gave him a smile before handing Louis the cup.

“It’s just beer,” Liam said as Louis took a sip. “I could go get you something else if you’d like.”

“Beer’s good,” Louis replied giving him a small smile back.

Liam nodded once, looking over at Louis curiously. “Are you doing alright? Haven’t seen you in a while.”

“I’m okay,” Louis said. “You?”

“Good,” Liam responded before licking over his lips a bit nervously. “Look, I spoke to the boys and they told me you’ve been really upset, which -- I get. I didn’t really think it through before holding a grudge, you know?”

“Yeah, I know. They mentioned you guys were just looking out for Harry.”

“We were,” Liam added. “I was hearing different things because Dean is saying it one way and you’re saying it another. And there’s Harry, who’s just so upset.”

Speaking of Harry, Louis started to wonder where he was because he hadn’t seen him at all since they’d arrived. His eyes started scanning the room, searching for his face, but he wasn’t anywhere in that room so maybe in another. Liam continued speaking after taking a quick sip from his drink. “Honestly, I know how you are and I know you wouldn’t intentionally hurt him. I’ve properly thought about it and I’ve spoken to Harry, too. He’s sort of on your side as well. We all are, Louis. It’s just a sticky situation.”

Louis nodded with a soft sigh. “I know I fucked up, but I was honest. I told Harry before Dean could and I know I should’ve done him better. Harry never deserved what I did and I can’t say sorry enough, but he won’t speak to me and Ed told me to just give him time.”

Liam put an arm around Louis, pulling him in close. “Ed’s right, but hey, listen...you deserve him, alright?” he said to Louis softly despite the loud music. “You love him and he loves you. Just figure your shit out soon, okay?” Liam grinned at him, trying to lighten up the mood and Louis nodded with a small smile.

“I do, yeah, I love him. Doesn’t believe me, though.”

“He will,” Liam confirmed confidently. “Just give him time and enjoy for now, yeah? Last party and all.”

“So, I’m being told,” Louis laughed.

+++

 

 

 

   

**(AN: Last manip of El/Liam is by Moonlight Direction)**

From then on, Louis felt a lot lighter than he had since walking through the doors. He got such an unwelcoming vibe from the senior cookout that he genuinely did not want to go out to any social event. He had thought that if half of his friends weren’t speaking to him, then what was the point? The only thing that got him to come tonight at first was keeping Niall and Zayn’s word as well as the girls. Once Liam and Louis spoke, he felt better knowing that more people were on his side rather than listening to whatever bogus crap Dean was trying to feed them.

So, Louis listened to his friends. He finally let down his guard and let himself have fun after what felt like ages.

Once Zayn and Ed were done belting out “Monster”, the music changed to that new Rihanna tune and everyone joined Zayn and Ed on the dance floor. And halfway through, they all made their way to the photobooth, pulling on crazy costumes and accessories whilst taking silly pictures together before going back to the dance floor again. And that was how the night progressed.

They drank and danced until they were tired from it, laughing about the stupid shapes each of them were pulling. For instance, at one point, Niall tried to twerk on Zayn, but it was too cramped on the dance floor and he ended up flat on his face on the floor. Zayn, Louis, Liam and Ed were bowled over laughing. "Oh, no, Niall," they all cooed while helping him up.

However, throughout it all, Louis didn’t see Harry. He wasn’t in any of the rooms Louis walked through, so that either meant he was in his bedroom or the basement, which was where all the stoners lounged about, or the backyard. It was odd because all of his best mates were here and while he was friends with everybody around, it was unlike him to just be MIA the entire time.

Louis tried not to actively look for Harry because he was meant to be having fun, which he was, but he couldn’t help but think about Harry. He was _always_ thinking about Harry. He was stuck between wanting to see him purely because he missed him, but also wanting to stay away because last time Harry saw Louis, he didn’t look too happy and it ruined everyone’s good moods. Louis didn’t want a repeat of that, so he stayed put and did his own thing.

After grabbing his third drink, Louis stood by the stairs leading to the second floor with Barbara and Niall, who were making out beside him, and Louis couldn’t help but peer up, wondering if Harry was there. The lights were off, so he wasn’t able to see much, but it was worth a shot.

“Looking for someone?”

Louis visibly startled, almost spilling his drink over his cup before turning to see who it was, only to be met by Dean’s stupid mug. Louis was trying hard not to scowl, but failed because it was a bit hard to when Dean was standing there smiling like a prick. “What do you want?” Louis glared.

Dean looked surprised at his tone and response, furrowing his brows in confusion. “Are you upset with me?” he asked, like that was a shock to him. How thick was he? Unbelievable.  

“No shit, arsehole,” Louis snapped. “Honestly don’t know why you’re here talking to me. Leave me alone.”

“Well, I don’t know why you’re mad at _me_ when I didn’t even tell Harry. That was _you_. So, excuse me if I didn’t expect you to be pissed at me. You were also the one kissing me back that day, so.”

Louis rolled his eyes. “If you honestly think that you’re in any way innocent regarding what happened that day then you’re sadly mistaken,” he said crossing his arms. “Coming onto someone, who clearly has no feelings for you and never did for that matter, when he was upset and utterly drunk shows how much of a dick you are. That too, a boy who’s dating your frat brother. Shitty move.”

“Then how come _you_ \-- being in a relationship with my frat brother -- thought it was okay to kiss me?” he asked Louis back with narrowed eyes, leaving him speechless for a moment. Dean smirked with a pleased and smug expression at his reaction. “Besides, seeing how things have been going, I highly doubt he’s your boyfriend anymore. So, we might as well just finish what we had started.”

“You’re disgusting,” Louis said, wrinkling his nose at him while backing away. “Don’t fucking talk to me. I don’t know why the fact that I don’t want you doesn’t get through your thick skull, mate. It’s so fucking sad. You’re _pathetic_.”

That seemed to wipe the smirk off of Dean’s face right away and his face flushed red in embarrassment, spurring Louis to continue with a smirk of his own.

“I actually feel kind of bad for you. You’ve been chasing me for so long and I want Harry -- I’ve always wanted Harry and you’re still out here trying to pretend like that isn’t the truth.”  

Just as Dean was about to step forward and say something to that, Harry appeared and stood between them so that Louis was blocked from Dean’s view. “Problem, Dean?” Harry asked, stepping forward, distancing Dean from Louis.

Dean let out a nervous chuckle and shook his head casually. “No problem, mate. Just chatting, innit Louis? A bit of banter, really.”

At that point, Dean was backed up against the wall with Harry towering over him due to their height difference. It didn’t look like Dean was going to say anything else because he kept looking around nervously and trying really hard not to maintain eye contact with Harry. It almost made Louis want to laugh out loud at how intimidated he looked. Dean was being so cocky and annoying, but as soon as Harry got there, his whole demeanor changed.

Harry found it funny, too, letting out a pitiful laugh. His expression turned more serious as he looked directly into Dean’s eyes then. “Louis’ right. It is really _pathetic_ what you’re doing. I feel bad for you, too.”

“Louis wasn’t saying that when I was --,” Dean started to say before Louis threw his cup full of beer at his face. Dean gaped at Louis and wiped at his eyes, trying to get the beer off his face.

“I fucking dare you to finish that,” Louis said to him with gritted teeth.

Harry leaned in close to Dean after that. “Listen because I won’t say this again. I don’t care what crush you have on Louis or what world you think he’d want you in, but _stop_. Leave him alone or I swear, I will keep my word and fucking kill you like I promised that day. Got it? _Stay the fuck away from my boy_.”

Harry stepped back away from Dean and turned to Louis. Louis was the one gaping now, so completely stunned at what just happened that he didn’t quite process what it meant that Harry came out here to defend him. He literally appeared out of thin air, for God’s sake. And he called Louis _his boy._ Harry was here and he didn’t _completely_ hate him. Maybe Harry didn’t hate him at all.

Louis could feel himself having trouble breathing from how nervous he suddenly felt as Harry stepped closer to him, his brows pinched while taking one of Louis’ limp, useless hands into his. “Let’s go upstairs,” he whispered into Louis’ ear. Louis nodded quickly in response, only chancing one glance at Dean to see him stomping away with tight fists. It made Louis smile as he faced forward again and followed Harry up the stairs.

The loud voices and heavy thump of the bass from the music started becoming more and more distant as the two of them walked further down into the dark hallway. By the time they stopped in front of Harry’s door, all Louis could hear was the way his heart was beating loudly against his chest. Harry’s fingers had a firm grip on Louis’ as he unlocked the door with his other hand. Once he got it open, Harry turned to look at Louis, his face still stormy from his interaction with Dean, before gesturing for Louis to go in first.

Louis slowly walked in, looking around the messy room that was only lit up by the small lamp on Liam’s side. The beds were all undone with books and papers strewn about. And for a split second, Louis felt like this was any other day when he’d come to see Harry at this house. Harry’d greet him by opening the door with a sweet kiss and Louis’d walk in and the first thing he’d do was plop down on Harry’s bed face down and be hit with that familiar smell he’d grown so used to. However, when Harry clicked the door shut behind Louis and locked it, Louis was hit with memories from the last time he was there. There was screaming and shouting and crying and Harry was _so mad_. He was on the verge of breaking down everything in the room and Louis wondered what it meant that he was here _now_.

When Louis turned to look at him, he found Harry standing back against the door with his hands behind his back while his eyes shamelessly glided down Louis’ body. He hadn’t looked at Louis like that in so long that seeing him do it now sent a zip of determination and pleasure down Louis’ spine, like he’d almost forgotten how it was to have Harry look at him in that way. Gone was the stormy expression, instead replaced by something more fierce and longing. If Louis hadn’t known Harry as well as he did, he wouldn’t know what to do with the way he was looking at him because Harry was the kind of person that you’d want to impress or grab the attention of. Harry was enticing and so attentive and charming with everything he did. Having his attention made you feel like there was no else like you -- it made you feel special.  

“So...your boy, huh?” Louis asked him feeling a little brave.

Harry’s face twitched into something more confident. “My boy,” he confirmed swiftly without much thought before moving forward to close the space between them. Within seconds they were pressed against each other, Louis’ arms coming around to grip Harry’s broad shoulders while Harry’s looped around his waist. There was only a moment of hesitance where they moved to join their lips together, but paused shaking and breathing heavily before even doing anything. Harry’s forehead was pressed against Louis’ and Louis let out a small noise of protest, wanting to have Harry’s mouth on him already, and Harry must have sensed it because that was when he pressed his lips against Louis’ in a heated kiss.  

It was rough and desperate like they’d been starved of it all this time. Their lips parted instantly, tongues sliding in to have a taste after what felt like ages. Louis didn’t want to stop, even though he could feel Harry pushing him back down on the bed. He kept moving forward to keep Harry’s mouth on his while tangling his fingers in his hair, seeking purchase in holding him however way he could. Harry chuckled against Louis’ lips, finding this humorous, before finally setting Louis down on the bed while hovering over him. Louis frowned at Harry, finding it rather annoying that he found it funny, but he quieted Louis down with another kiss.

This time he didn’t break the kiss, letting it go on despite shuffling around until he was on his side facing Louis, holding himself up by his elbow. His hands cradled the side of Louis’ neck, tracing down his body before resting on his bum. Louis bit down on Harry’s lip in surprise when Harry gave it a squeeze, Louis’ eyes fluttering shut when another wave of arousal hit him. It had been _so long_ since they’d done anything that any sort of attention Harry was giving him was turning him on. Harry’s hands stayed over Louis’ bum for a while, his fingers scratching softly over the flesh under the tight pair of jeans he was wearing.  

When Harry’s hands glided down to the underside of Louis’ thigh, he lifted it up so that Louis’ leg was resting atop his waist. One of his fingers slid back down over Louis’ bum, but stopped to prod where his rim was. Louis let out a soft, keening noise against his mouth at the thought of how close they were. He was about three seconds away from moving up into him, but a part of him also wanted to take this slow. He wanted to kiss Harry for an hour before doing anything else. He wanted to touch him and wanted him to touch Louis for another two hours before they did anything more. And when Harry was finally inside of him, Louis wanted him to stay there for as long as he could -- fuck, forever if he could.

It’s just -- Louis knew Harry doubted how Louis felt for him. He knew Harry thought that he didn’t love him when Louis did so fucking much. And if Louis saying it wouldn’t do it, he could always show him. You didn’t always have to tell people you love them for them to know because it can be done through actions as well. This was the first time since Louis told Harry those three words when Harry wasn’t pushing him away and Louis wasn’t going to let it slip out now.

So, he slowed down the kisses, letting their lips brush against one another more gently. Louis got reacquainted with Harry’s taste like it never left and let Harry’s hands wander wherever they pleased while his hands played with the curls by Harry’s neck and caressed his sharp jaw. Harry also seemed to be enjoying the pace they were going at, not rushing anything he was doing until his hand, which was trailing down Louis’ and over his chest, suddenly stopped.  He broke the kiss softly, breathing heavily while staring down at Louis with dark eyes. His lips were so red and swollen that it only made Louis want to kiss them more until they felt numb. Maybe Harry wanted to get off right then because Louis could feel Harry’s erection rubbing against his own and it was rock hard.

“You’re so fucking hot, Lou,” Harry breathed out, voice raspy and gravelly as his eyes roamed over Louis’ body lying beneath him.

Harry bent his head down before Louis could say something back, peppering soft kisses down Louis’ jaw and to his neck. Louis tilted his head to the side to give Harry more access once he felt Harry bite down, breaking the skin and sucking till it bruised. Meanwhile, Harry’s hands tugged at the hem of Louis’ black t-shirt, trying to pull it up over his head. Only then it got stuck over Louis’ head.

Louis burst out in giggles and Harry let out a soft laugh, too, pulling the shirt over Louis’ head and flinging it off the bed. “Just want you naked already,” Harry said, laughing as he unbuttoned Louis’ jeans and tugged those off as well. Once Louis was down to his black knickers, Harry raised his eyebrows at him, smirking while letting his eyes roam over Louis bare body again. It brought a slight blush on Louis cheeks as he felt them warming up. Louis smiled shyly tugging on the hem of Harry’s shirt. “Take your top off, too.”

“Demanding,” Harry commented teasingly despite listening and tugging on the fabric from his back before pulling it over his head.

“Just a tad bit eager,” he replied honestly.

“Yeah?” Harry asked with a crooked smirk.

Louis nodded his head once, letting Harry lie him down on his back again. Harry swooped down immediately, kissing Louis’ lips for a moment before kissing his neck again. Louis felt him suck another bruise there -- and then again as he trailed kisses down his torso. It wasn’t unlike Harry to leave love bites. He did it quite often, but not this many at once. The foreplay was never this centered around it, but Louis enjoyed how slow they were taking it and if he wanted to mark Louis up, Louis wasn’t going to stop him.

When Harry pulled away from the pink bruise he left on Louis’ collarbone, he stared down at Louis’ chest before meeting his gaze with his forest green eyes. He kissed over the swell of one of Louis’ nipples softly and continued to trail soft, wet kisses all over it until he reached Louis’ other hardened bud and massaged it gently between his teeth. Louis let out soft moans of approval as pleasure shot to the pit of his stomach. Eventually, Harry released it from between his teeth and continued to move down his stomach. Louis let out a soft gasp when Harry bit down on some skin, pulling on his hair as Harry sucked a bruise there, too.

Once Harry was satisfied with the size and depth of it, he licked over it softly before continuing to move down Louis’ body, leaving more soft kisses and hard bruises as he went. It was strange because Harry was never this attentive with love bites, but it was oddly turning Louis on more than it should have. While leaving one below Louis’ navel, he lapped his tongue over Louis’ belly button, making Louis squirm from how ticklish that made him. Harry grinned while moving so he was properly sat between Louis’ legs, spreading them apart and pulling his knickers down his legs.

Louis was so distracted by how sensitive his entire body felt that he didn’t notice when Harry grabbed a bottle of lube, pressing a wet finger over his rim. Louis’ eyes shot open immediately and he almost closed his legs in from surprise, but held himself back last minute as Harry looked up at him through his lashes, his fingers continuing to tease with how gently he was pressing inside. Louis was half aware that he was panting already and probably making some sort of keening, desperate noise, but he couldn’t hear it over Harry’s next few words.

“You’re so fucking hard,” he whispered to Louis. “Dripping so much precome and we haven’t even done anything yet.” Louis let out a choked moan as his head hit back on the pillow, trying to be as quiet as possible while Harry started moving his fingers a bit faster, sliding in a second finger as well. He was baring his weight on one of Louis’ legs so that Louis’d stop squirming while pumping his fingers in and out, loosening Louis up. “Did Dean get you this hard? Did he turn you on like this?”

While Louis hated hearing even the sound of Dean’s name at a time like this, he almost felt like he had to convince Harry how much he didn’t want Dean. Louis wanted Harry to know how kissing Dean and being with him felt so unbelievably wrong because _this_ was right. Everything was right with Harry. When Louis met Harry’s eyes again, he was staring at Louis intently, fingers pumping in and out while he bit down on his lip, his face inches away from where his fingers were. Louis shook his head at him.

“It was never good with Dean,” Louis replied back. “Only ever get like this with you.”

Harry didn’t say anything. He didn’t smile or give Louis any sort of indication as to what was going through his head. What he did instead was look down and flatten his tongue against Louis’ hole, licking a long stripe and pushing another finger inside him. It was almost too much at once because right then one of Harry’s fingers found his prostate and flicked over it, sending, waves of pleasure to Louis’ core while also eating Louis out like he was dying to do it. Louis could feel himself close to coming already having been teased for so long, but he didn’t want it to end that quick.

“‘M gonna come,” Louis mumbled out through harsh breaths and soft moans.

He was hoping it would make Harry slow down, but it only made him speed up. He continued to scissor Louis open while also letting his tongue slide in along with his fingers. _Fuck_. There was a reason why Harry’s mouth was one of Louis’ favorite parts about him and _this_ was one of the reasons. When Harry wouldn’t relent, instead expertly curling his tongue and doing things with it that was making Louis grow warmer and louder every second; he started to let go, not being able to help himself any longer. He came with a slight jolt and his eyes shut tight, body arching up while Harry’s name slipped off his tongue over and over again.

When he opened his eyes again, bleary and a little exhausted albeit sated, he peered down at Harry, who was pressing kisses with wet lips on the inside of Louis’ thighs, sucking another bruise or two. Louis started to string it together after that -- the way Harry defended him downstairs, how he called Louis his boy, brought him up here and marked him up over every inch of his skin while asking him those things about Dean -- Harry was feeling possessive and a bit jealous, too.

He had no reason to be. Absolutely none at all and Louis had no idea how to prove it to him because he was ready to give himself to Harry and Harry only. If only he knew and believed Louis.

“Think you can go again, baby?” Harry asked, leaving an open mouthed kiss on the skin next to Louis’ knee.

His voice snapped Louis out of his thoughts and he ran a hand down Louis’ already aching, exhausted body before nodding, “Yeah.” Louis would probably go another five times if Harry asked him at this point. The gentle kisses and term of endearment didn’t get past him, only made him preen a bit inside.

“Good,” Harry said, getting up onto his knees. Louis watched patiently as Harry tugged off his pants, pulling off his briefs with them and flinging them to the floor of the room carelessly. His long shaft was hard and curved upwards towards his stomach. There was precome dribbling off the top, leaking down and Louis suddenly felt himself more than ready to go again.

Harry hovered over Louis again, giving him a quick open-mouthed kiss on the lips before stroking a hand over his prick and situating himself between Louis’ legs. He leaned down, giving Louis another kiss and a playful bite on his jaw before slowly pushing in. Louis kissed him back, positioning his hips so that Harry could move more easily, and letting out occasional gasps and moans as Harry went in bit by bit. Once he was fully inside, Harry was breathing heavily against Louis’ mouth, rocking his hips tentatively.

“Feels so good,” he mumbled, pulling out a bit more before pushing in again.

“Yeah,” Louis whispered in agreement, letting out a moan when he thrust in a little harder this time around. Harry looked down at Louis, his eyes dark and a bit feral once he started to set a pace. It was quick, hard and on the rough side, which Louis didn’t mind because he was more than halfway to being hard again, but couldn’t help but feel there was a reason behind it.

Harry wasn’t saying anything for a while, just pushing in and out of Louis while occasionally placing kisses across his face or neck. When Harry hit a certain sensitive spot, Louis let out a whimper, which ended up being a lot louder than intended, but only spurred Harry on to make him do it again. He continued to hit that same spot, watching Louis scrunch up his face in pleasure as Harry stared back at him.

“I know how to fuck you, don’t I?” Harry asked him, voice deep and almost a bit angry. “Know how to fuck you better than you’ve ever been fucked by anyone else in your entire life.”

Louis nodded his head quickly, despite frowning at Harry’s words because he wasn’t sure what he was trying to say. What he said wasn’t a lie -- Louis hadn’t ever slept with someone who made him come apart like Harry did. However, neither of them had to say it out loud because they both knew it, anyway. But Harry kept going.

“Do you think Dean can give it to you like this? Do you think he can give you what you need? Think he can fuck you like I can, Lou? Think he can take it from you like I can?”

“No,” Louis said to him, voice loud and clear despite being a little shaky. He pulled Harry down until his face was inches from Louis’, bumping their noses against one another gently in contrast to their hard thrusts. “No one knows me like you -- no one can do it like this, either. It’s only you, Harry. I swear. Only you.”

Their lips met in a heated snog, wet and desperate while Harry continued to move in and out him. The bed started to squeak loudly from the weight of the two of them, intermingling with the noises slipping past their lips. Harry broke the kiss, his head moving to rest in the crook of Louis shoulder while Louis held onto him tightly in a hug.

Something caught Louis’ eye then -- something that he hadn’t noticed when he walked into the room. Harry’s tack board, which held random notes and pictures that he had pinned up on the wall, was still there. When Louis’d first seen it, he’d put a picture of him up there -- and that picture was still there. The sight of it made Louis’ heart seize in a relieving way. Things had gotten so bad between them that he wasn’t sure they’d make it. He wasn’t sure what would happen to them, but seeing that Harry still had a picture of Louis in his room made Louis realize there was still hope.

That Harry might still love him.

Louis closed his eyes, wrapping his arms tightly around Harry as though it would be enough to keep him there. “I’m all yours, Harry,” Louis said to him. “All yours and no one else’s. That won’t change.”

Harry was quiet for a moment, his movements slowing down a bit. Louis was close to wondering whether or not he’d heard Louis, but then Harry rocked down into him quickly again. “All mine,” he said back.

They both came soon after, whispering things to each other while panting. Words like _mine_ and _yours_ were repeated so many times, Louis hoped Harry finally believed him -- that Louis loved him and he definitely wasn’t going anywhere as long as Harry’d have him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ah, so lemme know ur thoughts hahaaa *nervous chuckle* and next update will be next friday :)
> 
> [tumblr](http://softasurcheek.tumblr.com/) / [fic page](http://softasurcheek.tumblr.com/yail) / [chapter post](http://softasurcheek.tumblr.com/post/142085696085/fic-you-are-in-love-author-wildestdreams)  
> 


	25. the one where the school year comes to an end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi everyone! hope you had a good week -- one that was less stressful and frustrating than mine! this chapter is lengthy and loaded with content, but i do have to warn you, it won't be easy. a lot of stuff that was unsaid in the last chapter and the previous ones before that are said in this one. i'm going to be taking a nap as soon as i post this solely bc i'm scared of the reaction this will get. haha.  
>   
> i want to thank everyone who commented and given me any sort of support this past week regarding me posting again. you're all so nice and i am so happy :)) and also thanks to [mac](http://realitybetterthanfiction.tumblr.com/) for being the best beta! :)

Louis woke up jarringly the next morning when he felt something shift by his legs, stumbling over with their own limbs. He peered his bleary, sleepy eyes open to see Harry standing beside the bed and pulling on his boxers. Louis felt confused and scared all of a sudden -- why was he getting up? Where was he going? Louis started to pull himself up to ask, but was only able to sit up on his elbows before he felt his body protesting from how sore and exhausted it was from the night before.

“No, babe, go back to sleep,” Harry whispered to Louis, even though it was just the two of them in the room. “I’m just going for a wee. I’ll be back in a minute.”

Relief spread through Louis and he closed his eyes again, slumping back down on Harry’s pillow and curling up under the covers. The door clicked shut behind him softly and Louis knew he was tired enough to fall asleep again, however, he couldn’t anymore. Memories of last night started coming back to him, waking him up slowly as his eyes started to adjust to the light coming through the blinds of the window.

Dean approaching Louis and the two of them arguing, Harry pulling through and defending him, bringing Louis up to his room, and the _sex_. God, the sex was so good, but a little off putting, too. Louis was so caught up in the moment and desperate for any attention Harry would give him after a long few days without him, he didn’t quite think of what would happen after. He knew that wasn’t smart because it wasn’t like them having sex was going to resolve everything; things weren’t going to be magically okay after all of that. Louis knew they had to talk and discuss what happened. Louis had to know how Harry was feeling about it all now. The sex was -- it was fantastic, but there was definitely something strange about it. Harry wasn’t completely himself and that only further proved _why_ they needed to talk.

Once again, Louis pulled himself up, even if every inch of his body was begging him not to and climbed out of bed, trying to locate something to wear. Eventually, he grabbed a t-shirt from Harry’s dresser and a pair of his boxer briefs as well. Harry walked back in just as Louis’d pulled everything on and ran a hand through his messy hair.

“Hey,” Harry said, closing the door behind him, eyes raking over Louis, standing there in his clothes. That always did get him going when Louis used to do it before, but doing it now, he wondered if he’d unknowingly crossed a boundary. Louis hated this -- hated how unsure he felt around Harry now.

“Hi,” Louis said, starting to feel something odd settle into his stomach. He scratched the back of his neck just to do something with his hands and crossed one leg over the other, not really sure what to do and it seemed Harry didn't either. He was leaning back against the door just like he had last night when they came up here, except it didn’t feel like _this_. Last night felt like hope. Right now, all Louis felt was scared.

And Louis didn’t necessarily have to be scared because Harry wasn’t going to do something like kick him out or anything. He wasn’t mean like that -- he’d _never_ do that to Louis, but Louis didn’t know what was running through Harry’s mind and the silence felt almost suffocating. So much so, that Louis couldn’t bear to just stand there and not say anything, so he finally did.

“Harry…”

He looked up at Louis, his expression calm, but a little troubled. Harry finally stepped away from the door and gestured over to the bed where Louis followed him. They didn’t fall into it like last night, lips and limbs attached. They sat down at opposite ends staring at one another, not sure who should talk first. Not knowing what to do, Louis took to looking at Harry. Proper looking at him because he’d missed doing that so much.

Harry looked like home. He looked familiar and safe and like everything Louis’d ever wanted. Looking at him made Louis realize that he was one person Louis wouldn’t mind looking at for the rest of his life. Sure, Harry’s hair was stringy; wilting on the side from the quiff he had last night. His eyes were sunken with dark circles under them and his lips were chapped, bitten red, but Louis still wanted him as much as he would if Harry looked his best. Harry just looked tired, really, and Louis wished it were as easy as pulling him back into bed and letting him sleep with his head over Louis’ chest while Louis played with his hair. It wasn’t, though, not like it used to be when Louis could do just that if Harry didn’t get enough sleep or was sick.

“Did you sleep well?” Louis asked him then, growing tired of the silence.

Harry shook his head, a small laugh escaping his lips. “Couldn’t sleep at all, to be honest.”

“Why’s that?” Louis asked him softly.

“A lot on my mind. Too much on my mind.”

Louis considered that for a moment and it wasn’t surprising. There was a lot on his mind, too. There were things that they needed to talk about and Louis understood that. “You could tell me -- maybe it’ll help you feel better and relaxed.”

“Kind of have to tell you,” Harry said then with a tired sigh before looking up to meet Louis’ gaze. “We need to talk, Lou.”

“Ye-yeah, I know. I need to talk to you, too, Harry. I just wasn’t sure when to do it...I didn’t want to -- I don’t know -- overwhelm you. I wanted to give you time. I wanted to talk when you were ready.”

“I understand,” he said slowly. “I needed the time, to be honest. I was going to call you, actually, but then I saw you came last night.”

Louis smiled meekly and gave a shrug. “I wasn’t going to, but everyone told me to. I’m glad I did, though. I had fun and -- well it brought me here, didn’t it?”

Harry smiled at him, lips thin and stretched, too, but there was no happiness behind it. It almost looked sad and a little forced -- his dimples didn’t even sink in. “Last night was -- I got a little out of hand.”

“What do you mean?” Louis frowned.

Harry shrugged, running a hand through his hair and licking over his lips. “I just. I wasn’t in the mood to party, so I was sort of running in and out of my room. I went down a total of three times and only stayed for a minute before leaving again. I saw you and I saw that _he_ was bothering you so.”

“I’m glad you did that,” Louis quickly told him. “I’m -- it meant a lot, Harry. He’s a fucking twat. I don’t know why Dean thought he could talk to me or that I’d even be nice to him after everything. I -- I needed you last night and you were there for me.”

“Of course, I was there for you. I’m always going to be here for you.”

Louis tried not to frown at Harry’s words because they were meant to be good, but it felt odd. Everything felt odd and Louis hated it. “So then, what’s on your mind?” he asked Harry.

Harry looked down at his lap, staring at the sheets beneath them instead of Louis. They both knew they had to talk about it, but it didn’t seem like Harry wanted to now, though he said he did. A part of Louis didn’t want to either because he thought things would get better and right now it didn’t feel like it was. It felt weird, but he still wanted to hold on to that thin piece of hope because it was all he had at that point. And if they truly loved each other, then it would work out because love survived everything. That’s what everyone said so it had to be true -- _it had to be._

“I -- I don’t know what to do,” Harry said, his voice barely audible. “I don’t think I can do this.”

Tears started to well up in Louis’ eyes and his lips started to quiver -- what Harry said could have meant _anything_ , but Louis couldn’t help it. There were so many things he wanted to say and ask about _what Harry couldn’t do_ , but he didn’t know where to begin. Louis really wanted to have hope, but the more they talked, the more he felt there wasn’t anymore and he was just kidding himself. Was this it? Was it actually happening?

Harry looked up at Louis then when he noticed Louis wasn’t responding and didn’t look any better once he caught sight of him. “Louis,” he breathed out like he was choking. “I...you have to know that I’m trying to -- fuck, I don’t know. I’m trying... _I tried_ , _but I can’t._ ”

“What?” Louis asked him frantically. “What can’t you do?” He was openly crying by the time he said the last part and Harry’s face crumpled. He started to cry, too, his green, glassy eyes pooling tears of their own.

“I can’t be with you anymore,” Harry replied shakily, turning away from Louis so he wasn’t looking at him any longer. “I’ve thought about it all night and I -- I can’t do it. I can’t do it anymore.”

“Harry,” Louis breathed out shakily, moving closer to him because this couldn’t be happening. They weren’t supposed to end. That couldn’t happen -- that wasn’t what Louis wanted at all. He wanted Harry -- he wanted him to forgive him and find a way to look past this small bump on the road because Louis loved him -- _that had to be enough_. Louis loved him so much and he was the one. _They weren’t meant to be breaking up_.

Harry was visibly shaking by the time Louis got to him, his hands reaching out to take Harry’s, entwining their fingers. “I’m so sorry,” Harry whispered through his tears. “I’m so sorry, Lou. I’m so, so, sorry.”

“Don’t -- don’t say that, please. We can work through this. I promise you we can.”

“We can’t,” he shook his head. “I’ve thought about it for days and a lot last night. I tried so hard to look past everything and give us another chance, but I don’t think I can do this. I’m so sorry.”

“We can,” Louis cried, a bit loudly this time. “We can because I love you, Harry. I love you, so much, _please._ ”

Harry squeezed Louis’ hands, looking at him almost helplessly with red-rimmed eyes. It was the saddest Louis’d ever seen him in the time he’d known him and he just never thought -- he never thought it’d actually come to this. There were times when the idea crossed his mind, but for it to actually happen was a whole other story because Louis wasn’t sure how he was meant to get through it. He couldn’t possibly move on from this. This couldn’t be happening.

“Please, Louis,” Harry breathed out, his thumbs coming up to wipe the tears from Louis’ face. “I don’t want to see you like this. I hate seeing you like this.”

Louis clutched onto his wrists where Harry held his face, not wanting him to let go and continued to cry because he didn’t know what else to do. He didn’t know how else to react or what to say to convince Harry that he was supposed to be the one. Louis wanted to be with him for the rest of his life and he couldn’t believe he ruined it.

“You’re my best friend,” Harry started to say then. “I love you so much, Lou. You’re my best fucking friend and that’s why I can’t do this. I can’t let what happened ruin it because that would ruin me.”

“What do you mean?” Louis asked him frowning. “Ruin what?”

“I can’t let this ruin our friendship,” Harry explained. “I’ve thought about it so much and...I can forgive you for what happened with Dean, but I can’t forget it. I can’t forget the fact that you were with him and especially after our first fight. It got so out of control and everything just fucked up and I can’t forget it. I’ve tried so hard and I tried all of last night, but it scared me. It scared me that if this is how it’s going to be, then I don’t want to let it end up ruining us.”

“But you want to stop being with me. You want to end it. Won’t _that_ ruin us?”

“No,” Harry shook his head. “We’re -- we were friends first, Louis. You mean so much to me and if being in a relationship leads us to getting into fights because we have trust issues, then I’d rather not be in a relationship. I’d rather not risk it if it means we get into fights and I end up resenting you.”

“Trust issues?” Louis frowned. “Harry -- I don’t -- I trust you. I trust you, Harry. I swear that was just -- it was nothing. I didn’t think you actually cheated on me.”

Harry shook his head at that, sad and slow like he knew Louis was bluffing. “If you didn’t think I was cheating on you then you would have never hooked up with Dean. And because of that -- I can’t seem to help but not trust you anymore, either.”

Louis was speechless, trying to find the right words to say and to make Harry believe that they didn’t have any problems because he was that desperate. Harry was right, though. Louis did have doubts and that was why he couldn’t properly confront Harry that day. It was why he tried to avoid his issues by getting drunk and trying to get back at Harry by doing the same. Now because of that, Harry couldn’t trust him anymore. Louis fucked it all up. He fucked everything up.

“This isn’t working,” Harry said to Louis quietly. “This isn’t what love is supposed to be. We’re not supposed to doubt each other or be with other people. These past few weeks have been so hard and it's come to the point where you don’t just make me happy anymore...you make me so sad and angry.”

“Harry,” Louis said again, uselessly. He was still crying, shedding unabashed tears and feeling like there was a huge hole being punched through his chest. It felt hollow and so heavy at the same time that if it wasn’t for the fact that he could hear his heart beating in his ears, then he’d probably think that it wasn’t there at all.

“It’s true,” Harry said, wiping his eyes. “You make me so unbelievably happy, but these past few weeks, I’ve not felt that. I hated the way I behaved the day of the senior cookout...I hated how I was with you because I don’t like making you sad. I don’t want to do that anymore. I don’t want to ruin how I feel about you.”

“Then what did last night mean?” Louis asked him. “Do you regret it?”

“No,” Harry responded fiercely. “No, no. You’re perfect and so amazing and I don’t regret it at all. I thought that it would help me realize things -- that maybe I could remember how it felt before all this, but it didn’t. I got angry and possessive and that’s not right. I felt awful being like that with you and I can’t do that anymore. I can’t feel all these negative things at once and start to resent you for it.”

“I don’t want you to hate me, either. I want to make you happy, Harry. I -- I didn’t want this or any of it to happen. I love you.”

“I really want to believe that,” Harry said through silent sobs. “Because I love you, too, but I can’t forget what happened with Dean. It’s always going to be there like some ugly stain that I’ve tried to somehow remove, but it’s not working.”

“I’ll do anything to make it work, though,” Louis said, practically begging. “You don’t know -- you don’t --.” He could barely speak through his tears because it felt like his throat was sealing up and Harry looked absolutely devastated. Louis’d never thought that after everything they’d been through that it could ever come down to this -- the two of them sobbing on Harry’s bed while he told Louis that even though he loved Louis and Louis loved him, it still wasn’t enough. “You don’t know how much you mean to me, Harry,” Louis was finally able to say. “You’re the best -- best everything. You’re everything.”

“And you’re mine,” Harry said like it was a promise, barely able to speak himself. “That’s why I can’t lose you. I’ve seen my parents fight and they were each other’s best friends and they didn’t make it. I don’t want that to happen with you. I don’t want to make the same mistakes.”

“We don’t have to make the same mistakes,” Louis said to him. “That was _one fight_ \-- couples fight --.”

“-- but like that?” Harry interrupted Louis. “Did you see how out of control it got -- everything that happened after? You know it’s not that easy and I’d rather not risk it.”

Louis slumped back where he was sat, leaning back on the wall and closed his eyes, letting more tears slowly roll down his cheeks. It almost felt like defeat because he didn’t know what else to say to make Harry believe. “I know what you’re saying,” Louis said at last, sighing, “but I don’t want to not be with you -- I’m not done loving you, Harry. You don’t believe me, but I don’t know if I’ll ever be done.”

Harry looked pained, like he was fighting several internal battles within himself. Finally, he gathered himself, moving forward so that he was closer to Louis. “It’s not easy for me and I haven’t stopped loving you, either. I meant it...you mean so much to me and I am so fucking sad. I wanted to work this out, I really did, and I wanted it to be you so badly, Lou.” Harry started to cry really hard again, his breathing coming out shallow and his cheeks turning blotchy red, which only made Louis cry harder because he never wanted that. He never wanted this -- he never wanted to see Harry hurt. “I wanted it to be us forever.”

Louis crumpled into another wave of tears, turning to burrow his face in Harry’s neck. Harry’s arm came to wrap around Louis and pulled him into a proper hug. The two of them drowned in their tears after that; the only sounds that could be heard in that room were their quiet sobs and the _I’m sorry_ ’s spilling out of their mouths.

And the thing was...Louis’d had his heart broken a few times before by several boys, but never had it brought him down like this to the point where he wondered if he’d ever be able to accept it or move on from it. The reason being was because Harry had become so integral to Louis’ everyday life that he’d completely forgotten how life was before without him. Louis’d completely forgotten what to be or what to do without Harry around. Harry’d built himself a home in Louis’ heart and left his fingerprints on every aspect of his life. And one of the worst parts about heartbreak was that you didn’t really know how you felt before it all happened.

When they eventually pulled away, Louis wasn’t sure what to do. His mind was still stuck trying to grasp the fact that Harry and him were broken up. It didn’t make it easier that Harry was sitting right there, looking at Louis with sad eyes, so Louis decided that he needed to go. He would have stayed had the things Louis’d tried to tell Harry convinced him to give him another chance, but they didn’t. Harry’s mind was made up and nothing Louis was going to say would change it nor save them from this fallout.

“I need to go home,” Louis said, rubbing a tired hand across his face. “I -- I have to go.”

Harry nodded a few times quickly, like he was willing to do anything to help Louis. “Yeah, yeah sure. I’ll take you.”

“No,” Louis immediately replied, eyes wide and paranoid. “No, I’ll go.”

“I’m taking you home,” Harry said, eyes pleaded. “Please let me take you home. I can’t let you go alone.”

Louis turned a bit more towards Harry then, reaching his hand out to softly wipe away a tear and caress Harry’s cheek. This was the last time he would touch Harry’s face, sitting in this bed with him after spending the night together, so Louis soaked it all in. The messy sheets, left from their sleep, Harry’s scent potent within the room, and the sight of his red-rimmed eyes, tears staining his skin. Not being able to face him anymore, Louis slowly turned away, getting up off the bed and starting to grab his things.

“Louis,” Harry whispered. “You can’t just go alone. I won’t let you.”

Louis sighed, before saying, “Well, now you have to.”

Harry seemed to be left speechless after that, not able to argue back, and so Louis finished grabbing all his things and quietly walked out of his room. It felt strange to think this would be the very last time. As Louis made his way downstairs, He was only met with silence, except for the sound of running water in the kitchen. Everyone else must still be asleep considering they probably went hard since it was the last proper party of the year.

During the walk home, Louis refrained from breaking into tears in the middle of the street, and composed himself as much as possible. He couldn’t help but wonder what Harry was doing -- what he did when Louis left. Louis believed him when he said that this wasn’t any easier for him. No one ever said it was easy or simple and Louis wasn’t the only one hurting. Harry was trying to work through this just like Louis was because none of them thought it was going to end this way.

At least Louis didn’t. He spent a better part of the year with Harry; going on those coffee runs with him, laughing, smiling and falling in love with him in that passenger seat. It was a shame to think that this was how it was meant to be. Thinking of all that just got Louis crying again and he once again climbed up the stairs of his apartment with tears in his eyes.

By the time he got to the top, he was sobbing again, heaving and choking on tears as he tried to unlock the door, however, it unlocked before he could. El stood on the other side, looking at him with wide, concerned eyes.

“I heard you crying,” she said. “Louis, what happened?”

Louis pulled her into a hug instead of answering, clutching onto her tiny frame because he felt like the air was being ripped out of him. El was alarmed to say the least, continuously asking Louis what happened while rubbing his back and trying to hold him up. The saddest part was, Louis couldn’t even speak because he felt like his throat was closing up and all he could do was cry. And a part of him wondered if the reason he couldn’t actually answer was because he couldn't say it out loud.

El managed to pull him inside, still trying to frantically ask him what had happened, but all he could do was crumple to the ground. El placed herself beside Louis, her arms wrapped tight around him, tears filling her own eyes.

“I thought I was done being hurt like this, El,” Louis whispered to her, voice completely shot. “I thought I wasn’t going to let someone break me like this.”

“What do you mean?” she asked him quietly.

“What always happens,” Louis replied. “Harry doesn’t want to be with me anymore. He ended it with me because he said it wasn’t working out and I should be used to it by now because people are people. And sometimes they change their minds, but it hurts, El. I thought I was done being hurt.”

El looked at Louis for a long moment like she could hardly believe it. “I’m so sorry,” she said, tears flowing down her own cheeks. “I’m so sorry, babe.” She pulled Louis into another hug, rubbing his back to soothe him, whispering things to him to make him feel better, but all Louis could hear was the deafening sound of his beating heart, and wondering how it was still there.

+++

Louis slowly walked out of Huxley Building, taking in the quiet, sunny atmosphere of the campus, after having just taken his last final for the semester -- well, forever, actually. It was strange to think that he wasn’t going to be cramming late night anymore for papers or exams. He was no longer a student, completely done with school and the funniest part was that he was so fucking relieved. Relieved because he’d been waiting for this moment for a long time and it was so anticipated and built up, that now that it was finally here, he felt like he could breathe and just get it over with. However, that same relieved feeling was slightly intermingled with the sinking feeling in his stomach that hadn’t stopped since he’d last spoken with Harry.

They hadn’t talked since Harry’d ended things between them and this time, Louis finally had an answer as to why. Since everything had gone down, Louis’d been living in a constant state of uncertainty. He wasn’t sure where Harry and he stood; he wasn’t sure what to do about graduation and how quickly it was approaching, which was really stressful. Now that everything was done and Louis had answers for it all, he felt relieved, even if he was sad. Being relieved didn’t mean the pain went away and that was to be expected because you didn’t just stop loving someone because the two of you broke up. You continued to love them and you continued to feel empty because they were no longer yours, despite all your expectations.

It wasn’t as easy at first to finally come to terms with that, though. That first day was almost unbearable, where it felt like Louis was waking up from a bad dream, and the following two days, he’d stayed in bed the entire time. He kept thinking about how much he wanted to rewind time and relive everything Harry and he’d done together and all the things they experienced. It had all been going so good that Louis was completely blindsided when it started to go downhill. He would do anything to go back in time and fix all his mistakes. He’d give anything to make Harry stay and kept wondering if there was anything more that he could have said that would erase the memories of what he’d done from Harry’s mind.

It was a constant loop of that for two excruciating days until Louis realized he couldn’t keep doing that anymore. He couldn’t stay in bed and wish that time would turn back around or slow the fuck down because it didn’t work like that. He had to keep going. That was how you moved on -- you kept going.

He got back to revising for his finals and once finals week approached, he took them all in stride, despite how he felt. It almost seemed like he was working on autopilot, only going because he was so determined to not let this tear him down as much as it was. It didn’t matter that his chest felt hollow or that there were nights where he’d cry to the point where he couldn’t breathe because _he had to_. Louis had to learn how to live and accept with how things were between Harry and him -- he had to keep going.

As Louis walked past Queen’s Lawn, heading back home to sleep for a few hours or days -- he hadn’t decided yet, he heard someone shouting his name. Louis peered through the sun and looked around to see who it was only to be met with Niall waving at him. Niall was sprawled out on the grass with his sunglasses on sunbathing with everyone else. For a moment Louis froze, not really sure what he was expected to do because he didn’t want to go over since no one bothered to let him know that they were hanging out. It made sense when Louis spotted Harry sat there, actively trying to not look over at Louis.

Louis had half a mind to keep walking, but he couldn’t ignore them. Maybe he could go over and make an excuse to leave or something. He gathered himself as he walked over, trying to pull it together and hoped he didn’t look as messy as he felt. How many of them knew that they’d broken up? Did they all know? By the time Louis got to them, they all smiled up at him, including Harry, even though his looked a little weak.

“Hey,” El said, gesturing for Louis to sit in the spot next to her. “How was your last final?”

“Good, I think. Feels weird being done,” Louis replied, eventually sitting down.

“Tell me about it,” Liam said. “During my last one, I literally couldn’t find it in me to care and just finished half the exam and left.”

“I did that for one of my finals, too,” Niall said, bumping fists with Liam like it was something to be proud about.

Taylor and El rolled their eyes at the boys, giggling between themselves. Louis gave them a small smile and only then met Harry’s eyes when he spotted Harry looking over at him. Harry looked -- concerned, to say the least, but Louis didn’t want to make it any more than what it had to be. They were friends now -- just friends. It was strange, though, to think that there was a time when the two of them would gravitate to one another no matter where they were. And now there was an awkward strain in the air, like they were strangers again. After all that happened, they were just strangers who shared some intense memories.

“So, what are the plans for tonight?” Niall asked the group at large, breaking Louis’ train of thought.

“Don’t know, yet,” El said. “We have to do something, though, since it’s the last day of school. What about you boys?”

“Senior send off at the frat,” Liam replied. “We’re doing a BBQ and getting a slip and slide. It’s gonna be proper sick.”

“Don’t forget the copious amount of alcohol,” Niall reminded him.

“Can’t forget that,” Zayn laughed. “Gonna be a proper lads night.”

The boys all grinned at each other, fist bumping and yet Louis noticed how Harry’s smile didn’t quite reach his eyes.

+++

  

 

That night, the warm, humid air stuck to their skin as the girls and Louis walked to the campus bar then followed them inside because it was twice as hot in the bar. The place was packed to the brim with students, most likely seniors, who were celebrating the last day of school and finals like them. Everyone’s body heat was meshing together and making it feel almost like a sauna, despite the few fans set up around the place. Nevertheless, El, Dylan, Taylor and Louis pushed through the crowds until they were able to find a small enough space by the bar top to fit the four of them.

Once they each ordered a pint, Taylor turned to look at them with a sad sort of smile on her face. “Guys,” she said. “We’re _graduating_ this week. Like, we’re no longer students.”

“I know,” El said with a little pout. “I can’t believe four years have come and gone and now we’re about to leave. I remember my first day here like it was just the other day -- I remember _Louis’s_ first day like it was _yesterday_.”

Louis laughed softly thinking back to his first week here, too. He moved in before they started term and he remembered being so stressed the entire time while packing and then bringing all his things to El’s place because he didn’t want to forget anything and be unprepared. He remembered the fun fair where they’d met the boys and Taylor. He remembered getting to know them at that first mixer party and finding himself stumbling into Harry’s room with the lights off and having their first proper conversation together by his bay window. He remembered when Harry texted him after Louis tweeted out about his paper asking him to go for coffee with him that very first time.

It really did feel like yesterday. It didn’t feel like days, weeks and months had passed since those moments because it all felt so close -- as though time literally ran out on them. This was initially what Louis wanted. He should be happy, but he found he wasn’t as much as he’d have liked to be.

It just felt like so much had started, grown and then ended within this one year. Louis always said that life threw curveballs at you, because there were a few thrown his way before, but he just thought he’d be prepared or at least aware it was happening. When Louis started going here, he was confident and so sure that he had done all the growing up he needed to -- that he had nothing left to learn because he’d experienced it all. He thought this year would be a breeze, really.

It wasn’t a breeze.

 _Funny_ how that worked.

If someone had told Louis a year ago that he’d end up finding a best mate, who he would end up falling so deeply in love with, only to not have him in the end, then he wasn’t sure he’d believe them. He’d say he was too smart to do things like that anymore -- that it wasn’t him. However, it wasn’t about being smart or cautious or any of that because when it happened it happened. Love never gave you a warning -- it just fucking happened. And there wasn’t a part of Louis that regretted it -- even now when he felt like his heart was sunken to the pit of his stomach permanently. Getting to know Harry and falling in love with him was such a privilege and some of the best days of Louis’ life. Despite how it ended, Louis knew those memories were going to stay with him forever.

Louis used to be naive to think all those things before, but now he knew that when you’re growing up, you’re going to always be learning. It’s never going to stop, even if you’re supposed to be a proper adult and he was never going to have everything totally figured out because he was probably going to be thrown something later in life that changed his perspective. It was both a blessing and a curse about life, Louis supposed. Now the only thing he could do was look forward to the future because Harry broke up with him, and that was okay, because he had to respect what Harry wanted. Louis wasn’t over it yet, nor would he be completely healed for a while, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t accept it. Time wasn’t going to stop just because Louis was so sad and heartbroken. It was going to keep going and they were going to graduate and start a completely new chapter in life. Louis had to be ready and to look forward it all.

Their pints arrived and El picked hers up, raising it in the air. “Here’s to us getting through another year and graduating,” she smiled.

“And to us becoming proper adults, who don’t go to school anymore,” Taylor added.

“Speak for yourself. I’ve still got Law School,” El groaned, making Dylan giggle and kiss her cheek.

Louis smiled at the two fondly before saying, “Here’s to us moving forward.”

The three of them smiled at him and it wasn’t pity in their eyes, despite knowing the context behind his words or the fact that he was hurting inside. It was more like they believed that he could get through it.

“Cheers,” Dylan said to that. The four of them joined their pints together before taking a long sip.

The night sort of went on like that. They got through their pints while remembering random funny moments throughout the year, which actually caused Louis to genuinely laugh. Once the second and third rounds came about, Louis was feeling a lot lighter and better, his laughs getting louder and happier. They saw people they knew from their classes or from parties and they chatted with them. The uncomfortable heat in the room didn’t matter anymore and it was just a really good time -- it felt like the proper way to end off the year.

When they were about to order their fourth round, the doors to the bar opened with loud cheers and shouts following it. Everyone turned to look and make room as the Theta Chi boys marched in, ranging from very drunk to completely plastered.

“I didn’t know they were coming,” Taylor commented, turning to look as well, probably seeking out Ed.

“It was their senior send off day, wasn’t it?” Dylan asked. “I heard after they party at their frat house all day, they do a pub crawl that goes on all night.”

“They’re already so smashed,” El said, finishing her pint. “How much longer can they go?”

It was true. The boys were all red faced and loud, making the bar busier than it already was. Louis tried to not actively seek Harry out like he’d been so used to doing and instead stared down at the bar top. He wasn’t sure what it’d do for his mood if he saw Harry right now. Louis knew the two of them were going to be friends, but this afternoon was hard enough with neither of them talking to each other. He didn’t want to see Harry again so soon -- at least not when it was finally starting to not feel painfully numb or sharp.

Louis turned to the bartender and ordered another round for them, trying to keep the good vibes going and not let himself get upset. However, soon after Ed gravitated towards Taylor, which automatically meant the other boys were close. Louis tried to keep his expression and posture composed, seeming unbothered and unaffected as a head full of chocolate brown curls came into sight.

“Wey hey,” Niall shouted, running over to them.

“Our favorite girls and boy,” Zayn shouted after him. “Didn’t expect to see you lot here.”

“We decided to celebrate, too, and since Barbara and you guys had your Greek life festivities, we decided to hit up the bars,” El told him before wrinkling her nose as Zayn hugged her. “You boys reek.”

“I know,” Zayn replied. “It’s a mixture of alcohol, weed and boy.”

“Thank God I like girls,” Dylan piped up, causing everyone to burst into giggles, especially Harry, who was falling over Liam behind everyone. He looked so out of it, his eyes dilated and dark, while his face was all flushed down to his neck.

It sort of reminded Louis of how drunk Harry was at the senior cookout, but he wasn’t running away this time. They’d talked things out since then, but Harry also wasn’t Louis’ anymore. Things changed so quickly -- _how_ did everything change so quickly? How did they go from being strangers to best friends to friends with benefits to lovers to exes within a year? The thought of it made Louis’ eyes sting with tears and he suddenly felt so unbelievably sad.

Louis didn’t realize that he was staring at Harry until his gaze met Louis’. It was soft and slow, but it snapped Louis out of it right away, prompting him to look away while sipping on his fresh beer. The bar got louder with the boys’ arrival, music playing louder, more conversation around them, but Louis could still hear his heart thumping in his chest.

Even after Louis’d looked away, he could still feel Harry’s eyes on him. Louis could see him push past everyone else to get to where he was, only to stand behind him. Louis’ nose was instantly hit with the smell of weed and vodka and cheap beer; not at all like Harry. A part of him wanted to move away because Harry was so close, his body heat was emanating off of him on to Louis, but another part of him only wanted to push back closer because it was still Harry and Louis still wanted him and loved him.

So, Louis stayed put, mouth drying up despite drinking. Harry wasn’t saying or doing anything -- just standing there, but then Louis felt him move closer until his entire front was pressed up against Louis’ back. Louis’ lips parted softly in surprise as he felt Harry’s arms snake around his waist from behind. His palms splayed out across Louis’ stomach underneath his shirt while he pulled Louis back so that he was leaning his weight on Harry.

“Hi,” Harry whispered in his ear.

It was strange, but so Harry that Louis shouldn’t be surprised. He’d do things like this when they were together, but it didn’t make sense that he was doing it now when he broke up with Louis a few days ago. Was this a part of being _just friends_? Louis was confused and a little drunk. He didn’t respond to Harry, but he also didn’t move away. Instead he focused on everyone else. No one seemed to be noticing them, too absorbed in the conversation they were all having. Maybe they forgot that Harry and Louis weren’t supposed to be this close -- maybe Harry in his drunken state didn’t remember either. Louis almost wanted someone to remind them, but feeling Harry hold him felt like it was more important than facing reality -- like Louis could pretend for a moment that they were still together.

“I’m so fucked up,” Harry whispered against Louis’ ear, lips wet and soft, with a laugh. “Louis, I’m _so fucked up_ and _sad._ I’m not ready to leave.” Louis frowned feeling something heavy come with his words as Harry continued. “Wish it wasn’t ending.”

Louis had no idea what Harry was referring to. He didn’t know if Harry’s words held double meaning, but Louis knew it was bad what Harry was doing. Harry was high and drunk, too, he didn’t know what he was doing, so Louis started to gently pry Harry’s fingers off of him. Harry resisted a little before letting Louis go. Louis only then noticed that El was looking at them with a sort of panicked expression. He returned it and she smiled brightly.

“Hey, Louis,” she said a bit loudly. “Want to go request a song? I know you’re dying to dance to that Ellie Goulding tune.”

Louis nodded his head far too eagerly as she grabbed his hand and led him out of there. He could hear Niall saying, “I’d fuck Ellie Goulding, but don’t tell Barbara I said that,” as they walked out of there. El turned to look at Louis, her brown eyes wide and imploring.

“What happened?” she asked.

“I don’t know,” Louis cried, running a hand through his fringe and feeling frustrated and confused. “He just touched me and he was like hugging me and telling me things. _I don’t know_.”

El looked helpless. “I’m sorry,” she said.

“You didn’t do anything,” he reminded her. “I don’t believe he’s really thinking straight right now.”

“He isn’t,” El agreed. “It’s wrong of him to put you in a position like that. Just -- stay away from him, okay?”

Louis nodded, taking a deep breath. “Yeah, I will.”

El gave Louis a soft smile before pulling him into a bone-crushing hug. “I’m so proud of you. You’re so fucking strong, babe.”

“El,” Louis cooed, his eyes starting to sting again. “I love you.”

“I love you, too. I believe in you so much, Louis. Strongest boy I know.”

Her words did enough to lift Louis up a bit. It felt nice knowing that someone believed in him even when it seemed like he couldn’t because he felt so down. They did end up turning on some music and dancing to it in the cramped, hot space. El was doing her best to get Louis’ mind off of it and he couldn’t be more grateful. The others eventually joined them and it was fun. Harry stayed close, his eyes wavering over to Louis every so often, but not making any effort to do anything more. Louis couldn’t tell if he hated that or appreciated it.

When the air and the heat started to become almost unbearable, they decided to leave. Louis was grinning as they stumbled out of the bar, the night breeze feeling good on their sweaty skin. He ended up having a few more drinks afterwards and there was a nice buzz going on in his body, making him feel really good. Once outside, though, no one made a move to go anywhere. They all sort of just stood around outside, laughing about stupid things.

Louis felt Harry’s eyes on him before he saw him. Harry walked away from Zayn and Liam, finding his way over to Louis, this time standing in front of him as he wrapped an arm around his waist. “Why are you ignoring me?” Harry asked, slurring his words as he buried his face in Louis’ neck.

“I’m not ignoring you,” Louis said confidently, despite the shakiness in his voice.

“You are,” Harry whined, his voice deep and slow. “I know when you’re ignoring me.”

He wasn’t being super serious -- his tone was teasing and light, but there was a trace of actual concern in there, too. Harry’s arms pulled Louis close to him before he started walking them backwards towards the brick wall of the bar.

“Harry -- what are you even do--.”

“You’re ignoring me,” he repeated, head bent so that he could lock their gazes.

Louis stared back at Harry, unable to form a proper response when he was this close. Harry’s hands slowly let his waist go before taking Louis’ hands in his, entwining their fingers, and then raising them over Louis’ head and pinning them against the wall. Harry’s face hovered inches away from Louis’, his hot breath fanning over his lips as he moved to close the distance. Louis half expected him to just kiss him when his eyes fluttered shut, but he didn’t. Harry’s lips ghosted over Louis’, nudging and nuzzling his nose against Louis’ like even he didn’t know what he wanted to do. It was like he was testing not only Louis, but himself, as well, just to see how much they could resist one another -- how far he could go by teasing Louis like this.

“You’re beautiful,” Harry whispered, his wet lips touching Louis’ briefly while his eyes remained shut.

Louis felt like he couldn’t breathe. He was so in love with Harry.

“Harry!” one of the boys shouted. This prompted Harry to slowly open his eyes; his eyes boring into Louis’ before he finally let go of his hands and moved away. It suddenly felt too cold.

Harry made his way back to his friends and Louis could see El staring at him with concern in her eyes, but Louis didn’t see the point. It all felt hopeless. Harry broke up with Louis because he wanted to be friends -- because he thought being together could potentially ruin their friendship and he couldn’t have that. But how do you go back to being just friends when you’ve fallen in love with each other?

The answer was you really couldn’t.

  

   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you guys understand why this happened and why it was important to. maybe a lot of people agree and maybe some won't. but i'm trying to be as realistic as possible. the breakup scene was really difficult to write. a lot of it was taken from my own breakup and i hope it came across as natural as possible. and the last scene was inspired by real life events as well as a lyric in the song "english girls" by the maine ahha.  
>   
> anywho, leave me a comment/message to tell me ur thoughts!!! i'm eager and scared to read them! next update will be friday!  
>   
> [tumblr](http://softasurcheek.tumblr.com/) / [fic page](http://softasurcheek.tumblr.com/yail) / [chapter post](http://softasurcheek.tumblr.com/post/142477840365/fic-you-are-in-love-author-wildestdreams)


	26. the one at graduation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ah, nostalgia gets real with this chapter. it's a pretty big one, but rather short. i hope you guys still enjoy it, though! next few chapters will go back to being long. i just felt like this needed to be just one single event because there's a lot of loaded feelings in it. feelings of nostalgia and sadness and bittersweet happiness. let me know your thoughts!  
>   
> thanks to [mac](http://realitybetterthanfiction.tumblr.com/) as usual for being the best help! :)

There was something bittersweet about waking up on the day of graduation.

Louis was happy and excited, but sad and nostalgic at the same time. He’d looked forward to this day for a long time, even keeping a countdown going on his calendar, and yet he dreaded it for the last couple of weeks. And now it was here -- it was always going to be here, but this was it. It was funny, too, because when you looked forward to something so much and it finally happened -- you weren’t quite sure what to do.

Louis lied in bed for a long time that morning wondering if now was when he was meant to look back at his year and reminisce about everything that happened, but he didn’t quite know where to start. There was _a lot_ to remember when you experienced one of the best years of your life; especially when it felt like it went by too quickly. Every single moment from morning to evening was ingrained into his mind.

The classes, the parties, the coffee runs, the scavenger hunt, the nights in, the nights out, and everything in between. He wondered if back then while he was living through those moments he knew that he was having some of the best times of his life. There was this quote on the very last episode of _The Office_ where the character Andy had said, “I wish there was a way to know that you were in the good old days before you’ve actually left them.” Louis couldn’t agree more.

He also couldn’t help but think about the fact that his life as he knew it these past nine months was going to come to an end after today. They were all going to move out of their flats -- some for good and some temporarily -- to go home before venturing out into the real world. None of Louis’ friends were going to be available within a phone call and they weren’t going to see each other every day. Everyone was going to go off and do their own thing -- find their footing and venture out into new journeys on their own, including Louis.

Graduation was just the first step for all of them on that new journey.

+++

 

Throughout the morning, El and Louis scrambled around their flat, getting dressed for the ceremony while bumping “Long Live” by Saylor Twift on their speakers. Their families arrived a little before noon and it was insane the amount of people that were there. There were Louis’ parents and his four sisters and then there were El’s parents, her brother Andrew, his wife Claire, and their three kids, who were jumping around on both their beds with Louis’ younger sisters no matter how many times everyone told them not to. It was absolute chaos and Louis wasn’t quite sure how to handle the fact that time just never fucking stopped for a moment to let him breathe, especially today.

“I need a fucking drink,” he said, after having ushered one of El’s nephews and his twin sisters out of his room. Lottie and Felicite were sat on his bed and touching up their makeup whilst making pouty faces to test out the new lipstick they’d bought.

“Didn’t someone bring champagne?” Lottie asked Louis, not looking up from her compact mirror.

“I need something stronger,” Louis mumbled, slumping down on his desk chair.

Felicite looked over at Louis then, assessing his state for a moment before turning away. “You’ve been doing alright? Since -- you know...the break up?”

Louis shrugged awkwardly, not knowing how to respond. He had called his mum a few days ago and was chatting with her about finals and what not when she mentioned Harry, asking him how he and Louis were doing. Louis’d told her then that Harry and he’d broken up even though it was hard to think about the fact that this was news he was going to have to break to people. Then his siblings and Dan found out through his mum and it was weird because Louis hardly ever talked about boys to this depth with any of his family members.

“I guess so,” Louis eventually said. “I’m not really sure. I’m just sort of taking every day as it comes. I’ve not really seen him for the past two or three days. Kind of been holed up in the flat. El told me to have a proper wallow session once we were done with finals. She provided me with a supply of my favorite ice cream and made me listen to her Saylor Twift breakup playlist on a loop.”

Lottie laughed at that. “El _would_ do that, but hey, as long as it worked.”

“It was good,” he agreed with a sheepish smile. “Saylor Twift is therapeutic and knows what she’s talking about.”

“Did I hear _Saylor Twift_?” El grinned, walking into Louis’ room with her gown on and everything.

“Louis was telling us about the playlist you made him,” Lottie responded, finally closing her mirror and packing away her makeup.

El’s eyes widened in realization. “Oh, right. The breakup mix. And it helped -- there’s nothing a little Saylor Twift can’t fix.”

“Why are you already dressed in your gown?” Louis asked, instead, changing the topic. “The ceremony isn’t for another two hours.”

“Everyone’s taking pictures out there,” she told him. “They sent me in here to tell you to put on your gown so we can take a few pictures here and then some downstairs and then some on the way and then some at school.”

Louis groaned in a suffering manner, letting his head hit his desk. “I don’t want to graduate. I’m not ready,” he whined, just as the three of them pulled him to his feet.

“Well, ready or not,” El said as they walked out to their families, “We’re graduating today.”

+++

After taking copious amounts of pictures with their families in all different settings while going to school for the ceremony, El and Louis walked to the basement of the stadium, where they were supposed to sit, while everyone else went to the stands to grab a seat. They found the others sat around a deserted hallway, caps and gowns on. Taylor, on the other hand, was out of her gown, having Ed take pictures of her with her hat on. It was oddly cute and made Louis smile as they approached them.

“Hi,” they chorused to the two in greeting.

“Hi,” El said back, while Louis waved lamely.

There was something sad in the air as opposed to the usual fun energy that surrounded them. It seemed like none of them were quite ready for today -- not ready for any of it to be over at all. That was to be expected, though. When you were too busy having a good time, you didn’t really think about the ending no matter how quickly it was all happening. None of them were bouncing off the walls, having the time of their lives like they had been a few nights back. Instead, it felt much more somber and reflective of the finality of it all.

Louis found Harry looking at him as Louis walked over, giving him a soft smile, which Louis returned. He then found a seat beside Zayn, which was directly across from Harry, and tried not to look over at him, but did notice that his phone, which was unlocked, still had that picture of them on it. Louis could tell because the color of Harry’s bright red snapback was visible along with the white t-shirt Louis had been wearing in that picture. He looked away before Harry could catch him and wondered why Harry hadn’t changed it yet. It could be that he didn’t realize it was still a picture of them because often times their phone backgrounds weren’t really something they paid attention to since it was easy to ignore behind all the apps.

Whatever the reason was, it didn’t change their relationship status. They hadn’t exactly spoken since that last night at the bar, but Louis was sure Harry either forgot what happened or didn’t want to acknowledge it because he hadn’t reached out or said anything to Louis since then. There was no answer as to why Harry was trying so hard to be with Louis, touching him and kissing him, when he was the one that ended their relationship. It was confusing and Louis was a little peeved about it, but he still wanted to know how Harry was doing despite all that. He wanted to ask how Harry was feeling -- whether he was excited or sad about today.

Before Louis could pluck up the courage to do so, Zayn slung an arm around Louis, addressing the group at large. “We ready to do this, guys?” he asked with a small smile.

“I think so,” Taylor said, coming over to sit with them, Ed following close behind.

“Besides, regardless of if we’re ready or not, we kind of have to, don’t we?” Ed asked him.  

“That’s true,” Zayn nodded, his smile turning a bit sad. “Feels strange is all. We’re saying goodbye to these halls and the classes and this fucking football field where we destroyed each and every game and getting trashed on weekends and some weekdays, and we’re exchanging it all for actual adult jobs and paying taxes and only meeting every few weeks.”

Fuck. Zayn wasn’t holding back. He was only making Louis sadder and he wondered if anyone else felt the same.

“Aww,” Liam cooed then, grinning at Zayn. “You’ve always had a case of Peter Pan, Z, but never this bad.”

“Shut up,” Zayn whined, embarrassed, despite his grin as Louis smiled and turned in his arms for a hug. He wanted Zayn to know that he wasn’t alone -- it was weird for all of them. It felt good that someone was actually vocalizing what he was too scared to say because most of them did want to leave as Louis did. It was just daunting to think about the fact that the routine they’d become so used to over the last fifteen and sixteen years was going to change into something entirely different. There was nothing wrong with being scared of change.

“You’ve got a point, Z, but doesn’t mean we’ll hate the sudden change or never see each other again. It just won’t be like before...it’ll be an adjustment,” Harry pointed out, speaking up.

“Harry’s right,” El said, agreeing. “We’ll see each other tons. Plus, we still have the summer to look forward to. The future’s bright for all of us, guys, and it’s fucking exciting.”

“That’s sweet, El,” Louis gushed, which she smiled to.

“Yeah,” Niall nodded with a thoughtful look in his eye. “I kind of like that. I mean -- I’m both excited and scared, you know? And while we’re sad, we’re also happy.”

“Of course,” Liam said. “It’s natural to be. I am, too. So, it’s best if we get rid of these nerves together and look forward to everything.”

“What’s everyone’s plans for the summer then? Lay it out,” El asked everyone then.

They went around the group after that, talking about what each of them had going on during the summer. Most of them were going to go back home, but return date was different for everyone. Zayn and Niall were headed back early June along with Barbara. Harry was still undecided. El was coming in late June, same with Liam and Louis. Ed and Taylor were going on a trip with Ed’s family and wouldn’t be back until July.

And then there was Leed’s Festival in August, which they all still wanted to go to. Once they figured out everyone’s plans, Louis felt slightly better. It wasn’t like they wouldn’t be seeing each other at all, but it just wasn’t going to be as frequently as it was all these past few months. And that was fine -- that was a change Louis could slowly get used to. It suddenly wasn’t as scary with the time ticking away on them. He felt more at ease knowing everyone was just as scared, but also excited for what was to come.

When the announcement came for all graduates to start forming a line to walk out to the front, they all got up, quietly.

“Alright, guys,” Niall grinned. “Let’s pull it in. Group hug and then head out there and fuck it up.”

They all laughed before moving into the biggest group hug Louis’d ever been a part of. He let himself melt into it, smiling happily with the comforting arms of the best group of friends he was ever going to have.

+++

The actual graduation ceremony was slightly boring and halfway through, Louis was getting jittery and restless in his seat to just get it over with. There were a few speeches, all super long, but inspirational, and then they called up everyone by their names in alphabetical order. El was the first to go up while Louis was one of the last, the rest of them somewhere in between. After the ceremony ended, they all turned their tassels over to the other side and that was when the crowd went wild. Students and parents were cheering up on their feet, confetti in the air, and Louis couldn’t help the massive grin on his face, either, as he ran over to his family.

They all hugged, everyone congratulating Louis while Dan filmed them on his new iPhone that he was just recently getting the hang of. After the initial round of pictures with them, Louis looked around for his friends, finding Taylor stood with some of the boys and soon joined by the rest. Their families took several photos of them in various poses and expressions before they all dispersed again.

“How’re you feeling?” Dan asked, putting an arm around Louis as they found a shady spot under a tree.

“Good,” Louis replied with a smile. “I think. I don’t know -- it’s kind of crazy. I can’t believe I’m done is all.”

“Well, believe it,” Dan chuckled. “I knew you had it in you. I’m so proud of you, Louis, and I’m sure your mum is more proud.”

“Thanks, Dan,” Louis flushed, moving in to give him a warm hug.

“We’re all proud of you,” mum added, joining in on the hug with his sisters. Louis was laughing, feeling a bit overwhelmed and slightly embarrassed as they pulled away. Lottie then pulled out her phone, dialing a number, excusing herself as she went to go check on the reservations they’d made at a restaurant.

Louis looked around to pass the time, his eyes scanning the crowd and watching as everyone stood with their loved ones, smiling for their pictures. In the midst of the crowd, Louis spotted Harry, not standing too far with his own family. His graduation cap was threatening to fall off his head because of his big, curly hair and it made Louis smile without even realizing it. He thought back to a few months ago when his mum, Dan and Lottie had met up with him and how he wanted Harry to meet them and how much they’d wanted to meet Harry, too. It was upsetting that that never got to happen, but _if_ Harry was Louis’ friend, they should still be able to meet him. This would be the moment -- Harry was here and they were here. It only made sense.

Harry’s eyes soon wandered over to Louis’, smiling as their gazes locked. Louis couldn’t tell if he knew Louis was watching or what, but it made him smile, too. When Harry looked over at Louis’ family beside him, squinting against the sunlight, Louis watched him excuse himself from his parents and walk over to them. Louis couldn’t help the shy grin from spreading over his face, wondering if Harry had mind reading abilities. He was grinning now, too, his gown unzipped and sheer black shirt on display. Louis tried not to let his eyes linger too long on the tattoos on his torso or the abs of his stomach. Now was _not_ the time.

“Hey,” Harry said with a small wave upon approaching them.

“Hi,” Louis said, a shy smile on his face. He was both nervous and giddy. Louis turned over to his family, all of whom were looking at them quite curiously, and introduced Harry, albeit a little awkwardly. “This is Harry. Harry, this is my Mum and Dan. And that’s Lottie, Felicite, Daisy, and Phoebe.”

Harry grinned at them charmingly, his dimples sinking into his cheeks. “Hi. It’s so nice to meet you all,” he said, going around and giving them all a hug as well as a firm handshake to Dan. Louis couldn’t help but notice the way his mum was watching Harry carefully, as though she was assessing him. When Harry turned to look at Louis, his back to his mum, mum discreetly gave Louis a wink. He bit his lip, trying to suppress his laugh.

“Nice to meet you, too,” his mum finally said, smiling warmly at Harry. “Louis’s spoken so much about you...we sort of feel like we know you already.”

Harry laughed shyly, shooting Louis an amused look. “The feeling’s mutual,” he said. “I’m glad I got to finally meet you. I was a bit upset I couldn’t join you at the brunch.”

“No worries,” Lottie smiled. “Thanks for coming over to introduce yourself.”

Harry gave her another polite smile, looking over at Louis for a moment. Dan cleared his throat then, looking at the others. “We’ll let you two talk for a moment,” he said. “I think we see someone we know, so we’ll just go on and say hi to them.”

“Sounds good,” Louis said, watching as his family walked over to El’s family, only to look over at them nosily. Louis rolled his eyes at them before turning back to Harry, who was standing with his hands clasped behind him. “Uh -- thanks for coming over to meet them.”

“I wanted to,” Harry replied. “They’re nice. Wish I could have met them better, but I’ve gotta get going soon.”

“Oh -- uh, where are you going?” Louis asked, curiously.

“Back home,” Harry answered.

Louis frowned in slight confusion. “So soon?”

“Yeah,” he nodded, shrugging with one shoulder. “Mum’s planned a whole party back home and it’s tonight -- so we have to leave right away.”

“Oh...wow,” Louis said, letting out a breathy laugh. “Wow.”

“I know,” he said quietly, licking over his chapped lips. “Urm, I’m not sure when I’ll be back -- I think next month. We -- um.” He let out a nervous laugh. “Keep in touch?”

Louis nodded his head a few times, feeling a lot more awkward and nervous than this called for. They were friends, but why did it feel like they were starting all over? Like they were back to getting to know each other again even though Louis knew everything about Harry from what toothpaste he used to how big his dick was. “Sure, yeah. Text me or something.”

“Will do,” Harry replied with a small smile. “Oh, and congrats, yeah? We finally did it.”

Louis nodded uselessly, his throat feeling tight and his smile not quite meeting his eyes. It just felt weird...everything felt fucking weird because this couldn’t be it -- there was so much more to say, but Louis didn’t know where to start when Harry was standing there looking so perfect and out of reach and his family waiting on him to leave the city for who knows how long.

It all felt off putting and like things were constantly changing between them every single time they spoke. Louis wanted to drag Harry away, take his car and go to that coffee shop and tell Harry what was on his mind because it was always so easy but suddenly it wasn’t anymore. Suddenly, Louis couldn’t do that anymore because they were in this weird limbo between just friends and being in love with each other. Louis fucked it all up and there were so many things he wanted to apologize to Harry for -- all the pain they caused each other and everything that he might have said or done that hurt Harry. Louis wanted to tell Harry all the things he realized over the past days, like how much pressure he put on Harry regarding who Harry was at this school and Louis wanted to say sorry for getting angry at him for that because Harry couldn’t stop it. Louis was so, so sorry.

And Louis wanted to tell Harry that he would always love him because he grew so much with him in this one year than he had with any other boy. Harry helped Louis become who he was today -- had such a big hand in it and Louis wanted him to know that there would be a piece of him in Louis forever. Louis learned so much from and with him -- things that he was going to take with him for as long as he lived. That was something he was truly grateful and happy about. He didn’t know where this life would take them next and how and who they’d be to each other afterwards, but Louis wanted to wish Harry all the luck. He wanted Harry to know that Louis was always going to be a friend despite all of this. And that he hoped no matter where they were, Harry’d never forget everything they experienced together and meant to each other.

Instead, all that came out was a lame laugh and, “yeah, we did it. Congrats to you, too.”

Harry looked at Louis carefully before untangling his hands from behind and moving forward for a hug. Louis met him halfway, but even that felt off and incomplete just like this goodbye. His arms weren’t placed where they were meant to be and Louis arms weren’t hugging him tight enough and it was all _wrong_ and too short _._

Harry cleared his throat, giving Louis one last long look before walking back to his family, who were already on their way out. Louis stood there, watching them go before being bombarded by the loud cheers and hugs as El and his family came walking back over to him with El in tow. Louis found himself pulling on a smile to appease them because everyone was in a good mood and it’d be terrible if he were the only one frowning. He was lucky to have such amazing people around him, but he still couldn’t help feeling like a piece of him left with Harry.

 

+++

 

For the next three days, El and Louis packed away most of their books and clothes, getting ready to head back home. Their apartment was going to be sublet for the month they were going to be gone to a student who was taking summer classes. After that, Louis was still unsure of what he was going to be doing. El was going to University of Law and would need the flat since it was close by. Louis, on the other hand, had to find a job as soon as possible and still didn’t know where to look. He didn’t even want to look at his CV because it was short and would probably get him nowhere, but those were worries for later times. For now, he just wanted to relax and clear his head for the summer.  

Louis spent most of his last day with El walking around campus, instead. They walked by all the bars, talked about all the stupid things that happened over the past year and all the fun times they had. It didn’t really feel like their last time even though it was. And it was strange because that was the only word to describe everything this past week. Really fucking _strange._ Louis was obviously going to miss this campus, all the days spent here, and all the memories made, but he was also going to miss who he was when it all happened. Because not only was he never going to get back those moments again, but he also wasn’t going to go back to who he was then, either.

Things changed and so did you, but life didn’t stop for anybody -- it kept going.

Going home was a whole other strange feeling because when Louis went home, it wasn’t strange at all. Nothing ever changed when he went home -- everything looked the same, felt the same, and even smelled the same. The only thing that changed was him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've got tissues if anyone needs any. lmk. see ya next friday!  
>   
> [tumblr](http://softasurcheek.tumblr.com/) / [fic page](http://softasurcheek.tumblr.com/yail) / [chapter post](http://softasurcheek.tumblr.com/post/142867182865/fic-you-are-in-love-author-wildestdreams)


	27. the one with the seduction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> andddddd, i'm back with the long updates. i hope you guys are ready for the next few chapters because they will be angsty/frustrating/dramatic with a generous sprinkling of romance/smut. all the great things, in my opinion, for a fanfic. just a fair warning though, characters will be messing up. as you know this is a common occurrence in my fics because i believe in testing my characters and trying them. as my beta [mac](http://realitybetterthanfiction.tumblr.com/) said, "relationships are tricky. we don't always make the best choices along the way. but it's the journey that makes us grow and makes us stronger." read at your own caution.  
>   
> ps: a section of this chapter was inspired by "style" by t swift :))))

  

+++

Despite the warm, lovely summer days they had the past few weeks, the day Louis arrived back to his London flat, it was _pouring rain_. It shouldn’t have been that surprising considering it was London and it always rained here, but Louis felt his mood dampening more and more while trying to lug his bags out of his cab and take them up to his flat. His hair was turning wet and matting to his forehead and he packed too much shit, making his bags too heavy to easily carry up the stairs and escape from the rain as quickly as he could. It was tough enough to leave the comfort of his room and his mum’s home, saying goodbye to his family, and come back to the city only to receive this _warm_ welcome.

What made it worse was that the guy they sublet the flat to for the time they were away left the place filthy, so Louis had to clean for the entire rest of the day. Once he was done, he deemed it was only fit that he rewarded himself with a nice, long hot bath and a glass of fresh lemonade while scrolling aimlessly through his phone.

After his bath, Louis got to _actual work_ , the sole reason he came back here -- filling out job applications and sending in his CV to companies who were hiring.

Louis sat outside on the covered balcony with his laptop and takeaway Thai dinner, filling out application after application while the rain came to a slow stop and the pavement gave off a soft glow. Now that he had graduated, his mum wasn’t going to be funding him any longer and was soon going to cut him off financially, so he had to find a job if he didn’t want to be on the streets. Not that El or his mum would let him live on the streets, but it was important that he was doing something and working to provide for himself independently. His mum wasn’t necessarily loaded with money, but she got on well due to her successful business of event planning, and his grandparents (who were loaded) definitely helped out a lot. They paid for his school tuition all these years without any sign of asking for reimbursement. But now, Louis had to get on his own two feet. He hated the thought of staying idle now that he didn’t have something like school keeping him busy. He wanted to keep going and take on the next chapter of his life with positive and active strides.

When the sky darkened and the night breeze got a little chillier, Louis packed away his laptop, cleaned up his empty food containers and headed to bed. It was when he was under the covers, ready to finally go to sleep after a long day, that he got a text from Niall asking to go for drinks the next night. Louis quickly replied a yes and went to sleep.

+++

When Louis arrived to the pub that Niall had texted him to meet him at in Central London, it felt a little off. He was so used to going to the bars and pubs on campus that it was weird to be anywhere else but there. It was a nice place, though. The lights were dimmed low, the music wasn’t too loud and distracting, and there weren’t drunk frat boys dancing to “Trap Queen” whilst shirtless with _dick_ written on their chest with Sharpie. In Louis’ opinion, that already meant the night was off to a good start.

Louis spotted Barbara, Niall, and Zayn by the pool table near the bar and walked over to them. “Hi, guys!” he greeted with a smile. Zayn immediately walked over, hugging him while Niall and Barbara came over after since Niall was pulling the whole _I’ll teach you how to play pool_ method on Barbara and it took longer for them to disentangle from each other.

“Hey, you,” Barbara said, giving him a good, firm squeeze with her arms wrapped around him. “Find your way here okay?”

“I did,” Louis nodded. “Felt a bit weird, though. Almost went to the Imperial bar.”

“I did that the other day,” Zayn laughed, holding his stick steady in his hand as he went in for a shot. “So fucking weird that we won’t be going there anymore. I went to that same bar for four years and now I have to find another regular.”

“What a tragedy,” Barbara said sarcastically. Zayn ended up trying to poke her in the stomach with his stick, but she quickly hid behind Niall.

“How’ve you been?” Niall asked Louis, trying to stand still while Barbara hovered behind him to defend herself from Zayn. “How was summer?”

“Summer was good,” Louis replied, taking a seat beside the bar top. “I slept a lot and spent a ton of time with my family and also extended family. There was a vacation in there as well. Oh -- did I tell you all that my mum is pregnant?”

“Is she really?” Barbara practically screamed, running over to sit beside Louis. “Oh my god, that is so exciting. I’m so happy for her.”

“I am, too!” Louis replied, giddily. “Her and Dan are ecstatic.”

“Tell her congrats on our behalf,” Niall said as he went in to make his move in the game. “When’s the baby due?”

“She’s about six weeks in, so I’d say another seven to eight months.”

“I’m honestly so excited,” Barbara chirped. “I hope the baby is all fat and squishy and so cuddly. I’m definitely going to come over to play whenever it’s born.”

“Did you two and El meet a lot when you went back this summer?” Zayn asked then, coming up to stand in front of them with his back to the pool table. Niall joined him after, the game forgotten for the time being.

Louis shook his head slowly, unsure of how to answer, and looked over at Barbara to see she was contemplating as well. “I mostly spent it with my family -- we went on vacations and what not. El came by a few times to hang out, but her and her parents went on this trip to Greece for a while and then she had other friends to meet up.”

“I have kept in touch with her a bit,” Barbara said. “She’s doing well from what I gathered.”

“How long have you been back in the city?” Louis asked her.

“I’ve been in and out for the past month,” she replied.

“Oh, right,” he remembered. “How is flat hunting going?” Now that Barbara was done with Uni, she needed a new place to stay because she wasn’t going to be living in the sorority house anymore.

“Flat hunting is going, I guess,” Barbara shrugged. “I’ve been going with Niall and we haven’t found anything good yet -- it’s either shabby and ugly or too expensive.”

“I want to make sure she has a good place to say,” Niall tacked on. “A good area, good living conditions, and good roommates if need be. I’d prefer no roommates, actually, but you know -- with expenses and all, it’s a lot.”

Zayn rolled his eyes, smirking mischievously as he said, “You sound more like Barbara’s Mum than her boyfriend.”

Niall scowled at Zayn, making Barbara and Louis laugh as the two bickered. “How about we go grab a booth and order something?” Louis suggested over their loud voices. “I’m fucking starving and I want a drink. All I’ve done today is send my CV to more companies and fill out more bloody job applications, so I need to get drunk or something. It’s so time consuming and annoying. I hate it.”

“Yeah, sure,” Niall said, eventually giving up on his bickering with Zayn and leading them towards the booths.

“Have you heard back from anywhere?” Zayn asked Louis as they walked. “I’ve been looking as well on and off, but haven’t heard back from anyone. I need to soon, though, otherwise I’m fucked.”

“Same,” Louis agreed with him, settling down beside Barbara in their booth. “I’ve just applied so far and hopefully they get back soon. Where’ve you been applying?”

Zayn sat down across from him. “Mostly at galleries, but if that doesn’t work out, I’ve got odd jobs. Like, at Tesco or Sainsburys.” Zayn turned to Niall then, grabbing him by the neck to pull him closer in an affectionate manner. “Tell us about your summer, you Irish twat. What’ve you been up to? Besides being a mother hen to Barbara.”

“Went back to Ireland right after graduation. Stayed there for a bit and got drunk and spent time with the family. And then I came back earlier this month. Just chilling and also applying to places like recording studios and stuff.”

“Recording studios,” Louis exclaimed, eyes wide and bright. “Like with real musicians?”

Niall nodded casually like it wasn’t a big deal. “My degree is for the music field. Haven’t found anything for sound tech yet, mostly internships and assistant jobs, but as long as I can get my foot in, I’m good, you know?”

“Totally get that,” Louis agreed. “That’s how I feel about Information Technology. If I can just set foot into an IT company, I’ll be okay, even if I’m doing business related internships like marketing and social media.”

“Well then, let’s get drinks and cheer to you guys hearing something back soon,” Barbara smiled.

“Hear, hear,” Zayn grinned, standing up to get the first round.

Barbara smiled at Louis before starting to fuss with Niall’s hair, making him smile sheepishly while looking to her for a kiss, so Louis pulled his phone out to keep busy and _not_ look like a third wheel no matter how cute they were.

What he found was a new text message from Harry and while it used to make Louis feel happy back in the day to hear from him, nowadays, it only made a lump lodge in his stomach.

_I kssed a boy I met at mmy mate’s paty tonite_

Louis frowned, trying not to let the ugly feeling that started to form inside of him crawl through and make him react exactly how Harry wanted him to because Louis wouldn’t. He wasn’t going to get jealous nor was he going to get mad. He wasn’t going to feel _anything_ because Harry wasn’t his boyfriend anymore and he was allowed to go and snog whoever he pleased. It had nothing to do with Louis. Louis couldn’t give a fuck if he tried.

But that was all such a bullshit lie because _Louis was jealous_. He was fucking furious and livid not only at the fact that Harry found it necessary to text and let him know that he kissed someone, but that Harry was kissing anyone who wasn’t Louis at all. Louis was mad at him and the boy and at himself for even caring. He gritted his teeth, typing in a response just to see it was read right away and Harry was already typing again.

_that’s great. congratulations!_

_Wht???????_

Louis ignored his last text, locking his phone and practically shoving it in his pocket. Harry was _drunk_ and he was _annoying_. Louis was so done talking to him. Zayn arrived just then, noticing his sudden aggressiveness and let out a low whistle as he put down the pints.

“What’s wrong with you?” Zayn asked, settling back down in his seat and noticing the scowl on Louis’ face. Even Niall and Barbara were looking over at him, having been burst out of their little bubble and surprised by the sudden change of mood.

Louis wasn’t even sure how to describe or tell them about Harry and him because so much had changed since graduation. It was a mess and Louis didn’t even fully understand it himself.

The two of them weren’t really talking, but they weren’t avoiding one another, either. It was mostly just drunk texts and calls like the one he’d just sent. Whenever either of them got drunk this summer for some reason they automatically thought of one each other and maybe it was because they were intoxicated and couldn’t think straight, but it was just confusing. It made Louis happy that they were still thinking of each other, but it didn’t change the fact that they weren’t together anymore. It only made it hurt more because he didn’t know if Harry was still in love with him or if Harry was only going to wake up the morning after and think he made a drunken mistake by reaching out to Louis.

At first, they would only text and that would consist of either gibberish or actual messages, most of which really hurt. Harry would be angry some nights and other nights he’d be sad. There would also be times where Louis’d do the same. He remembered one night, he wasn’t doing as well as he did most days and felt really upset and wanted to wallow, so he grabbed his mum’s wine bottle and drank the whole thing in his room before texting Harry a simple _I miss you._ Harry never responded to it and Louis’d felt so humiliated and angry. Six months ago, Harry couldn’t stay away from him or keep his hands off of him, but now he couldn’t even bother to respond to a lousy text.

What the actual fuck?

But that was how it went and would continue. Harry would text Louis and Louis wouldn’t text him back just to spite him. That would get on Harry’s nerves and he’d send Louis something spiteful in return. It was toxic and terrible and in no way _friendly banter._ Lottie told Louis several times to stop doing whatever they were doing because it was counterproductive to their breakup, so Louis listened. He ignored all of Harry’s texts and wouldn’t pay it any mind until one night when he called Louis up at four in the morning towards the end of May.

“Harry?” Louis had said, groggy and confused as he sat up on his bed, checking the time on his bedside clock.

“Louis, hi,” Harry slurred, the sound of traffic behind him. “Are you sleeping?”

“No, shit,” Louis mumbled, his voice raspy. “What’s wrong? Is everything alright?”

“I -- uh...I just wanted to hear your voice.” There was a pause where they both just sort of didn’t know how to follow up before Harry started talking again. “I was at the bar with a few people -- I’m, uh, back in London for a weekend, but yeah, we were at the bar and there were this guy, yeah? He was talking to me and it felt nice and he was nice...everything was nice. But he didn’t have blue eyes or brown hair.” Harry started to laugh like it was so ridiculous. “It felt wrong -- everything felt wrong because he just -- it wasn’t right at all.”

Louis frowned, not really sure where to go with that. Who the fuck was this guy Harry was talking about? Where in the London was he? “Harry, are you --.”

“I was fucked since this morning, to be honest. Like, when I drove back into the city -- I passed by our coffee shop and it was fucking closed. Can you believe that? They’re never closed and you weren’t here and I’ve been so fucked up. I couldn’t stop thinking about going to that coffee shop that is never closed with you every night and I don’t know what to do -- I really fucking don’t.”

Harry sounded so, so broken. His voice was shaking and Louis couldn’t even begin to understand the enormity of what he was saying to Louis. It was too much all at once at four AM. Instead, Louis tried to comfort him. “I get it,” he said to Harry, softly, after neither of them spoke for a while. Harry was breathing heavily on the other end and Louis could hear the sounds of sirens and cars honking in the background. “I feel fucked up sometimes, too.”

Harry let out a cough, his voice scratchy as he replied. “I just wish you were here right now. I wish you were here so bad, Lou. _Fuck_ \-- am I even allowed to call you that anymore? I can’t believe I can’t call you that anymore.”

“You can,” Louis quickly said. “You -- you can call me that.”

Harry sighed in what sounded like relief and his speech sobered up a little, as though he was more aware of what he was saying. “Sometimes I think I made the right decision with you, but then there are times when I’m not sure. I can never sleep anymore, did you know that? And I can’t look at other people the same way or do anything without thinking of you -- it’s fucked up. I feel like you fucked me up in so many ways -- what you did was fucked up, too.”

Louis scrunched up his face, trying to control himself and not burst into tears, but it was hard with what Harry was saying. He wasn’t prepared for this at all and everything Harry said felt like a knife wound. “I’m sorry, Harry,” Louis replied eventually. “I don’t know what else to say.”

Harry didn’t say anything for a while and Louis wondered if he should have been worried, but then his voice cut through again. “You know my Mum asked me about you a few times when I came back home. She saw you at graduation and told me how cute and handsome she thinks you are.”

“I wish I got to meet her -- properly, I mean.”

“I did want you to meet her at first, but then it felt wrong for some reason. I didn’t want her to think I was fooling around. I introduced her to Xander back when we got super serious because I thought I was going to marry him and well, that didn’t work out. And I don’t know -- I thought we were -- I don’t know if we were going to. We’d say stuff about getting married even before we were together. I don’t know.”

Guilt bloomed inside of Louis and that constant, nagging feeling of _you did this and it’s all your fault_ came back. Louis wondered if it would ever go away because he wasn’t sure if he was going to be able to live with this constant reminder that he was the reason they were like this now. It was Louis’ fault that he lost the greatest boy for a stupid mistake and he knew he was never going to be able to forget either.

“And it’s terrible,” Harry said suddenly, his voice desperate and hysterical. “It’s terrible that I’m even saying this, but you were better than Xander and that’s why I still want you in my life, Louis. It’s why I need you so much. I can’t -- I can’t imagine not talking to you anymore. I don’t want that and I’m scared. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry, Louis.”

“You don’t have to imagine that. It’s okay,” Louis said to him fiercely, wanting so badly to transport himself to wherever Harry was. “I’m here, yeah? I’m here for you always.”

That night ended with Harry and Louis staying on the line until Harry walked home. They only hung up once Harry was in bed and he assured Louis several times that he was fine and to not worry. And now a month later he was apparently better than he was that night because he wasn’t having any trouble looking at other guys and kissing them. It was silly and annoying, to be really fucking honest. This was all just the world’s way of playing some cruel joke on Louis to see how long he could take it before cracking since he’d been holding up this semi fake front that he was fine when he actually wasn’t.

“Does this have to do with Harry?” Niall asked Louis when he noticed he wasn’t responding, snapping him out of his memories of all the drama of the past month. “How are things with him?”

“Things are sort of fucked up,” Louis said slowly with a sarcastic laugh before he began to explain everything. His frustration and confusion regarding the whole thing was creeping out and he wanted their opinion to know whether or not he was justified in being upset.

When Louis was done explaining, the three of them stared at him in silence, mostly from shock or surprise Louis would assume. He couldn’t blame them -- this was all a giant mess and it was getting messier because neither Harry nor Louis could decide what exactly they wanted from each other. Niall was the first to break the silence, giving a brief, amused laugh before sipping his pint.

“What’s funny?” Louis asked him.

He shrugged, humorously. “Just how you two are being. It’s silly -- all these circles you’re running when you’re each other’s lobsters.”

Louis’ eyebrows shot up in confusion at first, but then it started to become a little clear and made sense. Niall was lucky Louis watched _Friends_ a few times over in his life because if he hadn’t, he wouldn’t have gotten his reference. “Did you just use Phoebe’s lobster theory on Harry and I?”

Phoebe’s lobster theory from _Friends_ was that when lobsters mated, their claws were linked together, therefore they were together forever. She had called Ross and Rachel each other's lobsters when they’d broken up saying that they were going to get together no matter what and it turned out to be right. Although, that was a television show and this was real life. Louis highly doubted that would happen for Harry and him at this point, especially not if Harry was going to be kissing other people.  

Barbara and Zayn found it funny, laughing as they shook their heads at Niall in amusement, which Louis guessed it was sort of funny. Niall was grinning, too, but was hearing none of it. “Don’t tell me you don’t agree. I knew from the get go you and Harry had something going on and when you eventually did come through with it, I knew I was right and I’m sure I wasn’t the only one.” He turned to the others and they slowly nodded their heads in a guilty way to agree. Niall turned back to Louis. “You’re each other’s lobsters. You’re going to end up together and I don’t see how playing all these games is necessary.”

“I don’t want to play games,” Louis told him. “I didn’t want to break up at all. That was Harry’s call.”

“So, what are you saying?” Barbara asked him. “Are you still in love with him?”

Louis gulped, looking away from her, not knowing how to answer. It’s just that that wasn’t something he often gave himself a chance to think about. Ever since the breakup, Louis’d been focusing on trying to get his mind off of Harry in every way possible. He spent time with family, old friends, and did things he enjoyed doing. He tried to focus on himself and to an extent it worked because he was a lot happier than he was a month and half ago when he felt like his life was falling apart. Moving on was a process and Louis was making progress, however, there were nights where he couldn’t help but wonder if all these drunk texts and calls meant anything or if they were just hindering Louis from moving forward even more. He didn’t want to completely cut Harry out of his life because they were friends -- they’d discussed and decided on it. Friends who had seen each other naked a few times, which wasn’t really _that_ big of a deal -- _psht_.  

However, Louis didn’t want to be silly and say that keeping in touch with an ex was easy because it wasn’t. Not when there were so many layers to it and it wasn’t a clean, amicable split. There were obviously nights where he wished it wasn’t so and that he could call Harry up because he missed him. Louis could be doing ten things at once and he still wouldn’t be too busy to miss Harry. And those were the nights where he thought about whether any of this was worth it -- being _friends_ and drunk texting each other. Friends didn’t do that shit.

“Your hesitancy to answer is speaking volumes, Louis,” Zayn smirked at him.

“Look,” Louis said, feeling a little defensive. “I don’t know if I do or not. Like, I can’t put all the blame on him because I sent drunk texts, too, whenever I missed him. It isn’t smart at all, but sometimes it’s hard and you can’t help it. Was I upset about the breakup? Yes, of course I was. Am I doing okay on my own, though? Yes I am. Am I still in love with him? I don’t know. I -- I can’t say.”

Zayn looked a little more sympathetic after that, his expression sobering up. “Harry’s being a moron,” he concluded.

“Agreed,” Barbara piped up. “I understand the previous times, I guess, but there’s no reason to text you now and tell you that he’s out snogging other boys.”

“Yeah, but think about why people do stuff like that?” Zayn said. “It happens all the time. I think that people get drunk and they hook up with some random stranger just to prove to themselves that they’re okay and that they are not hurting. They want to prove to themselves that they’re tougher than this. Harry’s probably still got some leftover anger in him from what happened with Dean and he’s dealing with it in a stupid way, yes, but only because he probably doesn’t know what else to do. People do crazy things to distract their heart and to stop missing someone.”

Louis ran his finger up and down the icy condensation on his pint glass. “You think so?”

“I know so,” Zayn confirmed.

Later that night, Louis walked home thinking about what Zayn said. He was right in many ways, however, it still didn’t make it okay for Harry to just text and say that to Louis. He was terrible when he got jealous and this was up there on the scale. Just the thought of someone else getting to touch Harry and put their lips on him, getting to taste him and hold him -- it felt wrong. The whole thought and concept felt wrong and Louis wanted it far from his mind, which then made him start to think whether or not they did more. Harry only said they kissed, but Louis never knew.

His phone buzzed in his pocket and his fingers scrabbled to pull it out because he had a good idea as to who it was.

 

Louis pocketed his phone, not quite sure how to respond just yet or if at all, instead more struck by one of Niall’s comment tonight about Harry being his lobster. It wasn’t like Harry and Louis hadn’t thought of being together for the long run themselves. Louis always wanted Harry to be the one -- and Harry called him his boy for crying out loud. His _only_ boy. If Niall was right, which maybe he was, and Harry and Louis were each other’s lobsters, then maybe Louis could remind Harry of it.

+++

Zayn’s annual massive summer rager was being held early this summer on account of all of them going to Leeds in August when he usually threw his party. When the end of June rolled around and all of their friends were back in town, with the exception of Ed and Taylor, who were on a vacation in the States, Zayn invited everyone over to their flat to start the summer off with a bang. Louis got dressed with a mission in mind for the event and when El saw him walking out of his room all ready to go, her jaw dropped.

Louis smiled at her, trying not to look too pleased with himself. He’d worn a pair of black jeans, the hems rolled up, and a white graphic t-shirt as well as his worn jean jacket. He looked _dressed up_ in a casual sense and he usually didn’t go all out for parties. What made it even dressier was his hair. He’d seen a few beauty videos while back at home with Lottie because she was obsessed with them and she’d tried out this new look on his hair where she gelled it up to make his fringe look like a cinnamon roll. He quite liked it and while it took a little extra effort, he learned how to do it and was hoping it caught a certain someone’s eye.

“You look hot,” El said.

Louis shrugged cockily. “Was going for that.”

She giggled, taking him by the hand, and the two of them headed out. They made their way over to the boys’ flat and Louis tried to ignore the nervous jitters he was feeling in his stomach. Once they walked through the busy door and into the packed flat, he found himself compensating for it by being a little extra chipper than usual, smiling and waving at everyone he knew with more enthusiasm than he was feeling. El and him eventually found some of their friends somewhere in the mix and greeted them with hugs.

As soon as the boys saw Louis, though, specifically Zayn and Niall, they started to catcall playfully. “Damn, Lou,” Zayn whistled while jokingly giving him a slow once over.

“What yo name is?” Niall asked Louis, making him laugh.

“Very funny,” Louis said as they continued to catcall and draw unnecessary attention to him just because he was a _little_ dressed up. Louis just wanted one person’s attention tonight and he’d yet to see him.

“All jokes aside, I like the hair. How you’d do it?” Niall complimented.

“YouTube beauty tutorials,” Louis told them proudly as Zayn poked at his hair.  

Zayn laughed, leaning forward to give Louis another hug. “I’m going to have to try it. Thanks for coming. You too, El.”

“How could we not?” El said. “I feel like we’re back in Uni -- ugh, I’ve missed this.”

“Pretty much,” Niall said. “Mostly our close friends this time, though, rather than come one, come all.”

Louis scanned the crowd, scoping out the familiar faces, until his eyes suddenly landed on Harry. He was stood with Liam off by the kitchen with this thin, white t-shirt on. His hair had gotten much longer, slicked back on his head and wilting off on the side, not quite the quiff it used to be. The two of them were talking and laughing about something -- probably one of Harry’s bad jokes.

When Harry’s eyes met Louis, he realized he was staring rather blatantly and got caught. Immediately a blush formed on his cheeks and warmed up while he quickly turned away and looked back at his friends, who were involved in their own catch up sessions, making it too weird for him to join in. Out of the corner of Louis’ eye he could see Harry and Liam walking over, so he willed himself to be brave and look back. Nothing to be embarrassed about. It was just Harry...good ol’ Harry.

Harry grinned once Louis met his gaze again, his dimples sunk in while he chewed on a piece of gum. “Hey, you,” Harry said, leaning forward to give Louis a hug and practically lifting him up off the ground. “So good to see you.”

“Good to see you, too,” Louis smiled back, taking him in a bit more properly now that he was closer.

He looked really fucking good and life felt really fucking unfair.

And it was also strange how after all this time and all those phone calls and texts; they weren’t acting awkward or weird about it. It seemed at the moment it didn’t matter because when you missed each other that was the most important part. Harry seemed to not be thinking about it if the way his eyes were unabashedly moving up and down Louis’ body was anything to go by.

“You look great,” Harry said when he saw Louis noticing his not so subtle once overs. “I like your hair...and outfit.”

Louis tilted his head to the side, not sure if he should laugh or what. “Thanks,” Louis said, trying to appear nonchalant and confident and cool.

Harry licked his lips, nodding. “It’s, uh, it’s nice. Really hot.”

Louis was just about to reply, moving a little closer to Harry when Liam moved in to give him a hug, interrupting their conversation. Louis narrowed his eyes at Harry as he looked at Louis as innocently as he could with his stupid, attractive, sheepish grin. “Tommo,” Liam said. “Long time no see. How you been?”

“I’ve been good,” Louis replied. “How are you?”

“Great,” he grinned, still holding onto Louis. “Had a sick surfing lesson a few weeks ago.”

“Fuck, I’m so jealous,” Louis exclaimed. “We went on vacation a few weeks ago, too, but I couldn’t do surfing. They had sailing, though, which was sick.”

“Did you get a drink?” Harry asked Louis, clearing his throat, and drawing his attention back to him.

“I didn’t, actually,” Louis said, looking up at Harry through his lashes. “I just got here.”

“I’ll get you one,” Harry offered, taking Louis’ hand without a thought and disentangling him from Liam before leading him towards the kitchen and away from the others. Harry fixed Louis a drink without even having to ask what he wanted because he knew what Louis liked and handed it to him with played up dramatics and a Cheshire cat grin.

The two of them settled in a corner of the kitchen with Harry’s back leaned against the counter while Louis stood in front of him as Harry looked at him unabashedly. He was being so obvious with how he was checking Louis out that it was funny. Well, at least Louis could say his plan worked -- what was that about kissing another guy?

“So, how’ve you been?” Harry asked once he decided that he couldn’t keep staring all night. “I know we’ve spoken, but -- uh.” He laughed nervously as the air between them thickened with memories of all of their previous conversations.

“Good,” Louis said. “Just trying to find a job.”

Harry was just about to say something in response when their friends noisily walked into the kitchen. It was already loud enough with the Nicki Minaj and David Guetta song playing at full volume, but with their screaming, there was no way Harry and Louis were going to be able to actually talk.

“We’re doing shots,” they announced pushing past everyone and dragging Harry and Louis into the group.

After that it was hard to find a solid two minutes alone with Harry. Their friends constantly surrounded them, whether it was taking shots, taking pictures, or just talking and catching up with someone or another. Louis didn’t mind very much because it was fun seeing everyone again -- even Kyle Baker came and they’d chatted for a few minutes when he got Louis a drink -- but Louis couldn’t help but notice how many times Harry tried to get the two of them alone.

Louis knew Harry wasn’t trying to be subtle at all with the way he had his eyes on Louis during the entire party, but his efforts weren’t overlooked either. Louis noticed him constantly hovering in one way or another, trying to talk or lead him away from someone else even though it was failing. And Louis wouldn’t lie and say that he wasn’t enjoying the way Harry was following him around like a little puppy. It was satisfying in the strangest sense. Coming to the party the way Louis did was a technique to garner that sort of attention, so he had wanted it. However, he also expected to see him a lot more rather than be so caught up with everyone else around him.

Halfway through the party, after Louis’d just spoken with one of the girls in Dylan’s old sorority and Kyle Baker again, Harry approached Louis, smiling sheepishly. “This sucks,” he said, once close.

“What does?” Louis asked, casually brushing off some lint on Harry’s shirt. He immediately drew his hand back when he realized how domestic that was. Harry smiled fondly, his eyes following the movement before taking Louis’ wrist and lowering it down and entwining their fingers. Immediately Louis’ stomach started to fill with butterflies.

“We haven’t gotten a chance to talk at all. I don’t even wanna stay, to be honest. Let’s get out of here. Let’s go get coffee.”

Louis blinked in surprise. “Coffee? Really?”

“Yeah, sure, why not? We’ve done it before,” he laughed. “Left a party halfway through to grab a cuppa.”

Harry did have a point and Louis did want to speak to him after all this chasing Louis made him do all night. His idea wasn’t sounding so crazy after all. Louis nodded his head in response at last. “Yeah, let’s go get coffee.”

 

+++

The coffee shop was a lot livelier than Harry and Louis were used to. Since it was a warm, summer night and earlier than when they usually came, the place was buzzing with Uni students who were either doing summer courses at the school or had come back to the city after hols like them. Their laughter and loud conversations trickled in and out of the shop while Harry and Louis sat in a weird, tense silence on the hood of his car.

The entire drive over felt like that and Louis wasn’t quite sure what to say or do especially with Harry not really initiating anything either. He’d catch him looking over at him one too many times for it to be safe considering his eyes were meant to be on the road and not on Louis.

The two of them had gotten their coffees and settled back outside, and it was too quiet for Louis’ liking. It never used to feel like that -- silences were never awkward, but this time it was. “How’s your summer been so far?” Louis asked eventually, turning to look at Harry.

Harry turned to him a bit startled before smiling sheepishly. “It was good. Can’t remember most of it, though. Was plastered, like, every other night.”

“Got a bit wild, huh?” It wasn’t surprising considering how many times Harry’d drunk texted Louis, but he figured he’d indulge him. It was sort of a relief they were actually talking about it even if the details might not be what Louis wanted to hear. He had to suck it up, though, because it wasn’t like either of them were going to be sat at home being celibate the entire time. They were broken up and if Harry wanted to go out to party and sleep with randoms, then fine. Louis didn’t care.

Not one bit.

Yup.

“You could say that,” Harry said. “Not important, though. Wasted most of my days, to be quite honest.”

“At least you had fun, though, right?” Louis asked, not sure if it was good he wasn’t giving Louis details or bad.

Instead of answering, Harry turned the brakes on him. “What about you? What did you do?”

“Relaxed at home a lot. Spent most of my days in the rec room my parents built. I never wanted to leave because there is a built in gym, a shower, and the best couch and theater screen, so I obviously binge watched _Big Brother_.”

“What?” Harry asked, a grin on his face. “Another reality show? You’re insatiable.”

“You know how I love my reality shows,” Louis tutted. “It’s good. You should watch it.”

“Sure,” Harry nodded. “Maybe we could watch together. As long as you don’t spoil the ending for me and tell me who wins.”

“I will do my best. But yeah, other than that we went on a week long family trip to this beach resort in Nice. That was fun, but felt short lived.”

“Nice? As in Nice, France?” Louis nodded his head and Harry let out a low whistle. “Sounds amazing.”

“It was. Only thing was I felt like a fifth wheel with Mum and Dan all loved up with their pregnancy glow. And then Lottie and Fizzy brought their boyfriends, too, so it was literally me with the kids.”

“Right, you mentioned your Mum was pregnant. I wanna see the baby when he or she is born. I fucking _love_ babies.”

Louis laughed, finally taking a sip of his cooled down coffee. “You’re welcome to. I’m sure the baby will love you, too.”

When their coffee cups were empty, the conversation had dwindled and the shop was no longer busy Louis looked over at Harry. They both knew it was time to go. Harry grabbed Louis’ cup from him and trashed it with his before helping Louis off his car, hands coming around to grab his waist. Louis didn’t miss the way Harry’s eyes raked over him once again before letting go.

“Uh -- where do you want me to take you?” Harry asked, clearing his throat as Louis made his way over to the passenger seat.

Louis bit his lip, searching through his head trying to figure out what to do. He could go home, but he wasn’t sure if El was back yet, or he could go with Harry, but that was giving him a clear idea of what Louis was hinting at. The way Harry was looking at Louis, though, eyes earnest and dark, pretty much made the decision for him.

“I think everyone’s still there at the party,” Louis said. “Take me home with you.”

+++

By the time they got back to party, it was nearing four in the morning, which meant the party was only just dying down. The music wasn’t as loud or upbeat, but more chilled out. There were groups of people sitting around and talking, trying to wean off their hangovers. And then there were people passed out here and there, probably blacked out or too tired to make it back home. What made Louis laugh was how trashed the place was. There were cups and bottles strewn about, several stains, a lot of crisps on the ground. Zayn and Liam were not going to be happy about this.

“This is a shit show,” Louis muttered to Harry as they maneuvered their way through the crowd.

“Told you these parties get crazy,” Harry replied. “Zayn’s ragers don’t mess about and it’s usually Liam and Ed who are pissed about it.”

They found their friends in Zayn’s room, camped out on his bed. El made grabby hands once she saw Louis and pulled him into the pig pile that consisted of her, Liam and Zayn. Niall and Barbara were snoozing on a makeshift bed beside them on the floor. “What are you guys doing?” Louis asked, petting Zayn’s hair while El petted his.  

“We smoked something that Zayn brought and it’s insane,” Liam mumbled, his voice thick and slow, much like how Harry sounded like on a daily basis.

“Jesus Christ,” Harry breathed out at that with a chuckle. “You’re all fucked up, aren’t you?”

“Yeah,” Zayn agreed slowly with a giggle.

“Anyway,” Harry said, stretching his arm behind his head and yawning. “I’m going to go to my room. I’ll see you guys later.”

A chorus of bye’s rang through the room, bidding Harry a goodbye, his eyes lingering on Louis for a moment before he walked out. It didn’t take more than ten minutes for Louis to get up as well and pull himself out of the pig pile, his skin itching and feeling antsy. He hated when he felt a way and couldn’t pinpoint what that way was.  

“Do you want to go home?” El asked Louis with wide eyes when he got up.

“Um, sure, I guess,” he said despite the uncertainty being clear in his speech. “We could go, but, um, I’m going to go say bye to Harry.”

“Sure,” El said, nodding her head and completely missing the fact that they just said bye to him. “I’ll wait here, babe.” Her eyes were already drifting shut by the time Louis left.

Louis made his way over to the flat across the hall, slipping in through their door easily because Harry conveniently left the door unlocked. If Louis was basing this night off of signals and signs, then it’d be extremely obvious what Harry was hinting to, but he wanted to keep his options open. Their flat was quiet and a little messy with bags and clothes strewn about since Harry was just moving back. He even spotted some of Barbara’s things here and there.  

Harry’s bedroom door was closed when Louis reached it. He could feel his hands shaking, trying to give himself a split second to think about how bad this was. It was bad from the moment Harry and Louis locked eyes at the party, it got worse when Louis went to coffee with him and let his guard down. Coming here to Harry’s room with the excuse that he came to say bye was the point where he desperately needed a reality check, but he still put up a fist and knocked on the door.

Louis could leave. Louis could literally run and Harry would never know.

“Come in.”

Fuck. Too late now.

Louis slowly opened the door and peeked his head in, finding Harry standing by his bed with nothing but his boxer briefs and stupid, white t-shirt on. He looked at Louis, completely calm and like he was barely surprised that Louis was there, as he made his way inside, gripping onto the door handle just in case. Louis looked around the bedroom, eyes lingering over by the bed and the bay window where he’d spent so much time a mere few months ago. It felt like a lifetime ago now.

Louis turned back to Harry and he looked how Louis felt -- conflicted.

It wasn’t even like Harry’s behavior tonight wasn’t out of the ordinary or surprising. He was naturally super flirty and touchy, so Louis should have expected that given the way he’d come dressed up at the party, he’d pay attention to Louis. It was what he wanted, but he didn’t think about what would come after. During the party, they danced circles around each other, Louis teasing him and making Harry chase after him. Agreeing to go for coffee was stupid, but fine because they’re friends and friends go for coffee. Louis following Harry to his bedroom was plain reckless.

“I just -- um, I came to say bye,” Louis stammered out.

Harry’s frown was barely there, but Louis could see it as Harry walked a little closer until he was standing by the edge of his bed. “You came to say bye? That’s all you came to do?”

Louis nodded his head, trying not to stare as Harry tugged the fabric of his shirt up behind his head and pulled it over his head, looking back at Louis again with his hair wilder than before despite being slicked back.

“Alright,” Harry said, walking towards Louis again until he was so close that Louis could see the speckles of gold in his green eyes as well as the small mole by the corner of his lip. “Bye then.” Louis bit his lip nervously, trying not to let his eyes wander, but he couldn’t help but let it dart down to Harry’s pink lips. And then it only made sense that he started looking at his bare torso, lean muscles and detailed tattoos as well because those were distracting and so hot.

Oh my God. What was Louis doing?

Louis tore his eyes off of Harry’s body and forced himself to meet his eyes, which were looking back at him with a smug expression, and nodded again, uselessly. “Bye.”

“Bye,” Harry repeated with a breathy chuckle before leaning forward, his hand on the wall next to the light switch, effectively blocking Louis’ path to get out. Louis frowned in confusion and then the lights were out and Harry’s lips were on his. He was only taken aback for a moment before he kissed Harry back, tangling his fingers in his hair to pull him closer.  

Louis couldn’t believe he was kissing Harry even though he felt like he had no reason to question it when it felt not only right, but something they’d been working up to all night. It was only a matter of time before one of them cracked and did something about it. And now they had.

Harry backed them away from the door, leading Louis towards his bed while his hands traveled down to Louis’ bum, grabbing and squeezing handfuls as expected. He broke the kiss, grinning at him while pulling him down on his bed with him. “Wanted to do that so bad this entire night, feels so good. Have I told you how amazing you look?”

“Yeah,” Louis replied, adjusting himself on top of Harry and straddling his waist while he laid down on his pillow. “But even if you hadn’t and looks were anything to go by, I’d say it was quite obvious.”

“You did it on purpose,” Harry protested jokingly, his fingers tracing over Louis’ red lips. “You knew you would drive me crazy looking like this.”

“Right...you sound super confident about that. What if I just wanted to look good? Impress some other lads.”

Harry’s grin started to fade into something less smug, more jealous and a little cocky. “Other lads? Sure about that?”

Louis shrugged even though he knew he was bullshitting. Harry didn’t have to know that. “Nothing stopped you from kissing other guys. Nothing should stop me from kissing others, either.”

Harry’s eyes flitted around, searching Louis’ face as he was left speechless, but then he licked his lips and shrugged while running his hands up Louis thighs. “I could kiss a million people, but I still can’t stop thinking about you.”

The two of them stilled their movements for a moment at the honest confession. Harry’s hand then came up to grip Louis’ waist while the other hand pulled Louis’ head down from the back to meet his lips. They kissed softly for a moment and Louis broke away after a while, nuzzling his nose against Harry’s while Harry mouthed at the underside of his jaw.

“Haven’t wanted to fuck or be fucked by anybody else since you, either,” Harry admitted.

“Yeah, well then quit the chit chat and let me fuck you already,” Louis said, sizing him up with a look.

Harry grinned again before kissing Louis feverishly, his hands moving around to tug Louis’ jacket off and pull his top off over his head. His hands expertly undressed Louis without breaking their kiss and by the time Harry got Louis down to his pants. Louis wasted no time, crawling down to leave his hot breath between Harry’s legs, mouthing over the fabric. Harry started to squirm, feeling on edge while looking down at Louis as Louis stared back up at him with hooded eyes. When Louis finally pushed the flat of his tongue down and licked a stripe, wettening the fabric, Harry let out a soft moan.  

“Don’t tease,” he told him. “Just -- just do something, please.”

Louis smirked at him, yanking off Harry’s briefs at last and wrapping his mouth around Harry’s cock. It wasn’t long before Harry was a moaning mess with two of Louis’ fingers and his mouth working expertly on him. It’d been so long since they’d done this that doing it again just reminded Louis how well they did it. There literally wasn’t anyone who made Louis feel as good as Harry did. They knew each other’s bodies better than the other and Louis couldn’t imagine doing this with anyone else. Harry’s hands moved down, trying to reach for something to hold on to other than the sheets because it didn’t feel enough. He settled on grabbing onto Louis’ hair, holding on tightly.

“Feel good?” Louis asked, lifting his head up, and wiping at the precome around his mouth before pushing it back into his mouth and licking it up. He felt his heart stutter at how fucked out and gorgeous Harry looked, his lips wet, swollen and red and eyes dark as ever. Harry nodded his head in response, reaching over to grab Louis by the arm to pull him in for a kiss. Louis deepened it right away, his tongue pushing into Harry’s mouth and swiping against his own tongue, letting Harry taste himself.

While kissing, Harry switched their positions and got on top of Louis again, settling down over his waist. He broke the kiss, pulling away to shift further down, and lightly yanked Louis’ pants off. His dick was already half hard, so he knew it wouldn’t take too long to get him there. Harry wrapped his fingers around Louis’ shaft, stroking a few times before wrapping his lips around the head, teasing him slowly by giving him soft little licks.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Louis groaning out, trying to lie still and not buck up into Harry’s mouth. “Missed this so much, H.”

His words of encouragement seemed to only spur Harry on, his mouth moving down to take Louis in as much as his throat would allow before he could feel his gag reflexes give in. Harry covered whatever he couldn’t get with his hands and it was enough to turn Louis into an incoherent mess. He was panting and letting out soft whines and moans as Harry hummed around his erection, hollowing out his cheeks to take him in some more while lapping his tongue flat against the vein underneath.

“Wa -- wait, Harry, wait,” Louis mumbled out, making Harry pull off suddenly. “C’mere, baby come up.”

Harry let go of his now fully hard shaft; feeling rather accomplished about it, and crawled back up to Louis. He looked so out of it, his hair mussed up and lips bitten raw-- it was one of Louis’ favorite looks on him and one he wished he could see all the time. Harry shifted again and lied down beside Louis, the two of them on their sides, making out again slow yet messily. Louis wanted to slow down the pace because his heart felt like it was going to beat out of his chest. Harry pulled away after a moment, looking Louis in the eyes.

“Are you -- um, are you -- did you do anything with anyone?” Harry asked nervously.

“You mean sleep with anyone?” Louis asked.

Harry nodded, his face scrunching up in distaste at the mere thought. Louis shook his head no. “Did you?”

Harry shook his head as well. “I haven’t, no.” He smiled again, leaning over Louis, and grabbing his bottle of lube and forgoing getting the condom. He handed the bottle to Louis, who snicked it open and spread a generous amount on his fingers before kissing Harry again, spreading his legs open to slide two, then three fingers inside of him. Harry moaned against Louis’ mouth, panting as Louis fucked his fingers in and out of Harry, scissoring him open. When Harry pushed his fingers away, Louis knew he was ready.

He propped himself between Harry’s legs while Harry wrapped them around Louis’ waist, eagerly trying to pull him closer. Louis pumped himself in his hand a few more times while peppering kisses across Harry’s face before positioning himself correctly. Harry’s lips were on Louis’ again as he slowly pushed inside, filling Harry up properly.

Once Louis was completely inside, he continued to kiss Harry like it wasn’t something they’d been doing this entire time, so desperate and needy as though they were trying to make up for the last two months they weren’t together. Harry started to breathe heavily against Louis’ mouth while trying to meet his slow and steady thrusts, hips snapping up every few seconds. Harry broke their kiss then, concentrating more on movement as best as he could and trying to get a good angle.

“Do you miss me?” he asked Louis then, breathlessly.

“Always,” Louis nodded immediately. “You miss me?”

“Yeah -- fuck -- yeah, I do,” he mumbled out before kissing Louis again. “Miss you so much. More than anything.”

The two of them continued to go slow, not wanting to rush anything because it felt like they had so much time even though they both knew that wasn’t true. They kissed for what seemed like hours while their hands got reacquainted with each other’s bodies. Louis stopped thrusting as much and instead let Harry move his hips to meet his in a slow grind. Louis could tell he was close, though, despite the slow rhythm and he scrunched up his face, which for some reason made Harry grind a little quicker.

Louis looked at Harry with a confused expression, not slowing him down. “Faster,” Harry said to him. “You can go faster.”

Louis groaned at that, picking up his pace again, his movements quicker, deeper, and rougher. Once he came, in quick, deep spurts inside of Harry, he slowed down to kiss Harry again while coming down from his high. In midst of making out, he broke the kiss and pulled out of Harry, realizing he hadn’t come yet.

“Wanna come, baby?” he asked.

Harry nodded his head, letting out a moan when he felt Louis’ finger slip inside of him slowly. Louis pumped it in and out before taking it out and licking it between his lips, making Harry curse under his breath. He then lifted Harry up by his hips, draping his legs on either side of his shoulder before moving his face between Harry’s legs.

“Shit,” Harry panted out in surprise. “Fuck -- fuck.”

Louis’ lips relentlessly worked over Harry’s hole, massaging and licking it before pressing his tongue inside of him. Harry soon came with a cry with Louis’ tongue still inside of him, shaking through his orgasm.

“God,” Louis mumbled out as he put Harry’s legs down. “I feel like I just ran a marathon.”

“You’re getting weak,” Harry teased. “You used to be able to do this a few times over.”

“That was after some practice,” Louis reminded him. “Haven’t done this in a while.”

“Lucky for you then because you haven’t lost your touch,” Harry responded, grinning cheekily and bopping Louis. Louis smiled, lying down beside him, and Harry’s arms came around to hold him. He snuggled his face between the crook of Louis’ neck. “Sleepy?”

Louis mumbled out a yes, letting Harry’s familiar smell lull him to sleep while his arms held Louis securely.

+++

Harry and Louis jostled awake when they heard a loud laugh come through the door. Their bleary eyes met for a moment as they started to sit up. Louis felt hot and sweaty and gross. With Harry plastered to his front all night and the warmth from the sun that was streaming in through the curtains of the bay window, the temperature all around felt too hot.

“I’m not helping you clean up, Malik,” Niall’s loud voice said from somewhere behind the door. Since Harry’s room was right beside the living room and kitchen, Louis felt like most mornings they were woken up by Niall’s loud arse voice while he made himself breakfast or something. “Your party, you clean up.”

“I’m promising you fucking dinner, Horan. Your choice,” Zayn screamed back, making Louis scrunch up his nose in frustration. Why were they so loud at arse o'clock in the morning? Louis wanted to run out and tape their mouths shut and crawl back into bed with Harry.

Which -- _oh, shit_.

He turned to look at Harry, finding him looking just as disgruntled as he felt. His brows were scrunched up and his lips were swollen pink in a pout. It was sweet and Louis should have felt fine, but he suddenly felt like he was being transported back to the night they officially broke up. The dread he’d felt, the unease, the uncertainty as to where they stood or what was happening -- it was all coming back because what they did was not good. It wasn’t smart at all because they were essentially broken up. Sleeping together blurred the lines between friendship and relationship and they were done with that so why again?

Crap.

“Hi,” Louis said.

Harry smiled at him, confused. “Hi?”

Louis smiled back and pulled the covers up to his chest. “Sleep well?”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “Till fucking Niall started screaming, of course. I want to go outside and shove something in his mouth to shut him up.”

“Ditto,” Louis laughed, finding it funny how their train of thoughts were so similar. “Urm, so...”

He let his voice trail off, staring at Harry expectantly because he had no idea where to go from there. Harry looked back at Louis, his eyes fully awake now and eyebrows raised in question. This was so weird -- there was no way it was happening. “It’s cool, we don’t have to talk about this,” Harry said eventually.

Louis frowned at him as Harry started to get out from under the covers. “We don’t?”

Harry shook his head, sitting at the edge of his bed, looking around the floor for his pants before giving up when he couldn’t find them and looking back at Louis again. Louis was still frowning at him, not really sure what to say to that. Harry sighed frustratingly slow. “It -- it is what it is, yeah? Talking about it leads to thinking too hard about it when it’s as simple as we just wanted to have sex.”

Louis’ frown deepened, except this time, he felt himself blushing from embarrassment. Was it really that simple? Harry didn’t have to think twice before leading Louis to his bed? Despite the fact that they had a lot of history and were exes, it was that _simple_? It shouldn’t be simple -- it wasn’t like Harry to say it like that, either. Louis was confused and it hurt, but he stayed put because there had to be more to say. It wasn’t _simple_.

“You think so?” he asked him, prodding Harry on.

Harry hummed softly as his hands covered his limp prick before nodding. “The way I see it -- this was a long time coming. You think so, too, don’t you?” Louis nodded slowly, wondering where he was going to go with this. “We’ve tried being apart and it worked fine for the most part except it didn’t get rid of the tension, I guess. This was going to happen one way or another, Louis...we’re just -- we get on well and we have good sex and chemistry. It’d be stupid to deny it just because we’re broken up. And last night we gave in to it...not a big deal.”

“Um, no. It kind of is a big deal. You’re not supposed to fuck your exes no matter how much you think it was _meant to happen_.”

“Look,” Harry said, defensively, probably realizing Louis was right. “I didn’t say this was a good thing. It was a glip, a mistake, I get it.”

“I didn’t say that, though.”

“You’re implying it,” he argued with a frown. “But, I agree, ok? We were dumb and we gave in and all those texts and calls were fucking stupid, too. We were being stubborn and didn’t try hard enough to stop...those were what sort of led to this. And I don’t know -- maybe now that we’ve done it, the tension won’t be there anymore and we can move on.”

Louis sighed, not even sure how to respond to any of that because he hadn’t expected this. However, Louis didn’t know what to expect at all so anything would have been a surprise. It was stupid of him to just follow Harry into his room and throw away what they had spent weeks working on -- moving on from each other. All of that went to shit because of this one night of desperation and now he had to hear it from Harry. For the first time, Louis had no idea where Harry’s head was at or what he was thinking. It felt weird because it didn’t sound like him at all.

Because the way Harry was making it out to be was that he regretted what he did and Louis didn’t want that. He wanted something else entirely -- what that was, he either wasn’t sure or didn’t have the guts to admit it to himself. He’d entered that party with one thing in mind, which was to get Harry’s attention, and he got it. Where it led him was another thing because he knew in the back of his mind, just like Harry, that this was going to eventually happen.

Harry was right in saying that they didn’t try as hard as they could have to give each other proper space and move on while also being friends. Louis knew he didn’t because the entire time he was paranoid that this distance could go two ways depending on Harry. Harry’d either miss Louis or forget him and Louis was terrified of the second one. He didn’t want Harry to forget him so he did what he thought would grab Harry’s attention. Or maybe the biggest thing that threw Louis off was how much Harry kept reminding him that they weren’t together anymore, meaning he still didn’t want Louis back in the way that Louis wanted him to, which was as boyfriends. Harry made it sound like it was all just sexual tension and looking back at last night, Louis couldn’t help but wonder if maybe it was.

Either way, he wasn’t going to sit there and let Harry make him feel embarrassed any longer. Harry had to talk about it whether he wanted to or not.

“So, what?” Louis asked him, determined. “You regret it?”

“I could never regret anything with you, Lou.” Harry paused for a moment, running a hand through his hair. “Do _you_ regret it?”

“I don’t,” Louis said. “I just don’t know what it means.”

“I don’t know, either. It’s okay, though. Doesn’t have to be a big deal.”

 _Doesn’t have to be a big deal._ Harry could keep saying that, but then he countered it with how he didn’t regret it with Louis and that it meant something. It confused Louis because it sounded like _hey, maybe I still love you, but maybe I was just bored_ _because it wasn’t like you were sleeping with anyone else or I was sleeping with anyone else._ It was fucked up and confusing.

“You could have had any other person at the party -- you kissed someone just a few days ago. So why me?”

“I told you how I felt about that,” Harry said. “Were you planning on going home with someone else or something?”

“No,” Louis shook his head, frustrated. “Who would I go home with?” It was annoying that Harry was even asking. When had he ever witnessed Louis trying to pull any wanker from any party? Just because Harry was going around kissing other people didn’t mean Louis was, too, but then again maybe he should start just to get under Harry’s skin.

Harry shrugged lamely. “I don’t know. Kyle Baker was talking to you _and_ he got you a drink, so.”

“Oh, shut the fuck up,” Louis sputtered out, completely exasperated. “I wasn’t ever going to go home with fucking Kyle Baker. I was never interested in him and never will be.”

“I know you weren’t going to go home with him -- I wasn’t going to let that happen.”

Suddenly Louis realized what this all was and gaped at Harry. “Is that why we went on a coffee run?” he asked him, remembering that Harry came up to him as soon as Kyle and a few of his friends left. “You were afraid I was going to go off with Kyle?” The guilt was so transparent on Harry’s face that Louis let out a breathy, unamused laugh. “You’re fucking crazy.”

Without waiting for Harry to say anything else, Louis climbed out of bed, grabbing his clothes and slipping them on. Harry watched Louis, dumbstruck as Louis made his way around his room. After Louis grabbed everything he needed, Harry got up, still naked, though Louis didn’t mind as much as he should have.

“Listen -- are we -- are we okay?” he asked Louis softly. “I don’t want to ruin anything -- I’m -- I’m sorry.”

“No big deal,” Louis said to him. “It is what it is, yeah?”

Harry nodded, though he didn’t seem so sure anymore. Louis gave him a quick, small smile, not quite knowing what else to say before walking out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me know ur thoughts!!!  
>   
> [tumblr](http://softasurcheek.tumblr.com/) / [fic page](http://softasurcheek.tumblr.com/yail) / [chapter post](http://softasurcheek.tumblr.com/post/143228681115/fic-you-are-in-love-author-wildestdreams)


	28. the one with the road trip

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm _really_ sorry about this chapter. it's going to make you both happy and sad at the same time. kind of reminds me of that quote from hp where ron goes "you're going to suffer, but you're going to be happy about it." but honestly, as frustrating as this chapter will be, there will be a form of resolve in the next one. and it's not all bad, this chapter. there's a funny bit where i make a joke about anne and her love of taking pics of harry. :))  
>   
>  and on another note, while the amount of rude comments i've gotten has lessened, i'd like to once again remind people that if you are not enjoying this fic, please don't feel the need to read it. it's only fanfiction. and please don't send me rude comments because i don't owe you anything. there's always been a sense of entitlement within this fandom and people talk to others like they owe them something and that needs to change. in harry's words, "be nice to nice."  
>   
> thanks [mac](http://realitybetterthanfiction.tumblr.com/) for all your help as well!

 

+++

Louis got the call for his first job interview as a postgrad in July.

He was on his way to Ed, Liam and Zayn’ flat with El to meet them for a group dinner because Ed and Taylor were finally back from the States and they were all desperate to see them and hear about all the things they did. The adorable duo wanted to do something low key and stay at home because they were both tired from their travels, so they figured a night in with everyone would be better than meeting at some pub. This was also the first time that Louis was seeing everyone else since the party last month, which was expected because they got so busy despite it being summer hols. They were all traveling in and out of London from home throughout the past two weeks to see their families, trying to find a job, starting jobs and getting settled.

Louis knew Liam was traveling to and from Birmingham to find a flat, as well as some decent roommates, because come September he would be interning at Virgin Atlantic. Barbara was on the same boat, still trying to find a flat that worked for her as well as her budget, while also starting her internship. Niall had gotten a call back from Metropolis, a top recording studio in the UK, and Zayn was getting callbacks left and right from galleries while working on his personal pieces. El was barely ever home because she was always running errands for the law school she chose. And Louis was pretty sure that Harry was on the same boat because he mentioned that, for the one or two times they talked, that he was checking out City Law School.

Which left Louis, scrabbling about to find some sort of balance on how to be an adult because he was doing a terrible job so far. He felt like all he ever did was apply for a thousand jobs a day and then sit about wondering where the fuck he was going in life. It was hard being a twenty two year old who was just starting out on his own and having about ten existential crises a day. On top of that, El had mentioned to him that the lease on their flat needed to be renewed every summer, so they had to decide what they wanted to do this year. It was undecided if Louis was going to be living in London, depending on where he got his job, since he was applying all over the UK and even in Europe. El would have to find another roommate if he had to move.

It was something Louis’d decided when he saw how quick his friends were progressing and he was still struggling. If no one in London needed him, it wouldn’t hurt to find places in other cities that would. He’d also come to realize over the past few weeks that change was inevitable and it was always going to be coming, so he might as well make some decisions that could alter his future rather than letting curveballs be thrown his way. He wanted to do something big -- like a distanced move to change how things were for him because with recent events and his breakup, he was craving something new.

So, when Louis got the call from a company he applied to in Manchester asking for an interview as soon as possible, as in the morning after, he said yes a million times in a rush from excitement, only to realize once he hung up that he had no idea how he was going to get there within this small frame of time. It was foolish of him to agree without thinking through all the things he had to do, like figure out when the first train left for Manchester, how long the commute to the office was, when and what he was going to pack with him and essentials he needed to take such as more copies of his CV, proper business clothes. _Fuck_.

He was a complete ball of stress by the time he and El got to the boys’ flat. Everyone greeted them with hugs and kisses and by God, Ed and Taylor looked so tan and beautiful, glowing from their little vacation. And while Louis was happy to see them, he was anxious and freaking out, biting his nails and zoning out of whatever conversation everyone else was having.

“What’s up, Louis?” Liam asked, having noticed his internal meltdown since arriving. Louis looked at him, like a deer caught in headlights, and noticed that everyone else was staring back as well. He had been so distracted and caught up with the news that he didn’t even notice Harry was sat right across from him, one leg up on the coffee table, staring at him with a concerned expression on his face. Louis couldn’t even remember if they said hello to each other or not.

“Nothing,” he replied finally, tucking in the strands of his hair behind his ear and rubbing his face. “Just got some good news, but I’m a little stressed out is all.”

“What happened?” Taylor asked. “Everything ok?”

“Yeah, he got a job interview! In Manchester!” El announced for Louis, giddily.

The room erupted in cheers, everyone congratulating him and those nearest giving him hugs. Harry didn’t move from his spot, instead offered a small smile from where he was sat, blue snapback on loose and backwards while chewing on gum. He looked like a proper douchebag and Louis wondered why that was so attractive to him at that moment.

“That’s amazing,” Barbara said. “You’ve been dying to hear back from someone and it’s finally happening. No need to stress out. When is it?”

“That’s exactly what I’m stressed about,” Louis explained with a shaky laugh. “I got too excited and sort of told them I’d go tomorrow morning.”

Silence ensued within the room as everyone finally realized why that was bad. Manchester was a good 2-4 hours away even via car or train, so getting there was going to be an issue. “Why would you tell them that?” Zayn asked. “You’re going to be in such a rush.”

“I don’t know,” Louis groaned, throwing his head back on the couch. “I have to prepare everything tonight. My clothes, extra CV’s, tickets -- fuck, I have to get the _first_ train tomorrow and figure out if it’s enough time to get to the interview because I have to get either a bus or a taxi to get to the office. And I also don’t know what I’m going to say when I get there -- interviews are hard, right? They ask _insane_ stuff and expect you to be _perfect_?”

“It depends,” Niall said, laughing at Louis’ hysteria -- the twat. “My interview with Metropolis was super chill and I just wore jeans and my Eagles t-shirt.”

Louis rolled his eyes at that before saying, “Well, I can’t do that for a big shot IT company, now can I?”

Niall snickered unhelpfully and walked to the kitchen with Ed to check on dinner, while everyone else stuck around trying to help Louis figure out his plan. Zayn was on his phone looking up train times to match up with travel time to the office while El and Barbara were mentally checking off the outfits Louis could wear and Taylor and Liam were trying to prep him by asking him interview-esque questions.

Thank God for friends.

It was only Harry who wasn’t really doing anything. He was lounging on the sofa, his arm behind his head, watching them quietly while still chewing on that stupid piece of gum. It was irritating Louis whenever he looked over at him. Harry’s brows were scrunched up in this cute way and his muscles were bulging, so Louis kind of wanted to kiss him while punching him at the same time. Why wasn’t he saying anything? What was he thinking about? Either way, Louis was too busy stressing out to care that much, instead having three different conversations with everyone on what he should do. But then, Zayn broke the news.

“Even if you get the first train to Manchester tomorrow, you’re still going to be late by an hour for your interview because of the bus route you have to take from the train station,” Zayn said, Louis’ face falling at the news. “Unless you take a cab and then --.”

“I’ll drive you,” Harry piped up before Zayn could finish.

Everyone quieted down, turning to look over at him, surprised he was actually speaking for what felt like the first time that night. Harry raised his eyebrows at Louis in question, like he was waiting for a response right away, but Louis was sort of stuck.

“What?” he mumbled out.

“I’ll drive you tomorrow,” Harry said matter of factly. “We’ll get up early and road trip up there and that way you won’t be late.”

This stumped Louis because it kind of felt like a big deal since the gesture was so huge. The trip was four hours and they’d have to get up super early to make it. This was a huge sacrifice and Louis had no idea why Harry wanted to do that for him given the state of their _friendship._ He knew friends did nice things like this for one another, but Harry was his ex and they were still trying to find a line between friends and more than that. However, it was _Harry_ , and he was sweet and kind and despite everything they were still there for each other.

When Harry called Louis at four in the morning because he was feeling lost and needed him, Louis still talked to him, despite not knowing where they stood or the fact that they weren’t doing so well then. They had both cried on each other’s shoulders numerous times, sometimes together and sometimes alone. Whenever Louis snored in bed, Harry wouldn’t get annoyed because Louis wouldn’t get annoyed when Harry drooled on him, so they were even. It could be something as small as that or something as big as driving Louis to Manchester, but Louis started to realize that Harry and he would always be there for each other because they cared about one another.  

“What do you say?” Harry asked again.

“Okay,” Louis said with a soft sigh. “I’ll go with you tomorrow.”

+++

Harry arrived at Louis’ doorstep when the sun was barely trickling up. Louis trudged down his steps and climbed into Harry’s car, throwing a small duffel bag in the back before pulling his feet up despite wearing his dress pants. This was going to be a _long_ ride. Harry eyed Louis warily, looking far better than Louis felt in his black, ripped skinny jeans and flannel that was _barely_ buttoned up. It was unfair that he looked this good at the arse crack of dawn while Louis’ face was puffy and pale from lack of sleep.

“Morning,” Harry said as Louis settled in. “You -- um, you ready? What’s with the bag?”

“Yeah, I’m as ready as I’ll ever be and those are just some extra sets of clothes.”

“Alright,” Harry responded easily as he pulled out of his spot and started driving. “Sounds cool.”

“I just figured if I sat in a car for four hours in my interview clothes then they might get wrinkled. It’s precaution, really. Plus, I couldn’t decide what to wear and got too excited and packed like four different outfits as well as other things I probably won’t need, but figured I might as well. I’m hoping as time goes on it’ll just come to me what I want to wear because I’m not too sold on the one I’m wearing right now.”

Harry chuckled, his dimples sinking in as he gave Louis a smile. “Reasonable.”

They drove in silence for a while, Harry’s iPod playing the newest _Phillip Phillips_ album softly in the background while Louis took cat naps. He felt bad sleeping, though, because it wasn’t fair to Harry who was driving him all the way up to Manchester when he really didn’t have to. Louis should be conversing with him, keeping him company.

“How are you?” Louis asked him with a yawn. “Sleep well?”

Harry shrugged in response. “I slept okay, I suppose -- you know me. Got some coffee, though.” He gestured down to the two cups Louis hadn’t noticed sat in the console behind the gear shift. Fuck, how out of it was he?

“Thank you,” Louis smiled, reaching for his and sipping on it to see it was already cooled down. “That was so nice of you. I really can’t thank you enough for doing all this.”

“It’s fine,” Harry said with a warm smile. “It’s what friends are for -- doing nice things for each other and being there when the other is in need.”

“True,” Louis replied, sipping his coffee. “How’ve you been, though? Ready for law school at all?”

Harry shook his head with a shaky laugh. “Barely. Right now, I’m dreading it, but I know further down the line when summer’s ending and I’ve done nothing but party the entire time, I’ll be excited.”

“I’m sure you will be. Two more years and you’ll be proper professional.”

“We’ll see if I can pass first,” Harry snorted. “I went by the Uni a few times and it was intimidating. Everyone was dressed in dress pants; button ups that were tucked in and I had rolled up in my ripped jeans and Theta Chi t-shirt. It was terrible.”

Louis burst out laughing, practically spitting out his coffee at the image of Harry showing up in that attire in front his future law school classmates. “That’s amazing,” he wheezed out. “You would.”

Harry smiled sheepishly with a shrug. “I know better than to do that again. What about you? Excited about this interview?”

“I am, yeah,” Louis nodded. “It’s my first one and it’s a really huge company, so, I’m hoping to go there and charm their pants off.”

“I’m sure you will. You’re charming _as fuck_.”

“Thank you, thank you. I try my best...learned a bit from the master himself.”

“The master?” Harry laughed.

“You, of course.”

“Aw shucks,” Harry swatted at him bashfully in a dramatic manner and making Louis giggle. “That’s sweet, but no doubt you’ll charm them by just being yourself. You’ll do amazing, Lou.”

“Thank you.” Louis smiled at him, catching his eye briefly before he turned to face the road again. It felt nice to be talking like this again, like old days when things weren’t as hard and Louis wondered if they were finally doing it right this time around rather than whatever they did before these past two months. May was extremely difficult to get through and June was a disaster now that Louis looked back at it, but maybe July could be better.

“So, does this mean you’ll be moving out here?” Harry asked after some time.

“I’m not sure. Maybe -- we might have to move anyway because the lease for our flat is up. It might end up happening that if I get this job, I will move out to Manchester and El would have to make a decision for herself. We’re really not sure of what’s going to happen.”

Harry was quiet for a moment, adding a slight pause in the conversation before speaking again. “Does that make you nervous? I mean...moving away from all your friends and family?”

“It is nerve-wrecking, but I think I’m ready for some change. Might be good for me because London is starting to feel a little old.”

He didn’t want to mention the fact that a big chunk of it might have to do with their breakup, but it was mostly because Louis didn’t want to admit it to himself despite how true it was. When you go through a lot of pain, whether it be heartbreak or a series of bad luck, you automatically want to remove yourself from the place where the pain came from. London was his place with Harry -- they spent so much time in every corner of it for the past year that he felt like he couldn’t properly heal if he stayed here. Most days, Louis put on a brave face because that was who he was. However, he still had his days.

Harry grew quiet again after what Louis said and Louis didn’t add on anything else, instead finding himself slowly falling asleep again.

+++

Louis walked out of his interview feeling absolutely elated and relieved, like he was on cloud fucking nine and could do anything and everything at that moment. The past twenty four hours was above and beyond stressful added on with a bundle of nerves, but now that it was done and over with, he felt great. The interview itself was perfect. He arrived perfectly on time, thanks to Harry, and charmed the pants off of them just like he wanted.

When Louis walked out of the building, he was grinning wide while making his way over to where Harry was parked, sitting on the hood of his car and scrolling through his phone. He looked up when he heard Louis’ footsteps and gave him a silly wave.

“Alright?” Louis asked, once he walked over and stood in front of Harry.

“I’m alright,” Harry nodded with a smile. “How was the interview? Did you kill it or what?”

“I think I killed it,” Louis nodded with a happy, giddy giggle. “They were really nice -- offered me tea when I walked in and showed me around -- the office is so _pretty_ , Harry. I was _dying_. And everyone there was just super cool and I could totally see myself fitting in here.”

“That’s great,” he chuckled, patting the spot next to him for Louis to sit. Louis pulled himself up carefully as he didn’t want to rip his trousers, Harry offering his hand to help. When they had stopped at a service station during the trip to get more gas, coffee, and food, Louis made a quick run to the bathroom to change into another outfit. HIs dress pants had not only wrinkled from his nap, but he got cream cheese on his shirt, so he changed into a much more snug pair of dress pants and a crisp white button up with a blazer on top.

Simple, but classic. Although, Harry did say Louis looked sexy, so he couldn’t tell if it was professional or not because _sexy_ was never the word to describe someone who was trying to dress for an interview. Harry tried to reassure Louis by saying it was more of a sexy CEO look, but he wasn’t sure if he completely trusted Harry on that. Good ego boost, though.

“It was great,” Louis agreed with Harry, not able to wipe the beam off his face. “They asked me a ton of great questions that I was able to answer and said they were really happy they got to meet me. One of them even told me I’m a shoe in and that they’ll call me again later for another follow up.”

“Look at you,” Harry poked teasingly. “Being an adult and doing interviews and getting along with all the people in the office. Proud of you, Tommo.”

“Thank you,” Louis said, letting his voice trail off as the two of them quieted down. He looked over at Harry. “So, back home? We have to grab a bite on the way, though, because I’m starving.”

“Actually,” Harry said, running a hand through his hair and looking a bit nervous. “You might hate me for this, but I picked up a call from my mum a little while ago when I was waiting for you and she wants us to go home to her for tonight -- and well -- I mean we are a bit tired, aren’t we? We could go over and she could give us some homemade food, we’ll sleep and head out early tomorrow for London.”

“You live close by?” Louis asked him, surprised by the turn of events.

Harry nodded. “About twenty miles north from here. So, what do you say? I know it’s a lot to ask, but I didn’t know how to say no after she asked for the fifth time.”

Louis pressed his lips together, not knowing what to say, really. Meeting Harry’s parents was a really big deal and he felt like one big accomplishment a day was enough; he didn’t really want another one. However, there was no way he could say no when Harry was asking so nicely and was looking at him the way he was currently -- all doe green eyes and pouty pink lips. They had always talked about Louis visiting Harry’s town and his childhood home...he just didn’t think it’d happen now that they’d broken up. Guess he was wrong.

“It’s fine,” Louis assured Harry, smiling at him. “We can stay the night at your parents. I feel like it’s the least I owe you after all that you did for me today.”

Harry smiled gratefully. “You don’t owe me anything, Louis. I’m glad I could help you, but yeah, I wouldn’t wanna turn around when I’m so close to home. Last time I was there was before the party back in June, so I think a drop by wouldn’t hurt.”

“Let’s head on out then. I’m starved,” he said, getting back onto his feet and walking to the passenger seat.

“That’s good,” Harry said excitedly, following Louis and going to the driver's seat. “Mum’s made her chicken pot pie and that shit is amazing. I’m drooling just thinking about it.”

“At least you’re drooling while you’re awake and not when you’re asleep like you usually do.”

“Fuck you.”

+++

 

Holmes Chapel was exactly how Harry described it -- _quite picturesque._ It was a small town filled with narrow streets and lots of meadows, exactly like how a small village up in the north of England would look. When Harry pulled in front of his house, they climbed out of the car and walked up the front steps, ringing the bell. Anne opened the door right away, a smile on her lips as she hugged them and led them inside.

“Come in, come in,” she said. “How are you both? Tired?”

“A bit, yeah,” Harry replied, giving a dramatic yawn and running a hand through his hair.

Anne smiled at him fondly, hugging him around the waist again and not letting go before turning to look at Louis. Instantly, he knew he made the right decision to come because they both looked genuinely happy and Louis was glad he was able to see it and let that happen. “How was your interview, Louis? Did you do well?”

“I think so,” Louis nodded with a smile. “It was good -- hoping to hear back from them soon.”

“That’s amazing. I do wish you the best of luck and want to say thank you for coming over.”

“Thank you for having me,” he replied. “This was so nice of you and in such short notice at that.”

“Of course,” Anne said, messing about with Harry’s hair while he resisted. “Couldn’t send you lot back when you came all the way. I’ve got lunch ready for you both. You can take a nap afterwards if you’d like. Harry mentioned it was an early trip, so you both must be tired.”

“Sounds neat,” Harry said. “When’s Robin coming home?”

“In a few hours,” Anne said. “Busy day at work. He’ll be joining us for dinner, though, we’re making roast.”

“My favorite,” Harry smiled, giving her a thumbs up.

Anne noticed Louis’ small duffel bag then and turned back to Harry. “Why don’t you go put Louis’s things in Gem’s room? He’ll be staying there tonight.”

“On it,” Harry saluted, picking up Louis’ bag and running up the stairs, leaving Louis with Anne.

“We’ll head on to the kitchen, yeah?” she smiled.

Louis nodded and followed her through the living room and dining room, only to slow down once he got a look at all the pictures they had hanging on the walls and in frames, placed over mantels. The kitchen was adjacent to the dining and living rooms, so while Anne went to get plates and utensils, he took a look at all their pictures. There were family portraits, lots of events like graduations, weddings, birthdays, and _a lot_ of baby pictures. Some of them were of Gemma, but many of Harry, too.

Harry was as cheeky as a baby as he was now. He was smiling in every picture, throwing in winks and dorky thumbs up in some of them. There were pictures of him dressed as a pirate for his birthday, others from school, playing with his toys on a small, twin sized bed, and even one where he was wearing a large bra over his shirt and putting up a fist. The last one made him laugh. It was strange looking at someone’s baby pictures because you could see that so much has changed, obviously, but a lot was similar. Harry smiled the same Cheshire cat smile, his eyes were just as big and green, and many of his mannerisms were still the same. It was so endearing that Louis couldn’t look away, continuing to gaze at every last picture until he memorized them into his brain.

“He was the most precious baby,” Anne said, catching Louis staring and snapping him out of his daze.

“Looks like it,” Louis said, moving over to help her set the table.

“Always a good boy -- never disobeyed me or gave me a hard time. Got on with his sister really well and sang along to every last one of her latest boy band obsessions and the _Spice Girls_.”

Louis smiled, feeling even more endeared than before. He couldn’t tell if it was weird that he wanted to go back in time and meet Harry when they were younger just so he could see how Harry was then. Louis weirdly felt jealous of anyone who’d met Harry before him, anyone who got to experience how he was at every stage in his life because he was sure Harry was as amazing as he was now.

Anne and Louis finished setting up the table, brought out some soft drinks and then the chicken pot pie she had prepared from before. It smelled so delicious that Louis couldn’t help but sneak small bites since Harry was taking forever upstairs. By the time he got down, Louis noticed he had changed out of his clothes and had freshened up with a shower. Louis narrowed his eyes at him and Harry caught his look, smiling sheepishly.

“Sorry,” he said. “Couldn’t help myself. Felt rather icky after all the service stop wee breaks. You can go ahead and freshen up, too. I left your things in Gem’s room.”

“It’s fine,” Louis replied. “I’ll do it afterwards. I’m ready to eat.”

“Same,” Harry agreed, sitting down in his place.

The three of them began eating and Anne asked them several questions about summer, London, and their friends. It was during one of Harry’s slow monologue stories about some floral shirt he bought from YSL that Louis noticed a picture on the wall of Harry in a footie uniform. Louis couldn’t help the smile that spread on his face and Anne noticed it, following his eyesight.

“Harry was on the footie team all throughout his primary and secondary years,” she told Louis proudly. “He never gave up and was so dedicated, weren’t you, Harry?”

“Mum,” Harry whined, despite his smile. “I should have told you to hide the pictures.” His eyes flitted around the room as he noticed just how many there were, cheeks turning a bright red and making Louis laugh. He turned to look at Louis with an unamused expression. “Not funny. I’m going to your house next to look at all your embarrassing baby pictures.”

“Your pictures aren’t embarrassing,” Louis insisted. “You were very cute as a baby.”

Harry smirked at him, teasingly, while nodding his head with a knowing look, almost like he was _too_ pleased with the compliment and being a bit flirtatious. So, then Louis started blushing, the warmth from his cheeks spreading to the tip of his nose. He rolled his eyes at Harry, making Harry chuckle, before concentrating on finishing his lunch. Once the three of them were done eating, Harry and Louis helped Anne clean everything up before going upstairs. Harry showed Louis to the room where he’d be sleeping, his bag sat beside the bed. Louis thanked him and started freshening up in the bathroom only to realize that he had nothing to actually sleep in.

Crap.

Louis emptied out everything from his bag and slumped on the floor, wondering how uncomfortable it would be to sleep in a dress pants and shirt.

“Alright?” Harry asked, peeking in a little later.

“Perfect,” Louis replied a bit too sarcastically.

Harry frowned as he walked further inside. “What happened?”

“I don’t have anything to wear,” Louis sighed, showing him all the dress pants, shirts, blazers, and a random scarf that he accidentally brought. It must have sneaked in when he rushed to get everything in.

“Why didn’t you just say?” Harry asked, disappearing out the door and walking back in with a pair of his pajama bottoms and t-shirt. Harry had a point -- _why_ didn’t he just ask? Probably because it was weird to ask to borrow your ex-boyfriend’s clothes while staying with him at his parent’s house.

“You’re a lifesaver,” Louis said, grinning to Harry before taking the clothes from him and putting it on the bed beside him. His fingers were just about to start unbuttoning his shirt when he realized Harry was still standing there. Louis didn’t know whether it was odd or funny that he instinctively started to undress himself in front of Harry without a second thought because he was that comfortable around him. When he didn’t do anything, Harry raised his eyebrows in question. “You just going to stand there?”

Harry’s lip quirked into a smirk -- that dick. “Well, it’s not anything I haven’t seen before,” he said.

“Oh my god,” Louis groaned, despite laughing. “You’re shameless and gross and weird.”

“Right,” Harry said sarcastically before slowly walking out the door and throwing a wink at Louis before he went.

Louis shook his head at Harry disapprovingly before finally changing out his clothes and getting into bed for that much needed nap -- one that wasn’t in a moving car. It was hard, though, considering the fact that Harry was only a few steps away -- down the hall, actually -- and it felt weird not being with him. He wanted nothing more than to crawl into Harry’s bed with him even if it was to sleep and nothing more. Louis missed cuddling, missed Harry’s arms wrapping around him and missed just being with him.

He hated how rapidly his mood could change when it came to Harry. There were days where Louis knew he was okay or at least knew he was going to be because it’d been more than two months and with time everything healed, but times like these when Louis spent all this time with Harry and remembered how well they fit just made him ache. They could be doing absolutely nothing and they’d still have a good time together -- they’d still have that connection.

This trip was good for them and things really seemed to be headed in the right direction as far as their friendship went, but there was still a part of Louis that wondered if he was over Harry or if he was only kidding himself. So far, he’d been optimistic and just kept going because there was nothing else he could do. However, it was easy and naive to say that everything would be okay and that he could continue living with this forever, but nothing actually lasted forever. Things always changed.

+++

The nap Louis took in the middle of the day made it literally impossible for him to sleep later on that night. He’d headed up to bed a little after dinner with Harry, Anne and his stepdad, Robin, expecting to be able to fall asleep instantly since when he woke up from his nap, he was still feeling tired.

Yeah, not so much.

Louis was lying there wide awake, looking around the dark bedroom at all different things Gemma had hanging up on her walls, from band posters to her graduation picture with her family, feeling infinitely creepy for doing so. He wondered if everyone else was asleep or unlucky like he was. They had a quiet day in after all. When Louis woke up from his nap earlier, he found Harry playing Scrabble with his mum downstairs, laughing at him internally for a full ten minutes for being such a dork at home. Once he was done, he sat around and watched them go against each other with their cat, Dusty, sat on his lap until Robin came from work and greeted them. In the end, Anne was declared the winner, much to Harry’s chagrin and close call.

Dinner was interesting to say the least. They had roast, as Anne promised, with potatoes and other veggies on the side, and pie for dessert. The interesting part was that Anne and Robin seemed to know a lot about Louis already without him having to tell them anything, so it was safe to assume Harry spoke about him just as much as Louis spoke about Harry to his own family. For example, they knew Louis’ major, what he wanted to do in the future, his living conditions, the fact that he liked his coffee cold. It was a little weird, but he found himself being happy about it.

Harry for the most part seemed embarrassed that they were talking to Louis like they already knew him. He didn’t try to stop them, though, merely nodding along to whatever the topic of conversation was. After dinner, the four of them went to the living room and Anne popped in the DVD of _The Secret Life of Walter Mitty_. Halfway through, the couple started snoozing and Harry felt bad so he turned off the movie and told them they should all head to bed.

So, here Lous was.

Not able to sleep and bored. Had it been how it was a few months ago, he’d have easily slipped out of bed and asked Harry to go for some coffee and chat because that was what he’d gotten used. It wasn’t the same, though, and Louis couldn’t quite do that so easily. But maybe he could keep doing it on his own rather than with Harry -- coffee runs weren’t limited to just two of them or none of them. He was sure Harry’d understand.

Louis slipped out of bed, grabbing his phone off the side table, and quietly walked out of the room. He could Google some 24-hour coffee shops within the vicinity and walk over to get a cuppa. No one would have to know. Plus, this walk would help him fall asleep once he got back and all would be well. He tiptoed his way over to the stairs and then paused because the lights were on. That was strange because when they came upstairs they had been turned off. Who else was awake and would they still let Louis get coffee?

Louis checked the time on his phone as he made his way down the stairs, reading 1:32 AM, before looking into the kitchen to find Harry sat up on one of the counters. He glanced over at Louis, eyebrows raised in surprise.

“What are you doing up?” Louis asked at the same time as Harry. The two of them looked at each other for a moment before laughing.

“Wow,” Harry said, grabbing an apple off the counter and throwing it up in the air before catching it in his palm. “I should have known.”

“I feel like I should have, too,” Louis told him, playfully. “You _never_ sleep.”

“Yeah, so that was no surprise. Question is why aren’t _you_ sleeping?”

Louis sighed, shrugging and leaning against the island in the middle of the kitchen. “That nap we took fucked me up and now I can’t fall asleep. I was actually coming down to get coffee -- was going to Google 24-hour coffee shops.”

Harry laughed, grinning as he grabbed another apple and tossed them in the air and juggled them. “It’s Holmes Chapel -- there are no 24-hour coffee shops.”

“You’re kidding,” Louis groaned.

“I’m not. We have a 24 hour supermarket and that closed about twenty minutes ago. Lucky for you, though, I’ve got coffee brewing over there right now.” Harry pointed out the small coffee pot sat on the counter furthest away and Louis stared at him with a faux scandalized expression.

“You were going to have your own little coffee run without me,” he gasped.

“So were you until you got caught!”

“Either way, I’m offended.”

“I didn’t want to interrupt you during your deep slumber,” Harry teased. “Especially if you were snoring like you were this afternoon.”

“Fuck you,” Louis grumbled with a roll of his eyes. “So obsessed with my snoring.”

“Not even going to deny that,” Harry said, now onto three apples. It was impressive and shouldn’t be as attractive as Louis was finding it. Instead of ogling at him and his thin tank top, Louis walked over to the coffee pot, waiting for it to finish brewing. Once done, Harry hopped off the counter and helped Louis pour two mugs of coffee, adding in their preference of milk, sugar or cream.

Louis blew on his coffee, waiting for it to cool a bit, while Harry sipped his tentatively. They both hopped up on the kitchen island and dangled their feet below them. “Thanks for bringing me here,” Louis told him, cutting into the silence. “Letting me stay and all that. Your mum and stepdad are super nice.”

“Thank you for coming,” Harry smiled. “I’m glad you got to meet them...I wanted you to. I wish I could show you more of Holmes Chapel other than my house, but there really isn’t much to do here unless you like walking around in small town streets and parks.”

Louis laughed. “It doesn't sound too bad. Maybe next time. Tell me more about your childhood, though. Give me some juicy details.”

“You know all about my childhood,” he reminded Louis.

“Tell me again while we’re here.”

Harry smiled at him, shifting closer and letting their shoulders touch before launching into stories from his childhood. He told Louis about a few birthdays he had and even one of his friend Alice’s where he blew out her candles instead of letting her do it because he couldn’t tell the difference. Harry’d felt so bad; he demanded to his mum that they had to go get her another present. He told Louis about going through his awkward, puberty days where he had cut his hair short and absolutely hated it, so he finally started letting his curls grow. He told Louis about the footie team, albeit reluctantly, and said he was even worse back then.

Once the conversation started dwindling, Louis felt like everything was perfect -- exactly how it used to be, except for one thing. “I miss your car,” he told Harry.

He burst out laughing, putting his mug down. “We could take this outside and sit in my car if you want or we could continue sitting here and I’ll turn on some music to set the same ambience of my car.”

“Second option,” Louis replied, pulling his feet up. “Don’t fancy going outside and your parents finding us passed out inside your car because we’ve done that a few times.”

“True,” Harry noted before moving over to rifle through the vinyls that Robin had placed beside his vinyl player. “His collection is extensive, so I’m going with whatever’s in here. Hoping it’s good.”

The opening notes to “You and Me” by Lifehouse started playing and Harry and Louis stared at each other as the romantic lyrics were crooned out with the soft acoustics. Why was the universe working against Louis like this? He didn’t need this.

“I didn’t know Robin listened to Lifehouse,” was the first thing Harry said.

Louis burst out laughing. Their heads were in completely different places -- Harry obviously was not thinking about how this was strangely exactly like a rom-com scene. Two exes, rekindling their fire over hot coffee, long conversations and now the added romantic music in the background. It was terrible.

“Robin’s a cool guy,” Louis said.

“Yeah, I suppose. I haven’t listened to Lifehouse in ages, but this was one of my favorites.”

“Mine, too.”

“It’s just one of those songs, you know?”

“What do you mean?” Louis asked curiously, noting his smug expression.

“One of those songs where you have take the hand of a pretty boy,” Harry said, offering his hand over and taking Louis’, “and dance.”

“Harry,” Louis cried in surprise, laughing as he pulled Louis to his feet suddenly and started swaying to the music. “You’re fucking insane sometimes. Oh my god.”

“I just wanna dance with you,” Harry whispered lowly, wrapping his other arm around Louis’ waist to hold him steady.

Louis couldn’t say no -- he _wasn’t_ going to say no because it was Harry. He was always going to say yes to Harry. Especially when it felt this right; his stomach was full of butterflies, Harry’s arm felt warm and nice and Louis couldn’t think of anything better. He gripped onto his hand while placing the other on his shoulder, following his lead as they giggled and slow danced poorly to the music of an alternative band from 2005.

Towards the bridge of the song, Harry twirled Louis around, pressing Louis’ back against his front while his hands wrapped around Louis’ waist. “We’re quite good,” he said, sounding surprised as he nuzzled his head over Louis’ shoulder.

“Beginners luck,” Louis concluded.

Harry laughed, continuing to sway the two of them and Louis wondered what this all was. The two of them were still broken up despite the slip up last month, which neither of them had spoken about it since the morning after it happened. And now they were at his parent’s house, slow dancing after Harry drove him all the way to Manchester to ensure he was able to get to his interview on time. Like, what was even happening?

He felt like his mind and his body were just going with everything as it happened because even dealing with their new situation and taking every day one at a time, in the back of his head, Louis still wanted to be with Harry. He still felt the connection they’d developed when they were together and he was still, ultimately, in love with him. Whether Harry felt the same was hard to say because so far it’d been moments like this that made Louis wonder before Harry pushed him away again and did what he intended to originally -- to be apart from Louis while still maintaining that _just friends_ label, even if it was everything but that.

This night was giving Louis hope -- hope that maybe Harry and he needed to do all this...let time and fate take them wherever it was headed to remember what brought them together in the first place, past the cheating and all the fighting. Maybe it would help them come back together again -- not now, but maybe later.

+++

 

([x](http://kingspouses.tumblr.com/post/140923461106/harrystyles-lazy-weekends-dont-repostuse))

The following morning, Anne, Robin, Harry and Louis went to a diner for breakfast before they had to bid them goodbye. Both Harry and Louis were rather sleepy due to their late night shenanigans, but they played it off well, only yawning minimally and drinking lots and lots of coffee and tea. It was only to reassure Anne, who found the two of them in a compromising situation the morning after, that they didn’t need to sleep in any longer. The whole thing was quite embarrassing. Harry and Louis had continued hanging out throughout the night and ended up on the couch, talking while something played on the telly. They’d fallen asleep curled up on top of each other and Anne took a picture of them. Louis wondered if Anne always took pictures of Harry and his exes like this.

After breakfast, when they were hugging Anne and Robin, Harry looked a bit sad, giving his mum an extra long hug and kiss on the cheek before they settled into the car. “You’ll be okay,” Louis said, petting Harry’s cheek as he pouted exaggeratedly and waved goodbye to Anne from the window. He let out a soft chuckle when he saw her pull a funny face at them  before starting up the car and pulling out of their spot.

They were driving for no less than five minutes when Harry turned to look at Louis with a mischievous smile on his lips. Louis narrowed his eyes at him suspiciously. “What?” he asked carefully.

“Do you have anywhere to be when we go back?”

“No. I’m free as a bird.”

Harry grinned at that. “Want to go to the beach?”

“The beach?” Louis exclaimed. “Where is there a beach?”

“A little up north. We don’t have to go, I mean, it’ll probably make our trip back to London a bit longer, but I don’t know. It’s a beautiful day out and I’ve had fun with you on this road trip and since we don’t have anywhere to be when we go back, I’m thinking why not?” Harry looked at Louis carefully, trying to assess his reaction. “Like, I said -- we don’t have to, but what do you say?”

Louis let out a soft sigh, thinking over the offer. The beach did sound fun and Harry looked so optimistic and eager that Louis couldn’t say no even if he tried. And he was right -- they were having fun on this trip and Louis wasn’t quite ready for it to end, either.

“Beach sounds amazing,” Louis told him, reveling in the way Harry’s grin grew wide. “Let’s crank up the music and go.”

“Aye aye, captain,” he said, laughing before turning up the volume, the speakers blasting “Shut Up and Dance” by Walk the Moon.

+++

Wallasey Beach was near empty when they got there, but it might have had a lot to do with Harry parking beside the less crowded area. The two of them got out of the car, staring out into the deep blue, water and hearing nothing but the breeze and waves crashing into the shore. When Louis met Harry’s eyes over the top of the car, his mouth broke into a grin.

“Race you to the water,” Harry said before sprinting down the sand.

Louis let out a surprised squawk before quickly running to catch up with him while trying not to fall over, their laughter mingling and echoing into the air. They pulled off their shoes and clothes, getting down to their briefs, and threw them behind them, neither of them bothering to check where they went, only focused on getting to the water first. Despite Harry’s head start, Louis managed to beat him by half a second due to his fast legs.

The two of them froze as soon as they were in the water together because it was so cold despite the warm weather. “It’s freezing,” Louis said, sounding stupidly amazed.

Harry, who was further into the water than Louis was, laughed while splashing him playfully. “It feels good, though, I promise.”

When Harry noticed Louis still hesitating, he walked over himself and dragged Louis in with him, causing him to shriek out loud. In retaliation, Louis pushed him underwater, watching as Harry submerged again, looking not the least bit angry. Instead, he was elated, grinning as he shook his head like baby Tarzan, and splashed Louis back. After that, it was war. Harry and Louis were running around in the water, splashing each other and laughing to their heart’s content.

They only stopped after their breath became labored and were content in going deeper in the water to float a bit. Harry had somehow found a floating log and climbed up over it, staring out into the distance with a hand over his eyes, dramatically. Louis laughed to himself, wiping the water from his eyes. It was throwing him off how so much of this was like a segment out of a rom com. Right down to the impromptu beach trip and playing in the water. Louis couldn’t remember a time when his life felt as cliché as it did now, playing out scenes from a Saylor Twift song. His eyes lingered on Harry and when Harry caught his wide-eyed gaze, he got that look in his eye again, the one that essentially drove Louis mad.

The drive over to the beach was fun; they were both relaxed with the windows down while the stereo blasted all their favorite songs. Louis felt at complete ease, his hair blowing in the wind and Harry right there beside him -- it almost felt like home, somehow, because it reminded him of all those nights when they did this same thing. Long drives, good music and each other’s company.

It shouldn’t feel that easy, though. Were they finally settling into being friends or was this only making things worse? He couldn’t quite tell, but that look in Harry’s eyes was confusing him and he was always falling for it. While this felt impossible, Louis wondered if he just wasn’t trying hard enough. Maybe if he tried a little harder he could resist him, even when Harry looked at Louis so intently while driving through little streets and almost running red lights because of the long glances.  

Louis could try and push himself to resist all the signs Harry was sending him, but even then they weren’t being just friends. However, it was hard to be friends with someone you once wanted more than anything and Louis was tired of fighting it. He wanted to let it all go and just go along with whatever signals and hints Harry was sending his way. If Harry was thinking of getting back together then Louis would do it in a heartbeat.

Harry’s eyes were trained on Louis as he drifted over. He climbed off the log and Louis floated on the opposite side of it, facing Harry. “Hi,” Harry whispered with a soft smile.

“Hi,” Louis whispered back even though it was just them.

And then they were kissing, lips pressing against each other slowly as though it was something they could still do -- something they still did. The smart thing to do would have been to pull away and say no because this was wrong, but absolutely nothing felt wrong about this. It felt right and Louis could only put it down to being young and reckless. The thing with that was that it was easy to let moments pass without doing what you really wanted to. Louis didn’t want to be that person -- he never was that person and maybe acting on impulse was stupid, but he’d rather live stupid if it meant getting to do this again.

The best part was that Harry kissed him back without a moment of hesitance, his arms coming around to hold Louis closer against his body. He was thorough and slow, giving his everything into it like they had all the time in the world. When their lips turned red, bitten raw and swollen, they slowly pulled away. Neither spoke as they walked back to shore with their fingers tangled together and headed back to the car, opting for the backseat instead.

 

+++

Harry stopped his car slowly in front of Louis’ flat, shifting the gear to park before Louis started to gather his things. Louis could feel sand dried into his hair. It felt gross. He was pretty sure there was sand everywhere on his body in uncomfortable places and he sort of wanted to rush up the stairs and jump in the shower.

Once he’d gotten everything, he climbed out, Harry following suit to help him get his bag from the back. When Louis reached over to take the bag from him, Harry shook his head. “I’ll walk you up,” he said, gesturing towards the door.

Louis nodded and led him inside, the two of them walking up the stairs in silence. When they got to Louis’ door, Louis was about to unlock it when Harry spoke up again.

“Don’t go to Manchester,” he said in a rush.

Louis froze, turning to face him, his face scrunched up in confusion. “What?” he asked.

“Don’t -- don’t go to Manchester,” Harry breathed out again, looking so conflicted and desperate all of a sudden. “Don’t go, _please_ don’t go.”

Louis fish mouthed several times, not even sure what to say or think. What in the world? “I -- I -- Harry, what -- I haven’t even --.”

“I’m just -- I don’t know what I’d do if you left.” Harry paused for a moment, his grip on Louis’ bag hard and face flushed. “I don’t know if I could take it if you were so far away.”

“Where is this coming from?” Louis questioned him, his brows furrowed. “You drove me all the way there for the interview, you were -- you were _excited_ for me.”

“I know I was -- I’ve just been realizing what this all means. You’re going to move -- you’re -- you can’t do that.”

“I don’t know if I will move, Harry. I haven’t even gotten a callback.”

“Of course you’ll get a callback,” Harry argued, his tone frustrated. “They probably loved you and you’ll get a callback and move. You’ll leave everything behind...this flat, London, our friends -- you’ll leave _me_ behind.”

“That’s not fair,” Louis said to him, his voice small. He couldn’t figure out why, but Harry had him feeling guilty about a decision he still hadn’t made and he hated it. He felt blindsided and confused. “You’re being so unfair right now, Harry. You’ve been unfair this entire trip. You’re always so up and down and I don’t know if I can keep doing this.”

“Doing what?”

“What we’ve been doing -- you know exactly what I mean,” Louis said, his voice getting louder as he was getting more exasperated by the situation.

This was only the second time it happened, but Louis could see a pattern forming right off the bat. They’d meet once every few weeks, Harry would flirt and Louis’d turn into putty in his hands, they’d eventually end up having sex, and then he tried to tell Louis what to do, what to think and how to live his life by trying to interfere. First he did it at the party last month, taking Louis out for coffee just because he thought Louis was going to go home with Kyle Baker, and then this time, trying to tell him how to make his career decisions.

Harry could do all this shit, show Louis that he cares, only to remind him in the end that they weren’t in a relationship anymore, they were just friends. Earlier when they had hooked up in the back of Harry’s car, Harry was quick to pull off of Louis and jump back in the driver's seat without even talking with him about what had happened. As though Louis was just a random hookup and friends didn’t do shit like that. Louis wasn’t going to put up with that any more -- it was humiliating and degrading. And now Harry was coming out of nowhere telling Louis not to go because he couldn’t be without him? This was why Louis hated mixed signals because then even he didn’t know how he felt.  

“I’m sorry,” Harry said quietly.

When his voice trailed and he couldn’t even finish the sentence, Louis’d hoped it was enough to make him realize that this was not good. He knew Harry wasn’t a bad guy. Harry cared about Louis very much and did so much for him this trip, but Louis wished Harry could figure out what it was that he wanted.

“It’s okay,” Louis said eventually. “Thanks for everything.”

“Of course,” Harry said, pausing for a moment before leaning forward and giving Louis a kiss on the cheek. “Goodbye.”

Louis nodded shakily, wondering when it was going to get any easier. He didn’t want Harry to stand there and kiss him goodbye, he wanted him to kiss him goodnight with the promise that he’d see Louis soon -- tomorrow in fact -- and that they’d be _okay_. That Louis and he could make it.

That didn’t happen, though.

Harry put down his bag by the doorstep before seeing himself out, leaving Louis in a empty hallway with too many thoughts and a gut wrenching pain in his chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SORRY *runs away*  
>   
> [tumblr](http://softasurcheek.tumblr.com/) / [fic page](http://softasurcheek.tumblr.com/yail) / [chapter post](http://softasurcheek.tumblr.com/post/143556024570/fic-you-are-in-love-author-wildestdreams)


	29. the one at leeds festival

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm **extremely** sorry about this!!!!!!! i am. which is why im going straight to bed after this (half bc im scared and also bc i only slept 2 hours and have finals) but tbh it's not THAT bad. something happens that will make a lot of ppl really happy!!!!! but like theyll suffer too. alsoooo, i shamelessly drop a few taylor swift lyrics in there but if u know me, then ur prob not surprised.  
>   
>  thanks [mac](http://realitybetterthanfiction.tumblr.com/) for all ur help!

The trip to Leeds Festival was an approximate four hours drive, which they had initially wanted to do in one go, however, two and a half hours in, everyone started complaining about cramped legs and hungry stomachs. So, they all stopped at a cafeteria somewhere off the freeway in Grantham. The cafeteria was fairly big and filled with people, crowding in on small tables for four. In order to fit their group of ten, they pushed together three tables before getting in a long line to grab food from the buffet.  

Once Louis had a tray filled with an assortment of different foods, he sat at one end of their table, across from Niall and Barbara. He’d just began eating when Harry pulled up the chair beside him, giving him a small, dimpled smile and digging into his food. Louis smiled back quickly, trying to tone it down and focus on the chicken and mashed potatoes on his plate, instead.

“Mate,” Niall said to Harry. “You’ve got to get Zayn in your car. That arse won’t stop snoring. He snores over the music.”

Harry almost snorted, looking up at Niall from his food. “Have you tried turning the music up?”

“Of course,” Niall replied. “I know you had him in your car last time, but -- honestly, keep him there.” Niall turned to me. “Back me up on this, Louis.”

Louis blinked up at the two, not really knowing what to say, despite how Niall was right -- Zayn did snore. Just like the last time they went to Leeds, they split the cars up with five people per car, one half in Harry’s, the other half in Ed’s. Louis opted to sit in Ed’s car this time, which really said something. Maybe not to everyone else, but it spoke volumes to Harry, who he’d actually been somewhat talking with since last month after their own personal road trip. With Louis sat Barbara, Liam and Zayn. The others opted for Harry.

“You’re both terrible,” Barbara commented, instead. “Trading Zayn along back and forth between the two of you like a pawn. He’s a _person_.”

“He’s a noisy person,” Niall told her. “I can’t do it, Barbara. You hear him in the car, don’t you?”

“I’ll tell you what,” Harry said. “I’ll think about it and I’ll let you know after I’m done eating.”

Niall gave Harry a hard look before nodding his head slowly, like he was contemplating whether he should trust Harry or not and then deeming him worthy.

“So,” Harry spoke up again, looking at Louis. “How’s the moving going? Did you get everything in okay?”

Louis nodded with a smile. He had signed a new lease with El, but in a different location than their old flat. It was exciting because it was brand new and affordable and quite nice with one extra bedroom, but it also meant that even if that company in Manchester got back to him, he wouldn’t be able to say yes anymore. It was something he’d personally thought a lot about and something inside of him just kept pushing towards listening to Harry. While the prospect of starting new seemed nice, it also seemed a bit scary and daunting. Louis wasn’t sure if he was ready to leave everything behind him and move so far away from what became _home_ for him. On the one hand, he didn’t want to leave this city for a boy, but he also didn’t want to listen to one and stay back as well. Finding this new flat gave him that final push towards the direction of staying in the end because it was more than just about Harry -- it was about where he felt most at home.

With that being said, there wasn’t anyone more surprised and pleased as Harry was upon hearing this piece of news. It was Niall who had told him and prior to that, Harry and Louis hadn’t spoken since he dropped Louis off home that day when they returned from Holmes Chapel. As soon as Harry heard, he’d sent Louis a text with the stupid monkey hiding his eyes emoji. Since then, things slightly shifted between them. They didn’t really hang outside of group outings, but they spoke -- _a lot_. Harry texted Louis at least once a day and it was usually of the flirty caliber. Louis’d thought that maybe if he didn’t see Harry as much, whatever it was that they were doing would stop and they could be normal again, but it wasn’t. He’d found himself flirting back on the occasion, too, which led him to wonder why he was trying to fight all of this so much.

In Louis’ defense, he had every right to do so. Harry seemed to come in and out of his life and he didn’t understand how Harry wanted to be just friends when he behaved like they were more. It was like whiplash the amount of times they were friendly and then all of a sudden one of them gave in and they weren’t anymore. These inconsistencies and incoherencies were difficult, but Louis realized he only went along with it because he was still in love with Harry. No part of him had stopped and he wondered if Harry was faring the same way.  

“That’s great,” Harry said, looking over at Louis. “I’d love to come see.”

“It’s sick, mate,” Niall said through a mouth full of food. “They have a sick view from the balcony.”

“Gonna miss our old balcony, though,” Louis pouted.

“Me, too,” Harry mumbled only loud enough for Louis to hear and he widened his eyes at him. There was no way his comment was innocent -- he had to have been talking about all the times they got frisky there.

Instead of responding, Louis chose to stuff his face while taking out his phone and looking through his Instagram feed to see what was going on. Harry wasn’t going to get him so easily this time. Louis wanted Harry to show him that he cared and that this was going to go somewhere. Louis got so distracted and consumed by his phone, liking picture after picture that he didn’t notice Harry had hooked his foot on Louis’ chair and dragged him closer.

Louis was startled immediately, holding on to the table to keep himself steady, and then turned to Harry. He was smirking, mouth full of food, and so, so close to Louis. “What the fuck,” Louis muttered with a glare.

“What are you doing?” Harry asked, nosily, once he was done chewing.

“Instagram,” Louis said, noting how he still had his foot hooked around his chair. Louis sighed softly, taking his plate and pulling it closer so that he could eat. They didn't have much time left before they were heading back on the road again.  

“Oh yeah?” Harry asked, peering over his shoulder. Louis nodded in response and when Harry looked down at Louis’ screen with him, Louis almost cackled out loud. Of course -- _of course_ it was displaying Kyle fucking Baker’s last post. This was really funny. Louis contained his laughter, though, trying to stay as calm as possible.

When he looked over at Harry, he saw his brows were furrowed as he stared at the picture of Kyle. It was a good selfie -- Louis was planning on giving it a like. Harry, on the other hand, was probably not down for that. “On to the next,” he said, scrolling upwards on the screen. Louis burst out laughing, not being able to help it anymore and Harry grinned, not looking the least bit apologetic.

+++

“Where are we putting the tents?” Zayn asked once they’d arrived to the campgrounds for the festival, leading the pack of them through the throngs of people. Some of them had just arrived like them and there were a lot of others who’d arrived long before and were already getting sloshed. It was exciting, really. There was a great vibe going, music playing somewhere in the distance and the smell of fresh weed and beer in the air. Seemed like the combination for a great weekend coming up.

Niall stepped forward once he found a clear spot for their four tents. “How about here? We just need to clear this place up a bit.” He kicked at the pinecones and branches before settling his tent bag down on the ground. The rest of them followed suit, putting down their things and getting ready to pitch up their tents.

“I’m on pine cone duty,” Louis immediately said.

“Is that a job?” Dylan asked him, arching her eyebrow suspiciously.

“It’s not,” Ed replied. “He’s just a lazy dick.”

Louis shrugged, a devilish grin on his lips. “To be fair, whenever we do anything like this, I’m normally the one that pretends to be busy the whole time. I won’t even try to deny that.”

They all snickered at the accuracy while Ed hit Louis over the head with a instruction manual. Liam plopped down beside Louis to pitch up his tent and pulled out the instruction manual as well.

“The instructions are in Swedish,” Liam said after observing it for a moment and then looking up at everyone. “Who got Swedish tents?”

“We don’t need instructions, _Liam_ ,” Harry piped up, already at work with Niall beside him as they pulled out all the necessary parts for the tent. Louis ran a hand through his hair, trying not to let his eyes linger too long as he gave Harry a sneaky once over. He looked really good, was the thing. And he shouldn’t be -- not with a ratty, deep purple flannel that he cut the sleeves off of and barely buttoned up. Then again, you could give Harry a garbage bag and he’d still look hot.

Liam shrugged at that and started working through the tent. The rest of the group were doing as such, helping build the other two tents they brought, and there was loud chatter coming from where Niall and Harry were working, mostly from Niall, who was doubting their progression. Louis was the only one sat on a pull out chair, one leg over the other, trying to blend in with the background so they wouldn’t notice him. He occasionally spoke up to encourage them, complimenting their work, which got Barbara peeved and she hit him on the head with one of the rods when he wasn’t looking.

“Oh, there we go,” Liam said once he was done. “I smashed it.”

“Same here,” Ed said a few minutes later.

“Ditto,” Dylan added.

Niall and Harry both looked over from where they were stood with their unfinished tent and Louis cackled. “Everyone clocked it in about five minutes. You two suck.”

Liam smiled at Louis, giving him a high five. Harry and Niall didn’t look amused, though. Harry grabbed Louis by the arms and tugged him forward to help them as well as Ed. Everyone else laughed the entire time, sitting around in a circle with a few cold beers that Barbara popped out from the cooler, watching the six of them work on the tent. It was working well until Louis did something that made the whole tent topple down, tangling together and disassembling.

“Louis, you _idiot_ ,” Zayn yelled, his Yorkshire accent really pulling through with how angry he was.

“Right,” Louis said, assessing his mess with a calm tone. “I suppose you might not want my help anymore.”

“Oh, you’re helping, alright,” Harry said, grabbing Louis by the collar before he could go back to his chair.

After several more attempts, they finally got the last tent sorted. Louis was obviously taking all the credit, saying he did everything, which to an extent was true, but he wouldn’t have been able to had it not been for the others giving him instructions.

“Alright, who is sleeping where?” Liam asked, looking at all of them.

“Um, I’m going to be blunt and say that Barbara and I need one tent,” Niall said, stepping forward. “We’re planning to shag, no shame in that, so one tent for us.”

“Got it,” Liam said, shuddering a bit at the honesty. “Who else?”

“Taylor and I don’t mind sharing,” Ed said.

“I’ll bunk with you two,” Zayn said then.

“So, then that leaves Dylan, El, Louis and Harry and me with two more tents,” Liam said, counting off with his fingers. No one spoke for a moment as they tried to figure out how to split up the rest of them.

“Well, I know I’m definitely bunking with El,” Dylan said.

“Okay…,” Liam said slowly, looking over at Harry, raising his eyebrow in question.

Harry looked thoughtful as he furrowed his brows, but then a slow smirk formed on his lips, and he swung his arm around Louis’ shoulder, pulling him towards a tent. Everyone started laughing, eyes wide as a few of them catcalled, too.

“Oh, no, _no way_ am I bunking with those two if this is happening,” Liam said, shaking his head.

“We’re fine with you joining us,” Dylan said, laughing as she rubbed Liam’s head. “We won’t let you be exposed to their indecency.”

“No indecency,” Louis called back while Harry continued to pull him inside the tent, the two of them tumbling down on the sleeping bags. “Nothing’s going to happen.” The last part was shouted out while Harry laughed, zipping up the tent. Louis turned to look at Harry with an unamused expression. “You’re a menace.”

“It’s funny,” Harry laughed, lounging back on the sleeping back and stretching his limbs. “Besides, you do not want to share a tent with Liam. He takes up so much space. You’re good here with me.”

Louis shook his head at him disapprovingly despite the smile on his face. Harry’s laughter subsided and settled down into a peaceful smile. His arm came out to tug Louis beside him, not letting up until Louis was snuggled up with him.

“Don’t wanna sleep with anyone else,” he mumbled into Louis hair, his voice quiet as opposed to the chatter outside from their friends.

Louis couldn’t act too surprised with the events that were playing out because a part of him did know it’d end up happening. He wanted Harry -- wanted him so much and if Harry was going to let him be close, then Louis wasn’t going to stop him. Harry had a home in Louis’ heart, but it also felt like he’d started a fire in there, too. It lived inside Louis and though he tried to get rid of it, it was still there to this day.

Too often, you meet people who left an impact on your life only to leave. It was very rare that they stayed and that in itself was such a sad and awful truth -- that people you cared about, who left their fingerprints all over you, inevitably left, and you didn’t get to keep them forever.

Louis didn’t want Harry to be one of those people and if being just friends wasn’t working, Louis wanted to remind him that being together could.

 

+++

 

Kendrick Lamar was rapping, “Backseat Freestyle”, in flesh in front of Louis and he was losing his mind.

HIs voice could be heard as one of the loudest in the crowd as they sang along to every word. The group of them ended up with a good spot, situated somewhere in the middle of the crowd next to Main Stage. Kendrick was the second to last artist to come out for tonight and the absolute best performance. So far, it’d been a good time and they were all having a complete blast. After they fixed up the tent, they headed out to grill some food and have drinks while mingling with who else was there. When the show started, everyone split off towards the different stages set up to see the acts.

Once Kendrick was done with the song, El flailed beside Louis, trying to get his attention. “Sing the “Bad Blood” remix,” she shouted over the crowd, again and again, making all of them laugh.

Louis turned to look over at his friends and say something only to find Harry right behind him standing with Liam and Zayn, their snapbacks flipped backwards and a can of beer in their hands. Typical frat boys. They’d had some to drink from before, but Louis could tell from the pink splotches on Harry’s cheek that he was gone. His grin was wide and giddy, looking on at the stage as Kendrick started up the next song. Harry cheered, throwing his hand up before laughing and swaying goofily with the boys.

When Harry looked back at Louis, Louis realized he was staring and didn’t even notice. That tended to happen quite a lot. He broke into a grin and Harry smiled back at him. He moved forward to hold Louis around the waist, throwing his other hand up in the air and making him laugh harder. It felt like the night got infinitely better.  

+++

 

On the second night, a few people around the campgrounds banded together and built a campfire, looking onto the stage. There were s’mores and drinks going around as All Time Low finished their set and Bastille got ready to go on. The vibe was great and they’d all spread apart and mingled a lot with the other people who were there. For the last half hour or so, Louis’d been talking to this couple, Hayden and Nicole, and their friend Zach, all of whom were from Leeds University and had known each other since they were babies. It was so endearing and he found himself laughing with them so hard, his stomach started hurting.

And if Louis wasn’t mistaken, Zach was into him if his long, lingering looks and flirty chat up lines were anything to go by. He was charming and Louis started to fall for it, smiling whenever he said something sweet to him. “So, how long are you guys planning to stay here?” Zach asked Louis, leaning close so that their shoulders brushed.

“I’m pretty sure we’re leaving on Monday morning,” Louis replied.

“So soon?” Nicole asked, a pout on her lips. “Was hoping you could stick around and we could go drinking at a few of our favorite spots and show you around.”

Louis nodded sadly. “I’d love to, but we’ve got all things to sort out when we get home. Adult things.” He wrinkled his nose in distaste, making Zach laugh as he watched him fondly. Louis gave him a small, shy smile. Zach was nice -- he really was, but Louis’d be kidding himself if he let this progress any further. “I’ll be right back,” he said to the three of them, standing up. They nodded and Louis picked up his beer off the ground and started walking around in search of a familiar face.

He spotted Harry sat alone a few feet away on a chair. He was looking right at Louis so he smiled and walked over. “Hi,” Louis said.

“Hey,” Harry said, extending his hand to Louis. It felt like deja vu as Louis easily took his hand, letting him pull him down on his lap.

“How are you?” Louis sighed, Harry’s arms coming around to hold his waist. “Having fun?”

“Loads of fun,” Harry said with a slow nod, his eyes glassy. “Are you having fun?”

“Yeah,” Louis giggled. “Bastille is amazing. Love this song.” He let his voice trail off as the two of them looked to the stage and watched the band play their song “Bad Blood”. It felt good -- way better than mingling with people Louis had just met or pretending like he wanted to be anywhere but here. He loved the feeling of being so close to Harry, hearing his heartbeat and smelling his smell while they watched a great band play over a campfire.

And Louis knew that nowadays it felt like things between them were only good for a few fleeting seconds, but he still welcomed any moment he could get with him. It scared Louis that whatever they were to each other wouldn’t last -- wouldn’t work -- and they’d have to say goodbye for real. It was a fear that came up a lot these past few weeks and it was something he’d feared before they’d officially broken up, too. What if Harry would up and leave or Louis would crack and not be able to do whatever it was that they were doing and they’d end things completely. Not friends, not romantic partners, nothing. They wouldn't see nor talk to each other and Louis wondered what he would do if that really happened.

Would Harry forget him? Would Louis forget Harry? He really hoped not. What they had -- have -- was too special and Louis wanted Harry to remember him even if they didn’t end up together in any way. He wanted him to remember all the good times, maybe even some of the bad, and keep it with him forever. Louis wanted him to remember this moment right now -- Louis sat on Harry’s lap like this while he held him. It would be a nice thing to remember when looking back because Louis knew he would.  

As Bastille finished their set with “Flaws”, Louis turned to look at Harry, and found his eyes already on him, searching his face while also looking down intently at his lips a few times. It felt almost like instinct how Louis lowered his head and met Harry’s lips in a soft kiss. A low groan escaped Harry’s lips, spurring Louis to deepen it a little more by parting his lips and allowing Harry’s tongue to slide in. His taste was familiar, something Louis’d grown so used to, his kisses warm and wet. The hand that wasn’t holding beer came around to tangle itself into Harry’s hair while Harry’s hands pressed over Louis’ bum.

Louis should have stopped it if he wanted to be sensible, however, there wasn’t a bone in his body that wanted him to. Harry and him were meant to be and he was hell-bent on reminding Harry of it.

They broke away, panting and breathless, and it felt too soon. Louis wanted to kiss Harry again and again and not feel guilty or ashamed about it after. He wanted to rewind back to a few months ago when things were okay and he didn’t have to second guess kissing the person he loved. Harry had his eyes closed and tipped his head forward, resting his forehead against Louis’.

While Louis wanted this all to be easy, it wasn’t. He slowly pulled away, picking himself off of Harry’s lap. He didn’t say anything, just looked deep in thought, offering Louis a meek smile as he turned away. Louis looked around the campfire to see if anyone noticed them or were too busy to look over. It seemed safe at first, but then Louis saw Ed, Zayn, El and Taylor all sat together, staring at him with alarmed expressions.

Shit.

They were going to want answers -- answers that Louis didn’t really have. He’d told them what happened back in June and then in July and while they weren’t happy about it, they understood that shit happened. Problem was that Louis’d said he was done with Harry and his stupid games, so for him to go and make out with him in front of everyone was counteractive. It was hypocritical, too.

He reluctantly walked over to them, plopping down on the ground, pulling his feet up to his chest. “Alright,” Louis muttered. “Lay it on me.” As soon as he said that, he regretted it. The four of them started talking all at once, making Louis want to get back up and walk the fuck away so he didn’t have to answer any of what they were asking or saying.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

“That is so stupid of you, Louis.”

“I can’t believe you just did that.”

“Are you even thinking straight? Are you drunk?”

“Were his hands in your pants or was that a trick of the eye?”

“Were you going to do it on the chair because it sure looked like it?”

“Enough,” Louis cried, looking at all four of them in exasperation. “I -- I don’t know, okay? Just...it just happened. I don’t know.”

“That’s what your are said last time,” El replied with a bored look. “Maybe it’s not just happening, maybe you want it to.”

“I’m starting to think it’s different this time,” Louis agreed with a small voice.

Zayn looked at Louis, his eyes downturned in a sad way, like he wasn’t convinced. “What’s different?”

“The fact that maybe all that’s been happening this summer is only because we’re not meant to be just friends and it was the universe’s way of telling us. Like, every single time we’d met, something or another happened, and I think it’s time I stopped denying Harry’s signs and just went with it. I want to say how I feel and get him back.”

“What about the fact that he keeps stepping back every time?” El reminded him. “He pushes you away and then tries to get you back. He’s a mess, Louis. He doesn’t know what he wants. It’s like you’re a pawn in his game and he’s changing the rules everyday.”

“Maybe I need to remind him,” Louis insisted. “Maybe -- maybe he’s waiting for me to come out and say something about it. Something more because maybe he doesn’t know what I want, either.”

They were all silent, the music and laughter continuing on in front of them, as they pondered over his words. “As long as you’re being careful about it,” Taylor said eventually. “I personally think you’ve been pretty obvious, but I don’t know as much about the situation as you, so please be careful.”

“I agree,” Ed added. “You’ve got a lot to think about and I can’t understand how hard it’s been for you, but you’ve handled it really well. Just keep your head on straight and do what you can, love. Not much we can tell you because in the end, you’ll only listen to what your heart is telling you.”

They had made a great point. No matter how conflicted you may be about something while asking others for help, you’ll only follow what your heart desired in the end.

 

**([x](http://stylesraconteur.tumblr.com/))**

+++

It was the last night and the Wombats were killing it on stage. Louis was buzzed and high and a lot happy. He felt like his feet hadn’t stopped dancing for a moment. Halfway through the set, he felt someone come up behind him and he turned to see Zach from the other night.

“Zachary,” Louis beamed happily.

“Thought I lost you,” he smiled. “Where’ve you been? You disappeared last night.”

“Here,” Louis told him, still swaying with the music. “Just been around here. You enjoying the show?”

“Lots. Will enjoy it more now, yeah?”

Louis snickered, giving him a knowing look as he wrapped an arm around Louis. Louis let him and continued to dance and sing along. There was no reason he couldn’t dance with this completely nice guy. It wasn’t like he was going to be hooking up with him or anything. Zach held Louis through about two songs before he felt him move away. Louis turned to look to see what happened, only to be met with the sight of Harry stood beside Zach. Harry didn’t look too happy as the two of them exchanged some words. Zach eventually said one last thing and moved past the crowd to go to the other side.

“What happened to Zach?” Louis asked Harry while he took Zach’s place.

“He had to go,” Harry replied shortly, pulling Louis close to him. He was frowning still and Louis hated it, trying to smooth it out with his fingers. Harry continued to talk. “Why were you flirting with him?”

Louis rolled his eyes at Harry. He had to be kidding. “I wasn’t flirting. I wasn’t even talking to him. We were dancing because in case you hadn’t noticed...there’s a concert going on.”

“That counts as flirting.”

“Oh, please. You’re jealous again,” Louis said bluntly with a dry laugh.

Harry was quiet, biting his lip for a moment, and then, “Yeah, so what if I am?”

Louis shook his head at him, scoffing softly. “So confusing,” he told him. “You’re honestly just so confusing.”

Louis tugged Harry down by his t-shirt to pull him into a heated kiss, other hand pulling at his hair. Harry whimpered in shock for a moment before looping his arms around Louis’ waist and pulling him close.

+++

“You close, baby?” Harry breathed out, panting into Louis’ neck, making the spot wet and warm.

Harry’s hips were rocking into Louis, his legs clasped tight around his waist while their hands, which were tangled and entwined, were held securely above his head. The two of them had somehow made their way back to their tent barely able to keep their hands off of each other. As soon as they were inside, Harry wasted no time in ripping off their clothes and shoving his face between Louis’ legs. That was an hour ago and since then they’d been having the most intense sex. Their skin was shining with sweat due to the heat of the outdoors and the close quarters of the tent, making it feel much more passionate and hot.

Louis nodded his head in response to Harry’s question, letting him quicken the pace and circle his hips in motion. There were so many different emotions and feelings going through him that with the added pleasure of sex, he felt like he was going to pass out. This entire weekend had been a whirlwind of Harry and Louis’ feelings for him, which he had so desperately tried to ignore despite this entire summer, and the reality of it that all his friends reminded him of. He felt like if he didn’t say anything tonight, he’d not be able to do any of this any longer.

Harry had broken up with Louis because he thought that being in a relationship would cause them to get into more fights and end not only their relationship, but eventually their friendship, too. That was what Harry wanted to save, but he wasn’t being a friend. Friends didn’t fuck each other, which was exactly what they’d been doing this entire summer. Louis didn’t regret any of it and he knew that Harry didn’t either, so then what were they waiting for? All of their friends were right. The two of them had to stop playing these games and ignoring what was staring at them in the face.

Louis didn’t want to be just friends with Harry anymore if this was how it was going to be all the time. He didn’t see Harry as just a friend no matter how much he tried because Louis loved him. Louis hated that he was only able to say Harry was truly his in these moments every few weeks when they fall into each other and had sex. He wanted to be able to say Harry was his all the time. He wanted to go back and be how they were before because he missed him. He missed touching Harry whenever he wanted, he missed seeing and talking to each other like they used to, he missed everything about what they were. There came a point after all this where Harry had to see through the sex. They weren’t over each other if they were still seeking one another out in a crowd of people full of potential new beginnings.

Louis didn’t want anyone else but Harry. He wanted him all the time and no one else.

Harry’s lips found his in a searing kiss, their heavy breathing and pants intertwined. When he thrusted in at a particularly good angle, Louis felt himself coming in soft moans, clenching around Harry, making him come as well soon after.

“Fuck, fuck,” he breathed out while mouthing along Louis’ neck. “Feel so good.”

“I love you,” Louis whispered, not missing the way Harry’s lips stilled against his skin. “I love you.”

Harry lifted his mouth off of Louis, sitting up with his palms flat on the ground on either side of his head. His eyes were wide and his lips parted in surprise.

“Harry -- I -- I love you,” Louis repeated, not able to help himself anymore. He had to say this -- had to say something because it couldn’t go on like this anymore. They were doing this whole thing wrong and Harry had to realize that.

It didn’t seem like Harry understood right away because once he pulled out of Louis, he awkwardly pushed himself further away, rifling through his bag. And even though Louis was sweating and felt so hot a minute ago, he was suddenly cold because that was how Harry was being now. Louis sat up, pulling his knees close to his chest while Harry pulled out a flannel and wet it with a water bottle to clean himself up.

“Do you need anything?” he asked Louis, finally breaking his silence.

“I need you to fucking talk to me,” Louis snapped, his words harsh and cutting. “Don’t ignore what I just said, Harry.”

“What do you want me to say?” he asked, his voice low and distant as he turned to face Louis. He looked irritated and yet like a little kid who was cornered. His question was also really unexpected because he knew what Louis wanted him to say; yet he wanted Louis to spell it out for him as though Louis putting himself out there wasn’t enough. He felt embarrassed and small and all he wanted was for Harry to rewind and go back to who he was before because Louis didn’t feel like he was talking to Harry anymore. He felt like he was talking to someone else entirely.

And everyone changed with time, Louis knew that, but when you lost someone that you loved, they changed without you. And that was when you start to wonder whether they were the same person you fell in love with or not. The more this happened, the more Louis wondered this about Harry because every time it felt like he was talking to a new person.

“If you have to ask me that then I don’t know what to say to you,” Louis said finally. “Why are you being like this? Why don’t you want to even talk about it?”

“You can’t even tell me what you want me to say,” Harry argued, his features hard and angry. “You can’t pull that shit on me out of nowhere and expect a heartfelt response.”

“Why not?” he asked him, glaring back. “You were able to say it four months ago. You said it all the time. In fact, you said it here in Leeds for the first time. Did you forget that?”

“That was when we were in a relationship. We’re not in a relationship anymore.”

“Yet you have no problem acting jealous and possessive whenever another guy even _looks_ in my direction. Oh, and tell me this -- do you have sex with all of your friends or am I just a special one?”

Harry let out a dry, humorless laugh. “Oh, so, this is about the sex. Do you not want to sleep together anymore because if that’s the case then explain to me why you showed up at my bedroom back in June? Explain to me why you played hard to get all night or were you actually trying to get with another guy because I kissed someone else? Explain to me why you kissed me back in July at the beach and then took me to my car to have sex in the backseat? Explain to me why you have not once stopped me from doing anything this past weekend with you? If you have such a problem with the sex then maybe you should rethink the signals you’re sending me.”

“Oh, sod off with talking about fucking signals because all you’ve been giving me are mixed signals,” Louis countered furiously. “All you’ve given me is false hope and I’m sick of it. I’m sick of you telling me we’re just friends when we aren’t. We can never be just fucking friends, Harry. I fucking love you and I know you never believed me, but I do. I do so much, I love you and I even love you now despite the fact that you’re acting like an absolute twat.”

The two of them were breathing heavy again, except this time from the screaming. Louis had no idea if anyone around them could hear, but with the music still playing in the distance, Louis highly doubted. It felt like they were completely far away in their own little world in that tiny tent. Louis felt absolutely drained of any energy and suffocated. This weekend had been a constant go, go, go mixed with heavy emotions. That added with the intense sex with Harry and this fight, he felt like he couldn’t move or breathe properly.

Harry was being terrible. The last time they fought like this was back in April and even then he wasn’t this nasty. It was naive of Louis to compare because times change and it seemed now that so did people with it. Things weren’t how they had been then. Back then all Harry did was make Louis happier than anyone or anything and while that is sometimes true now, he also made Louis sadder than anyone or anything.

“I don’t want to fight,” Louis said to him softly, his voice barely a whisper. “I just want to tell you how I feel and I want to talk about where we’re going and what we are.”

He looked at Harry for any sign of understanding. While his expression was still in a frown, he also wasn’t shouting or looking at Louis with anger in his eyes. He looked just as defeated as Louis felt. Realizing that he wasn’t going to say anything and that it had to be him, Louis continued.

“I don’t know if you still haven’t forgiven and forgotten what I did back then, but I’m done apologizing, Harry. I’m so done apologizing for something that was a mistake and that I’ve spent months feeling guilty over, that I’ve been shamed for, and that I never even wanted to happen in the first place. I was hurt and taken advantage of and yet I still apologized to you again and again and you told me it was fine, but I’m still not sure. I know what’s done is done and it’s in the past -- but I can’t fucking change it no matter how much I want to, so you need to accept it and move on because I can’t keep trying to make up for something that doesn’t define who I am. You know who I am!”

There were tear tracks on Louis’ cheeks by the time he was done. He was letting out tiny sobs while Harry sat there, looking pained and conflicted.

“You told me you wanted to be friends,” Louis said. “But even when we weren’t seeing each other we couldn’t stay just friends. You can’t stay friends with people you love -- you’re going to always want more. And I want more. Maybe this is blind optimism, but is it naive of me to say that I think you might, too? If you don’t -- like if you don’t know, then let me know. I don’t want you to keep doing this because it feels like you’re ripping my heart out and if that’s what love is, I don’t want it.”

Harry didn’t answer still, even with his expression softening.

“I don’t want false hope anymore if you’re only going to keep taking it away. I agree that I never once stopped you before when we did something, but that’s only because I wanted you. I wanted it every single time and I’ll want it tomorrow and every day after that because it’s you. I only want you, Harry, even though we’ve been broken up for months now. Things haven’t changed. You know for me that it’s always you and after all this I know for you, it’s always me, too.”

His voice was shaking and his eyes were stinging as he was pouring his heart out to Harry, hoping he’d say _something_ , but Harry didn’t say a single word. There was nothing more disheartening than that -- knowing that no matter what Louis said or did, it didn’t make a difference because there was no response -- at least not the one he wanted. It was hard, but he knew he had to say what he did. When Louis sniffled and wiped at his cheeks, Harry looked up at him.

Their gazes met for a moment and Louis knew it was a lost cause. Harry had decided what he wanted last May and there was no changing it.

“I’m sorry,” Harry said at last, his voice breaking.

Louis watched in silence as he quietly put on his clothes and made his way out of the tent, zipping it up behind him. Louis pulled on his own clothes, too, his vision blurring from the fresh tears springing in his eyes. He turned over, grabbing whatever shirt he could find and pulling it on before lying down. He silently cried himself to sleep through the noise of the crowd, the loud bass of the music, and the beat of his heart thudding deeply against his chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did u like? let me know! ill be back next week :)  
>   
> [tumblr](http://softasurcheek.tumblr.com/) / [fic page](http://softasurcheek.tumblr.com/yail) / [chapter post](http://softasurcheek.tumblr.com/post/143959073580/fic-you-are-in-love-author-wildestdreams)


	30. the one with the goodbyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please read end notes! thanks to [mac](http://realitybetterthanfiction.tumblr.com/) as usual!

 

With September came rain, dreary, grey skies, and a looming bittersweet feeling over everyone because gone was sunshine and fun and games. They were all buckling down and finally getting serious about post grad life now that they were done with all the freedom of summer.

El and Louis’d finally finished completely moving into their new flat and it felt as homey as ever. The two of them decorated it to their hearts content, getting all kinds of nice things to hang and place around the flat, and even putting up a collage of pictures on a wall behind one of the couches. The pictures ranged from their days in secondary school together to the last year of Uni, as well as summer. It was Louis’ favorite part of the flat and whenever he found himself passing by and looking at it, he felt waves of happiness, revisiting all those memories, but most of all, nostalgia.

As far as the others went, Barbara had found no new flats, but was supposedly getting a huge promotion at work. El, on the other hand, had started her bar exam training over at the University of Law. Zayn scored a small job at the bookstore near campus while working on some personal art pieces that he wanted to submit to a show sometime later on in the year. Taylor was freelancing with several online magazines. Ed was still working on the music front, performing here and there, while songwriting. Niall started up his internship at the Metropolis and constantly got to meet all these stars and get into all these private events. And Liam had bid them all goodbye when the month began before leaving for Crawley for his internship at Virgin Atlantic. They each hugged Liam for a full five minutes before letting go and making him promise to come visit in a few weeks, which he did.

As for Louis, he was still looking for a job while helping out one of Dan’s family friends in his office in North London, which was an annoying commute and little to no pay. He was desperate at this point and had taken it when he realized that his job application process was going nowhere. It felt endless, the amount of applications Louis filled out every day, callbacks he got for interviews only to not hear from them for days. El told Louis that wasn’t unusual and that if he continued to try, then he’d get something eventually. So, he did.

He’d spend his days filing cabinets, making copies and asking if anyone needed coffee during conference calls. At night when he got home, he’d work on his applications until he literally couldn’t repeat what his experiences, strengths, or weaknesses were. It was frustrating and he definitely didn’t expect to be doing this for this long after graduating from Uni. Days where it got really hard made Louis wonder how much of a mistake it was to not aggressively check in with the company he interviewed with back in July in Manchester because they had been promising. They’d shown some definite interest in Louis, but he didn’t follow up with them or anything. It was utterly stupid of him now that he thought about it to have given up so quickly on that opportunity after Harry asked him to stay. However, it wasn’t all Harry’s fault -- there were times where Louis blamed himself, too, more so than Harry.

All in all, September wasn’t shaping up to be a great month.

Everything felt hard and difficult only because so much was changing, but Louis was still struggling with the same things that he’d been struggling with back in May -- he was still heartbroken and distraught about his breakup with Harry and he was still unemployed. He’d thought that as summer progressed, he’d have gotten some improvement in either of those areas, but he felt like he’d taken a few tentative steps forward and then several back. It was that and the feeling that Louis constantly needed to be going _somewhere_ and doing _something_. Sitting idle and being bored with nothing to do only felt good when he actually had things to do.

Louis knew his end destination was a long way to go, but he’d hoped that he’d still be making positive strides towards it while also being happy because that was one of his end goals as well. He wanted to be happy -- he wanted to not be so upset over someone who kept hurting him and who he kept hurting and he wanted to be his old self again, but he was still trying to find it.

When Louis’d said as much to El, she told him something that he kept with him on the days when it felt like time wasn’t flying and he was stuck. She’d said that a lot of them were completely lost -- especially at this age -- and might not always know where they were going or who they completely were. That in itself was a state of mind and Louis was determined to move past it.

 

+++

 

Louis ran a hand through his hair, trying to dry off the bit of rain that had gotten on it during the walk over. he was just on his way back home from work when Harry had texted him for coffee and it started drizzling. It was really inconvenient since Louis’d stupidly forgotten his brolly this morning and hated getting wet from the rain.

He wasn’t quite sure what Harry wanted to talk about considering they hadn’t spoken a single word to each other since Harry’d crawled out of their tent that night in Leeds. Louis remembered crying himself to sleep only to wake up and find Liam spooning him from behind while El was on his other side, both holding him safely. He’d woken up in tears again, feeling overwhelmed by their love and broken from the night before. On the trip back home, Louis avoided Harry and Harry did the same to him.

That had been almost two weeks ago and since then Louis had been actively trying not to think about everything that had happened. Louis was upset with Harry and wanted something to change between them -- for the better. He didn’t want games, confusion or mixed signals and if Harry needed time to come to that conclusion then maybe this was good. Louis was curious to know what Harry wanted to meet him for and what he was going to say. He felt positive going into it and almost a little hopeful. What he’d last said to Harry before everything spoke volumes about how he felt about him and what he inevitably wanted. He was hoping that maybe Harry’d given it some thought and came to a sort of realization.

When Louis walked through the coffee shop doors and looked around, he’d realized that Harry and he had never actually sat down inside and spoke. It was always by his car or something. He spotted him sat in a small table in the corner by the window, staring down at his phone. Just the sight of him after all these days had Louis’ heart hammering in his chest. Harry looked just as good as he always did, wearing a worn, burgundy jumper and torn black jeans.

“Hi,” Louis said, approaching the table slowly.

Harry looked up, startled for a moment, before he smiled tentatively. “Hi,” he said as Louis took a seat in front of him. “You alright?”

Louis nodded, still feeling icky from the rain outside when he felt how wet his coat was; the rainwater was seeping into his trousers skirt and he hated that. “Just got a bit wet out there. No biggie.”

“Did you -- did you come from work or something?” he asked, eyeing Louis’ outfit in curiosity. It was standard office clothes that Louis was required to wear, despite the fact that he was the temporary intern that did all the bitch work.

“Sort of,” Louis said. “I got this temp thing because Dan knows someone. It’s nothing official. I haven’t gotten a proper job yet, so.”

“I’m sure you’ll hear back from somewhere,” Harry said, encouragingly.

Louis shrugged lamely, giving him a meek smile because he’d heard that too many times now for him to take anybody seriously, even though he knew they meant it. “Let’s hope. How’s school going?”

“It’s good,” Harry said before coughing into his fist a few times and clearing his throat. He looked at Louis apologetically. “Sorry, I caught a bit of a cold.” He coughed again and Louis found himself getting worried. He hoped Harry wore something over his jumper because Harry was the worst when it came to properly bundling up when the weather got too cold. He was always walking around with thin jumpers and no coat on.

“You alright? Should I get you anything?” Louis asked him.

“I’m fine,” he said, coughing once more and giving Louis a smile. “Right, so yeah, school’s good. Feel’s a bit weird because I’m not used to this surrounding, but I quite like it. It’s different.”

“That’s great,” Louis responded. “El started, too, and she’s already crammed with her studying.”

“Wouldn’t expect anything less from Eleanor,” Harry teased, smiling as he looked around the coffee shop. “Hey, I’ll go get us some coffees, yeah. Unless you’d like tea?”

“Coffee’s good,” Louis said.

Harry gave a quick nod before standing up and getting in the queue to order. Louis rubbed his cold palms together and let out a soft breath, wondering what the whole point of this meeting was. Small talk was done and over with. It felt odd to just talk about what they were up to when their last conversation was so loaded. Louis’d poured his fucking heart out to Harry and Harry’d left without a single word. That was completely uncalled for and yet there was a part of Louis that still hoped he’d do something -- that still had some sort of faith in Harry.

Louis just knew deep within him that Harry felt the same way and if they talked about it, something could be done. Maybe it was desperation from the few bad days Louis’d been having, but he wanted this more than anything. They could hash things out and start over -- maybe Harry could tell Louis what he couldn't back in the tent. This summer more than anything, despite all the fights and arguments, was eye opening. The two of them just didn’t work as friends anymore because they were still in love and that had to be a good enough reason to get back together because Louis was still hoping it was going to be him and Harry in the end.

“Here’s your coffee,” Harry said, placing a cup in front of Louis, snapping him out of his thoughts.

“Thanks,” Louis said, wrapping his palms around the cup to warm them up. Harry sat back down across from him and sipped his coffee, looking out the window for a moment before turning back to him.

“You’re probably wondering why I called you out,” he said slowly, placing his coffee back on the table.

Louis nodded slowly, trying to decipher his tone.

“I had a lot of time to think after Leeds,” he started. “I mean, things have been sort of crazy with school and I have been busy, but I did think a lot about things -- about you mostly, us and everything, Lou. And at times, it felt so huge and overwhelming only because this is so important to me. I won’t try to hold back or beat around the bush -- just want to be completely honest with you.”

Louis nodded, “Yeah, okay.”

“Louis, I -- I’ve felt terrible every single day since Leeds...and maybe beyond that, too. I’ve felt terrible every time I fought with you or made you cry and I never want to do that again. And it took me this long to realize, in class during a lecture on criminal cases of all places, that I had to tell you. I need to explain to you because I couldn’t fucking go on like this -- with this weight on me about us.”

“Explain what to me?”  

“That I can’t -- like, I can’t do this anymore. I can’t go on with this physical ache and longing that I have for you. It’s so much all at once and I can’t do it.”

Louis was completely stunned, unable to form a complete coherent thought because what Harry was saying felt all too familiar.

“Before we’d broken up and were apart for a few days, I started to understand completely the intensity and level of my feelings for you...it was more than I thought or admitted to myself. I realized it went beyond anything that I’d felt for anyone in my entire life and that in itself is a bit terrifying. I’ve known you for about a year and yet you completely flipped over everything for me and hearing about the Dean thing was what made me realize that no feeling in this world could ever make me feel as broken as that one did. Because I felt so much for you and I’d thought you felt nothing -- that it was so easy for you to just give up and that _hurt_. I told you that this was something that I was struggling to move past and even though I couldn’t quite look at you that same way anymore didn’t mean I stopped loving you.

“I continued to love you despite the fact that you broke my heart and I wanted to remain friends because even if I was resenting you for cheating on me, I still didn’t want to let you go and that’s where I admit I come into fault. I was selfish, Louis. I -- I wanted you, but I couldn’t decide in what way. It’s probably not surprising to you, but I’m telling you anyway. All summer, I tried to figure out why it was so hard to be friends with you -- like, we were best friends before any of this and we should have been able to continue to be best friends, but maybe it was the fact that I still loved you. I couldn’t look at you and be near you without having you. You feel like home to me.”

Louis was gaping at Harry, feeling paralyzed, and not knowing how to follow up with anything he was saying. Harry looked down at the table, reaching over to place his hand in Louis’ and Louis held on.

“I know I can’t blame anyone but myself for how I treated you this past summer, but I wanted you to know that it was so difficult for me to differentiate how I was supposed to be acting. On one hand, I wanted to keep you around in my life forever and on the other, I was so besotted with you that I couldn’t tell right from left. I needed you and I don’t want you to think that I was trying to use you for anything, like your body or anything, because it went beyond that. Every single time that we were together last summer meant so much to me and I think after we’d cross our boundaries was when the realization would kick in that I was a fucking arsehole who couldn’t make up his mind and that wasn’t fair to you.

“It was mostly why I tried to keep to myself instead of reaching out to you beyond that. The few times we met felt so confusing and I -- I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Louis. I was so out of line and that night at Leeds, I couldn’t stand myself. I hated myself so much for making you feel that way. I never wanted to put you in a position where I was the one who was hurting you and didn’t know how to help you. I don’t know if this all sounds like bullshit or not, but it’s true. And I’m sorry. Like I said, I’d spent a long time thinking about it and I don’t want to be selfish anymore...not when it comes to you.”

“How?” Louis asked him, his throat dry and raspy.

“I think that we shouldn’t see each other anymore -- at all,” Harry replied, his voice quiet and pained, making Louis’ heart drop to his stomach. Harry’s eyes were glassy, a soft hue of pink around the edges and his brows furrowed. Harry continued, despite not being able to meet Louis’ eyes. “Being friends is clearly not working if I can’t stay away from you or act like a proper friend. It’s only getting messier and I hate that. I hate that I’m hurting you.”

“Why -- why does it have to be all or nothing?” Louis asked. “Why can’t we work something out? Have you not yet -- are you still mad about Dean?”

“I’m not mad about Dean,” Harry said firmly, finally meeting his gaze. “It just feels insane to go back to that when so much happened. This goes beyond the Dean issue -- I feel like we don’t know how to be around each other anymore. You bring out the absolute best in me, but you also brought out the worst and I’m not blaming you. I didn’t know I could get that ugly, either.”

“I just -- I don’t understand,” Louis said, his voice shaking.

“I want to make things right for you -- want to do something good. I don’t know where we went wrong, but it feels like things kept getting worse one after another ever since we broke up. I don’t want to put you through anything anymore. I can’t even recognize myself when I’m around you and love’s not supposed to do that. You said it yourself. This isn’t what love is.”

“But I do…,” Louis’ voice trailed off along with what he was going to say, though he had a feeling Harry knew. _I do love you._

“I do, too,” Harry said softly. “I’m sure that we’ll see each other, though, I’d prefer we didn’t. Just -- not for a while so we can get used to everything. And then maybe we’ll meet again when we’re a bit older and over this...when our minds are less muddled and we’re different and better, and actually know how we feel. Because like I said, Louis, you’re so special to me and we mean something to each other, right?”

Louis gave a small nod, still trying to keep up with the conversation.

“When things are better, we could meet and I’ll always still be right here for you and you’ll be there for me, too. Right now is just not a good time...we aren’t healthy for each other.”

Harry let his voice trail off and Louis knew he was waiting for him to say something. He’d said his piece and now it was Louis’ turn

And there were a million things Louis wanted to say obviously. He wanted to scream and shout and ask Harry _why_. Why did he feel like he needed to call Louis up again just to break up with him for a second time? Why was he telling Louis all these heartfelt words that he swore were honest and with good intention, but just felt so casually cruel? If Harry thought that his feelings were intense and that they ran deeper than he thought, then he should also understand that he changed Louis and made him different, only to say he wanted to walk away from it all. That wasn’t right -- it was unfair because what about Louis’ feelings for him? He loved Harry so much and wasn’t quite sure how to feel about this.

However, Louis was tired of fighting. He was tired of fighting about everything and he felt like there was nothing else he could do -- no more promises to make that could ruin them because that was all that they did. What Harry said was true -- the way that the two of them were when they’d first gotten together -- that was long gone and that magic was no longer there. It was tarnished by the things that happened from both ends and there was no point in sitting around and wondering whose fault it was or who did what. They were both at fault. And maybe Harry and Louis got lost in translation or maybe they asked for too much too soon. Maybe they were a masterpiece before they tore it all apart. And instead of fixing it, they both ran, scared that they’d lose each other, only to have it happen anyway.

“I understand,” Louis finally said, unclasping his hand from where Harry was holding it. “I agree.”

Harry nodded sadly, his hand still on top of the table next to Louis’. “Okay, so, do you want to finish your drink?”

Louis shook his head. “I’m kind of over it right now.”

“I know the feeling,” he said, laughing a bit nervously, though it looked forced.

“I’ve got to go, actually,” Louis said. “I’ve got some things to finish at home.”

“Oh, okay.” Harry looked a bit disheartened as he stood up with Louis, the two of them awkwardly shuffling around to grab their things and leave. When they stepped outside of the coffee shop, the rain had increased, but Louis found himself not caring at all.

The streets were busy, people moving and scurrying past them towards wherever they were headed, and Harry and Louis stood rooted in the middle of it all. It was strange how everything that happened to them felt like the biggest deal, but it was actually insignificant in the grand scheme of things. There were so many people and they all had stories of their own -- problems of their own -- yet what they individually felt and experienced took over their entire world.

“Do you need a ride home?” Harry asked Louis, breaking the awkward silence.

Louis shook his head no. “Our new place isn’t too far from here. I think I’ll walk.”

“Alright,” Harry nodded a few times too many, seeming nervous.

“Alright,” Louis repeated. “I’ll -- uh -- um, bye?”

He almost said he’d see him around, but he wasn’t going to be. This wasn’t them saying goodnight, I’ll see you soon or catch you later -- this was saying _goodbye_ , Louis was sure they wouldn’t be seeing each other at all because Harry was pretty set on that. And it hurt. It hurt so much and all Louis wanted to do was run because he didn’t want to deal with this anymore nor did he want to face Harry anymore.

“Bye,” Harry repeated. The two of them stared at each other, knowing that this would be the last time they could and it felt like there had to be more -- there had to be more to it, but it was over. Louis let out a shaky breath suddenly and turned, walking towards his flat and saw Harry do the same in the opposite direction.

That was it. That was the last time Louis’d see Harry and the thought alone was enough to send his heart and mind into a spiral. It was one of those moments in your life where you knew that what you were feeling was going to hurt like a bitch and you’d do anything to let it pass, but it wouldn’t. Not for a long, long time.

He hadn’t gone too far when he’d heard his name being called.

“Louis,” Harry shouted, the rain coming down a little harder.

Louis stopped in his tracks, turning around to find Harry standing a few feet away, people walking briskly past them. His hair was wet now, pushed back, and Louis told himself that the wetness around his eyes was from the rain -- nothing else. Harry looked like he was going to say something more, but then thought better of it and instead quickly closed the distance between them. It was completely instinct the way Louis’ arms wrapped around Harry’s shoulder, holding him tight as Harry looped his arms securely around Louis’ waist and hugged him.

And that -- that was enough to make Louis crack, if only a little. It’d been such a long time since Harry and he shared a hug like this. Back in the day, they’d hug all the time, just because it felt good. It was different, Harry would tell Louis, and he couldn’t help but agree. When they hugged, it felt like okay -- like things were okay and they were okay. And Louis needed this so bad -- needed Harry. He held on to Harry for as long as he could, thinking to himself everything he couldn’t say out loud to him.

This was goodbye, a step to move on and move past everything, but Louis still hoped Harry would remember him and never forget the songs they listened to in his car all those nights, or the things they talked about while the sun came up. He hoped Harry wouldn’t forget their inside jokes or the other things they laughed about until their stomachs would hurt. He hoped he wouldn’t forget Louis’ smile or the sound of his voice or the way he took his coffee or the way he looked at Harry. He hoped Harry wouldn’t forget him because Louis couldn’t forget him or any of those things. Louis was always going to remember them.

Louis wasn’t sure how long it took for them to let go, but when they did, they knew it was time. Harry gave him one last long look before turning around and walking the opposite way, away from Louis and away from what they had. And the first thought that occurred to Louis as he walked home was that their very first kiss was in the rain, just like this, and so was their last goodbye.

+++

It was two AM and Louis still hadn’t made it home. Somehow, he couldn’t quite do it. He’d found himself walking to Hyde Park and strolling from one end to the other, feeling a mix of emotions. It wasn’t easy losing a friend -- it never was and while he knew he’d be okay, he wasn’t fine at all.

Harry had broken up with Louis months ago, but it seemed they had still been reeling from it this entire summer. Something had felt incomplete and torn about the breakup back in May. This time around, it felt more final and real. Louis should have been able to just go home and get on with his life because nothing had changed -- it wasn’t like Louis had Harry before this, but it felt different.

He went through all the different memories he’d made with Harry. He thought about the first time he met him, the first time they really spoke, the first time they went for coffee, the first night Harry opened up to Louis and the first night Louis opened up to him. He thought about all the days in between where their friendship strengthened to the point where it felt unbreakable and like nothing could change it. He thought about the day something did change and they were no longer just friends, instead something more. He thought about the way they fell in love and found themselves deeper in than they thought. He thought about their first fight and the tumultuous events that followed that led to their break up. He thought about this last summer and all the false hope and all the miscommunication and he thought about today.

They’d come a full circle, really. They went from being strangers, to friends, to something more than friends, to lovers, to friends, to something more than friends, to strangers again.

When Louis eventually walked home, it was with a heavy heart and memories of Harry in plaid shirts, laughing with him, and nights when he made Louis his own.

+++

“So, what did you want to meet us for?” El asked Barbara once the waiter took their orders at the Japanese restaurant Barbara chose. “Not that I’m saying you can’t ask to meet us and need a reason other than to see our pretty faces.” El placed her palms under her chin, doing her best adorable face, making Louis and Barbara laugh.

“Of course not,” Barbara said, bopping her on the nose. “But I did call you guys out for a reason.”

El and Louis stared back at Barbara, waiting for her news. She’d sent them a quick group text earlier that day to ask them out for dinner and it seemed a bit spontaneous. Back in Uni, they’d all meet up without a thought whenever and wherever, but since summer, they had to make plans from days before they could do anything with everyone. So, it was a bit surprising for them when they got Barbara’s text, but still said yes because it seemed important.

“I got my promotion,” Barbara began to say. “And it’s -- it’s incredible, guys. I just -- it’s a lot..”

“Which is?” El prompted, nodding her head at Barbara eagerly. “Tell us already. I can’t take the suspense anymore.”

Barbara laughed, covering her mouth. “Alright, alright,” she said. “I’m going to New York.”

“What?” Louis and El cried together.

“New York? When? How?” El asked consecutively.

“Yes, New York. And in about two weeks,” she answered. “The fashion company really liked the work I did while interning and they need someone full time over in New York.”

“Barbara,” Louis breathed out as the news started to sink in. “That’s incredible, but it’s so _huge_. Like, that’s a massive decision.”

“It is, isn’t it?” she asked, smiling sheepishly. “I still feel so right about it, though. Things were feeling a little hopeless here in London and I think if I do this, it’ll be so good for me in the long run. I can make so many connections.”

“How long will you be gone?” El asked.

“Right now, I’m going there for a year, but if I had to extend, I wouldn’t hesitate. Just want to go with the flow and do whatever feels right.”

The two of them sat there completely stunned for a while, not quite knowing what to say. There was so much to ask -- so many details like where she was going to be staying, was she going to visit, etc. But they were too stumped to even do that. Eventually once their drinks were placed in front of them, they were able to talk about it. Barbara told them how she already found a flat in an area called Astoria, which was close to the city where she would be working, and had found a few decent roommates. And she was definitely going to visit for Christmas.

Then something occurred to Louis -- something that none of them touched upon yet.

“What about Niall?” Louis asked. “Are you both doing the long distance thing then?”

Barbara’s expression went from smiling and happy to more dismissed and uncomfortable. “Niall and I actually broke up.”

If they weren’t stumped and stunned before, they were then. The two of them stared back at Barbara with their mouths hanging open in complete disbelief. Niall and Barbara were so, _so_ in love  -- there was no way they’d broken up. Barbara _had_ to be joking. Everything about them was honest and so sweet. Louis didn’t think this would actually happen because they were so in tune with one another.

“Tell me you’re kidding,” El breathed out, her hand on her chest, forever the drama queen. Maybe she should have quit law and taken theater.

“I’m not,” Barbara shook her head, a small, sad smile on her lips. “It was about a week or so ago. A bit after Leeds. I told him about the promotion and what I wanted to do and he was supportive, of course. And we both knew things weren’t really working out here in London. I couldn’t even find a decent place to stay near him. A little time apart wouldn’t have hurt us, but being tied down in that way would affect our personal growth. Niall knows I need to grow and I know Niall needs to grow. It’s not a terrible thing, I suppose.”

“Of course it’s terrible,” El pouted. “I’m sad now. You guys can’t break up.”

“I’m sad, too,” Barbara said honestly. “But, it’s what’s best. We’re both fine, really. We had a great time together and we’re still the best of friends. I just -- I want to get out of here, you know?”

“I just don’t understand is all,” El said after a moment. “You’re both happy together, but you’re breaking up. You don’t even want to give long distance a try?”

Barbara shook her head slowly. “We discussed it -- and like I said. It’s just one of those things that feels right for now. I was distraught at first, too. Don’t think I’m smooth sailing here.” She chuckled, El and Louis smiling sadly. “But I figured that this was life -- you love someone for as long as you can...until you completely run out of love for them. You still love this person through thick and thin, honest and pure, but there comes a time to leave, just knowing that it’s the right thing to do. Niall and I gave our all in this relationship and it was one of the best ones we’ve ever had -- probably will ever have, but it couldn’t have been more than that at this point.”

Louis found himself completely struck by that thought process.

Because though he knew that something always felt incomplete with Harry and him, like they weren’t quite done with each other yet, there was nothing he could do at this point right now. He gave it his all -- Harry gave it his all -- and Louis had to accept it for what it was. You love someone for as long as you can, until you run out and then you let go.

Louis knew hope was dangerous for him at this point, but he couldn’t help but feel that his love for Harry hadn’t quite run out -- that there was still a huge part of him that loved him and probably always would. However, Barbara had made a great point. If time was telling you over and over that it wasn’t right at the moment, then it was best to listen. Yeah, it would be hard to move on and be without one another, but everything healed with time and when your heart finally understood that, then there was no turning back, only moving forward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright, so you're all prob either pissed or you're happy but you're also sad??? let me know how ur feeling, ill gladly talk things out with you. this needed to be done -- this conversation needed to happen and ive found often times in life even though we want someone to be in our lives bc of our history and feelings, we fail to realize how toxic it can be.  
>   
> with that being said, i did promise a happy ending and i've got six more chapters to go! so, please don't lose faith if you're still here! i promise, itll be worth it and i'm doing it as authentically as i can. it only goes up from here in my opinion! to make up for all the angst, i will be putting in all the title chapters for the next six chapters as well as songs in the fic page, so you guys can make up your own theories as to what will happen! sort of like a preview~~ bc things do change from here on out and for the better! :)  
>   
> [tumblr](http://softasurcheek.tumblr.com/) / [fic page](http://softasurcheek.tumblr.com/yail) / [chapter post](http://softasurcheek.tumblr.com/post/144319839295/fic-you-are-in-love-author-wildestdreams)


	31. the one with the birthday wishes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks [mac](http://realitybetterthanfiction.tumblr.com/) for being a gem of a beta :) also **note** i did some shameless lyric dropping in this chapter. call me cheesy and lame, but i was feeling it lmaos

“Hey, Lou. Mind making me about -- say, thirty five -- copies of these? Thanks.”

James, Dan’s friend and Louis’ temporary boss, dumped a large manila folder on Louis’ small desk that was right outside of James’ own larger office before fixing Louis with a warm smile and walking out towards one of the other office rooms. Louis sighed, glaring at the heaps of papers flowing out of the folder. While he appreciated Dan and all that he’d done to help Louis, Louis really fucking hated being the office bitch. Because not soon after James left, Jeremy, the office dickwad who was about three years older than Louis and too cocky for his own good, sauntered over to his desk.

“Lou,” Jeremy beamed in a mocking manner. “Have you got my copies done yet? I don’t have all day, you know? Loads of work to do and I’ve got another batch I need you to start.”

Louis literally wanted to jump up on his desk and attack him. Jeremy wasn’t blind -- he had to see the amount of files on Louis’ desk that he still had to make copies of as well as all the ones with mistakes that he had to retype into the system error free. Obviously Louis didn’t have his bloody copies otherwise he would have given them to him already. No, Jeremy was definitely not blind, just an ugly, mongy pest. Louis had no idea what Jeremy’s deal was or why constantly bothering Louis of all people in the office was a part of his agenda, but Jeremy wasn’t the only downside about this job, surprisingly.

Everything about it was mundane and Louis was sick of it.

He was sick of waking up at seven in the morning everyday and commuting all the way to North London to do a lousy secretary/receptionist job. But it was what he was stuck with and had been doing for the past three months. And if he’d thought the commute during the fall season was a pain, the commute during snow was complete misery. It was freezing cold and Louis was constantly cranky, exhausted and stressed out about several different things all at once. Never mind that it was holiday season because he was never in the mood for anything jolly or festive.

Louis’d expected so much from his life and it seemed like it was giving him exactly what he deserved for expecting too much, because you know what they said -- no expectations, no disappointments. There was nothing Louis wanted more than to just get started on the things he had planned, but life didn’t seem to want to go that way. Instead, he found himself taking on a job that he despised, isolating himself from his friends, and having about thirty existential crises a day. It was definitely not ideal.

The days he felt the worst were when he couldn’t stop thinking about how much better off he was before -- before summer ended, before graduation, before Harry decided he didn’t want Louis in his life anymore.

It wasn’t that Louis was worse off without Harry or anything. He missed him, sure, but he did realize at some point that you couldn’t live for someone who didn’t want to be in your life anymore. And Harry didn’t -- he didn’t come back. The two of them hadn’t spoken a single word to each other since they said goodbye at the coffee shop. Louis’d occasionally see Harry’s things on social media and while it made him feel a bit heavier than most days, there wasn’t anything he could do.

And Louis couldn’t tell if the way he was being was because there was an impending breakdown coming. He hadn’t cried over Harry since that night in Leeds, much to El’s surprise. She was expecting one and Louis understood that because most people associated crying and wallowing with a broken heart, but it wasn’t like that for Louis. He was done crying and screaming into his pillow at three in the morning. What people didn’t understand was that what hurt the most were the little things that they wouldn’t really expect. Such as standing in your kitchen on a Sunday morning and looking at a burnt piece of toast and remembering Harry, fresh from a run, looking at you like you hung the moon and stars. Or getting a whiff of his cologne from a stranger on the tube. Or the sight of dusty sunlight peering through your blinds and not being able to help how much you wished he was right there in bed with you. Those were the moments Louis missed him so much, he didn’t know what to do with himself.

Nevertheless, Louis still powered on every day.

He reminded himself that nostalgia was only there to make him feel like things were better than they seemed and that there was a reason it was in the past, because that’s where it should stay.

 

+++

 

Harry never responded.

Just like they once were and now they weren’t.

It wasn’t like they’d said they’d keep in touch, but it couldn’t have hurt to just indulge Louis a little. He wanted to know how Harry was; he wanted to know what he was up to and how he was feeling. But they weren’t keeping in touch and once they were done -- they were seriously done, it seemed.

It hurt, staring at his phone that night and not seeing a response back, as dramatic as it sounded. When Harry first texted, Louis was elated and it meant more to him than any other wish he’d gotten that day. He lied in bed for hours thinking back to his last birthday and how they were still friends. It was actually around the time Louis was first starting to realize he had feelings for Harry. And as if that wasn’t enough, Louis started thinking about what it would be like if they’d never broken up. What if right then Harry was beside Louis instead and everything in the past few months was just some twisted dream, then Louis’d hold Harry closer than he ever did before so he’d never slip away. Fuck, Louis would have held him a little tighter a year ago if he’d known.

He wondered if anyone could ever bring these sort of feelings out of him because he felt like he’d experienced everything he was going to and from here on out it was never going to be as big as it was before.

+++

Louis got the call from Genisys, an IT solutions agency, in January.

He’d interviewed for them a week prior and they called back to offer him a entry level internship for their company that not only paid, but was guaranteed to become full time if he put in the effort. He had never said yes as quick and as many times as he did on the phone right then, practically on the verge of tears from something finally working out in his favor after what felt like months. When Louis hung up the phone, he was staring at the screen in utter shock, and the first thing he thought of after was calling up Harry and telling him. Louis had to tell him, right?

But then he realized how completely insane that thought was. They didn’t talk anymore -- Harry probably wasn’t thinking about Louis or whether or not he got a job. He was doing his thing, crossing milestones and achieving goals of his own, and he wasn’t reaching over to call Louis, so why should he do the same thing? No, no. That could not be done -- Louis’d look so stupid.

He was also mildly irritated about the fact that Harry was the first person he thought of calling when he wasn’t even in Louis’ life anymore. Louis didn’t think of his family, El or any of his friends. He’d thought of fucking Harry. Times like these, Louis often wished that he’d never met him or woke up with amnesia so that Harry wouldn’t be the first heartbreaking thought he had after everything -- so that he could live his life without the knowledge that there was someone like Harry out there in the world.

Someone as sweet, and nice and wonderful as Harry.

Louis no longer wanted to think back to memories he shared with him because at times they felt inescapable. He wanted to forget that fateful September evening where it rained all day and in his heart, too. He wanted to forget the look on Harry’s face as he told Louis how he felt. Louis wanted to forget about all their dreams and wishes that they’d ever made together. He wanted to forget every stupid little thing, like the way it felt to fall asleep beside Harry because Louis remembered everything.

+++

 

Louis stared at his phone screen for hours, first to decide whether or not he should actually say something, and then whether or not he should follow up with a message. The thing was, though, if Harry wanted to talk, he would have added something more. Louis did make the first move and reached out since Harry had wished him on his birthday, but if Harry responded with one word, then it was obvious that he didn’t seem to want to continue this conversation. He also wasn’t keen on continuing the conversation when Louis reached out on his own birthday.

And it sucked. It sucked because Louis had so much more to say than those few words and Harry summed up his within one. How was Louis to tell him that he missed Harry in a way that would make everyone's heart ache as much as it did his?

How could Louis say _please miss me_ because Louis didn’t know how to be something Harry could miss.

 

+++

It was March -- somewhere in the middle where the days were full of hot sun and a cool breeze, like a soft goodbye to winter and a little taste of summer.

Louis instantly thought of Harry.

He’d always thought that things and places reminded people of others, but never weather. Yet, here Louis was, his mind automatically drifting to soft curls and forest green eyes as soon as he stepped out of the flat. Louis frowned to himself, walking beside El as the two of them headed towards the market to get groceries. She was talking about something or another, but Louis couldn’t concentrate. Not when his hand was itching to grab the phone and dial a familiar number because Harry was filling all his thoughts at that moment.

So, when El asked Louis something that he completely missed, he nodded to her distractedly and she raised her eyebrows in surprise. “Really? You’ll go out with us?”

“Wait -- what?” he asked, now paying attention to her.

“Were you not listening?” she asked. “I said that Ed, Taylor, Dylan and I are all going out tonight with one of Dylan’s friend’s. You should come.”

That didn’t sound bad actually and it wasn’t like Louis was doing anything else exciting other than curling up in his bed with Netflix. He felt a little guilty as well because El had to actually question whether he was serious about going out or not since he hardly did anymore. He’d been neglecting his friends way too much these past few months and this weather was uplifting in a weirdly nostalgic way. So, Louis agreed because it sounded like fun and maybe that was something he needed to get rid of these thoughts of Harry. He knew _why_ Harry was on his mind -- spring was around the time that the two of them really got together and spent those blissful few weeks falling in love.

Later that night, Louis got dressed in something other than pyjamas and office clothes for once, and went to the bowling alley in hopes of having a good night. When he arrived, he found the other two couples and Dylan’s friend sat around two of the lanes that they got for them to play in. Louis quickly exchanged his shoes and headed over to them. If it weren’t for Dylan’s friend joining them, Louis would have probably been the fifth wheel, which would have been a little awkward, but nothing he wasn’t used to. Until he noticed that he was a guy -- and a really cute one at that.

“Louis,” Dylan smiled when she spotted him, pulling her friend along with her. “This is Eli. Eli, this is Louis.”

Louis smiled at Eli, immediately noticing his broad smile and dimples. He had shaggy, dirty blond hair and deep brown eyes. “Hi,” Louis smiled back. “Nice to meet you.”

“You, too,” Eli replied. “We’re teammates, by the way. They picked teams already.”

“Did they?” Louis asked, Eli nodding in response. Dylan smiled at the two of them and went to join her girlfriend by the screen where they had punched in the names for the teams. Louis followed Eli after giving Ed and Taylor hugs and sat down beside him.

The teams were Louis, Eli, and Taylor and then Dylan, El, and Ed. As it began and they all took turns, some of them doing well and others not so much (cough, El, cough), Louis started talking to Eli and getting to know him. Eli had graduated two years ago from University of London and was working at an IT company, much like his, and grew up in London. They both had a love for sitcoms and even liked the same kind of pizza -- chicken and jalapenos. Eli was also witty, making Louis laugh with everything he was saying. It was great because it had been so long since Louis’d made a friend or acquaintance outside of his office and Eli was lovely.

Halfway through the game when Eli got up to go chat with Ed and Taylor for a bit, El sat down beside Louis, smiling all too mischievously. “What’s going on up there?” Louis asked her suspiciously, twirling his pointer finger at her head.

“How’s Eli?” she asked, ignoring his question.

“He’s nice!”

“Really?” she drawled out, smirking at Louis.

Louis cocked his head at her, confused as to what she was trying to say, and then it clicked. He narrowed his eyes at her. “El...what do you think this is?”

“A triple date?” she asked hopefully.

“A triple date?” he asked, not the least bit amused.

El sighed, pausing for a moment, and giving him a fearful look. “Yes. I mean -- it’s been months, Louis. I just really want to see you smiling again.”

“Yeah, but I don’t need a man to be smiling again.”

“I’m not saying that you do. I’m saying it could help. You’re doing fine on your own, I know, but seeing someone like Eli couldn’t hurt.”

“I don’t know,” Louis said slowly, glancing over at Eli, who was joking around with Ed. He was a great guy, but the thought of seeing someone else was a little scary since it wasn’t anything Louis’d given a thought to in a long time.

“What’s the worst that could happen?”

“Nothing. I just don’t know.”

“Louis.”

“El.” Louis sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Let it go.”

El nodded when she realized Louis wasn’t up to talking about this now and stood up to go back to Dylan. Eli soon came back, joining Louis again, and he wondered if Eli knew that they were on a date. Nothing they’d talked about or discussed could indicate whether he did or not because it’d mostly just been getting to know each other. It was also really annoying Louis that El and Dylan just set him up without letting him know because what if Eli did know and Louis was the only one left in the dark? He’d look so stupid if he said the wrong thing.

They continued to bowl, instead of really chatting much, and the game ended up with them as winners since El couldn’t even hold the balls correctly. Ed made a joke about that being the reason she was into girls and then later suggested they all head to the bars, which was where Louis found himself an hour later, squeezed into a booth next to Eli.

And it wasn’t even that Eli was unattractive or not Louis’ type. Louis wasn’t sure what his type was, but had he met Eli about a year or two ago, he’d totally be into him. He was really cute and sweet and made Louis smile in a way he hadn’t in a long time. However, Louis was blindsided into this night and he needed a drink or five to relax because he’d been pent up since he found out. So much for having a good night.

After four pints, Louis was feeling a lot better and the way his arm was touching Eli’s wasn’t making him feel uncomfortable anymore. It was actually really nice and warm. Eli smiled at Louis as Louis gulped down the last of his drink. “You’re going a little fast there,” Eli noted.

“That’s the plan,” Louis replied.

“You’re trying to get drunk?” Louis shrugged, not really knowing how to respond and Eli smiled softly. “Well, how about you slow down.” He stopped Louis from reaching over for another pint. “I want to talk to you without you forgetting what I said to you tomorrow morning.”

“Oh, is that what’s happening?” Louis asked him coyly.

Eli grinned, his dimple sinking in, making Louis’ stomach flutter in a weird way. “That’s the plan.” Louis burst into giggles, amused and feeling taken by him already. Eli chuckled before saying, “How about you and I ditch this joint and head out for a bit?”

Louis looked into Eli’s brown eyes, trying to acquaint himself with them and not recreate the green eyes he was so familiar with, instead. “Sure,” he said softly. Eli grinned; taking Louis’ hand in his and pulling him up to his feet, letting the rest know that they’d be right back. El and Dylan obnoxiously wiggled their eyebrows at them, to which Louis flipped the bird at them, and followed Eli out into the cool night.

He couldn’t tell how long they walked down the alleyway, taking a turn here or there, a little bit uncentered from the alcohol infused heavily in his system. Finally, after seemingly a bit of a walk, they arrived at a little field near the bar. Eli let go of Louis’ hand and smiled at him, reassuringly, before sitting down on the grass and patting the spot beside him. Louis laughed, flopping down on the ground, and turned his head up to look at the stars. “Wow, they are so beautiful.” He said after a few minutes, really taking in the sky. It had been awhile since he had truly just looked up at the night sky and appreciated the stars.

“I know. Weird how they are there every night without fail and yet you really don’t think about it until you just lay down and take it all in.”

Louis nodded his head in agreement; laughing at how deep this conversation was going so fast. “Yeah, I usually am just sitting in my room watching Netflix.”

Eli had laid down next to him at that point, his facial expression showing his interest in Louis’ lively night activities. “No shame. I love Netflix. I actually just started binge watching _Parks and Rec_. Apparently it’s really popular over in America right now.”

Louis smiled at him warmly and yelled, a bit too loudly, “I’m on season four! It’s so good, I love that show! Okay, so. Which character is your favorite?”

Eli furrowed his eyebrows for a minute, almost like Louis was asking him the secret to life or something major. “Okay, okay,” he finally said, putting his hands behind his head, getting more comfortable. “It has to be the Indian guy that is like always coming up with these crazy business ideas and spending his money so lavishly. Like, he opened a club that was full of basically everything a millionaire teenage boy would want in his flat as an adult and bought himself a limo with a pool. Like, who does that?”

Louis laughed at Eli’s description of Tom, fitting pretty true as a description. That character was crazy. “He’s like your younger sibling’s friend that tries so hard to be cool and get along with everyone, but is just over the top 100% of the time.” Eli nodded, agreeing with Louis, and then asked who Louis’ favorite character was. “Oh, I don’t know. That’s a good one. Probably April. She’s fantastic.”

It took Eli a second to realize who that was, but when it finally clicked, he was shocked. “ _April_? Seriously? The one that dresses all morbid and, like, never works and says the weirdest shit all the time? Wow, I’m impressed. She scares me.”

He was right; April was an interesting character on the show. She would never answer the phone at work and said some of the creepiest things, but the character was too lovable to hate. “She is just so honest about everything. How she feels about work, people, and life in general. And easily just let’s things go. I wish I could be like that sometimes. There are just situations that I wish things weren’t as serious and I could move on from them.”

“Yeah, well. Life is a little different at an IT job. You can’t just proclaim your hate for people and ignore work without getting fired. Besides, I doubt being that character is so great. For one, you definitely have more beautiful eyes. ” Louis' laughed at that, realizing how true Eli’s statement was, and his sly compliment.

They talked for a little bit longer about their love for Netflix after work. They even ended up comparing the different types of co workers they had at their IT jobs and laughing at the things annoying people did throughout the day. After Eli told Louis about how he heard one woman just lean out and fart really loudly at work, and then Eli had to act like nothing happened when she immediately asked him for some paperwork, even though it sounded like she seriously shitted her pants, Louis rolled closer to him, laughing really hard at the idea of the situation.

When Louis started to calm down a bit, he looked up at Eli, noticing that he was quietly smiling at him. As Eli reached out to wipe off a tear that fell out of Louis’ left eye while laughing, Louis realized how close they were. He was practically laying on top of him, feeling the warmth from his body and his heartbeat through his chest. Eli slowly moved his hand down to Louis’ cheek, and leaned in to kiss him.

For a second Louis was content, feeling the warmth of Eli’s lips against his, until he realized that it felt too foreign -- too different from before. From last summer when everything felt so right with Harry. Louis instinctively pulled back and started to sit up a bit.

Eli sat up next to him, concern in his eyes. “Everything okay? Did I do something wrong?”

Louis stood up and glanced down at him, feeling a tear form in his right eye, this time not from laughter. “Um, no, it’s fine. I’m sorry, I really need to go.” And then he ran away, past the alleyway, past the bar, headed straight home. Feeling more sober than he had in months. When Louis finally reached his flat, breathing heavily and trying to will his heart to calm down, he made his way to his bedroom, sitting down beside his wardrobe.

Harry’s lavender jumper was still folded in Louis’ bottom drawer along with a few of Harry’s trackies and a white t-shirt. He’d never come back for these and Louis’d never reminded him of it. It was like his own little secret because there were nights where he liked to pull one of these on just because Harry’s smell lingered on them, albeit it was now slowly wearing off. Louis took the jumper out, slipping it on over his white t-shirt and rubbed the fabric around his arms, letting it engulf him.

Eli was amazing. He was great -- so cute, funny, and charming. Louis had absolutely nothing against him because he was nice to him and they were having a fun time, but something just snapped in him as soon as their lips met. The last time Louis’d kissed someone was Harry -- that night in Leeds and he couldn’t remember ever feeling so consumed by someone in every single sense. He never figured that that would be their last kiss -- he never would have thought that nor would he have imagined they’d end the way they did. And even after all these months, Louis felt like it was only Harry on his lips.

The truth of the matter was that people loved you and then left you with scars so that no matter who came along in your life -- whether they be perfect or not -- you’d still have that mark from the person who you wanted more than anything.

Louis wanted to kiss Eli -- wanted to let himself fall for him, but he’d run out on him and probably ruined it by now. Why would Eli want to be with Louis when Louis was still holding on to the look on Harry’s face when he whispered to him that he loved him all those nights ago? Most importantly, why did Harry tell Louis that only to go away in the end? Why was Louis still able to recall the smell of the rain, fresh off the pavement, that night that Harry kissed him for the first time and was able to feel his heart jump through his shirt?

And it was pathetic, but Louis remembered everything about Harry. He remembered the swing of his step, the way he was the life of every party, and always showing off. He remembered how they danced and laughed and drank, unaware of how much time they had. And Louis loved the way Harry hugged his mum, and the way he took his coffee, and the way he walked with his hands in his pocket, and the way he never buttoned all of his buttons and the way he used to kiss Louis when Louis was in the middle of saying something and teased him about how he snored and just that he always knew how to hold him.

However, while Louis remembered all these things, he also had to remember that Harry was no longer in his life anymore. Louis didn’t know him anymore. All Louis knew of him were the pictures he saw from Harry’s Instagram and Facebook -- watching his life in pictures just like Louis used to watch him sleep. And Louis felt Harry forget him more and more each day like Louis used to feel him breathe. It was so aggravating to him that Louis was here, still holding on, and Harry was probably out there doing exactly what he planned. The sun was probably continuously shining for him and it was always a beautiful day. And Louis hoped through the midst of it all, something reminded Harry of him and made him wish he stayed. It sucked because while you could plan for a change in weather and time, you could never plan for them to change their mind.

Louis’ phone started to ring then, somewhere in his pocket, so he fished it out, frowning at the unknown number. Despite that, he answered.

“Hello?”

“Uh, hey Louis, this is Eli. I got your number from Dylan. I just -- I wasn’t sure if I should have called, but I wanted to know if you were okay.”

Louis bit his lip, chewing on it before replying. “I’m fine. I’m actually -- uh, I’m sorry for running out. I just. Yeah, I’m sorry.”

“It’s totally fine,” Eli said. “I completely get if I crossed any boundaries. That wasn’t my intention.”

“You -- you didn’t. It was nice, Eli.”

“Really?”

Louis smiled. “Yeah. It was.”

 

+++

The front door of their building closed behind Louis softly, the wind whistling as he started walking down the road, the sky a shade of navy blue.

It was four in the morning and Louis, for the life of him, could not fall asleep -- _at all_. He hadn’t had this problem in a while. Well, he did, but it was hardly ever this bad to the point where he felt restless to get out and go for a walk at the arse crack of dawn. He could always quell it by getting up and pacing their flat a bit while brewing a cup of tea since they didn’t have a coffee maker at home. It would usually do the trick, but tonight, it just couldn’t. Louis’ heart was thumping in his chest, like footsteps on stairs, and all he wanted was to go out.

Without fighting it furthermore, Louis slipped on a loose jumper, since it was summer, and his shoes before creeping out the door and into the night. It was actually really nice. There was something about the time between late night and early morning where there was nothing but complete and utter silence everywhere. It felt like everything had stopped and you were moving within frozen time.

At first, there was no destination in mind as Louis walked, but somehow, when he ended up at the coffee shop that Harry and he used to go to, he wasn’t quite sure what to think. It couldn’t have been instinctive because they always drove here, but here Louis was anyway -- months later, without Harry. It’d been almost ten months since Louis’d last seen Harry in this exact spot and he couldn’t wrap his mind around the fact that he ended up here -- still reaching out and thinking about him, even though Harry wasn’t there. It was like a part of him was hoping he would be.

Maybe that was the whole point. Maybe Louis could keep some things that they shared and not have Harry. Coffee runs were always done with Harry and Louis knew he’d always associate it with him, but that didn’t mean he still couldn’t do it just because Harry wasn’t with him. And while Louis knew he was okay and he was getting on fine with his life, there were always a series of days where everything turned back to Harry. Louis found himself thinking about him and everything they’d been through. Tonight was one of those times.

Louis slowly made his way into the coffee shop and ordered his usual while also having to actively remind himself not to order another -- Harry’s coffee. Once Louis’ drink was ready, he took it outside, sitting down on a table and staring out into the empty road. He zoned in on the spot where Harry and he always parked and couldn’t help but playback all their memories. There were _so_ many and Louis felt like his mind was running a hundred miles per hour, looking back at all of them, and they were all so overpowering.

If Louis’ life were a rom-com, then this would be the part where Harry would finally realize that he’d made a mistake and he wanted Louis’ back. He couldn’t lie to himself and say he wouldn’t want that, either -- Louis always felt like if they’d just talked and been honest with one another then they could have worked it out somehow. The Harry that Louis knew when they first got together would have wanted that, too. When Louis’d told as much to El, she just looked at Louis sadly and said that people changed and while it was hard to accept that, these things still happened and there was nothing he could do.

And Louis knew that, but he also remembered how it was back then when Harry was still his and Louis was still Harry’s. He remembered how it felt to be in Harry’s arms and feel like it was forever. It wasn’t forever, obviously, because Harry was still gone and Louis was left there pacing in his room until he left his flat, only to come to the one place where memories of him were the strongest. There were nights spent out here where Harry would tell Louis that nothing was going to change, not for them, so was it wrong of Louis to hold on to that? Louis didn’t want to walk out here on his own -- he wanted to see Harry back at his front door just so Louis could tell him how he felt -- that Louis’d been waiting for him since he’d been gone.

Louis wanted Harry to come back to him like he would have before he’d asked Louis out here ten months ago saying it was not that easy, before they had broke up, and before they had their fight. But Louis’ life wasn’t a rom-com and Harry wasn’t coming back. He was out there and he was probably moving on, just like Louis slowly was, too.   

It was so strange and a little fascinating because Louis was sure that there were a million people around the world who were awake like Louis was at four in the morning and also missing someone who was probably sound asleep and had no idea that they were being missed. Louis wondered if Harry knew.

+++

 

The smell of greasy burgers and chips filled the air, making Louis’ stomach grumble in anticipation for when his order would arrive at their table. Across from Louis sat Liam and Zayn while Niall occupied the spot beside Louis. The four of them collectively decided to meet up for dinner since Liam was leaving for Crawley soon to go back to his internship and Louis hadn’t gotten a chance to see him or the other two boys as much. This summer was very different from last because none of them met up altogether as a group since everyone was off doing their own thing. They were either too busy with work or school or they were at their parent's homes for a visit. No one was able to match up their time with everyone else, which really sucked.

“So, boys,” Louis said, wrapping his hand around his cold bottle of beer. “Tell me what’s been up.”

No one spoke for a moment, staring back and forth at each other instead to see who’d go first, before Zayn smiled, speaking up. “I’ll go first. I got a new job at the beginning of summer.”

“Right,” Louis said with a nod. “Heard about that from Ed. How’s that been going?”

“Good, good. I’m a curator at that art gallery I submitted my work to. You came, remember.”

Louis nodded his head, thinking back to that night in February. Zayn had texted Louis weeks prior asking him to go see him at the art show and when Louis did, he made sure to come at the very end right after work because he did not want any awkward run ins with Harry. Their breakup was one of the reasons it made it so hard to keep in touch with these boys because they were his friends as well.

“I’m happy for you, Z,” Louis smiled. “Do you like it there?”

“Yeah. So much more than the bookstore. That was a fucking drag, but this is more my thing, so I’m definitely enjoying it.”

“He’s going to do the next art show as well,” Niall added, sounding proud, like a dad talking about his boy.

“Our little artist,” Liam preened, wrapping an arm around Zayn and hugging him, making the other boy flush slightly, but hug him back nonetheless.

“What about the rest of you?” Louis asked. “Cross any milestones of your own lately?”

Niall shrugged. “Work’s good, but I almost feel sort of stuck there. I’m not doing much more than I was in the beginning, so I’m wondering if I should start looking in other places. It’s a bit mundane most days.”  

“I feel you,” Louis said. “Being an intern or assistant sucks. I get it. It’s kind of like -- wow, I did not just slave through years of school to remember your drink order. Keep working hard -- I’m sure they’ll reward you in some way.”

Niall sighed deeply, taking a sip of his beer. “I hope. Just pray for me that I make it through because I really want to move up this next year, otherwise, I think I’ll just look somewhere else for a job.”

“That’s a smart plan,” Liam said. “If you feel like you’re not going anywhere at your current job for more than two years, it’s best to move on. I learned that from my Dad. Completely professional and reasonable.”

“Might end up having to do that,” Niall replied quietly, looking like he was deep in thought.

Louis turned over to Liam next. “What about you? Crawley treating you okay?”

“Crawley’s great,” Liam said. “I like that it’s a small town -- reminds me of home, to be honest. It’s really different from London in several aspects. Everyone knows each other over there and things are a lot closer and I don’t know -- homier, I guess.”

“Aw, that’s great,” Louis said. “Have you got on with your roommates well?”

Liam nodded in response. “They’re great. Really nice and accommodating since I wasn’t as familiar with the town at first. They sort of adopted me and showed me around until I was one of them. Work’s good, too. I might be getting a promotion soon, so do wish me luck.”

“Of course!”

Liam scratched the back of his head shyly. “I’ve also been seeing someone kind of.”

“What?” Louis cried causing him to startle. “Who? How long? When?”

Niall and Zayn laughed while Liam looked bashful. “It’s not serious -- yet. We’ve just been on a few dates. We were friends first through another friend and then recently, I sort of realized I’m into her so I asked her out and -- it’s been great -- I really like her.”

“I can’t believe it,” Louis said, eyes wide with surprise despite the soft, fond smile on his lips. “Liam Payne, one of the most notorious lotharios of Theta Chi, settling down with a good girl.”

“Cause she’s a good girl and he knows it,” Zayn mumble sang under his breath while at the same time Niall said in an incredulous tone, “I know, right?”

“She really is a good girl,” Liam beamed happily. “Her name’s Sophia and she’s gorgeous. I’ll have to bring her around some time.”

“Please,” Louis insisted. “I’d love to meet her. Tell me more about her, though, you secretive twat.”

While Liam rattled on about his girlfriend, their food arrived and they were well into it when they asked Louis about what he was up to. “Mostly work,” he said, through bites of his food. “I really like it and the pay is great even though I’m still an intern. I’m hoping they make me full time soon, though. And other than that -- not much.” He paused for a moment, taking a sip of his drink. “I’m seeing someone, too.”

The boys all looked up and no matter how badly they wanted to disguise it, their shock was evident and the momentary silence was awkward. They got over it all at once.

“That’s great,” Niall said, looking over at Louis. “Who is he? Tell us about him.”

Louis blinked, wondering if they were just being polite and were pissed or actually interested. Harry was, after all, their best mate. This couldn’t be easy or any less awkward. “He’s nice...his name is Eli. We’ve been dating since April...or May. I can’t remember. Dylan introduced us.”

“That’s good,” Liam said with a warm smile, obviously trying to take away from their initial reaction.

“Yeah,” Louis nodded jerkily with a short, breathy laugh. “He’s good...we’re pretty much the same person, honestly. He does IT like me -- we like the same things and think exactly alike. It’s like dating I’m dating myself.” That got a laugh out of the other boys, Zayn snorting into his chips. Louis smiled, happy to have broken the awkward stance, but not able to forget it. “Listen, guys. I don’t want it to be weird. Like...I know Harry and me --.”

“Louis,” Niall said, interrupting him with a meaningful look. “That’s not the case, mate. We’re not judging you for moving on. Harry and you ended months ago -- nearly a year ago -- and it’s fine. It’s normal, really.”

“Yeah,” Zayn agreed. “What Ni said. I mean it was just a tiny bit weird, but not in the way you think. We’re not hating you about it.”

Louis sighed in relief. “I’m glad.”

“Plus, Harry’s seeing someone else, too.” This time Louis was the one that froze, eyes widening on it’s own as he looked at Zayn in complete shock and surprise. It was hard to even hear Harry’s name when he hadn’t seen him in so long. Zayn looked confused for the most part while the other two stared at them with alarmed expressions. Zayn looked back and forth between all of them. “Did I say something wrong?”

“No,” Louis quickly shook his head. “No, not at all. I just -- I didn’t know.”

“We thought you may have since you see Ed and Taylor,” Niall said, frowning a bit.

Louis shook his head. “They never told me. Since when? I mean, since when have they been dating?” he asked, shakily.

“This past January,” Zayn replied a bit cautiously. “They go to school together. His name’s Jeff.”

“Jeff,” Louis repeated, letting the name roll of his tongue, not liking how it sounded. He hadn’t seen a picture because Harry never posted one, but Louis obviously had to do some snooping. “Is he -- is he happy? Like is he nice to him?”

Niall nodded a yes. “Harry’s great -- fine, even. They got on well and all that. He’s really friendly. We’ve met him a few times, but yeah, from what we’ve seen he’s really cool.”

“That’s nice,” Louis said, trying to stop his voice from shaking.

He stared down at his food as hard as he could, trying to figure out what it was that he was feeling because he couldn’t tell. Louis wouldn’t lie and say that it didn’t hurt hearing that Harry was happy and he was moving on as morbid as it sounded. While this decision had helped Louis move forward in life somewhat easily because last summer just felt messy and confusing, it wasn’t like it became marginally better. Louis had once loved Harry and when you love someone, it was hard to let go.

Louis had so many dreams and wishes when it came to Harry that hearing from his friends that he was fine was difficult because while Louis was okay most days, he wasn’t fine at all. He still walked by the coffee shop. He still thought about their last kiss, how it felt, and the way Harry tasted. Did Harry ever do the same? Did he ever feel lonely despite having Jeff there beside him? Sometimes Louis would start to wonder if they were real because now it felt like they never happened. Was it all just a lie?

There were times where Louis felt cheated by the universe for giving him Harry and then taking him away just because third party got involved and drove them to the point where they had no choice but to end. Harry and Louis complicated each other’s lives too much and they couldn’t be friends in the end because so much was fucked up, that much Louis could accept. And while Louis was seeing Eli and things were great because he was so wonderful to him, Louis should be happy for Harry, too. He should be happy that Harry was able to move on like Louis was, but he didn’t know how to be happy for him. Louis wanted him to be happy, of course he did -- he just still wanted to be the reason.

+++

 

Louis slowly opened his bottom drawer, staring at the few articles of clothes there before pulling them out and packing them up in the small box he’d managed to get. Once he cleared out all of Harry’s clothes from there, he picked up the grey University of London jumper that Eli lent to him about a month into dating when Louis’d gotten cold during one of their dates. He’d still kept it because it was soft and smelled exactly like Eli -- minty and warm. Louis smiled, folding it up and placing it in the drawer and closing it behind him.

It’d been a few weeks since Louis’d last seen the boys and their conversation played back in Louis’ head for a long time. Harry was seeing someone new and had been for a lot longer than Louis’d been seeing Eli. He was happy and Jeff was apparently great and after some snooping, Louis figured out he’d already seen him on Harry’s snapchat a few times, though he didn’t post a picture on Instagram. He was cute and seemed exactly as how the boys described to him, so Louis didn’t want to feel bitter. He wanted to, instead, do something else.

Finally start to completely let go.

Louis wanted to start being strong like he used to be, become his old self again and just move on. It’d been a long year and a lot of it was spent missing Harry, something Louis still did, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t start appreciating his life anymore. He had so much going for him -- a great job, great friends, and an awesome boyfriend. It was fine that he let himself wallow in his own way these past few months, but how long could he keep doing that? He had isolated his friends and was chasing sleep every night. Everyone was worried about him because he was in too deep. Louis was done with that, though, because what had happened might have beaten him down, but he still had a lot of fight left in him.

Louis packaged up the box, writing in the addresses before walking down to the post office a few blocks away. As he handed over the box of Harry’s clothes to the woman behind the counter, he found himself smiling, feeling years lighter. She handed him a slip of confirmation and he walked out of there, taking out his phone as it started vibrating in his pocket. He smiled even wider when he saw who it was.

Louis clicked on answer. “Hey, Eli. How are you, babe?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some of you guys are probably mad and others are maybe happy. idk. there's no way i can predict the outcome of chapters like this. as i said -- i am promising a happy ending. and harry will be back next ch with full on interaction. so no need to worry. what i do want people to get out of this chapter is louis' growth as a person. there's a difference in the louis in this ch as opposed to who you read about in the past few chapters. plz keep faith and as always, let me know how you're feeling. i love talking with you guys :) i'll be back next friday, but if i can manage, i'll try and do an early update!  
>   
> ps: i did post the rest of the chapter titles/songs on my fic page on my tumblr just in case you guys want to go on and see if you can predict how things will turn out :)  
>   
> [tumblr](http://softasurcheek.tumblr.com/) / [fic page](http://softasurcheek.tumblr.com/yail) / [chapter post](http://softasurcheek.tumblr.com/post/144674291155/fic-you-are-in-love-author-wildestdreams)


	32. the one with the coffee run

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **important!**  
>   
>  a few things:  
> 1) thanks to [mac](http://realitybetterthanfiction.tumblr.com/) for pulling through with this long ass chapter. forever grateful!  
> 2) thank u to u guys for ur endless amount of comments and support :)  
> 3) i did some shameless taylor swift lyric dropping again, but i guess it's expected now  
> 4) i wrote a [drabble](http://softasurcheek.tumblr.com/yaildrabble) because a lot of people were writing in to me asking if i'd ever write about harry's reaction to getting louis' package that he sent out last chapter. it's p short, but i think it explains harry's thought process pretty well.  
> 5) this chapter is a good! hope u like :)

“Louis!”

Lux squealed loudly, running straight towards Louis with her arms wide open before wrapping them around his waist for a hug. Louis bent down to her level, laughing as he hugged her back, and placed a kiss on her cheek. “Hey, you,” he smiled. “Miss me?”

“Yeah,” she nodded eagerly. “Loads!”

“Aw,” Louis cooed, hugging her again tightly. “I’ve missed you, too. You’ve gotten so big since I’ve last seen you.”

“Where’ve you been?” she asked. “It’s been ages. Harry’s been over a few times, but he didn’t bring you. Said you were busy.”

Louis’ smile faltered slightly at the sound of Harry’s name since he wasn’t expecting it. He wasn’t really sure how to follow up Lux’s question, so he forced another smile, and nodded his head. “Yeah. I was a bit busy with work and all. I’m here now, though.”

“We’re glad you are,” Lou said, appearing behind Lux. “It’s been a while.”

“It has, hasn’t it?” Louis said, standing up while Lux held on to his hand.

It was September. The fall weather had brought in a soft chill with the bright sun and Louis had decided on a whim one day after work that he really wanted another tattoo. He’d thought for a few days about what he could get before finally deciding and making the trip over to Tom and Lou’s store. He would have tried to find one other than Harry’s friends store, but thought better of it and just came here. Louis trusted Tom and knew that whatever he got done by him was going to be really professional rather than going to a strange place and being paranoid the entire time.

“Looking to get something done?” Lou asked. Louis nodded, gesturing over to Tom, who’d greeted him when he’d first arrived at the shop. He was getting everything ready to sit Louis down and start. Lou looked over at him. “Right, so Tom’s got you sorted, then.” She turned back to Louis with a smile. “How’ve you been?”

“I’ve been good,” he replied, walking closer to her with Lux following. “Just been working since school ended and trying to figure out adulthood basically.”

Lou chuckled, amused. “I remember that age -- it was tough for sure. You seem to be doing okay, though, which is good.”

“Yeah, so far,” he laughed. “How’ve you guys been doing?”

“We’re good. Doing great with the shop and ol’ Lux over there just started primary this year.”

“Did you now?” Louis asked, looking down at Lux, who nodded her head.

“I love it,” she said with an air of maturity that astounded Louis. “We’re learning tons of new things, like the alphabet, but I already know that because Mummy’s already taught me before class. And we get to play a lot and nap a lot.”

Funny as it may seem, but Louis was a bit jealous of Lux, a mere five year old, for her lack of worries and relaxing day to day lifestyle. He beamed at Lux, leading her towards the chair he was going to sit on. “Sounds amazing,” he cooed. “Mind telling me about it while I get inked up? I’d love a distraction.”

“Of course,” she replied, sitting down on the chair next to Louis’ while he situated himself on his own. She was extremely okay with needles for a five year old, but that may be because she grew up in a tattoo shop. Louis wished he were that hardcore. “I’ll keep you distracted since Harry isn’t here.”

Louis’ eyes widened in surprise at her implication and laughed nervously as her parents looked to one another in panic. They obviously had heard, so this was a bit awkward. “Uh -- yeah. Exactly.”

Lux prattled on the entire time Tom worked on Louis’ tattoo. She told him about her school days, her friends, and what her favorite things were at the time -- the color purple, a show about an elephant and a rat who were best friends, and her new blue dress. When Tom was done, Louis said goodbye to Lux because it was time for her to go to bed and he’d kept her busy long enough. Tom bandaged up the tattoo and smiled at Louis.

“It is what it is,” he repeated, gazing down at the words on his chest. “Any meaning behind it?”

Louis smiled, looking down at the tattoo before shrugging. “Just a reminder of what I needed for the past two years.”

Louis absolutely loved the tattoo and loved that he got it even more. It symbolized a lot of things, but most of all his strength and where he was today. He’d lost someone he’d never expected to lose and in the process, he sort of lost himself, too, and somehow that was worse. There were a lot of bad days and while they seemed almost unbearable, Louis somehow got through whilst reminding himself of who he was and wasn’t. He wasn’t his mistakes nor damaged goods. He was made up of things he’d learned and he was wiser from his experiences. And he was someone who went through a bunch of rainstorms and kept walking. Louis now believed that his pain made him stronger and that sometimes it was what it was.  

+++

Eli shoveled a handful of chips in his mouth, his eyes trained on the screen as they watched the new _Insidious_ movie on bootleg DVD. It was pretty spooky with several jump scares, but Louis couldn’t quite concentrate due to the amount of things running through his head. Things like the conversation that Eli and he’d been close to having a couple of times these past few weeks, but they weren’t really getting around to because it was easy to ignore and difficult to bring up.

Louis didn’t think he could ignore it anymore, though.

“Eli,” he said, pausing the movie.

Eli turned to look at Louis, eyebrows raised in confusion, and Louis instantly felt guilty. He seemed _really_ into it and here Louis was, pausing it, and trying to have this tough conversation. Louis would let him finish it after, though. He wasn’t that cruel. Plus he’d gotten Louis McDonald’s. It was the most he could do. “What’s up?” Eli asked, putting down the bowl of popcorn on the coffee table in front of them.

“I wanted to talk,” Louis said, concentrating on the remote in his hand. “I think you know about what.”

“Sort of,” Eli said, his voice wary.

“Things haven’t really been the same between us,” Louis said slowly. “Well...they haven’t really changed is the thing.”

“Yeah,” Eli scratched the back of his head, stretching his arm. “I know what you mean. I just don’t know how to fix it, I guess.”

“I don’t think there is a way to fix it. Eli, we’re pretty much the same person. If we’re not working as two people in a relationship, it doesn’t mean we aren’t working as friends, but that’s just the thing.”

“So -- you want to be friends?”

“We already are friends!”

Eli laughed -- he was actually laughing in the midst of a break up. _Oh my god_.

“You’re right. We are. We’re like friends with benefits, then?”

“Okay,” Louis said, starting to smile himself. “I would hardly say we’re friends with benefits, but it just -- it doesn’t feel like a relationship at times. You’ve become one of my best mates and I love having you in my life. No one understands the woes of coding like you do, no one likes chicken and jalapenos on their pizza like you do – we’re so compatible, but I just don’t feel like this relationship is really going anywhere.”

Eli sighed, looking at Louis from the opposite end of the couch. Their legs were tangled under the blanket Louis’d pulled over them and it was comfortable. Had Louis not brought this up, he’d have probably somehow ended up on Eli’ side and they’d have cuddled, but there was just no _fire_. They had no _real chemistry_ other than their friendship and it just kept fizzling out the more time passed for them.

“I do agree,” he said. “So, do you want to break up?”

Fuck -- this was actually happening. Louis sighed, nodding his head. “I think we should, yeah. It doesn’t have to change anything, though. We can still be in each other’s lives, right?”

“Of course, Louis,” Eli said, a small smile on his lips. “I’d be surprised if we weren’t.”

“Good,” Louis said, letting out a sigh of relief. “I was scared you’d tell me to fuck off or something.” Eli laughed, throwing his head back on the headrest of the couch. Louis kicked him underneath the blanket, pouting his lips a little. “Don’t laugh at me, you arse.”

“You know what? You’re right. Fuck off. I never want to see you. I’ll be back tomorrow to drop your shit off. And take off that jumper -- it’s mine.”

“Stop,” Louis whined, kicking him some more until Eli pulled himself up and tackled Louis on the other end of the couch.

The two of them were laughing, wrestling around, and it was probably the best breakup Louis’d ever had. And that had to mean something. These past seven months with Eli were fun, no doubt. They had amazing dates where they did some of their favorite things. They got to know each other’s families; got to know each other’s friends, and Louis’d found a real, true friend. But he wasn’t Louis’ soul mate and Louis wasn’t in love with him.

+++

 

Louis’ mum had another pair of twins -- this time a girl _and_ boy. They were both the size of human beans when they were born, but as time passed, they continued to grow and Louis sort of needed them to stop. He loved how tiny they were and he loved watching them talk gibberish and fall every time Louis held them up by their tiny hands and let go. And being their oldest brother, he definitely tended to spoil the two, bringing them all kinds of gifts from things they need to things they don’t really need, but he gets them anyway.

It was Christmas time and Louis’d come home for the holidays. He was sat on the floor with Ernie in front of him, giggling at every silly face he pulled when his mum walked in from the kitchen, having just taken care of dinner for later. She smiled, sitting down beside Louis and gazing fondly at her two boys.

“How’ve you been, love?” she asked. “Everything alright back in the city?”

Louis nodded his head. “It’s fine. Work’s good. El’s good. Eli and I are good, too. I still see him all the time. It’s as though nothing has changed.”

Mum smiled warmly. “You should bring him around again. He was so lovely. Dan absolutely adored getting to know him.”

“Sure. I’m positive Eli would want to come as well. He loves you guys just as much as you love him.”

Mum hummed in response, letting the silence take over for a few moments before speaking up again. “How are your other friends from uni? The boys, Taylor and Barbara.”

Louis lifted Ernie off the ground and propped the baby down on his own lap. “Taylor’s good. She’s writing a book of essays at the moment,” Louis started to reply while letting Ernie take his fingers into his tiny fists. “Barbara’s still in New York -- came back for a month or so over summer before moving again. She really likes it there and wants to do a few more years. As for the other boys, they’re good, too. I mostly see Ed since Taylor and Eleanor are inseparable. I met up with Liam, Niall and Zayn a few weeks ago. They’re doing great, too.”

Mum smiled, nodding along in acknowledgement as Louis told her. He watched her hesitate before asking the next thing. “And Harry? Do you hear from him at all?”

Louis tried not to let himself feel affected at the sound of his name, continuing to play with Ernie, while shaking his head no. It was just that he hadn’t talked about Harry in a long time and as strange as it was -- he wasn’t in Louis’ thoughts every single second of the day. Louis did his own thing and day by day it felt more and more like Harry was fading away. Louis would only think of him if he actively tried to, which he didn’t, and at first it was hard, but nowadays he’d only think of Harry before he went to sleep. It felt like Louis was finally getting somewhere, but if he heard Harry’s name out of the blue or saw a picture, it was like none of that mattered. And suddenly Louis could remember how Harry smelled, the sound of his voice, the look on his face when he was coming, and what his favorite breakfast was.

“He wished me happy birthday, but that’s about it.”

“And are you okay with that?” His mum prodded, looking more concerned than he was expecting her to. She was coming out of left field with these questions and Louis genuinely wasn’t anticipating them. They hadn’t spoken about Harry since graduation.

Louis shrugged, clutching onto Ernie for comfort. “It is what it is. I can’t really force him to speak to me if he doesn’t want to -- and I mean -- at first it really bothered me because I really loved him, but now I know that it’s a lost cause.”

“You did...you really did love him very much. I could tell from the way you looked at him or spoke about him. It was different.”

“It was,” Louis agreed softly with a small smile. “Strange, too, because we weren’t really together that long nor had we known each other for years.”

“Yeah, but time doesn’t really measure love, does it? I’ve heard that you could be with someone for two years and not love them, but be with someone for two months and feel everything with them.”

Louis stared at his mum, getting this irrational feeling to sit down on her lap and have her coddle him like he was doing to Ernie because Louis could feel his heart start to get heavy again. He knew she wasn’t trying to open old wounds. She was just trying to talk, but what she said was extremely true and hit too close to home. Louis’d been with so many boys for so much longer and yet nothing of how he had felt for them matched up to how he felt for Harry in such a short amount of time. Just because they didn’t have the days didn’t mean their love wasn’t real. It was more real than anything Louis’d ever had with any other boy.

“Louis, can I ask you something?” His mum asked softly and he nodded at her. “Do you still love him?”

Louis should have been able to answer right away-- should have been able to adamantly shake his head and say no because it’d been months and Louis had moved on -- but he was silent. He couldn’t lie to my mum. He’d never been able to do that, so it felt staggering for her to ask him that when it was something he hadn’t actively thought about in a long time. Louis was able to move on from Harry, but there were nights where he’d dream and they’d always be of him. Louis would always be able to wake up the next morning and push those dreams and thoughts aside, but they would come back another night just to remind him.

And maybe that was why his mum was asking him, because Louis was her son and she knew him better than most. She knew he wasn’t as okay as he said he was.

“I don’t know,” Louis eventually replied. “I mean...I’m over it. I promise, I’m over it, but it still hurts, you know? It hurts to think about him and think about loving him, so I don’t. Not anymore.”

Mum moved up from her seat and scooted closer to pull Ernie and Louis into a hug. “I love you,” she said, kissing the side of Louis’ head. “My strong Lou bear.”

+++

It was on a snowy January night that El came home, bundled up in her coat, scarf and hat, with a red nose and cheeks, but not from the cold. She was crying and after asking her for five minutes what happened Louis came to know that she and Dylan had broken up.

Louis had managed to somehow take a sobbing, hysterical El over to the couch. She took off her outer garments through heavy tears and curled up with her head on Louis’ lap, crying harder than he’d ever seen her do before. Louis ran a hand through her hair, trying to soothe her as best as he possibly could while whispering encouragements to her -- _it’ll be okay, you’ll be okay, I promise_.

It wasn’t surprising that the two of them had broken up. Somewhere since last summer, things had been getting more and more strained between them due to the fact that they went to different schools and had different plans for once they were done. On top of that, Dylan took a job and had even less time to spend with El, which led to so many nights ending in a fight and while they eventually did make up, it was only temporary.

It broke Louis’ heart because he knew they loved each other so much and tried _so hard_ to make it work, but he supposed it just didn’t work in the end.

“Louis,” El sniffled after some time.

“Yeah, babe?” Louis asked her, softly.

“When does it get better?” she asked him, shaking visibly through her words. “When does the ache go away?”

Her question brought tears to Louis’ own eyes. Partly because his best friend was hurting and he couldn’t do much for her, but mostly because he knew exactly what the ache was and that there was just nothing you could do to immediately make it go away. Broken hearts were tricky because people searched for that immediate remedy, but there was none. Nothing could fix it except for time and that in itself was so difficult. How long were you expected to carry around this pain in your heart?

And even then -- if you really loved that person, you don’t ever fully let go. You don’t stop hurting and you don’t stop loving them. They would always be a part of your heart and none of it truly goes away. The only thing to do is just keep living your life and try to push that part of your life back so that it didn’t take over every day of your life. Eventually, one day you would realize that you’re finally okay and while it still hurt and you still missed that person, you don’t completely remember the details. Your brain doesn’t subconsciously remember their smell or the way their mouth tasted or how they felt against you or the sound of their voice. It would start to feel like a lifetime away and it seemed like you had become a completely different person. And then you’d be alright.

“You just give it time, El,” Louis said at last, wiping her tears, while his own were trailing down his cheeks. “Give it some time and you’ll be okay.”

El sobbed, gripping onto Louis’ leg and hiding her face on it. “It hurts so much and I just want it to stop. I want her in my life so badly -- I love her so much, Louis.”

“I know, babe, I know,” Louis cooed, trying to keep his composure as he held on to her tightly, placing his head over hers. “I know you do. And she loves you, too.”

“She told me she did when we said bye. It’s so fucked up...we love each other, but can’t be together. It’s just not working.”

El continued to cry, holding onto Louis that entire night, and he didn’t notice when she fell asleep because he was too caught up in his own thoughts, running back what El said to him right before.

_It’s so fucked up...we love each other, but can’t be together. It’s just not working._

Louis knew that all too well and he agreed -- it did fucking suck. And he realized that next morning as the sun peeked up that not everything is meant to be beautiful and everlasting. There were going to be people you met in your lifetime who would change it in some way or another -- whether it be to show you right from wrong, help you recognize who you are and who you can be, teach you to love yourself, teach you to love in general, and even just be someone you could confide in for a night. Not everyone is meant to stay with you forever and while that was difficult to accept, it was important to keep going and appreciate the time you got to spend with them.

+++

Louis stared at his phone screen having written Harry’s contact in the send option, trying to figure out what to write.

It was Harry’s 24th birthday and Louis couldn’t figure it out for the life of him whether or not he should say something. He typed several things only to delete them all in the end.

_hi, how are you? happy birthday!_

_it’s been almost 2 years and it’s still only you_

_i know we don’t talk anymore, but i wanted to tell you that i still care about you_

_i think i still love you_

_i’d thought i’d moved on, but…_

_i miss you_

Louis backspaced on every single one of them, opting to cancel out of the messages app and shove his phone in his pillowcase before leaving the room. It was half past three in the morning and Harry’s birthday had started a few hours ago. Louis could only wonder what he was up too...either getting drunk or sitting up in his room, wide-awake. Louis bet he was tired from a long, hard week of revision and he was sitting at his bay window, looking out at the city, and he wondered if Harry ever thought about him in those quiet moments.

What happened just now happened quite often and Louis couldn’t help but struggle with it. It used to be so easy to talk to Harry at one point, but now it was anything but that. Louis just didn’t know what would happen if he did reach out because it broke his heart when Harry wouldn’t respond. Louis didn’t want to say hello and risk another goodbye. The two of them had made a mess, so maybe it was better off this way. And yeah, maybe Louis still dreamed about him coming up to him and asking him to try again, but that feeling wasn’t strong enough to make him reach out, either.

+++

 

Louis replayed Zayn’s snapchat of Harry, eyes widening in recognition. Wrapped around Harry’s head was the scarf Louis’d left in Harry’s sister’s room that time he’d stayed at his parent’s home in Cheshire. Louis’d figured he’d lost it when he was looking for it this past year and a half, giving up on ever finding it when he had turned his drawers upside down looking for it, and it was with Harry this entire time. Shit.

It was just strange seeing it -- seeing Harry wear it.

Louis’d returned all of his clothes back to him six months ago and while he knew Harry might have had some of his stuff, he didn’t realize he’d be using them. Normally when Louis saw Harry’s pictures on social media, he was able to look right past it, but this one knocked the wind right out of him. Probably because it felt like they were close to strangers with some old memories now and had nothing to do with each other.

It was March and just like last year, when the weather brightened up in contrast to the cold winter they suffered through, Louis thought of Harry again. Except, this time he was better at quelling down his thoughts. He felt like he was somewhere stuck between somewhat trying to remember him and also letting him go at the same time. Louis forgot about him long enough to forget why he needed to in the first place. Seeing this picture made that familiar nostalgia crawl back, making Louis scroll back to their Instagram pictures from their Uni days when they didn’t dream about going back in time. Louis wished they could go back to those times when they were actually living them.

The question was -- why did Harry still have this? Why was he wearing it? Did it still smell like Louis? Did it remind Harry of Louis and everything they had?

+++

 

The Roof Gardens was busy as fuck when Louis entered that night. There were people everywhere, standing around and drinking whilst chatting with their mates, and he honestly felt so beyond agitated. He hadn’t gotten a chance to go home before and change since he was already so late to arrive, so he’d shown up in his office clothes; a pair of black trousers, a black short-sleeved button down, and dress shoes. He wandered around a bit until he heard Niall’s boisterous laugh coming from one end of the restaurant.

Louis looked in that direction and spotted him standing beside the rest of the group before sighing in relief. He’d found them. Louis made his way over after pushing past people and greeted his friends.

“Hi,” Louis waved lamely with exhaustion. “Sorry for being late. Work was insufferable.”

“Forget work,” Taylor said, coming around to hug him and kiss his cheek. “You’re here now. Let’s get you a drink, yeah? We’re here to celebrate.”

“Where’s the soon to be lawyer, then?” Louis asked.

“Behind you,” Niall laughed beside Taylor.

Louis turned around, ready to pull El into a big hug, only to be met with someone’s chest -- a chest barely covered with a red, floral, see through fabric. And it should have been weird how Louis let his eyes travel down first rather than up, taking in the tight shirt (barely buttoned, might he add, giving a peek of familiar tattoos) that was tucked into a pair of black, ripped skinny jeans and all paired off with brown Chelsea boots. When Louis finally looked up it was to forest green eyes and a dimpled smile he’d missed all too long.

“Hi,” Harry smiled.

And before Louis could do or say anything, Harry was pulling him into a hug and all Louis could do was try to hold himself together long enough to hug him back. It’d just been so long and he still smelled exactly the same and his hair was so long, it was brushing past his shoulders and he was hugging Louis -- Harry was here and he was hugging Louis. He was _actually_ here. Louis’ grip on him tightened that much more as he slowly started to realize that and Harry didn’t let up, either, only held on tighter.

Louis had completely missed him when he’d walked in. It didn’t even cross his mind that Harry’d come tonight because truth be told Louis thought he’d never see him again. It seemed like a lost cause because everyone knew about them and they always did things separately now. And as they hugged, Louis started to think of something that Harry had said to him back when they’d last met -- _you feel like home to me._

Louis felt like he’d been homesick for Harry for the last two years.

“Missed you,” Louis heard Harry mumble against his ear.

Louis smiled, rubbing the small of Harry’s back and pulling away at arm’s length to look at him. God, he was so, so beautiful. And his hair -- Louis couldn't fucking believe it. “Missed you, too,” he said.

Harry smiled back, pulling away. “Didn’t expect me here, did you?”

“No,” Louis shook his head, unable to keep the smile off his face. “El didn’t mention. I didn’t have much of a chance to speak to her either. Been busy all day, but yeah, this is a nice surprise.”

“Glad you liked it,” Niall said, shooting Louis a mischievous smirk. Something told him Niall had a lot to do with this meeting.

It dawned on him then that if Niall was listening and watching Harry and him reunite, then so was everyone else. Louis chanced a peek at the rest of them and sure enough, they were all silently watching the two of them. It was a bit strange, but not entirely because they’d always been so involved when it came to the two of them -- watched them grow together and then grow apart.

“Harry passed his bar exam as well,” Zayn explained. “When we heard about El celebrating tonight, we thought we’d bring this one along, too.”

“Good,” Louis said, smiling at Harry again. “Congratulations. Looking like a posh lawyer already.”

Harry laughed, making Louis’ stomach flutter with the sweet sound of his voice, and thanked him. El came over to him then, hugging Louis as well and getting him a drink, while Harry wandered back over to the boys.

“So,” she said once he’d walked away. “Is this okay?”

Louis let out a nervous, almost overwhelmed, laugh. “I mean -- I’m surprised. I just wasn’t expecting to see him, but I’m happy. I’m so happy.”

“Really?” El asked, looking a bit surprised herself. “We thought you’d be mad, but Niall kept insisting that you’d never be.”

“I guess Niall knows me better than you.” El looked offended, about to refute with something like the newly minted lawyer that she was, but Louis quickly cut in. “Let’s just have fun, yeah? It’s been so long since we’ve all gotten together like this with him. I wanna enjoy. Celebrate two successes tonight.”

El smiled in agreement and the two of them joined the other boys and Taylor. A waiter soon came around to take their orders for dinner and once he wrote them all down in his pad, he left them to their conversations.

“Alright,” Ed said, looking at Harry and El, both sat on opposite ends of the table. “What’s next for you two?”

El looked at Harry, waiting for him to answer, but he gestured for her to go ahead. She smiled before speaking. “I think I’m going to take a few months off and just relax before starting the year long pupilage. I’m beyond exhausted and feel like I need to do nothing for a while before jumping into all of that. Although, I know after the first two weeks I’ll get bored and jump right back in, but I’ll think about that later.”

“I think that’s a great plan,” Louis enthused. “You need your rest. You’ve done so much in such a short amount of time. You deserve it.”

“Agreed,” Taylor nodded.

“What about you, Harry?” El asked. “It felt so weird not being in the same classes as you these past two years.”

“I know,” Harry exclaimed, laughing. “I would always find myself thinking that wow, if El was here I could have totally slept through lecture and gotten the notes from her, but alas.”

“Oi, you prat,” El pouted exaggeratedly.

Harry laughed. “I’m joking. I really did miss you, though. And congrats on your exam.”

“Thank you,” El beamed. "You, too."

“As for me,” Harry continued, clearing his throat. “I think I want to do the pupilage right away, but only after I find a place where I can. I’ve been thinking of some places, like Manchester and even here, but we’ll see.”

“Solid,” Zayn said. “Isn’t it strange how we’re here, like, two years later and talking about all these adult like things?”

“Completely,” Niall agreed, chuckling. “We’ve all got bloody jobs now and doing adult bollocks, like paying the rent and going to the fuckin’ bank.”

“Have you gone full time at Metropolis then?” Louis asked Niall. He knew Niall was struggling with that company. After interning for a year, they kept him as a temp and it was frustrating him to no ends. He was even considering moving on from them after seeing Barbara and Zayn do that with the companies and people they worked for, seeing as they weren’t moving up in any way after a year or so, either.

Niall nodded in response. “I finally went and spoke to my manager and it was a done deal. Easy as that, can you believe it?”

“Hey, congrats, Niall,” El said, reaching over to give him a hug. “That’s awesome.”

“Thank you,” he replied bashfully, grinning ear to ear. “But as I was saying -- I fucking miss uni, guys. I miss the parties, I miss the frat, I miss our campus.”

“I miss it, too,” El said. “We used to have so much fun. Do you guys remember the scavenger hunt?”

"Yes," they all cried out in excitement, their eyes widening as the memories flooded their minds. That was so long ago and they truly did have such an amazing time that night.

“Hands down one of the best nights of my life,” Louis said.

“I still have the videos and pictures from that,” Ed said. “The naked one always gets to me.”

“I feel like there were a lot of naked ones from that night,” Harry said, making them laugh.

“I miss Lego club, too,” Louis said.

“That club was amazing,” Harry agreed, smiling at Louis from across the table. “Speaking of which --.” He paused to look over at Ed. “Have you told them the news?”  

Ed brightened up a bit and shook his head. “I haven’t, no. But now’s a good time, innit?” Everyone looked at him, waiting patiently for his news. “I got a record deal.”

The whole table erupted in excitement again, everyone leaning over to give Ed a hug and a congratulations. He was beaming so hard, his whole face turned a bright shade of red, similar to that of his face.

“Thanks, guys,” Ed blushed. “It only happened a few days ago, but yeah. I’ll be recording soon and playing a few shows in the States.”

Everyone cheered for him again while Taylor leaned over, placing a kiss on his cheek, and leaving her bright red lipstick mark on him.

Afterwards, they all started bringing up some of the best times from uni, like the Halloween party, the Valentine’s Day mixer, New Year’s Eve, all those nights they stayed in and all those nights they went out. It was like taking a trip down memory lane during dinner and Louis couldn't help but be beyond happy that Harry was there with them to share it. He’d found himself looking over at Harry at times in such disbelief that he was actually there only to have him smile shyly back at Louis. It didn’t feel like we were continuing off from where they left off, but instead starting completely over.

When they were done and all saying goodbye, Harry came over to Louis and hugged him tight. “We should meet up sometime,” he said to Louis when they pulled away.

“Yeah, sure,” Louis said. “Anytime.”

“Sounds good. I’ll see you around,” he smiled. “Goodnight, Lou.”

“Night,” Louis said, smiling back.

 

+++

  

Louis found himself sat on the hood of Harry’s car twenty minutes later with Harry beside him while holding their coffee cups in hand. The last time they’d done this was exactly two years ago this month and Louis couldn’t quite believe it. Their group dinner had been about two weeks ago during May and while Harry and he had promised to keep in touch, Louis didn’t really allow himself to get his hopes up in any way. What would be the point if it didn’t end up being the case, especially when there was a huge chance it wouldn’t have been? Louis didn’t want to sit around and then be upset when it didn’t work out.

But here he was doing something that he’d thought he’d never get to ever again. And when he met Harry’s eyes, Louis started to realize how big this all was -- Harry and him. They’d gone through hell and back yet here they were. Time changed everything and it was clear that they weren’t quite the same people they were when they first met nor the same people they were when they said goodbye, but it felt nice knowing that _this_ hadn’t changed between them. It was easy to slip into Harry’s car and banter the entire way over. Louis had teased him about his little bun on the ride over while Harry threatened to chop all Louis’ hair off, so it was totally casual.

“How’ve you been?” Harry asked him, breaking the silence. The roads were empty as per usual this time of night and the shop didn’t have a single customer inside. It sort of felt like they were the only two people in the world. “Haven’t seen or heard from you since last month. You barely update your social media anymore.”

Louis quirked a smile at him. “Trying to keep tabs on me?”

“I am, yeah,” Harry said without missing a beat. “Had to keep up with you somehow, didn’t I?”

“Wasn’t aware you were keeping up with me,” Louis told him, looking down at his cup, feeling his cheeks warm up. “I’ve been good. Just work as usual. Visited my family a week ago. I go often nowadays actually. They get sad if I don’t.”

“That’s nice,” Harry said. “I should do that, too. Mum gets so cross when I don’t see her as much as I promise I would. School kept me too busy, though. I couldn’t quite find a way to have a social life and balance work as well.”

“What? No parties for the ex-frat boy?”

Harry laughed, his shoulder nudging Louis’. “No, no. Unfortunately I’ve become an adult and can’t do those things anymore. I’m in bed before midnight and up with the sun.”

“I, for one, am surprised.”

Harry looked affronted, brows furrowed in disbelief. “And what about you, huh? You used to down four shots at once and dance for hours. I don’t see crazy selfies from parties from you.”

“Well, yeah, let’s just agree to the fact that we’ve gotten boring.”

“Tragic, innit.”

“Tell me about it,” Louis muttered with a snort. Harry peered over at him curiously, his eyes searching Louis’ face until Louis  broke out into a nervous smile. “What is it?”

“C’mon. In all seriousness...what have you been up to? I want to know about the last two years that I missed.”

“Why don’t you start? Tell me what you’ve been up to. How was school?”

“School was fucking boring and I’m so glad it’s done.” Louis burst out laughing, Harry joining along. “I mean -- like, it was a good experience. I had great friends. There was a core group of four of us who always studied together and stayed up pulling all nighters. They were the closest group of friends I had aside from you guys.”

“They sound nice. What were they like?”

“Well, there was Brad. He reminded me of Niall a lot -- super loud, always making us laugh and a troublemaker. Then there was Luke and Michael -- they were best friends and conjoined at the hip. And then there was Jeff.” Louis froze at the mention of his name while Harry continued on, unaware. “He was older than all of us, but got on with us really well, and was actually the most fun in the group.”

Louis’d been sort of hoping that Harry would bring Jeff up at some point, but wasn’t sure how to get him to without sounding nosey or intrusive. It was why he kept asking him all these different questions that would eventually lead Harry to tell him. Now that he did, though, Louis wasn’t sure which direction to go in. A part of him wanted to know everything while another part of him wanted to remain clueless because he was scared it would hurt. Eventually, he decided to just be honest.

“Jeff -- right. Zayn mentioned him to me. Well, him and Niall and Liam, too.”

Harry frowned like he wasn’t expecting this. “They did?”

Louis nodded his head. “We had dinner last August before Liam left for Crawley and they told me about him.”

“Oh,” Harry said, his voice trailing off.

When he wasn’t saying anything else, Louis spoke up again. “It’s fine -- we’re fine. It’s not weird.”

“No, yeah, I know,” Harry said, nodding his head. “I just don’t know what to say.”

“Tell me about him,” Louis suggested. “He seems nice.”

“He was,” Harry agreed. “Friendly and really attuned with what he wanted in life. I quite envied that about him because I know we all sort of know what we want to do, but not like Jeff. He took it on with so much confidence that it was a little intimidating.”

“He intimidated you?”

“Sort of? Not in a bad way, like, he wasn’t trying to do it on purpose. I think most of the time I just sort of watched him take on everything with bravery and no amount of fear and that was nice to see.” Harry paused, taking a sip of his drink. “We dated about a year -- well, I’m not sure if we really dated that long. He told me he fancied me and asked me out at first.”

“Wow,” Louis chuckled.

Harry laughed, nodding his head with an air of fondness that Louis wasn’t quite sure how to feel about. “Yeah.”

“What did you say when he asked you?”

“I said I’d think about it and then somehow whenever the two of us ended up alone, it just became like a date, and I didn’t really question it after that. We didn’t start labeling it till months after, but Jeff says in his opinion, we’d dated a year.”

“Oh, okay. Why’d you break up?”

“Um,” Harry mumbled, scratching the back of his neck, unsurely. “We broke up last December before Christmas hols, which is really depressing, but I don’t know. We just weren’t on the same page with where we wanted our relationship to go.”

Louis nodded his head despite frowning in confusion.

“He said I love you,” Harry quickly replied when he noticed. “And I -- I couldn’t say it back.”

Louis was rendered speechless. Mostly due to the fact that he had no idea what would be appropriate for him to say after what Harry’d just confessed. It was more honest than Louis’d expected him to be, but Harry was always like that. Neither of them ever had a problem with pouring their hearts out to one another. Though, being his ex-boyfriend, it was an odd position to be in when Harry told him he couldn’t even say I love you to the boy he’d dated so much longer than they did and it didn’t take Harry more than a month to utter those words to Louis.

“It’s fine, though,” Harry said once he realized Louis wasn’t sure how to respond. “Maybe it’s best this way. I’ve started to realize that that’s just life. It can change things within a second and all you can do is just go with it. What was it that you told me once? Curveballs?”

Louis nodded his head weakly with a small smile. “Life throws you curveballs and changes everything.”

“Yeah. And I’ve started to accept that, too. It can be hard at times because I never wanted to hurt Jeff, you know? But I’m sure he’ll be alright.” Harry put his cup between his legs and leaned back on his palms over the car. “What about you? I -- I, uh, heard you were seeing someone, too.”

Louis bit his lip nervously, wondering who’d told him. Maybe one of the boys, but it could have been Taylor, too. “Eli,” Louis nodded his head eventually. “I met him through Dylan. She and El set us up and he’s sweet. We had fun together, but broke up back in October. We’re still mates, though. I see him all the time since we work near each other. He’s like my lunch buddy.”

“Eli,” Harry said, letting the name roll of his tongue. His expression was unreadable and Louis couldn’t help but think of what might be going through his head.

Louis sipped his coffee to distract himself. He wasn’t really sure of what to say next because he didn’t quite know what to tell Harry about Eli. Harry told him a lot about Jeff, but only because he asked but Harry wasn’t doing the same. Harry looked deep in thought, instead, his brows scrunched up together, and his lips in a small pout. When Louis nudged him with his hand, Harry looked up.

“What are you thinking?”

Harry let out a soft breath, sitting back up. “Stuff, I guess. It’s all a bit weird. I know you feel that way, too.”

“I guess, yeah. How can it not be, though? It’s been two years.”

“Do you resent me?” Harry’s expression was serious, looking into Louis’ eyes, waiting for a reply.

The sad part was that Louis couldn’t reply right away. He hesitated, slightly taken aback by his question, and also wondering whether he did or not.

“How do you mean?” Louis asked.

“For ending things the last time we spoke.” Harry answered with a sigh. “You’ve no idea how much I’ve thought about this -- think about this, still. Sometimes I’d be halfway through dialing your number to call and ask, but I would stop last minute because then I’d be going back on my word. I couldn’t do that anymore and hurt you more than I already had. When you texted me and I didn’t respond back -- I hated it and I almost did respond back, but I couldn’t do that. I felt guilty and just always wanted to know if you resented me for everything.”

“No,” Louis said before shaking his head. “I mean, I don’t -- I don’t know. I don’t think I resented you. I understood where you came from and there were times these past two years where I really hated that you weren’t in my life anymore, but I got over it. I understood that this had to be done and that you needed to do it. It’s not like we were worse off, right?”

Harry watched Louis silently; his green eyes bright, and nodded his head. “I never wanted you to resent me for it. I didn’t want you to think it was easy for me, either. I lost a friend -- I lost _you_. What I did that day was probably one of the hardest things I’d ever done and it was killing me. I was so fucking lost for a while. I had no idea how to be without you, Louis.”

“Harry,” Louis said, his voice shaking as he scooted closer to Harry. Harry leaned into Louis’ touch, boring his eyes into Louis’. Louis put his cup down, taking one of Harry’s hands in his and right away Louis’ stomach fluttered with butterflies that he’d forgotten he had. “There was no easy or simple way to do it. I know that. There is never a clean way to end things like this.”

“I tried really hard, though. I tried so hard to keep you around after the breakup because that was the whole point of breaking up. I wanted you to be in my life, but I went and fucked it up. I became so cynical that I couldn’t even recognize myself, so I felt like I had to do it because it was the right thing to do.”

“It’s not like I really stopped you that summer,” Louis said, his voice barely a whisper before looking up to meet Harry’s eyes. “I wanted all that to happen, you know? I was trying to remind you of what we could have if we weren’t broken up -- I wanted to win you back.”

“I’m so sorry,” Harry said, his voice quiet, too. “I’m so, so sorry. For everything. I’m sorry.”

Their faces were inches apart and if Louis just leaned a little forward, they could be kissing, but he didn’t. This conversation seemed bigger than that. Harry looked on the verge of tears and Louis didn’t want to take away from what Harry wanted to tell him because it seemed like something that had been building up for two years.

“I regretted it a lot for a while,” Harry said. “There were days and nights where I couldn’t get more than an hour of sleep because I felt like I couldn’t breathe with the knowledge that I couldn’t see you anymore. I lost so much when I let you go, but I still wanted to go through with it because I hoped we’d see each other again. And that this time we’d both be ready. Maybe I’m too late, but I’d really like you back in my life, Lou.”

“You do?” Louis asked him.

Harry nodded his head. “One of the biggest things I’d realized these past two years was that we were bigger than everything that happened. What happened between you and Dean was so miniscule compared to what we had and it shouldn’t have taken as big of a toll on us as I let it. You mean more to me than any of that and I’ve long forgotten it. I just want you in my life again. I want to be friends again and I want to see you and talk to you again.”

Louis smiled; feeling like he was on the brink of tears himself. “I do, too. I want that more than anything.”

Harry broke out into a grin, pulling Louis into a hug and kissing his cheek, making Louis’ heart beat that much faster. He could still remember the look on Harry’s face when he’d told Louis that one day they’d meet again when they were older, better and different, and that things would fall into place. He’d looked so hopeful then and he looked hopeful now. They’d both grown and had been able to move past what had happened, but what hadn’t changed was how Louis felt about Harry.

And while he wouldn’t admit it -- even to himself -- Louis was still hoping it would be him and Harry in the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what i tell ya? lmao i hope u enjoyed. thanks for reading and as always let me know what you thought!  
>   
> [tumblr](http://softasurcheek.tumblr.com/) / [fic page](http://softasurcheek.tumblr.com/yail) / [chapter post](http://softasurcheek.tumblr.com/post/144987840525/fic-you-are-in-love-author-wildestdreams)


	33. the one where harry sneaks in

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im hella early and it's all bc of the wonderful [mac](http://realitybetterthanfiction.tumblr.com/)! plus, i figured you guys deserved an early update after the hell i put u all through these last few weeks. this chapter is a mix. i dunno if you'll hate me or love me by the end. enjoy!

Eli eyed Louis curiously as he munched on his chips, dipping them in his ketchup, while sitting across from Louis at their table. Louis tried to look inconspicuous and casually sipped his iced lemonade, waiting for Eli to give up and tell him what his deal was. The two of them had met up for their daily lunch meeting and so far the conversation had been limited, aside from the usual catching up on each other’s day at work.

Finally, after Louis fixed him with a withering look, Eli spoke up. “Something’s different,” he noted, without giving Louis anything more.

Louis arched an eyebrow, starting to feel a little frustrated. “What?”

“Something’s different about you. You look different...acting different, too.”

“I am not,” Louis insisted with a frown.

Eli shrugged nonchalantly, smirking down at his food as he continued to stuff chips in his mouth. “If you say so. However, do consider the fact that I’ve gotten to know you immensely well over the past year and a half that we’ve been friends, so, no point in lying to me.”

“I’m not lying,” he sputtered out with a laugh. “You’re delusional. I don’t know what you’re on about.”

“Right,” Eli nodded sarcastically before pitching up his voice several notes higher, like they were two young girls getting ready to gossip. “Is this about Harry, then? Have things been _really good_?”

Louis rolled his eyes at Eli, but was unable to keep the smile on his lips from forming at the mention of Harry’s name. It was like instinct nowadays since things had been so good between them. He shrugged in response to Eli’s question because it wasn’t weird that he was asking Louis about this since Eli and he were well past any awkwardness since their breakup. During their relationship they could tell they were better off as mates than boyfriends, however, they still gave it a shot and lasted longer than either of them had expected. Since then, they’d gotten even closer and were able to have these kinds of conversations. Louis’d told Eli everything about Harry one night during a drunken escapade to Hyde Park and Eli told Louis about his current girlfriend, who he’d been dating for a few months now.

“Things are good, you arse. What are you implying, though?”

“I’m not implying anything,” Eli said, sounding scandalized and offended that Louis’d even thought of accusing him of such. “I’m just asking why you have this glow about you. You look fresh.”

“ _This glow_? I’m not bloody pregnant _if_ that was possible. And what do you mean I look fresh? Had I not looked fresh before?”

“You looked like a workaholic who didn’t know how to have any fun.”

“I know how to have fun, okay?”

“So, is this Harry’s doing then?”

“I knew how to have fun before him.”

“No, Louis. Aside from all the jokes, you look really good. Is _this_ Harry’s doing?”

“I don’t know,” Louis said, sheepishly. Maybe it was, but he wasn’t going to admit that. “We’ve been talking a lot. We text, like, everyday and have met up for coffee runs here and there, but nothing beyond that.”

“Really?” Eli asked, curiously. “That’s it? I’d have thought you’d see each other all the time.”

Louis shook his head no. “No time for that. He’s got stuff to do and I do as well. Plus, I don’t think either of us wants to jump in too quickly after having just made up for the past two years. I’m liking this pace.”

Eli laughed hysterically, throwing his head back. “Come off it. You still want him. I’m surprised you didn’t jump into his pants the moment you two made up. And you know that sooner or later, that will happen.”

“That won’t happen,” Louis quickly refuted.

“It won’t? You seem awfully sure about that.”

“I am because I don’t think he wants that.”

Eli frowned, looking at Louis like he’d grown two heads or summat. “Why would he not want that? Based on the stories I heard, he couldn’t keep his paws off you before.”

Louis tried not to let that get to his head, putting off the smile that was stretching over his lips. It wasn’t his fault that being wanted by Harry did that to him. Harry was fit and he enjoyed when fit boys wanted him. Especially when said fit boy was Harry.

“That was years ago. Right now we’re just focused on being friends and getting back on that track. I don’t know if it will ever be that way again, but we can try, right?”

“Of course,” Eli said, adopting his serious voice for the first time during this entire conversation. “I’m only joking, you know that. I want you to be careful about him, but I also want you to be happy, which I know he makes you.”

“He does,” he said, finally letting himself crack a full smile then. “I love talking to him so much and I’m so happy to be doing it again. Things are good, like, really good. I wouldn’t want to ruin what we have.”

“What’s the worst that could happen if you did want more?”

“I don’t think he’d be for it. It’s such a risk and I’m afraid that if I say something, he’ll think we shouldn’t be friends after all because he doesn’t want to hurt me and then he’ll leave and this time we really won’t ever meet or see each other again. I can’t risk that, Eli. I’ve missed him so much.”

The words and the confession came tumbling out of Louis’ lips before he could stop himself. This was something he’d feared since Harry and he began talking again, but it wasn’t one that he voiced to anyone before. He knew if he allowed his emotions and true feelings for Harry to be free, it would definitely stray towards the direction of wanting Harry in that way again. If that was a risk, Louis wasn’t willing to take it because he’d finally gotten him back in some form. After months of missing Harry and wanting just one more night with him where he’d call Louis up at three in the morning to go for a long drive and drink coffee while they talked about their lives until the sun came up, Louis wasn’t going to give it up again. Every time Harry looked his way or Louis saw his face, it felt more and more like things were falling back into place, and if this was how it was going to be, Louis was fine with it.

Eli’s eyes were kind, understanding, and almost a little sad, but he didn’t say anything else. Instead, he squeezed Louis’ hand over the table and used his other to steal one of Louis’ chips, making him screech and try to steal the rest of Eli’s drink.

+++

“Busy, Lou?”

Louis practically jumped off his office chair, swiveling to turn around and look behind him, only to be met by Harry’s impish grin.

“Scared ya.”

“Yeah,” Louis retorted bitterly. “No shit.” He was clutching his chest, willing his heart rate to go down, until it started to dawn on him that Harry was here. He was here at Louis’ office. What the fuck? Louis stood up, staring at Harry with a bewildered expression as Harry poked through Louis’ files nosily and smiled slowly at him. “What are you doing here?”

Harry shrugged, looking up at Louis again as he moved around the cubicle walls and inside to where Louis was stood. “I was in the neighborhood and thought I’d drop by.”

“How did you even get in? No one at reception called me to tell me you were coming in.”

“I snuck in behind this delivery guy, who was buzzed in, and turned out he was coming up here, too. And then he stopped in front of the receptionist and started flirting with her, so both were sufficiently distracted, and I was free to wander in. Talk about lucky timing.”

“And you knew I sat here, how?” Louis asked, quirking an eyebrow, feeling amused.

“I followed your scent,” Harry said with a completely straight face.

Louis let out a cackle before clamping his mouth shut from how loud it came out. “I can’t fool around right now, though. I’ve got work to do.”

“That’s fine, but I came to ask if you’d want to grab dinner later.”

“With you?”

Harry nodded this time, casually sinking down into Louis’ chair and spinning in it once before smiling up at him cheekily. Louis smiled back at him, unable to help himself. “It’s been awhile since we went together and I’m super hungry and don’t feel like cooking and Niall’s busy at work.”

“Right. And since when do you need that many excuses to have dinner with me?”

“I guess I don’t,” Harry replied, watching Louis with a glint in his eye, before pulling him close and down onto his lap. Louis made a surprised sound and held on to the arms rests to steady himself.

“What are you doing?” Louis hissed. “This is an office. An establishment full of professionals. You can’t just be --.”

“-- yeah, yeah, yeah,” Harry admonished as he interrupted Louis and spun them to face his desk. “Now stop making a fuss and finish up your work so we can go. Reservations are soon.”

Louis snorted. “Already made reservations, huh? That was awfully presumptuous. I could have said no.”

“Please,” Harry said. “You couldn’t if you tried.”

“Are you planning to wine and dine me then, Styles?”

“You catch on quick, Tommo.”

“Cheeky.”

Harry didn’t reply, smiling instead and resting his head against Louis’ arm as Louis picked back up on work. He only had one more task to complete before he was done for the day, but it was difficult to focus with Harry there. He promised to stay quiet and not bother Louis, but Harry didn’t need to do anything to make Louis feel distracted by him. Him existing and being present was a distraction enough and all Louis really wanted to do was close his eyes and be held by him. His fingers were softly gripping onto Louis’ waist and his smell seemed to be everywhere while he whispered questions about what Louis was doing and made silly remarks about his work.

All in all, Louis barely got anything done and kept laughing at things Harry was saying.

“I’m getting none of this done,” Louis grumbled eventually. “When is our reservation? Where are we even going?”

“It’s soon and you’ll see. Hurry,” Harry whined, jiggling his knees up and down, making Louis almost topple over on the desk before grabbing him. The two of them burst out into snickers, trying to keep their voice as quiet as possible.

“You’re terrible,” Louis wheezed out. “You need to --.”

“Louis, I need you to look at -- oh, I’m _sorry_.”

Harry and Louis both startled, freezing in their spots, and turned to look. Louis’ co-worker, Leslie, was standing behind the cubicle, looking over the top and observing them for a moment before smirking with a knowing glint in her eye. Leslie was one of the cooler ones in the office (most were pretty old, making Louis seemingly the youngest there) and wouldn’t care that Louis had Harry in here with him when he should have been working, but he still couldn’t help but feel a bit nervous.

“Leslie,” Louis said, his voice higher than usual. “Um -- this is Harry. Harry, this is Leslie.”

“Hi,” Harry chirped happily, like Louis’ job wasn’t on the fucking line because he couldn’t behave for a minute. “Nice to meet you.”

“You, too,” Leslie said. “I’m sorry to have interrupted you guys.”

“No, no, no,” Louis repeated with a shake of his head. “Not interrupting. I just -- Harry was just --.”

“It’s fine,” Leslie laughed. “I won’t rat you out, don’t worry. I just wanted to drop these off to you for tomorrow.” She handed Louis a folder full of paper that he was probably going to have a terrible time looking over.

He smiled meekly while taking it from her hand. “I’ll be sure to get back to you about these tomorrow.”

“Awesome,” she said while giving Harry another curious look and turning back to Louis. “Alright. So, I’ll be heading back and pretending like I haven’t seen anything.”

“Okay,” Louis laughed, feeling his cheeks flush while Harry pulled him closer, making sure he was situated properly on his lap. He looked as pleased with himself as ever. He was shameless was what he was. “Thanks, Leslie.”

Leslie started walking away, only to stop and turn back to them. “It’s nice to see you smiling, Louis.” Louis frowned in confusion at her comment because he definitely smiled at work, so he had no idea what Leslie was hinting at and that must have shown because she shook her head with a frustrated laugh. “I mean that it’s nice to see you happy like this. I don’t think I ever have. There’s something different…”

Oh.

_Oh._

“Th -- thanks, Leslie,” Louis said, feeling his cheeks grow hot. “That’s sweet of you.”

She gave him one last smile before disappearing down the hall to her cubicle. Louis breathed out softly, looking down at the ground and feeling Harry’s presence there more than ever. First Eli and now Leslie -- someone who didn’t even know him as well.

Louis knew being around Harry was obviously special to him. He felt different -- felt himself smiling absentmindedly and being completely engrossed in Harry so much so that it was difficult to see anyone or anything else around him. And you’d think that after all this time apart, the effect he had on Louis would wear off a little, but it didn’t. It just felt like not only were they reacquainting like old friends, but so were their hearts because Harry still made it beat a little faster than anyone else ever had.

Louis just didn’t quite realize that others were so perceptive of that fact, too. Even someone like Leslie, who was seeing Louis with Harry for the first time, as opposed to their friends who would usually tease them.

Louis wondered if Harry was thinking the same as Louis was or if he even understood Leslie’s implications.

When Louis chanced a look at him, Harry looked as normal as ever, if a bit fond. Louis cleared his throat, turning the chair, and in turn both of them, towards his desk again. “I’ll just finish this so we can leave.”

It took a moment for Harry to answer, the silence growing a bit thick and Louis’ thoughts running wild as to what Harry must be thinking before he finally said something. “Sounds good, Lou.”

+++

The waiter placed a black bill book down at their table, giving them a polite, trained smile before disappearing off to another table, and both Harry and Louis reached for it. They looked up at the same time and Louis narrowed his eyes at him. "No way," he told him.

Harry looked incredulous as he said, " _I_ invited you out, though."

"So what? I want to pay."

"You're really not paying," Harry said, sticking a toothpick in his mouth. Louis could see that that habit of his hadn't gone away. He wouldn't ever use the toothpick, really. He just liked to keep it in his mouth shifted to the side so he looked more badarse than he really was. It was hot, though. Louis dug it and totally fell for it.

"I can't unless you let go of the bill,” Louis replied.

"I'm not doing that. Let me treat you, c'mon."

Louis grumbled, eventually letting go as Harry grinned victoriously (read: obnoxiously) and took the bill, sticking his credit card inside. They had grabbed dinner at an Indian restaurant somewhere near Louis’ office, filling up their stomach to the brim, and caught up with each other. Despite the fact that it had been about a month since Harry and Louis had met again and two weeks since they reconnected over coffee, they still found that most days, they were still trying to catch each other up on their lives.

They would exchange several stories of something that happened to them in the past two years that they hadn’t gotten a chance to relay the first night they went for coffee. It felt nice to finally tell Harry things that Louis'd been holding back on saying to him for years whether they were funny or strange or exciting. He'd go through something or see something and immediately remember Harry and how he wanted to tell him, but couldn't and now he finally could. Louis figured Harry felt the same and thus the two of them never ran out of topics to talk about.

More so, Louis'd gotten to know about Jeff quite a bit -- how he barely ever revised, but passed every exam he ever took, how he was obsessed with sushi and the color gold, and how he was a really great boyfriend, but Harry and him didn't keep in touch anymore, which often made him sad. Harry told Louis  about bar exam training and loving it some nights, but dreading it most nights. He had often felt stuck and useless, as though he was in a continuous path of revising while everyone else was beginning a whole new journey of life, and often just wanted to drop out only to realize that he'd come this far and that doing so would be a waste of all his hard work.

Louis had told Harry about his struggles as well. He told him about how it was in the beginning before getting his job when he was working with Dan’s even friend -- even mentioning fucking Jeremy, who Harry promised he'd beat up for Louis. Louis told him about how secluded and alone he'd become before he finally started to come out of his shell again thanks to Eli. And he'd told him that feeling stuck at this age was normal and they all felt that way sometimes. It made Harry’s eyes seem a little lighter and that was all Louis wanted.

Aside from the more serious topics, they covered funny ones as well, making dinner enjoyable and full of laughs. It was in the middle of Harry making a face with the toothpick in his mouth and making Louis laugh that “Revelry” by Kings of Leon started to play. Both Harry and Louis looked up at each other at the same time, eyes locking as the lead singer started to croon out the lyrics. It was one of those moments where you heard a certain song that you had heard a lot during a moment in your life, so that when you heard it again, the memories of that time came back thick and you felt exactly how you felt then.

And at that very moment all Louis could think about was Harry and their naked chests pressed together under the covers of Louis’ bed with their lips and limbs attached in every possible way. Louis’ cheeks were warm with the images going through his head and he became jittery, starting to feel embarrassed for thinking about sex right then and also a bit aroused as well.

Fuck.

He played with his fringe, shifting his eyes downwards, so he wasn’t looking at Harry any longer, but it didn’t stop him from commenting.

“Kings of Leon,” Harry chuckled breathily. “Haven’t heard them in a while.”

Louis gave him a small smile. “That’s a surprise. They’re your favorite band.”

Harry nodded. “Still are. Just haven’t been listening much.” His eyes were lit and amused when Louis looked up, though he could still see a faint rosy color on Harry’s cheeks, which proved he was thinking the same as Louis was. “We can talk about it, you know,” he said after a beat. “I know we’re both thinking the same thing -- unless you’re not?”

“Uh -- I -- um,” Louis stuttered, feeling caught and called out, but Harry laughed lightly.

“I mean, it’s fine. It’s not like we’re ashamed. It’s a little weird, though.”

“Yeah,” Louis mumbled with a short laugh. “It’s a bit weird, alright. Like, maybe the others were right...maybe you can’t hook up with someone to your favorite band because then it’s ruined for you after that, I guess.”

“They’re not ruined for me,” Harry shook his head quickly. “I just wouldn’t be able to make out or have sex with anyone else to Kings of Leon but you.”

He said it so casually, so cool, but Louis was close to passing out in his chair. He had no idea how to respond other than stare at Harry with wide eyes and parted lips, wondering where he was getting this courage from to just bring up such deeply buried things. They hardly ever spoke about their past relationship. It almost felt like it was a taboo topic and the two of them knew better than to bring it up until now he supposed.

As Louis was racking his brain to think of something to say other than gape at Harry, the waiter came and picked up the bill, shifting the mood at the table slightly as they realized that yes -- they were still inside, packed in a room full of people, and now was not the time to be talking about sex and music. When the waiter came back with their receipt, Harry and Louis got up and walked out. It was a nice night out and they slowly strolled towards Harry’s car. Louis could tell Harry wanted to say something by the way he was chewing on his toothpick, so Louis waited.

“Um,” he eventually started, looking over at Louis. “I wanted to tell you something.”

“What’s up?” Louis asked.

Harry sighed, chuckling softly, before rubbing his palms together, like he was nervous. “I was looking into pupillages, right?” Louis nodded promptly and he continued. “I found a few, applied, and got into most of them, but the one in Manchester is looking really good. It’s one of the top ones and mum’s sort of pressuring me into going for it because then I’d be living at home with her again, so…”

It took a minute for it to click and Louis wanted to pretend like his heart didn’t just sink to his stomach, but it did. “So, you’re moving?”

Harry shrugged roughly. “I mean, she’s got me pretty much convinced, though she did give me a choice. I looked into the place and it’s great...so I’m sort of conflicted, but I’m thinking of saying yes.”

“Oh,” Louis replied softly.

“Yeah.”

They had reached Harry's car by then and Harry moved around to lean back on it, facing Louis with an uneasy expression. Louis could imagine why. It was like he knew Louis wouldn't be happy, but he should be. Harry was moving forward in life and doing great things. That was a wonderful thing and something to feel proud of. When Liam moved, Louis was upset and missed him, but he congratulated him wholeheartedly and wished nothing but the best for him. With Harry, Louis didn't feel like that, which was silly and unfair. They were both Louis’ mates, but for some reason Louis didn't want Harry to move -- he wanted him to stay here close to him.

It was selfish, really, for Louis to want that. Harry deserved to go somewhere good and be close to his family. He didn't owe Louis anything, but _God_ , this was shattering his fucking heart. It was like an ugly twist of fate that the moment Louis finally got Harry back after all this time, he was going away again and Louis wasn't sure he could take that. He wasn't sure fate would bring them back together again either because as much as Louis wanted to deny it, the fact that they were both single this time around felt like a sign to Louis. Who knew if they ever did meet again that it would be like it was now? It also felt hazardous for Louis to even think about their relationship statuses when he had firmly told Eli that he wanted to stay just friends because that was contradictory. He was confusing his own self and Harry was going to move and this was a mess.

This was all a mess and Louis was being super fucking selfish.

But maybe he was being selfish for a reason. Maybe with Harry it wasn't like how it was with Liam at all because Louis was still in love with Harry. Maybe he never stopped. Thinking about that possibility only made him hurt even harder and he could tell he was on the brink of tears with how his eyes were stinging.

Louis couldn't cry, though. Harry looked nervous to tell him as it was and he didn't want to ruin this for him. He deserved to do anything he set his eyes on. He deserved everything and more and if that included going to Manchester and moving away from Louis, then so be it.

Louis put on the best grin he could. "That's -- that's amazing, H. Wow. I'm -- I’m sure you'll smash it."

"Really?" he asked softly, seeming wary and a bit surprised.

Louis nodded, beaming at him and moving forward to pull him into a hug before he burst into tears, which Harry returned easily like it was instinct to him again. "Congratulations. I'm so proud of you. You're gonna do amazing things."

Harry wasn't saying anything for a while, content on rubbing his palm up and down Louis’ back. And Louis wasn't sure how long they'd been hugging, but eventually Harry said, "Thanks, Lou. You’re the best."

 

+++

On Harry's last night he'd called Louis asking to go on one last coffee run with him before he left in the morning. They'd squeezed in as much time between the night he told Louis and his moving day, but getting to see him one more time wasn't something Louis was going to say no to. They pulled up at their spot, getting coffee and lying back over Harry’s windshield in comfortable silence together.

"I'm going to miss this place," Harry said softly. "Gonna miss this the most."

Louis’ heart was aching, feeling heavy and sharp inside of him, but he pulled on a small smile. This place truly was special. He’d grown to know Harry here, grown to love him and vice versa. It was theirs and it was funny how a place like a small, 24-hour coffee shop could hold so much meaning. "Me, too. I promise not to bring anyone else here with me."

Harry laughed warmly. "I used to come here some nights on my own when we stopped talking. It was awful because all I could think about was how you should have been there. It felt wrong to be here without you because it was something you and I shared."

"I did, too," Louis said a little breathlessly. He shook his head when he realized that was too broad. "I mean I came here and I missed you, too."

Harry's smile grew as he moved his head closer to Louis’. "This had always been so special to me -- you're special to me and I'll miss you so much. I’d never had something quite like this with anyone, but it’s been really nice."

Louis felt choked up as he often did when it came to thinking about how little time Harry and he had left -- how impermanent everything seemed. It scared him a lot. “Same,” was all he could manage to respond with. “I’ll miss you, too.”

They didn't talk much after that and were just content in being beside one another while letting the hours pass by them. It didn't feel like there was much they wanted to chat about when both of them were feeling so sad about Harry going to Manchester in just a few, short hours. It felt too thick and overwhelming, but there was comfort in knowing that at least he was still there within touch right then.

When it came time to go home, they looked as reluctant as ever, their bodies moving slowly off the car to get inside. The sun was just coming up in shades of light orange and they both looked rumpled, eyes red from lack of sleep. Once they got in, Harry's hand reached out to touch Louis’ over the console.

"Come back to mine?" he asked. "I have a few things left to pack and don't want to do it alone."

Louis laughed breathlessly and nodded because of course. "Yeah, sure. Why haven't you finished packing yet?"

Harry shrugged, staring straight ahead, while his fingers entwined with Louis’, feeling warm and comforting. "I don't want to go yet. Packing those last few things means I'm ready to go, but I don't feel ready yet."

Louis hummed in agreement before an idea popped in his mind. "Maybe you don't have to..." Harry looked confused so Louis continued. "Take the long way home."

A small smile formed on his lips. "Yeah?" he asked. "Get lost a few times?"

Louis giggled, nodding his head. "We'll drive as long as you like. Until you feel you’re ready."

"Alright," Harry agreed. "Get ready because we're about to drive forever."

Louis burst into more giggles, watching Harry's profile as he shifted the gear and pulled out onto the road. They drove for another two hours, weaving through familiar London streets that Louis’d discovered with Harry himself, and not for the first time, Louis found himself realizing that he wouldn’t mind this for the rest of forever.

 

+++

 

By the time they got home, it was well into time for breakfast and that was exactly what they found Niall doing when they walked through their flat door. The place was cluttered with bags and boxes full of Harry's things, which Louis noted; he still hadn’t gotten around to packing in his car. He really wasn’t ready to leave like he’d told Louis. If only he wouldn’t.

"Morning," Niall greeted, looking at them over a bowl of cereal. "You two have a good night?" Niall grinned at them obnoxiously, looking far too pleased with his comment.

Louis gaped at his insinuation while Harry rolled his eyes and flipped him the bird. He then grabbed two chocolate muffins and bananas before leading Louis towards his bedroom, which was near empty with most of his things packed away. He only had a few drawers left and showed Louis the boxes to pack his stuff in. The process was somber, the two of them quietly putting away his things, and Louis couldn't even pretend like he was happy to be helping. He wanted to unpack everything and pull Harry to his bed and go to sleep. More importantly, he couldn’t stop himself from letting his eyes wander around the room and remember all the different memories they’d made in here. None of that seemed to matter now and it made Louis feel more depressed than ever.

How could all of that not matter when it meant everything to Louis?

After a while, Niall wandered into the room, dressed for work. "I'm heading out," he told Harry, his voice shaking.

Harry nodded, walking over to him and then pulling Niall into a big hug. He squeezed him tightly and Niall held on just as tight. "Gonna miss you, Ni. You've been the best roommate I could have asked for."

"Shut up," Niall whined, burying his face in Harry's neck. He sounded thick with tears and when Louis looked, he noticed Niall really was crying. "Gonna miss you the most, you dick. Have fun out there, kick arse, and come back soon, okay?"

They pulled away and Harry smiled wetly, wiping Niall's tears for him, and nodding. "I'll see you soon. Come visit me, yeah?"

"Of course. Expect me there next week!"

Harry laughed. "I will. Love you, Ni."

"Love you, too, H." Niall grabbed Harry's head by the cheeks and pulled him down to plant a kiss on his forehead. He gave Louis a wave goodbye before walking out of there, wiping his eyes as he went and sniffling, too.

 _Me too, Niall_ , Louis thought to himself. _Me, too_.

+++

“So, you have everything, yeah?” Louis asked Harry, unable to meet his eyes as they stood outside by his car. He seemed to be fairing the same, his expression pained while he adjusted a few bags in the backseat of his car. Louis could still see Niall’s teardrop stains on the shoulder of Harry’s shirt and it made Louis want to cry more than anything.

Harry closed his car door and stood back in front of Louis, brushing his hands on the back of his jeans. “Yeah, I got everything.”

“Good,” Louis replied shakily, staring down at the ground and rubbing his arms. “You’re good to go then?”

“I’m good to go,” Harry confirmed.

Louis could tell Harry was staring at him, but it was too hard to just look up. He should, though, knowing that he wasn’t sure when they’d hang out again or when Harry’d have time to come back. It sucked -- it really fucking sucked -- having to say goodbye to him yet again when they’d only just been reunited. Louis felt bitter about the time lost. He felt bitter about everything. Most of all, he just felt sad to see Harry go. Saying goodbye to him has always been hard because watching his body retreat from Louis was heartbreaking.

“Alright. Then I guess this is goodbye?” Louis asked even though it was obvious.

Harry didn’t respond. Instead, he nudged Louis with his hand on his waist until Louis moved forward into his arms. The hug was brief and not at all right. It was meant to be good where their shoulders and necks met because they fit so well together. This hug felt incomplete, but Louis was pulling away much too soon and Harry didn’t wait after that before walking around to the driver’s seat.

Louis stood there pathetically on the footpath, watching Harry start the car and pull out of the parking spot without a second thought. And all it took to get the tears streaming down Louis’ face was the sight of Harry’s car driving away until it got smaller and turned, going completely out of sight.

_Fuck._

He was gone.

Harry was actually gone and they weren’t ever going to make it, were they? Louis was a liar when he’d said that he didn’t want more or that he didn’t want him again. _Louis did_. He wanted Harry more than anyone and it scared him that he was going to have to live with that for the rest of his life. He met many people over the years and they’d all left some sort of an impact, but not as much as Harry did. He was always there in the back of Louis’ mind, making him compare whoever he met with him, and thus deeming them as not good enough. And Louis’d tried to move on -- he really did, but he couldn’t. Then a small, deeply buried part of Louis had thought that maybe now was the time. The universe let them meet again and it was going to fix things, but that didn’t happen, so obviously that meant that it wasn’t going to be Harry and Louis in the end after all.

They weren’t meant to be.

Louis sobbed quietly, rubbing his cheeks and trying to will himself to calm down, because he was close to becoming hysterical in the middle of the street. And it was as he was contemplating maybe trying to chase Harry’s car and telling to not go that he saw someone running towards him.

Louis’ heart stopped in his throat when he realized it was Harry, hair blowing back in the wind as he ran in a quick jog back to where Louis was. Louis was too busy staring at him, completely flabbergasted, to realize that his face was stained with tears, slightly swollen and red. Harry stopped in front of him, panting and looking him in the eyes for the first time that day before letting his eyes take in the rest of his face.

“Wha -- what are you doing?” Louis asked him, hating how his voice was raspy from the crying. “Did you forget something?”

Harry sighed, like he couldn’t quite believe Louis’ question, and nodded his head. “Yeah...yeah, I just --.”

It took Louis a second to catch up as Harry pulled him in by his waist until he was flush against him, chest to chest, with Louis’ hands bracketed between their bodies. Harry searched Louis eyes, green against blue, before leaning down and pressing his lips to Louis’.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welllllllll...thoughts? let me know!!!! next update will most likely be next week. thanks guys! :)  
>   
> [tumblr](http://softasurcheek.tumblr.com/) / [fic page](http://softasurcheek.tumblr.com/yail) / [chapter post](http://softasurcheek.tumblr.com/post/145231744115/fic-you-are-in-love-author-wildestdreams)


	34. the one with the lobsters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soooo here we are with 2 more chapters to go. i'm so thankful to every single one of you for being on this yail journey with me. it's been amazing! and of course -- a bunch of thanks to my beta [mac](http://realitybetterthanfiction.tumblr.com/).  
>   
> enjoy! you guys deserve it :))

Harry’s lips were soft and grounding, pulling Louis in with every nip and lick and pull. Louis’ hands were clutching onto his shirt for dear life, scared that if he let go for a second, Harry’d disappear and Louis’d lose him for good. And he couldn’t do that -- he wasn’t going to let Harry walk away from him anymore. Harry’s hands moved up from Louis’ sides as he broke the kiss to look at him for a moment. It was then that Louis realized he was still crying, tears leaking from the corners of his eyes and trailing down his cheeks.

Harry looked sad, bringing his hands up to hold Louis’ face, and then leaned in to place kisses over his tears, making Louis pull him closer because it felt like his chest was going to burst any second. He was feeling so much of everything for Harry that it was all-consuming and overwhelming. He hadn’t felt this torn down in a long, long time and he wasn’t sure what to do. He wanted Harry to do what he wanted to do for his future; however, it was breaking him apart to watch Harry go after all this time. It was only intensifying with the way Harry was kissing him -- soft and loving -- like he didn’t want to leave Louis either.

“Harry,” Louis said with a broken sob.

“Sshh, Lou,” he cooed, still littering kisses across Louis’ face. “I’m here. I’m here -- it’s okay.”

“Don’t go to fucking Manchester,” Louis breathed out, shaking his head. He wasn’t able to help himself anymore. If he didn’t tell Harry how he felt now -- he might not be able to ever again. “Don’t go. Be with me...I -- I love you.”

Harry looked stunned, his eyes glossy and torn apart as well. “Louis,” Harry breathed out, leaning forward to place another kiss on Louis’ lips, trailing a few across his cheek and even one on his nose.

"No," he shook his head again, forcing Harry to look at him. Kissing him now wasn’t going to be enough. Louis needed something more than that -- he needed Harry to still love him. And if the way things had been going this past month was anything to go by then Louis had a small hunch that he might. It was just a small spark, a flicker, but it was enough to give Louis a sense of hope in that moment because he was desperate. "Tell me you won't go, Harry -- I need you to tell me that."

"I won't go," Harry replied instantly without missing a beat, his expression earnest, as he looked Louis in the eyes. "I'm not leaving you -- not again. I love you, too, Lou."

Louis’ face crumpled, more tears falling from his eyes, and he let out another sob, wrapping his arms around Harry and hugging him close. He was meant to be smiling and overjoyed, but he just felt worn down. He'd wanted Harry to tell him that he loved him again for years and after a while, Louis accepted the fact that that would only happen in his dreams. He didn’t know what else to do now that he’d said it because Louis’d forced himself to believe that Harry and he weren't meant to be together and that he'd never be Louis’ again.

But now, he was hugging Louis exactly how he wanted Harry to while whispering _I love you_ over and over again in his ear, and Louis knew this was it. Harry was it and they were going to make it.

+++

Carrying all of Harry's things from the car and back into the flat took longer than it did when they carried them out. It might have felt that way because when they were taking his things to the car, they wanted time to slow down so that Harry wouldn't have to go so soon, and when they were taking them back, they wanted time to speed up so that they could finally be back into each other’s arms again. Keeping that in mind helped Harry and Louis to move as fast as they could and once they placed the last box on the carpet beside the couch, Harry let out a sigh of relief before turning back to Louis.

He smiled, eyes a little red from tearing up before, and walked up to Louis. Louis smiled back, extending his hands, Harry taking them and pulling him closer. The moment their chests were pressed together, Louis felt something warm and content settle in his stomach. Harry’s hands slid down from his upper back to lower, resting right above the curve of his bum.

It never took long for the air to become charged between them. They didn’t even have to be doing anything besides simply looking at each other and instantly, Louis felt his heart beat a little faster. “Let’s go to my room,” Harry suggested, like it wasn’t obvious that was exactly where Louis wanted to be at that moment. Preferably with no clothes on and under the covers, though, he knew that they both had a few things to say.

“Yeah, okay,” Louis nodded, turning to head to the bedroom. Harry followed, his hands holding onto Louis’ waist from behind. Louis’d expected Harry to lead him towards the bed, staring at the soft surface eagerly for what was to come, but then he sidetracked and moved over to the bay window, instead. He sat them both down, climbing onto Louis’ lap, while Louis leaned back against the window with a yawn.

“Are you exhausted?” was the first thing Harry asked him.

Louis burst out laughing, realizing then that he really fucking was. The two of them hadn’t slept a wink all night and since then they’d basically moved Harry out, only to move him back in and with the added weight of their emotions going a full 360 within a few short hours, Louis knew they were both proper beat. He smoothed out Harry’s face, thumbing against his cheekbones to soothe him as he fluttered his eyes shut.

“Yeah, I’m tired.”

“We should take a nap and then talk.”

“But, I wanna talk now,” Louis insisted despite a yawn escaping his lips. “We have so much to talk about.” He gripped Harry’s waist again, leaning his head back against the window, while Harry rested his head against Louis’ chest, listening to the thump of his heartbeat.

Harry let out a breathy chuckle. “We’re literally falling asleep right now.”

“No, I’m not. I’m just resting a little.” Harry hummed in response as Louis placed his palm on Harry’s back, stroking it softly. It felt nice and Louis almost felt his eyes drift shut, but his mind was going a mile a minute, even though his body wasn’t able to keep up with it anymore. They really needed to talk things through and determine whether they were on the same page or not. So much had happened and Louis felt himself still stuck on the image of Harry running to him. He looked at Harry, finding his eyes shut, but knew he wasn’t asleep because his fingers were playing with the hem of Louis’ shirt. “I can’t believe you came back.”

Harry chuckled again, leaning over to press a kiss on Louis’ cheek. “Not that surprising, to be honest. I’ve always been terrible at walking away from you.”

“Not to sound bitter or anything, but you did walk away, like, a few times,” Louis retorted.  

“Yeah, but barely,” Harry answered, laughing. “The first time we broke up in my room, I didn’t want you to leave at all -- in fact, if I remember correctly, I even wanted to take you back home, but you said you wanted to leave on your own. At the coffee shop, I ran back to you...and did the same today, but this time it’s for good.”

“Yeah?” Louis smiled.

“Yeah,” Harry smiled back. “I’m tired of saying goodbye to you. Driving away from you like that felt like the worst possible decision and I just realized, fuck...what am I doing? So, I stopped my car and just fucking ran.”

Louis laughed softly, thinking back to that moment. It felt surreal -- all of it did. His history with Harry spanned about three years and in those three years, they’d done a full circle. They came into each other’s lives only to leave and then come back again and Louis could honestly say, he’d never felt as strongly for anyone in his life like he did for Harry. It was maddening and crazy what he still did to Louis even after all these years. Even while they were apart, he was never far from Louis’ mind nor his heart. So, it just felt crazy to Louis that he was here and that they were hopefully together again.

“You stopped your car in the middle of the road.”

“Yep,” Harry nodded. “Quite dramatic, but I didn't really think anything other than getting back to you."

"I'm happy you did. I was having a meltdown in the streets as soon as you left."

"Actually a bit surprised by that," Harry said, looking at Louis. "You seemed fine the entire time. Very supportive and what not. I thought you were okay and then..."

"Yeah, well, I'm a better actor than I thought then because I’ve been anything but okay with you leaving."

“I hate it when you cry, Lou,” Harry said, his voice growing a bit more serious. “I’m so sorry. That will be the last time I ever make you cry, I promise." He paused, running his hands through Louis’ hair. "I hope you know that I love you -- so much."

It'd been an hour since Harry had last said those three words to Louis and he'd said it to him, but it was still enough to render Louis speechless, heart thudding in his chest.

"I -- I love you, Louis," Harry repeated. "And I don't know if this is too soon or if it feels like it's coming out of nowhere, but I've spent the last two years wondering why I ever left you because it was stupid. I've always been in love with you -- after all these years it's still _you."_

"It's not," Louis shook his head quickly. "Not too soon or random...it's perfect because I'm still in love with you, too. I never stopped."

Harry let out a watery laugh that sounded almost like relief, green eyes twinkling. "I don't really deserve it after all that I did to you that summer. It was out of sheer spite and pent up anger over something, I realized over time, that wasn't even your fault. If we ever have problems we can talk things out now because we know better now. We won’t make the same mistakes again. I'm really sorry about that and I'll give my all to make it up to you. But -- I do love you. Completely. I never stopped either.”

Louis felt himself tearing up again at Harry’s mention of the reason they broke up all those years ago. He’d wanted him to see it this way so much and for so long that to hear him say it now was also overwhelming along with everything else today. At this point, it didn’t really matter anymore. Dean meant nothing to either of them and what had happened seemed small in comparison to everything as Harry had said, but it still meant a lot to hear him say that.

“I’m glad,” Louis said rubbing at his eyes. “I had forgiven you a long time ago, but still -- thank you.”

Harry smiled, wiping Louis’ tears with his thumb. “I guess what I’m really trying to say is that you help me be the best version of me that I could possibly be. I don't ever doubt myself when I'm with you and I've never found that in anyone. No one else seems to compare to you, Lou, and I want to be with you...wanna be in your life again."

Louis nodded shakily a few times, agreeing without a second thought, and smiled, feeling his heart swell up.

Harry smiled, dimples sinking in, suddenly shy as he played with the bun on his head. "I want you to be my boyfriend again.”

"Want that, too, H," Louis replied, just as shy, his cheeks warming up. "Wanna be yours again."

Harry's hand slid around Louis’ waist and down to Louis’ bum, his fingers giving it a possessive squeeze. "C'mere," he mumbled, dipping his head down to level with Louis’.

Louis met him halfway in a thorough kiss, one that was enough to make Louis’ toes curl and a shiver run down his spine. Harry's mouth was hot and addicting, just like he remembered it, and he couldn't help the soft moans slipping out of his lips as the two of them snogged, getting familiar with each other again. All the while, Louis’ hand roamed Harry’s body, skimming and prodding over his skin before he let two of his fingers slide between the crease of Harry’s bum. He eventually settled them on the hem of Harry’s jeans, fiddling with the button.

Louis felt Harry’s kisses slow down while they worked on pulling off Harry’s jeans. Once he got them off, Louis didn't stop, fingers hovering over the hem of Harry’s briefs. Louis bit his lip, looking at Harry softly with question in his eyes.

Harry replied by pressing even closer and latching his lips on Louis’ neck, biting and licking it with an intention to leave a mark. Louis took that as a sign and easily slid off Harry’s briefs, putting them beside his jeans. All the while, Harry ran over and got a packet of lube. He scrambled onto Louis’ lap again, situating himself properly to feel how hard Louis was in his own jeans. Harry placed one of his hands on Louis’ cock over the fabric of his jeans as Louis captured his lips in another kiss. He was gasping and moaning into Harry’s mouth the more Harry rubbed over him and let his hands move under Louis’ shirt, thumbing over his nipples and hardening them.

“Off,” Louis mumbled breathlessly his hands now on the hem of Harry’s shirt. Harry complied, feeling breathless and eager, lifting his hands up so that Louis could pull his shirt off and discard it beside them. Louis’ eyes grew even darker as he let them linger on Harry’s bare body, looking much more toned and well defined. “Fuck.”

“What?” Harry questioned in a whisper, letting his own fingers start to pull at Louis’ shirt.  

“Just -- you’re so -- I don’t know -- it’s _you._ ”

“What do you mean?” Harry laughed, successfully having lifted Louis’ shirt, too.

“I mean that you’re fucking hot and I want you,” Louis huffed out, sliding Harry closer by gripping on to the bottom his bum so that he could kiss him. It would have been a hot kiss if the two of them weren’t laughing, but it didn’t stop them from trying anyway. Harry started to touch Louis just about everywhere like he wasn’t able to help himself and couldn’t decide where he wanted to stop. His eyes landed on Louis’ chest tattoo and he started tracing over it while Louis ripped open the lube packet to spread some over his fingers.

“I got that a few months ago,” Louis told him, trying to keep his voice from shaking as he circled Harry’s rim and pressed a finger in.

“It’s beautiful,” Harry gasped, licking his lips. It was no secret that Harry had always found Louis’ tattoos hot. When his breathing grew faster, Louis kissed him, while working a finger in. He soon dipped another finger inside and then another until Harry was screwing his eyes shut and riding Louis’ fingers.

“You close, baby?” Louis asked him.

Harry nodded his head jerkily. "Don't want to come this way, though. Wanna come with you inside of me."

Louis swore under his breath, retracting his fingers. He was going to die and it was going to be because of Harry being obscenely beautiful and hot.

"I've got some condoms in here, I think," Harry told Louis, leaning over and rummaging through one of his boxes that they’d placed there, labeled _BEDSIDE TABLE_. Luckily enough, he found a box of condoms and quickly picked one out. Harry slid back on Louis’ lap a bit to give him room to unbutton his jeans.

It felt weird to have to use a condom with Harry. Louis still got checked quite regularly and hadn’t done it raw with anyone else except him, but hadn’t told Harry as much. However, it would be extremely unsafe because neither of them knew how many people they slept with and he wasn’t sure if Harry got checked recently. Maybe that could be done soon because Louis didn't want to use condoms with Harry -- he wanted everything to be different with him, including this.

He took the condom from Harry and unbuckled his belt and unbuttoned his jeans and pants, pushing them down to the middle of his thighs, his cock curling up towards his stomach, looking red and painfully hard. He fisted it once or twice to sooth it a bit before rolling on the condom. Harry was so transfixed on Louis’ dick and what he was doing, that he missed the fact that Louis was ready.

“Earth to Harry,” Louis laughed, looking at him fondly.

Harry blushed, crimson red, and rolled his eyes. “Whatever. Let’s just...do it.”

Louis laughed even harder, grabbing Harry by the back of his head and pulling him in for a deep, open mouthed kiss. “Love you,” he mumbled against Harry’s lips.

“Only love your dick.”

“I’ll learn to live with that.”

This time Harry was laughing into Louis’ mouth, but with the way Louis continued to kiss him, he quickly got back in the mood, eager to have Louis inside of him. It wasn’t unusual for either of them to fool around like this during sex. When they used to date, they’d get distracted easily and have full length conversations in the middle of sex before actually getting to the sex, and it made Louis happy knowing that that hadn’t gone away.

Harry’s hands wrapped around Louis’ cock, prodding it at his rim entrance with slight pressure and rubbing it back and forth, making Louis feel even more restless. “Harry,” Louis whimpered, trying to push in himself. Harry let out another breathy laugh before he finally sunk down on Louis in one hard thrust.

Harry let out a semi-loud whimper, really feeling the stretch. Louis was gentle, going a bit slower than they usually would have before, but it was hard to hold himself back. He was moaning deeply, face hidden in the crook of Harry’s neck while helping Harry move up and down until they found a good rhythm.

Once the slide became easier and Louis could feel his orgasm starting to build up again, Harry started moving on his own without Louis’ help. Harry wrapped an arm around Louis’ shoulders, holding himself steady, while grinding down and riding him. It felt like something on another level. It’d been two years since the last time Harry and Louis had sex, but at that time things were on edge between them, the line blurring between being still in love and broken up. The night had ended in them having a fight and that wasn’t memorable at all, although if Louis tried hard enough, the memories were as vivid as ever. However, things weren't like that today and nothing made him happier than the fact that they were finally back together in every possible sense.

Louis’ hands were curved around Harry’s waist while he busied himself by sucking bruises into Harry’s neck. His lips trailed up, leaving wet kisses as he went, and Harry was half shivering, half giggling when Louis’ tongue swiped out into his ear. Louis chuckled at his reaction, continuing to leave kisses across his jaw. “So perfect,” Harry said. “I’m so happy you’re mine again.”

“Never was gonna be anyone’s other than yours, was I?” Louis asked him. “Not with how much I love you.”

Harry looked speechless and wonderstruck for a moment before a slow smile started to form on his lips and he shook his head. “No, baby. I love you so much, too.”

They kissed again, almost like they were making up for lost time and continued to meet each other’s thrusts while getting closer to their orgasms. They weren’t going at a particular fast rate, their thrusts more languid than anything due to their exhaustion, but it felt amazing. Louis could tell when Harry started to get close, his pants mixing in with moans.

“Are you close, H?” Louis asked.

“Almost,” Harry nodded.

At that, Louis tugged Harry closer, curving his back so that his nipples were right in front of him. Louis wrapped his lips around one of Harry’s pert buds, sucking and softly biting while one of his hands covered the other one, rolling it between his thumb and forefinger, making it hard. It was enough to get Harry to where Louis was and also enough to make Harry louder than he’d been. Harry continued to rock down, swiveling his hips, and Louis felt the heat build up in the pit of his stomach.

When Louis sucked down particularly hard to leave a bite mark, Harry finally let go with a moan, coming hard. Louis followed suit, shooting into the condom and closing his eyes, letting his head rest back on the window. They were breathless while coming down from their highs and Louis felt his body starting to finally give out from how tired he was.

“Bed,” Louis mumbled, resting his head against Harry’s chest.

“Bed,” Harry agreed, pulling off of Louis, and tugging his pants and boxers off all the way. Louis pulled off his rubber and he trashed it in the bin beside the desk while the two of them made their way over to the bed. Louis rolled over once Harry was beside him and wiggled underneath the covers. He pulled Louis close against his chest, pressing a small kiss on his lips. “Love you.”

“Love you, too,” Louis whispered back, letting himself slowly drift to sleep.

+++

Louis eyed the bacon on the two plates that were beside him, contemplating on whether or not he should grab a piece. He’d already sneaked one without Harry looking, but in his defense they were from his own plate, and he was starving. Louis quickly glanced over at Harry, who was busy making their eggs, and grabbed a piece before putting it in his mouth all in one bite.

“Saw that,” Harry smirked, his eyes trained on the hob.

Louis groaned out loud, partially for getting caught and also because it was so good. “Yeah, yeah,” he mumbled through his chewing. “I’m hungry. I didn’t realize it’d take you this long to cook us a meal.”

“I promised a full English breakfast. Have you any idea how long that takes?”

“Yeah, but have you any idea how long we haven’t eaten?” Louis asked, proper dramatic and all. “It’s nearly dinner time and the last thing we had was coffee the night before.”

After their little reunion and rendezvous by the bay window, Harry and Louis knocked out right away and didn’t wake up until an hour ago with the sky turning dark and their tummies grumbling in protest from how empty they were. They’d been lazy in getting up, snogging a bit before finally getting out of bed and half arsedly putting on some clothes to eat something. Harry was obviously cooking, but Louis was getting impatient while sat on the countertop beside him. It was also proving to be quite distracting because Harry kept settling himself between Louis’ knees and kissing him, forgetting about their food, thus making the process slower.

Louis wasn’t complaining, though. He could kiss Harry for hours and not have food, but still be content.

“I’m almost done, I promise,” Harry cooed to Louis, wrapping one arm around his waist and giving him a few kisses while holding the spatula with the other. It shouldn’t be that hot, but it was. He was only wearing a pair of joggers and nothing else, giving Louis his shirt to wear over his briefs. The whole thing felt super domestic and Louis loved the fact that it was this easy for them to fall back together despite the years apart.

“Fine, but I get to nibble a bit,” Louis propositioned.

“Alright,” Harry laughed. “Do you want to eat out here or go back to bed?”

“Anything you want.”

Harry smiled sheepishly as an idea occurred to him. “Let’s go back to bed. We could pull out my laptop and watch _How I Met Your Mother_ from the start.”

“That’d be nice,” Louis grinned.

“Yeah,” Harry said. “I’ve spent too many nights watching _How I Met Your Mother_ alone. Now that I have you back…” Harry smiled, looking up at Louis softly. “I’d honestly say that you’re my yellow umbrella, but I think you’re my Robin, instead.”

Louis frowned in confusion a bit, but smiled nonetheless. The yellow umbrella belonged to the mother on the show and throughout the seasons in the beginning, Ted would tease the viewers about that in his voiceover. He had many encounters with the yellow umbrella and would always be so close to meeting the mother, only to not until the very last season when she was revealed.

“What do you mean?” Louis asked.

Harry placed his spatula beside the hob and turning it off before standing between Louis’ legs again. His two hands were on either of Louis’ sides, resting over the counter, and he was looking up at him with a gleam in his eye.

“Don’t tell me you forgot,” he said. “You were the one that told me the night we finished the show.”

“What did I say?” Louis asked with a nervous laugh, getting extremely curious now.

“You told me that the mother was important to Ted, even though she died in the end, but Robin and Ted were always going to come back to one another no matter what happened. They were each other’s _ones_. Like, that one person in your life who you may or may not end up with, but will always come back to. For Ted, he met many wonderful women and even settled down with one, but it was always going to be Robin for him.”

Louis smiled shyly, biting on his lip. He could feel his heart beating in his chest and his stomach fluttering. If Harry was saying what Louis thought he was, then... “So, you’re Ted and I’m your Robin?”

Harry nodded, biting his lip while looking at Louis. “I once read online that everyone has a Robin -- the one that they love very much, but couldn’t be with because of some twist of fate. And no matter who you met or whatever you did, nothing will be like it would be with your Robin. That’s how I feel about you, babe.” Harry straightened up, placing both of his hands on Louis’ thighs where Louis’ own hands were. He entwined their fingers together and brought them up to kiss each of them. “I watched the show so many times over the past two years, always thinking about you, and I remember this one particular episode that really struck out.”

“Which one was that?”

“It was one from season nine. Ted had said that you will discover how easy it is in life to part ways with people forever. That’s why when you find someone who you want to keep around, you do something about it. I’ve been thinking about that quote for the past two weeks since I got the pupilage in Manchester. I got you back after I’d thought I lost you forever, but was I really going to be stupid enough to lose you again?”

Louis suddenly forgot all about eating now that his heart was swelling up again and his smile was big enough to split his face. “C’mere, my Ted,” he beamed, wrapping his legs around Harry’s waist and dipping down to kiss his lips.

Harry grinned into it, but kissed back, his one hand grabbing Louis’ bum while the other one reached underneath Louis’ shirt to roam over my skin. They were getting pretty into it, one of Harry’s hands having slipped past the hem of Louis’ briefs, and grappling at bare skin.

“Holy shit.”

They both broke apart, startled as they turned to see Niall standing at doorway to the kitchen, eyes wide as he took in the scene before him.

“Oh my God, Niall,” Harry groaned, laughing as he rested his head on Louis’ shoulder to hide his face. Louis was blushing, trying to not make eye contact, but this wasn’t the first time this happened -- this being Niall walking in on them getting frisky. In fact, there were times when it was even more indecent.  

Niall ignored Harry’s protest, walking further into the kitchen as he surveyed the food and then them. “Is this -- is this official?” he asked disbelievingly.

“Yes, Niall,” Harry said, looking up at him. “This is official. We’re back together.”

“ _Fuck_ ,” Niall yelled, a grin forming on his lip. “Shit. I’ve gotta -- oh my god -- I’ve got to --.” Niall bolted out of the room, running out of the flat and Louis turned to look at Harry with a bewildered expression that he matched. Moments later, Niall was pulling Zayn and Ed from across the hall while he held his phone in his ear.

“Louis and Harry back together, guys,” he yelled both into the phone and at the other boys, who were looking at them with raised eyebrows and smirks on their faces. “They’re officially back together. Harry didn’t go to Manchester. He stayed and _they’re each other’s lobsters_.”

 

(A/N: I can't find who made this but thank u so much its so pretty)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> are we happy?????? lemme know! comment or leave me a message on tumblr :)  
> [tumblr](http://softasurcheek.tumblr.com/) / [fic page](http://softasurcheek.tumblr.com/yail) / [chapter post](http://softasurcheek.tumblr.com/post/145636127320/fic-you-are-in-love-author-wildestdreams)


	35. the one during summer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow okay!!!! second to last chapter and im emotional af. this is purely indulgent and just a glimpse into harry and louis' relationship as it progressed that summer.  
>   
> thank you [mac](http://realitybetterthanfiction.tumblr.com/) as always!

_This is the start of something beautiful._

_This is the start of something new._

_You are the one who’d make me lose it all._

_You are the start of something new._

Ed crooned into his microphone, eyes closed as he strummed his guitar while simultaneously enrapturing the crowd of five thousand people who were watching him. It was kind of amazing and surreal to Louis because although Ed had been doing this since Uni days, it was with much smaller crowds than this, but the effect was there nonetheless. There wasn’t anything superficial about him -- Ed put his everything in every song he sang whether it was a cover or one of his own. And anybody could see that, really -- a group of ten in the frat house or a sold out theater.

With a record deal under his belt and a new album coming out in less than a month, Ed was touring the country to get his name out there and also hype up his music. Louis had a feeling he’d be just fine, though, if his songs were anything to go by. Every original track he performed was as good as the other and Louis found himself anxious to have the physical copy in his possession already so he could listen to it on repeat. What made it even more special was that Taylor joined him up on stage to sing a track or two, which they did as a duet for the album.  

Tonight was the first night of Ed’s Summer UK tour and he was starting it off in London at a venue not too far from their old Uni. Many of the boys from Theta Chi showed up as well as the rest of Ed’s friends, including their little group. It felt like a mini reunion. Harry, who was stood behind Louis with his arms wrapped around Louis’ waist, swayed along to the music and even repeated a few lines into Louis’ ear before placing kisses on his neck, making his cheeks burn and stomach warm.

“How good is he?” El gushed when the show was starting to come to a close, clutching her hands on her chest. “I’m going to cry -- I’m so proud.”

“So emotional, this one,” Zayn teased, laughing and wrapping an arm around El.

“She’s right, though,” Niall sniffled, wiping at his eyes. “His songs are beautiful.”

Zayn patted Niall sympathetically on the back, handing him a napkin. Louis chuckled, leaning back against Harry, hearing him let out a breathy laugh as well against his shoulder. “You alright?” Harry asked Louis, giving him a peck on the cheek.

“Perfect,” Louis responded, placing his hands over Harry’s and resting his head back on his shoulder.

Ed’s set finished less than a half hour later. He bid the crowd goodbye and headed backstage where they followed him as the crowd headed towards the exit. Once inside Ed’s dressing room, they all ambushed the ginger and congratulated him on the night, the start of a great tour, and the album.

“You two were amazing,” El told Ed and Taylor, taking a seat on one of the couches. “You had me and Niall in tears.”

“I might have teared up a bit meself, as well,” Zayn added, raising his hand with a guilty look on his face.

“Alright, alright,” Harry shushed the two, waving his hand up and down. “Keep the compliments at a slow, steady rate because Sheeran’s face is the same color as his hair right now.”

“Sod off,” Ed mumbled, flipping Harry the bird despite the grin on his face.

Harry cackled, his voice turning high and giddy, the rest of them joining in once they realized he was right. “All jokes aside, though,” Harry continued. “I do agree with everyone. You sounded brilliant. Any chance we could get an early listen?”

“You can, actually,” Ed said, bending down to rifle through his bag before pulling out a orange album case. He held it up for everyone to see, beaming proudly. “Say hello to my baby.”

“Ed, that is so sick,” El exclaimed, grabbing it from his hands to take a better look.

“Loving the cover,” Zayn added, coming up behind El to see.

“Thanks,” Ed responded, still blushing. “It was between that and another one of me just holding my guitar, but I liked this better.”

“Definitely better,” Zayn agreed. “It gives you a more unique touch.”

“And it’s artsy, too,” El commented.

Ed pulled out his Macbook next, setting it up on the table and opening it to insert the disc to play. For the next hour or so, they all listened to the new album, chiming in with commentary, humming along with the ones they recognized from the show while stuffing their faces with pizzas that Ed’s manager brought in. It was possibly one of the best nights of summer so far. When it came time to leave, Louis almost didn’t want to, wishing the night could go on for a little longer, but Harry was helping him up and soon Louis was hugging Ed goodbye.

“You doing alright?” Ed asked him once they pulled apart. “Saw you out there with him.”

He gestured over to Harry, who was talking animatedly with Zayn about something, and Louis smiled. With Ed being so busy, Louis hadn’t properly spoken to him about anything that had gone on, though he did know that Harry and Louis were back together. “I’m good, yeah. We, uh, we made it work.”

“Did you now?” Ed teased, a happy smile spreading across his face at the news. “I saw on Snapchat, but couldn’t get around to texting you about it. I had a gut feeling you two would, though. I think everyone did.”

Louis smiled shyly. “I mean, it took a while -- a long while -- but somehow it just worked and things played out for the better.”

“I’m glad that despite all the time it took, you both still tried. That’s admirable and very romantic.”

“Well, you know what they say about finding the one.”

“He’s the one, then?” Ed quirked an eyebrow, curiously.

“Yeah,” Louis nodded, feeling a blush come over his cheeks at how quick he was to reply. “He’s the one.”

Ed laughed, pulling Louis into another tight hug, his eyes fond. “If that’s the case, then I bloody insist that I sing at the wedding otherwise I’m not going at all.”

“Aw, we can’t have that now,” Louis laughed before letting go. “Hope to see you soon.”

“For sure. Come down to another one of these shows. I know Liam’s doing one of them as well since he couldn’t be here tonight, so that should be fun.”

“It would. I’ll let you know and we’ll plan it out.”

When Louis eventually walked back to Harry, who was still chatting with Zayn, Louis affectionately wrapped an arm around his torso, pulling him tight in a hug. Harry instinctively wrapped his arm around Louis as well, pulling him in closer until Louis’ face was smushed against Harry’s thin, white t-shirt. Harry continued talking without missing a beat, like it was muscle memory how his body was reacting with Louis’, fitting into place as though it was meant to be. That fact alone was enough to make Louis’ heart feel lighter and his stomach flutter. And if that was all it took for Harry to have that effect on Louis, then there was no doubt he was the one.

 

+++

The doorbell hadn’t stopped ringing for the last five minutes and El wasn’t bothering to get it, which was annoying Louis because if she thought Louis was going to move from his spot on the couch beside Eli during their _Parks and Rec_ binge watch then she was sadly mistaken. It’d been awhile since the two of them got together to hang out due to their busy schedules, so whoever was standing outside their door could either leave or wait for El’s lazy arse to finally answer the door. Eventually, Louis saw El walk over while holding the phone to her ear, jabbering away to who he could only assume to be Taylor on the other end. He turned back to the show, only looking back up when someone cleared their throat behind them.

Louis turned around, finding Harry, his expression confused as he stood there with two takeaway bags in hand.

“Um, hi,” Louis said slowly, properly sitting up and meeting Harry’s confused expression with one of his own. He wasn’t quite expecting Harry tonight. Harry hadn’t mentioned as much from all that they’d spoken today, yet there he was. With food at that. Smelled like Chinese food.

“Hi,” Harry mumbled back, looking at Louis and then to Eli a couple of times, eyebrows raised in question. The two of them hadn’t met yet and Louis wasn’t sure what the protocol was for this.

How does one go about introducing their boyfriend, who was initially their ex-boyfriend for two years, to their other ex-boyfriend, who is now their best friend because they were still in love with their other ex-boyfriend?

At least Eli seemed to be handling this much better than both of them. He beamed over at Harry and extended his hand for a handshake. “Hey mate, I’m Eli. Nice to finally meet you.”

Harry shook his hand promptly, the frown between his brows slowly straightening out despite the guarded look in his eyes. “Nice to meet you as well. M’ Harry.”

“I know,” Eli laughed, looking over at Louis. “I’ve heard a ton about you from Louis. Feel like I already know you, to be honest.”

Harry gave him a tiny, polite smile that looked more like a grimace if you asked Louis, and then turned to look directly at him. “I didn’t mean to intrude, but I ended up getting Chinese food and brought some for you, too.”

“You’re not intruding,” Eli answered for Louis. “By all means, join us.”

“Yeah,” Louis agreed with a nod. “We’re just watching Netflix and chilling out.”

The room suddenly got a lot quieter than Louis expected it to and Harry arched an eyebrow at Louis. “Netflix and chill?”

Eli widened his eyes as he looked away and put his fist to cover his mouth, shaking with muffled laughter. Louis shrugged in confusion and couldn’t figure out what he’d just said that made them both react that way. Harry moved over from behind the couch towards them and plopped down right between Louis and Eli despite the tight squeeze, so much so that half his bum landed on Louis’ thigh and the bags of food almost spilled from where he was trying to tuck it in between his legs on the floor.

“I’ll be joining this Netflix and chill,” he said.

“Okay, but why are you saying it like that?” Louis asked.

“Oh my God, Louis,” Eli sputtered, his face red from laughing. “You’re _joking_.”

Louis shot him a look, clearly saying that, no, he really fucking wasn’t. Eli only shook his head at Louis pitifully while Harry just put his arm around Louis after situating himself.

“What are we watching then?” he asked, turning towards the screen, his tone not at all convincing that he truly wanted to be watching Netflix with them.

“ _Parks and Rec_ , of course,” Eli replied once again, though Louis was pretty sure Harry was asking him.

Harry hummed in response anyway just as Eli pressed the play button and Louis could tell he still had his guard up, not quite trusting Eli and his presence around Louis. It was obvious just from the way he was holding Louis with a sort of possessive flair, though it wasn’t showy. It was more to prove to himself almost and if that made Harry feel better then Louis wasn’t going to say anything.

Harry started taking out the food from the bags by his feet with his other hand, handing Louis his favorite, chicken and broccoli, before picking up his own beef fried rice. “Sorry, mate,” he offered to Eli in a shrug. “Only got enough for two.”

It wasn’t like Harry to be this cold at all. He was one of the nicest people Louis knew -- so openly friendly, charming and lovely to everyone he met -- and yet he was being anything but to Eli. Louis knew _why_ Harry was behaving this way. The two of them barely talked about Eli in the past month that they'd gotten back together and he probably wasn’t expecting to see him hanging out here when Harry wanted to surprise Louis with dinner. Despite all that, Louis wished he was being nicer and he also hoped Eli was aloof enough to not sense Harry’s hostility, but that wasn’t likely. Eli was smart as fuck.

“It’s alright,” Eli replied cheerfully to Harry’s question. “I had a big dinner.”

Harry looked a little stunned almost, looking down at his food intently as he opened it up and started eating. It seemed no matter how rude Harry was being, it wasn’t getting to Eli like Harry maybe hoped it would. Eli wasn’t like that, though. He wasn't going to give an attitude just to be a twat nor was he going to be flirty towards Louis to spite Harry.

By the time the next episode started, Louis could feel Harry relax just slightly as Louis ended up curling into him while eating his food. This one in particular definitely became one of Louis’ favorites, as it involved their current location: London. The characters ended up traveling to England for Leslie’s nomination (some high womanly award that Louis did not pay attention to) and it, of course, involved April, Andy, Ben, and Louis’ personal favorite, Ron. Throughout the whole episode, Ron hated on everything English. When the scene where he made fun of Big Ben by calling it just some “clock” came on, Louis could see a smirk forming on Harry’s lips. “This guy is a riot. What’s his deal?” Harry asked.

Eli laughed at Harry’s comment and responded with, “He is supposed to be the prime representative of capitalist loving Americans. Probably one of the wittiest characters in the whole show.”

Harry turned a little bit towards Eli then. “Yeah, but England is amazing. We’ve got better footie _and_ good tea.”

Eli nodded his head in agreement. “Damn good tea.”

As the show continued, Eli and Harry would comment on the character’s personalities and which one was better overall. At one point they had to pause the telly so that they could face each other and choose between Andy or April. Louis felt a smile slowly emerge on his face as he laughed at their comments, getting more ridiculous and detailed.

It only warmed his heart further when he saw Harry lean over with his beef fried rice. “Hey, mate, would you wanna share some? I got a large, so there’s plenty.”

“I’d love some,” Eli exclaimed grabbing a fork from the bag and taking the plate from Harry. “It smelled amazing. Where do you get yours from?”

“Golden Noodle,” Harry told him. “They’re so good.”

“I agree,” Eli moaned after his first bite.

Harry smiled happily, turning to look over at Louis, finding Louis watching him quite fondly. “What?” Harry asked, kissing Louis’ cheek softly.

“Nothing,” Louis whispered with a shrug. “Just -- this is nice. Thank you.”

Harry understood what he meant and rubbed his palm against Louis’ shoulder, soothingly. “Of course, Lou. Can I have a bite of your chicken, now?”

“Greedy,” Louis teased him before offering a couple of bites.

+++

Harry slowly pulled into the driveway, the two of them staring out the window at Louis’ childhood home with its tan shutters and white picket fence covering the grounds. Doncaster was as cliché as it could get, to be honest. Louis grew up in the same town and house all his life, being on friendly terms with every neighbor and having everything within walking distance. The whole thing was pretty picturesque and Louis quite loved it while growing up. When he moved away for Uni, it was odd to be in a city and took a while to adjust, but eventually his love and appreciation grew for both lifestyles.

Louis got out of the car and walked up to the front door, giving the doorbell a ring, while Harry gathered their two bags from the back of his car and followed him. He flashed Louis a dimpled grin before the door opened, Dan standing on the other side.

"Louis," he beamed, pulling him into a hug. "You doing alright?"

"Yeah," Louis replied, moving out of the way for Harry to come through. "You remember Harry, right?"

"Of course," Dan responded, looking over at Harry. "We met at your graduation."

Harry grinned, offering his hand over for a firm handshake. "It's nice to see you again. Thanks for having me over."

"Likewise and thank you for coming. Lottie just got here a little bit ago as well and they're out in the back having a few drinks. I've got the grill on as well, so I hope you’re hungry because we’re going to have a BBQ."

"Can’t wait! We'll just take our stuff upstairs and meet you all out there."

While Dan headed back to the backyard, Louis led Harry up the stairs towards the bedrooms, noticing him linger a little longer by some of the family pictures they had hanging on the walls. A lot of them -- okay, most of them -- were super embarrassing and Louis should have told his mum to put them away before coming over for the weekend.

"Nice haircut," Harry snickered, pointing out the school picture from when his mum tried to cut Louis’ bangs at home in third year.

Louis glared at Harry, reaching the top of the stairs, while he kept on laughing. "Don’t make fun of me, otherwise I’ll make you sleep on the floor tonight.”

"Don't say that, Lou," Harry said. "You'd miss me too much without having something to cuddle."

"Not likely."

"Alright, fine, you'll miss my prick."

"How cocky are you?" Harry shot Louis an amused grin at that, one which he couldn't help but stifle a smile to as well. "You know what I mean."

"Yeah, sure, I do," he said as they stepped into Louis’ old bedroom and set their bags down. "You're thinking about my dick again."

Louis sputtered, caught off guard by that familiar accusation, one that Harry hadn’t thrown at him for a few years and Louis almost, sort of missed.

"It's okay," Harry continued calmly, staring Louis right in the eyes. "I get it. You've done it countless times before. It's fine. But _right now_ is hardly the time, Louis. We're at your parents house so _please_ try and behave."

Louis crossed his arms. "I'm going to kill you."

Harry laughed again loudly, his green eyes crinkling as he wrapped his arms around Louis and kissed him repeatedly all over his face, which he was pretending to hate and look bored about, even though it was quite pleasant. "Let's go join the family and get these filthy thoughts out of your head, yeah?”

 

**(A/N: I know this isn't Ernie, but close enough)**

+++

 

“Ready to lift off again, Pilot Doris?” Harry asked Doris, holding her up in the air.

Doris confirmed with a shriek of laughter just as Harry started moving her little body around while making these swooshy noises, trying to be an aeroplane.

It was well past Doris’ bedtime and she was making a fuss about not going to bed, so Harry offered to watch and wind her down enough to be exhausted so she’d finally agree to go to sleep. Meanwhile, Louis’ mum and Dan took a sleeping Ernie upstairs and went to bed themselves. Louis sat outside on one of the patio chairs with his glass of strawberry lemonade mixed with a splash of vodka and watched Harry be ridiculously adorable while playing with Louis’ just as ridiculously adorable step-sister.

They’d been here for only about two days and Harry had already managed to charm his parents, sisters and baby brother, as well as their extended relatives who came over earlier today. Louis’d expected as much when Louis’ mum invited them over, but to watch it happen was something else entirely. Harry seemed to be genuinely having a good time as well. They spent all yesterday just hanging out at home after getting here. And then this morning, Harry hung out with Dan and Louis, talked about footie, and then helped his mum prepare brunch. Following that was when all their extended relatives visited and they had drinks out in the back. All in all, it was shaping out to be a great weekend visit.  

Harry placed Doris on his lap and looked into her blue eyes intently with that frog stare of his. “You tired, yet, babe?” he asked her. Doris giggled in response, trying to climb up Harry’s torso to “fly” again, and Harry groaned, falling back against the grass while holding Doris securely in his arms. “She’s tiring me out.”

“Already?” Louis asked him. “You’ve only been watching her for about a half hour.”

“I’m helping her fly this plane, Lou. That’s so much work.”

Louis laughed while watching them fondly. “Alright, bring her over to me. I’ll put her to sleep.”

Harry stood up off the grass, bringing over a red faced, grinning Doris, and handed her over to Louis. Louis cooed at his sister, trying to calm her down from the rush of energy she still had, and placed a kiss on her cheek before placing her on his lap properly. He made sure Doris’ legs were straddled on one of his thighs and that her head was resting against his torso before rocking her back and forth while patting her back.

“Is this going to work?” Harry asked, eyeing them curiously.

“Of course,” Louis replied confidently. “Didn’t you ever put Lux to bed?”

Harry shrugged in response. "She always just listened to me when I told her it was time to go to bed. I'd read her a story and she'd fall asleep."

"Oh, well anyone could fall asleep when you're telling a story."

" _Heeeey_." Harry was doing his best to look offended and the pout on his lips was way too cute to ignore so Louis curled his finger at him, beckoning Harry to come closer. He came easily, a grin replacing his pout as he brushed their lips together. When Harry pulled away, he placed his hand in the crook of Louis’ neck. "This is fun, though."

"What part?" Louis asked.

"You and me baby sitting," he said, looking shy all of a sudden. "I can't wait for when it’s one of our own."

Louis raised his eyebrows at Harry, a sheepish smile on his face. "You want a baby with me, Styles?"

Harry grinned giddily. "Want a baby with you." He was suddenly gazing at Louis with a heated look that was so intense, Louis could instantly feel the tension between them thicken. "God, you turn me on so much," he eventually breathed out after neither of them broke eye contact, causing Louis to suddenly burst out laughing.

Doris, who'd fallen asleep while they were talking, shook awake, looking drowsy and alarmed. Louis went back to patting her on the back softly, trying to lull her to sleep again.

"You're terrible," Louis whispered to Harry when Doris’ breathing evened out.

"Me?" he asked looking incredulous. "That was all you.”

“Yeah, only because you’re being creepy and talking about having babies with me.”

Harry ran a hand through his hair, looking a lot more serious then. “Well -- I didn’t mean right now immediately.”

“Good,” Louis said. “Because I’m not quite ready to do that yet.”

“Me either,” Harry agreed.

“But, one day, right?”

Harry smiled at Louis, leaning over to kiss him sweetly on the cheek. “One day.”

They’d been together for about two months now and things had been going great between them. Harry and him barely fought, only small arguments here and there that resolved immediately after. They fell back into each other easily as though they weren’t apart for the better part of two years, and were just genuinely happy together. Despite all that, Louis wouldn’t lie and say that he didn’t get scared from time to time. There were moments this past summer where Louis almost waited for something big to happen to tear them apart again or think that maybe they shouldn’t move as fast as they were when they talked about things that were so far in the future. However, when you were as sure about someone as Harry and Louis were about each other, then it was easy to push away those fears to move forward.

+++

Louis’ childhood bed wasn’t small per se, but it definitely wasn’t big enough to hold both Harry’s long limbs and him. They were cramped, Harry’s feet dangling off the edge, something that made Louis laugh for a whole five minutes every night they slept there. And it didn’t help that the morning after, they’d both wake up with sore backs and their limbs cracking with every movement they made. Despite all that, they didn’t opt to sleep separately, which would entail Harry going to the guest room. They decided to rough it out only because cuddling up and lining their bodies to fit together was too good of an opportunity to pass up even if they did it all the time back at home as well.

“This is cozy,” Harry smirked at Louis on the last night of their stay.

“Isn’t it?” Louis asked him with a tired yawn. “I could sleep like this forever.”

“Yeah, only because you’re basically using me as your pillow.”

“Well, your big head took over the only pillow I have.”

“Okay, but I’m so much better than this pillow.”

“Of course you are, baby,” Louis cooed teasingly, pressing a kiss against his collarbones. Harry hummed appreciatively, hugging him a little closer. “Did you have fun this weekend?”

“I did,” Harry nodded, his thumb rubbing circles on Louis’ back under his shirt. “Thank you for having me over and introducing me to your family. They’re so great.”

“I’m happy you came,” Louis said, not being able to help the smile forming on his lips. “Dan really liked you and Mum is obsessed with you, naturally. Even my siblings adore you.”

Harry laughed, his chest rumbling. “Wish we could stay a few more days. I could have made that salmon dish I was telling your Mum about.”

“We’ll come back soon, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Harry agreed. “And we’ll come with a new bed that holds the both of us comfortably so we can do _stuff_.”

Louis frowned in confusion, but before he could ask, Harry’s lips were crushing his, his hand having come up to tip Louis’ head back for access. He didn’t waste any time in deepening it by parting Louis’ lips with his tongue and sliding his own in with a wet drag that had Louis feeling breathless, making him want Harry even closer. Harry’s hand slid out from under Louis’ shirt and wrapped around his bare thigh, bringing it up over his waist to rock his hips down.

“So good,” he moaned out, lifting his lips only to place them back down again, peppering kisses across Louis’ jaw. “We should fuck. Haven’t been fucked by you in so long. Like since three days ago. Just want you to wreck me, Lou.”  

“The bed’s too small,” Louis reminded him, his hands coming up to tangle in Harry’s hair as Harry’s mouth ventured further south, leaving a trail of wet kisses on Louis’ neck.

“It’s fine,” he mumbled, biting down on skin to form a bruise. “We can make it work, yeah. Fuck a bigger bed.”

“Okay, yeah, but my family are down the hall.”

“We’ll be extra quiet,” Harry whispered, making Louis laugh. “Just want you to fuck me, baby. Wanna fuck everywhere with you.”

“Harry,” Louis whined as he left another bite right between Louis’ collarbones, feeling his defenses break down. Was he really about to fuck Harry with his parents two doors down while one of his sisters was in the next room? “Just wait a couple more hours. We’ll be home and we can have sex then.”

“I’ll die.”

“You’re so dramatic.” Harry’s hand slipped past the hem of Louis’ pants, his big palm squeezing one of his bum cheeks. Motherfucker knew what he was doing. Louis rolled his eyes. “Oh my God." A pause. " _Fine_.”

+++

 

Sometime during the end of summer, all of their friends were in London at the same time except for Ed and Taylor, who were still on tour. Liam had driven into the city with his girlfriend, Sophia, and Barbara had flown in to visit her family for a few days, and the rest of them weren’t on any summer holidays. Once they realized this, they all got in touch with each other and decided to meet up at their old Uni bar one night.

At first it was slightly awkward in the sense that they were so out of touch with one another, which was to be expected. Some of them had gone from hanging out everyday to growing up and apart. However, that familiar sense of nostalgia and warmth lingered between them still. Sophia, who was really friendly and cool, got on with all of them from the get go despite the fact that she was stepping into a group who had a long history, and there were no bitterness between Niall and Barbara, both greeting each other with long hugs and smiles. It was nice -- everyone coming together and making the most of the night.

They’d ordered a few rounds of pints, caught up with each other, and as the drinks kept coming, so did the waves of memories as they all sat around the booth.

“Honestly speaking,” Louis said. “My senior year was one of my favorite years of Uni...maybe even school in general. I don’t think I could ever forget all the things we did.”

“You mean getting drunk every weekend?” El asked, making the rest of them laugh. “I don’t know how I managed my GPA with all the partying you hooligans made me do.”

“Come off it, El,” Zayn waved off. “You were fucking wild underneath all your books with or without us.”

“That first mixer at the beginning of the year was crazy,” Liam recalled, his arm slung around Sophia, who seemed properly entertained by their stories. “We went hard all night and the morning after, El and Louis crashed at our place and we went for brunch.”

Louis thought back to the first mixer and he had to agree -- it was a pretty crazy night. It was also the night Harry and he had spoken by his bay window, opening up about too deep things that were hardly appropriate for how drunk Louis was. He wondered if Harry remembered that conversation or the first time they’d met at the fun fair. Louis casually turned his head to look at Harry, watching as he spoke to the others about the night of the mixer, and wondered if he ever thought back to how they’d met as well. He knew for the both of them, they hadn’t ever imagined exactly what they’d mean to each other come a few months later. Louis’d never thought Harry would be this special or this important to him -- didn’t think he’d ever fall in love with him, either.

Then again, that did have a lot to do with how Harry had a boyfriend at the time, who he pretty much said he’d end up marrying one day.

“Who remembers the scavenger hunt, though?” Louis asked then.

El raised her drink. “Could never forget that. We were out all night, doing the craziest shit.”

“Remember when we kicked Oli?” Zayn laughed breathlessly. “He was so bloody confused the entire time..”

“I honestly can’t remember who won, now that I think about it,” Liam said, a hand over his chin as he tried to remember.

“Same here,” Louis said. That whole night had taken such a turn from a quiet sleepover, leading to them wreaking havoc in the city as El had just mentioned. “I do, however, remember one of the things on the list was that you boys had to wear laced knickers and run around the supermarket.”

“Don’t remind me,” Liam mumbled, a blush forming on his cheeks.

“You looked great, Liam,” Harry smiled, teasingly.

If Louis had to pinpoint when his friendship with Harry started to take a turn, it would probably be some time around then. Although, he hadn’t quite noticed it as much as he did later on. Instead, he helped Harry go on dates with El, of all people, and found himself hating it, but not knowing why. And when that didn’t work out, Louis pushed him to flirt with other people and casually hook up with them. Harry and Louis’d spoken about this a few times after the matter and he always told Louis that he was not so subtly trying to flirt with him the entire time that he was doing that, but he didn’t want to come on too strong because he wasn’t quite sure if Louis’d felt the same. Truth was, he wasn’t sure himself.

“Remember the night we’d met blond Harry?” Liam asked.

Harry groaned out loud as the rest of them laughed. “Are we still calling him that, I mean he has a name, right? What -- what was his name again?”

“I don’t know,” Zayn shrugged thoughtfully. “I kept calling him blond Harry as well.”

“It was Charles,” El said. “Thank God, Taylor isn’t here. She’d probably sink under the table.”

“He showed up at that pub crawl that once and Ed almost killed him,” Zayn said. “And then that one time Taylor and him were fighting because Ed was a moron, he actually did end up killing him.”

“The night we met blond Harry was also the night we got into that other fight with the wankers from UCL,” Liam added.

“Except we settled that on the pitch, innit?” Niall chuckled. “Bloody amazing, that was. Those fuckers never showed their faces again.”

That match was quite memorable. Louis had taken his big sign that he made to show his support for Harry and had really come to terms with how jealous he was of all the attention Harry got from other people. Instead of acting on it like he should have, Louis pushed it down furthermore when all he wanted was for Harry to choose him no matter how wanted he was or how many options he had. But then, Louis didn’t really see him until New Years Eve. That was the night it all began, he supposed.

“Remember New Years?” he asked, leaning closer into Harry and looking him in the eyes, despite addressing the whole group in general.

“How could I forget?” Harry smiled, his cheeks flushing slightly, while the others chattered on about the rave they went to that night. “The night you finally let me kiss you.”

“Well, we did more than that,” Louis said, noting how much quieter their voices got even though our faces were only inches apart. “But, you could have kissed me before that if you wanted to, you know?”

“I’ll kiss you right now.” Harry's lips were soft against his own, tasting like beer and the chips they shared earlier. It made Louis curl into him, wanting just a little more, like he always did with Harry. When he unfortunately made to pull away, Louis caught his jaw in his hand and held on a little longer, sucking on his bottom lip. When he let go, Harry looked at him with slightly darkened eyes. “Do you want to leave or something?”

“No, I’m alright,” Louis shrugged while Harry groaned in frustration. Louis smiled pleasantly, placing his palm over Harry’s thigh and giving it a squeeze. He was teasing and that wasn’t fair, but Harry could control himself for a few more hours till they got home.

At least Louis hoped he could. There was no telling with Harry.

Louis was right, though. They didn’t just have their first kiss that night, but they also hooked up, and right after that, Louis had freaked out and left. When Harry tried to talk to him about it, Louis was stupid enough to tell him to forget about it and continued to be green with envy when he saw him talking to other people at parties. Louis didn’t blame him at all, but it worked out, slowly. The flirting got worse between them and they were becoming more and more obvious that they wanted each other, though, that wasn’t enough for either of them to make a move. Not until Harry was dared to kiss the prettiest person in the room on Zayn's birthday and he’d chosen Louis, kissing him right in front of everyone else. That opened up a whole new set of doors and Louis remembered how every time they’d get drunk, they’d end up being unable to stop touching and kissing each other. Combine that with a few dirty texts, heated glances, and touches, and Louis’d realized that he had feelings for Harry.

Who knew he could be so thick?

All that sexual tension and blatant want came to a head the night of Harry’s birthday party. They’d gone clubbing and their nosy mates stuck them in a cab together, which led to the two of them finally letting their guards down and kissing the entire way. They’d only pulled apart when they arrived at the club, but ended up leaving together later that night and having sex for the first time. It felt like it had been a long time coming, but at the same time, it had happened so gradually, that Louis wasn’t sure how to look at it. Things shifted between them so naturally after that, that it almost seemed obvious it was going to happen while also seemingly surprising.

In other words, once they'd had sex, they couldn't stop. Harry and Louis started sleeping together, which they later figured out, exclusively. They were constantly together and their friendship suddenly had this new added feature that they couldn’t get enough of. Suddenly, they couldn’t just sit around and talk anymore like they used to, but they had to kiss and touch a little as well. And then when they finally became official, Louis couldn’t remember ever being so satisfied in a relationship of his before.

“Remember our trip to Leeds for holidays?” Barbara asked. “We went clubbing every single night.”

"That was fun. I think after the second night, though, it got to be too much,” El laughed.

“Didn’t Liam and I end up kissing?” Zayn asked.

“They did!” Louis confirmed. “Right in front of me at that. It was amazing.”

Zayn looked over at Sophia and then Liam, the two of them sharing a warm smile. “That was by accident.”

“I second that,” Liam said, while Sophia giggled beside him. “Won’t happen again.”

“You don’t know that,” Zayn shot back, causing the rest of them to laugh.

“That was towards the end of year, right?” El asked.

Zayn nodded. “It was fun -- the last few parties went hard. And the senior cookout was sick as well.”

Louis could feel Harry’s arm around him tighten, fingers pressing into his skin, and he knew why without him saying. That was around the time things had gotten bad between them. They’d had their fight, the things with Dean happened and they broke up. It wasn’t a really great time for either of them, even though they did try to salvage what they could.

“Sucks we can’t relive those days, huh?” Harry asked. “I go through times when I look back and wish so bad that we could maybe experience all that again. I’d wanna feel the things I felt back then and maybe do some things different, too.”

“I agree,” Zayn said. “I think about that as well.”

Everyone got this look in their eye -- one where they all seemed to be looking back to a moment that they’d like to experience all over again to feel it again or maybe change things as Harry said. Louis could think of a few times himself, but it was just one of those things where you sort of had to accept that life was meant to play out the way it did.

“Well, since we can’t go back,” El said. “How about we go walk through campus? You guys have made me nostalgic.”

“Yeah, let’s do it,” Niall said. “I haven’t been in so long.”

Everyone else was on board right away as well, so they gathered their stuff, paying the tab for their drinks, and walked out onto the familiar roads they used to take and knew so well even after all these years. Harry held Louis hand, swinging their tangled fingers between them, and Louis smiled at him. “What would you go back and change?” Louis asked him.

Harry seemed surprised at Louis’ question, not quite expecting him to bring that back up again. “Um,” he mumbled, scratching the back of his head. “I guess a few things that led to us having a fight. I’d make sure we didn’t or that I didn't walk out like an idiot. So much would be different now, wouldn't it?”

Louis licked his lips, looking at their friends who were walking ahead of them and laughing about something. “That’s true...it would, I guess. I think I’d definitely do a few things over regarding that as well. Like -- maybe never talking to Dean again.” Surprisingly, they both laughed at that, their voices mingling. “But, who knows what would have happened down the line if that fight never happened because another one would have eventually because that's only natural. It was also just bad timing. But I am sure of one thing...”

“What’s that?” Harry asked, bringing their hands up to kiss Louis’.

“No matter what happened or what would have happened if things played out differently, I still got you back and I think it’s fate. We were always going to end up together. Yeah, it sucked for a while, but we gave it all we had, didn't we?"

Harry nodded with a smile. “Now, it’s you and me."

“Now, it’s you and me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did u guys love that trip down memory lane? haha! last chapter coming sometime next week! itll be in harry's pov and itll be a time jump 3 years later. cant wait!!  
> [tumblr](http://softasurcheek.tumblr.com/) / [fic page](http://softasurcheek.tumblr.com/yail) / [chapter post](http://softasurcheek.tumblr.com/post/146041353260/fic-you-are-in-love-author-wildestdreams)


	36. the one three years later

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im gonna save my sappiness for the end of the chapter. enjoy this and let me know you thought. it's in harry's pov and will serve as an epilogue of sorts. :)

 

  1. _Bananas_
  2. _Milk_
  3. _Eggs_
  4. _Tomatoes_
  5. _Pasta sauce_
  6. _Chicken breasts_
  7. _Salt_
  8. _Peanut butter_



Harry pulled a hand through his long hair, brushing it further back, while staring down at the grocery list on top of his desk in his home office. He remembered there being only one roll of toilet paper left in the bathroom cabinet, so he jotted that down next to number nine, and glanced over at the picture frame beside the notepad. It was a picture of Louis -- the same one he’d had since they were in school together. It was one of the first things he put in this room when he was decorating it and it always brought a smile to his face whenever he walked in the room and sat down. Louis liked to call him cheesy for it, but Harry knew he secretly loved it.

Deciding to check the kitchen for any remaining items to put on the list, Harry got up and headed over, placing the pad on the counter before looking through the cabinets. They were out of a few spices they would need, so he bent down against the counter and started jotting them down. He heard the front door unlock and open then, someone bustling in.

“Babe, you there?” Louis called out, closing the door.

“In the kitchen,” Harry replied, not looking up from the grocery list until he heard footsteps approaching. The smile on his face was immediate when he caught sight of Louis, looking rather unfairly sexy in his work clothes. He had a way of making everything he wore look hot, though.

“Hi,” Louis smiled back, walking towards Harry slowly. “You have a good day, babe?” He pressed his lips briefly against Harry’s before moving towards the fridge, but Harry grabbed his hand, pulling him back and crowding Louis up against the counter in front of him. Louis looked surprised, giggling as Harry nipped and pecked at his face sporadically. “What are you doing?”

“Kissing you proper,” Harry mumbled, planting a firm kiss on his lips. “It’s been a long day.”

“Aw, you miss me?” Louis asked, finally kissing Harry back, parting his lips with a sigh.

“Miss you whenever I’m not with you,” Harry groaned, playing it up. “You should just quit your job and stay with me all the time.”

“What? And follow you around like a puppy at the law firm, too?”

“That’d make going to work a lot more enjoyable.”

“Nice try, but that’s not going to happen.” Harry moaned dramatically at that, giving Louis one last kiss before letting him go. Louis opened the fridge, grabbing a water bottle out of it, and joined Harry. “What’s this?”

“Grocery list,” Harry told him. “We’ve got to go tomorrow.”

“Mmm,” he mumbled, scanning it over. “Can you add prawns on the list? I want you to do that dish you made for me once for dinner a few months ago. Oh and Nugget’s kitty food, as well.”

“Garlic prawns you mean?” Harry asked while writing down what he said.

“Yes,” Louis nodded giddily. “With the butter. It was amazing.”

“Alright, Lou.”

They worked through the rest of the list, looking through their cabinets and fridge, and writing down anything they didn’t have. Saturdays were their grocery day and it shouldn’t be something they should be excited about, but it was. After moving in together, Louis and Harry had way too much fun being as domestic as they were. They even did their laundry together on Sunday nights while having a horror movie marathon on Netflix and eating leftovers from Saturday night.

“I brought a bottle of Chardonnay for the Sheerans,” Louis told Harry, sipping from his bottle. “They were on display at Sainsbury, so I figured why not. We should be heading there soon.”

“I’m all dressed. Got in about an hour ago.”

“I’ll get on that then.” Louis put down his bottle, walking out of the kitchen and down the hall towards their bedroom, while Harry put their list under a magnet on the fridge for tomorrow. He followed Louis, walking into their bedroom, finding him standing there in light blue knickers with lace trims.

Louis turned to face Harry and Harry’s eyes widened in appreciation, making Louis roll his eyes. “No.”

“What?” Harry asked, laughing as he moved closer to him.

“I can see it in your eyes, Harry. You wanna get distracted and filthy, but we can’t be late. Ed asked us to come on time for once.”

“I can come on time,” Harry whispered into his ear, wrapping an arm around Louis’ bare, soft waist. “I can help you come on time, too.”

“Oh my God,” he groaned, throwing his head back on Harry’s shoulder to laugh. “You’re funny, but maybe later tonight. I’ll let you have your way with me. Promise.” Louis eyes gleamed in a mischievous way that had Harry’s stomach turning in a pleasant way. He was planning to hold him to that promise. Since moving in together, the sex somehow got better. Now that they weren’t living with anyone else, it was like a whole other barrier was broken through, and it was louder and longer and messier. They could also fuck on the couch or the kitchen counter, giving into the moment, without having to worry about immediately cleaning it in case one of their flat mate’s walked in.

Harry hummed in response, pressing a soft kiss on Louis’ shoulder blade, as he laid out his light blue t-shirt on the bed. “You wearing that?” Harry asked him, eyeing the shirt. It was one he got Louis for their anniversary last year along with his favorite cologne.

“Yeah, you like when I wear it, right?”

“Love everything on you,” Harry replied. “Love when everything’s off you, too.”

“You, sir, have a one track mind,” Louis said, sliding out of Harry’s arms to pull his clothes on. Harry laughed, leaning back on the dresser, to allow him to finish getting dressed. He felt something soft and furry brush past his feet and looked down to see their two month old kitten, Nugget, trying to curl up against Harry, probably looking for warmth. Harry bent down, picking him up, and cuddled him against his chest.

Harry found Nugget taking refuge behind their trashcans outside and immediately felt a tug towards him. He was adorable, covered with soft orange colored fur, and big blue eyes. Harry realized he was probably abandoned by his mum when he saw him, very skinny and desperate looking. He immediately proceeded to pick Nugget up, bringing him inside for some milk. When Louis got home, he immediately took to him as well, and it was an unspoken decision that they would keep the kitten.

“I hope they’ve got something good on tonight. I’m starved,” Louis said once he was dressed and started slipping on his Vans.

“Zayn’s already there. Told me that there was a lot of food. Do you want me to get you something anyway for the drive over?”

“No, I’ll wait,” Louis shook his head before walking towards Harry. “All ready.”

“You look perfect,” Harry grinned, encircling his free arm around Louis’s waist and pulling him closer, not being able to help himself.

“Aren’t you the mushiest, best boyfriend any boy could ever ask for,” he smiled, hugging Harry back, and petting Nugget, too.   

“You love the mush.”

“I do,” he nodded with a smile. “You ready to go, bub?”

Harry nodded, leaning forward to kiss Louis’ lips before pulling away, and putting Nugget down. Louis tangled his fingers with Harry’s, the two of them grabbing their phones and belongings as they left the room. Their flat was pretty spacious; taking up one floor in the building they lived in. When Louis and Harry started looking for a place to live together, almost a year and a half ago, they scoured through several places, trying to find the perfect flat that fit for the both of them. When they found this one, they immediately knew they had to get it, even though it was a bit of a splurge.

It was a two bedroom, two baths, with kitchen, living room, dining room, and added balcony. While room wise it wasn’t as big as the flats they lived in before, it was huge for just two people who really only occupied one bedroom and used the other as an office. And every room was large in space, which they liked because if any of their family members or friends decided to sleep over, they’d have some space for them. What made it even more special was the fact that both Louis and Harry really made it home for them. They decorated and put everything together with thought and mutual decisions so it really felt like they’d taken a massive milestone step together in terms of their relationship.

“The holiday party at my office is coming up soon,” Louis said as they stepped outside, their hands still entwined. “Put you down as my plus one.”

“Can’t wait,” Harry replied. “I hope you guys get the same caterers as last time -- that eggplant lasagna was to die for.”

“I’ll tell the party planners about that,” he laughed.

“Is that twat going to be there?”

“Harry,” Louis laughed.

“I’m serious,” Harry insisted, smirking a bit, the two of them making it out onto the street. “I want to see him again, just say hi, and see if he tries to hit on you again. This time I’ll punch him, I swear I will.”

“You’ll do no such thing. You know he’s harmless, right? He’s like ten years older than me and I don’t think using the amount of drinks you consume is a good excuse to start a brawl at an office holiday party.”

“We’ll see about that,” Harry shrugged.

“Harry!”

“What?” Harry laughed as they got into the car. Louis gave him a stern look before climbing into the passenger seat. Harry got into the car, too, adjusting the settings of the car to make sure they were right for him. “Are you coming to my office party as well?”

“Of course I am. There’s no way I’m missing out on that sushi bar you guys have every year.”

+++

The past three years with Louis had been some of Harry’s best yet.

It was a bit strange because he’d been in relationships before Louis that had made him happy and content, but there was something different about Louis -- something that wasn’t there that first time around that they were together. When they started dating in uni, there was an intense heat and passion between them, one that made them almost insatiable with how much they wanted and loved each other. So much so, that they didn’t quite know how to handle it. Their feelings were heightened to a whole other degree whether they were of love, lust, or _jealousy_. This in turn was what somewhat led them to essentially break up and even then, there wasn’t a part of Harry that regretted it.

Being with Louis just felt like the easiest thing in the world -- like the choice to be with him was simple and there was no second guessing involved. Their love was as pure back then as it was now.

What was different from then and now, though, was the fact that Louis was _it_. Or simply put – he was Harry’s favorite person. His favorite person to talk with, be with, drink coffee with. His favorite person to hug, kiss and look at. Every inch of Louis was so special and important to Harry that no one else even came close to match up. Louis was it for him. He was Harry’s boy. Most importantly, it didn’t feel like a dead end with him. When Harry looked at Louis, he could see their continuous future.

Since getting back together, the two of them had grasped what worked for them and what didn’t. They were more patient, more understanding and were able to control their feelings enough that it felt more -- dare Harry say it -- _grown up_. It also helped that he’d gotten a taste of what it was like to not have Louis in his life and it wasn’t something he ever wanted to experience again.

After Harry broke it off with him for good that rainy September day, things were really hard for a while. He’d never felt such a low in his life. He had started distancing himself from all his friends and family and just tried to make it through everyday. Everything felt like a blur when he thought back to then and the days pretty much passed by in a daze. He heard the question, “Are you alright?”, almost everyday and most times he didn’t have an answer whereas other times, he’d word his way around it to make himself sound okay, though he couldn’t tell if he was convincing himself or them.

And It wasn’t necessarily that he _wasn’t_ okay. Harry was functioning alright and getting his school work done, but he just wasn’t himself anymore and most of it was probably because it felt like Louis took a large chunk of him with him when he walked away. That wasn’t something Harry verbally said to anyone because he felt like they already knew. Harry used to be a fun guy, easily making friends with whoever he met, and always down for a good time. All of that seemed useless after everything that had happened. It was like his zest for living was sucked right out of him and he was only going through the motions of his day just to get by.

It made Harry feel terrible when he’d see the look on his friends’ faces whenever he’d say no to hanging out or simply catching up. It made him feel even worse when he’d walk back to his room and close the door, revising his school work for the night because it all just felt so mundane. Harry loved law and he had been excited to continue, but it had felt daunting and like he was just waiting for it to all be over. He suddenly didn’t want to do it anymore -- didn’t want to do anything anymore.

Which was a surprise when he’d met Jeff. He was a ray of sunshine in Harry’s otherwise foggy mind and he had genuine love for him, but it wasn’t the kind he had for Louis. Harry often felt selfish about that because he’d thought that space and time would heal or help him forget Louis and everything they had, but it didn’t help. All Harry did was ignore his broken heart, tried to avoid any chances of those feelings coming back to him, and in a way used Jeff to fill the gap that Louis left, though he never came close. And Harry believed a part of him knew that even when they’d dated, but went along with it anyway because Louis wasn’t there. Louis was off doing his own thing and Harry had to respect that because it was essentially _his_ decision. That didn’t mean he didn’t miss him, though. He felt like all he ever did was miss Louis, so much so that he’d stay up most nights driving by their coffee shop, but never actually going in. He would come back home instead and make shitty instant coffee and stay up watching _How I Met Your Mother_ alone, pretending for a few hours that Louis was right there next to him -- warm, solid and perfect.

Having Louis come back to his life as seamlessly as he did felt like a dream. It had been two years and Harry was just starting to somewhat come back to himself. Jeff was no longer in the picture, which didn’t come as a shock to anyone, and it wasn’t that Harry was completely okay again, but it had started getting better. After talking to Louis that night, he realized Louis had gotten past everything that happened between them and was doing miles better than Harry thought he would be. He was happy for him, but also felt pathetic that he wasn’t on the same track, either. That of course was because Harry was still in love with Louis, but he wasn’t sure how to say it. He felt selfish even thinking about telling him, so he didn’t. Not until he was set to leave for bloody Manchester and it felt like driving away from Louis was the worst thing he could have possibly been doing.

So, he stopped and ran back, not allowing himself to make that same stupid, bloody mistake he’d made all those years ago in the coffee shop.

Since then, Harry’d not only found himself again, but he got his favorite person back, too.

+++

The front door flew open, Ed’s jovial grin greeting Louis and Harry, as he ushered them in. “About time you tossers decided to show up. Everyone’s been here for a while and dinner’s about to be put on the table,” he said, closing the door behind them.

“Just in time then?” Louis asked, toeing off his shoes and walking inside through their hall.

“Just in time,” Taylor smiled, walking out of the kitchen and greeting them with hugs. She had on a little apron over her jeans with cupcake prints all over them while the smell of really good food followed her. “I’ve got some last minute things to do, but I’ll be out with everyone else in a bit, so you guys go ahead.”

“Sounds great,” Louis grinned.

Taylor smiled before walking out, while Ed led them further inside towards the living room where they could hear lots of chatter going on. “You guys doing okay? Everything’s good?”

“Everything’s great, man,” Harry responded, leaning into his touch as he wrapped an arm around him. “Work’s good. Closed three cases the other day. Did I tell you?”

“My little lawyer boy,” Ed grinned, planting a wet kiss on Harry’s cheek.

“You should tell Ed about that guy you schooled in court the other day,” Louis said, looking at Ed with bright, excited eyes. “It was so great, Ed. He caught that fucker in his lie and sent him to jail like he deserved for stealing his father’s money and trying to frame his Mum.”

“That sounds wild as fuck,” Ed said, switching to hold Louis close this time and letting Harry go. “What about you, Louis? Everything good with you?”

“Yeah, work’s been good. I’m trying to get a promotion, but so far it’s a work in progress because this other guy wants the position as well.”

“I’m sure you’ll prove yourself to them sooner rather than later,” Ed encouraged.

“Hope so. Wish me luck,” he sighed.

While the two continued talking, Harry spotted Bella’s bedroom door slightly ajar with the light on, and slipped past them to go inside. When he walked inside, he was met with soft pink colored walls and mint green decor, all pastel and quite pleasing to the eyes. Bella was sat in her crib, looking up with her bright blue eyes when she heard Harry walk in, and giggled loudly.

“Hi Bells,” Harry cooed, walking up to the crib and extending his hands out to her. She squeaked in delight, taking Harry’s hands and getting up on her feet, holding onto Harry as he picked her up. “You doing alright, baby?” He kissed her cheek and smiled, almost waiting for a response, but she wasn’t quite talking yet. Harry gave her another kiss anyway and walked out of the room and towards the living room.

Ed and Taylor had Bella over a year ago after a drunken night that went a bit out of control and protection was a thing that was completely forgotten. Neither of them regretted or freaked out in the slightest, though. They took it on with happy smiles and open arms and it was a blessing, really, because Bella was so beautiful. She was the cutest and prettiest baby Harry’d seen and he wouldn’t be ashamed to admit that he tended to spoil her a bit with kisses and toys. Six months after she was born, Ed and Taylor got married, and they really settled down into becoming a family.

When Harry got back to the living room, he found everyone sat around chatting and greeted them with hugs while holding onto Bella, who had preoccupied herself with playing with Harry’s long hair. She loved getting her thumb around the curls and bouncing them. It was partially why he hadn’t cut his hair yet.

Louis came up to them last and immediately started cooing at Bella, giving her kisses on the cheek and hugging her while holding on to Harry. Bella was responsive, giggling at Louis’s mumbo jumbo baby talk, and it was rather endearing. Harry found himself completely entranced by the two of them interacting that he didn’t notice the others -- especially not El who was taking pictures with the flash on.

“I’m sorry,” she said when Harry turned to glare at her. “It’s just so cute. You guys look like a family.”

“If I didn’t know any better,” Taylor said as she joined them. “I’d think you were stealing my baby.”

“You’ve caught us,” Harry replied. “Bella’s ours. Thanks for birthing her, Taylor, and you, Ed, for providing the right -- materials to make her.”

“Materials,” Zayn repeated, rolling his eyes at Harry’s usage of words.

“I’d like to think we did more than birth her and provide the right materials,” Ed laughed. “But I do agree -- you lot look adorable together. Are you two planning on taking it to the next level any time soon?”

Louis glanced over at Harry with a small smile for a moment before shaking his head in response. “Not yet. Maybe soon, though.” Harry couldn’t contain his own smile at that, watching the way Louis’s face lit up and his cheeks turned a rosy shade of pink. It wasn’t something they actively discussed often, but they did speak about it here and there. They’d talk about it when they passed by a baby store or when they saw parents taking their own babies out for a stroll in their prams.

Dinner was served shortly after. Harry placed Bella in her high chair, seating her down with them, while everyone helped Taylor put the food on the table and set up. Everything looked great from the tossed caesar salad to the baked ziti and chicken parmesan. Harry felt Louis trail his fingers over his hand, gesturing for him to sit beside him. Harry pretended to play dumb, moving over to go sit beside Zayn.

“Harry,” Louis cried, laughing as he tugged on Harry’s hand, making him stumble back towards him. He grinned, leaning in and kissing Louis’ cheek three times in a row before placing one on the lips.

“Alright, stop making out,” Niall mumbled, brushing past them to sit down. “We’re about to eat. Settle down.”

Louis and Harry laughed, not looking the least bit ashamed, and took their seats. For a while, everyone was busy passing around plates of food and serving themselves. Once that was done, there was bustle and chatter from different corners of the table, everyone catching up with one another since they only really got to see and talk each other during their weekly dinners, (that took place at each of our houses in turns).

As a group, things had definitely changed a bit. For one, Barbara wasn’t here tonight. She had moved to Paris a few months ago, ending her stay in America. Her fashion career had taken off to a big start and it seemed she was going places. Between her moves, she’d moved back to London temporarily and it didn’t take long before her and Niall started getting involved again. It was nice seeing them together, interacting and being loved up as they were all through uni, but something must have felt off because Barbara ended it once again. She’d said that while she loved Niall with every fiber of her being, she had bigger dreams -- things she wanted to do and places she wanted to see, but she also didn’t want to hinder Niall in all that he wanted to achieve as well. He took it well for the most part, but their goodbye was tearful and hard to see when they dropped her off at the airport.  

Since then, Niall had been doing well. He was working behind the scenes with big names in the music industry and often worked alongside Ed, who was also selling loads of albums and getting bigger in the States. Niall had been dating around since, but nothing serious, which made sense because after such a long relationship with someone he truly loved, it had to be hard to jump back in. Zayn, on the other hand, had gotten a job as a graphic designer about two years ago that he really liked. He also worked on his own personal pieces, several of which made it into small gallery shows here and there.

As for El -- she was a top notch lawyer and giving Harry a run for his money. She had met someone while out having drinks with a few of her co-workers. It was a bartender named Jada, who had taken a immediate interest in El. El, on the other hand, wasn’t quite ready to jump back into a relationship after things ended with Dylan, but she did want to try and be friends first. And then soon after, it seemed Jada was finally able to get through to El, and the two of them went on their first date, which in turn was followed by a hundred more.

The pair that surprised everyone the most was Liam and Sophia, both of whom were currently feeding each other bites of their food, being sickeningly cute. When they got news that Liam was moving back to London about two years ago, everyone was ecstatic, but what they didn’t expect was Sophia following along with a ring on her finger.

Yup.

The two of them eloped and decided to start a life together in London. Harry wasn’t sure who was more angry at them -- Liam’s family or them for not including any of them in their festivities, which was why they made them have a reception where they had to say their vows again and recreate everything. That night was amazing and so much fun because it was the first wedding in their group of friends and they went all out. Ed sang their first dance song and he was super drunk, too, because it was Ed, but it was hilarious and really good.

It was one of the most surreal things to think about when Harry took a moment to sit back and look at everything and everyone. They’d all grown up with each other from being pesky uni students who got drunk every weekend to grown adults who were working their dream jobs and getting bloody married and having kids. The whole thing felt mad to Harry, yet exciting, too. He hoped it continued like this and they kept growing up together until they were old, while still having the greatest time of their lives.

 

 

+++

“So, then Daisy told me that she wanted to paint my toes and I’d told her that they need a good trimming and all that, so then she and Phoebe both got bored and started doing this full on pedicure shit. Then Mum walked in and demanded to know why I was forcing her daughters to pamper me and those brats did nothing to help me out. Plus, Phoebe also cut my big toe too much and I started bleeding, and now my toes are purple and ugly.”

Louis’s legs were entwined with Harry’s, his body leaning against Harry’s own while he sipped his coffee, and tried to steal as much body heat off of Harry as possible. With their close proximity, Harry could smell the lavender scent of Louis’ shampoo drifting from his hair and the mint gum he had been chewing prior to the coffee Harry bought.

“I’m sure your toes are still the best toes in the world,” Harry told him, nuzzling his nose against Louis’ neck and trying to inhale more of his smell.

Louis shrugged nonchalantly, looking down at his feet, even though his Adidas covered them. “You’re only saying that because you love me.”

“Of course, I do,” Harry smiled, leaning over to kiss his cheek softly, feeling Louis smile. “Love you so much. And your toes, too.”

Louis beamed, blushing as he leaned away from the kiss, trying to tease Harry, but Harry placed his cup behind him on the hood of the car and gripped Louis around the waist. Since his legs were wrapped up with Harry’s, he couldn’t do much and got bombarded by a flurry of kisses from Harry. “God,” he groaned, though there was a smile on his lips. “You’re so annoying.”

“ _Heeey_ ,” Harry said, frowning. “I just sat through you talking about your toenails for twenty minutes and did not once complain.”

“Was I really going on for twenty minutes?” he asked, sounding shocked. Harry nodded, snickering while he looked guilty and put off. “We must be really losing our touch if we’re sat here drinking coffee and talking about my toenails. What happened to us?”

“What do you mean?”

“We used to come out here and talk about such deep things. Do you remember? We had, like, one question a day and we used to talk about our dreams and fears and wants or whatever. We used to talk about _us_ and we how we fell in love with each other and now we’re talking about my sodding toenails. We’ve lost our touch, Harry."

Harry laughed, a high pitched cackle, while keeping his hold on Louis. "I loved hearing about your toes. I think it's just that we live together now. We talk everyday as it is and we’re the first person the other sees when they wake up or go to sleep. That’s probably why we’re running out of topics, but it doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy hearing whatever you have to say."

"That's true," he said softly, leaning his head back against Harry’s chest. "So crazy how far we've come. I think about that all time, like, where we were when we first had our coffee runs and where we are now."

Harry kissed the top of his head, smiling as he nuzzled Louis closer, even though that was pretty impossible with how tangled up they were. It felt like Harry was reaching for more even though Louis was right there, like he wanted Louis to completely consume him. "I think about that, too. And I think about how we talked about love...remember me telling you about how I wanted to find the one?"

Louis tipped his head to the side, smiling at Harry. "How's that working out for you?"

Harry had bought a ring about three weeks back. It wasn't planned or well thought out. He was going home one day after work and he took a different route than usual, stopping by the window of a jewelry store. On the display there was a golden band with a heart engraved on the underside. It wasn’t showy, but it was beautiful and Harry immediately thought about how much he wanted Louis to wear that.

It sort of went from there. Harry didn't think twice -- he walked right in and bought it. Since he’d gotten it, the ring had been sitting in his pocket because he'd been waiting for the perfect moment where it felt right to get down on his knee and propose to Louis finally. The moment didn’t present itself until then.  

Something about it just felt so right. It was 2:38 AM and they were parked outside their coffee shop, cuddled and loved up, and Louis was smiling up at Harry with his clear, baby blue eyes and coffee stained lips. Harry’d never wanted to do something more than propose to him.

He bit his lip, trying to mask his smile, and pulled away from him, disentangling their limbs. Louis looked confused, sitting up with his feet dangling down on the edge, watching Harry curiously as he got down on his feet. He reached into his jacket pocket on the inside and pulled out the small velvet pouch that he chose to carry the ring in. He opened it, taking out the ring, and got down on his knee.

"Harry," Louis breathed out, his eyes wide, but incredibly endeared.

“Louis Tomlinson,” Harry said, his smile threatening to break his face. “I can’t believe I ever got lucky enough to meet someone like you -- someone who’s so kind and full of love and trust and support. Someone who understands me better than I understand myself and someone who takes care of me so well when I need it. Someone who makes me laugh and feel so consumed with love that I don’t know what to do half the time. You’re absolutely perfect and I love you so much...and I want to say that I fell in love with you right here, but I didn’t fall -- I walked into love with you, choosing to take every step further because you mean so much to me.

“And I know that fate and destiny had a hand in bringing us together again and again, but there’s also the fact that I’d choose you over anyone anyway. I love you more than anyone and anything and I’d have chosen you in every lifetime and every world and every reality. It doesn’t matter if we’re apart or separated because I’d find you and I’d choose you. You make me so unbelievably happy and I want to spend the rest of everyday with you. Will you marry me, Lou?”

“Fuck,” Louis stifled out, his voice shaking. “Yeah, I will, _fuck_. Come here.”

Harry felt himself getting choked up as well, but smiling at the same time as he stood up on his feet, and closed the distance between Louis and him. Louis immediately wrapped an arm around his shoulders, tugging him down so that his lips were pressing against Harry’s for a kiss. Well, it was an attempt at a kiss. They couldn’t stop sighing into the kiss and Harry felt like his heart was going to jump out of his chest. He couldn’t believe he’d just done that -- that he’d gone with his gut and proposed without planning anything -- not even a speech because all of that just came out as he’d went on.

Louis pulled away from the kiss, looking at Harry with such happy, teary eyes and smiled softly. “You gonna put the ring on me or what?”

“Ye -- yeah,” Harry nodded, laughing. “Give me your hand.” Louis lifted his hand up to Harry, watching in awe as he slipped the gold band on his finger.

“It’s so pretty,” he said. “It’s perfect, Harry. Oh my God...you proposed.”

“I proposed,” Harry repeated in the same awestruck voice. “The ring looks perfect on you. I’m so happy you said yes.”

Louis swatted him on the arm, laughing as though Harry was insane. “Of course I would have said yes, you arse. I love you so much. So, so much. The most.”

“Love _you_ ,” Harry said again, kissing Louis’ lips soundly.

“How long have you been planning this?” he asked. “And God -- to think I was talking about my sodding toenails right before this happened. You’re awful at planning.”

“I didn’t plan it,” Harry confessed. “I just did it. I bought the ring weeks ago, though.”

“Oh...so no planning, nothing? You didn’t think it through?”

“Nah,” Harry shrugged off. “Knew it would happen perfectly whenever it did.”

“You’re awfully sure of yourself,” Louis quirked an eyebrow.

“Hardly,” Harry said. “That’s why I said I’m happy you said yes.”

“Would you have taken a no, then?” he challenged, trying to get a rise out of Harry.

“I would have waited till whenever you were ready.”

“What if that was never?” Louis continued to tease, leaning up to kiss Harry quickly again.

Harry fixed Louis’ fringe, kissing him back before replying. “Then like I said -- I’d wait another lifetime and another after that until you were ready because I’d only ever propose to you. You’re my boy -- and now you’ll always be _my boy_.”

Louis smiled, his cheeks warm where Harry was cupping them, and said, "So, you found _the one_ then?"

Harry cracked a smile of his own, giving Louis a nod in response.

Harry found his one.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright -- so we're here. at the very end after 271 k words and i'm so emotional. this story is so close to my heart and i poured everything i had into it. i'm so glad that despite the initial issue with the hateful comments, it still made it and was received with open arms by so many of you. you were all so lovely with your comments and messages, i honestly looked forward to that every week. it's been one angsty ride and i hope you all enjoyed it in some way or another.  
>   
> i wanna take the time to give my thanks to my beta [mac](http://realitybetterthanfiction.tumblr.com/). if it wasn't for her, i don't know if i would have been able to do this. she not only helped make my story sound better and grammatically correct, but she was also so supportive and sweet! i wanna thank susan, [that bitch](http://saveasavior.tumblr.com/), for reblogging every chapter post and getting the word out there. i prob wouldn't have half of you if it weren't for her!!!  
>   
> and lastly i wanna thank you all again for reading this and being so lovely to me. i love u v much and i can't wait to share the next fic with you. i'm not sure what it is yet, but i'll have more info on my blog :) thank u again!  
> [tumblr](http://softasurcheek.tumblr.com/) / [fic page](http://softasurcheek.tumblr.com/yail) / [chapter post](http://softasurcheek.tumblr.com/post/146330974740/fic-you-are-in-love-author-wildestdreams)


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